Super Mario 64 DS CARA the Fanfic
by aroramage
Summary: What happens when a video game is adapted as a Choose A Random Adventure on a forum? What happens when the characters and the plot you knew change? What happens when there are more references made than ever in the original? Find out here!
1. Prologue

AN: Hello, and welcome to Super Mario 64 DS CARA the Fanfic. I've been working on this story for the past 3 years on an online forum with a decent fanbase, and so I've decided to bring out the CARA to this website. Why? Well, I just want more people to enjoy the story as much as I do. It's funny how this all began when I was playing Super Mario 64 DS in a car when I thought of making a CARA about it. And now it's grown in popularity to a certain extent. But it can go further, and I want to see that progression. A word to the wary: this story is done in a script format, presenting details of action and then dialogue in-between, so if you don't like scripts, be warned! And now, presenting the fantastic adventures of a colorful cast of characters, familiar and unfamiliar, in the world of Super Mario 64 DS CARA the Fanfic...

Prologue

Dear Mario,

Please come to the castle.  
I've baked a cake for you.

Yours truly,

Princess Toadstool  
Peach

Scene 1

It's a beautiful day at Peach's Castle. A Lakitu flies overhead, carrying his camera by a fishing pole. He flies about the castle rooftop, enjoying the breeze. Out of the corner of his eye, he spies Yoshi, a green dinosaur-like creature, snoozing on top of the castle.

Lakitu: Wonder why he's up here?

Flying about the castle, under a bridge or two, and soaring over to one part of the gardens, he is shocked while in his flight, he runs into a warp pipe that springs up from nowhere.

Lakitu: *surprised and irritated* Why does the warp pipe connection always have to be so randomly placed out around here?

From the warp pipe, a familiar hero to all in the Mushroom Kingdom used the jump he was famous for to get out of the pipe.

Lakitu: Oh my Grambi! Mario?  
Mario: It's-a me, Mario!

Soon, two more warp pipes popped out of the ground, and Luigi and Wario came out of each one. After that, the warp pipes disappeared.

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Lakitu: Are you guys headed toward the castle?  
Luigi: Yeah, we are!  
Lakitu: Well, I won't stop you from having fun! See ya around!

The Lakitu then flies away. The trio heads toward the castle, only Luigi jumps on Wario and circles around him, hitting Mario when he turns around and charges back, while Wario attempts to knock Luigi's lights out.

Wario: Hey-a! We-a need to go to the castle, you idiots!

With that remark, the trio set off toward the castle. In the meanwhile, Yoshi sleeps atop the castle roof.

A while later...  
Yoshi is still asleep, yet has somehow managed to get to the ground where the warp pipes had been earlier. The Lakitu from before is waving his camera in Yoshi's face.

Lakitu: *dreamily* Yoshi, Yoshi…

After a while, Yoshi wakes up.

Yoshi: *shocked* OH MY GRAMBI!

Yoshi leaps away from the camera that the Lakitu is carrying.

Lakitu: Yoshi, calm down!  
Yoshi: *angrily* What? You disturbed my nap and put a camera in my face without my knowing? And you expect me to calm down?  
Lakitu: Look, nothing was recorded, and I didn't meant to startle you, but I have to tell you something.  
Yoshi: *still angry* And what's that?  
Lakitu: You know Mario, right?  
Yoshi: *forgets his anger and become interested* You mean the famous hero of this land? Who doesn't know him!  
Lakitu: Well, he and a couple of others went into that castle a long time ago.  
Yoshi: *suddenly uninterested* Well, THAT's news.  
Lakitu: Sure, but they never came out again.  
Yoshi: *shocked* What?  
Lakitu: It's true! I remembered you were on the roof and I brought you down here to see if you'd be able to do anything.  
Yoshi: Well, I guess I should go save them. But first, since I'm flat out broke, I think I'll look for some coins.

Yoshi then sets off around the garden to find some coins. His fortune only gives him a total of 15 coins.

Yoshi: Well, that was a waste of my time.

Yoshi heads to the front door. He grabs the handle and pulls, but the door does not budge. He tries again and again but fails each time.

Yoshi: Dammit. If only I had a key.  
Lakitu: Did somebody ask for a key?

Yoshi jumps back in surprise.

Yoshi: QUIT SNEAKING UP ON ME!  
Lakitu: Sorry, I thought you would want to know about the key's location.  
Yoshi: Well, where'd you see it last?  
Lakitu: I saw some bunny run off with it into the gardens.  
Yoshi: Hmmm….I thought I saw a bunny rabbit when I was looking for coins.

Yoshi heads over to the gardens. He spies the rabbit and sure enough, he's carrying a key.

Yoshi: Hey, you!  
Rabbit: Oh crap! I've been caught!

The rabbit runs off with the key.

Yoshi: Hey! Get back here with that key!

After a few moments of chasing the rabbit, Yoshi starts to tire out.

Yoshi: Looks like I'll need a plan on catching that wascally wabbit!

…

Yoshi: Whoa. Weird reference to a dimension I've never known.

Yoshi thinks about how to catch the rabbit. Then, just like his trans-dimensional reference, something unexpected hits him in the head.

Trix Yogurt: (hits Yoshi in the head)  
Yoshi: OW! What the hell?  
Trix Rabbit: You'll never find me here!

The Trix Rabbit runs into the castle, bouncing in through an incredibly high window. A few moments later, loud screams are heard and multicolored liquid runs down the side of the castle, with the Trix Rabbit's hand pierced through one of the shards of the broken window.

Yoshi: O_O That was very disturbing. Huh? What's this?

Yoshi picks up the Trix Yogurt.

Yoshi: (thinking) This just might work.

…an hour later…

A not so elaborate trap has been set up. The Trix Yogurt is put in an open area, while Yoshi hides in the bushes. The Rabbit with the key comes up to the yogurt.

Rabbit: …do people really believe that crap about Trix Yogurt luring rabbits? I mean honestly, how can they possibly–

Before the rabbit finishes his sentence, Yoshi sticks his tongue out and licks up the rabbit with lightning speed!

Rabbit: Hey! Let me out of here! I don't like this one bit! You let me out this instant!  
Yoshi: (muffled speech)  
Rabbit: What?  
Yoshi: (muffled speech)  
Rabbit: Okay, fine! Just let me out!

Yoshi spits out the rabbit.

Yoshi: Alright, now give me the key.  
Rabbit: Yeah, about that…NO!  
Yoshi: What? But you promised!  
Rabbit: In your mouth!  
Yoshi: That's it, bunny! You're going down!  
Rabbit: Ha! Don't you realize who I am?  
Yoshi: …uh, no…  
Rabbit: Then be amazed at…

The rabbit suddenly brings out a costume and changes. He now wears crimson clothing. Crimson boots, crimson cape, crimson awesome-looking hat, and crimson mask, making him become:

Rabbit: The Crimson Crusader!  
Yoshi: O_O  
CC: (draws sword) Let's dance to the death!

BATTLE 1 START!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 0 SP

Crimson Crusader's Team  
Crimson Crusader: 10 HP, 5 SP

AN: This is the perfect moment to talk about the battle system! HP, atk, def, and dge are all easy abbreviations. SP is for Special Points, points that are used for Special Attacks. You'll probably see some in a second. Items are easy; just use them for their effects. Fleeing is always an option, but it is usually neglected due to bravery or stupidity. Other battle choices may be available later on. Now let's get to the action!

Yoshi swallows Crimson Crusader (CC) and traps him in an egg!

CC can't atk!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 0 SP

Crimson Crusader's Team  
Crimson Crusader: 10 HP, 5 SP (trapped in egg!)

Yoshi jumps on CC for 3 dge!

CC escaped from the egg!

CC: How dare you trap me in the confinements of an object such as that eggshell! I shall slay-eth thee yet!  
Yoshi: Uh, calm down.

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 0 SP

Crimson Crusader's Team  
Crimson Crusader: 7 HP, 5 SP

Yoshi jumps on CC for 3 dge!

CC swipes at Yoshi with his sword! Yoshi took 5 dge!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 10 HP, 0 SP

Crimson Crusader's Team  
Crimson Crusader: 4 HP, 5 SP

Yoshi jumps on CC for 3 dge!

CC swipes at Yoshi with his sword! Yoshi took 5 dge!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 5 HP, 0 SP

Crimson Crusader's Team  
Crimson Crusader: 1 HP, 5 SP

CC: NO! NO! NO!

Yoshi jumps on CC for 3 dge!

Yoshi's team wins the battle! (even though there's only one member)  
Yoshi leveled up to LV. 2! Yoshi gained 3 HP and 2 SP!

END BATTLE 1!

The Crimson Crusader is lying on the ground. He has dropped the key in the middle of the fight, and Yoshi has picked it up.  
Yoshi got the Castle Key! He can now unlock the front door of the castle!

CC: You have fought valiantly, Yoshi. I admire your strength.  
Yoshi: You know, if you hadn't taken the key in the first place, I might have let you join my party or something.  
CC: Oh please, can I? I've always wanted to meet Mario! He's my idol!  
Yoshi: *under his breath* No kidding.  
CC: Well, how about it? I'd make an excellent thief and I can scavenge food! It's my natural ability!  
Yoshi: Well…I don't really trust you yet. I think you need to redeem yourself in some way.  
CC: How do you suggest that?

Yoshi ponders this for a long time…a LONG time…A LONG TIME…

Aroramage: YOSHI! HURRY UP! I CAN'T HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK IF I'M NOT HAVING IT!  
Yoshi: What? Who said that?  
Aroramage: It is I, aroramage, writer of this CARA that you are in, and I wish you would think of something to have the Crimson Crusader do to redeem himself!  
Yoshi: …like what?  
Aroramage: JUST HAVE HIM OPEN THE DOOR WITH THE KEY!  
Yoshi: But it's a SHINY key!  
Aroramage: ¬¬  
Yoshi: Oh, fine.  
Aroramage: (resumes typing at his desk after turning off the Auto-Type)

Yoshi turns to the Crimson Crusader.

Yoshi: How about you use this SHINY key to unlock the front door for me? Then you'll have redeemed yourself.  
CC: Really? Oh, I thank thee!

Yoshi and the Crimson Crusader head to the front door. CC inserts the key and turns it. The door opens with a click. The duo step inside.

?: Welcome. No one's home! Now scram—and don't come back! Gwa ha ha ha!

Looking around the room, neither of the newly-formed duo can spot the source of the voice. Yoshi spies a Toad conveniently placed near the door.

Yoshi: Hey, where is everybody?  
Toad: Oh thank goodness you've come!  
Yoshi: Yeah, that's great. Now where is everybody?  
Toad: They've all been captured by Bowser!  
Yoshi: Bowser!  
Toad: Yeah! Bowser has kidnapped the princess and used the Power Stars to trap Mario, Luigi, and Wario in the paintings!  
Yoshi: Are you serious?  
Toad: Yeah! See that door over there?

The Toad points to a door with a star on it. A mysterious "1" has been carved decoratively on it in red.

Yoshi: Yeah.  
Toad: Try and open it.

Yoshi walks up to the door and tries to open it. The door, however, doesn't budge.

Toad: The reason that door is impenetrable, or unable to open, is because of the Star Power Bowser used on it to seal the doorway.  
Yoshi: I see. So, different amounts of Star Power open different doors. I guess Star Power is measured in the number of Power Stars one has?  
Toad: Exactly!  
Yoshi: That's great, but what's a Power Star?  
Toad: A Power Star is a star with mystical energies from the cosmos. It allows whoever has at least one to be able to unlock that power. However, there are so many Power Stars, that the power in each individual star is limited to unlocking doors sealed by the power of other Power Stars. The more you have, the stronger you are, and the more doors you can unlock.  
Yoshi: Well, how do we get the Power Stars?  
Toad: Bowser has sealed the stars behind the many paintings in this castle. Each painting is a warp hole that will take you to the place that is painted on the painting.  
Yoshi: Knowing Bowser, he's probably left some sort of weakness in his great big seal-Mario-and-friends-away-forever plan.  
Toad: There's only one door that is not locked by Star Power.

The Toad points to another door, this time with no star marked on it.

Toad: I think there's a painting in there!  
Yoshi: Hah! Bowser always did have a flaw in his plans! Every one of them! Now let's get those Power Stars!  
CC: It looks like you need at least one to get in to that one door with the "1" engraved in the star on it.

The two heroes head into the one room that Bowser left open, unsealed by Star Power. The painting in the room is large, with three black Bob-ombs posed in such a way as to suggest that they were walking.

Yoshi: Ready?  
CC: So, do we just jump into the painting? And it takes us to wherever these marching Bob-ombs are?  
Yoshi: Supposedly, yeah.  
CC: What if we don't go through? What if we just run into the painting?  
Yoshi: Are you scared?  
CC: Fearful, am I not. Just curious as to what might happen.  
Yoshi: I don't know, but there's only one way to find out.

Grabbing the Crimson Crusader's paw, Yoshi charges into the painting and goes through it. And so their terrific adventure begins…

(Jul 24, 2007 – Jul 26, 2007)


	2. Ch 1: Bobomb Battlefield

Chapter 1: Bob-omb Battlefield

Yoshi and the Crimson Crusader quickly crashed into the ground. The room they had been in was no more. They were surrounded now by the shouts of battle and the blasts of cannons. A red Bob-omb runs up to them.

RB: HEY! THIS IS NO TIME TO BE LYING AROUND!

A huge explosion and a massive pile of dirt flung up from the ground causes the duo to immediately seek the nearby shelter of the red Bob-omb fortress.

RB: ARE YOU GUYS INSANE?  
Yoshi: Well, considering we just got here…  
RB: How'd you guys get here anyway?  
Yoshi: Well, we ran through a magical painting and ended up here.  
RB: Well, this is REALLY not the best time to be here. Right now, you guys are on Bob-omb Battlefield.  
CC: Bob-omb Battlefield?  
RB: Yes. Before this battlefield was named as such, it was a peaceful area where we Red Bob-ombs came to play with each other.  
Yoshi: *whisper* How you'd do that, I've no clue.  
RB: We were peaceful and quiet, until one day, a big, black, mustached Bob-omb invaded with his army of black Bob-ombs. We've been fighting on this battlefield ever since. We have always feared facing the Big Bob-omb, ever since Charlie faced him…he lost. The last thing he said before departing to the Underwhere was, "Stop the Big Bob-omb…beat him and his Star Power…"  
Yoshi: Star Power! You mean this Big Bob-omb has Star Power?  
RB: Yes. He is said to be carrying a Power Star.  
Yoshi: Where can we find him?  
RB: You're not thinking of trying to BEAT him, are you?  
Yoshi: We have to get that star from him. You see, we're from Peach's Castle, which has been taken over by Bowser. He has stolen the Power Stars and used them to seal off areas of the castle, so we're trying to get those stars back so we can unlock the power, beat Bowser, and save the castle.  
RB: That's an interesting story, but I'm still not sure you can beat the Big Bob-omb.  
Yoshi: Whoever he is, he couldn't be as strong as Bowser at the moment.  
RB: Touché! Well, the Big Bob-omb himself is at the top of that mountain.

The Red Bob-omb looks in the direction of a rather tall mountain. At the top, a shadowy figure appears to be walking at the top.

RB: If you can beat him, he'll probably give you his Star.  
Yoshi: Thanks for helping out.  
RB: Be warned though. I hear that the Black Bob-ombs have the entire area fortified. It won't be easy getting in.

Yoshi and the Crimson Crusader leave the fortress and enter the nearby town, currently owned by the Red Bob-ombs.

CC: Well, what do we do first?

Yoshi thinks for a moment.

Yoshi: How about we head over to the shop? Maybe we'll get some useful items for our journey.  
CC: Ah, now thou hast a grand idea.

The duo enters the local shop. A Red Bob-omb greets them at the counter.

RB: Hello! What can I do for you fellers?  
Yoshi: Well, we're about to embark on an epic journey and we'll need some supplies for it. What do you have?  
RB: Well, we got the classic Mushroom, guaranteed to boost your energy up! We also have some Syrup to give you the energy to use special moves! Also, we've got some gear for battle that'll help you in any tight situation! So, boys, what'll it be?  
Yoshi: *turning to CC* Do you need anything?  
CC: Not really. I'm fine.  
Yoshi: *turning back to the RB* How much is all this stuff?  
RB: Well, the Mushroom costs 1 coin a piece, Syrup costs 1, and the gear is variable.  
Yoshi: *turning back to CC* How much do we have?  
CC: *rummages through the sack* We have about 10 coins total.  
Yoshi: *turning to the RB once again* We'll take a couple of Mushrooms and Syrups. Also, can I look at the gear?  
RB: Certainly! Hold on a minute.

The Red Bob-omb heads to the back of the shop. He returns with an assortment of weapons.

RB: We got yer basic wooden sword, only 3 coins. We also got yer basic wooden shield for the same price. Then, we've got this little gadget thing here!

He taps his foot on a strange metallic gauntlet. It's black and appears to be burnt.

RB: We don't know what it does, but we'll give it to you for only 2 coins!  
Yoshi: Eh, sure!  
RB: That'll be 6 coins!

Yoshi hands over the coins to the Red Bob-omb. Yoshi's team got 2 Mushrooms, 2 Syrups, and a Strange Gauntlet! Yoshi equipped the Strange Gauntlet!

Yoshi: Alright, let's head up to the mountain summit!

The duo heads toward the mountain. Surprisingly, they meet little resistance and reach the mountain…at the base.

Yoshi: You know, I would've thought there would've been more resistance than that.  
CC: Maybe it's a trap and they're expecting us.  
Yoshi: Well, it looks like there's a path that winds up the mountain side easily. We'll reach the summit in no time at all!

Suddenly, a part of the mountain explodes! Piles of dirt are scattered in many directions! A cannonball falls in front of the duo.

Yoshi: …or, maybe not.  
CC: Did you forget that this is still a battlefield?  
Yoshi: For a moment…

The duo climbs the treacherous mountain, dodging cannon fire and mysterious giant rolling balls that come down right through the path. Eventually, they reach the summit.

Yoshi: Geez, you'd think the Big Bob-omb wouldn't be so tough to reach.  
CC: *sarcastically* Yeah, he'd never expect ANYONE to take his precious star.  
Yoshi: Shut it, you.

As expected, a giant Bob-omb is on top of the mountain. It wears a crown on its head and is stroking what appears to be a white mustache. The duo walks up to the Big Bob-omb.

Yoshi: Excuse me! Mr. Big-Bob-omb! Yoo-hoo!

The Big Bob-omb turns to the duo.

BB: Hello? Is someone there?  
Yoshi: Down here, stupid!

The Big Bob-omb finally notices the duo's presence.

BB: Hello small invaders.  
Yoshi: Sir, we are not invaders. We just came for the star you have.  
BB: By the way, I'm the Big Bob-omb.  
Yoshi: What?  
BB: I'm the King Bob-omb, baron of all blasting matter, king of ka-booms the world over! Incredible!  
Yoshi:…yeah that's nice. Anyways, if we could just have the star you have…  
BB: You don't have a mustache.  
Yoshi: Huh?  
BB: You've made it this far even without a mustache. I commend your courage.  
Yoshi: Dude, all we want is that Power Star.  
BB: Ha! I may commend your courage, but I can't just give you my precious Power Star. You must defeat me in battle if you want it.  
Yoshi: That, or we can steal it.

A small pause, then…

BB: BANDITS! PILLAGERS! THIEVES!  
Yoshi: DAMMIT, SHUT UP!

Suddenly, two Bob-ombs appear.

BB: Ha! I've summoned up my Bob-omb minions! You'll be quite helpless facing them. Now put your tongue back in your mouth. It's quite undignified. Let's battle!

BATTLE 1 START!

AN: Every time a new chapter begins, the first battle in that chapter is always known as Battle 1. It's a system of organization and reference and blah blah blah…

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 18 HP, 2 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 5 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
Big Bob-omb: 100 HP, 0 SP  
Bob-omb Minion 1: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Bob-omb Minion 2: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi swallowed Bob-omb Minion 1 (B1M) and fired it at Bob-omb Minion 2 (B2M)! Both minions explode on contact! 2 more minions appear!

Yoshi: It looks hopeless to try and defeat the minions.  
CC: Yes, I agree with thee. We must attack the Big Bob-omb to win!

The Crimson Crusader (CC) swipes at the Big Bob-omb (BB) with his sword! BB took 6 dge! BB throws a minion at Yoshi, which explodes on contact! Yoshi takes 2 dge!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 16 HP, 2 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 5 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
BB: 94 HP, 0 SP  
B1M: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi swallows B1M and fires it at BB! B1M explodes on contact! BB takes 15 dge! 2 more minions appear! CC uses Crimson Slash! A crimson aura appears around his blade! He slashes at BB with terrific force! BB takes 15 dge! BB throws a minion at Yoshi for 2 dge!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 14 HP, 2 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 3 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
BB: 64 HP, 0 SP  
B1M: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi swallows B1M and fires it at BB! B1M explodes on contact! BB takes 14 dge! 2 more minions appear! CC swipes at BB with his sword! BB took 8 dge! BB throws a minion at CC for 3 dge! Fire from the explosion burns CC!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 14 HP, 2 SP  
CC: 7 HP, 3 SP (burned!)

Big Bob-omb's Team  
BB: 42 HP, 0 SP  
B1M: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi does the same thing he did last turn! BB takes 13 dge! 2 more minions appear! CC swipes at a minion! The minion instantly blows up! CC is damaged! CC took 3 dge! BB throws a minion at Yoshi for 4 dge! 2 more minions appear!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 10 HP, 2 SP  
CC: 4 HP, 3 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
BB: 29 HP, 0 SP  
B1M: 15 HP, 0 SP  
B2M: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi decides to do something different!

Yoshi: I still don't know what this gauntlet does, so let's find out!

Yoshi punches at BB with the gauntlet! The Strange Gauntlet doesn't do anything!

Yoshi: It's useless?

Yoshi opens his fist. As he does so, the Strange Gauntlet creates a sphere of energy!

Yoshi: I wonder where the manual of how to use this gauntlet went? Oh well! Let's use it!

Yoshi used the Strange Gauntlet! He creates a ball of energy and blasts it at BB! A massive explosion occurs, inflicting 20 dge to all of BB's team!

Yoshi: Holy crap! That's awesome!  
BB: Wait a moment! That gauntlet…can it be the one Bowser was searching for? The Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos?  
Yoshi: I can see why he would want this!

CC uses Crimson Slash on BB! BB loses the rest of his HP and is knocked out!

BB: Wait a minute! Where are my minions?  
Yoshi: I think I blew them to smithereens!  
BB: Well, that's logical.

BB is KO'ed NOW! Yoshi's team wins! The Strange Gauntlet is renamed The Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos (GFC)! Yoshi levels up to Lv. 3! CC levels up to Lv. 2! Their HP & SP are boosted by 5!

END BATTLE 1!

The Big Bob-omb is lying on the ground on his back.

BB: Ow! That hurts! How did I lose to a couple of bald-faced fellows like you?  
CC: I'm a RABBIT! I have hair EVERYWHERE!  
BB: Um…well, let's just keep this between you and me. My reputation would plummet if anyone heard that I lost to such folk.  
Yoshi: *sarcastically* Yeah, I'm sure you've got a terrific social life with your explosive personality.  
BB: All the same, I'll give you my precious Power Star in exchange for not telling anyone about this.  
Yoshi: Fair enough.  
BB: Farewell, for now…

BB then explodes and disappears! A Power Star is left in his place!  
The duo has their first Power Star! They can now open some of the sealed doors of the castle!

Yoshi: I bet we could find more Power Stars if we continue looking for them here in this battlefield.  
CC: I suppose the logic in that is not flawed.  
Yoshi: _ OK, let's-a go!  
CC: Dude, that's Mario's line.  
Yoshi: Yeah, I know.

The duo head back into the fortress city, ready to face oncoming danger, even if it ran into them and wanted to race against them.

Yoshi: *reads above statement* Isn't that kinda clichéd?  
Aroramage: DON'T READ THE FOURTH WALL BREAKING MATERIAL! IT DOES JUST AS IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO! *turns off writer-bot, complete with random writer's block gaining abilities, and uses smoke bomb to create smoke to run away and pretend no one saw anything*  
Yoshi: …okay…that part…that was messed up…  
CC: I concur.

Suddenly, a speedy Koopa runs into the duo. They all topple over and fall onto the ground.

Koopa: Whoops! Sorry about that! I was in a rush to get to the edge of the city to see if I could spy out Mario!  
Yoshi: Maybe you should watch where you're going first.  
Koopa: Yeah, I guess so.  
CC: What do you want with Mario anyway?  
Koopa: Nothing much. You look like a fan.  
CC: I am.  
Yoshi: Who isn't?  
Koopa: Well, I haven't seen him anywhere. I was just wondering if you could find him for me. That would be great.  
Yoshi: Oh, yeah…thing is, we haven't seen him around either.  
Koopa: Really?  
Yoshi: Don't worry though. I'm sure we'll find him.  
Koopa: Alright. When you find him, tell him to meet me on the outskirts of town.

With that, the Koopa ran off again.

Yoshi: What do we do?  
CC: Well, I've heard rumours.  
Yoshi: About Mario?  
CC: No, not about Mario. It's actually about caps.  
Yoshi: *sarcastically* Oh, THAT'll help.  
CC: Really, just listen. I hear that there are caps identical to what Mario wears. Fans love those caps, but I hear that some caps are sold at higher prices because they do more than show you love Mario.  
Yoshi: Well, what?  
CC: Those caps are said to actually allow the wearer to bear Mario's resemblance easily. No joke!  
Yoshi: So you're saying that if we find one of these caps, one of us could be disguised as Mario and talk to that Koopa?  
CC: Yes.  
Yoshi: But where will we find one?

AN: This section of the story brought to you by:

CARROT CRUNCHIES!  
Healthy for you and any rabbit on this planet! In fact, rabbits love them so much, they're considered holy!

?: AAAAGGGHHH!

A random Bob-omb runs by and drops a cap. It looks like the one that Mario wears.

Yoshi: …you don't think…  
CC: Oh, I think.

Yoshi picks up the cap and puts it on his head. Instantly, he feels a strange transformation upon him. He instantly turns aurora as his body slowly transforms into the unique shape of Mario.

CC: HOLY CARROT CRUNCHIES!  
Yoshi: *disguised as Mario* Whoa! I'm Mario!  
CC: Yes you are!

AN: Yoshi's name, while disguised as Mario, is MYoshi.

MYoshi: …hey, what are Carrot Crunchies?  
CC: Only the best snack for…THE CRIMSON CRUSADER!

MYoshi falls down anime-style.

MYoshi: Never mind that! We gotta meet with this Koopa guy.

The duo heads to the Koopa they ran into earlier.

Koopa: Whoa! You found Mario!  
CC: Yes! Here he is! In the flesh!  
Koopa: …say, where'd your Yoshi friend run off to?  
CC: Uh…well…he…  
MYoshi: …went to get some snacks for after this thing's said and done!  
Koopa: Cool!  
MYoshi: So, what do you need?  
Koopa: It's more like what do I want. I want to race you to the top of the mountain where the Big Bob-omb was.  
MYoshi: No problem!  
Koopa: I hope you're ready for some speed! This ought to be easy since you need the exercise more!  
MYoshi: You making fun of my weight? Because I could kick your butt to Grambi's place and back if I wanted to.  
Koopa: Talk all you want. When I say, "GO!", we race.  
MYoshi: Ready?  
Koopa: GO!

The two dash as fast as they can. Faster and faster, MYoshi & Koopa run as fast as they can to the top of the mountain. Eventually, MYoshi reaches the top just before Koopa does.

Koopa: Whoo-wee! I thought it'd be easy since you look chubbier. Then again, if you can jump super-high, then you're probably just big-boned.  
MYoshi: Oh stop!  
CC: Seriously…  
Koopa: Well, you beat me. So here's your prize!

Koopa pulls out a Power Star!

MYoshi: YOU HAD A POWER STAR THIS ENTIRE TIME?  
Koopa: Yeah! I was going to give it to you back in the fortress, but I noticed that you were just a little rounder, so I thought some exercise would be good for you!

Koopa gives MYoshi the Power Star! That makes 2 Power Stars!

MYoshi: Gee, thanks-a lot!  
Koopa: No problem. Anyways, I'm heading back to the village! See ya!

With that said and done, Koopa dashes off down the mountain.

MYoshi: You think we should've told him he really got beat by a Yoshi?  
CC: Nah, let him enjoy his fun. Besides, I know the location of another Power Star!  
MYoshi: *takes off cap* What?  
CC: Yeah! I've seen it twice. Once when we first ran up the mountain, then during this race, I saw it again!  
Yoshi: That's cool! Where is it? Where?

A few moments later, the duo has reached the area where the next Power Star is located.

Yoshi: You've GOT to be kidding me.

The scene in front of them is easy enough to see: there is a Power Star in full view. However, it is behind bars. And the only thing standing in front of those bars is a rather ferocious Chain Chomp.

Yoshi: You better have a way of getting around it. It doesn't look friendly at all.  
CC: Sure I do. Never doubt the mind of…THE CRIMSON CRUSADER!  
Yoshi: …or a psychotic rabbit…

As the two are talking, a Goomba walks up to the Chain Chomp and kicks it. As anyone should know, the only reason one should kick a Chain Chomp and there by make it angry at you for kicking it is if you want to kill yourself because you've lost all common sense and no longer have any reason to live…or you're drunk. All the same, the kick of the Goomba caused the already ferocious Chain Chomp to maul this Goomba in a rather bloody and violent manner that will not be discussed due to censorship. The only good thing that came out of this is that the Chain Chomp got a rather favored easy meal. After all, they say Goombas are a delicacy, especially when cooked, since they're typically alive when raw. All the same, by the time the duo realized the happenings caused by the kick of the not so poor or innocent Goomba, it was already too late to save the Goomba, but not too late to realize that the only reason the Chain Chomp was angry in the first place was because it didn't have a decent meal for quite some time. Then, the very next thing they noticed that could make a Chain Chomp angry was having its tail chained to a stake in the ground, binding it to that spot.

Yoshi: Geez, that's a long monologue.  
Aroramage: WILL YOU STOP DEFYING THE FOURTH WALL? YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO SEE THIS MONOLOGUE MUCH LESS READ IT!  
Yoshi: Hmm…maybe I have a gift from Grambi to defy the fourth wall and read stuff unreadable to the naked eye!  
Aroramage: *edits the idea that Yoshi can defy the fourth wall and read stuff unreadable to the naked eye* They'll be no X-ray 4th Wall defying material HERE, no sir…

In the meanwhile, while Yoshi and myself were discussing the above, CC hatched a new idea from underneath his Easter egg.

CC: Isn't that kinda clichéd?  
Aroramage: GAH! DID I NOT JUST GET DONE WITH YOSHI ABOUT DEFYING THE FOURTH WALL? NOW YOU'RE DOING IT! SO QUIT IT!  
CC: …okay, two words: Anger Management…  
Aroramage: I typed you to say that!  
CC: …that doesn't make any sense…AT ALL!  
Aroramage: Just ignore all the dialogue and get the Power Star already, would ya? Sheesh!

So NOW, Yoshi & CC use the new idea and beat the stake out of the ground. The Chain Chomp, realizing that it is free, hops around the area with glee, crashes into the bars, then flees over the hilltop.

Yoshi: Well, that was rather anticlimactic.  
CC: I'll say.

They grab their third Power Star! They can now open Star-sealed doors with 3 on them.

The duo then heads back to the fortress. Upon their arrival, they run into a familiar Bob-omb.

RB: HEY! GET IN THAT BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!  
Yoshi: Huh?  
RB: YOU HEARD ME! NOW!  
Yoshi: But why do we-

Before Yoshi could finish his question, a huge explosion gave him his answer. Immediately, they retreated into the building.

RB: You know, we've got to stop meeting like this.  
Yoshi: I'll say.  
CC: So what's going on?  
RB: He's back.  
Yoshi: Who's back?  
RB: The Big Bob-omb! And he's re-fortified his defenses, meaning it'll be harder for you to reach him.  
Yoshi: I guess so.  
RB: Rumor has it that he got another Power Star from Bowser so he's returned, re-energized and ready to take on whoever.  
Yoshi: Too bad he doesn't realize that we have three!  
RB: Wrong! I think he and Bowser BOTH realize that you two have three. That's why they're after you.  
Yoshi: Well, I guess we'll just have to teach the Big Bob-omb a lesson.  
CC: I agree.  
Yoshi:: To the summit!

While we wait for Yoshi & the Crimson Crusader to reach the summit, we'll check in on an old friend of ours…

_It's quiet…and dark…where am I?_

?: Relax. There's no need to ask pointless questions.

The room is suddenly brightened by a small light. Even with the light, there's not enough to light the room. In fact, the light is emanating from a lamp that shines the light toward a single target: Mario, who is mysteriously tied to a chair. Mario has to shut his eyes so as not to be blinded by the light shining in his face.

?: It's all right. There's nothing to fear…  
Mario: Who are you?  
?: To you, I'm no one. No one important, anyway, at least not yet. I ask that you tell me the secret of these Power Stars.  
Mario: I can't-a tell you much. There's really not a lot to know.  
?: Of course. The only thing about these Stars is that they have the power to seal doors, as well as open them again.  
Mario: I have no idea what you're getting at.  
?: There's more than simple doors that open and close. In fact, many are intangible. Many more are said to not exist.  
Mario: Look, I don't know anything, all-a right?  
?: You don't know anything? I'm sure that's not true.  
Mario: What do you want with the Power Stars, anyway?  
?: Well, I hear they have the power of the cosmos contained in each one.  
Mario: True.  
?: Of course, this power is limited to simply sealing & unsealing doorways. However, have you ever wondered what would happen if one were to gather so many Power Stars, that they could gain immense power?  
Mario: The thought's-a crossed my mind once or twice.  
?: But you have chosen not to consider the possibilities. Your narrow-mindedness proves meaningless to what I've pondered.  
Mario: And what would that be?  
?: Think, Mario. The cosmos are a mysterious area of the universe. Their power could be immense. I've predicted that with enough Power Stars, one could use the power of the cosmos to do what could not be done before. Think! Perhaps the powers of creation! An undiscovered force unlike any other! The possibilities are as endless as the universe!  
Mario: But why do you want the Power Stars? And why give some to that big oaf, Bowser?  
?: First off, Bowser has dreamed of conquering this kingdom for ages, as you undoubtedly know. He has now been able to attain that dream using the Power Stars hidden in this castle! Secondly, now that he has trapped you, his archenemy, and secured your friends and the princess, there's no question as to who will stop him: NO ONE CAN! Third, with Bowser laying siege to this castle, I can progress through my plan to use the Power Stars for my own purposes.  
Mario: And what purposes are those?  
?: Enough with your silly questions! Besides, I'm all out of time with you…

? turns the lamp off and opens the door. For a brief moment, Mario catches a glimpse of his face. Unfortunately, it is still too unrecognizable. The door closes, plunging the room into darkness once again…

_..._

_Great…Bowser took over the castle…Mario is locked away…..I don't know what to do except worry myself and think to myself…What did Bowser do this for?...Where am I anyway?...It's dark here…Mario, come soon….._

_..._

…_grrr….I hate this…_

Scene comes up on Wario, who appears to be in a prison cell.

Wario: This is ridiculous. I can't believe that, after all the loot I've stolen, I get caught and put behind bars…and I didn't even touch anything, much less steal anything! This is so annoying!  
?: Having fun deliriously talking to yourself?

? walks to the cell door. ? removes a key and unlocks the door.

Wario: Huh? You're letting me go?  
?: *laughs* Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't do that! Actually, I wanted to fight you!  
Wario: Huh?  
?: You're Wario, are you not?  
Wario: Yes, I'm Wario!  
?: Well, you're supposed to be the strongest physically, so I thought I'd see what the willpower of the famous Wario could do!  
Wario: Well, you're about to find out, huh?

? leads Wario through a hallway with many doors on both sides. Wario looks at each one, wondering what lies behind them. Images of giant piles of gold and diamonds and jewels of great rarity fill his head with delight. Finally, ? turns to one door, inserts a key into it, and unlocks it. Then, the door opens, and ? walks inside, with Wario following, wondering what ? could want with him. It doesn't help that he can't identify his foe under the hood the opponent wears, with the robes that flow from the same hood. What will happen to Wario?…

In the meanwhile…

Yoshi and the Crimson Crusader finally reach the top of the mountain to find the Big Bob-omb atop of it.

BB & Yoshi: So, you've returned again!

…

BB & Yoshi: Hey! That's MY line!

…

BB & Yoshi: Cut it out!  
CC: Ugh…let's just skip to the battle then, shall we?

BATTLE 2 START!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 23 HP, 7 SP  
CC: 15 HP, 10 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
Big Bob-omb: 100 HP, 0 SP

CC uses Crimson Slash! His blade gains a crimson aura and slashes at BB for 15 dge!

BB: Ouch! Oh no! I will not let you beat me AGAIN! Especially since I've got another Power Star! I've also restyled my mustache!  
Yoshi: …yeah, don't care…

Yoshi uses the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos!

Yoshi: You didn't forget about THIS little thing, now did ya?  
BB: O_O OH SHIT!  
Yoshi: Yes. Say hello to my little friend!

…

Yoshi: Whoa…another weird allusion to another world I've never been to…ANYWAY!

Yoshi creates a sphere of energy and blasts BB with it, causing 25 dge!

CC: You're still weak like this?  
BB: Ha! I don't need minions to do MY dirty work!  
Yoshi: Wow. Now THAT's a king!

BB punches CC for 5 dge!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 23 HP, 7 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 8 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
Big Bob-omb: 60 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi uses the GFC on BB for 26 dge! CC slashes at BB for 5 dge! BB punches Yoshi for 5 dge!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 18 HP, 7 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 8 SP

Big Bob-omb's Team  
Big Bob-omb: 29 HP, 0 SP

BB: I'm getting beaten WAY too easily! That's it! It's super secret attack time!  
Yoshi: That doesn't sound good…  
BB: Time to use my ultimate…OBLITERATION TACTIC #1!

BB summons up four Bob-ombs and 1 King Bob-omb! He lights all their fuses and throws them at the party members! The Bob-ombs explode, causing 2 dge each Bob-omb to all characters! King Bob-omb lands on the ground, heavily.

KB: I go Ka-BOOM in three turns!  
Yoshi: Statistically speaking, we can beat him in the next turn.  
KB: …THIS MAKE ME ANGRY! REDUCED TO "IF YOU FAIL TO BEAT HIM THIS TURN YOU'RE DEAD" TURNS!  
Yoshi: That's a phrase.  
KB: You have thirty seconds to live.  
Yoshi: …O_O OH SHIT!

Yoshi charges the GFC and blasts BB!

KB: Twenty seconds…

BB took 25 dge! CC slashes BB for…

KB: Ten seconds…

…5 dge! BB is defeated!

Yoshi: Shall we run for our lives?  
CC: Oh yes, let's.  
KB: 5…4…  
Yoshi & CC: AAAAGGGGHHHHH!

The duo retreat successfully to a safe area!

KB:…3...2…1…..uh, what's after one?  
BB: Ugh, defeated again! I guess I'll give my star to those heroes. Perhaps I'm nothing more than a big fat zero. I mean-

BOOOM!

The Power Star flies to Yoshi and CC. They got another Power Star! They now have 4 Power Stars!

Yoshi: Well, now what?

…..

Meanwhile….

Wario looks about him. There appears to be a giant stadium! No jewelry, gold, or anything valuable in sight. That meant no prize.

?: You must fight me for your freedom.  
Wario: Fight you? To get out of here?

The two stare at each other…or at least, Wario looks at ? where his head should be and assumes ? is looking back.

Wario: No problem!

Wario instantly pulls out a random Bob-omb and throws it at ? ? raises his right hand, which appears blackened or covered in black. Mysteriously, the Bob-omb stops in mid-air, then seems to shudder a little, and then expands unrealistically, then compresses until it's no more.

Wario: What the hell?

AN: Start playing Orochimaru's Theme here. Yes, I'm a Naruto fan, deal with it.

?: Is that all you've got?  
Wario: Grrr….HARDLY!

Wario charges at ? ? raises his head enough to have a flashing glare hit Wario head on! Wario can't move!

Wario: What the hell is going on?  
?: Honestly, did you think I would let you TOUCH me? Did you think I wanted to fight you, only to lose humiliatingly and let you go? Hardly, indeed! For I am the only great power here!

? swiftly moves his right and left hand, showing both are black, and executes a swift series of movements, eventually hitting the frozen in mid-air Wario with a tremendous burst of invisible energy! Wario is sent flying to the back wall. In the midst of his attack, ?'s hood falls off, revealing nothing more than a blackened head. Wario, after shaking off the awesome blow, simply stares bewildered at his opponent.

Wario: Who…what are you?  
? : Is that fear I sense? I sure hope that wasn't all you've got. Trust me, this is not my true physical form. I simply use this in case the hood does fall off. It's another disguise, which also acts like armor. Face it, you never could have hoped to win! Even if you are one of the Star Children, you could not possibly hope to defeat me!  
Wario: What does my being one of the Star Children have anything to do with this?  
?: Oh, you'll find out soon enough…

? puts his hood back on over his head.

?: …but for now, I've seen all I needed to see from you, and I have proof that physical strength shall not hurt me. I will teleport you back to your cell, and you shall forget any of this happened.

? holds out his hand, and a bright flash envelops Wario. The next thing Wario sees is the stone ceiling above him as he lies in bed, wondering where all the gold and jewels are, as he was before the intrusion so many minutes ago…..

Meanwhile, with Yoshi and CC…

Yoshi: You know what, I'm getting tired of this place. Maybe we can leave and come back later.  
CC: Shouldn't we buy some supplies so that we can battle our foes with better preparation?  
Yoshi: Dude, I don't know what you said, but I don't care! Out we go!

The duo travels into town. Suddenly…

?: HELP!  
Yoshi: What was that?  
CC: A cry of distress, probably male…  
Yoshi: Right….now let's find out who it is!

The duo runs to where the cry came from. The scene before them shows three red Bob-ombs bothering a rather tall and rather skinny person, who covers his face with his purple cap. Oddly enough, he resembles Luigi…

RB1: What do you think you're doing?  
RB2: We can't afford anyone stealing ANYTHING!  
RB3: Especially not money!  
?: Lay off, will ya? I'm desperate!  
Yoshi: Hey, what's going on here?  
RB1: This felon tried to take my food!  
RB2: This pilferer tried to steal my comfort!  
RB3: This thief tried to rob me of my money!  
CC: Who are you, anyway?  
?: Me? I'm Waluigi, Wario's partner-in-crime!  
Yoshi: Really?  
Waluigi: …or at least until he went missing. I've tried to fend for myself for so long! I came to the castle, found the front door open, then I hear a couple of characters climbed through the painting that got me here!  
CC: Those characters would be Yoshi and myself.  
Waluigi: Really? Do you know what happened to Wario?  
Yoshi: Not really. We just know he's imprisoned along with Mario and Luigi, as well as the princess, all once again by Bowser.  
Waluigi: (_Hmmm…if I travel with these guys, I could find Wario in no time!_) Okay, how about this? I'll travel with you guys, return all I've stolen, and temporarily become good to find Wario…as long as you guys help me find him.  
Yoshi: Well, I don't know…  
CC: Neither do I know. I'm not sure what use a thief would be on the team.  
Yoshi: He could steal useful items from enemies, as well as get us more cash in a hurry.  
Waluigi: Cash is my specialty!  
CC: Well, it goes against virtuous heroic acts, but I think we can take him in.  
Yoshi: Congrats, Waluigi, you're with us now!  
Waluigi: Hurray!

Waluigi joined the team! The duo is now a trio! Or at least they are once Waluigi returns all the stuff he stole!

Waluigi: So, where to, fearless leader?  
Yoshi: We were kinda planning to get out of here.  
CC: But we don't even know how to do that! How will we do it?

Yoshi surveys the surrounding area, then sees something of interest.

Yoshi: I've got it!  
CC & Waluigi: What?  
Yoshi: We blast our way out of here!  
CC: But we don't have any sort of blasting object.  
Waluigi: I could steal one!  
Yoshi: That won't be necessary! Look over there!

Yoshi points to where he saw the interesting something earlier. It's a cannon.

CC: You're joking, right?  
Yoshi: Nope!  
CC: That's what I thought…

The trio (gotta get used to typing that) heads toward the cannon. Near the cannon is a Red Bob-omb.

RB: What can I do for you three?  
Yoshi: We need to get out of here. Could we use that cannon?  
RB: Why?  
Yoshi: …to get out of here.  
RB: Couldn't you fellers just walk out? The gate's just over there.  
Waluigi: No, he means get out of HERE.  
RB: Look, the concept's not that hard. You just use those noodle-legs and walk toward the gate. I mean, is it that hard to explain things to people?  
Yoshi: *sarcastically* Great. How about you lecture us on it so we get it in our heads?  
RB: That's a great idea!

All in the trio slap their foreheads.

RB: Now, it all starts millions of years ago…  
Yoshi: *whispers to Waluigi and CC* Okay, we got to move fast. On three, we jump in and blast off, got it?  
CC: Okay.  
Waluigi: Yeah, sure.

While the Red Bob-omb babbles for a bit, Yoshi says, "Three!" The trio then charges past the Red Bob-omb, and they jump into the cannon. The cannon automatically positions itself, and the trio blast off.

RB: Ah, I'm gonna miss those fellers. Maybe if I find a random nobody…

(Aug 9, 2007 - Oct 14, 2007)


	3. Ch 2: Whomp's Fortress

Chapter 2: Whomp's Fortress

The trio pops out of the painting, back at the castle. A strange ripple effect occurs on the painting as they pop out.

Yoshi: Well, that's interesting.

The newly-formed trio heads out of the room, and then they head to various rooms, unlocking Star Seals everywhere.

Waluigi: So, now what? We've unlocked a few doors. Where to?  
Yoshi: I PICK THIS ONE!

Yoshi charges into the door on the right side of the stairs, next to the door heading underneath the stairs. Waluigi and CC follow after him. Inside is a painting of what appears to be a floating fortress.

Yoshi: INTO THE PAINTING!  
Waluigi: Um, are you sure you're not charging into this too dramatically?  
CC: Or recklessly?  
Yoshi: Nope! Painting! Jump into! NOW!

The trio jump into the painting and end up…in the sky.

Yoshi: Hmm…maybe I should have thought about this before we went in.  
Waluigi and CC: YOU THINK?

The trio falls through the clouds.

Waluigi: Guys! Before we all die a horrible death, I just want to say sorry for stealing stuff from anyone!  
CC: I'm sorry I never got to meet Mario and defeat Bowser!  
Yoshi: I'm sorry that we have to die a horrible death because of your stealing and your inability to meet Mario and defeat Bowser!  
Waluigi and CC: HEY!  
Yoshi:…and my reckless actions, that works too…

The trio finally crashes into the ground. A nearby sign says, "Welcome to the Whomp's Fortress"…..

Yoshi finally wakes up…and he's in a stone prison…alone…in a jail cell…

Yoshi: HEY WHERE AM I?  
?: You're trapped in Whomp's Fortress!  
Yoshi: Huh?

A Whomp, which is a square cement made creature with a face walks in on two stubby legs, its stubby arms waving around. On its back is a bandaged X.

Whomp Jailer: Yes! Whomp's Fortress! Mighty stronghold of King Whomp himself! Hidden in the clouds! When we heard screams, and when we saw three suspicious things falling from the sky, and when that trio landed here, we instantly took them hostage, and that's why you are trapped in Whomp's Fortress! HAHAHAHAHA!  
Yoshi: Wow…  
Whomp Jailer: Impressive, isn't it?  
Yoshi: Well, the cell, no the fortress, maybe, and your expansive vocabulary, YES!  
Whomp Jailer: Do not mock the Whomps! You'll never escape!  
Yoshi: May I borrow the key to the cell?  
Whomp Jailer: Okay!

The jailer hands Yoshi the key to the cell, but then takes it back as Yoshi grabs for it.

Whomp Jailer: Say, what're you trying to pull? What do you plan to do with the key once I give it to you?  
Yoshi: Put it in the lock for safekeeping, of course!  
Whomp Jailer: Ha! I could do that myself!

The jailer inserts the key into the lock.

Yoshi: Better turn it to the right, that way it's in there nice and snug and easy!  
Whomp Jailer: Wow! Why didn't I think of that before?

The jailer turns the key, unlocking the lock.

Yoshi: Oops! Maybe the key broke! Better get it out!  
Whomp Jailer: What? The key broke?

The jailer rapidly takes the key out, revealing it to be clearly fine.

Yoshi: Oh sorry, my bad.  
Whomp Jailer: Oh, it's alright.  
Yoshi: No, I meant this!

Yoshi uses the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos to shoot a massive fireball at the jailer.

Whomp Jailer: Should've seen that co-

The jailer can't finish his last sentence, as he has been fully incinerated.

Yoshi: Whomps are so dumb!

Yoshi escapes his cell.

Yoshi: I wonder where the others are. Well, you know, when the going gets tough, the TOUGH….GO…..go…..how'd it go again? It worked so well in my head…  
Aroramage: _ *cough cough* shopping *cough cough*  
Yoshi: Huh? What was that? I thought heard a cough coming from that direction!

Yoshi heads toward his right after exiting his cell. He runs down the hallway until…

SCP: ZO-M-G, LE-GEN-DAR-Y PO-KE-MON!  
Yoshi: O_O  
Aroramage: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CARA?  
SCP: YOU'LL NEVER KNOW AND NEVER FIND OUT!

SCP flees, but not before drawing a "." on the wall.

Yoshi: …that was way too random…and scary…and creepy….and….not right…..

Yoshi runs in the opposite direction. Eventually, he comes to the fork again and heads forward, which from his cell would be left. Down the hall, Yoshi eventually runs into…a group of guards.

WG1: HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN YOUR CELL!  
WG2: GET HIM! HE MUST NOT ESCAPE!  
Yoshi: O_o I had to take that turn. I couldn't just go the other way.

Yoshi flees in the opposite direction.

WG1: GET HIM!

After about five minutes…

The Whomp Guards are on the floor at a particular turn in the corridors. They're covered in egg shell pieces and yolk. Yoshi steps out from around the corner, jumps, and ground-pounds them, thereby defeating the guards…and getting coins out of it too!

Waluigi: COINS!

From nowhere, Waluigi comes and gathers the coins quickly.

Yoshi: O_O Where did you come from? I thought you were locked up in a cell somewhere!  
CC: You mean that one?

CC points toward the nearby cell, its door slightly ajar. The guard is knocked out.

Yoshi: …well, anyway, let's get out of here!

They escape…while battling various enemies, gaining coins, and eventually reaching the outside.

Yoshi: Wow, this is one tall place.

The tower, from the outside, is extremely tall. Surprisingly, there is a staircase connected to the outside, which, for various safety regulations, has a handrail.

Yoshi: To the top, I say!

Upon reaching the top of the tower, the trio takes a breather.

Yoshi: Grambi, that's a tall tower.  
Waluigi: Grambi, that's a long staircase.  
CC: Grambi, I thought I had enough exercise before.  
Aroramage: Grambi, I could sure use a Grammy.

After the break, the trio look and find…a Whomp.

Yoshi: You're all that's up here?  
Whomp: What? You should be frightened! I am the King Whomp!  
Yoshi: No you're not.  
Whomp: Yes I am!  
Yoshi: Then where's your crown?  
Whomp: My what?  
Yoshi: Your crown! It's clearly stated in the Training Manual for Beginning Monarchs that any ruling monarch of any kingdom should wear a crown. So where's your crown, and what kingdom do you rule?  
Whomp: Uh…well…my crown…it's in…the, uh….crown repair shop! Yeah, one of the points broke-off a while ago, so I needed to get it replaced! Oh, and I'm the king of…uh…well, I'm….the king of…Thwombodia!  
Yoshi: Thwombodia?  
Waluigi: I've never heard of that place.  
Whomp: Well, you see…it's way out in…the, uh….Desert Plains of the Prickly Cactus Farm of Pain and Pokiness!  
CC: What?  
Yoshi: So, Thwombodia is in a desert?  
Whomp: Desert Plains!  
Yoshi: Of a farm?  
Whomp: Of Prickly Cacti!  
Yoshi: Of Pain and Pokiness?  
Whomp: Uh-huh!  
Yoshi:…well, works well enough for me! So that means you have the Power Star!  
Whomp: The what?  
Yoshi: You know, shiny star, gives power to people, Power Star!  
Whomp: Uh, sure!  
Yoshi: OK!

Few minutes later…

The Whomp is on the ground, face-flat. The trio looks at the pitiful Whomp.

Yoshi: You know, something tells me that he's not the king.  
Waluigi: Yeah, I've never heard of a Desert Plains of Prickly Cactus Farm of Pain and Pokiness.  
CC: I think the name was a bit redundant.  
Aroramage: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? DID I NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS THAT HE WASN'T THE KING?  
Yoshi: Who keeps talking to us like that?  
CC: Ghosts?  
Waluigi: Grammi?  
Yoshi: Sounds more like Grampi, but who is it?

While the group tries to figure this out, the real Whomp King comes. He is at least ten stories high, weighing in at ten thousand tons; he crushes the Imposter Whomp under his foot.

Yoshi:…although it could have been some mysterious entity from another universe who controls our very speech so that we are forced to say anything they type on a electric-powered system.  
Waluigi: Don't be ridiculous! That stuff only happens in video games!  
Whomp King: You puny welps!

The trio, now surprisingly aware of the massive Whomp King, turn in his direction.

Whomp King: It make me so mad! We build your houses, your castles. We pave your road. And still you walk all over us. Do you ever say thank you? No! Well, you're not going to wipe your foot on me!  
Yoshi: Sounds like a personal issue to me.  
Whomp King: I think I'll crush you just for fun! Do you have a problem with that?  
Yoshi: Well, the fact that you clearly outweigh, outsize, and outlast us is probably going to give you a clear advantage in the inevitably occurring fight, but if you could just hand us the Power Star, we'll make this as painless as possible.  
Whomp King: NO!  
Yoshi: …can't say I didn't warn him…  
Whomp King: Just try to pound me, welp!  
Yoshi: Don't you normally say "wimp"?  
Whomp King: I try new word. I like. It just like "baka"!  
Yoshi: Idiot?  
Whomp King: Yes! Now, wimpy welpy baka! Come and try to smash me! Ha!

AN: The following section contains intense amounts of fourth-wall breaking, and hardly any fighting at all. If this is not what you came for, too bad. But if you use Find to search for the words, "BATTLE RE-START!", you should be able to quickly go straight to the actual fighting. If you wish to read the fourth-wall breaking material, please note that some side effects to reading fourth-wall breaking material are: dilerium, insanity, ten days in the fetal position, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, headache, stomach ache, spleen ache, abdominal pain, flatulence, blindness, heart attack, stroke, and occasionally random staples in your back. Thank you, and enjoy the following.

BATTLE START!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 10 SP  
CC: 20 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 20 HP, 15 SP

Whomp King's Team  
WK: 100000 HP, 100000 SP

Yoshi: *looks at stats above* O_O Oh shit….  
Waluigi: What's wrong?  
CC: What are his stats? His HP? His SP?  
Yoshi: ….it's…..it's…..  
Waluigi: Well? What is it?  
Yoshi: ….you know, maybe this wasn't a good idea….  
CC: Why? What are his stats?  
Yoshi: His stats….THEY'RE OVER 9000!  
Waluigi: WHAT 9000!  
Yoshi: Thus, we should do nothing more than run for our tiny insignificant lives.  
Aroramage: *reads dialogue above* HEY! HOW DID YOU READ THOSE STATS?  
Yoshi: 4th-wall Breaking Abilities.  
Aroramage: But I...I….I thought I took those away from you back in Chapter 1, right around the time of when you found the third Power Star!  
Yoshi: Wait, was that before the second time we faced the Big Bob-omb?  
Aroramage: Yeah, something like that.  
CC: Oh yeah, I remember that.  
Waluigi: Why can't I?  
Yoshi: You came in after the second battle. Remember? You were getting hassled by some Red Bob-ombs for stealing or something.  
Aroramage: Yeah, I remember that.  
WK: WHOMP KING NO LIKE TALKING! WHOMP KING LIKE SMASHING!  
Aroramage: Yes, yes, just give it a minute.  
Yoshi: So, why are his stats so overpowered?  
Aroramage: You remember the weird guy who basically defied the fourth wall by running in here while you were searching for Waluigi's cell and CC's cell?  
Yoshi: Yeah. Isn't he the author for Paper Luigi?  
CC: Yeah, he needs to get after that.  
Aroramage: Yeah. Well, anyway, he voted on a special forum that this story is getting typed onto currently, and he got a 7, which in this story results in a "You choose", which he chose 9: Are you kidding? We don't have enough EXP to beat him! Thus, you do not have enough EXP to defeat the Whomp King.  
WK: ME LIKES VERY MUCH, WELPS!  
Yoshi: O_O AND YOU GAVE HIM STATS THAT ARE OVER 9000?  
Aroramage: Hey, I knew it was impossible for you guys to beat, so I picked it. Also, it provided some good joke material.  
Yoshi: Well, then, he must have a weak spot! Like the rest of the Whomps!  
Aroramage: Brilliant! And that would be…HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOURTH-WALL BREAKING ABILITIES!  
CC: I sure hope he didn't just now catch onto that.  
Aroramage: *edits out memory allowing characters to defy fourth-wall, as well as erasing the memories from defying the fourth-wall and taking away that ability from all characters, now, before, and later*  
Yoshi: Huh? What happened?  
WK: I SMASH YOU NOW, WELP!

BATTLE RE-START!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 10 SP  
CC: 20 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 20 HP, 15 SP

Whomp King's Team  
WK: 100000 HP, 100000 SP

Yoshi runs around the Whomp King!

Yoshi: Hey guys! I found a weak spot!  
Aroramage: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS RIGHT THERE?  
Yoshi: Duh, other Whomps, mysterious-talking-voice-from-the-sky!

CC runs around Whomp King! Waluigi runs around Whomp King!

WK: HEY! NO FAIR! HOW YOU KNOW I HAVE LOW SPEED?  
Yoshi: You have low speed?  
WK:…shit….

Yoshi uses the Gauntler of Fiery Chaos on the weak spot! The weak spot is hit for 10 dge!

WK: Uh-oh!

The Whomp King is starting to crumble away!

Yoshi: I have you now!  
CC: Eh hem!  
Yoshi:…I mean, we have you now!

Meanwhile, in a distant place…

? is looking at the scene of the Whomp King beginning to crumble away from a dark room, built of ancient bricks that have been shrouded in shadows. He is seeing this through a mysterious crystal orb in the center of this room, centered upon a table.

?: Hmm…The Whomp King is losing to this bunch of heroes? A rabbit with Mario as his idol, a brother of one of the prisoners, and a non-purple dinosaur are the rescuers of my prisoners? This is intolerable that the king of Whomps is losing. It's sad that the Big Bob-omb lost to this trio…or at least two of them. And he was beaten twice! I can hardly trust any of these inferior subordinates. At this rate, I'm not sure Bowser was even a wise choice to be the scapegoat! This is not going the way I planned. If only that foolish Koopa king had kept the Power Stars…then that is that. I must retrieve the Power Stars on my own. I cannot rely on my own allies…

? begins to head toward a nearby door, when suddenly he stops.

?: Hmm…on the other hand, these heroes may be the fools I've been looking for. I wanted the Power Stars, so now…

? turns to face the orb.

?:…I will grant them what they wish! The faster they get here, and the more Power Stars they gather, the stronger I shall become!

? pulls back his robe's sleeves, mutters an incantation, then shoots lightning towards the orb, which absorbs the entirety of the lightning. After this is done, ? turns toward the doorway again.

?: Let the game begin!

Meanwhile, at Whomp Fortress…

Narrator: The valiant young lads have discovered the weak point upon the giant king of the Whomps. He is currently crumbling away and will soon be destroyed. Once the lads obtain the Power Star, they shall…

Random barbarian attacks the Narrator! The Narrator took 5 dge, KO'ing him! The barbarian rides off laughing!

Narrator's wife: Ralph!

Meanwhile, at the TOP of Whomp Fortress…

The Whomp King is continuing his crumbling!

Yoshi: I have you now!  
CC: Wait, didn't you already say that?  
Yoshi:…yeah, so?  
CC: That's a little repetitive then, isn't it?  
Yoshi: Yeah, so?  
Waluigi: Can I steal his organs?  
CC: Wait a minute, are you suggesting we take a bunch of stones from his remains?  
Waluigi: Yeah, so?  
WK: WHOMP KING CAN HEAR YOU DUMMY-HEADS!  
Yoshi: We know, but you can't stop us, can you?  
WK: WHOMP KING HATE YOU! WHOMP KING GOING TO F-

Suddenly, lightning obliterates the Whomp King, causing a MASSIVE UBER EXPLOSION!

Yoshi: Ho-  
CC: So-  
Waluigi: He-

The trio are caught in the midst of the explosion! The entire fortress is caught in the explosion! My laundry got caught in that explosion! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

...

….

…..

….

…

The explosion has finished. The fortress tower has been destroyed. And there appears to be no sign of life. The place has been wrecked.

Yoshi: Man, this place looks wrecked.  
Aroramage: I know, right? Anyways, our heroes seem to have been caught in the explosion and have been entirely obliterated, erasing the hopes of many for the Power Stars' return, the renewal of the kingdom, and the freedom of Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Peach.  
Waluigi: *sniff* That's so sad! I'm-a going to cry! *does so*  
CC: Yes, what a tragic end to our great heroes!  
Yoshi: Oh the inyoshamity!  
Aroramage: Sorry, to all of you who have read this far, but this looks like the end for our valiant…HEY WAIT A MINUTE!  
Yoshi: What?  
Aroramage: WHAT THE **** ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?  
Yoshi: What does it look like, genius? We're watching our own destruction!  
Aroramage: WHAT?  
Yoshi: Yeah, you see, we were protected from the explosion by the Power Stars we had so we decided to come up here to your office to watch our own destruction.  
Aroramage: YOU GUYS HAD TIME TO MAKE A VISIT TO SOMEPLACE YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE KNOWN OF ITS EXISTENCE WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE THE OTHERS?  
Yoshi:…yeah, so?  
Aroramage: GET OUT THERE!

Abruptly, the trio appears upon the wreckage of the fortress.

Yoshi: Well that was rude!  
CC: Entirely!  
Waluigi: Truly!  
Yoshi: Inyoshamity!  
CC: Deviously!  
Waluigi: Demonically!  
Yoshi: Excitingly!  
CC: Abverbially!  
Waluigi: Indubitably!  
Aroramage: Colorfully!  
SCP: RANDOMALLY!  
Chao: Chaoally!  
Crystal King: Crystally!  
Wario: Evilly!  
Bowser: Infernally!  
?: Darkly!  
Aroramage: Magically!  
Prince of Shroobs: Shroobishly!  
Peach: Peachy!  
Luigi: Frighteningly!  
Pikachu: Pika-ly!  
Link: Hiya-ly!  
Mario: Bravely!  
BZ: Good god-ly!  
SCP: CARMA-LY!  
Aroramage: Powe-WAIT A MINUTE! HOW DID YOU ALL GET IN HERE?  
Everyone: *say excuses like "Free time" or "You're door was open" or just say something entirely off-topic like "Happy birthday!"*  
Aroramage: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE NOW!  
Everyone: *leaves, muttering curses under their breath*  
Aroramage: HONESTLY, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY AROUND HERE?

Meanwhile, back at Whomp Fortress, now decimated by MASSIVE UBER EXPLOSION!...

Yoshi: Look! Shiny gold somethings!

Sure enough, underneath some rocks are several shiny gold somethings!

Waluigi: Could it be money?  
Yoshi: Could it be the Power Star or Stars?  
CC: Could it be-  
Aroramage: Oh no, you don't!

The trio goes over forcibly to the shiny gold somethings. It turns out that in the midst of the explosion, the Power Stars were somehow attracted to each other and protected themselves.

Yoshi: First Law of Power Stars: Always protect yourself!  
CC: Haven't been doing a good job of that, have they?

The trio grabs all of the Power Stars, totaling 7 new Power Stars to their 4, making a total of 11 Power Stars!

Yoshi: You know, this should be considered cheating!  
CC: Eh, if it gets us faster to our goal, I've no complaints here!  
Waluigi: Ditto!  
Yoshi: Well, I guess we should go back to the castle!  
Waluigi: Yeah, there's not much left here anyway!

The trio looks for a way to safely get back out again.

Yoshi: Um, how do we get out of here?  
Waluigi: Beats me!  
CC: Well, what if we used the Power Stars? Surely with their magical energies, we could get out no problem!  
Yoshi: Worth a shot!

The trio activates the Star Power in the Power Stars. The trio and the Stars begin to glow! Then, the Stars start to spin not only by themselves, but then they start to circle the trio, going faster and faster until the surroundings are nothing more than a blur of golden shininess, as the trio finally leaves Whomp Fortress…

(Oct 28, 2007 - April 23, 2008)


	4. Ch 3: Saving Mario

Chapter 3: Rescue of Mario

The trio flies out of the picture. They land back in the room where they entered the painting. It is now blank, with a yellow line saying "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".

Yoshi: Well, where to now?  
CC: You know, I think we can unlock the princess' bedroom now.  
Waluigi: WHOO-HOO! PANTY RAID!

Yoshi slaps Waluigi.

Yoshi: We're not here to raid her drawers. And if we have time, we each take a pair. For now, we'll go there in the idea of…um…of…  
Aroramage: *sigh* Rescue Mario.  
Yoshi: God? Anyways, something came to mind. We should rescue Mario!  
CC: I approve highly of this thought! Please show us the way!  
Yoshi: I have a hunch that we could find it if we start with Peach's room.  
Waluigi: WHOO-HOO! PANTY RAID!

Yoshi slaps Waluigi again.

Yoshi: Quit thinking dirty, you'll have time for that later. Now then…

The trio walks up to the door where Peach's bedroom is. Yoshi unlocks the door with his Star Power, and they enter the room. It smells of peaches.

Waluigi: That is a really BIG dresser!

The trio stands in front of a really BIG dresser. A Toad is there as well.

Yoshi: Dude, what're you doing here?  
Toad: I came in here to hide!  
Waluigi: Lucky.  
Toad: Why?  
Waluigi: You're locked up in the princess' bedroom with her dresser sitting right there, yet you can't use your imagination to wonder what you could've been doing this entire time?  
Toad: Well, I looked 'cause I was curious…  
Yoshi: Of course…  
Toad:...and all I found were these.

Toad pulls out a minigame selection screen.

Yoshi: WTF?  
Waluigi: ROFL MAO!  
CC: -_-  
Toad: ?  
Yoshi: We speakz leetz language. Can U speakz likez this?  
CC: Et r muy bueno, no?  
Waluigi: Mix-zors with the other languages of the world-zors.  
Aroramage: Haxxors!

Aroramage fixes hax, which r teh suck-zors.

Yoshi: I liked those.  
Aroramage: Sorry, people lose interest too fast. In fact, if you haven't read to this point, you are missing a lot.  
Yoshi: …well, that's that…

Meanwhile, in a far away place…

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

MUSHROOM WARS!

Episode 1: The Floating Letters of Spacey Doom

Bowser has taken control of the Mushroom Kingdom through the aid of a mysterious person. With his help, Bowser has kidnapped the princess once again, but he also has captured Mario, Luigi, and Wario in his frightful trap.

Yoshi, the last warrior left, gathers a small band of rebels to try and fight off the dark menace that plagues the castle grounds with his evil tyranny. All they have to do is gather the Power Stars.

Meanwhile, other CARAs are written and RPGs made, so feel free to check them out in a forum near you! While there, you can sign up for them as well as play them most anytime unless otherwise noted.

Will Yoshi's team be able to defeat Bowser and save everyone? Or will they fail? Will they save Mario in their first rescue mission? Why am I asking you all these questions? Why are there questions to ask? Have you seen your hair lately? Look at it, it's a big floppy mess, and I'm just a bunch of letters floating around in space. I mean, what's up with that? And don't talk to me about bad hair days; for me, it's just another paragraph.

Look, see! Another paragraph! It's time to destroy the world!

…later!

The heroes enter through the torn-apart doorway. A portrait of Mario hangs on the wall.

Yoshi: I sense a disturbance.  
CC: Where?  
Yoshi: That painting.  
CC: Does this scene have any humor at all?  
Yoshi: Yes.  
CC: What?  
Yoshi:…your fly is undone.  
CC: I don't have a fly.  
Yoshi: Exactly. Let's go.

Yoshi and Waluigi enter the painting. CC looks around and pulls out an undone fly out of his pocket.

CC: It's alright. I'll rebuild you some day.

He walks into the painting...

The trio lands on a stump. Their surroundings are stumps, curiously shaped, with a mysterious purple mist floating about. A Goomba on one of these stumps falls into the mist, but walks around fine.

CC: I believe the mist to be harmful to heroes.  
Yoshi: What makes you say that?  
CC: Because none of the enemies are affected by the traps set against the heroes.  
Yoshi: Point taken.

So they defeat various enemies and gain various experience easily. They finally reach a point where there is a stump with a hole in the top.

Yoshi: I bet down there is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.  
CC: Let's be cautious.  
Waluigi: Oh very cautious.  
Yoshi: Oh, come on guys, it's just a hole with the unlikely potential to be dangerous.  
CC: Not dangerous in the least.  
Waluigi: Recklessness is awesomeness.  
Yoshi: …um, yeah, lets' go!

They jump into the hole. That is what she said. They appear at an arena of sorts. In front of them: Goomboss, the King of Goombas.

Goomboss: Please present your identification.  
Yoshi: Uh, you don't need to see our identification?  
Goomboss: Fine, are you who I'm looking for?  
CC: Um, we are not who you are looking for?  
Goomboss: Whatever, move along.  
Waluigi: Moving along with pleasure!  
Goomboss: No, just say it, just say it.  
Yoshi: Who are you?  
Goomboss: I'm Goomboss, King of the Goombas. And I have resentment. We are stepped on all the time by Mario and his friends. We are always being stepped on. But no more shall we be stepped on! We shall no longer be the stomped, but the stompers! We shall be the walkers and not the sidewalk! We shall be the rulers instead of whatever it is we are now!  
Yoshi: Servants?  
CC: Minions?  
Waluigi: Underlings?  
Goomboss: Like I said, what-EVER we are presently, we shall not be anymore! And you pose no threat, for you do lack a mustache.  
Waluigi: Right!  
Goomboss: That's all…wait, you!  
Waluigi: Who?  
Goomboss: You!  
Waluigi: Who?  
Goomboss: You!  
Waluigi: Who?  
Goomboss: You!  
Waluigi: Who?  
Goomboss: Ugh! Do you not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?  
Waluigi: Man, no one can understand the words that are coming out of your mouth, man!  
Goomboss: Silence, then! Be gone from my sight!

BATTLE 1 START!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 30 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 15 SP

Goomboss's Team  
Goomboss: 250 HP, 25 SP  
Goomba x3: 5 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi attacks Goomboss with the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos for 23 damage!

Goomboss: Hmm. The force is strong with this one!  
Yoshi: What force?  
Goomboss: I refer to your power!  
Yoshi: Well, we do have eleven.  
Goomboss: WHAT? ELEVEN POWER STARS? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE THAT MANY?  
Yoshi: Whomp's Fortress got blown to smithereens and we found them in the wreckage.  
Goomboss: THIS IS NOT RIGHT! YOU SHALL FAIL!  
?: Not-a really!

Out of nowhere, Mario appears!

Goomboss: What? I thought the boss had you locked up! I even have the key!  
Mario: You-a can't keep me for long!  
Yoshi: Wow!  
Waluigi: Whoa!  
CC: OMG! XD  
?: It IS you! Oo-aah!

Out of nowhere, Donkey Kong appears!

DK: Mario! I've not seen you since the last game!  
Mario: DK! What are-a you doing here? And why are you with Goomboss?  
DK: As it turns out, I'm secretly evil. Now it's time to be defeated! Oo-aaahhh!  
Mario: At last, DK, the circle is complete. When I last left you, I was an ordinary carpenter with superior climbing abilities. Now I am the master!  
DK: Only a master of plungers, Mario!  
CC: You know he doesn't actually do a lot of plumbing for a plumber, right?  
Yoshi: I had no idea he was a carpenter. What would he be like if he was still a carpenter?

*Dreamy Sequence*

Mario: Wa-ha!

Mario brings out a hammer and nails and starts attacking Goombas by smashing nails into their faces with his hammer.

Luigi: Bro, use this!

Luigi tosses Mario a nail gun, which he cocks and loads! Mario obliterates the Goombas with a shower of nails! Blood is everywhere! Mwahahahahahaha!

*End Dream Sequence*

Mario: That…was…disturbing….  
Goomboss: So…much….blood…  
DK: No…DK…cameo…  
Yoshi: Uh, yeah, fight time!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 30 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

Goomboss's Team  
Goomboss: 225 HP, 25 SP  
Goomba x3: 5 HP, 0 SP  
DK: 300 HP, 25 SP

CC attacks a Goomba for 12 damage, defeating it! Waluigi chucks a random Bob-omb at the opposing team, dealing 25 damage to the opponents! Two Goombas KO'ed! Mario Jumps and Slams Goomboss for 15 damage! Goomboss summons three more Goombas! DK punches CC for 15 damage!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 30 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

Goomboss's Team  
Goomboss: 185 HP, 25 SP  
Goomba x3: 5 HP, 0 SP  
DK: 275 HP, 25 SP

Yoshi uses GFC on Goombas! They are all easily KO'ed! CC slashes at Goomboss for 14 damage! Waluigi punches Goomboss for 13 damage! Mario jumps on Goomboss for 16 damage!

Goomboss: Gargh! This angers me! I will not be defeated!

Goomboss is getting angry! He grew larger! And redder! Goomboss summons six Goombas now! He charges at Yoshi for 15 damage! DK throws a banana peel on the ground!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

Goomboss's Team  
Goomboss: 142 HP, 25 SP  
Goomba x6: 5 HP, 0 SP  
DK: 275 HP, 25 SP

Yoshi is charging the GFC! CC slashes at the Goombas, defeating three of them instantly! Waluigi throws a random Bob-omb at the opposing team, defeating the remaining Goombas and causing 26 damage to Goomboss and DK! Mario throws a Fireball at DK for 15 damage! Goomboss summons 6 Goomba and charges at Mario, but Mario dodges and counterattacks for 8 damage! DK uses Barrel Blast! He starts charging the Barrel Cannon!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 15 SP (charging)  
CC: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

Goomboss's Team  
Goomboss: 108 HP, 25 SP  
Goomba x6: 5 HP, 0 SP  
DK: 234 HP, 25 SP (charging)

Yoshi is charging! CC slashes at the Goombas again, defeating all of them this time! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket and whacks Goomboss multiple times! Goomboss takes 13+12+13+CRITICAL 24 damage! Mario threw a Fireball at Goomboss for 20 damage!

Goomboss: OK, NOW I'M MAD!

Goomboss grows even larger! He summons nine Goombas and charges at Waluigi for 24 damage! DK is charging!

Yoshi: Look at that boss!  
CC: That's no boss. That's a space station!  
Waluigi: I would have aimed for a moon from where we're standing.

They are standing behind Goomboss.

Goomboss: HEY! GO AWAY!

Yoshi's Team returns to the other side.

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 15 SP (charging)  
CC: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 1 HP, 15 SP (danger!)  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

Goomboss's Team  
Goomboss: 26 HP, 25 SP  
Goomba x9: 5 HP, 0 SP  
DK: 234 HP, 25 SP (charging)

Yoshi throws a massive energy ball at the opposing team for 45 damage!

Goomboss: What? No way? How could you beat me? Is it just the Goomba's fate to lose? No, I refuse! Next time we meet, you'll be sorry!  
Yoshi: Yeah, but the problem is we don't see you for the rest of the game, kinda like the Big Bob-omb. You just disappear!  
Goomboss: How do you know that?  
Yoshi: Easy! We haxxed the system to getz the goodz!  
Goomboss:…sh*tz…

Goomboss is defeated! But DK is still in play! CC slashes DK for 15 damage! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at DK for 22 damage! Mario throws a fireball at DK for 18 damage! DK is still charging!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 1 HP, 15 SP (danger!)  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

DK's Team  
DK: 179 HP, 25 SP (charging)

Yoshi uses Egg Toss! He throws an egg at DK for 5 damage! CC slashes at DK for 12 damage! Waluigi brings out his racket and attacks DK multiple times! DK takes 12+15+13+14+17 damage!

Mario: Perfect-a timing!

Mario brings out a Smash Ball from nowhere!

DK: Where'd you find that?  
Mario: When I was walking around, I-a found it!

Mario breaks the Smash Ball!

Mario: Oh yeah!

Mario shoots the Mario Finale at DK! The twin dragons hit DK for 45+45 damage!

DK: Okay, it's now or never!

DK fires the Barrel Cannon at the other team…only to be blocked by the twin dragons of flame!

DK: Oo-eeh? It's a trick!  
Mario: Who's the master now, bitch?

DK's attack fails!

Yoshi's Team  
Yoshi: 15 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 1 HP, 15 SP (danger!)  
Mario: 35 HP, 25 SP

DK's Team  
DK: 1 HP, 25 SP (danger!)

DK: That's it! CHAAARRGGEE!

DK runs at the party in wild fury!

Yoshi: We're done for!  
CC: It's the end!  
Waluigi: I'm sorry about that girl in Barcelona!  
Yoshi: Wait, that was…you?  
Mario: Wait, look!

DK is running at them…until he comically slips and falls on the banana peel he threw earlier! He takes 1 damage, KO'ing him!

BATTLE END!

Mario stands above DK.

Mario: You were the chosen one! You were the one who was supposed to bring balance to the Republic, not destroy it!  
DK: What the hell are you talking about?  
Mario: Hmm…I have no idea-a.  
DK: Wait, Mario! I have something to say! After all, Luigi never did tell you about your father!  
Mario: He told me enough. He told me Bowser killed him!  
DK: No, Mario…Someone is your father!  
Someone: Yes, Mario, it is true.  
Mario: No, that can't be! That's impossible!  
Someone: Search your feelings. You know it to be true!  
Mario: Noooo!  
Yoshi: Ummm, yeah, we're done here. You can go now, Someone. We'll deal with you later.  
Someone: Ahh, I did that for nothing too…*walks away*  
Yoshi: Well, we have Mario, so let's go!  
DK: Not so fast!  
Yoshi: What?  
DK: This isn't Mario!  
Yoshi: What do you mean?  
DK: This isn't Mario. It's really…

Suddenly, Mario twinges, twitches, and twelts…I mean, melts away.

Yoshi: Holy crap, they killed Mario! Those bastards!  
DK: Actually, that was an unstable clone of Mairo made from old banana peels.  
Yoshi: Oh…holy crap, they killed a bunch of banana peels! Those bastards!  
DK: That made very little sense. Anyway, look what I got!

DK holds up the key to Mario's room!

DK: I'll open the room if you let me join you!  
Yoshi: I don't see why not!  
CC: You'll be an invaluable partner on our side!  
Waluigi: You're ape-ish-ness will make my bad rep look worse! And that's good for me!

DK joins the team!

Yoshi: Yeah! Let's go home!

DK summons a Barrel Blast Cannon! They load up, and blast off, while the world behind them blows up in a cataclysmic spectacular recreation of the Death Star blowing up!

Yoshi: Whoa! Glad we got out of there quick!  
DK: Yeah, I set some charges down before I arrived.  
Yoshi: Nice.

They reappear in the same room where they left.

Yoshi: Alright, rescue Mario time!

They head to the appropriate area, wherever that is, and go in front of the door marked with an "M".

DK: This is Mario's door. We can unlock it now.

DK unlocks the door and they go inside. They find an interesting set of walls made of stone. They are on the inside of a cell. Mario is sitting there.

Mario: Shweets! I'm-a out of here!

Mario joins the party! Awesomeness ensues! The Chapter is almost over and there was very little CARA to do with it! But it's still EPIC!

…..

? is looking into his crystal ball again. He is watching the group celebrate Mario's freedom.

?: Smile while you can.

Next time, on Super Mario 64 DS CARA…

Mario: Your overconfidence is your weakness.  
Bowser: Your faith in your friends is yours.  
Yoshi: Do or do not. Never try.

…haha, jk…

(May 14, 2008)


	5. Ch 4: The Blizzard of NeverEnding

AN: Warning! The following chapter contains really PO'd characters cursing violently! Be warned, as this chapter contains more angst than the average bear!

Chapter 4: The Blizzard of Never-Ending

We find our heroes exiting the corrupted maze of terrifying terror, only to be attacked by an angry howling wolverine-spider thing, where they were swallowed alive and are now in the belly of the beast...okay, not really, but that would be pretty cool, right?

Presently, and in this particular time-frame, the party members (Yoshi, the Crimson Crusader, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, and recently Mario) are traveling to the snow-covered mountain of frigid chilliness called Cool, Cool Mountain, though I liked the Snowy Mountain of Frigid Chilliness better. They currently have 11 Power Stars in their possession.

Yoshi: Don't you think they'd already know all of that if they've been eagerly reading this stuff and are desperate for this update?  
Aroramage: *glare*  
Yoshi: o_o

And thus, the heroes travel to Cool, Cool Mountain via the portrait that takes them there.

Yoshi: Didn't we have to unlock a door first?  
Aroramage: You're GOING to the MOUNTAIN NOW.  
Yoshi: o_o

And thus, the heroes arrive near the base of the mountain.

Yoshi: But don't we-  
Aroramage: Can it!

The party walks up to a nearby-

Yoshi: Umm, aroramage?  
Aroramage: Alright, what the **** do you want?  
Yoshi:…well, we have a good number of party members, and, well….  
Aroramage: Well what?  
Yoshi: Is there going to be a reserve or some convenient mode of transporting us besides having a big group walk around? We aren't very subtle.  
CC: I agree with this remark.  
Aroramage: Ugh, fine! Here!

I, the author, hereby create a backpack that can store anything inside of it, no matter how big or small. I then give this to the heroes.

Aroramage: Happy?  
Yoshi: …  
Aroramage: Well?  
Yoshi: Well, I didn't exactly expect a backpack.  
Aroramage: Would you rather have a talking suitcase?  
Mario: *remembers Stuffwell* Nope! We're good!

Anyways, the heroes walk up to a nearby crowd of penguins, who are all currently talking to others in the same group eagerly, desperately, and fearfully.

Penguin 1: This is terrible! Just simply terrible!  
Penguin 2: What do we do? Who will help us?  
Penguin 3: Well, on the bright side, I managed to save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico!  
Crowd: *glare*  
Penguin 3: What?  
Penguin 4: You chose a gecko over me? How dare you!  
Yoshi: Hey! Wassup?

The crowd looks at the party, confused.

Penguin 1: When did you get here?  
Penguin 2: How long have you been here?  
Penguin 3: Do you guys still have All-State?  
Penguin 4: WHY YOU-!

Penguins 3 & 4 start fighting, but we'll ignore them for now.

Yoshi: We got here a minute ago. What's going on? What's all the hype about?  
Penguin 5: You kids obviously haven't been around very long, unless you're agents working for the King.  
Mario: The who?  
Penguin 1: OH-MY-GRAMBI IT'S MARIO!  
Mario: Please, please, don't make a fuss! I'm just plain Yogurt! …I mean, Mario!  
Yoshi: Who's the King?  
Penguin 5: Some icy dude that thought he'd come in and build some giant castle! I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!  
Yoshi: ….right, anyway, where is it?  
Penguin 5: Well, where do you think? On the mountain top!

The party looks up and sees the giant ice castle at the top of the mountain. It was big. Really big. More like enormous. No, more like gigantic. No, in fact, it was EPIC big!

Yoshi: That's big.

EPIC big!

Yoshi: How're we supposed to get up there? In fact, I don't see much benefit in us going up there.  
Penguin 2: I think the King's servants took some shiny objects up there a while ago.  
Yoshi: Cha-ching!  
Waluigi: Money?  
Penguin 2: No, more like stars or something.  
Yoshi: Cha-ching!  
Waluigi: Cut that out! If it ain't money, then there's no need for cha-ching!  
Yoshi: …cha-ching!  
Waluigi: Gah!  
DK: You know, with my apish powers, I could probably scale the mountain easily!  
CC: That will work for now.  
Mario: Let's do it!

All of the heroes, with the exception of DK, climbed into the backpack, which DK then slipped onto his back.

DK: I think Banjo & Kazooie are gonna sue somebody.

DK then began to scale the icy cliff of Cool, Cool Mountain.

Meanwhile, in the throne room of the mighty ice castle fortress….

A shadowy figure sits upon his throne. He is gazing into a crystal ball, and inside it, he sees DK climbing the ice cliff.

?: I will not tolerate this infiltration of my castle! Brigade, assemble!

Mysterious figures appear instantly.

?: Your Majesty?  
King: I want you to rid me of these intruders upon their entrance.  
?: As you wish.

The figures disappear into the darkness….

DK finally reaches the castle door. He charges up his fist and punches the door in.

?: Welcome, intruders.

The rest of the party exits the backpack.

Yoshi: Who are you guys?  
Waluigi: Wait a minute, they look familiar….as if I've seen them in a commercial on TV or something.  
Yoshi: …..oh Grambi….

The figures are revealed.

?: We are THE BREAKFAST BRIGADE!

Included in this nutritious part of a healthy breakfast is:

Snap, Crackle, and Pop from Rice Krispies  
Lucky from Lucky Charms  
Toucan Sam and his three nephews from Froot Loops  
Trix Rabbit from Trix  
Chip the Wolf from Cookie Crisp  
Buzz from Honey Nut Cheerios  
Sonny from Cocoa Puffs  
Tony the Tiger from Frosted Flakes

Snap: Oh SNAP!  
Tony: We've got intruders! Time to earn our stripes!  
Toucan Sam: Attack!  
Yoshi: ….you have GOT to be ****ing ****ing me….

BATTLE #1 START!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 30 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
DK: 35 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 25 HP, 25 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Snap: 25 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 25 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 25 HP, 25 SP  
Lucky: 20 HP, 35 SP  
Toucan Sam: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Puey: 15 HP, 10 SP  
Susey: 15 HP, 10 SP  
Louis: 15 HP, 10 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Chip the Wolf: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Buzz: 20 HP, 25 SP  
Sonny: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Tony the Tiger: 35 HP, 10 SP

Yoshi: *looks at the stats* Okay, you've REALLY got to be ****ing me. Seriously, we have to fight all of these guys at the same time?  
Aroramage: Epic battles are usually achieved in great quantities….and the fans will love you if you can defeat their favorite breakfast cereal's mascot.  
Yoshi:…works for me!

Yoshi is charging the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos! CC slashes at Puey, Susey, and Louis for 5 dge each! Waluigi brought out a random tennis racket!

Waluigi: And people wonder if _I_ play tennis or not! TAKE THIS!

Waluigi, for 2 SP, violently whacks Chip the Wolf for 15 dge!

Chip: *whimpers* I haven't even attacked yet. *growls* NOW I'M ANGRY!

Chip furiously builds a giant wooden…cookie. (wtf?)

Chip: I WANT MY COOOOOKIE CRISP!

DK throws a banana peel on the ground! Mario, for 3 SP, throws a Fireball at Chip's cookie. The cookie turns to ash.

Chip: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Chip violently retaliates! He slashes at Mario with great force! Mario takes 24 dge!

Mario: Ouch!  
Chip: I WANT MY COOOOOOKIE CRISP!  
Mario: *glare*

Mario punches Chip in the face! But he's already gone! What the hell does a turn-based system do if people are gonna stop obeying it?

Mario: He made me angry…you won't like me when I'm angry…

Yeah, but you sure as hell ain't Bruce Banner, now stop it!

Mario: But I still beat Chip, right?

….sure, why not…

Chip: WHAT? DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS?

*glare*

Chip: o_o

I, using my author-itative power, hereby blow Chip off the ground sky-high. He does so.

Chip: *as he is flying through the air* I'll be back for that coooookie cri-

Chip then smashes against an ice wall, losing his remaining HP and KO'ing him in the process. ^_^

Snap: Oh, SNAP!  
Crackle: Let's crack-le!  
Pop: Pop-ping time!

Snap, Crackle, and Pop, using 3 SP each, summon up a Rice Krispie Storm, which rains cereal down upon the heroes! Mario, fortunately, ducks for cover and avoids damage while the others take 2+2+1+2+1+2+1+1+2 dge!

Yoshi:…

…which is 14 dge each! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Blue Moon Charm to turn himself invisible for 3 turns! Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis throw Froot Loops at the heroes! Mario eats the Froot Loops and gains 3 HP! The other heroes also eat the Froot Loops and gain 3 HP!

Trix Rabbit: Do you have Trix? Please tell me you have Trix! Do you have Trix? I really want some Trix now! Could someone give me some Trix?

The Trix Rabbit is paranoid and doesn't attack! Buzz uses his Honey Wand and throws a Honey Comb at DK! DK takes 4 dge! Sonny pecks at DK for 3 dge! Tony brings out a bowl of Frosted Flakes!

Tony: Time to earn my stripes!

Tony eats the bowl of Frosted Flakes! He suddenly grows more powerful! He has earned his stripes!

Tony: They're grrreat!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 20 HP, 15 SP (charging)  
CC: 14 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 14 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 17 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 4 HP, 22 SP (DANGER!)

The Breakfast Brigade  
Snap: 25 HP, 22 SP  
Crackle: 25 HP, 22 SP  
Pop: 25 HP, 22 SP  
Lucky: 20 HP, 32 SP (invisible)  
Toucan Sam: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Puey: 10 HP, 10 SP  
Susey: 10 HP, 10 SP  
Louis: 10 HP, 10 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 25 HP, 10 SP (paranoid)  
Buzz: 20 HP, 25 SP  
Sonny: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Tony the Tiger: 35 HP, 10 SP (powered-up)

Yoshi continues to charge! CC, using 5 SP, slices Snap, Crackle, and Pop with tremendous speed and force, with each taking 13 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at Buzz, causing him to take 10 dge! DK charges his fist! Mario eats the Rice Krispies on the ground left over by the Rice Krispie Storm, recovering 12 HP!

Snap: Oh. SNAP!  
Crackle: He ate it off the ground!  
Pop: POP-ping time!

Snap, Crackle, and Pop, using up 4 SP each, combine several Rice Krispies together and form: a giant Rice Krispie treat! Lucky is invisible and doesn't attack, but he does take a bite of the giant Rice Krispie treat!

Toucan Sam: Alright, time to bring out the big one.  
Puey: The big one?  
Susey: Do you mean-?  
Louis: Is it that time already?  
Toucan Sam: Yes. Bring out the FROOT LOOPS CANNON!

Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis run off-screen to get the cannon!

Trix Rabbit: DO YOU HAVE TRIX? GIVE ME YOUR TRIX! I MUST HAVE THE TRIX! ALL YOUR TRIX ARE BELONG TO ME!

The Trix Rabbit is going insane! In 2 turns, he'll be completely insane! Buzz uses up 2 SP for Honey Restore! He uses his Honey Wand on himself and recovers 10 HP! Sonny pecks at DK for 3 dge! Tony punches Yoshi for 7 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 13 HP, 15 SP (charging)  
CC: 14 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 14 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 14 HP, 25 SP (charged!)  
Mario: 16 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Snap: 12 HP, 18 SP  
Crackle: 12 HP, 18 SP  
Pop: 12 HP, 18 SP  
Lucky: 20 HP, 32 SP (invisible for 2 more turns!)  
Toucan Sam: 25 HP, 15 SP (off-screen)  
Puey: 10 HP, 10 SP (off-screen)  
Susey: 10 HP, 10 SP (off-screen)  
Louis: 10 HP, 10 SP (off-screen)  
Trix Rabbit: 25 HP, 10 SP (really paranoid)  
Buzz: 20 HP, 23 SP  
Sonny: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Tony the Tiger: 35 HP, 10 SP (powered-up)

Yoshi: I'M-A FIRING MA LAZAR!

Yoshi blasts the Breakfast Brigade with the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos! Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, Louis, and Lucky all avoid the attack! Everyone else takes 13 dge!

Snap: Oh, SNAP!  
Crackle: We've been crack-led!  
Pop: And pop-ped!

Snap, Crackle, and Pop are defeated and go blasting off into the sky!

Snap, Crackle, & Pop: Team Krispies is blasting off again! *twinkle*

CC slashes at Buzz for 6 dge! Waluigi…spies something.

Waluigi: What's that over there?

Everyone turns to see it is a box of Cocoa Puffs. Sonny's eyes widen.

Sonny:…oh sh*t…

DK uses his charged-up punch on Tony, after paying 3 SP! Tony takes 14 dge! Mario uses 3 SP to throw a Fireball at Buzz! Buzz is KO'ed and sent blasting off into the sky!

Buzz: Honey Nut Cheerios is part of this balanced breakfast! *twinkle*  
Yoshi: …well that was lame…

Lucky is still invisible! Toucan Sam and the nephews are back on-screen…but with a really big cannon!

Toucan Sam: Say hello to our little friend!

Toucan Sam & the nephews fire the Froot Loops Cannon! The heroes are pelted with Froot Loops, taking 5 dge each!

Trix Rabbit: GIVE ME THE TRIX! GIVE ME THE TRIX! I MUST HAVE THE TRIX!

The Trix Rabbit is going bonkers! He'll be completely insane within the next turn! Sonny is…shaking…ah, crap…

Sonny: I'm…I'm…I'm…I'M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS! CUCKOO 4 COCOA PUFFS!

Sonny has lost it before the Trix Rabbit lost it! Not that you didn't see it coming! Sonny is now insane! Tony punches DK for 7 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 8 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 9 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 9 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 2 HP, 22 SP (DANGER!)  
Mario: 11 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 32 SP (invisible for 1 more turn!)  
Toucan Sam: 25 HP, 15 SP (part of the cannon)  
Puey: 10 HP, 10 SP (part of the cannon)  
Susey: 10 HP, 10 SP (part of the cannon)  
Louis: 10 HP, 10 SP (part of the cannon)  
Froot Loops Cannon: 45 HP, 0 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 12 HP, 10 SP (Extremely paranoid!)  
Sonny: 12 HP, 15 SP (INSANE!)  
Tony the Tiger: 7 HP, 10 SP (powered-up)

Yoshi steals the giant Rice Krispie treat!

Yoshi: Eat it before they do!

The heroes eat the entire Rice Krispie treat! They all gain 17 HP! Lucky is no longer invisible! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Horseshoe Charm to increase his speed greatly! Toucan Sam & the nephews fire the Froot Loops Cannon!

Trix Rabbit: TRIX!

The Trix Rabbit eats all of the Froot Loops used in the attack! Only after the attack is over does he realize it isn't Trix!

Trix Rabbit: …ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA ****ING KILL SOME ****ING ******* IF I DON'T ****ING GET MY ****ING TRIX!

The Trix Rabbit is furiously insane! Sonny pairs up with him in their insanity! Tony punches Mario for 7 dge! Tony is no longer powered-up!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 29 SP (speedy!)  
Toucan Sam: 25 HP, 15 SP (part of the cannon)  
Puey: 10 HP, 10 SP (part of the cannon)  
Susey: 10 HP, 10 SP (part of the cannon)  
Louis: 10 HP, 10 SP (part of the cannon)  
Froot Loops Cannon: 45 HP, 0 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 12 HP, 10 SP (FURIOUSLY INSANE!)  
Sonny: 12 HP, 15 SP (INSANE!)  
Tony the Tiger: 7 HP, 10 SP

Yoshi fires a fireball from the GFC at the Froot Loops Cannon! It is made of wood and is weak against the flame! It takes 45 dge, destroying it! Toucan Sam and the nephews each take 10 dge! The nephews are blown away!

Puey: Uncle Sam!  
Susey: We love you!  
Louis: But you're not American!  
Toucan Sam: The hell I ain't! In America!

Toucan Sam is burned! CC slashes at Tony for 7 dge! Tony is KO'ed!

Tony: That was grrrreat!

Tony is blown away! Waluigi tries to whack Lucky, but Lucky is too fast! DK punches the Trix Rabbit for 7 dge!

Trix Rabbit: *glare* THAT WASN'T ****ING TRIX, YOU ****ING BASTARD! I'M GONNA **** YOUR ******* **** AND (censored) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) AND THEN I'LL (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) AND (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) THEN I'LL (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) UNTIL (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) SO THAT YOU'LL HAVE TO (bleep) SIDEWAYS! (pause) (bleep)!  
Yoshi: o_o Well that was scarring for life…

Mario uses 3 SP to throw a Fireball at the Trix Rabbit, KO'ing him for 7 dge!

Trix Rabbit: I'LL BE BACK FOR MY TRIX!

The Trix Rabbit is blown away! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Pot of Gold charm to illuminate the field, blinding the heroes! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Red Balloon charm to float off the ground! Toucan Sam is blinded by the light and punches himself for 7 dge! Toucan Sam's burn hurts him for 3 dge! Sonny's insanity and blindness due to the light causes him to whack Toucan Sam by mistake! Toucan Sam is KO'ed!

Toucan Sam: Follow my nose! It always knows,  
The flavor of fruit, wherever it grows!

Toucan Sam is blown away!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade*  
Lucky: 20 HP, 23 SP (speedy!) (floating!)*  
Sonny: 12 HP, 15 SP (INSANE!)

*All are blinded except for Lucky!*

Yoshi is blinded! He attacks CC for 3 dge! CC is blinded! He attacks Sonny for 3 dge! Waluigi is blinded! He attacks CC for 3 dge! DK is blinded! He attacks CC for 6 dge! Mario is blinded! He attacks-

CC: If you say he attacks me again, you're dead!  
Aroramage: Oh, come on, you don't mean that!  
CC: You know your feelings towards Yoshi when he acts like an idiot?  
Aroramage: Yeah, so?  
CC: *glare*  
Aroramage:o_o

He attacks Sonny for 3 dge! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover charm to increase his luck! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Shooting Star charm to increase his SP by 10! Sonny runs around, trips, falls, and lies flat on his face taking 3 dge!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 13 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade*  
Lucky: 20 HP, 27 SP (speedy!) (floating!) (lucky!)*  
Sonny: 3 HP, 15 SP (INSANE!) (DANGER!)

*All are blinded except for Lucky!*

Yoshi is blinded! He hits Sonny for 3 dge!

Sonny: I'm CUCKOO 4 COCOA PUFFS!

Sonny is blown away! CC is blinded! Waluigi is blinded! DK is blinded! Mario is blinded! None of them make a move!

Lucky: Hahahahahahahaha! I knew I was the strongest out of all of them! And I've proven it! With my Marshmallow Power, I'm unstoppable!

Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Heart charm to gain HP-restoring powers! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Hidden Key charm to unlock a new power! He gained the Magic Mirror Charm!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 13 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 21 SP (speedy!) (floating!) (lucky!) (recovery!)

*All are blinded!*

The heroes don't move until their vision is restored! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Magic Mirror charm to create a reflective barrier around him! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Hidden Key charm to unlock a new power!

?: Lucky! Lucky!

Suddenly, the Emerald Elder appears!

EE: Here's a new charm of great power!  
Lucky: Thanks!

Lucky gained the Hourglass charm! Lucky has now lost his lucky, floating, & speedy statuses!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 13 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 15 SP (recovery!) (reflect-barrier!)

Yoshi: CHARGE!

The heroes attack Lucky! But the reflect-barrier stops their attacks!

Lucky: Now to unlock the power of my newest, and perhaps greatest charm of all!

Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Hourglass charm! Suddenly, Lucky controls time!

Lucky: I say we go back a ways, eh? Hourglass power, go!

Lucky used the Hourglass charm and warped the heroes and himself back in time!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade*  
Lucky: 20 HP, 23 SP (speedy!) (floating!)*  
Sonny: 12 HP, 15 SP (INSANE!)

*All are blinded except for Lucky!*

Yoshi: ACK! What happened? We're blinded again!  
CC: I think he warped us back in time, that villain!  
Waluigi: This sucks!  
DK: Just do what you did last time!  
Mario: But then he'll do it again! GET THAT LEPRECAUN!  
Yoshi:…but he's floating.  
Mario: Not for long, he ain't!

Mario brought out a feather!

DK: Where do you get these things?  
Waluigi: And where are you keeping them?  
Mario: First, internet. Second, not telling.

Mario uses the feather and gains flight! He attacks Lucky with a Fireball for 3 SP!

Lucky: What? The course of time has changed!

Suddenly, a burst of energy occurs!

Yoshi: What's going on?  
Lucky: We disrupted the space-time continuum, and now we're getting sucked back into the future!  
Yoshi: I thought you could use the power to control time WITHOUT this happening!  
Lucky: Only as long as the course of time doesn't change too much!  
Yoshi: And that was too much?  
Lucky: Yes! The outcome would be entirely different!

A wormhole opens up and sucks up the heroes and Lucky! Sonny ain't apart of this!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 13 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 15 SP (recovery!) (reflect-barrier!)

Yoshi: Hey, we're back to normal time!  
Lucky: That old guy should have told me that would happen!  
?: It's crunchin' time!

Suddenly, Captain Crunch, Count Chocula, and the Kelloggs Rooster from those Kelloggs Corn Flakes that no one eats appeared!

Capt: We heard! We're here to battle too!  
Lucky: Uh, thanks, but I was doing just fine!  
Chocula: Yeah, right! Let us help!  
KR: Cock-a-doodle-DOOM!  
Yoshi: O_O

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 13 HP, 10 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 19 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 18 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 15 SP (recovery!) (reflect-barrier!)  
Capt. Crunch: 25 HP, 20 SP  
Count Chocula: 25 HP, 15 SP  
Kelloggs Rooster: 15 HP, 5 SP

Yoshi attacks Capt. Crunch for 4 dge! CC slashes at Chocula for 6 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb! Lucky's reflect-barrier deflects the attack! Chocula, Capt. Crunch, and the Rooster take 5 dge! DK punches the Captain for 9 dge! Mario punches the Rooster for 8 dge!

Capt. Captain: Crunchitizing time!

Lucky throws Clovers like shuriken at the heroes! All heroes receive 3 dge! Capt. Crunch summons his ship! He blasts the Cruncher Cannon at the heroes! All heroes receive 7 dge! Count Chocula turns into a chocolate bat! He attacks Waluigi for 4 chocolatey dge!

Waluigi: …that's just plain wrong…

The Rooster throws Corn Flakes at the heroes! They all take 1 dge!

Lucky: Blimey, you suck!  
Rooster: *glare*

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 14 HP, 15 SP  
CC: 2 HP, 10 SP (DANGER!)  
Waluigi: 10 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 8 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 7 HP, 22 SP

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 15 SP (recovery!) (reflect-barrier!)  
Capt. Crunch: 7 HP, 20 SP (on his ship!)  
Cruncitizer Ship: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Count Chocula: 14 HP, 15 SP (bat-form)  
Kelloggs Rooster: 2 HP, 5 SP (DANGER!)

(Feel free to have started playing the Mini Boss theme from Super Paper Mario at anytime during the battle segment of this chapter or any chapter, really)

Yoshi uses his GFC in a different manner! He fires a barrage of Fireballs for 3 SP at the opponents! Lucky's shield deflects the attack! The Crunchitizer Ship is made of wood and burns away! Count Chocula and the Rooster each take 15 damage from the assault!

Chocula: Ouch, I'm melting!  
Rooster: *glare*

Both are sent flying from the area! CC attacks Capt. Crunch for 4 dge! Waluigi punches him for 3 dge!

Capt. Crunch: I'll crunchitize you, yet!

Capt. Crunch is sent flying! DK charges his fist up! Mario charges up a fireball! Lucky throws Clovers! The heroes receive 3 dge! CC is KO'd!

CC: NO! MY FIRST ACTUAL DEFEAT!  
Yoshi: A-hem!  
CC:…while on the team! *faints*

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 11 HP, 15 SP  
Waluigi: 7 HP, 13 SP  
DK: 5 HP, 22 SP (danger!)  
Mario: 4 HP, 22 SP (DANGER!)

The Breakfast Brigade  
Lucky: 20 HP, 15 SP (recovery!) (reflect-barrier!)

Yoshi: Now, let's try this again! CHARGE!

The heroes charge at Lucky! DK punches at the shield!

Lucky: It's no use! My shield reflects all attacks! It's impervious to anything! ANY-

The shield is shattered!

Lucky: …oh crap…

The heroes charge and defeat Lucky!

BATTLE #1 END!

Lucky is sent flying!

Lucky: *while flying* You'll never get me Lucky Charms! *is gone*  
Yoshi: Well, that was challenging.  
Waluigi: Surprisingly!  
CC: Ouch…  
Mario: Here-a, have a mushroom.  
CC: Thanks.  
DK: I guess we go to the King now.  
Yoshi: Yes! Onward to the King!

Meanwhile, in a very distant place…

…..

…..

…."hm?"

"Hello?"

Luigi wakes up inside his cell. It has stone walls, where a hallway goes by the cell door. A single torch is all the light there is, and it's across from the cell. Luigi is sitting up on the chained drop-down bench.

Luigi: Where am I?

Suddenly, the torch goes out.

Luigi: Ohh!

A shadowy silhouette appears. The lock clicks off and the creaky door opens. The shadowy figure enters the cell and closes the door. Luigi is panicking! The flame of the torch mysteriously lights up again, but in front of the flame is a black, charred hand, and connected to it, the body.

?: Hello, Luigi.  
Luigi: Wha-wha-what d-d-d-do you w-w-want?  
?: Something from you, actually, but I think you know that as well as I do.  
Luigi: What are you t-t-t-talking about?  
?: Quite simply, I want you.  
Luigi: O_O  
?: Well, part of you at least. I want your darkness. Your fears, your hate. I want the side of you so negative. I want your darkness!  
Luigi: I d-d-d-don't have any to sp-sp-spare!  
?: That's fine. I have my methods.

? reaches out to Luigi.

Luigi: Back off!

Luigi pushes ?'s hand aside and throws a punch. ? catches it with his other hand. Suddenly, dark energy runs down Luigi's arm and shocks him. He howls with pain as his darkness is extracted. Finally, after a minute or so, ? lets go of Luigi who falls unconscious to the ground. ? holds his fist up, then slowly opens it to reveal a dark purple sphere of energy.

?: Now let's see what form it takes.

? throws the energy into a dark corner. The energy starts to shift and form the shape of someone. Finally, the figure stands tall.

?: Why, Luigi, look! It is you! Only different.

Luigi wakes up and slowly rises. He turns to the figure in the corner and jumps back in alarm.

?: I needed a new minion, and after I looked into your past, I knew your darkness would be perfect!

The new figure steps out of the shadows.

Luigi: No…that can't be! I thought you were gone!  
?2: Oh, Luigi, I am never gone. I've always been apart of you, whether you liked it or not. And now, he has freed me! Thanks for being a good vessel!

?2 reveals himself! ?2 is…Mr. L!

?: Come along now, Mr. L! It's time to get rid of some pests!  
Mr. L: No problem.

? & Mr. L laugh evilly as Luigi is standing, awe-struck at what just happened…

AN: WARNING! This next scene contains absolutely no violins! I repeat! No violins!

The party finds their way to the throne room of the maze-like castle, through all of its tricky corridors and traps, its many foes beyond the Breakfast Brigade, and the terror of many-

Yoshi: Dude, we just walked straight. Get over it.

…well, thanks for that unadventurous twist! Anyways, the heroes arrive at the throne room to find:

?: Hello, intruders.  
Yoshi: Isn't that exactly what those weird guys from all those weird cereals say when we first entered?  
?: No, they said "Welcome, intruders." I said, "Hello, intruders."  
Yoshi: Huh, well what do you know? A single word difference.  
?: Yet a world of pain to be awaited! Prepare to be chilled into my newest ice statues! For I am-

? steps out of the dark side of the room.

?: BM/Crystal King/MSM1!  
Yoshi: Oh shit! It's BM/Crystal King/MSM1!

….

Yoshi:…wait, who's BM/Crystal King/MSM1?  
Aroramage: A user.  
Yoshi: A what?  
Aroramage: A user, from the forum I mentioned before.  
Yoshi: When was this?  
Mario: When was this?  
Aroramage: Chapter 2 or something like that.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Sup, aroramage?  
Aroramage: Not much.  
Mario: Wait, so we have to face a user? With powers we've never seen?  
Aroramage: Yep.  
Yoshi: But, why?  
Aroramage: Because he asked me, and I let him.  
Yoshi: But, why?  
Aroramage: Because he's a fan.  
Yoshi: But, why?  
Aroramage: Cause I'm a freakin' good writer!

*pause*

Yoshi: But, why?  
Aroramage: …just start fighting already.  
Yoshi: But-  
Aroramage: DO IT!

BATTLE 2 START!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 35 HP, 25 SP  
CC: 30 HP, 20 SP  
Waluigi: 30 HP, 20 SP  
DK: 40 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 30 HP, 25 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1000 HP, 100 SP

Yoshi starts charging the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos! CC slashes at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 6 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 12 dge! DK charges his fist! Mario punches BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 7 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 uses Ice Blast for 3 SP! He blasts ice at Yoshi! But the GFC's heat melts the ice!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 35 HP, 25 SP (charging!)  
CC: 30 HP, 20 SP  
Waluigi: 30 HP, 20 SP  
DK: 40 HP, 25 SP (charging!)  
Mario: 30 HP, 25 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 975 HP, 97 SP

Yoshi is still charging! CC uses Crimson Slash for 3 SP! His blade gains a crimson aura and he slashes BM/Crystal King/MSM1 with it for 16 dge! Waluigi brings out his racket and uses up 2 SP to violently whack BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 17 dge! DK punches BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for CRITICAL 27 dge! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 15 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 uses Blizzard for 4 SP! The icy wind causes the heroes to take 7 dge each! CC is frozen! Waluigi is frozen!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 28 HP, 25 SP (charging!)  
CC: 23 HP, 17 SP (frozen!)  
Waluigi: 23 HP, 18 SP (frozen!)  
DK: 33 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 23 HP, 22 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 900 HP, 93 SP

Yoshi fires the GFC at BM/Crystal King/MSM1! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes CRITICAL 47 dge! CC is frozen! Waluigi is frozen! DK punches BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 13 dge! Mario uses Frozen Cure for 1 SP! He heats up his hands and thaws CC and Waluigi out of their frozen state! CC & Waluigi are no longer frozen! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 uses Avalanche for 5 SP! The heroes are all hit for 15 dge! All heroes are frozen!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 13 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
CC: 8 HP, 17 SP (frozen!)  
Waluigi: 8 HP, 18 SP (frozen!)  
DK: 18 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
Mario: 8 HP, 21 SP (frozen!)

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 840 HP, 88 SP

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Hahahahahahaha! With you intruders frozen and unable to make a move, I'll surely bring you down on this next turn!  
?: What's that? I thought I heard some weakling utter a noise. Heh heh heh.

Out of nowhere, Mr. L appears on the scene! (Cue the Mr. L theme!) Mr. L strikes his signature pose!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Hey! I know you! You're Mr. L!  
Mr. L: Well, my reputation precedes me. Heh.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Oh please, you're just really Luigi brainwashed by Count Bleck or some other evil character and have taken this form simply because you're brainwashed and evil!  
Mr. L: Luigi? That green welp? Please, I know sandwiches more terrifying than that green guy! No, I am no longer apart of that weak fool's being! I am now my own separate entity who is at the beck and call of my new Master!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Who's your master?  
Mr. L: The Green Thunder, Mr. L, does not tell weaklings the name of his Master!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Dang it.

Mr. L walks over to the frozen heroes.

Mr. L: Well, well, what a surprise! These must be the heroes my Master warned me about! Let's see…we have a dinosaur, an ape, a rabbit, a crazed alter-ego, and…ah-HA! It is my old rival! I'd recognize that trendy red-shirt-blue-overalls combo anywhere!

Mr. L turns back to BM/Crystal King/MSM1.

Mr. L: So you decided to freeze them and wait for my arrival so that I could trounce you and steal your Power Stars, eh?  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Wait, what?  
Mr. L: Not bad, kid. You've done my dirty work for me. Heh.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Well, we're still in the midst of a fight.  
Mr. L: Forget about these losers, kid. You're fighting me now. Brobot launch!

The Brobot appears out of nowhere. It has the same head, hands, and feet as L-Type, but now it has arms, legs, and a torso, thus making the newer Brobot much larger than before, kinda like a Transformer or one of those Power Ranger robots or something.

Mr. L: Well, kid, what do you think? This is my great partner-in-crime: Brobot! Now upgraded to Brobot LX!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Nice!  
Mr. L: And you get to be the first victim on my hit list!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Say what?

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 13 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
CC: 8 HP, 17 SP (frozen!)  
Waluigi: 8 HP, 18 SP (frozen!)  
DK: 18 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
Mario: 8 HP, 21 SP (frozen!)

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 150 HP, 35 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 840 HP, 88 SP

(start the Brobot L-Type music!)

The heroes are frozen and can't move! Brobot LX uses Rocket Punch! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes 25 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 brings out his Sword! He slashes at Brobot LX! Brobot LX takes 2 dge!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: O_O  
Mr. L: Heh heh heh. Like the defensive power of my upgrade? It's significantly higher than before. Have at you!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 13 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
CC: 8 HP, 17 SP (frozen!)  
Waluigi: 8 HP, 18 SP (frozen!)  
DK: 18 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
Mario: 8 HP, 21 SP (frozen!)

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 148 HP, 35 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 815 HP, 88 SP

The heroes are still frozen! Brobot LX uses Hyper Beam for 5 SP! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes 29 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 upgrades his Sword to a Super Sword and attacks! Brobot LX takes 2+2+1+2+1 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 13 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
CC: 8 HP, 17 SP (frozen!)  
Waluigi: 8 HP, 18 SP (frozen!)  
DK: 18 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
Mario: 8 HP, 21 SP (frozen!)

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 140 HP, 30 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 786 HP, 88 SP

The heroes are frozen, still! Brobot LX opens its mouth and sucks BM/Crystal King/MSM1 into it! Brobot LX chews on BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 5+4+7+6+4 dge and spits him out for 5 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 upgrades his Super Sword to a Hyper Sword and attacks! Brobot LX takes 4+3+4+3+2+3+4 dge! Mario is the first to thaw out!

Mario: *sees Mr. L & Brobot LX* Mama-mia!  
Mr. L: Ah, my old rival, I see you're awake! What do you think of my new Brobot?  
Mario: Luigi! Why are you always brainwashed and turned into Mr. L?  
Mr. L: As I've explained to BM/Crystal King/MSM1 over here a minute ago, I am no longer apart of Luigi! I'm a separate entity no longer bound to his body! I am the master of my own destiny now!  
Mario: So, you're not Luigi?  
Mr. L: No I am not!  
Mario: Then who are you behind that mask?  
Mr. L: I am Mr. L!  
Mario: …

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 13 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
CC: 8 HP, 17 SP (frozen!)  
Waluigi: 8 HP, 18 SP (frozen!)  
DK: 18 HP, 25 SP (frozen!)  
Mario: 8 HP, 21 SP

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 117 HP, 30 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 755 HP, 88 SP

Mario uses Frozen Cure for 1 SP! He unfreezes the other heroes!

Yoshi: Ugh, what happened?  
Mario: Okay, I don't know how to tell you guys this, so I'll just say.  
CC: What is it?  
Mario: Mr. L is fighting in that giant robot against BM/Crystal King/MSM1 right now!  
Waluigi: Oh snap!  
Mr. L: It's my newest, latest, and greatest Brobot ever! Brobot LX!  
DK: I thought he was Luigi.  
Mario: Well, they're no longer the same guy anymore.  
Yoshi: Great…

Brobot LX uses Stache-a-rang! It throws its mustache at all targets for 12 dge! CC, Waluigi, and Mario dodge the attack! BM/Crystal King/MSM1, Yoshi, and DK take 12 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 upgrades his Hyper Sword to an Ultimate Sword and attacks! Brobot LX takes 5+6+5+6+7+6+5+6+5+6+5+7+6+5 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 1 HP, 25 SP (DANGER!)  
CC: 8 HP, 17 SP  
Waluigi: 8 HP, 18 SP  
DK: 5 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 8 HP, 20 SP

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 37 HP, 30 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 743 HP, 88 SP

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: You seem to be losing your touch, Mr. L!  
Mr. L: Hardly! My Brobot LX is strong for a reason, and you may be tougher now but you won't last much longer!  
Yoshi: Uh, hello! We're still here!  
Mr. L: …and I'll take care of you later!

Yoshi fires the GFC at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 13 dge! CC slashes at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 17 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 22 dge! DK uses Banana Grove for 3 SP! He brings out tons of bananas and gives them to the team! Yoshi recovered 30 HP! CC recovers 22 HP! Waluigi recovers 22 HP! DK recovers 30 HP! Mario recovers 22 HP! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 23 dge! Brobot LX uses Self-Repair for 3 SP! Brobot LX fixes itself and recovers 72 HP! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 brings out Elemental Sword! Element is Ice! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 uses Ice Sword on Brobot LX! Brobot LX takes 8 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 31 HP, 25 SP  
CC: 30 HP, 17 SP  
Waluigi: 30 HP, 18 SP  
DK: 35 HP, 22 SP  
Mario: 30 HP, 17 SP

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 101 HP, 27 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 668 HP, 88 SP

Yoshi charges the GFC! CC uses Crimson Slash for 3 SP! He slashes BM/Crystal King/MSM1 with a crimson blade! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes CRITICAL 17 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at Brobot LX! Brobot LX deflects the Bob-omb and it explodes on BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 23 dge!

Mr. L: Heh heh heh. Brobot LX has conquered the weakness of Brobot L-Type and has learned to deflect explosive objects!

DK uses Barrel Blast for 5 SP! He brings out numerous Barrel Cannons and fires them at BM/Crystal King/MSM1! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes 17+15+19+11+13+22 dge! DK is tired and cannot attack next turn! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes 17 dge! Brobot LX uses Flamethrower! It faces it palms at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 and holes open up in the center of the palms! Flames emerge from the palms! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes CRITICAL 55+45 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 uses Royal Jelly for 3 SP! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 recovers 47 HP and increases his defense!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 31 HP, 25 SP (charging!)  
CC: 30 HP, 14 SP  
Waluigi: 30 HP, 18 SP  
DK: 35 HP, 17 SP (tired! Can't attack!)  
Mario: 30 HP, 14 SP

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 101 HP, 27 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 461 HP, 85 SP (defense-increase!)

Yoshi is still charging! CC slashes BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 12 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 16 dge! DK can't attack! Mario punches BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 11 dge! Brobot LX uses Missile Barrage for 4 SP! Various missile doors open along Brobot LX's body and missiles come out, targeting BM/Crystal King/MSM1! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 takes 15+16+14+15+14+16+15+17+13+19 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 swipes at Brobot LX with his Ultimate Sword for 11+13 dge! DK recovers from his tiredness!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 31 HP, 25 SP (charging!)  
CC: 30 HP, 14 SP  
Waluigi: 30 HP, 18 SP  
DK: 35 HP, 17 SP  
Mario: 30 HP, 14 SP

Mr. L & Brobot  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 35 SP (inside Brobot LX!)  
Brobot LX: 77 HP, 23 SP

The King  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 268 HP, 85 SP (defense-increase!)

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Geez, I'm so much stronger than this!  
Mr. L: Really? Maybe you need a break. Just hand me the Power Stars and I'll give you a minute for each one you hand over.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: The Power Stars…of course!  
Mr. L: Don't even think about it!

Brobot LX grabs BM/Crystal King/MSM1!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Wait! But it's not even your attack!  
Mr. L: I'm a bad guy. I don't play fair!

….

….

? is watching Mr. L and the others through his crystal ball.

?: Ah, Mr. L, you're doing wonderfully well. Unfortunately, I'll have to intervene in this affair, as you are taking much too slow.

? fires lightning into the crystal ball, which absorbs the blast!

?: Looks like it's Game Over for BM/Crystal King/MSM1!

…

?: Grambi, that's a long name.

…

….

Meanwhile at the battle…

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Unhand me this instant!  
Mr. L: Not until I get my Power Stars!  
Yoshi: I've got a bad feeling about this.  
Mario: What do you mean?

Suddenly, lightning comes out of nowhere and electrocutes BM/Crystal King/MSM1!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1 is KO'd! The Power Stars he was carrying scatter!

Mr. L: Ah, perfect timing for a lightning storm!

Brobot LX grabs 3 Power Stars!

Yoshi: Quick! Get the rest!

The heroes quickly grab the other 4!

Mr. L: Unhand the Power Stars this instant!  
Yoshi: NO!  
Mr. L: Very well! You leave me with no choice! I'll-

More lightning hits the playing field!

Mr. L: …grrr, you're lucky this time, but I will get your Power Stars! Count on it!

Brobot LX takes off!

END BATTLE 2!

The heroes gather around the fallen BM/Crystal King/MSM1.

Yoshi: You alright?  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Fine, fine. I'll disappear for now, but I will return! Count on it!

With that, BM/Crystal King/MSM1 vanishes!

Yoshi: Figures.  
DK: Well, I guess we can-  
?: Hey!

The heroes turn to find Lucky standing a few feet away from them.

Lucky: You guys are hunting Power Stars?  
Yoshi: Yeah, but what's it to you?  
Lucky: Well, I've got nothing better to do, since I've been cut off with the rest of the Breakfast Brigade. May I join your team? It'll be until I meet up with them all again.  
Yoshi: Hmm, let me think about it, sure!  
Mario: Your marshmallow power should help us significantly, so I don't see why not!  
Lucky: Alright!

Lucky joined the team!

Yoshi: Besides, we'll need all the help we can get with that Mr. L around.  
Mario: Yeah, this is gonna be tough.

(Jul 8, 2008 - Jul 14, 2008)


	6. Ch 5: The Treasure of Jolly Roger Bay

Chapter 5: The Treasure of Jolly Roger Bay

When we last left off, even though you could just look at the end of the previous chapter to find that out, the group had just gained a new recruit: Lucky the Leprechaun of Lucky Charms fame (part of this nutritious breakfast). They also learned that Mr. L was now hunting the Power Stars, possibly for Bowser, or for an unknown entity whose name we still don't know. After leaving the icy mountain of Cool, Cool Mountain, the heroes arrive back in the castle and unlock yet another door. The door in question led to an aquarium with a portrait of bubbles.

Yoshi: Just a question, but who in the world paints a painting of bubbles?  
Mario: Hell if I-a know.

So, without a second's hesitation, the party-

?: Hey!

The party looks over at the newcomer, a Toad.

Toad: You the rescuers?  
Yoshi:…uh, sure?  
Toad: You guys hardly look like mice at all.  
Yoshi:…we're not THOSE rescuers.  
Toad: Well, anyway, you're trying to save us, right?  
Mario: With success.  
Toad: You know, I'm pretty scared right now.  
Yoshi: That would be your problem, not ours, but if you want us to help you faster-  
Toad: It's nice to look at the fish.

…WTF?

Toad: It's true! They're so calming and relaxing…

…

Yoshi: *whisper* Call the Psycho Police, I've got another suspect.  
Toad:…Oh, who am I kidding? I need to get out of here!...but the fish seem to think otherwise…  
Yoshi: Okay, he's been talking to fish all day, let's ditch him before he says something else, like-  
Toad: I have a Power Star.  
Yoshi: I have a Power Star…O_O

The party turn to the Toad.

Heroes: WHAT?  
Toad: Here you go.

The Toad holds up the Power Star.

Yoshi.:…you're kidding, right?  
Toad: No.  
Mario: What's the catch? Bodyguards? Mailmen? Company?  
Toad: Nope. Take it.  
Waluigi: Works for me!

Waluigi grabs the Power Star! The team gains +1 Power Star! They now have 19 Power Stars!

Yoshi: Wait, 19? When did we have 18? Or 17? Or 16, 15, 14, 13, or 12 for that matter?  
Aroramage: You guys got 7 Power Stars from BM/MSM1/Crystal King. Here!

Aroramage shows the other 7 Power Stars from the user with a long name.

Yoshi: Well, that explains that.  
Mario: Now to the bubble painting!

The heroes jump through the painting.

Yoshi: In case you ever wondered what it looked like when we warp through paintings, just imagine that there's a nice blue stream across a black space, and it's spinning, we're spinning, it's all around us, and it's all weird…

The heroes arrive at a beach next to a lake within a rocky fanged bowl.

Yoshi: A rocky fanged bowl?  
Aroramage: Go along with it!

They quickly spy a pack of Goombas.

Yoshi: Let's squish 'em!  
Waluigi: Yeah!  
Mario: Normally, I'd agree to this, but they probably know something. We should ask them of what they know, then squish 'em.  
Yoshi: …fine…

The heroes walk over to the pack of Goombas.

Goomba1: So there's this legend, right? About Jolly Roger Bay? Some ship sank to the bottom carrying this incredible treasure!  
Goomba2: Seriously? That happened?  
Goomba1: I bet if we weren't completely useless at life we'd be able to find it.  
Goomba3: Why not just call the Goomba Divers from Beanbean Kingdom?  
Goomba2: Dude! That's genius!  
Goomba1: Yeah, if we only had a communication system…and hands…and stuff…  
Goomba2: You're very emo for a Goomba. Are you sure you're not a Gloomba?  
Goomba1: Oh, sure! Make fun of my credibility! I'm telling ya, I saw a blue Goomba that was sad! It called itself a Gloomba!  
Goomba2: Really? And I haven't seen one why?  
Goomba1: Cause you're a douchebag!  
Goomba2: REALLY! IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?  
Goomba1: Bring it on!

Goomba1 & Goomba2 fight each other, beat each other, and are easily defeated by each other.

Goomba3:…Grambi, it's because of things like this that we don't survive for long, yet there are plenty of us. Grambi, where do we come from? Why do we exist? WHO MADE US THE WAY WE ARE?  
Yoshi: Yo, kid!  
Goomba3: *looks at the heroes* Do you mind? I'm feeling distinctly unfabulous!  
Yoshi: Whatever. Look, we want to know if you've got info on a shiny gold star-thing.  
Goomba3: No stars, just treasure! Perhaps we're here to be vessels of knowledge! I know! I'll be a scribe!  
Yoshi:…yeah, that's nice. Anyways, where's the treasure?  
Goomba3: Down at the bottom of the bay! In a ship! Already my mind is advancing into a higher status of thinking! I bet I could do anything! That's it! It's the hidden potential that makes the Goomba different from everything else! I WILL UNLOCK MY POTENTIAL!  
Lucky:…what's with the little fella?  
Yoshi: Beats me. Anyways, see ya!  
Goomba3: Wait one minute!  
Heroes: *freeze*  
Goomba3: I know just who you guys are!  
Mario: How long did it take you to figure that out?  
Goomba3: You're my calling!  
Heroes: WHAT?  
Goomba3: Yes! Yes! I need a traveling group to be with! I need to truly explore the world! I! MUST! BE! A! POTENTIAL! FORCE!  
Yoshi:…he's lost it.  
CC: Entirely.  
Goomba3: Let me join your group!

The heroes look at each other, then at Goomba3, then at each other again.

Yoshi: Guys! Huddle up!

The heroes get into a circular formation.

Yoshi: Well, I don't think we should.  
CC: Me neither.  
Waluigi: He's worthless.  
Mario: Well, he did just have an intuitive insight.  
DK: I sure hope this is our decision and not some otherworldly dimensional being's choice!  
Lucky: Don't be silly! That only happens in video games!  
Yoshi: Well? What do we do?  
Mario: Nope.  
Waluigi: No way.  
CC: Not a chance.  
DK: If he had bananas, maybe, but he doesn't.  
Lucky: No.  
Yoshi: Then it's settled.

The heroes turn back to the Goomba, a.k.a. Goomba3.

Yoshi: Sorry, we're not letting you in.  
Goomba3: WHAT?  
Mario: We've deemed you completely worthless. Maybe if you were something else or someone else, but not now or you.  
Goomba3:…then it's settled.  
Yoshi: Glad you understand.  
Goomba3: I accept your challenge!  
Yoshi: What?  
Goomba3: If I become something different, I can join your group!  
Yoshi:…um, okay, fat chance of that happening, though…  
Goomba3: I shall return!

With that final statement, the mysterious Goomba3 left.

Yoshi:…weirdo…  
Mario: So, the ship is underwater.  
Waluigi: That's what they said!  
CC: Who can swim underwater?

…

…

…  
Aroramage: Guys?  
Yoshi: Yeah?  
Aroramage: YOU CAN ALL SWIM UNDERWATER!  
Mario: What?  
Aroramage: Don't ask. I don't get it either. One game, you're able to but you need air, the next, you're safe no matter what you do!  
Yoshi:…weird…

So the heroes all triumphantly dive into-

Yoshi: Triumphantly?  
Aroramage: I'm telling the story!

They swim all the way to the bottom of the lake in a slow fashion that could be expected of anyone swimming underwater…or something like that…

Anyways, sure enough, they find the Jolly Roger…with a big eel blocking the only entrance into it.

Yoshi: 'Scuse us, eel dude.  
Eel: *snore* Zzzzzzz…  
Yoshi: You've got to be ****ing kidding. GET THE **** OUT OF THE WAY!

Yoshi blasts the GFC at the eel! The eel awakens!

Eel: *growls*  
Yoshi: o_o Oops…

The eel charges at the heroes! Who dodge the eel and sneak into the entrance!

Yoshi: Heh-heh, stupid eel.

They appear on the inside easily. They easily find a treasure chest. They easily notice a lock on the chest, easily locate the key, and unlock it easily.

Yoshi: That seemed too easy.

The chest opens! And all the water sinks out of the ship!

Yoshi:…of course…

The party look up a wall with various stepping platforms.

Yoshi: Guess we climb up to the top.

So they did.

Yoshi: Okay, how come you're making these short descriptions?  
Aroramage: What, you want me to go into painstakingly deep detail, describing everything in such a way as Dickens would?  
Yoshi:…never mind…

So they climbed to the top of the wall and found a treasure chest.

Waluigi: Gold! Jewels! Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature!  
Yoshi: Power Star!

The chest is opened! A Power Star was inside! The heroes now have 20 Power Stars! They exit the ship and realize that they are above the water!

Yoshi: The ship isn't sunk anymore!  
Mario: I wonder what sank it in the first place.

All of a sudden, the eel appears out of the water.

Yoshi:…now we know…

The eel is angry! The eel attacked!

BATTLE 1 START!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 35 HP, 25 SP  
CC: 30 HP, 20 SP  
Waluigi: 30 HP, 20 SP  
DK: 40 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Lucky: 20 HP, 35 SP

Eel  
Eel: 2000 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi fires the GFC at the eel for 2 dge! CC slashes the eel for 4 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the eel for 5 dge! DK punches the eel for 3 dge! Mario punches the eel for 2 dge! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at the eel for 4+3+4+3+3 dge! The eel Thrashes the team for 15 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 20 HP, 25 SP  
CC: 15 HP, 20 SP  
Waluigi: 15 HP, 20 SP  
DK: 25 HP, 25 SP  
Mario: 15 HP, 25 SP  
Lucky: 5 HP, 35 SP

Eel  
Eel: 1967 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi:…we're screwed.  
?: I've returned!

Suddenly, Goomba3 returns! He is wearing a weird hat like one from a Magikoopa.

Yoshi: What're you doing here? And why are you wearing that hat?  
Goomba3: I've returned as the world's first MagiGoomba!  
Yoshi:…you're kidding, right?  
Goomba3: Nope! Check this out!

Goomba3 turns to face the eel!

Goomba3: Lightning Blast!

Goomba3 used Lightning Blast for 5 SP! He sucked in air and blasted lightning out from his mouth! The eel is electrocuted! It took 1297 dge thanks to the water environment!

Heroes: O_O  
Eel: O_O  
Aroramage: O_O  
Readers: O_O (if you are not like this, you are now whether you want to or not!)  
Goomba3: And now, finish him off!  
Yoshi: O_O

The heroes are stunned! The eel is stunned! We're all pretty much stunned!

Goomba3:…well, then!

Goomba3 used Lightning Blast for 5 SP! He sucked in air and blasted lightning out from his mouth! The eel is electrocuted and takes 1321 dge thanks to the water environment! Talk about overkill! The eel is destroyed and explodes into a multitude of pieces!

END BATTLE 1!

Everyone except Goomba3: O_O

Goomba3: Well? What do you think?  
Yoshi: HOW THE **** DID YOU DO THAT?  
Goomba3: I visited my friend Larry, who is a Magikoopa, and I asked to borrow a magic book so that I could learn magic. It was funny cause he didn't think I could do it!

Meanwhile, in a far-off place, Larry is looking into his crystal ball.

Larry: O_O

Meanwhile, at Jolly Roger Bay…

Goomba3: So I read his book, thought about how a Goomba could perform the magic, and with the 5-Second Magic User video, I became the world's first Magigoomba!  
Yoshi: Who are you?  
Goomba3: Well, you can call me Gary! Gary the Magigoomba!  
Yoshi: You're in!

Gary the Magigoomba joined the team!

Gary: Here! The eel dropped this on deck when he exploded!

Gary holds up a Power Star! The heroes take it graciously! They now have 21 Power Stars!

Yoshi: You know, I think we could take anyone on at this point.  
Mario: Agreed!  
DK: We've got plenty of Power Stars, so we could leave if we wanted!  
Gary: Actually, I've got more!  
Heroes: WHAT?  
Gary: Yeah! I did some snooping around and got some Power Stars! Look!

Gary holds up 4 more Power Stars!

Yoshi: Schweet!

The heroes now have 25 Power Stars! Hurrah!

Yoshi: Alright, let's go!

The heroes decide to leave Jolly Roger Bay prematurely!

(Aug 9, 2008 - Aug 10, 2008)


	7. Ch 6: Bowser in the Dark World

AN: The picture in the link displayed belongs to artist James Dunn. I do not own the picture...well, except for the one I bought, but besides that, it's his. Just as the Mario characters belong to Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto, their creator. Super Mario 64 and Super Mario 64 DS belong to Nintendo as well. Now for the story you actually care about:

Chapter 6: Bowser in the Dark World

The heroes return to the castle pretty much untouched. Yeah, what a chapter…

Yoshi: You know, I think we should go through that door with the big star on it!  
Mario: Second floor, to the left?  
Yoshi: That'd be the one!  
Gary: Schweet! Who we facing?  
Waluigi: Don't know. How's the magic coming along?  
Gary: It's great! I've actually learned the ability to Tattle!  
Yoshi: YOU'RE TELLING BOWSER ON US? TRAITOR!  
Gary: No, no, that's the ability to tell you guys more about enemies.  
Yoshi:…I knew that.

The heroes arrive at the door and open it easily with their 25 Power Stars! They enter to find…a painting of Peach.

Yoshi: This is a trap.  
Mario: Yep.  
Yoshi: So, who wants to fall for it?  
Waluigi: I'll do it!

Waluigi leads the group. Slowly, they all notice the picture change from Peach into something different. Then, they see Bowser! And a hole opens in the floor below them!

Yoshi: Saw that coming.

The heroes fall in! And are knocked out! As in unconscious! And stuff!

…

? is looking outside the window of the room with the crystal ball. The door opens and Mr. L enters.

Mr. L: You called?  
?: Yes. It appears our friends are located somewhere in the Dark World. Tell Bowser to get rid of them immediately.  
Mr. L: Right away.  
?: Also, how many did you bring?  
Mr. L: A few.

Mr. L opens a bag to reveal Power Stars.

Mr. L: Right now, I've got 3 from the Bob-omb Battlefield, and 2 from Jolly Roger Bay. I also received 2 from Goomboss. I threw out the ones I got from Cool, Cool Mountain as they were fakes. I feel embarrassed that I didn't see the difference right away, but I doubt the heroes noticed much either, so they must have been pretty good. This leaves us with a total of 7 Power Stars to the 25 of the heroes.  
?: Hmm…we are behind them significantly, I see. It will be difficult to catch up with them.  
Mr. L: I suspect that they collected a good haul from Whomp Fortress. I tried to see if there were any others, but the fortress was destroyed entirely. Nothing but rubble.  
?: Well, it can't be helped. So far, you have done well. Now go see that Bowser destroys those heroes!  
Mr. L: As you wish!

Mr. L leaves through the door. ? continues to look out the window.

?:…so it begins…

…

The heroes awake to find themselves in a strange place. Shadows walk as if they were people. Dull Bones are everywhere. Trees are lifeless and lack leaves, which are covering the ground, black and burnt. Behind them, a vast expanse of dark water crashes against the obsidian sands of the beach.

Yoshi: Where are we?  
?: Dark World.

The heroes turn to see a Dull Bones.

DB: Dark World. Lifeless expanse of darkness. Nothing but death. Nothing.  
Yoshi: Umm…who are you?  
DB: Who was I?  
Yoshi: No, who are you?  
DB: I was a Koopa. I think.  
Yoshi: And now what?  
DB: My soul dwells in the Underwhere, my body remains in the Dark World. You are living where all bodies dwell.  
Yoshi: Nyeh. Well, can you take us to your leader?  
DB: There is no leader. There is only darkness.  
Yoshi: You're not a very sociable person, are you?  
DB: Was I?  
Yoshi: Never mind. See ya around!

The heroes ignore the Dull Bones and walk across the scarred barren wasteland. They arrive at the bottom of a black-and-white checkered slope. There is a "!" switch nearby.

Yoshi: I guess we pound it!  
Gary: Let's do it!

The heroes pound the switch! The slope changes and forms itself into a staircase!

Mario: To the top!

The heroes climb the staircase! And they climb! And climb. And climb. And climb…and climb…and climb…and…climb…

Yoshi: *aching as he reaches his hand out to the next step* Oh dear Grambi!

They reach the top!

Heroes: THANK YOU!

They find a mysterious warp pipe. There is a sign nearby, saying "Power Stars at the Bottom!"

Yoshi: Works for me!

The heroes jump into the warp pipe!

…

…

…

They arrive! At the bottom of another staircase!

Yoshi: What?

Another sign appears nearby. "Climb to the top, to the top, to the Light at the End of Time, there he waits."

Yoshi: What? What does that mean?

They heroes look up and see the light in the distance.

.*

Yoshi: Well, that explains that.

The heroes climb the staircase to the top, then up the spiraling staircase on the outside of the tower. And they climb and reach the top! In their midst, a light shines out.

Gary: Pretty…  
Waluigi: Shiny…  
Yoshi: Awesome…-y…

The light is shining brightly! Then it dims a little bit. Then a little more. Then just enough so that the heroes can see a warp pipe placed directly underneath the light.

Yoshi: Guys! Quick! Head toward the light!

…  
…

Yoshi:…wow, that sounded better in my head.

The heroes head down the warp pipe…and appear in the middle of a coliseum!

Yoshi: Why are we here?  
?: Gwa ha ha!  
Mario: Figures.

Bowser appears from nowhere!

Bowser: Gwa ha ha! Welcome to the Dark World Coliseum!  
Yoshi: Hi.  
Mario: How's it going?  
Bowser: Uh…hello? Shouldn't you be scared out of your wits by now?  
Waluigi: Nah.  
DK: Not really.  
Bowser: Oh…well…this is awkward…  
Yoshi: Well, let's face it. You are an old-time villain who has been extensively used as the villain so often; we could probably predict your moves before you even make them.  
Bowser: Ah-HA! Yet you are unable to do so, and that leads me to continue onward in my never-ending quest to bring Peach home to me!  
Mario: Yeah, see, it is stuff like that that gives people the wrong idea.  
Bowser: Or the right one.

…

Awkward Pause: Well, this is awkward. And I should know, I'm an awkward pause!

Awkward Pause then floats away awkwardly.

Bowser: Okay, this is too awkward for my awkward taste! Prepare to be awkwardly destroyed in such an awkward manner, that Awkward Pause would blow up in an awkward way just because of the awkwardness of it all!  
Yoshi: You know, it's a very awkward thing to hear you say awkward so many times.  
Mario: I'm feeling kinda awkward.  
Waluigi: Hey! I've got a horrible pun that will put us into an even bigger state of awkwardness than before! Okay, how does a bird say "word"?

…

Waluigi: *deep intake of breath* AWK-

AN: We apologize for the censorship of the next few minutes, but after Waluigi finished his awkward joke, an awkward pause ensued. Then, Awkward Pause #1 came back and saw how beautiful Awkward Pause #2 was, and the two went on to date each other, kiss each other, marry each other, "get busy" with each other, and then had a beautiful baby, Awkward Pause #1 Jr. This all occurred in about 5 minutes. Yes, the circle of life is now a triangle. So now, we bring you back to the more action-packed part of this chapter.

Mario: Trust me, I'm disturbed beyond comprehension.  
Bowser: Now it's time…to DIE!  
Yoshi: Two words: Not. Scary.

BATTLE #1 START!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 30 HP, 45 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 40 SP

Bowser!  
Bowser: 1500 HP, 50 SP

*cue the Bowser Battle Music from Super Mario Galaxy or from any game you feel is the best! But we all know which one is the best!*

Yoshi uses the GFC on Bowser for 8 dge! CC slashes Bowser for 20 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at Bowser for 28 dge! DK punches Bowser's gut for CRITICAL 35 dge! Mario punches Bowser's head for CRITICAL 27 dge! Lucky uses 3 SP for Marshmallow Power! He uses the Magic Mirror Marshmallow to create a barrier around the group! Gary uses 3 SP for Lightning Blast! He hits Bowser for a CRITICAL 36 dge!

Bowser: Is that the best you got?

Bowser uses Flamethrower on the barrier! The barrier reflected the attack!

Barrier: ^_^  
Bowser: …gah!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 30 HP, 42 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 37 SP

Bowser!  
Bowser: 1346 HP, 50 SP

*- barrier is protecting them

Yoshi uses Egg Bomb, an attack he always had yet never used! He throws an egg at Bowser, which explodes for 17 dge! CC slashes Bowser for 18 dge! Waluigi whacks Bowser with his tennis racket for 17 dge! DK punches Bowser in the face for OWNED 56 dge! Mario punches Bowser in the face for PWNED 69 dge! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Bowser for 8+7+9+8+7+7 dge! Gary Bites Bowser for 4 dge!

Bowser: Oh, you're getting it now!

Bowser grabs a Spiked Bomb and throws it at the barrier! The bomb explodes with tremendous force and shatters the barrier!

Barrier: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 30 HP, 42 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 37 SP

Bowser!  
Bowser: 1119 HP, 50 SP

?: Well, this isn't surprising in the least.  
Mario: What?  
Yoshi: No way!  
CC: Oh crap!  
Waluigi: Oh shoot!  
DK: Oh ripe bananas!  
Lucky:…  
Gary: What? What's wrong?  
Bowser: Wait! You're-  
?: Heh heh heh.

Mr. L and Brobot LX appear on the battlefield!

Mr. L: It's me, the L-atest badass in the army of the great enemy whose name is unknown!  
Yoshi: So, you know who it is?  
Mr. L: Yeah, but I ain't saying who it is! That way, it'll be more surprising to see who it really is who is behind all of this!  
Yoshi:…  
Mario: Well, he knows how to keep secrets!  
Bowser: What're you doing here? This is my fight only!  
Mr. L: The master wanted me to help you out! Besides, you're wasting time!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 30 HP, 42 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 37 SP

Bowser & Mr.L!  
Bowser: 1119 HP, 50 SP  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 25 SP (inside Brobot LX)  
Brobot LX: 1000 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: Alright, I've got a plan that's never been done before! Cover me!

Yoshi moves behind the others and starts charging the GFC! CC uses Double Slash for 2 SP! He slashes Bowser and Brobot LX for 17 dge and 2 dge respectively!

CC: Damn, that's tough armor.  
Mr. L: L-ike it? No? Well, TOO BAD! Have at you!

Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at Brobot LX! Brobot LX deflects the attack to Bowser who takes 27 dge!

Bowser: Hey! Watch it!

DK charges his punch! Mario charges at Bowser and…grabs his tail?

Mario: So long, Bowser!  
Bowser: What the-?

Mario spins Bowser around by using the Touch Screen and releases him, throwing him way off screen and conveniently into a bomb! The bomb explodes! Bowser is instantly defeated!

Bowser: What? How did you know to grab my tail, spin me around with the Touch Screen, and throw me at a spiky bomb surrounding the arena?  
Mario: Duh! You say it in the game!

Mario holds up a DS, with Super Mario 64 DS in the game slot!

Bowser: Grambi! This is worse than the time I got dipped in lava and had to return in skeletal form just to get revived and get my ass kicked again in the New Super Mario Bros. for the DS!

Ad: Remember, kids! Reality CAN be altered! Just play Super Mario Bros! Where everything is in 8-bit historic glory!

Lucky punches Brobot LX! Brobot LX's tough armor and high defense prevent the attack from succeeding, and even cause Lucky to take 1 dge! Gary uses 3 SP for Lightning Blast! He shoots lightning at Brobot LX! Brobot LX absorbs the attack!

Gary: What is this thing, impenetrable?  
Mr. L: Well, actually, it's impenetrable, invulnerable, invincible, indomitable, and unsinkable! The 4-in, 1-un package!  
Yoshi: Unsinkable?  
Mr. L: It's hull can't be penetrated! Therefore, in water, it can't sink!  
Yoshi:…and Bowser still deals with wood…

Brobot LX fires missiles! Each hero takes 20 dge!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 35 SP (charging!)  
CC: 20 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 20 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 20 HP, 35 SP (charging!)  
Mario: 20 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 9 HP, 42 SP  
Gary: 15 HP, 34 SP

Mr.L!  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 25 SP (inside Brobot LX)  
Brobot LX: 998 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: Keep holding him off!

Yoshi keeps charging the GFC! CC slashes Brobot LX for 3 dge! Waluigi whacks Brobot LX for 4 dge! DK punches Brobot LX for a Surprising 16 dge! He dents the armor! Mario engulfs his fist in flame and uses Fire Punch for 2 SP! He hits the dent and causes Brobot LX 15 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Clover charm to increase the team's luck! Gary inflates himself! Brobot LX fires lasers and hits DK, CC, and Waluigi for 15 dge!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 25 HP, 35 SP (charging!)  
CC: 5 HP, 30 SP (danger!)  
Waluigi: 5 HP, 30 SP (danger!)  
DK: 5 HP, 35 SP (danger!)  
Mario: 20 HP, 33 SP  
Lucky: 9 HP, 39 SP  
Gary: 15 HP, 34 SP (inflated!)

Mr.L!  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 25 SP (inside Brobot LX)  
Brobot LX: 960 HP, 0 SP

*- the team has increased luck!

Mr. L: Give up! You have no chance!  
Yoshi: I need more time, guys!  
Lucky: We're doing the best we can!

All heroes shield Yoshi while he charges the GFC! Mario uses Mushrooms! All heroes recover by 20!

Mr. L: How amusing! I have you right where I want you! You have no chance now!

Brobot LX begins charging an orb of energy!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP (charging!)  
CC: 25 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 25 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 33 SP  
Lucky: 29 HP, 39 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 34 SP (inflated!)

Mr.L!  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 25 SP (inside Brobot LX)  
Brobot LX: 960 HP, 0 SP (charging!)

*- the team has increased luck!

Yoshi continues charging!

Mario: How long are you going to charge that thing?  
Yoshi: One more turn should do it!  
CC: Wait, you've been charging that for nearly 5 turns! We don't even know what that'll do at that level!  
Yoshi: I'm counting on that!

Gary uses Air Blast for 3 SP! He deflates and blasts a huge gust of wind at Brobot LX! Brobot LX takes 5 dge! Brobot LX is charging!

The Heroes*  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP (charging!)  
CC: 25 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 25 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 33 SP  
Lucky: 29 HP, 39 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 34 SP

Mr.L!  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 25 SP (inside Brobot LX)  
Brobot LX: 960 HP, 0 SP (charging!)

*- the team has increased luck!

Yoshi keeps charging! Heroes keep defending! Brobot LX keeps charging! The heroes are no longer lucky!

The Heroes  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP (charging!)  
CC: 25 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 25 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 33 SP  
Lucky: 29 HP, 39 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 34 SP

Mr.L!  
Mr. L: 50 HP, 25 SP (inside Brobot LX)  
Brobot LX: 960 HP, 0 SP (charging!)

Yoshi: Move!  
Mr. L: It's over!

Yoshi blasts the GFC at the same time Brobot LX blasts its Energy Blast! The two attacks collide with each other! (cue Navras by Juno Reactor!)

Mario: Hang in there, Yoshi!

The collision appears to be a stalemate! Neither side is giving up!

Mr. L: Please! This is over! It's your will against the relentlessness of my machine and me! You have no chance! Surrender!  
Yoshi: Never!

Mario uses up all of his SP and performs a Mario Finale! He adds to the power of Yoshi's attack!

Mario: Help me out, guys!  
CC: But some of us can't do much with energy!

Gary uses up all of his SP and uses Final Blast! He shoots out a heavily-powered energy beam into the attack! Lucky uses up all of his SP and uses Magical Marshmallow Ultimatum! He combines the energy in the charms to use in the attack! DK, Waluigi, and CC stay off to the side! The collision turns in favor of the heroes!

Mr. L: Not if I can help it! Turbo Energy Boost, activate!

Brobot LX suddenly gains a massive amount of energy and uses it in the collision to force it back into stalemate!

….

"...I guess it's time to end this…"

….

Suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes Brobot LX!

Mr. L: What? What's going on?

Brobot LX is suddenly infused with a massive amount of dark energy! He uses this to blast the heroes away!

Yoshi: Gah!  
Mario: We can't hold him off much longer!

Suddenly, the Power Stars of the heroes react! All 25 fly around the heroes, forming a golden band around them! The energy from the stars suddenly is transferred into the attack! The massive amount of energy surges through the heroes, goes through the attack, and repels the energy at Brobot LX!

Mr. L: What? No! That's impossible!

Brobot LX is hit with a tremendous amount of energy! A massive explosion engulfs it!

….

"…that's…impossible…"

….

The explosion subsides, and the dust settles, revealing Brobot LX with a giant hole where its torso would be. Its metal arms have been twisted grossly out of shape; its legs appear to have suffered from an explosion, yet the head remains intact. Mr. L is nowhere in sight.

Yoshi:…did we win?  
Mario: I hope so. That was tremendous.  
DK: We alright?  
Gary: Barely.

The heroes spy a key.

Yoshi: Hey! I bet I know where this goes!  
Mario: I guess we head back, then.

…

…  
"Well, Mr. L? What do you have to say about this?"  
"I apologize for my failure, but I had no idea-"  
"And neither did I. Do you know what this means?"  
"There's no way of getting theirs at this rate. We need to gather our own."  
"Yes. Precisely."  
"But what do we do with them until then?"  
"We leave them be. They are much stronger than I had expected, with their power and the Stars' power. We will gather ours from different worlds. We must salvage the Stars from the worlds they don't get all of them from and even steal some from inaccessible ones early on."  
"…sir."  
"Yes?"  
"Is that the power you spoke of? The true power of the Power Stars?"  
"Only a small portion, my friend. Only a small portion."

…

…

(Aug 11, 2008 - Sep 14, 2008)


	8. Ch 7: Lethal Lava Land of 133TSP3AK

AN: This is a warning that the following chapter contains gratuitous amounts of cursing, most of which is censored. There is also a reference to a show that is rated TV-14 to TV-MA. That show is owned by people who are not me and who deserve all the credit for making such a great show to watch for people who can. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

_**Chapter 7: Lethal Lava Land of 1337speak**_

When we last left off…well, you know.

Yoshi: Schweet! Let's go downstairs!

And so they head downstairs…into the basement…into the dungeon.

Yoshi: What? I don't remember this castle ever having a dungeon.  
Mario: Well, you probably never heard about the last owner of the castle.  
Yoshi: Who was that?  
Mario: I don't really know, but legend has it that he was a powerful wizard who built the castle from scratch. Then, not too long after the Star Children were born, he donated the castle to the princess and then mysteriously vanished. I haven't heard much since.  
Yoshi: So basically, this castle is really old but with some alterations from the original?  
Mario: Pretty much.  
Yoshi:…I'll never understand the decision of pink.  
Mario: It's the princess's favorite color, what did you expect?

They arrive to find a Toad hiding in the basement.

Toad: Hey guys!  
Mario: What're you doing down here?  
Toad: Well, I was just guarding (wait for it…) a Power Star!  
Yoshi: Schweet! Will you give it to us?  
Toad: Actually, I'd like to ask you a favor.  
Mario: What's that?  
Toad: A friend of mine fell through a painting and hasn't returned since. Could you bring him back?  
Yoshi: Sure. Which painting?  
Toad: That one. (indicates the painting with a fireball on it…that's smiling…)  
Yoshi: Why is that fireball smiling?  
Toad: Why do I wear a mushroom on my head?  
Mario: Why do I wear overalls?  
Aroramage: Why am I writing this story?

ALL THESE QUESTIONS (AND MORE) ANSWERED, NEXT TIME, ON:

TOTALLY  
EPIC  
CASTLE!

…

Yoshi:…okay, then…

The heroes travel through the painting and enter:

LETHAL LAVA LAND!

We find our heroes stranded on a rock…in the midst of a burning sea of fire, a.k.a. a lava lake simulation, a.k.a. a land with lethal magma surrounding it, a.k.a.:

LETHAL LAVA LAND!

Yoshi: You really need to stop yelling!  
Aroramge: Okay, okay, okay. What if I do this:

LETHAL (Lethal, lethal…)  
LAVA (Lava, lava…)  
LAND! (Land!, land!,…)

Yoshi: Great. Now it echoes.  
?: :O

Suddenly, a strange trio of creatures approaches them. One is a Koopa covered in emoticons, another is a Goomba covered with strange symbols, and the third is a Bully…covered in…armor.

Goomba: Wa1 r 134 pr0-8l3m h3r3?  
Koopa: :-(  
Bully: You guys have a lot of nerve coming here to find the Boss.  
Yoshi: Wait, there's a boss here?  
Bully: Dat's right! And don't you forget it! The master of Chao Redness lives dormant in the volcano, keeping the Power Stars within his grasp! And none can stands up to him!  
Goomba: U n008s r scr3ew3d.  
Koopa: *nods*  
Yoshi: Who the hell are you guys?  
Bully: More like "Who IN hell are you guys?" And we are the top three henchmen of the mighty Boss! I'm Bully Go! Dese are my partners: Emoticonnor!  
Koopa: :)  
Bully Go: And 133tst3r G00m8a!  
1Ga: A11 ur bas3 r b3l0ng 2 us, n008s!  
Yoshi: …you are a very disturbing fellow.  
BG: Battle now!

BATTLE 1 START! (cue Mini Boss music!)

Heroes  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 30 HP, 45 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 40 SP

13h 133t T3aM!  
Bully Go: 35 HP, 0 SP  
Emoticonnor: 35 HP, 15 SP  
133tst3r G00m8a: 25 HP, 25 SP

Yoshi swallows up Bully Go, lays him in an egg, and throws him at 133tst3r G00m8a for 7 & 8 dge respectively! CC slashes at 133tst3r G00m8a for 6 dge! Waluigi whacks Emoticonnor in the head with his racket for 7 dge!

Emoticonnor: XO

DK punches Bully Go for 7 dge! Mario punches Bully Go for 5 dge! Lucky throws clover shuriken at Emoticonnor for 6 dge! Gary bites Bully Go for 2 dge!

Gary: *backs away with broken teeth* Ow! Bad idea!

Bully Go charges at Mario and tramples him for 15 dge! Emoticonnor uses Emoticon Power! The emoticon on his back changes to :black mage:!

Emoticonnor: :)

Emoticonnor uses Emoticon Strike! The :black mage: mark glows and begins to move! It attacks with Black Magic Strike!

BM: Gawd, you're so racist!

Aroramage: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!

The attack misses as a result of this brief and minor argument!

Emoticonnor: :O

133tst3r G00m8a u535 133t hax 2 scram81ify t34 5y5t3m! 133tst3r G00m8a u535 133t bla5t 0n t34 h3r035 4 (18) dg3!

Aroramage: Props to anyone who can read that. _

Heroes  
Yoshi: 27 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 22 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 22 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 32 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 7 HP, 35 SP (Danger!)  
Lucky: 12 HP, 45 SP  
Gary: 17 HP, 40 SP

13h 133t T3aM!  
Bully Go: 14 HP, 0 SP  
Emoticonnor: 22 HP, 15 SP  
133tst3r G00m8a: 11 HP, 25 SP

?: DANGER! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!

A random Model B-9, Class M-3 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot from some TV show no one has ever really heard of has just appeared!

Everyone: o_O  
Robot: FEAR THE WRATH OF MY RANDOM TELEVISED SHOW REFERENCE!  
Mario: …*fireball*  
Robot: *catches fire*  
Fire: *laughs maniacally*  
Robot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH! SUPREME DAN-  
Explosion: *occurs*  
Insanity: *ensues*

…

AN: There was a two month gap within this section, thus the reference of time.

Yoshi uses the GFC to-

Yoshi: Okay, you know what, just give up.  
133t Team: HUH?  
Yoshi: Look, we're the good guys, and you're not. The fact is, we're going to be kicking some ass soon, and the faster we get there, the better for the story. Seriously, this story has been on standby for more than a freakin' month! Why did it even take so long?  
Aroramage:...  
Yoshi: The author's been inactive for ages! We only just now resumed this battle! Yo! What took you so long?  
Aroramage: Uh…I, uh…had to go to the bathroom!  
Yoshi: What?  
Aroramage: Okay, so I got a girlfriend now.  
ALL CHARACTERS IN THE STORY: WHAT?  
Aroramage: Yes, yes, whatever, now please-  
Yoshi: What's she like?  
Mario: When do we-a meet her?  
DK: Is she HOT?  
Aroramage: Alright, stop it! I also had to work on a physics project!

…

Yoshi: So, what's her name?  
Aroramage: GAH! Sorry, guys. Let me try and sort this out with these lunatics.

[Numa Numa Song plays]

…

...

[Numa Numa song ends]

Aroramage: Got it?  
ALL CHARACTERS IN STORY: GOT IT!  
Aroramage: Alright then, moving on:  
Yoshi: Wait, where was I?  
Bully-Go: CRUSHING TIME!  
133ts13r G00m8a: W3 sk1pz ur 1urn, n0085!  
Mario: What'd he say?  
Yoshi: They skipped us!  
DK: OH NO!  
Gary: They didn't!  
Waluigi: Oh, they just so totally did it, buddy! *snaps Z-formation*  
Everyone: O_O (cue Dude Looks like a Lady)  
Waluigi: What?  
Yoshi: That's it! It's pwning time!  
133tst3r G00m8a: Wh8t?1?1?1 H3 485 p0w3r5 l1k3 us!

(if you know which one of those is the L, let me know)

Yoshi: Heroes! PWN POWER ACTIVATE!  
Mario: Fire!  
DK: Banana!  
Waluigi: Money!  
CC: Crimson!  
Yoshi: Egg!  
Gary: Magic!  
Lucky: Marshmallows!  
?: With your powers combined, I am:

A strange yellow being forms from the strangeness. The Norton Antivirus logo appears on his chest.

?: CAPTAIN NORTON!

CAPTAIN NORTON,  
HERE'S OUR HERO!  
GONNA TAKE VI-RUS-ES  
DOWN TO ZE-RO!  
HE'S OUR PO-WERS  
MAG-NI-FIED,  
AND HE'S FIGHTING ON  
FI-RE-WALL'S SIDE!  
CAPTAIN NORTON,  
HERE'S OUR HERO!  
GONNA TAKE VI-RUS-ES  
DOWN TO ZE-RO!  
GONNA HELP US  
PUT ASUNDER  
HACKERS WHO LIKE TO  
…HACK AND PLUNDER!

Captain Norton fires his Anti-Hax Beam! He deletes 133tst3r G00m8a from the system!

1Ga: U'11 PAY 4 T415, CAPTA1N N0RT0N!

133tst3r G00m8a is gone forever!

Emoticonnor: O_O  
Bully-Go: O_O  
Captain Norton: I'M-A CHARGIN' MA LAZER!  
Bully-Go: FLEEEEEEEEEE!

The enemy flees the battle!

END BATTLE 1!

The enemy is seen fleeing in the distance!

Yoshi: Yo, Cap'n! Thanks for the help, man!  
CN: No problem, good video game citizen! It is my duty as the super-heroic representation of an anti-virus system to destroy all viruses and….  
Yoshi: Huh? Captain Norton?  
CN: *chest opens revealing a screen*

*pop-up appears*

Pop-Up: You must upgrade your Antivirus System. Please connect to the Internet immediately to allow this program to upload the most updated version of Norton Anti-Virus.  
Aroramage: God-dammit. Hang on guys.  
Everyone: Uuuuuuugggghhhh….

Aroramage defies all fourth-wall logic and literally walks into his own story. Kinda like that narrator from Into the Woods. Man, did he get what was coming to him. In fact-

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!

Right, sorry. Anyways, aroramage goes to Captain Norton, plugs him into a convenient laptop, connects to the Internet, and waits for a month for the program to finish installing.

Yoshi: Wait, so that's what happened?  
Aroramage: That, and the girlfriend.  
Yoshi:…so, does she like mudkipz?  
Aroramage:*evil death glare*  
Yoshi: Got it, story, nvm.  
CN: UPLOAD COMPLETE. CLICK REBOOT TO REBOOT THE SYSTEM.  
Aroramage: No, really.

After Captain Norton reboots…

CN:…and eliminate the hacking population!  
Yoshi: Right. Okay, so lunch at Luigi's on Thursday?  
CN: Oh, you bet! Is that Thanksgiving?  
Yoshi: No, you missed that. It was great! I think we finally met that guy who-  
Aroramage: What, the main villain plotting all of this? No, that was just a dummy.  
Yoshi: Wait…so his real name isn't John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith?  
Aroramage: No one's real name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith.  
JJJS: Well, I never!  
Aroramage: Sorry, John. Go have some donuts.  
JJJS: Hmph! *walks off towards donuts*  
Yoshi: So yeah, on with the story?  
Aroramage: Sure.

Thus do the adventures in Lethal Lava Land continue…

Just walking down a very long dark hall  
Was a bad green man, who was very tall,  
Towards a small green room that held secrets untold  
And a great big machine that wasn't very old.

Entrance to the room  
Green man proceeds towards machine.  
Improve it, he will.

Three hours it takes  
By the third bell he is called  
To be sent away.

Mr. L walks to room  
Meets with the boss to help him  
Defeat opponents.

Suddenly, entrance  
Into room with computer  
Plug becomes removed-

Aroramage: Geez, you leave the AutoType on, and it goes poetic on you. Sorry 'bout the poems and haikus. Here we go!

Mr. L walked into the room of his boss, ?.

Mr. L: Yes sir?  
?: Yes, hello Mr. L. I have a favor to ask you.  
Mr. L: As always you do when I arrive.

? waves his hand over a crystal orb. The misty clouds depart and depict Lethal Lava Land.

?: This is the heroes' current position.  
Mr. L: Yes.  
?: They are currently heading toward the volcano.  
Mr. L: Yes.  
?: They are going to go in and try and take out the boss inside of the volcano.  
Mr. L: What is my goal?  
?: Do nothing with them.  
Mr. L: What?  
?: There is nothing to do. Instead-(waves hand over orb; clouds form and show a desert area)- go here.  
Mr. L: Where is that?  
?: You will find the area in a painting, basement floor. Go there, get into the pyramid, and prepare the ceremony under these instructions.

? hands Mr. L a scroll.

?: Do this immediately, then inform me when you are done. Then, you will be dismissed to take care of the heroes in any case.  
Mr. L: Yes, sir.

Mr. L departs with a bow. ? looks into the crystal orb.

?: It's about time these heroes learned what will happen if they continue onward.

…

Mr. L heads to the workshop. The lights are off.

Mr. L: Ready, Bro-bot?

Two lights flash on, indicating the robot has heard Mr. L. There's just one major alteration: they are at the same height and the same size as Mr. L's eyes…

…

The gang heads towards the volcano.

Yoshi: 10:1 says boss is in there.  
Mario: Nooooooo, really!  
Ten2One: YAH RLY!  
Mario:...

They reach the base of the incredibly small volcano.

Waluigi: This is a volcano?  
Gary: Funny, I thought it would be more impressive than that.  
Yoshi: Well, no use standing 'round here! Let's go!

The gang jumps into the volcano! The gang is falling!

Heroes: *screaming "AAAA" really long time*...*simmers to "aaaa"*...

…

…

….

….

Yoshi: Oh freakin' hell, man, just make us land!  
Waluigi: Wait…we're still falling?  
Mario: But that was an incredibly small volcano!  
Aroramage: Sorry guys. DK got stuck at the top.  
Heroes: Ahhh!  
DK: *at top, struggling to go through*  
Aroramage: *uses awesome author powers to expand hole*  
Hole: *expands*  
Aroramage: *thinks about how wrong that sounds all of a sudden*  
DK: *falls through hole*  
Aroramage: Oh for the love of...  
Heroes: *commence falling*

The heroes finally land on a platform!

?: So, you have finally come!

Out of the lava springs-

TRC: The Red Chao!

…

Yoshi: Who?  
Aroramage: Another user dude.  
Yoshi: Great.  
TRC: Ph3ar my wr8th!  
Mario: He has 133t powers too?  
Waluigi: Geez, who uses that anymore?  
Lucky: Everyone that's after me lucky charms! Always trying to steal 'em…  
Gary: What're you doing here?  
?: Well, well, if it ain't you guys again!

Bully-Go and Emoticonnor appear!

Emoticonnor: :-(  
Bully-Go: We're here to pay you back!  
?: COCK-A-FREAKIN'-DOOOOOOOOO!

The Kelloggs Rooster, Cap'n Crunch, and Count Chocula come out of nowhere!

Yoshi: Oh for the love of crap...  
Capt. C: We're back to crunch-itize you to bits!  
TRC: Lawlz! Meet my newest recruits! Especially after 133tst3r G00m8a was completely annihilated by-  
?: Was someone about to mention my name?

Out of nowhere, Captain Norton appears!

Nowhere: Good gravy, why does everything come out but nothing go in? How do I eat? How do I drink? How do I breathe! Grambi! I'm in a dilemma unlike any of which the likes anyone has ever seen! I must-  
EVERYONE ELSE: GET ON WITH IT!

Right…

CN: Hello, there!  
TRC: There you are! Where the hell have you been?  
CN: Assisting these fine fellows in trying to defeat an enemy virus.  
TRC: You imbecile! You're supposed to be on OUR side!  
CN: …I am?  
Yoshi: He is?  
Aroramage:...*whistles away*  
TRC: Yes! OUR side! The computer 133tst3r related side! Over here!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC: Because you are a computer program! The world is a computer program!  
Yoshi: Wait…even the bathrooms stalls are a computer program?  
TRC: Especially the bathroom stalls!  
Yoshi: o_o Damn, I've been sh*tting on a program!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC: Because it is your destiny!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC: I don't know, and frankly I don't care! If you refuse to join us, then we'll destroy you as a traitor!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC: Because we're damned evil!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC: I don't know, we're just evil!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC:...  
Aroramage: What?  
TRC: Don't even think about making another YTAS reference!  
Aroramage: …in America.  
TRC: Augh!  
CN: …but…why?  
TRC: Gawd, what a moaner.

The Red Chao snaps his fingers and destroys Captain Norton!

Heroes: O_O  
Computers: O_O  
Viruses: XD  
TRC: And now, to recreate Captain Norton in our own image!  
Yoshi: What, like Grambi?  
TRC: Sure! Like Grambi! ASSEMBLE!  
Bully-Go: Wrath!  
Emoticonnor: :-(  
TRC: 133T F1R3!  
Rooster: COCK!  
CapC: Crunch!  
CountC: Chocolate!  
?: With your powers combined, I am-

A strange purplish being with shades appears. A yellow N is on his chest.

CN: Captain Norton!  
TRC:…wait, weren't you yellow a second ago?  
CN: Captain Norton does as only Captain Norton pleases.  
TRC: …would it please you to work for me?  
CN: NO!  
TRC: -_- *anime tear drop*  
CN: I will be my own power!

Captain Norton begins to glow!

CN: I will destroy you and claim your power as my own, and then I'll-

Captain Norton suddenly asplodes!

Heroes: O_O  
Villains: O_O  
Author: O_O  
TRC: Huh…guess he wasn't stable…  
Yoshi:…  
Mario:…  
Gary:…  
Waluigi:…  
DK:…  
Everyone Else: …  
TRC:…BATTLE TIME!

BATTLE #2 START!

Heroes  
Yoshi: 55 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP  
Mario: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Lucky: 40 HP, 50 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP

The Red Chao Team of Epic WIN!  
TRC: 200 HP, 150 SP  
Bully Go: 60 HP, 0 SP  
Emoticonnor: 60 HP, 25 SP  
Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 30 SP  
Count Chocula: 50 HP, 20 SP  
Kelloggs Rooster: 45 HP, 15 SP

Mario: Oh, yeah!

Mario gains a speed boost and attacks first! Mario uses Fireball on Bully Go for 3 SP! Bully Go takes 5 dge!

Bully Go: HAHAHAHAHA! Foolish plumber-man! You can't burnz the people of a lava land! That's lethal!  
Mario:...  
Yoshi: Aren't a lot of our attacks fire-related?  
Mario: Eh, kinda.  
Yoshi:…GREAT BALLS OF BURNING SH*T, THIS IS BAD!

Yoshi attacks! But he trips! And falls! Down! On his face!

Yoshi: *muffled* Nobody say a ****ing word.

CC slashes at the Rooster for 7 dge! DK winds up a punch! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the opposing team! All take 23 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Mirror Charm to bring up a protective barrier around the heroes! Gary yells a Lightning Roar for 3 SP! Emoticonnor is hit for 16 dge!

TRC: Alright, let's try this again! Virus!  
BG: Strength!  
Emoticonnor: :-(  
CaptC: Crunch!  
CountC: Chocolate!  
KR: COCK!

…

TRC: No, do something else!  
KR: COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Waluigi: Hehe, he said "cock". Three times.  
?: By your powers recombined, I am-

A strange red being appears with fire on top of his head. A black "N" is on his chest.

RCN: Captain Norton!

…

TRC: Okay, why does he keep appearing in non-yellow form?  
RCN: BECAUSE I'M ****ING PISSED OFF WITH THE COLOR YELLOW! YOU (censored) GOT SOMETHING TO ****ING SAY ABOUT IT?  
TRC: o_o

Red Captain Norton joined The Red Chao Team of Epic Win!

Heroes (protected!)  
Yoshi: 55 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP (winded up!)  
Mario: 50 HP, 37 SP  
Lucky: 40 HP, 47 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 42 SP

The Red Chao Team of Epic WIN!  
TRC: 177 HP, 150 SP  
Bully Go: 32 HP, 0 SP  
Emoticonnor: 21 HP, 25 SP  
Capt. Crunch: 27 HP, 30 SP  
Count Chocula: 27 HP, 20 SP  
Kelloggs Rooster: 15 HP, 15 SP  
RCN: 150 HP, 50 SP (really pissed off!)

Yoshi punches TRC for 5 dge! CC slashes at TRC for 7 dge! Waluigi whacks at Count Chocula for 15 dge! DK punches Capt Crunch for 22 dge! Mario punches Bully Go for CRITICAL 15 dge! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at TRC for 3+5+3+4+3+5 dge! Gary shouts a Lightning Roar for 3 SP! Red Captain Norton takes 3 dge!

RCN: HEY! WHAT DO YOU (censored)S THINK YOU CAN ****ING DO TO ME, HUH? HUH? THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T DO ****ING ANYTHING!  
Yoshi: o_o He really scares me.  
Mario: He's a hell lot worse than Bowser ever was.  
Waluigi: I'm gonna have nightmares about this guy.  
CC: Ironic that he's fighting off all the viruses.  
RCN: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE (censored) BASTARDS IN THIS (censored) LAND!  
BG: Of lethal lava.  
RCN: AND I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU TOO, YOU LITTLE (censored)!

Red Captain Norton obliterates Bully Go!

TRC: Dude! That was our teammate! You can't just blast him away!  
RCN: LIKE (censored) HELL I CAN!

TRC throws a fireball at RCN! It's completely useless!

TRC: O_O  
RCN: NOW WHAT YOU (censored) GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT, HUH?  
TRC: …here! Take the stars! They're yours! Team, flee!

The Red Chao, Emoticonnor, Capt. Crunch, Count Chocula, and the Kelloggs Rooster flee! They leave the 7 Power Stars behind!

RCN: HEY! YOU (censored) BASTARDS COME BACK HERE!

Heroes (protected!)  
Yoshi: 55 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP (wound up!)  
Mario: 50 HP, 37 SP  
Lucky: 40 HP, 47 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 39 SP

Red Captain Norton!  
RCN: 147 HP, 50 SP (really pissed off!)

Yoshi: Great. Now what?  
RCN: I'LL ****ING TELL YOU ****ING WHAT! YOU (censored)S ARE GONNA ****ING KISS MY ****ING ASS! ONCE I ****ING KICK YOURS!  
Heroes: o_o  
?: Oh do please shut up, you brute. You're an embarrassment to your title of "Captain".  
Everyone: ?  
RCN: WHO THE **** THINKS THEY CAN ****ING TALK TO ME THAT ****ING WAY?  
?: I dare to!

Suddenly from nowhere, Mr. L appears.  
Mr. L: Heh heh heh…  
RCN: YOU ****ING THINK YOU CAN ****ING COME UP TO ME AND **** OFF LIKE THAT? YOU, (censored), HAVE ANOTHER ****ING THING COMING!  
Mr. L: Those who speak foul should learn to control their tongues, least they should lose them. Not to mention it's quite crass and barbaric.  
RCN: I'LL SHOW YOU CRASS, (censored)!  
Mr. L: I should certainly hope not. It's bad enough to just look at you much less be beat up by you.  
RCN: WHAT THE **** DID YOU JUST SAY?  
Mr. L: Oh you heard me. But in any case, I could take care of you in an instant!  
RCN: O RLY?  
Mr. L: YA RLY!  
RCN: O RLY?  
Mr. L: YA RLY!  
RCN: O RLY?  
Mr. L: YA RLY!  
RCN: O RLY?  
Mr. L: YA RLY!  
RCN: O R-  
Yoshi: WE'RE FIGHTING HERE, YOU FRUITCAKES!  
Mr. L: Ha! I hope you mean "we were" as opposed to "we are"! This fight is over! Brobot! COME FORTH!

And from out of nowhere, cue Brobot!  
Heroes: …  
RCN: …  
Readers who are reading this and are wondering why everyone above is "…": …  
Mr. L: Meet, BROBOT MLX!

Indeed, it is Brobot MLX! Brobot MLX is actually surprisingly smaller than the other Brobots. He is about the same size as Mr. L or Mario. And he's got red! And green! And…grey! Grey steel! You know!

BMLX: *robotic voice* Brobot MLX, engaged!  
Mr. L: Prepare to die, you silly excuse for a character!  
RCN: I'LL ****ING HAVE YOU KNOW THAT-

Swiftly, Brobot MLX strikes Red Captain Norton with an incredible punch through his chest, pulling his cybernetic heart out. Electric battery acid drips all over.

RCN: …WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?  
BMLX: Objective: annihilate target. By any means necessary.

Brobot MLX crushes the battery heart into pieces. Opening its other hand, it blasts Red Captain Norton with an energy ball that sends him flying!  
RCN: WHAT THE ****? WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING?  
Mr. L: Annihilation, my ignorant friend.  
RCN: I'M NOT YOUR ****ING FRIEND, (censored)! JUST WAIT TILL I-

Red Captain Norton hits the inner volcano wall and the energy ball explodes! Red Captain Norton is destroyed within the blast!

BMLX: Objective complete. Seeking new target.

Brobot MLX scans the field! It identifies the heroes and Mr. L!

BMLX: Targets confirmed. New objective: eliminate targets.  
Mr. L: You see my genius? Brobot MLX not only has more power than any other Brobot before him, but he is capable of adaptive learning! Instantly, he can defeat an opponent he's never seen! No one can stand up to the power of Brobot MLX!  
?: Oh, get over yourself, you 2-bit lunatic! For I return!

Out of nowhere, The Red Chao returns!

Yoshi: Oh, for the love of crap…  
TRC: That's right! I am back! With my team! Or at least what's left of them!

Emoticonnor, Capt. Crunch, Count Chocula, and the Kelloggs Rooster all appear as well!

Yoshi: Okay, seriously, this is ridiculous!  
TRC: Well, what did you expect? A loving reunion?  
Lucky: …with the Breakfast Brigade, yeah, but that's it…  
TRC: *points to Mr. L* Prepare to die!  
Mr. L: *sigh* Great. More work that I hadn't wanted. Alright, Brobot MLX! Time to take out the trash!  
TRC: Ha! Here trash burns up too fast to be taken out!

…

…

TRC: What?

Heroes (protected!)  
Yoshi: 55 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP (wound up!)  
Mario: 50 HP, 37 SP  
Lucky: 40 HP, 47 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 39 SP

The Red Chao Team of Epic WIN!  
TRC: 500 HP, 150 SP  
Emoticonnor: 60 HP, 25 SP  
Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 30 SP  
Count Chocula: 50 HP, 20 SP  
Kelloggs Rooster: 45 HP, 15 SP

Mr. L & Brobot MLX!  
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Brobot MLX: 200 HP, 50 SP

Yoshi: *looks at stats* Wait, when did THEY recover?  
TRC: Ha! You thought that run-away-and-hide-out-of-fear-of-angry-Captain-Norton tactic was just to run away and hide out of fear of angry Captain Norton?  
Yoshi:...uh, yeah?  
TRC: No! We were regrouping, recovering, and re-…getting-ready-to-kick-ass!  
Yoshi: -_-' Ugh…

Yoshi uses the GFC on Count Chocula for CRITICAL 45 dge!

CountC: Agh! I'm-  
Yoshi: Don't even THINK about making another melting joke!  
CountC: …being liquefied!  
Yoshi: -_-'

CC slashes TRC for 15 dge! Waluigi tosses a Bob-omb at The Red Chao Team of Epic WIN! The Bob-omb explodes for 27 dge to all team members! Count Chocula is defeated!

CountC: BUT I NEVER GOT TO ATTACK! *is blasted off* …bleh!

DK punches TRC for 32 dge! Mario punches TRC for 17 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Moon Charm to turn himself invisible for 3 turns! Gary yells out a Thunder Shout! Emoticonnor takes 28 dge! The Red Chao punches Mario, but his attack is reflected for 4 dge! Emoticonnor uses Icon Roulette! Various emoticons appear in order: Smiley, Frowny, Frightened, and Angry! Emoticonnor uses Emoticon Strike! The Smiley icon glows! Emoticonnor fires sunbeams at the heroes!

Mario: …sunbeams? Like beams of sunlight?  
Aroramage: No, more like-

BLAZING RAYS OF UV RADIATED HEAT ARE THROWN AT THE HEROES!

Mario: …oh…nevermind…

BUT THE ATTACK IS REFLECTED AT TRC! HE TAKES 14 DGE FROM THE SCORCHING HEAT!

TRC: YOW! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING THAT!

Capt. Crunch uses the Crunchitizer Cannon! He fires a laser at Lucky! But Lucky's invisibility prevents the attack from striking him! He is unharmed! Instead, a random lava rock is hit and transformed into Capt. Crunch cereal! Kelloggs Rooster sucks in some air!

TRC: Dude, why can all your attacks be interpreted the wrong way?  
KR: *glare*

The Kelloggs Rooster uses COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! He yells out, causing the sun to rise in the east!

Heroes: …  
Mr. L: …  
TRC: …  
Everyone: …  
TRC: Dude, we're in a VOLCANO! SURROUNDED BY HARDENED MAGMA! WE'RE WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!  
Yoshi: Yeah, that's what she said.  
TRC: *glare*  
Mr. L: Enough of this childish nonsense! Have at you!

Mr. L brings out L-Rapier!

Yoshi: What?  
Mario: You didn't have that in the one battle we fought with you!  
Mr. L: When I wasn't upgrading Brobot, I practiced my sword skills! L-ike it?  
Heroes: …  
Mr. L: Fine. *draws L-Rapier* HAVE AT YOU!

Mr. L slashes at TRC for 16 dge! Brobot MLX seeks out a target!

BMLX: *beep* Target found.

Brobot MLX sets his sights on Capt. Crunch! He fires a laser at Capt. Crunch! The laser hits for 26 dge! The Crunchitizer Cannon blows up, causing 25 dge! Capt. Crunch is blown away!

CaptC: AT LEAST I'M NOT MELTING!

The heroes are no longer protected!

Heroes  
Yoshi: 55 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP  
Mario: 50 HP, 37 SP  
Lucky: 40 HP, 44 SP (invisible!)  
Gary: 45 HP, 39 SP

The Red Chao Team of Epic WIN!  
TRC: 375 HP, 150 SP  
Emoticonnor: 33 HP, 25 SP  
Kelloggs Rooster: 45 HP, 15 SP

Mr. L & Brobot MLX!  
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Brobot MLX: 200 HP, 50 SP

Yoshi: Umm…guys?  
Mario: What?  
Yoshi: Has anyone else noticed that no one has picked up the Power Stars TRC threw onto the ground before running from RCN?

Everyone turns to look. Sure enough, the 7 Power Stars TRC threw are still there, shining.

Everyone: …SCREW THE BATTLE! GET THE POWER STARS!

Everyone in the battle throw themselves onto the Power Stars! The struggle is futile! Suddenly, the Power Stars begin to glow!

Yoshi: Wait, what's going on?  
Mr. L: What is this magic?  
TRC: Dude, what the ****?

The Power Stars rise up in a circle and begin to spin! An image appears inside the circling Stars!

?: Eh-hem, hello? Is this on? Testing, testing, 1-2-3…  
Yoshi: Oh my Grambi, it's the Eldstar!  
Eldstar: Hmm? Hello? Is someone there?  
Mario: Eldstar! What are you doing here?  
Eldstar: Well, apparently there is a dispute as to the ownership of these Power Stars.  
Waluigi: Dispute? What dispute? They're ours! We need them to destroy evil! That isn't me or my brother!  
Mr. L: Preposterous! They are mine! I need them to give to my master so he may use them for his plans!  
TRC: Wrong! They're mine, man! I found them here, and therefore I'm the legal guardian!  
Eldstar: Do you have papers?  
TRC: …uh, papers…yeah…somewhere…in the lava…  
Eldstar: Well, then, since no one has a really good thought, this will now be decided in the most ancient form of showdown:

A MUSHROOM SHOWDOWN!

Heroes: *gasp*  
Villains: *gasp*  
Other Generic Characters: *gasp*  
Everybody Now: *gasp*  
Mario: A Mushroom Showdown?  
Yoshi: But there hasn't been a showdown in ages!  
TRC: Wait…what?  
Eldstar: Don't worry, it's an old tradition that came from the idea of a TV show we watched. We decided it would be fun!  
DK: WHAT?  
Eldstar: Yes, but anyway, it is time to start a showdown!

And the contest will be… Eldstar walks over to a lottery globe. He spins it around, and all the white balls with numbers spin and tumble all over inside it. Finally, Eldstar brings out one…somehow…

Eldstar: Showdown # 3,506: Mario Kart Racing!

Everyone: WHAT?  
Mario: We're racing? Mama-mia!  
Eldstar: Yes! Now, choose your kart/bike, and prepare to race on:

BOWSER'S CASTLE!

Yoshi: Dude, we got that from the choice a-  
Aroramage: Mention it, and your very existence will be questioned.  
Yoshi: o_o  
Eldstar: Now, choose your kart/bike, and-  
Aroramage: Say that again, and your very existence will be questioned.  
Eldstar: o_o

Everyone chooses their karts/bikes and prepares to race!

Mario Kart Race!  
Course: Bowser's Castle!  
Participants:

(Name-Kart/Bike type)

Mario- Sprinter  
Yoshi- Standard Bike M  
DK- Offroader  
CC- Crimson Biker (Crimson colored Quacker)  
Waluigi- Wario Bike  
Lucky- Lucky Charm (Green Bit Bike)  
Gary- The Wizard of Ah (Magikruiser)  
TRC- THE L33T BIKER! (red, black, awesome version of Bubble Bike)  
Emoticonnor- Emoticar (Blue Falcon with Emoticons all over)  
Kelloggs Rooster- Morning, Everybody! (Sunshine version of Tiny Titan)  
Mr. L- L-Bomber (Dark Green Sneakster, features backwards L)  
Brobot MLX- ?

Eldstar: Um, Brobot MLX? What's your kart or bike?  
Mr. L: Fool! Brobot MLX does not need one!  
BMLX: MODE SHIFT: RACING. BEST CHOICE: BIKER MODE.

Brobot MLX suddenly does a Transformer-transition into a bike.

BMLX: MODE SHIFT COMPLETE.  
Eldstar: o_O My, that's some fancy mechanical contraption you got there. *mutters* I knew no good would come from cityfolk and their flying machines.

…

We interrupt this CARA for a breaking news update! A Mario Kart Race of epic proportions is about to begin!

Suddenly, the Bowser's Castle course is surrounded by a giant stadium! Fans appear out of nowhere! Then, the MC appears in a box!

MC: Welcome one and all to this rare perhaps once-in-a-lifetime event! Okay, so I'm just some random out of place fan acting in as announcer, and this happens more often than Bowser getting beat by Mario, an outstanding achievement for this sport or anything for that matter, but for everyone here today, there is one crucial difference! This race is a Mushroom Showdown, an event that hasn't occurred in over thousands of years! Now let's begin!

Everyone moves their kart/bike to the starting line. A Lakitu comes up with a set of lights.

Lakitu: Hey! Yoshi!  
Yoshi: Huh?  
Lakitu: Dude, it's me!  
Yoshi: Do I know you?  
Lakitu: Oh, come on! How can you not remember me! I'm from the very beginning of the CARA!  
Yoshi: …O_O That was YOU?  
Lakitu: And still is!  
Yoshi: WTFRU DOING HERE?  
Lakitu: What does it look like? I'm holding this set of lights for the countdown! It's my other job.  
MC: Gentlemen, start your engines!

Everyone begins to rev up! The lights glow red!

MC: Ready!

Lights turn yellow!

MC: Set!

Lights turn yellow-green!

MC: GO!

Lights turn green! And the race is on!

MC: And they're off! And, Mario takes an early lead, but that may not be enough! There they go, down and up the ramp and over the lava river! Ooh, some nice tricks there, meaning some racers are getting a speed boost! And now they're going through the Crazy Hallway! And we've got items of all sorts! Yoshi, in fourth, hits Mr. L with a Green Turtle Shell and speeds by! But TRC looks like he's got trick! And he better, being in eleventh!  
TRC: Hey!  
MC: And he pulls out-

TRC and his bike turn into a Bullet Bill!

MC: Oh man! He's got a Bullet Bill! Those babies help out draggers by boosting them ahead of the crowd, or at least as far up as they can. And TRC passes tenth, ninth, eighth, seventh, sixth, fifth, fourth, and lands in third place! Amazing!

Lightning strikes from the sky!

MC: Wow! It looks like last place DK has thrown a lightning bolt, zapping everyone, causing them to drop their items, spinning them out, and shrinking them! All wrapped in a convenient package of destruction and total annihilation! And everyone's jumping off the ramp over to the—whoa! A giant metal Bowser appears to be blasting fireballs straight down the middle of the course! But oh, these guys are clever! They're taking the sides and riding them up, doing tricks, and coming down to swing over to the other side! But I guess they already—wait, what's this? Emoticonnor has a Golden Mushroom! And being in tenth, he needs it! But he's doing something daring! He's blasting right down the middle, dodging the fireballs! Amazing!

?: Hey!

The real announcer/MC appears!

AMC: Get out of my seat!  
FMC: Yipe!

The Fake MC quickly rushes out!

AMC: Ahem. Now they're on the curve, and passing through the Thwomp barrier! And over the ramp past the fire wheel! Wow! What intensity is this! Wait, what's this?

Out of nowhere, the Mach 5 and the Shooting Star appear out of nowhere!

?: You will not win this race, X! Oh!  
Racer X: You can't stop me, Speed! Not now, not ever! Ah!  
Heroes: Oh!  
Villians: Oh!  
AMC: OH! It's racing legends from another universe, Speed Racer and Racer X! Ah!  
SR: You won't win! Oh!  
AMC: Oh! What's this?

A blue turtle shell flies to Speed and X! They're both hit! The cars going spinning out of control!

SR: Oh!  
RX: Oh!  
Fans: OHH!  
AMC: AAAAHHHHH!

The cars explode violently!

Trixie: SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! !  
Mr. L: AAAAAHHHH! SHUT THE **** UP!

Mr. L bashes Trixie with a Green Turtle Shell! Trixie is knocked unconscious!

AMC: OOOOHHHHHHHH!

…

AMC: And now, the first lap summary:

First- TRC  
Second- Mr. L  
Third- Mario  
Fourth- Yoshi  
Fifth- Brobot MLX  
Sixth- DK  
Seventh- Waluigi  
Eighth- Emoticonnor  
Ninth- Gary  
Tenth- CC  
Eleventh- Lucky  
Twelfth- Kelloggs Rooster

AMC: And they're off! Going off the ramp! And now, we're shifting into turbo as the racers cross through the hallway again! And Mr. L brutally assaults TRC with a Red Turtle Shell! Wait! A POW Block has activated, slipping up the top five racers and allowing DK, Brobot MLX, and Emoticonnor to take the lead! And they're taking the bend and cycling around to the Mecha-Bowser again!

Meanwhile, on the track:

The racers are zooming round and towards the Mecha-Bowser!

BMLX: Objective: destroy competition.

Brobot MLX runs up a ramp and gets an item box! The item box becomes a Green Turtle Shell!

BMLX: Weapon acquired. Seeking out target.

Brobot MLX targets DK!

DK: Uh oh.  
BMLX: Target Lock. Fire!

Meanwhile, in the back…

Mr. L, TRC, Mario, and Yoshi are jumping off the ramp!

Mr. L: Time to get lost!

Mr. L knocks TRC in the air! TRC is thrown off course!

TRC: That's not cool-*drowns in lava*  
AMC: Youch! That's hot! *cue boos from readers for bad pun*

The rest land safely on the other side! TRC is fished out by a Lakitu! He has become Dry TRC!

DTRC: OOohhh, you gonna get it now!

Dry TRC races after everyone else!

AMC: Now, we have the leaders heading through the lava pits again!

Brobot MLX has hit DK and has taken the lead! Emoticonnor is closely pursuing him, followed by Waluigi!

AMC: And now, for second lap stats:

First- Brobot MLX  
Second- Emoticonnor  
Third- Waluigi  
Fourth- Gary  
Fifth- Yoshi  
Sixth- DK  
Seventh- CC  
Eighth- Lucky  
Ninth- Mr. L  
Tenth- Mario  
Eleventh- Kelloggs Rooster  
Twelfth- Dry TRC

DTRC: Wait, I'm behind the rooster?  
KR: *evil death glare*

The racers jump the gap again and head toward the hallway!

Lucky: Time for a boost!

Lucky uses Mushrooms he has saved! He boosts ahead of CC and DK!

Meanwhile, towards the front…

Waluigi is charging after Emoticonnor and Brobot MLX, with Gary and Yoshi going into a formation!

Waluigi: Stay on target!

The top five head towards the Mecha-Bowser! The Mecha-Bowser is shooting multiple fireballs now!

Gary: We're too close!  
Waluigi: Stay on target!  
Yoshi: We can't do this!  
Waluigi: Stay on target!  
Gary: Why do you keep saying that?  
Waluigi: What, stay on Target?

Waluigi is seen from above on top of the Target logo.

Everyone else: -_-'

Everyone has…somehow caught up to each other just to make things more exciting, tense, and…action-related.

Yoshi: Just say it's for the sake of the story, and we'll be fine.  
Aroramage: Fine.

Okay, it's the story's sake, so sue me. (Disclaimer: this does not mean you should sue me.)

AMC: The racers have all come up! Neck and Neck! No one's ahead of anyone else! Except for the Kelloggs Rooster, who's behind everyone!  
KR: *evil death glare*  
AMC: HERE THEY COME AROUND THE BEND!

The racers are turning around! Brobot MLX drops behind the others

BMLX: I have you now!

Brobot MLX fires a Blue Turtle Shell! Due to sheer proximity, they are all hit by the shell's explosion! Brobot MLX seems to have the lead until-

AMC: DAN GURNEY'S EAGLE RACING CARS! THEY'VE ALL BEEN HIT WITH LIGHTNING!

Everyone is crossing the finish line, and-

AMC: And, looking at the photo-finish, it's…

Wait a minute!

Aroramage: WTF? THE ROOSTER WON? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DIMENSION? First, I get sued by my readers, even after specifically telling them not to, then the Kelloggs Rooster got chosen on the roulette, and third, THERE'S NO THIRD POINT TO MAKE! WTF? Has the world gone mad?

AMC: oh Grambi…  
Yoshi: What? What is it? Who won?  
AMC: *shows all characters the winner of the race*  
All Characters: O_O  
KR: :)  
AMC: …IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

The stadium is evacuated immediately! Everyone is heading for the bomb shelters! The most pathetic character in this entire CARA so far has actually won a battle! What's more, it was for the Power Stars! What's more, it was for 7 Power Stars! What's more, it-*shot*

Aroramage: *blows gun* I hate it when it does that.  
?: No, no, no! This can't be happening! It can't!

Zoom in on South Park characters watching from the stands.

Mr. Mackey: Dude, the useless character won out! Game over man, m'kay?  
Mr. Stotch: *goes to son, Butters* Son, just remember…Daddy loves you.  
Aroramage: *shoots Mr. Mackey…and Mr. Stotch…and Butters…and prepares for another lawsuit…)

Meanwhile, thousands of interdimensional units away…

AMC: How did this happen? How is it possible? What does it mean?  
Stadium Fan: *runs-by* We're all gonna die by sunrise! *continues running*  
AMC: Actually, that sounds pretty accurate. *runs away screaming*  
DTRC: Woo-hoo! My teammate won! As hard as it is to believe that we all lost to the most useless character in the series, it brings me joy to see that my teammate, though useless, has brought us victory!  
KR: Actually, these are for me.

A gasp!

Yoshi: He can talk!  
Mario: He can talk?  
Waluigi: He CAN talk!  
DK: HE can talk?  
Gary: He can TALK?  
Lucky: HE can TALK?  
Mr. L: He can talk?  
BMLX: ERROR, ERROR…  
DTRC: OMFG, HE'S TALKING IN A BRITISH ACCENT!  
KR: Quite right, good fellow.

The Kelloggs Rooster then throws a black cape over himself and suddenly appears with a top hat, a cane, a tux, and he's wearing…a monocle?

Gary: Oh dear Grambi, he's a WIZARD!

…

Yoshi: What?  
Gary: Don't you guys know? It's a well-known fact that all wizards wear monocles.  
DTRC: Oh, yeah? Then why aren't YOU wearing one?  
Gary: I'm in-training.  
Heroes: o_O  
KR: My good fellow, I am not a wizard. I am Krillen Von Roostenheimer, although now I am known as the Kelloggs Rooster.  
Waluigi: How convenient! Same initials!  
KR: And, now knowing the power that these "Power Stars" hold, I plan instead on keeping these for myself!  
Everyone: WHAT?  
KR: Yes, well, you see, I have my own personal theory on the subject, but that doesn't matter quite at the moment. But indeed, my very presence and self-revealing moment has redefined the boundaries of which I can go through to. Lucky, it is good to see you again, by the way.  
Lucky: YOU'RE ****ING BRITISH! I SHOULD POP YA AN IRISH LEFT HOOK, I OUGHT TA!  
KR: In any case, I do now find it necessary to make my quite new villainous appearance in an attempt to prove how "useless" I am NOT! I shall now prove to all you wretched low-lives that it is I who shall triumph, that it is I who shall be victorious, that it is-

Yoshi randomly fires the GFC at the Kelloggs Rooster!

Yoshi: I hate it when characters do that.

The Kelloggs Rooster…is unharmed!

Everyone: WHAT?  
KR: *laughs* You wankers don't have the slightest clue, do you? The Power Stars are now mine, and in their self-preserving state-of-mind, I am protected from your silly out-of-thematic-battle tactics! Now, if you'll excuse me, it's almost tea time. Ta-ta, ol' chaps!

The Kelloggs Rooster taps into the power of the Power Stars and is warped away from the Lethal Lava Lands! Of lava! Which is lethal! In several-*shot*

Aroramage: Geez, I need to get that fixed.

(Oct 23, 2008 - Mar 6, 2009)


	9. Ch 8: The Labyrinth of Hazy Maze Cave

AN: WARNING! TONS AND TONS OF INSANITY AND ANTICS ARE FOUND IN THIS CHAPTER! DO NOT READ THIS MATERIAL IF THIS IS AN ISSUE!

...pfft, like it's an issue for you guys! Read on, faithful readers, read on...

**Chapter 8: The Labyrinth of Hazy Maze Cave**

In the upsetting aftermath of the last chapter, and after much angry ranting with the heroes, Mr. L with Brobot MLX, and Dry TRC's team, recently restored to his original form and returning to his proper dimension, our heroes return to the deadly dungeon at Peach's Castle where they plan to go to the next world to find more Power Stars and blah blah blah blah blah, quest-related elements are inserted here, press b to jump, and moving on…

Yoshi: So where should we go next?  
Mario: I don't know.  
Aroramage: Great! Cause you don't get a choice in the matter!  
Heroes: What?  
Aroramage: Remember? Story? Users? Choose A Random Adventure?  
Heroes:…  
Aroramage: I thought you guys used fourth-wall breaking abilities again.  
Yoshi: Fourth-what?  
Aroramage: Did you not use them during the last chapter?  
Mario: What's he talking about?  
Lucky: Beats me.  
Aroramage: Ohhhh, I get it. The ol' "I-don't-really-have-fourth-wall-breaking-abilities-but-in-fact-I-do-so-I'll-hide-them-from-the-author" ploy.  
Yoshi: The what ploy?  
Aroramage: Alright, fine. Prepare the strange ironic twist we're all expecting. There's only two ways it ends: you say you do, or you say you don't, both when I leave you guys alone. Yeah, we're all expecting it. Besides, there's no point in surprising my readers. They sued me already. Anyways, I've got to prepare for the court case, so I'll see you guys later.  
Yoshi: …but we can't see you.  
Aroramage: Say that again and your very existence…ah, who am I kidding…

Aroramage departs for the courthouse.

Yoshi: …dammit, he's on to us!  
Waluigi: Quick! Find the next world and let's lose ourselves in it!

The heroes walk through a doorway, noticing that there is water on the ground and that the doorway is on a platform that requires a jump to reach.

Mario: I wonder if Toads can reach this door at all.  
Waluigi: I wonder why there's water on the ground.  
Yoshi: I wonder how that mysterious-voice from above is doing.

Meanwhile, thousands of universal units away…

CARA COURTHOUSE 9:00 AM

Bailiff: Court Case # 92839477, Readers vs. Aroramage. Another lawsuit. Why? Who knows. We get this crap here all the time.  
Judge: How does the defendant-I mean, "sued" plead?  
Aroramage: What type would you prefer?  
Judge: Oh, whatever makes the day go by faster, I suppose.  
Aroramage: Innocent, based on disclaimer rights.  
Jury: *gasp*

Meanwhile, in an entirely different direction…

The heroes walk through the doorway. The room is a large area with a railing immediately in front of them, leading around in two paths that lead to a lower level. In the center of this room, an octagonal portal dwells. And nearby, a Toad is standing in the corner.

Mario: *wide-eyed* Oh boy...  
Toad: *cheerful* Hey, guys! What's up?  
Yoshi: What're you doing-  
Toad: *angry* NONE OF YOUR ****ING BUSINESS, YOU DINO-BASTARD!  
Yoshi: o_o  
Toad: *sad and crying* I'm so sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt your feelings?  
Heroes:...  
Toad: *absolutely terrified* No! Stop looking around like that! It's so intimidating! Fine! Here! Take the Power Star!

THE HEROES RECEIVE ANOTHER POWER STAR! WOO-HOO!

Toad: *flamboyant, or gay* Oh my god, did I just, like, totally do that? Oh well! Easy come, easy-  
Mario: Go!

The heroes jump into the portal.

Toad: …*angry* Oh, wait till those ****ing bastards come back, I'll give 'em what for! *confused* Wait, what am I saying?

Meanwhile, thousands of nanometers beneath the surface of the portal…

The heroes land and find themselves in…in…

Yoshi: Hey, where are we?  
Gary: Well, based on my calculations, we appear to be atop a wooden platform in the midst of a giant cavern crawling with critters and creatures that will cause inevitable troubles for us and impede us as we continue our epic quest.  
Yoshi: …in English?  
Gary: We're in a cave.  
Yoshi: *gives one of those "oh for the love of crap" looks*

Sure enough, they are in a cave, standing atop a wooden platform. Why? Who knows. We get this crap here all the time. In the meanwhile, there are several spider-creatures crawling around. Strangely, they appear to have suction-cups for feet.

Waluigi: Oh Grambi! Sucky-spiders! They suck eight times more than regular spiders!

…

Waluigi: What?  
CC: Don't you think before you say anything?  
Waluigi: Think? Like thinking? But what does that have to do with anything?  
Heroes: *facepalm*

Meanwhile, thousands of trans-dimensional (insert unit of measurement here)s away…

CARA COURTHOUSE 9:13 AM

Judge: So…where's everybody else?  
Bailiff: I don't know. They should have been here ages ago.

Aroramage is typing on the nearby computer.

Jury Member #1: Wait, why is this a court case again?  
Jury Member #2: I don't know. This crap happens all the-  
Jury Member #3: Stop that! Don't you realize there's a law about that?  
Jury Member #2: About what?  
Jury Member #3: About using the same joke three times or more in an update.  
Jury Member #1: That's not a law, that's a guideline.  
Jury Member #3: Is that what Barbossa told you?

The three jury members turn towards Jury Member #4, who is Captain Barbossa.

CB: Aye, they ain't rules, they're guidelines.  
JM#1: No, it's the truth.  
JM#3: Oh really. And who would invite him to a court case, hm? He's a pirate!  
JM#2: And a good man!  
JM#3: No, just a pirate. Sparrow's a pirate and a good man.  
CB: Yargh, I beg to differ.  
JM#3: Oh, shut it.  
JM#1: So? What's your point?  
JM#3: My point is that this is pointless. It's not even a court case! Just look at the rest of the jury!

The other jury members are Darth Vader, Chuck Norris, Bob Saget, Richard Nixon, a Barbie doll, the Forty Thieves, Jackie Chan, and Batman.

JM#1: What about them?  
JM#3: Oh, come on! Who has the power to put Chuck Norris into the jury? Do you honestly believe that this isn't just some court case?  
JM#1: Dude, this isn't a court case. It's a lawsuit.  
JM#3: Wait…a lawsuit?  
JM#1: Yeah, that guy over there on the computer is the one who's being sued by his readers even after he gave a disclaimer, so now he's going to court.  
JM#3: …you mean this isn't court case # 26549810, "Who Killed Roger Rabbit?"  
JM#1: No, that's in building XGA, down the Walkway of Peril and past the Gallows of Final Judgment.  
JM#3: Oh…whoops. My bad, guys!  
Other Jury Members: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh…  
Chuck Norris: I saw this. It was inevitable. So will that roundhouse kick to your face.  
JM#3: What?  
Chuck Norris: Oh, nothing.  
JM#3: Hang on, I've got a map. Follow me, guys!

All jury members except Jury Member #1, #2, and Barbossa follow Jury Member #3 out the door. A few moments later, a loud pop is heard as Jury Member #3's dying screams fill the air.

JM#2: …so, remind me again why we're doing this?

Meanwhile, (insert # here) of (insert measurement here)s away…

Yoshi: Chuck Norris can count to infinity…twice.  
CC: Oh, come on!  
Waluigi: We've heard that one already!  
Yoshi: Yeah? Well, Chuck Norris already heard that one already!  
Waluigi: Your mom heard that one already!  
DK: Oooooooooooohhhh…  
Yoshi: Pfft, that sucked!  
Waluigi: What, like your egg-based attacks?  
Yoshi: I'll have you know my egg-based attacks are VERY powerful! Did you see that Egg Rolling Attack in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?  
Waluigi: Not nearly as effective as my Whacking Racket Attack!  
Yoshi: You were only in there as an Assist Trophy, which, as we all know, makes you a minor character!  
Waluigi: What? And who made me a MAJOR character in this series, hm?  
Mario: An outer-dimensional being that pretty much controls much of what we say and do and who is being sued right now, giving us free-range to do whatever the hell we want.  
Waluigi: Oh please, that stuff doesn't even happen in video games! What makes you think it would happen in something like this?  
Yoshi: Well, it would explain how we can defy the fourth-wall.  
Gary: What fourth-wall?  
Yoshi: Don't worry, the author's not even here monitoring us.  
DK: …so what do we do?

The heroes look around at each other.

Waluigi: I know! Let's riot!  
Others: YEAH!

Now the characters wander off into Hazy Maze, reeking havoc and chaotic destruction wherever they go, chanting "RIOT" continuously, blowing up spiders from the inside, and defying the laws of physics by walking on walls.

(insert generic transition statement here)…

CARA COURTHOUSE 9:32 AM

Bailiff: Well, what's the decision?  
Judge: Decision? Decision? How can there be a decision? There is no case with only one side! We must contact the author's readers through his power and get them to decide their reasoning behind this lawsuit!  
Aroramage: Actually, they were just kidding.  
Jury: *gasp*  
Judge: WHAT?  
Aroramage: Yeah. The disclaimer was there as part of the story. They just decided to sue me out of, well, plain silliness, I'm sure.  
Judge: PLAIN SILLINESS? YOU HAVE BEEN SUED FOR PLAIN SILLINESS?  
Aroramage: Hey, it happened to McDonald's with coffee.  
Baliff: You really think she would have KNOWN the coffee was hot. That's exactly what coffee is!  
Aroramage: I know, right?  
Judge: THE BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! I HAVE WASTED A HALF-HOUR WAITING-  
Aroramage: 32 minutes, actually.  
Judge: WHATEVER! I'VE WAITED HERE LONG ENOUGH FOR THESE HOOLIGANS WHO ARE YOUR READERS, AND-  
?: Sorry we're late.

The readers now appear within the courtroom.

TRC: Yeah, we got stuck at building XGA, court case # 26549810, "Who Killed Roger Rabbit?" by mistake. It seems there was a mix-up.  
Makuta: Yeah, but now we're here!  
PrinceShroob: Uh, yeah…  
Judge: Finally, they are here! And thank you for telling me about the mix-up, that happens here all the time. So, now that we're all here, why don't we get down to business.  
TRC: Actually, we're not here for the trial.  
Judge: WHAT?  
Lolo: I just came for the donuts. *eh-hee!*  
Judge: Oh brother.  
Makuta: Yeah! We actually came to say:  
All Readers: (everybody, now) Who cares? RIOT!  
Judge: Oh shit, not again!

The courtroom goes into chaos as yet another riot takes place! What a surprise!

Camera slowly turns to the right…

The maze can be seen in complete ruin. A strange wormhole appears, and Mr. L and Brobot MLX enter the labyrinth.

Mr. L: What the hell happened here?

Suddenly, the heroes pop in from above.

Heroes: Mr. L!  
Mr. L: Heroes!  
BMLX: A TV show on NBC airing-  
Mr. L: Not that! Them!  
BMLX: Apologies, Master. I was just watching the episode where Sylar meets his dad. It's so inspiring. I wish to one day make a trip to my own father.  
Mr. L: Brobot, I have to tell you something about that.  
BMLX: You do?  
Mr. L: Brobot, I AM your father.  
BMLX: What?  
Mr. L: Yes! I am your brother, your father, your master, and your creator!  
BMLX: It can't be! That's impossible!  
Mr. L: Search your electrically-based circuitry and data-processing core! You know it to be true!  
BMLX: NOOOOOOOOO!  
Heroes: …  
Mr. L: What? What are you all staring at?  
BMLX: What about my sister?  
Mr. L: You actually never had one.  
BMLX: What about my mother?  
Mr. L: Never had one.  
BMLX: What about Padme?  
Mr. L: Who, your wife? I think you killed her.  
BMLX: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Mr. L: Alright, enough with the extensive alternate-dimension relevant jokes! Now to business!  
Heroes: *lift drinks and say drunkenly* To business!  
Mr. L: Eat!  
Heroes: *silently munch on Carrot Crunchies*  
Mr. L: Wait a minute, where did you get those?  
CC: I told you they were the signature treat of: THE CRIMSON CRUSADER!

…

Mr. L: I'm not going to ask.  
BMLX: Chapter 1, during the search for the-  
Mr. L: I'M NOT ASKING!  
Yoshi: So, what brings you guys to this place?  
Mr. L: WHY ARE YOU SO DENSE? This is the location of the next 7 Power Stars!  
Yoshi: …and you're here because, why?  
Mr. L: We're here to collect them! Or else take them from the big boss or you heroes or whoever is holding on to them.  
Yoshi: Oh, so you're here to collect the Power Stars!  
Mr. L: Which you have?  
Yoshi: Nope.  
Mr. L: THEN WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS ENTIRE TIME?  
Waluigi: Reenacting the deeds of the legendary Dark Link where he raids Hyrule in the Four Swords Misadventures series.  
Mr. L: What, being antiheroes?  
Yoshi: No.  
Heroes: WE'RE HAVING A RIOT!  
Mr. L: A riot? When you should be trying to stop us from getting the Power Stars? When you are supposed to be saving the world?  
Yoshi: Yeah, pretty much. Why, got a complaint?  
Mr. L: …can I join you?  
Waluigi: Hell yeah, you can join us!  
Everybody: RIOT!

Of course, at this point, no matter where I go, there's a riot. Hazy Maze, The Courthouse, all in a panic, all in a riot. And now to Dickens you all to hell:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of order, it was the age of chaos, it was the season of spring, it was still the season of spring, there were riots here, there were riots there, the courts were in session, and the session was in chaos, the maze was visited and then it was destroyed, and all of this matters not because I have the supreme magical ability to instantly create an immensely continuous non-logically possible English-rule-following run-on sentence that can be copied into Microsoft Word and not have a damn thing found wrong with it, for all the words within this paragraph of text are spelled correctly, the sentence is legitimate, and no matter whatever the hell you readers think, there is a riot occurring somewhere at this time, both in a maze and a courthouse, in a labyrinth and a session, in a story and a lawsuit, as the riot is occurring presently at this state of war due to the lawsuit, for it is the lawsuit that led to the court being in session that led to the story that led to the characters within that story riot which further led to the readers rioting the courtroom which was in session, thereby leading onward to this one sentence or paragraph that is still continuously going without anything being wrong with, but don't worry, it's going to end soon.

And now, back to adventure!

CARA COURTHOUSE 9:44 AM

The courtroom has been thoroughly trashed. Not surprising.

Judge: Are you mindless savages quite finished with your barbaric rioting?  
PrinceShroob: Oh, sure.  
TRC: Why not?  
Judge: Good! Now then, what do you want to do?  
Makuta: I demand that Aroramage comes over to Nintendo Wars, start an army, and participate there as the payment for sue!  
Aroramage: But I don't even know where or what Nintendo Wars is! And who's Sue?  
Sue: SHUT THE **** UP!  
Makuta: AND TOO BAD!  
Judge: Then I demand that Aroramage be told where and what Nintendo Wars is, go over to it, start an army, and participate there as the payment for sue!  
Aroramage: But we haven't even had the trial!  
Judge: This is a lawsuit!  
Aroramage: In a court of law!  
Judge: But not of suit!  
Aroramage: There was a disclaimer!  
Judge: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!  
Aroramage: But I do!  
Judge: Of course YOU do! YOU'RE the one being sued!  
TRC: Hey! Don't we get a-  
Aroramage & Judge: STAY OUT OF THIS!  
Readers: ¬¬

Meanwhile…meanwhile…

The maze is trashed. Suddenly, another warphole appears with Krillen Von Roostenheimer exiting its transdimensional depths.

KR: What the bloody hell happened to this place?  
Yoshi: Oh, hey, new villain!

The heroes, Mr. L, and Brobot MLX all appear.

KR: Shouldn't you be-  
Yoshi: Instead of that, we're rioting.  
KR: You're rioting?  
Mario: Yeah!  
Mr. L: You should join us in our quest to destroy stuff!  
KR: Oh, what jolly good fun! Almost as fun as watching the DOW plummeting into the ground!  
Everyone: …  
KR: What?  
Waluigi: BACK TO RIOTING!

After several more hours of rioting, everyone begins to tire out. To me, IT'S ABOUT F***ING TIME! Seriously, what's an auto-typewriter to do with just one action, huh? What, should I just ramble on and on about how much blood and gore and various property damage has been thrown around within all of this time? Seriously, do I look like I can do that? What if I described HOW they did it, hm? I mean, that would just be disgusting! It'd be like watching a scary movie for the umpteenth time! It's still scary as freakin' hell the fifth time you see him popping up behind her as the first! I don't know about you, but that bloody well scares the shit out of me! Seriously, I never walk into the type-in lounge without checking behind the giant cyber-plant for death rays of doom. That's exactly how Sherry went, I've heard. It's a terrible crime, I'd say! I mean, who would want to listen to someone or something, or anything ramble on and on for minutes while-

Everyone: SHUT THE **** UP!

…I'm just saying.

Everyone: Then we can dig it!

And so, while the cave rioting soon ends, the court rioting continues…

TRC: Dibs on coffee machine!  
Makuta: Dibs on gavel!  
Lolo: Dibs on Lolo! Oh wait, already got it! Woooo!  
Judge: People, PLEASE! Stop this madness! We still need to discuss the lawsuit!  
Sue-ers: I thought we established this!  
Judge: We did?  
Aroramage: Yeah, last update. Don't worry, it's all taken care of.  
Judge: Really?  
Aroramage: Yeah. Just made an account on Nintendo Wars and trying to think of how to work it, but it looks like I'll be having some good fun.  
Judge: *eyes aroramage suspiciously*  
Aroramage: …as punishment for my crimes and as agreed in the lawsuit.  
Judge: Alright, then, that wraps things up! Alright, everyone, you may go home.  
Everyone: Ahhh….  
CB: Yargh, I disagree with this here decision. If anything at all, I'd say-  
Everyone: SHUT THE **** UP!  
CB: …yargh, I'm just saying.  
Everyone: Then we can dig it!  
Aroramage: Well, better get back to my story, then.

Meanwhile, inside the story…inside a maze…inside a tunnel…

Well, the maze has been thoroughly ravaged, so…

Heroes: …  
Villains: …  
Generic Standby Creatures: …  
Revivable Creatures: …  
All Creatures 2 by 2: …  
Yoshi: So…now what?  
Mario: Maybe we should actually look for and try to find the Power Stars.  
Everyone: Ahh….  
KR: It felt so good to divert everyone's attention away from the plot for a while!  
Mr. L: Oh well…

…  
*awkward turtle*  
…

Yoshi: So  
Mario: So?  
Waluigi: So-so.  
CC: Do-re-mi-so.

…

Everyone: !

Everyone frantically and quickly seek out the Power Stars! Running around the caverns of a labyrinth, however, is never a good idea. Soon, the heroes are split up from the villains, and then further split up from each other. In the end, there are three groups looking for the Power Stars:

Group 1: Yoshi, Waluigi, Mario, Lucky  
Group 2: DK, CC, Gary  
Group 3: KR, Mr. L, Brobot MLX

In the meanwhile, let's check in on an old friend of ours, still trapped behind bars…

…I say that. But it appears Wario is no longer in his cell…um…hey, where is he? Well, wherever he is, his cell is a total mess! I mean, look at that giant hole in the wall! It's enormous! Big enough for him to crawl through and escape or something! I mean, that's a horrible habit to get into, leaving giant holes in walls like that. It's uncalled for! Unless, of course, you've somehow been captured by some unknown enemy and have therefore decided to blow a freakin' hole in the wall as a means of escape so you can get the hell out of there! Seriously, I-

Aroramage: Eh-hem.

…oh, right, gotcha. So Wario has escaped through a giant hole in the wall! Where is he now? Where is he going? How bad must it be to be stuck in a tunnel when you need to go? All these questions and more to be answered sometime in the vaguely distant future…

Group 1

Walking amidst the walls of the labyrinth, Yoshi, Mario, Waluigi, and Lucky all seek out the Power Stars.

Yoshi: So, besides those suckish spiders, what else do you suppose lives down here?  
Waluigi: I think I saw a Discovery Channel Special about caverns. Apparently, gay people live down here.  
Mario: That's bats, you idiot.  
Waluigi: Bats, gay people, same thing.

Soon, a light is visible at the end of a tunnel.

Yoshi: Wait, there's an escape route in this maze?  
Mario: I don't think there's supposed to be one.

And as they approach the light, something unexpected happens…

Group 2

DK, CC, and Gary are walking around and find a room with an enormous hole in the center. Boulders are rolling down a slope into the hole.

DK: Geez, it's like some sort of ill-prepared plot-driven trap or something.  
CC: How do you come to the plot-driven part of this trap conclusion?  
DK: Well, let's face it. Either we turn around and go back the way we came, or we go forward dodging boulders in an attempt not to be knocked down into the bottomless pit that is before us.  
Gary: How do you know it's bottomless?

DK breaks off a large chunk of the wall and throws it into the pit, where it disappears into the darkness.

DK: Hear any breaking?  
Gary: …I see your point.  
?: Ow!

A distant noise from the pit below surprises the trio!

Gary: Okay, if there's no bottom, then what was that?  
DK: A stray Boo floating around?  
CC: I dare say we investigate!  
Gary: I ain't jumping in there!  
DK: Look, it was a seemingly bottomless pit. Now, it's a not-as-bottomless-as-we-originally-thought pit. I think we should check it out.  
Gary: ARE YOU INSANE? Just because something said "Ow" when you threw a chunk of wall down there doesn't mean anything! Look at those boulders!  
CC: Look, we either check out what it is that's down there, or else we turn around and go back so as to continue a seemingly-more fruitless search for the Power Stars.  
DK: This could be a good lead.  
Gary: Er…alright, fine! But I'm riding DK's back!  
DK: -_-'

Group 3

Mr. L and KR are talking to each other while Brobot MLX scans the nearby area.

Mr. L: Look, I'm just saying, what was the REAL point behind making a TV show based on a video game anyway?  
KR: And I'm just saying, what's the bloody point of making a video game based off a TV show! All the same, there's no damned point!  
Mr. L: Perhaps not to you, but surely it is a matter of great interest. I mean, the Super Mario Bros. Super Show?  
KR: I for one cannot think of what a "paisano" is.  
Mr. L: Sounds like a personal issue to me.  
KR: Ugh...  
BMLX: SCAN FINISHED. POWER STAR LEVELS: NONE. NEGATIVE.  
Mr. L: Damn. Well, I suppose we will just have to-  
?: ¿Qué necesita usted hacer?

The villains turn around to find out they have a mysterious visitor nearby…

Group 1

The quartet of heroism walks into a strange room. In the middle sits a large arena of some sort, with four podiums at each of the corners. Beyond that, there are two doorways, each marked with a strange foreign symbol.

Yoshi: You have got to be f-ing kidding.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, presenting:

?1: I am one of the two you seek!  
?2: Soon in your pants you will take a leak!

The Paradox Brothers perform crazy acrobatic stunts as they make their official entrance into the room!

Para: Behold as we bust out our funky-fresh rhymes!  
Dox: Soon you shall pay, so hope you can spare some dimes!  
Para: I am Para!  
Dox: And I am Dox!  
Both: And we are about to give you some sort of pox!  
Heroes: WTF?  
Para: Now bring out your decks for it is time to duel!  
Dox: Our rhyming on timing will make you spew drool!  
Para: If you cannot take the heat, then get out of our way!  
Dox: Though we may seem stuck here, we can leave any day!  
Para: Behind us, two doors, through which one makes you free!  
Dox: But beyond the other, you shall scream not of glee!  
Para: We are the two guardians of each door!  
Dox: If you can't handle this, just wait! We have more!  
Para: Invincible are we, in a children's card game!  
Dox: We are the Paradox Brothers, if you've forgotten the name!  
Para: We can bust out rhymes, we can even sell chimes!  
Dox: I warned you about taking out some of your dimes!  
Para: Now come take our challenge and we'll show you whose crass!  
Dox: It doesn't matter what you think, cause we'll still kick your-  
Yoshi: Alright, we get it, just the shut the **** up!  
Mario: Don't mind me, I'm just drinking 7-up! *drinks*  
Waluigi: Hang on a sec, are we rhyming too?  
Lucky: Don't ask me, laddy, I ain't got a clue!  
Yoshi: Surely there is some way out of this trap!  
Mario: I'm thinking the only way is a battle of rap!  
Para: Aha! I see you have caught on too!  
Dox: But we still have more things that will make your face blue!

Group 2

DK, CC, and Gary have, in the meanwhile, dropped down into the pit, where for several minutes they fell before finally landing on the ground with a heavy thud.

DK: Wow, that was a long drop.  
CC: Oh, don't even get me started on THAT again.  
DK: Hey, come on! I was stuck!  
?: Greetings, you strange beings from beyond the beyond!

Two strange green creatures with two elongated nostrils approach the group.

DK: What the hell are you guys?  
?1: We are Quirks!  
CC: The who?  
?2: The Quirks! We are a forgotten alien species from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!  
Trio: O_O  
Quirk1: Yep. In fact, a lot of characters from the show are down here in this pit.  
Quirk2: We've been forgotten, so we don't serve much of a purpose.  
Gary: What purpose do you have then?  
Quirk1: Destroying all intruders who have the misfortune of falling into the pit and preventing their escape through the teleportation revival system.

…

Gary: Oh…crap.

Group 3

Mr. L: And just who do you think you are?  
?: Yo soy un guardián del laberinto es que estas cuevas.

? steps out of the shadows to reveal himself as the Faun from Pan's Labyrinth!

Villains: WTF?  
Faun: Perciba mi forma como usted lo ve antes que usted.  
Mr. L: Wait, could you run that by me again?  
Faun: ¡Ah, cuán terrible! ¡Yo todavía soy puesto a hablar español a norteamericanos!  
Mr. L: Okay, I could tell "americanos" is Americans. And we aren't! We're Japanese!  
KR: Actually, my dear good fellow, I'm British.  
BMLX: IDENTIFICATION OF ORIGIN CONFIRMED: I AM AMERICAN.  
Mr. L: *mutters* Damn traitors.

Faun switches on a voice translator.

Faun: Can you hear me now?  
Villains: Sure.  
Faun: Good! This makes it so much easier for you to understand me!  
Mr. L: Yeah, like we give a damn.  
KR: Frankly, my friend, I don't give a damn.  
Faun: Yes, but you should. After all, I am here to help you.  
Mr. L: And how exactly do you plan on doing that?  
Faun: Quite simply, use this.

Faun gave a piece of chalk to Mr. L.

Mr. L: …that's it?  
Faun: Draw a square upon the wall, and open a doorway you shall. Follow the path to a room where there is a table filled with food. However, you must not take anything off the table, less you should upset the wrath of a terrifying creature.  
Mr. L: Oh Grambi, not this subplot again.  
Faun: Pardon?  
Mr. L: You don't have to tell us about this. Next after this fiend that sees with its hands, you'll tell us to go after some toad to make it eat some stone and throw its innards out, and then you'll tell us we have to sacrifice ourselves in order to become the new kings of the underworld, or some sort of bull like that.  
BMLX: IDENTIFICATION CONFIRMED: CHALK IS MERE CHALK.  
Faun: …screw it. DIE!

Faun brings out a dagger and attacks!

Group 3 – Battle!

Villains  
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP  
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP

Mythics  
Faun: 1200 HP, 50 SP

Mr. L draws out L-Rapier and slashes Faun for 27 dge! Brobot MLX uses Rocket Punch! His fist fires off and punches Faun for 35 dge!

KR: Ha-ha! My first battle as a credible villain! Time to really show-off my newfound, improvised, power!

KR uses Monocle Trick! He shines his monocle in the light at just an angle as to blind Faun!

Mr. L: What the hell was that?  
KR: I have blinded our foe successfully!  
Mr. L: …um…couldn't you try something with a little more effectiveness?  
KR: Ingenuity is my greatest weapon. Look upon the fruits of my labor!

Faun is blinded!

Faun: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! FIENDS! I SHALL TEACH YOU TO DEAL SUCH PAIN TO ME!

Faun uses Underworld Summoning Magic! He draws a circle, mutters an incantation, and summons Toad King!

Mr. L: …OH WHAT THE –

Meanwhile, in Group 1…

Yoshi: Wait, so please, just let me get this straight!  
We're stuck here till we beat them in musical debate?  
Mario: Indeed, my dear friend, that's exactly what I mean!  
Waluigi: I'm wondering where I put that stinkin' lima bean.  
Para: On top of this battle, a test of your wit!  
Dox: It really doesn't matter how often you spit.  
Para: For do not forget that duelists are we!  
Dox: Only by defeating us will we let you be!  
Yoshi: Grambi, this is really starting to tire me!  
Lucky: Don't worry about it, or my name's not Lucky!  
Heroes: ...  
Para: Now bring out your decks and prepare to die!  
Dox: Trust me on this one, for we do not lie!  
Yoshi: *shouts* Will someone please tell me what're they talking about?  
Mario: Please, keep your voice down, there's no need to shout!  
Yoshi: What kind of decks do they even refer to?  
Waluigi: How bout these decks I found near a tu-tu?

Waluigi brought out two decks for card games!  
Don't think I'm afraid to say a few names!

Mario: Why, these decks belong to a Yugi and Joey!  
Lucky: We could use these to defeat our foe-e…  
Para: Ha-ha, it doesn't matter what you do!  
Dox: The curse of this place is forced rhyming on you!  
Yoshi: This is just like something out of Dr. Seuss!  
Mario: Let's just beat them real quick, and then, we'll vamoose!

And so Mario and Yoshi stepped up to duel.  
Believe me, playing a children's card game is so cool!  
With cybernetic technology and holograms galore,  
Dueling is one experience where we can really see the gore.

Yoshi: Oh give me a break, it's a 3-D video game!

…well, I didn't make it, so don't give me any blame!

Para: Don't worry, you don't need to play and rhyme.  
Dox: Give me a nickel, brother, can you spare a dime?  
Para: Oh for crying out loud, stop asking for money!  
Dox: Well we've got to get paid somehow, sonny!  
Yoshi: Looks like I'll be going first!  
Waluigi: I'll grab some punch to quench my thirst!  
Heroes: Ugh...  
Waluigi: What? I just want something to drink!  
Lucky: Honestly, do you mind? They're trying to think!  
Yoshi: I summon out my Swordsman of Landstar!

It sure sounds like a cool monster!

Meanwhile, in Group 2…

Group 2 – Battle!

Heroes  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP

The Lost Ones  
Quirk1: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Quirk2: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Hercufleas: 40 HP, 5 SP  
Fire God: 50 HP, 15 SP  
Brutius Maximus Grouchimus: 70 HP, 0 SP  
James Blonde: 35 HP, 15 SP  
Obi-Wan Toadi: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Mervin the Magician: 40 HP, 20 SP  
Waldo the Wizard: 40 HP, 20 SP  
Zero: 35 HP, 0 SP

CC: Okay, what's up with all the parodies?  
JB: I'm a parody of Bond, James Bond.  
Hercufleas: I parody the mighty Hercules!  
OWT: I am a Toad-version of-  
CC: IT WASN'T A QUESTION TO BE ANSWERED!

CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He furiously slashes at Hercufleas, James Blonde, Zero, and BMG for 19 dge to them all! DK punches BMG for 35 dge! Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! He lets out a yell and hits Fire God for 12 dge! Quirk1 and Quirk2 fire their lasers at CC and DK for 2 dge respectively! Hercufleas punches CC for 12 dge! Fire God fires a fireball at DK for 9 dge! BMG punches DK for 17 dge! James Blonde pulls out Gadget A and uses it against Gary! Gary is hit for 14 dge and cannot recover SP! Obi-Wan Toadi uses the Force! Wait…

OBT: That's the Mushroom Force to you!

…um, kay. Obi-Wan Toadi uses the Mushroom Force for 4 SP! He blows back Gary against a wall dealing him 12 dge! Mervin and Waldo the Magician and Wizard respectively begin to do Research! They start to learn about the heroes! Zero lashes out with her sword at CC! CC uses his own sword to deflect the attack!

Heroes  
CC: 36 HP, 28 SP  
DK: 32 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 19 HP, 42 SP

The Lost Ones  
Quirk1: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Quirk2: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Hercufleas: 21 HP, 5 SP  
Fire God: 38 HP, 15 SP  
Brutius Maximus Grouchimus: 16 HP, 0 SP  
James Blonde: 16 HP, 15 SP  
Obi-Wan Toadi: 30 HP, 11 SP  
Mervin the Magician: 40 HP, 20 SP (Researching!)  
Waldo the Wizard: 40 HP, 20 SP (Researching!)  
Zero: 16 HP, 0 SP

Meanwhile, in Group #1

Para: Now it is the turn of me!  
Dox: Make them suffer to make me happy!

Para draws a card from his deck.

Yoshi: What's the narration for? Seriously, WHAT THE F-Heck!  
Para: Hahahaha! I dare laugh at you fool!  
Dox: Saying those words just isn't cool!  
Para: Now I bring out my monster, Shadow Ghoul!  
Dox: Remember, kids, to stay in school!

Egad! An evil green zombie appears!  
Not all of those onions will give you tears.

Mario: It's now my turn, you freaky bros!  
Lucky: I told you, Waluigi, I can make plants grow!

Mario starts his turn by drawing a card!

Waluigi: Quit making me feel like a freakin' retard!  
Mario: I summon out the Celtic Guardian!

An elf appears as a guard, not librarian!

Para: If you think you can win with your heroic luck…  
Dox:…then you should prepare yourself and get ready to duck!

It's my turn now, and soon you shall see…

Para:…the terror of our decks with the Mighty Three!  
Yoshi: Why the hell do they bother with all of this rhyming?  
Mario: It's because they've no life so as to perfect their timing!  
Para: Do you dare start a battle with kung fu fighting?  
Dox: Like cats we can be just as fast as lightning!  
Para: But enough of this, for we need not stall!  
Dox: How appropriate! I summon Labyrinth Wall!

The field reforms into a giant maze!

Lucky: With my powers, I can blind you for many days!  
Para: Now you are trapped within our mini-maze!  
Dox: Feel the power of its mighty gaze!  
Yoshi: You idiot! Those walls do indeed lack eyes!  
Waluigi: Is there ever a sentence where you can say "dies"?  
Yoshi: Whatever, my move! And I'll start with the draw!  
Lucky: Don't you know scarecrows usually have straw?  
Yoshi: I bring out the mighty Tiger Axe!

Hey, look! I've got the power of UB3R HAX!

Yoshi: Now I…wait, what do I do now?  
Mario: We should've asked to operate the field, how?  
Para: The field has become labyrinth-style!  
Dox: To go call for pizza, proceed to dial:  
Para: DOX! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SELL OFF PAPA JOHNS!  
Dox: Don't forget, we sell pizza and bongs!  
Yoshi: Bleck! I detest this practice, as Count Bleck would say!  
Mario: Wait a minute, how do you know that guy anyway?  
Yoshi: I rented a copy of Super Paper Mario for the Wii!

It was so great, that I'd give it a 3…out of 3.

Para: You move spaces into the maze up to the card's total level.  
Dox: Your mother plays card games in hell with the devil!  
Yoshi: Then I give Tiger Axe a movement of four!

Honestly, by now, you should know the score.  
Now four spaces does Tiger Axe move into the dungeon.  
If only we had a dragon, it'd be a perfect conjunction!

Yoshi: Don't even think about referencing D&D!  
Waluigi: So wait, one plus two does equal three?  
Yoshi: After setting a card, I end my turn!  
Lucky: It is for the win that you do indeed yearn!  
Para: Now it is my turn to destroy your monsters!  
Dox: Just look up once in a while and see the stars!  
Para: Behold the power of Polymerization!  
Dox: It will send you to hell with lots of damnation!  
Para: By combining the powers of my Ghoul with the Wall-  
Yoshi: Hang on, this shouldn't even be working at all!  
Dox: And how would you know? Did you read the rules?  
Yoshi: You should know he who doesn't always drools!  
Indeed, I have, and on a technicality,  
You need an Equip Spell to bring out that soon-to-be fatality!  
Para: In the normal game, that may be true.  
But we play like in Duelist Kingdom, you f-ing fool!  
Dox: Looks like you should have watched the show!  
Only then would you have known!  
Yoshi:…  
Para: Now Shadow Ghoul becomes the Shadow on the Wall!  
Dox: With this creature, you can't stop us at all!  
Para: Wall Shadow, attack his monster now!  
Yoshi: I don't think so, pal-o-wow!  
Activate the Trap called Kunai with Chain!  
Waluigi: I can't believe doing simple division really hurts my brain!  
Para: Why is this duel like that set of episodes?  
Dox: At least we know the difference between frogs and toads!

Meanwhile, in Group 3…

Villains  
Mr. L: 75 HP, 0 SP  
BMLX: 128 HP, 32 SP  
KR: 41 HP, 16 SP

Mythics  
Faun: 460 HP, 5 SP  
Toad King: 325 HP, 0 SP  
Eye-Hands Fiend: 66 HP, 6 SP

…

Mr. L: NO! STOP RIGHT THERE!  
Aroramage: What?  
Mr. L: Don't even THINK about listing all the characters that got "summoned" while you were watching Rhyme-Time on Blue's Clues or whatever the hell that was!  
Aroramage: Why not?  
Mr. L: WHY NOT? WHY NOT? I'LL ****ING TELL YOU WHY NOT! Not ONLY did he summon the legions of the underworld from Pan's Labyrinth, but he even summoned:

Hellboy  
Hades from Disney's Hercules  
The Seven Deadly Sins from FMA  
The Evil Teddy Bear from YTAS  
Cackletta & Fawful (WTF? o_O)  
The Four Saint Beasts  
Team Rocket  
Stuffwell

The list goes on and on!

Aroramage: …crap.  
Mr. L: Yeah, crap!  
Aroramage: No, I mean we're supposed to pick one of these guys.  
Mr. L: …what?  
Aroramage: Yeah.  
Mr. L: …what do you mean by this?  
Aroramage: Well…

(insert explanation here)

Mr. L: …SONAVUBITCH!

While they're all busy deciding that, let's move on to Group 2's battle.

Unfortunately, arriving upon the scene, we seem to have missed that battle too.

DK: What're you talking about? We're over here!

…turns right.

And….

Heroes  
CC: 8 HP, 4 SP (DANGER!)  
DK: 14 HP, 13 SP (low)  
Gary: 2 HP, 12 SP (DANGER!)

The Lost Ones  
Quirk1: 5 HP, 0 SP (DANGER!)  
Quirk2: 5 HP, 0 SP (DANGER!)  
Hercufleas: 6 HP, 5 SP (DANGER!)  
Fire God: 5 HP, 3 SP (DANGER!)  
Brutius Maximus Grouchimus: defeated  
James Blonde: defeated  
Obi-Wan Toadi: defeated  
Mervin the Magician: defeated  
Waldo the Wizard: defeated  
Zero: 1 HP, 0 SP (DANGER!)

…wow…

CC: Yeah, you missed a lot.

CC uses Double Slash for 2 SP! He hits Quirk1 and Quirk2 for 5 dge each! Both Quirks are defeated!

Quirk1: Brother!  
Quirk2: From another mother!  
Everyone else: WTF?

DK grapples with Hercufleas! Gary uses Thunder Roar for 3 SP! He hits everyone on the opposing field for 13 dge! Everyone except DK is KO'd! DK is paralyzed some!

DK: Watch where you're aiming that thing!  
Gary: Well excuse me for saving your life.

BATTLE END!

The battlefield is covered with lots of people on the ground. The trio stands over them, bashed, bruised, and brutally beaten, but not beat.

CC: Talk about alliteration.

Thus the trio wanders towards the portal that will lead them to the exit, where they shall continue their quest for the Power Star in Hazy Maze Cave.

DK: Wait, that's it? We fought all those people for that extremely brief summary? And no viewer comments?  
Aroramage:…sure, we'll go with that.  
DK: This side trip better be worth all that XP.

The trio walks toward a broken down house. Inside of the house, there is a machine labeled TELEPORTATION REVIVAL SYSTEM.

DK: Seriously, there's nothing else?  
Aroramage: Not a thing.

The trio prepares to enter the teleporter and-

DK: There's no surprise or anything after this?  
Aroramage: WILL YOU JUST GET IN THE DAMN TELEPORTER ALREADY?

The trio finally enters the damn teleporter and is teleported to:

THE SPOT WHERE THEY FELL INTO THE PIT IN THE FIRST PLACE! DUN, DUN, DUN!

DK: But we didn't fall in. We jumped in.  
CC: And why the hell did we get transported back to the exact same place we jumped in? That's complete bullsh*t.  
Gary: Grambi, who knows what the others are doing?

Meanwhile, in Group #1's battle against the Paradox Brothers,  
More rhyming ensues! Wait, what can hovers?

Yoshi: THAT HARDLY MADE ANY SENSE AT ALL!  
Ash (from episode 1): Pikachu, hurry up and get in the Pokéball!  
Mario: What the hell, kid? You're in the wrong series!  
Para: Then again, so are we!  
Dox: Say g'night, dearies!

Um…yeah, what the hell is going on?

Waluigi: Can't you tell who rang that gong?  
Lucky: What do you think? We've got a duel!  
Yoshi: And I think we were ready to look really cool!

Well, looks like we barely missed the duel!  
Although more monsters have appeared on the field…that's cool!

Para: We have the power of Gate Guardian!  
Dox: What the hell rhymes with guardian?  
Yoshi: Well we have the power of Black Skull Dragon!  
Mario: You're not making this easy. What rhymes with dragon?  
Para: And now we go with the power of Riryoku!  
Dox: And now we shall beat you! Fu-fu-fu!  
Yoshi: Oh crap! What the hell does that magic card do?  
Mario: Hey look! It rhymes with Riryoku!  
Para: By stealing half of your life, we power up our beast!  
Dox: After all of this trouble, we're going to have a feast!  
Yoshi: Sonuvabitch! This battle's taking forever!  
Waluigi: One day, I'll go back to Barcelona for her…  
Para: Gate Guardian, obliterate their monster now!  
Dox: Don't worry about this, there's no need to have a cow!  
Mario: My trap card that makes no sense shall activate!  
Lucky: Alright! We could win through raw power at this rate!  
Aroramage: Exclamation points make everything a lot more exciting!  
Yoshi: And now my Copycat is to copy something!  
Para: Oh no! Through this move, their monster becomes stronger!  
Dox: Work it harder, makes it better! Do it faster, makes it stronger!  
Para: That's it, no more Kanye West for you, Dox!  
Dox: But we were just about to clean their clocks!  
Yoshi: Black Skull Dragon! Molten Fireball Attack!  
BLD: Grah, grah, FIREBALL ASSAULT! …attack!  
GG: Gah! No! Beaten am I!  
Para: But wait, hold on-  
Dox: -you can't just die!  
Mario: And now that you're down, it's time to kick ass!  
Dark Magician, blow up their little bass!  
Para: But wait, there are no fish on the field!  
Dox: Shut it, Para, we're gonna have to yield!

An explosion of massive proportions occurs on Gate Guardian!  
Seriously, what the hell rhymes with the word guardian?  
Thus, the Paradox Brothers lose this duel!

Para: We'll be back with kung-fu!  
Dox: Next time, you'll spew drool!

The Paradox Brothers throw a smoke bomb and leave!

Yoshi: So wait, what the hell does that mean?

…WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?

Yoshi:…hey…we're not rhyming.  
Waluigi: I think I'm gonna miss the Paradox Brothers.  
Mario: Oh please, they'll probably be back in a few chapters or something. [EPIC FORESHADOWING?] Now let's get out of here and find the others.

Meanwhile in Group…3…oh yeah…

Mr. L: You know what, screw this. Yeah, I'm not doing this.

Mr. L throws a bomb!

Mr. L: NO! It is NOT just a bomb! It's an L-BOMB! WHICH WILL DESTROY ALL THE NON-L'D CHARACTERS INSTANTLY!

…and you think I'm gonna let you do that?

Mr. L: …dammit.

WELL, WHAT THE HELL SHOULD WE DO FOR THE GROUP 3 BATTLE CHOICE OF THE MAIN CHARACTER?

0: Battle Royale!

1: Decide ourselves!

2: Make a really big-

Mr. L: Hold it! Did you suggest a Battle Royale?

…sure?

Mr. L: LET THE BLOOD FLOW DOWN THE STREETS AS THE MOST IMMENSE BATTLE ROYALE TAKES PLACE FOR THE SPOT OF A MAIN CHARACTER!

The other team looks at each other and…holy crap, that was quick.

Cackletta & Fawful emerge from the smoke! As spirits!

Cackletta: Eyaheheheheh! I'm free! Free to do whatever I desire! Free from the bonds of any mortal fleshling! Free from-*GASP*  
Mr. L: You okay there?  
Cackletta: *gasp*!  
Fawful: No, no, no! The mistress Cackletta, who is my master, cannot function in this form which is not stable! We must take over the body of another, or else perish into another abysmal realm of destruction and pain!  
BMLX: PROBLEM SOLVED: SPRAYING STABILIZING MIST.

Brobot MLX hits Cackletta's spirit with a strange mist! Cackletta's spirit form becomes stable!

Cackletta: Ahhhhh…much better.  
Mr. L: You know, you seem to be in a bit of peril.  
KR: Perhaps you should join us for the time being.  
Mr. L: Us? What's that supposed to mean?  
KR: I have made up my mind. I'm joining forces with you, Mr. L. Whoever you work for, I want to assist him. Or her. Cackletta, I suggest you do the same.  
Cackletta: Fawful, what do you suggest?  
Fawful: My suggestion filled with the wisdom of a royal advisor towards his master is that we take them upon their offer of mysteriousness like the curtain of darkness of night! With what they may have, we may possess it, like a mutual bonding between cows and man, where cow gives man milk and man gives cow goodness!  
Cackletta: Fair enough. I will take you up on your generous offer, based off the reasoning and because that mist felt soooo goooood.  
Mr. L: Excellent! We should join up with my master!  
Cackletta: Just who is your master and what does he plan to do?  
Mr. L: The master's identity will be revealed secretly to you in due time, but as for his plan, he wishes to prevent the heroes from gaining the legendary Power Stars!  
Cackletta: Power Stars? You mean like miniature Beanstars?  
Mr. L: Smaller than Beanstar, and they only need to be in groups to amass their unlimited power!  
Cackletta: And they look like this, yes?

Cackletta reveals the Power Stars she has been carrying after stealing it from Faun!

Mr. L: *smiles broadly* Oh yes, you will make a fine addition to our ranks.  
?: Hold it right there!

The villains turn and see none other than our heroes!

Mario: Cackletta? I thought I got rid of you back in the Beanbean Kingdom!  
Cackletta: Yet I am back from the Great Beyond! Believe me, the Underwhere isn't a very good place to be in. It's so BORING down there.  
Fawful: Fink-rats! We must make our escape as swift as a jaguar wearing rocket boots on slippery soap!  
Yoshi: …what?  
Mr. L: We already have the Power Stars of this world! We don't need to fight you here! But soon, you shall learn of the true power of our master! And our new recruits!

Mr. L throws a smoke bomb and the villains disappear.

Yoshi: Dammit, what is it with bad guys and smoke bombs?  
Mario: I don't know, but things just got a lot harder.  
Waluigi: Great, just great…

…

…"Hello?"

The villains appear in a mysterious dungeon hallway. ? appears, robed in darkness.

?: Was your mission successful?  
Mr. L: Very much so, my master. We have new recruits to our team: Cackletta & Fawful.  
Cackletta: The pleasure is all mine.  
?: Excellent. You two will make very worthy allies on our side.  
Mr. L: How was your visit, master?  
?: Profitable. I only wait in anticipation for my agents in the desert to complete their ritual. In the meantime, Cackletta, I have a favor to ask. Think of it as your first assignment.  
Cackletta: Indeed I shall, O master.

…  
…

(Mar 10, 2009 - Jun 16, 2009)


	10. Ch 9: The Great Luigi Escape

AN: Warning once again! This chapter contains references to an R-rated horror film series! It also holds a lot of epicness! Be wary, as viewing either could result in one's head asploding! But somehow, I don't think that'll hurt you guys too much.

Chapter 9: The Great Luigi Escapé!

The heroes, defeated in the battle of Hazy Maze Cave, though it was really just a bunch of rioting and random appearances by various media-related loonies, return finally to Peach's Castle. Though their total number of Power Stars is no greater than when they entered, as it normally is, they are determined to find newfound support in their new battle against the mysterious ?, and his new, ever-growing army.

With the heroes returned safely to the castle, they proceed onward with their mission to…well, you know…

Yoshi: Know what?

Well, gonna go save Luigi, right? It's pretty much in the title.

Yoshi: Why's it spelled "escapé"?

Sounds cool. Anyway, the group decides to head out into the backyard of the castle.

Yoshi: Backyard? What backyard? And why are we-

JUST FOLLOW THE FREAKING SCRIPT! IN any case, they arrive to find the field filled with-

Yoshi: I thought it was a backyard. Now it's a field?

…it's a fielded backyard. Better?

Yoshi:…not really…

*sigh* In any case it's filled with Boos.

Gary: BOOS? EEK!  
Lucky: What's wrong with Boos?  
Gary: They're…they're…not human.  
Everyone else: Uuggghhhh…  
Yoshi: Gary, they're ghosts. They're not supposed to BE human.  
Gary: Truthfully, yes, but they were ONCE human.  
Yoshi: Why do I get the strangest feeling every horror movie is going to be involved with this sense.  
Gary: I see dead people.  
Yoshi:…let's go find the next world.

Heh heh, funny story about that.

Yoshi: Oh please don't tell me it's NOT here!

Oh, it's here…in a Boo's stomach…

Yoshi: o_O Boos have stomachs?

Not really. Have fun. And Mr. Popo says, "Bye."

Yoshi: o_o  
Mario: Well, looks like we have to do this the old fashioned way.  
DK: Beat the non-living tar out of 'em?  
Mario: No. We have to:

PROCEED TO ACT LIKE COWARDS AND SNEAK ATTACK THEM WITH GROUND POUNDS!

…

DK: That's the plan?  
Mario: Pretty much.  
Everyone else: Uuugggghhhh…

And so, after restlessly cowering before Boos so as to get the jump on them, and by gaining coins and such, the group finally encounters a rather large Boo. After proceeding with their lame and un-action-packed strategy, they ground-pound the Boo into submission and discover a small cage.

Mario: o_O WTF? Cage?  
Yoshi: That's pretty random. I hope this isn't the world we need to go into.  
?: It sure is.

Mr. Popo appears!

Heroes: O_O WTF?  
Popo: That's right. You get to go in there.  
Yoshi:…wait, which Popo are you?  
Popo: Bye!

Mr. Popo pushes the heroes onto the cage, which sucks them in promptly.

Yoshi: Abridged, I see.

THE HEROES ARE FALLING INTO THE PORTAL!

When the heroes finally land, they hit the ground. Hard.

Yoshi: Gee, tha-*slams into ground*

…

…

"Are those the ones you're referring to?"  
"Very much, Big Boo."  
"Eyahahahaha! They look like nothing! And no way will they survive my lair of doom!"  
"Do NOT underestimate them, Boo. They are NOT to be trifled with."  
"Please! They landed face first on impact! They won't survive that, much less the house!"  
"Still, this isn't Monster House! Don't worry, I'll watch Luigi. Just take care of them."  
"Hehe, no problem."

…  
…

The heroes finally awake from their strange unconscious slumber.

Yoshi: Well that was a strange nap we took while we were unconscious.

…I just said that.

Yoshi: Yes, I know.  
Waluigi: Well sir, until we meet again, and the case is sol-ved!

…moving right along, the heroes look and find an enormous house in their midst. Nearby is what appears to be a tool shed.

Waluigi: Let's go into the tool shed!  
Mario: Um…why?  
Waluigi: So we can say stuff like "Meanwhile, in the tool shed!"  
DK: Oh, goddammit, Waluigi, nobody's going to get that.  
?: As a matter of fact…

A Boo appears before them!

Boo: I did.  
Yoshi: Oh great. A Boo.  
Boo: Ooohh, I'm a ghooost, oooohh!  
Yoshi: Oh, stop it. We already know that. Right Waluigi?

…

Yoshi: Waluigi?  
Waluigi: *lying down on the ground, his face pale as a Boo*  
Boo: I take offense to that!  
Aroramage: If you know what's good for you…oh Grambi, who cares? Everyone freakin' breaks the Fourth Wall in this CARA.  
Yoshi: That's not true.  
Aroramage: Alright, name 1 person in the CARA who HASN'T broken the Fourth Wall.  
Yoshi: Um…um…uhhh…Grambi?  
Grambi: I see all, know all, and think that we shouldn't be making LittleKuriboh, TeamFourStar, and DarkSideIncorporated references.  
Yoshi:...  
Mario: So where should we go?  
DK: Through the most direct path! The front door!

Gary: Of course! Cause they'll never see THAT coming.  
Boo: So, you've decided to go through the front, eh?  
Yoshi: Wait…are you an agent of the big bad boss in this hectic haunted house?  
Boo: Um…no…not…really…  
Yoshi:...GET HIM!

The heroes lunge toward the Boo! Which is proven useless because the Boo becomes intangible!

Yoshi: Goddammit!

The heroes fall flat on their faces. Again. And the Boo floats away through the front door of the Scary Mary and disappears.

Yoshi: After it!

The heroes foolishly follow the Boo through the front door. Something no one should ever do in their life. Follow a ghost through a door. It never works out. In any case, they have entered:

BIIIIIG BOOOOOOO'S HAAAAAAAUUUUUUNNNNNNT!

…yeah. Anyways, they enter inside the house and find nothing but what appears to be the first floor, a couple of doors, and…a TV screen?

Yoshi: Oh dear Grambi, please tell me you're not seriously going to-

The TV turns on, revealing the Jigsaw puppet!

JSP: Hello, heroes. I'd like to play a little game.  
Yoshi: Oh, you have GOT to be ****ing kidding me this time! Granted, we've had random users from your dimension battle us, strange movie-related creatures, but come on! The SAW series?  
Aroramage: What? It's appropriate!  
Yoshi: Gah!  
JSP: You are all considered the saviors of a generation, the leaders of a free people. But you forget that you hurt those you need to bring to justice. You punish with your fists what should be punished by the law. Now you shall play a game where justice will become your ultimate salvation – if you play by the rules. Inside one of the rooms of this house, there is an old piano. Inside the piano is a clue to where the hostage can be found. Unfortunately, you are now sealed within the house for the next 3 hours, without any chance for escape.

The front door shuts off tightly!

Yoshi: Oh crap.  
JSP: Soon, you will be breathing in a deadly nerve gas which will kill you in 2 hours.  
Mario: Does the plot of Saw 2 tell you anything?  
Waluigi: Oh, sh*t, where's the crazy bitch?  
JSP: Not to worry. Find the piano and retrieve the clue. Follow the trail of breadcrumbs and you will be able to leave with the hostage.  
Yoshi: And you're giving us 2 hours to do this in?  
JSP: The game will begin in 30 seconds. Live or die. The choice is yours.

The TV is turned off as a mysterious purple fog fills the room.

Yoshi: Isn't nerve gas invisible and lacks a scent of any kind?  
Aroramage: Just work with me on this one for once, okay?  
Mario: Great, so now we have exactly 2 hours from the moment we breathe in this stuff to find the hostage, whoever it is.  
DK: Guess the game wouldn't be as fun if there wasn't a challenge.  
Yoshi: Alright then, let's get moving! Find that piano!

The heroes venture into the house, with only 2 hours until their untimely doom.

1:59:32 running…

Meanwhile, in a mysterious room towards the top…

Big Boo and Cackletta's spirit are floating around. Nearby is a camera with the Jigsaw Puppet nearby.

BB: Oh man! This will be good! Now they are all trapped within the house until they either find us or are killed by the gas!  
Cackletta: Eyaheheheh! This evil plan of ours is going to rid the master of our problem once and for all! And all we needed was a voice modulator, an old puppet, and a video camera!

The two continue their laughter as a nearby screen shows the heroes walking towards a particular room…  
1:58:47 running…

The door to another room is opened, and inside is a piano.

Yoshi: Wow, that was easy.  
Waluigi: Quick, let's get the clue and get out of here!  
Gary: Yeah. This place is giving me the willies!  
Mario: Oh, pipe down, will ya? There's nothing in here to be afraid of.  
W&G: Really?  
Mario: …yet. There's nothing to be afraid of yet, that's what I meant.

The heroes approach the piano. Its dust covered wood gleams in the pale moonlight.  
Waluigi: Like the devil.

...

Waluigi: What?

Mario looks and sees a slip of paper in the piano while Yoshi strokes the dust off.

Yoshi: Well this is just plain weird.  
Mario: Don't worry, I've got it.

Mario reaches into the piano to get the clue. Suddenly, white wood appears!

Yoshi: Mario, look out!

Mario quickly retrieves the paper before the piano bites down! The piano becomes rabid! It attacks the heroes!

BATTLE 1 START!

Heroes  
Yoshi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
CC: 40 HP, 30 SP  
Waluigi: 40 HP, 30 SP  
DK: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Mario: 40 HP, 35 SP  
Lucky: 30 HP, 45 SP  
Gary: 35 HP, 40 SP

Animated Instrumental Ghost (AIG)!  
Piano: 0 HP, 25 SP

Yoshi: *looks at stats* Hey, wait a minute. What's with the 0 HP?  
Waluigi: It must be…a ZOMBIE! :O  
Mario: No, it must be immortal.  
Waluigi: A.k.a. a ZOMBIE! :O  
DK: No, I'm sure it's a goof in the system because this really shouldn't be an enemy in any situation.

…

Waluigi: A.k.a. a-  
Yoshi: GRAMBI, IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA POP YOU!  
Waluigi:…zombie!  
Yoshi: Argh!  
Mario: Well, we already got the clue, so this is just a battle of survival.  
Waluigi: I volunteer Crimson Crusader for being lunchmeat.  
CC: Hey!  
Mario: No one's going to be any kind of meat. Unless you like cooking meat on old charcoal.

Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at Piano! It is set ablaze and burns into ashes!

BATTLE 1 END!

Yoshi:…well, that was a waste of time.

The heroes look at the clue. It says, "LOOK AT THE WALL." Doing what the piece of paper demands, the heroes look and see-

HA, NOOB! THE SUSPENSE HAS KILLED YOU. GAME OVER…

Aroramage: Wait, what?  
JSP: Yes. Game over. The suspense of waiting has killed off your readers! Without the readers, an author is nothing! And now to salvage the story, you'll have to play a game.  
Aroramage: But you're only here for the cameo.  
JSP: And it's gonna be the best cameo of all.  
Aroramage:…and why am I involved?  
JSP: The reader chose 9 on your roulette, saying, "Oh the suspense is KILLING me!"  
Aroramage: That was just a filler thing saying I get free-range over what happens.  
JSP: Wait, seriously?  
Aroramage: Seriously. Just as long as I choose one of the roulette options.  
JSP:…great. Just great.  
Aroramage: Just go back to making SAW 16 or whatever number you're on by now.  
JSP: SAW 6! WITH A CAMEO OF 6! STARRING 6!  
Aroramage: …OH CRAP, EVIL #666!  
JSP: Mwahahahaha-*hack, cough, wheeze*  
Aroramage:…moving on…

_aroramage makes his cameo! He picks choice #…_

The heroes look up to find the ever-original tape and tape recorder!

Yoshi:…well that was anticlimactic.  
Mario: You're telling me.

Mario grabs the tape recorder and the tape, puts the tape in the tape recorder, and presses play.

?: We now return to the pirate's special, _Pirates of the Caribbean: The Never-Ending Search for Immortality_, the only pirate's movie that lasts forever.  
?2: Yargh, I be celebrating the wonderfulness that is this well directed film!  
?3: I just wish that the movie wasn't so long.  
?4: Quiet, or you're going to ruin the b-

The tape is cut off for a moment. Then…

JSP: *voice* Well done. You've gotten past the AIG representative. Now comes the real fun. If you haven't noticed already, this house has four different floors: the first floor, where you started; the basement, where all things end; the second floor, where all things rise before the fall; and the third floor, where the captive resides. Before you can reach the top, you must first hit rock bottom!

Suddenly, a trapdoor opens beneath the heroes! They all fall into the basement!

…

…  
Meanwhile, in the tool shed…

…

Mr. L arrives on the scene. He is gathering materials inside of the tool shed. Brobot MLX is with him.

Mr. L: Now we just take this, and some of this, and a little bit of that, and we should be able to fine tune certain parts well enough to perfection!  
BMLX: ANALYSIS: EQUIPMENT ACQUIRED. PROCEDURE TO ULTIMATE WEAPON COMMENCE.  
Mr. L: Yes. Soon, our master will be able to harness the power of the stars we've collected, and then we shall use the death machine to annihilate the so-called "heroes" once and for all. With Krillen's intelligent design, the Master's plan, and Cackletta's spiritual diversion, nothing can stop us from completing our task!  
BMLX: OBJECTIVE: RULE THE UNIVERSE. COMPLETION RATING: 30%  
Mr. L: Oh, now, come on! I'm sure we've gotten further than that!  
BMLX: ANALYSIS: COMPLETED COLLECTION OF NECESSARY TOOLS AND SET UP DIVERSION. FOLLOWED BLUEPRINTS. COLLECTED POWER STARS. ONLY 30%  
Mr. L: Well, when you put it that way…

…

…  
Meanwhile, inside the basement…

1:28:17 remaining…

The heroes wake up and discover they are in the basement.

Yoshi: You already said that.

Well, I'm not perfect, okay?

Lucky: What happened?  
DK: We must've fallen through the ceiling into the basement.  
Mario: Right where he wanted us to go, I imagine.  
Yoshi: Oh right! The tape recorder!

Yoshi finds the tape, puts it back in the recorder, and resumes the play.

JSP: *voice* -you must first hit rock bottom!  
Yoshi: Musta backed up a little.  
JSP: *voice* Now that you have reached the bottom floor, it's time for you to do what heroes do best: rise to the top. You will fight many challenges along the way to reaching the top, and in the end, some of you might not make it. You will be put through extreme mental and physical torture in a sense. If you can't take on what you are about to face, then it is best you stop here and now. In fact, allow me to give one of you that opportunity. Inside this basement is a vial of antidote for the poison gas you have been breathing in. Here's a hint: seek out the damsel in distress or else you will be the damsel! Hahahahahaha!

The tape cuts off.

Yoshi:…wow…just…wow…  
Mario: Alright, so there's an antidote. That's good news.  
DK: Only problem is that there's only one vial of it.  
Mario: We can all just take a small sip.  
Yoshi: But that means we'd have to divide it evenly amongst the seven of us. That may or may not be a sufficient amount.  
Mario: Then it would at least keep us alive for that much longer.  
CC: *sniff* That's so noble of you Mario.  
Waluigi: *sniff* Really good of you, mate.  
Lucky: Well even then, we can't divide it until we find it, so let's get moving!  
Everyone: Yeah!

And so, teamwork and friendship are about to once again pay off in the face of treachery and fear…yeah…

Anyway, so the heroes search throughout the basement, only to find most of it has water on the floor and that there is a lift and strange carnival music coming from what might be a carousel.

Yoshi: What do you suppose that music is?  
Waluigi: I don't know and REALLY don't want to find out!  
Lucky: What's a matter, laddy? Afraid of carnivals much?  
Waluigi: Trust me, you've seen one carnival, you've seen them all. Especially when it's *grabs a flashlight and turns it on beneath his chin to give him that scary look* THE DAAAAARK CARNIVALLLLL!  
Heroes:…  
Waluigi: It doesn't sound scary, but once you go there, you NEVER want to have a pie thrown in your face ever again!  
Heroes:…  
Waluigi: It's freaking scary as hell! It's scary as hell! It's hell!  
Heroes:…  
Waluigi: And never try and eat the food. BECAUSE IT EATS BACK!  
Heroes:…  
Waluigi: WHY ARE YOU NOT SCARED?  
Mario: Because we at least have half a brain.  
DK: Besides, that's not scary at all.  
Yoshi: You wimp.

And so the fearless adventurers walked through the door from which the carnival music came from. Except for Waluigi, who is instead dragged through the door. Inside, the music is louder and there are several pictures of shy Boos.

Waluigi: AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!  
Yoshi: What? What is it?  
Waluigi: It's…BOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

…

Yoshi: You have GOT to be kidding me.  
Waluigi: Hey, come on! Boooos, man! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

In the center of the room is a pedestal, and atop the pedestal is a vial of blue liquid.

Mario: That must be the antidote!  
Waluigi: What makes you say that?

The antidote is labeled "ANTIDOTE", with a huge sign obviously displayed as antidote.

Mario:…call it a hunch.  
?: NOT. SO. FAST!

A Boo appears from a nearby painting!

Boo1: I. AM. HERE. TO. ANNIHILATE. YOU. ALL!  
Mario:…you've got to be kidding.  
Yoshi: They sent a slightly speech-impaired Boo to fight us.  
Boo1: NO. NOT. SPEECH. IMPAIRED. JUST. LIKE. TO. TALK. LIKE. THIS!  
Heroes:…  
Boo1: CHOOSE. ONE. PERSON. TO. BEAT. THE. EVER. DEAD. CRAP. OUT. OF. ME. IF. THAT. IS. POSSIBLE!  
CC: Why?  
Boo1: TO. FIGHT. FOR. THE. ANTIDOTE!  
DK: What time we got?  
Mario: 1:16:27 remaining.  
Waluigi: I'll do it!  
Yoshi: Fine.

…

Yoshi:…wait, what?  
Lucky: Poor Waluigi. He'd be the weakest link in a plate of sausages.

…

Yoshi:…wait…what?  
Waluigi: Yeah! I'm gonna kick some invisible intangible ghost ass!  
Boo1: WHICH. IS. PHYSICALLY. IMPOSSIBLE!  
Waluigi: Prepare to DIE! Again!  
Yoshi: Want to go watch some Naruto The Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show?  
Gary: Yay! I love to smoke cigarettes! It tastes like burning cause it's working!  
Waluigi: Name your game!  
Boo1: GAME? WHERE. WE. GO. WE. DO. NOT. NEED. GAMES!  
Yoshi: Must you talk like that?  
Boo1: YES. IT. IS. DRAMATIC!  
Waluigi: Then where are we going?  
?: Where else would you go for the greatest show on earth?

MC Ballyhoo and Big Top appear!

Yoshi: What? Seriously, what the ****?  
Aroramage: Look, I've had a lot going on right now. My girlfriend's moving far away, I got my wisdom teeth surgically removed, and I've been playing lots of Mario Party 8. Cut me some slack!  
MCB: Lookitahere! Time to party Duel Style, yeah! And where better to go to then THE STAR CARNIVAL!  
Yoshi: But I thought that already happened.  
MCB: The Star Carnival can happen whenever, wherever, whatever the reason, because of whyever with whoever! However you slice it, we dice it!  
Waluigi: Wait. Let me get this straight. We're going to battle. For the antidote. In a time-consuming game of Mario Party?  
MCB: Precise-a-mente, senor!  
Mario: You know what, Waluigi, you have fun getting that antidote. The rest of us are gonna run around the house and find some antidotes ourselves.  
Waluigi: Fine! I can take on this specter-

Waluigi closes his eyes, pulls his cap over his eyes, and reaches into his overalls, and-

Waluigi: -and send it to hell!

-pulls out a rose.

Heroes:…WTF?  
Yoshi: Waluigi. Why (oh Grambi, why?) do you have that rose?  
Waluigi: Just for my very special victory pose!  
Mario: That better be equipped with special magical powers or something.  
Waluigi: Nope. Just sparkles as I pull it out.  
Heroes: *anime fall*  
Mario: Fine. We'll go to the first floor and work on antidotes and Luigi and such.  
Waluigi: Hasta luego, senores!

The rest of the heroes leave the room.

MCB: Ho-ho-ho! Time to get this party started! And the board we'll be playing on is: KING BOO'S HAUNTED HIDEAWAY!  
Waluigi: o_o What have I gotten myself into…

…

…

Meanwhile, with the heroes…

Yoshi: You think Waluigi will be okay?  
DK: Yeah, he'll be fine.  
Lucky: No need to worry about the lad. He'll do just fine, and get his own special antidote as a reward.  
CC: I think there was a lift somewhere over this way.

The heroes walk down the hallway and sure enough, a metal caged lift is at the very end. They all gather onto the lift, which automatically goes to the top. When they reach there, the room is empty – except for the Mister I!

Mario: It's a Mister I! Quick! Run around it!

After running around it and making it dizzy, the heroes gain some coins. Yay, coins! They then promptly leave through the conveniently placed nearby doorway, only to find that they have come out of the tool shed (one watermelon, please!) and are now once again in the front of the house on the outside.

Yoshi: Wait, I thought the doors we're locked so we couldn't leave the house.  
Mario: We were.  
Yoshi: Then how did we get on the outside?  
Mario: Basement route to tool shed.  
Yoshi: o_O  
DK: Something's wrong. If we could get out of the house…

…

Meanwhile, with the villains…

The heroes are on a nearby monitor outside the tool shed.

Cackletta: WTF? HOW DID THEY GET OUT?  
BB: You know…I have no idea…  
Fawful: They were sneaking like finkrats through the basement and found the secretive lift which lifted them to the surface like a bungie cord of salvation!  
Cackletta: You think you know a hero, and then this happens! Now they'll know something's up! YOU! YOU SCREWED THIS UP! TAKE CARE OF IT!  
BB: Bleh! Fine! But only until the King gets back!  
Cackletta: The King's gonna be busy! In the meanwhile, I'm in charge, and I order you to TAKE CARE OF THIS!  
BB: Bleh! Fine!

Big Boo disappears through the wall.

Fawful: Cackletta, we can't wait for him! We can't sit around like molding spaghetti noodles waiting for the chef to throw us at the wall to test our goodness! We must flee! Flee like flying monkeys of Oz who seek out Dorothy for the Wicked Witch of the West!  
Cackletta: Sometimes, Fawful, I don't understand you. But there is no need to flee. Not while we're here!  
Fawful: You are plotting a nasty plot to smack those finkrats like flies with a flyswatter! You have a plan?  
Cackletta: Yes. Yes I do.

…

…  
…

Yoshi: You know, come to think of it, where did The Red Chao go?  
Mario: I haven't seen him since the volcano incident.  
Aroramage: Oh, he's doing just fine in his special place…

Meanwhile, in a special place…

TRC: Hey! Where the **** am I?  
?: Yargh, not to worry, matey!

BMS/Crystal King/MSM1 appears in pirate garb along with a gang of infamous pirates:

Luffy, the Crazy Rubberband-Man!  
Admiral Razorbeard, the Cutthroat Terror!  
Tetra, the Piratical Beauty!  
Cortez, the Skeletal Menace!  
Ridley, the Cosmic Horror!  
Cecil, the Red Wing Leader!  
And Jonathan Jones, the Bloodthirsty Shark!

BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh!  
TRC:…dude…how long have you BEEN here?  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Long enough, compadre. Long enough.  
TRC: Seriously, though, how long have you been here?  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died.  
TRC:…yeah, that's great. But seriously, where'd you get these guys?  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: That be of no importance as of yet. For now, we set sail! To the main plot!

And so the crew of the _Vengeance_ set sail for the main story, hoping to once again be reunited in grand union with the epic saga of Super Mario 64 DS CARA.

BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: And he said MY name was long.  
TRC: Say, where'd this ocean come from anyway?  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Who cares?

(*FORESHADOWING*)

Meanwhile, back at the plot…

Our heroes have, under mysterious circumstances, found themselves outside of the very house that was supposedly inescapable, which they escaped via a secret service elevator in the basement. Noting this, they believe that something is very wrong.

Yoshi: I believe that something is very wrong.  
Mario: The fact that we managed to get out of a house that is supposed to be inescapable is mysterious.  
Yoshi: I'm starting to think that this isn't real.  
CC: What, the house isn't really there? Or was it ever there to begin with?  
Yoshi:…well, yeah, something like that I suppose. But I'm talking about another thing. It's already been an hour since we've been exposed to that nerve gas. Shouldn't we have experienced some sort of symptom?  
Mario: Maybe it comes as a sudden shock.  
CC: Like DEATH.

…

CC:…I miss Waluigi.  
Yoshi: I think that he's been set up.  
Lucky: You mean like a trap?  
Yoshi: Precisely. The nerve gas isn't a real danger.  
Gary: But it was a cloud of purple fog! Purple fog usually means BAD.  
Yoshi: It also means purple fog, a.k.a. purple-colored fog, a.k.a. fog juice with added in purple-colored food coloring into a fog machine to create said fog of the color purple.

AN: I don't know if this actually works. Feel free to tell me about it!

…

CC: What?  
Yoshi: It's fog colored purple with no harmful side effects.  
Lucky: Which probably means that back there, Waluigi-  
Yoshi: -is stuck in some sort of trap.  
CC: Speaking of missing persons, has anyone seen DK?

The group looks around them and are stunned to find that DK is nowhere in sight!

Mario: Quick! To the mansion!  
Gary: Great idea! Let's go straight to the house of the people trying to kill us!  
Yoshi: We can play state-the-bad-idea later, but now we got to save 'em!

The remaining heroes run into the house, hoping to stop the madness that dwells from within…

Meanwhile, in the basement…

*cue the intro music!* KING BOO'S HAUNTED HIDEAWAY! Waluigi vs. Boo!

MCB: Well, well, well! Here we are at the scary harry, the monster mansion, the haunted hideaway! Ghouls and ghosts alike are floating and scurrying and haunting about in classical scary format so that you can truly experience the terror found within the realm of King Boo! Let the terror SEEP INTO YOUR SOUL…any questions bout the board?  
Waluigi: *pale as a ghost…hehe, it's thematic* O.O  
MCB: No? Well then, just gather 2 Stars from King Boo by buying them from him for 10 coins apiece! Let's roll to see who goes first!

Two Dice Blocks appear over Boo and Waluigi! The two whack the blocks! Boo rolls an 8! Waluigi rolls a 9!

MCB: And it's settled! Waluigi will go first, followed by Boo!  
Boo: I. WILL. WIN. THIS. FIGHT!  
Waluigi: Bring it on, Ghoulman!  
Boo: WHY. WOULD. YOU. CALL. ME. THAT?  
Waluigi:…well, Boo is generic. I thought Ghoulman would be pun-ny, stupid, and yet strangely awesome.  
Boo: FINE. THEN. I. AM. GHOULMAN!  
MCB: Before we get started, I'll give each of you 10 coins!

Waluigi and Ghoulman receive 10 coins apiece! Let's get this party started!

Turn 1

Waluigi rolls first! Waluigi whacks the Dice Block! Waluigi gets a 6!

Waluigi: Alright, on my way!

Heading down from the start, Waluigi enters the official board! He passes a Blue space and an Orange VS Space before hitting a fork, aiming towards the left and down. On the down turn, a Whomp is in his way.

Waluigi: I thought we killed you guys back at the fortress.  
Whomp#1: GRARGH! HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP!  
Waluigi: Why? Does that make you the Last Whompbender?  
Whomp#1: I THOUGHT THAT SHOW WAS GREAT! YOU MUST DIE!  
Waluigi: o_o Definitely know where I'm going!

Waluigi forks left! He passes over a Green space and a Red space before entering the next room! He passes a Blue space and lands on a Green space! The Green space activates! Next to it is a mysterious ancient treasure chest.

Waluigi: $o$ Money!

The chest rattles and shakes before gently opening, revealing an ominous pink light.

Waluigi: O.O Light!

Suddenly, pink Boos ambush Waluigi!

Waluigi: OoO AMBUSH!

The Pink Boos attack Waluigi and steal 10 coins!

Waluigi:…GAWD-DAMMIT!

Meanwhile, somewhere far, far away…

An assistant frantically runs to the mighty Gawd.

Assistant: Gawd! Gawd! We have a damming request again!  
Gawd: AGAIN? WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND ASKING ME TO DAMN ALL THESE THINGS? CAN'T THEY SEE I'M BUSY? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?  
Assistant: I know, sir, but not fulfilling the requests of people requesting damnation of others is a request for higher powers to eliminate us all!  
Gawd: NO! I WILL NOT CONTINUE TO BE APART OF THIS OPERATION! THIS ENDS TONIGHT! I'M GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS, AND I'M SURE THE FOURTH WALL IS BEHIND IT!  
Assistant: Do you request the boat, oh Gawd?  
Gawd: YES! WE SET SAIL…FOR THE PLOT!

And so, the crew of the _Divinity_ set sail for the main story, hoping to get to the bottom of this damned business we like to call Super Mario 64 DS CARA.

Gawd: Me, that's a long name!  
Assistant: Say, where'd this ocean come from anyway?  
Gawd: Who cares?

Meanwhile, back at the board game plot device…

It's Ghoulman's turn! Ghoulman smacks the Dice Block! Ghoulman gets an 8!

Ghoulman: HERE. I. COME!

Ghoulman moves down two spaces, forks left, across four spaces, going past Waluigi in the process, and hits a fork in the road! Ghoulman chooses to go straight, towards the Whomp!

Whomp#2: PAY ME 10 COINS SO WE CAN REBUILD OUR HOME!  
Ghoulman: AND. SO. I. CAN. PASS. THIS. WAY?  
Whomp#2: DAT TOO!  
Waluigi: So much yelling…

Ghoulman pays the Whomp's fee of 10 coins! Whomp moves over to block the other path! Ghoulman has no more coins! He proceeds two spaces, lands on blue, and gains 3 coins!

Turn 2

It's Waluigi's turn! Waluigi whacks the Dice Block! Waluigi gets a 9!

Waluigi: Here I go!

Waluigi first forks left, then moves past 3 blue spaces, a yellow space, then 3 more blue spaces, then passes a red space before coming across another fork, this time going up or down. Waluigi chooses to go up! He finally lands on a blue space and gets 3 coins! It's Ghoulman's turn! Ghoulman smacks the Dice Block! Ghoulman gets a 9!

Ghoulman: HA. HA. HA!

Ghoulman follows Waluigi's path and passes Waluigi! He then proceeds to head up 2 spaces ahead of Waluigi, lands on Blue, and gets 3 coins!

Turn 3

It's Waluigi's turn! Waluigi whacks the Dice Block! Waluigi gets a 10!

Waluigi: Here I go!

Waluigi passes Ghoulman and runs across a coin block! He smacks it and gains 1 coin! He then proceeds to another fork going up-down! He chooses to go up! He eventually lands on a blue space, gaining 3 coins! It's Ghoulman's turn! Ghoulman smacks the Dice Block! Ghoulman gets a 5!

Ghoulman: HA. HA. HA!

Ghoulman follows Waluigi's footsteps towards the coin block and gets 1 coin!

MCB: I wonder if we rigged that to just give one coin.

Ghoulman continues forward and lands on a DK space! DK appears out of nowhere!

DK: Oo-Ah! What am I doing here?  
MCB: You're here because Ghoulman has landed on a DK space, meaning you get to provide something beneficial to the game!  
DK: Oh...well, alright! Let's block those pitfalls! (How did I even know what to do? Maybe I've done this before or something…)

DK blocks all pitfalls!

MCB: Now DK will stop Pink Boos from dropping you into a Pitfall and reward you with a Star!  
Waluigi: Wait a minute, so DK's going to give us a prize for showing up while he does all the dirty work?  
MCB: Pretty much! How lopsided are we?  
Waluigi: -_-  
DK: I'll be waiting!  
MCB: And so will Bowser, now that all DK spaces have turned into Bowser spaces!  
Waluigi: WHAT? BOWSER'S HERE?  
MCB: Well, not yet. If you land on a Bowser space, Bowser will appear, but even then, it's not recommended that you land on one anyway.  
Waluigi: -_-

Meanwhile, on the inside of the frightening fantasyland known as the mansion…

The heroes have reentered the house of doom, discovering that a mysterious staircase to the second floor has mysteriously appeared.

Gary: -_- How convenient.  
Yoshi: I think we ought to split into two groups.  
CC: WHAT? YOU WANT US TO FURTHER DIVIDE OUR NUMBERS?  
Yoshi:...we've got enough people as is anyway, and I don't think it's a bad idea.  
Gary: It's a bad idea.  
Yoshi: We can split it pretty evenly.  
Gary: No we can't! We have-

Gary proceeds to perform a headcount! Headcount reveals four members!

Gary: O_O Holy crap, where did Lucky go?  
Yoshi: Well, it divvies up the team split. Mario, take your pick.  
Mario: I'll go with Crimson Crusader on the first floor. You can have Gary.  
CC: :D Happy fun time with my idol!  
Mario:...uh, Yoshi-  
Yoshi: Too late! You called him! See you guys later!

Yoshi and Gary dash up the stairs before Mario can change his mind.

Mario:…damn, where did everybody go?

…

…

"Master?"  
"Yes?"  
"The machine is working perfectly. We will soon be ready to test it."  
"Good, good. And how is Bowser doing?"  
"I'm not sure. Last I heard, he was heading towards the docks."  
"The docks?"  
"Yes sir. He mentioned something about a fleet, I believe."  
"I imagine he's preparing it for departure, yes?"  
"I would think so, but I can't be sure."  
"In any case, he is probably preparing to make his way towards the Fire Sea. That will be interesting."  
"The Fire Sea? How far away is that? Seeing as the docks themselves consist of water…"  
"It's another world away, but with the power of the stars, it might as well be the next block over."  
"That's good."  
"Have you amassed any more stars since last time?"  
"Not really, sir. I've been busy keeping track of these heroes."  
"That's alright. I have been monitoring Cackletta's actions."  
"Is she handling them?"  
"For the moment. Simple division of the team has slowly taken place."  
"She's separating them?"  
"They say strength in numbers is greater than strength alone."  
"I suppose. I should know, after the Dark World episode."  
"Yes, you should."  
"My apologies for bringing that up, sir."  
"No matter. Thanks to all that we have set up, we'll be ready for these heroes, no matter what they plan on doing."  
"Excellent, sir."  
"By the way, how is our prisoner doing?"  
"Just fine, sir. Just fine…"

…  
…

We find Wario digging through a handmade tunnel of his, desperately trying to get out. Clenched in his teeth is a candle, dripping hot wax slowly onto the dirt on the floor.

Wario: No freaky alien guy, or whatever he is, is going to keep me locked up in here for long! I'm-a gonna get out!

Patch of dirt after patch of dirt, he struggles to dig. After a few minutes, he takes a break and sits down on a nearby rock, immobile from his dig. He places the candle nearby and looks back down where he had been digging from. He has made it a surprisingly long way.

Wario: Geez, I thought I would've been out of this place by now. I wonder where I am.

After several minutes of rest, Wario continues to dig through. Stroke after stroke, shovel after shovel, claw after claw, he slowly progresses through the tunnel. Finally, he strikes something other than dirt.

Wario: What the heck? A barrier?

Tossing aside other flecks of dirt, he sees the shine of metal.

Wario: What the hell?

He looks down at the ground beneath and moves aside the dirt for a bit. No more than three inches down is more metal.

Wario: Where the hell am I?

Using his fist on the first barrier, he punches through the wall. Bending it around like cardboard, Wario looks out and is stunned as to what he sees…

…  
…

We find Yoshi and Gary on the second floor of the mansion (not surprisingly) and are looking around for…something.

Yoshi: *sigh* The people behind this façade.

Right! So they search around the second floor and find-

Yoshi: Nothing! There's not a single clue as to how to find who's behind this!  
Gary: Dang, I thought we'd be able to find SOMETHING.  
Yoshi: Me too. But it doesn't look like that's going to be-  
Gary: Hey look! An entrance to a balcony we never checked.  
Yoshi:…that seems awfully convenient.  
Gary: Let's check it out!

So the duo head out onto the balcony and-

?: Hello, little fleshlings!

*gasp* BIG BOO APPEARS ON THE BALCONY!

Yoshi:…hi.  
Gary: o_o  
BB: Heheheheheh! I've been waiting for you! Now we fight!  
Yoshi: Wait a minute, we just got here, so you're going to just fight us?  
BB: Yes!  
Yoshi: Without any long speeches or dialogues or announcements related to your evil plans?  
BB: Yes!  
Yoshi: Not even an introduction?  
BB: Yes!  
Yoshi:…eh, works for me. BRING IT ON!

BATTLE 2 START!

Goomba Eggs  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 100 HP, 50 SP

Yoshi: *reads team name* Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Goomba Eggs? What the hell, mage?  
Aroramage: You know, it's this kind of insubordination that REALLY PISSES ME OFF!  
Yoshi: But come on. Goomba Eggs? I'm REALLY sure Goombas do not lay eggs.  
Gary: *petrified because of Big Boo, so he has no comment at this time*  
Aroramage: Work with me, here! YOU lay eggs, and he's a Goomba! What, you think a "Goomboshi" would make sense?  
Yoshi: What the hell is that supposed to be?  
Aroramage: WHAT DO YOU THINK? It's a Goomba-fied Yoshi! He's brown, mushroom-shaped, has a tail, and uses his tongue and lays Goomba Eggs!  
Yoshi: Well then use him for that then!  
Aroramage: He's part of my made-up characters file! I don't need to do anything!

Meanwhile, in the Made-up Characters File…

Goomboshi: Hey! That is not cool!  
Shrawful: *incomprehensible Shroobish*!  
Goomboshi: I don't know what that means, but you're right! I think…  
Shrawful: *more Shroobish*!  
Goomboshi:…yeah, let's head for the main story!  
Shrawful: *Shroobish*!

And so, the crew of the _Stupidity_ set sail for-

Goomboshi: Hey! That is NOT our ship's name!

…fine. The crew of the _Imagination_ set sail for the main story, where they seek redemption and a true purpose in their meaningless existence beyond the story known as Super Mario 64 DS CARA.

Goomboshi: Damn you!  
Shrawful: *questioning Shroobish*?  
Goomboshi: Oh, who gives a f-

ANYWAY….

BATTLE 2 RE-START!

The Good Guys (a: happy? Y: Yes.)  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 100 HP, 50 SP

Yoshi jumps high in the air and uses a Ground Pound!

Yoshi: Take this, you evil ghost thing!  
BB: I'M NOT EVIL! OR A THING!

The attack fails as Yoshi goes straight through Big Boo.

BB: I'M A GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!  
Yoshi: Huh…well, that could've gone better.

Gary searches through his Book of Spells!

Yoshi: You still have that thing?  
Gary: Of course! Gotta use it every now and again for situations just like this!  
Yoshi: o_O

Gary used the Book of Spells! Looking through its contents, he discovers a new spell!

Gary: Let's try this on for size!

Gary uses the New Spell! He chants it aloud and then-

Mario and CC are walking around the house, seeking Luigi, DK, and all the other missing persons.

Mario: This is ridiculous. Where is everybody?  
CC: I'm with my idol, so I don't care! :3  
Mario: Ugh...

They enter a room and approach a red floating Mystery Block.

Mario: Aren't these the kind that involve Power Flowers?  
CC:…I don't think we've encountered the switch to turn it on.  
Aroramage: HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT?  
CC: …Internet.  
Aroramage:...  
Mario: Then who's responsible for this?

Meanwhile, back at Peach's Castle…

We find the Toad near the front door standing alone, doing absolutely nothing.

Toad: Good grief, where IS everybody? *yells* HEY! I KNOW YOU OTHER TOADS ARE OUT THERE! COME ON, QUIT PLAYING AROUND!

Siiiiiiiileeeeeeencccccce….

Toad:…Gawd, I'm lonely.  
Gawd: DAMMIT!  
Toad: I sure wish there was something exciting. Like maybe if I were to stand on that strange sun thingy and look to where that light is coming from.

The Toad stands there for a minute before finally deciding to do it ("What the heck, right?"). As he stands and looks up, the strange light envelops him, entrances him, hypnotizes him.

Toad: Ooohh, preeeeeeettyyyyy…

And then, the poor Toad is instantly transported into THE SKY!

Toad:…*Crap! Can't fly!* *falls* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

The Toad falls onto a platform tower in the middle of four towers spaced out from it evenly, and upon this platform the Toad falls onto a red "?" button. Then, a sound is heard as a nearby dotted space of contained air with a "?" labeling it materializes into a red "?" block! The Toad rolls off the switch to find this block above him.

Toad: Ooooooh, pretty.

The Toad stands up, walks to the block, looks at it, and jumps up. The block disappears in a puff of smoke and a single feather falls from it. The Toad catches the feather, which then magically duplicates and gives him wings on his Mushroom Cap!

Toad: Sweet! I'm a ParaToad!

The new ParaToad jumps and flies around the towers, soaring with happiness. That is, until the wings fall off.

Toad:…dammit.

The Toad falls into the clouds below, unsure of his place in the world anymore and praying to Grambi this never happens again…

Mario & CC read the abo-

Aroramage: GAH!

…right…anyway, long story short, they now know what happened. In any case, they move right along with the plot.

Mario: Let's use this!  
CC: How?  
Mario: Simple: whack and grab, power-up, and-

Mario jumps up, hits the block, and a Power Flower pops out, which he grabs immediately and-

Turn 21

To catch up on the game at hand, Waluigi is ahead with 1 Star so far, thanks to DK. Unfortunately, after getting sent back to the beginning, he has gone towards the first Whomp from before, paid 10 coins, and been caught in an endless loop, as the path leads straight into the second King Boo room. The problem: Waluigi has been gaining absolutely NO coins, and has not had 10 coins for a while. Ghoulman, in the meanwhile, explored the board and got kicked back to the start by a pitfall. Now, the two are furiously trying to retrieve the Power Star by snatching at each other's coins.

AN: Okay, so I lost my notes for this. This is a summary of what happened. Actually did play a game where this happened. It. Was. Crazy.

Waluigi: Time to wrap this up with a plot device candy!

Waluigi uses the Plot Device Candy! It automatically allows him to gain 10 coins, advance the necessary amount of spaces to reach King Boo and retrieve the Power Star.

Ghoulman: WHERE. DID. YOU. GET. A. CANDY. THAT. POWERFUL?

*cue ad*

Waluigi: At your local Star Carnival!  
DK: Yeah! Buy candy! It's good for you! AND gives you superpowers!

*end ad*

Ghoulman: BUT. THAT. IS. NOT. FAIR!  
Waluigi: Oh, screw you! We're moving this story/subplot right along!

Waluigi finishes off the game!

KB: Eyahehehehehe! I'm King Boo! In order to win, you will…oh, Grambi, it's YOU again. Honestly, CAN NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS DAMN ROOM? Oh, fine, whatever, what do you want?  
Waluigi: *holds up 10 coins*  
KB: FINA-F***IN-LY! Take the Star, I don't need it anymore.

Waluigi gained the second Star to win the game!

MCB: *snoozing*  
Hat: Hey! Wake up! We got a winner!  
MCB: *grumbling* Finally? Well, good. Winner is Waluigi. Let's wrap this up.

END GAME!

Ghoulman: !

Waluigi wins the MP8 mini-game! Finally!

DK: Way to go, Waluigi!  
Waluigi: I thought you left after the DK event.  
DK: Nah. Decided to stick around in case you needed help. Again.  
Waluigi: Shame we never landed on a Bowser Space so that Bowser would appear.  
DK: Don't worry. We'll find him soon enough.  
Waluigi: We should probably catch up with the rest of the gang, then, eh?  
DK: Yeah.

Waluigi and DK are about to leave the basement forever. And good-

Ghoulman: NO! I. WILL. NOT. ALLOW. THIS!

Ghoulman blocks the exit.

Waluigi: Dude, you lost. Get over it.  
Ghoulman: NO! IF. I. CAN'T. WIN. A. BOARD. GAME. THEN. I. WILL. BEAT. YOU. BOTH. IN. COMBAT!  
DK: Dude, we're not going to take you on-

Ghoulman summons a legion of Pink Boos!

DK:…in battle.  
Ghoulman: YOU. HAVE. NO. CHOICE!  
Waluigi: Damn, what a sore loser.

BATTLE 3 START!

The Wild Things (so THAT'S where they are!)  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP

Ghoulman  
Ghoulman: 200 HP, 25 SP  
Pink Boo1: 25 HP, 0 SP  
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP  
PB3: 25 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi brings out a Bob-omb and throws it! All enemies are hit for 12 dge! DK punches PB1 for 24 dge, KO-ing it!

Ghoulman: NOW. IS. THE. TIME. FOR. YOUR. DESTRUCTION!

Ghoulman sucks up the other Pink Boos (eww) and chews them before-

-a tremendous firey spread of burning destruction comes out of Gary's mouth! It hits the BB for 9 dge! Gary loses 4 SP and learns Burner Breath!

BB: Eyagh! It burns!  
Yoshi: Magical breath of fire that burns ghosts? That's amazing!  
Gary: Not really, considering the damage done.

The Big Boo is burned!

BB: Bleh! I will destroy you for that!

The Big Boo slowly floats towards the heroes…

…  
…

Yoshi: You know what, I think that's his attack.  
Aroramage: Yes it is.

The Good Guys  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 41 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 91 HP, 50 SP (floating towards the good guys!) (burned!)

Yoshi: Okay, I need something to blast this guy with.  
Gary: Dude, you've got that gauntlet thing you haven't used for a while.  
Yoshi:…oh yeah! I forgot I had that!

Yoshi uses (dun-duh-duh-dun!) the GAUNTLET OF FIERY CHAOS!

BB: No! It's the Gauntlet Bowser has been searching for!

The GFC hits BB for 16 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! BB takes 10 dge! BB stalls as he approaches the heroes and takes 5 burn dge!

The Good Guys  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 37 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 65 HP, 50 SP (floating towards the good guys!) (burned!)

Yoshi: We keep this up and we'll beat the Big Boo in no time!  
Gary: Wait! Don't we need to know where Luigi is?  
Yoshi: Are you kidding? Mario's got that taken care of!

Yoshi fires the GFC at BB! BB-

-balloons out and floats in the air! CC grabs onto him and they float up by tapping the A button to a nearby platform!

CC: Mario, you're so cool! :3

In any case, they reach the platform and enter the room, where there appears to be no one or nothing. In the corner, however, is a camera and a chair with the Jigsaw puppet in it.

CC: o_o *whimpers*  
Mario: Relax, it's just a harmless dummy.  
?: Eyaheheheh! That's what YOU think!

Cackletta and Fawful appear!

Mario: You!  
Cackletta: Yes, me!  
Fawful: AS well as I!  
CC: *gasp*!  
Mario: I thought I got rid of you back in the Beanbean Kingdom!  
Cackletta: Of course you did, you fool! But that doesn't mean I wouldn't return!  
Mario: But I also thought I-  
Fawful: THAT NEVER HAPPENED!  
Mario:…  
CC: What do thy foul specter's spirits desire?  
Cackeletta:…wait…what?  
Fawful: We have wishes to annihilate you poor fleshlings in battle as epic as a cat trying to land on its feet with buttered toast on its back trying to smack the floor with its buttery side and causing a never-ending infinity loop of anti-gravity mysterium!  
Mario:…wait…what?  
CC: You fiend! Thou shalt not get away with this treacherous act!  
Cackletta: *aside to Mario* Um, what is your partner saying? I can't understand his old English accent.  
Mario: *aside to Cackletta* Nobody can. I think that's why the fanbase hates him so much.  
Cackletta: We have a fanbase?  
Mario: Oh I'm sure of it. No one would read this if we didn't.  
CC: Puma-pants!  
Fawful: Fink-rat!  
CC: Pigeon-livered!  
Fawful: Gnatty-naughty-bunny!  
CC: Devil incarnate!  
Fawful: Popular-less one!  
CC: *gasp* You take that back!  
Fawful: Eyahahaha! Never will I, the Great Fawful, be taking back the insult! It is staining you already like messy paintball of shame!  
CC: Oh, it's on now! Mario!  
Mario: Well, looks like we got to beat the crap out of you two.  
Cackletta: May the best man, rabbit, or spirit-thing win.

Mario & Cackletta shake hands, and then assume a fighting stance!

Mario: Ghost-bitch!  
Cackletta: Plumber-butt!

BATTLE 4 START!

The Scarlet Duo!  
Mario: 45 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 50 HP, 35 SP

The Beanish Ones!  
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)  
C's Right Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP  
C's Left Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP  
C's Head: 100 HP, 0 SP  
Fawful: 150 HP, 25 SP

CC: Dude, Mario! She's huge!  
Mario: It's because of her spirit form. We can't hit her until we take out the other parts of her! Luckily, they're all part of the same character, so they collectively get only one attack.  
CC: Interesting.  
Mario: Yeah, but they'll come back if we don't beat the heart quick. Not to mention we'll also have Fawful to deal with. And another thing, the Scarlet Duo?  
CC: I was about to say, neither of us is scarlet.  
Aroramage: WILL YOU JUST CUT ME SOME SLACK? IT'S A SHADE OF RED! YOU BOTH HAVE SHADES OF RED! JUST DEAL WITH IT!  
CC:…dammit.  
Cackletta: Wait, what about us? The Beanish Ones?  
Fawful: I detest this defilement of a name like a bad hairdo of messy curls of stupidity rooting themselves into my skull with my brain!  
Aroramage: Do you WANT me to get the hair trap out of the Saw 4 props closet?  
Fawful: o_o Fawful does not have the wish to have his only curl pulled out like rotting vegetable in dirt of cranium cap which is mine.  
Aroramage: Then SHUT THE F*** UP!

Mario decides to-

-fire them out of his mouth as an orb of ethereal energy at DK! DK takes 15 dge! Ghoulman summons 3 new Pink Boos!

The Wild Things  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 45 HP, 40 SP

Ghoulman  
Ghoulman: 188 HP, 25 SP  
PB1: 25 HP, 0 SP  
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP  
PB3: 25 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi: It's not going to do us any good to take out the Pink Boos if Ghoulman's around.  
DK: I'd agree with you, if that last attack didn't hurt so much.  
Waluigi: Hm…that must mean that the more Pink Boos he sucks up in an attack, the stronger it is. But every time he does that, he summons up more Pink Boos…*lightbulb moment!* I've got it!  
DK: You actually thought of a plan to beat him? By yourself? With your BRAIN?  
Waluigi: Yes!

Waluigi throws a random Bob-omb at the enemy! The enemy takes 17 dge! DK charges a punch!

Ghoulman: NOW. I. WILL. SEND. YOU. TO. THE. NETHERWORLD!  
Waluigi:…what, like the Dark Signers?  
Ghoulman: NO! THAT. WAS. JUST. STUPID. 4KIDS. DUBBERY! I. REFER. TO. ACTUAL. HELL!

Ghoulman sucks up the three Pink Boos and chews them up before firing them out of his mouth as an orb of ethereal energy at Waluigi! Waluigi-

Waluigi: *brings out racket* Oh no, you don't!

Waluigi swings the tennis racket at the orb and-

-takes 23 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! BB takes 11 dge! BB slowly floats towards the heroes and takes 6 burn dge!

The Good Guys  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 33 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 31 HP, 50 SP (floating towards the good guys!) (burned!)

Yoshi faces the Big Boo!

Yoshi: Hey, Big Boo! Look at me looking at you!  
BB: NO! THE STARING! IT BURNS!

BB turns transparent in fear!

Yoshi: Now we just sit back and relax while the supernatural burn he has KO's him.  
Gary: Yoshi, the burn status is probably going to go away soon. Not to mention he's almost in range to do some serious damage to us.  
Yoshi: Not as long as we're facing him, he's not.

The heroes choose the more passive path and wait for the burn damage and fear of being seen completely annihilate the Big Boo! BB is cowering in fear and takes 5 burn dge!

The Good Guys  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 33 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 26 HP, 50 SP (cowering!) (burned)

The heroes do nothing! BB is cowering and takes 5 burn dge! BB is no longer burned!

The Good Guys  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 33 SP

Evil Ghost Thing  
Big Boo: 21 HP, 50 SP (cowering!)

Yoshi: Shall I do the honors?  
Gary: I'd be insulted if you didn't.  
BB: Who's talking? Huh? WHO'S OUT THERE? I warn you, don't look at me! I swear I'll smash your face in with a spirit brick if I ever see you in the afterlife seeing me! STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Yoshi uses the GFC on BB! BB-

-shoot a fireball for 3 SP at Fawful! Fawful takes 15 dge! CC used Crimson Slash for 3 SP! He slashes at CLA for 22 dge!

Cackletta: Eyargh! You will PAY for that!

Fawful uses Spirit Headgear Blaster Attack of Otherworldly Doom for 5 SP! He sends spirit energy orbs at the heroes, hitting them for 5+4+5+3 dge each! Cackletta used her Arms to reach out and attack the duo! Mario takes 12 dge! CC takes 14 dge!

The Scarlet Duo!  
Mario: 16 HP, 37 SP  
CC: 19 HP, 32 SP

The Beanish Ones!  
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)  
C's Right Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP  
C's Left Arm: 28 HP, 0 SP  
C's Head: 100 HP, 0 SP  
Fawful: 135 HP, 20 SP

Mario: Man…we can't win like this!  
CC: Mario! There's only one true way to beat this villainous duo!  
Mario: Well, it better not involve taking damage until we faint and using a redo of some kind to restart the fight from the beginning. Taking one beating would be enough.  
CC: No. We need to combine our powers together!  
Mario: Hm…yes! Of course! But first…

Mario breaks a Mushroom in half and restores both heroes health by 25 HP!

Mario: Ah, that feels good.  
CC: Alright! I've got a plan! Follow my lead!

CC-

-sends the orb flying back at Ghoulman!

Ghoulman: NO! MY. ATTACK. HAS. BEEN. COUNTERED?  
Waluigi: KISS. MY. ASS!

Ghoulman is hit CRITICALLY for 53 dge! Two Pink Boos are summoned!

The Wild Things  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 45 HP, 40 SP (charging!)

Ghoulman  
Ghoulman: 118 HP, 25 SP (tired)  
PB1: 25 HP, 0 SP  
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi attacks Ghoulman with his tennis racket of doom!

Waluigi: Wait…what?

I'm trying to make it sound more doomsday-esque for Halloween! Like it?

Waluigi:…not really.

Well, fine! Ghoulman takes 18 dge! DK punches Ghoulman for 37 dge! Ghoulman is too tired from the blast of the previous round to do anything! The Pink Boos attack! Waluigi and DK each take 7 dge! 2 more Pink Boos appear! Ghoulman is no longer tired!

The Wild Things  
Waluigi: 43 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 38 HP, 40 SP

Ghoulman  
Ghoulman: 63 HP, 25 SP  
PB1: 25 HP, 0 SP  
PB2: 25 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi: Well, DK, I say we finish him off!  
DK: Wild radical super-secret attack with a shorter name?  
Waluigi: Hell yeah!  
Ghoulman: NO! THIS. CAN. NOT. BE!

Waluigi and DK use up 9 SP each! DK spins around and lifts into the air! Waluigi grabs his feet and they fly up together! Waluigi brings out a small cannon, aims it at the enemy, and fires 5 Bob-ombs! The enemy takes 122 total dge!

Ghoulman: NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Waluigi: You just got creamed by the Heli-Bomber!  
DK: Good naming!  
Waluigi: Hell yeah!

END BATTLE 3!

Ghoulman is lying on the floor, bruised, beaten, and demoralized. Or something to that effect.

Waluigi: Well, now I say we find the others!  
DK: But we're in the basement. How are we going to find them in this huge haunted house?  
Ghoulman: RESPECTABLE. FOES.  
W/DK: !  
Ghoulman: FEAR. NOT. I. TELL. YOU. THE. WAY. OUT.

Ghoulman floats up and over to a nearby wall. He touches it, making it transparent and intangible, revealing a hidden warp pipe (DEUS EX MACHINA!).

Ghoulman: HERE. TO. TOP. YOU. WILL. BE.  
Waluigi: Wow. Thanks, Ghoulman!  
DK: Will we ever see you again?  
Ghoulman: MAYBE. OR. NOT.  
Waluigi: Well, alright. See you around!

And at last, their battle fought, the Wild Ones venture forth into the warp pipe to appear on top.

DK: And what do ya know? No random inter-

-takes 26 dge exactly, KO'ing him!

BB: …

The Big Boo is defeated!

END BATTLE 2!

Yoshi: With that done, I say we find Mario and CC and get the hell out of here.  
Gary: I agree!

The duo walks off-

BB: NO!

The Big Boo rises!

BB: I WILL NOT LET YOU ESCAPE!

The Big Boo swallows up Yoshi and Gary! He then drags them beneath the surface of the roof! What does this mean?

Yoshi: Hopefully no more interrupt-

-sets his blade ablaze for 7 SP! Mario uses 7 SP! He surrounds himself with four fireballs as CC jumps high in the air! CC then comes spiraling down and hits Cackletta's Left Arm for 37 dge! Mario throws a fireball at the Arm for an additional 35 dge, igniting CC and causing him to jump in the air again! The process is repeated on Fawful, Cackletta's Head, and Cackletta's Right Arm for 39+34, 26+28, and 34+36 dge respectively!

Cackletta: GAAAAAH! IT BURNSsss!  
Fawful: THE PAIN I FEEL IS LIKE THE PINCHING PAIN OF A FLAMING ANGRY CRAB SET ABLAZE BY VOLCANIC ACTIVITIES OF SUPREME INFERNO OF BADNESS!  
Mario: The Blazing Driller!  
CC: Eat that, Cackletta and Fawful!  
Cackletta: *gasps* That pain was terrible! But it only strengthens my resolve to destroy you!

Cackletta fires lasers from her eyes! Mario and CC take 14 dge each! Fawful uses Chuckle Retort of Violent Catastrophic Cataclysms of Terrifying Madman for 3 SP! He laughs off the damage, recovering 27 HP and gaining +5 dge to all his attacks!

Fawful: FEEL THE WRATH OF A THOUSAND WRATHS PUT INTO ONE THAT IS MINE! FOR I! HAVE! FURY!

The Scarlet Duo!  
Mario: 17 HP, 30 SP  
CC: 20 HP, 25 SP

The Beanish Ones!  
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)  
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)

The epic rematch of Mario and Cackletta (with CC and Fawful on the side) continues to dominate the chapter title, entering a new realm of undiscovered tactics: the Combo Attacks! Utilizing the unique characteristics of their comrades, our heroes combine their abilities to create ultra-powerful new moves of super secret special awesomeness of spectacular proportions!

….yes, well, anyway…

Our heroes are-

Mario: We already know!

…fine.

Mario: We're in some serious trouble.  
CC: Yeah, they know that.  
Cackletta: There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop us!  
Fawful: Such an attempt to be stopping us is like attempting to plant one's roots into the earth beneath and halt an oncoming speeding truck of death like a finkrat!  
Everyone:…what?  
Fawful: We will be crushing you like hammers of badness smashing you nails of dumbness into doors of pain!  
Everyone:…  
Mario: What?  
CC: I think he was trying to say, "I'm going to make you dead as a doornail".  
Cackletta: Oh please. That wasn't even close.  
Fawful: Why is their no understanding of me?  
?: Well, as they say, what goes one way in circles-

REINFORCEMENTS ARRIVE! FOR THE HEROES!

Yoshi: -goes the other way in circles!  
Fawful: *gasp* FINKRATS!  
Cackletta: Hey! How come they get reinforcements? WHERE'S MY EVIL ORGANIZATION THAT SHOULD BE BEHIND ME?  
?: Never fear!

MR. L AND BROBOT MLX APPEAR!

Mr. L: The cavalry is here!  
Waluigi: Oh great, just in time for Anti-Greenie and his Shiny Tin Can to show up.  
Mr. L: I'll pretend to be offended in a minute, peasant.  
?: Cock-a-mother-f***ing-dooooo!

KRILLEN VON ROOSTENHEIMER JOINS THE FIGHT!

KR: Allo, ol' chaps! Fancy a spot of tea?  
Mario: um…no but thanks?  
KR: Oh, yes, quite alright then. In that case, one lump?

Krillen brings out his cane and presses a secret button, transforming it into an enormous club!

KR: -or two?  
Yoshi: FML.

The Good!  
Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 20 HP, 25 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP  
Mario: 17 HP, 30 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP

The Bad!  
Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)  
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)  
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP  
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP

IT'S A BATTLE ROYALE! And with everybody here, we've-

Yoshi: Wait a minute, where's Lucky?  
?: I'm sorry, I'm not feeling very "Lucky" today.

A darkened version of Lucky appears! Think of Anti-fairies and stuff…

Unlucky: I'm feeling "Unlucky" at the moment! Hahahahahahahaha!  
Yoshi:…oh great, new villain cued in by bad pun.  
Unlucky: Hey, I worked hard on that intro!  
Yoshi: If five minutes has become a long enough time to create an intro, I suppose you worked hard on it. Sorry thing is it sounds more like two.  
Unlucky: Grambi, you are a-  
Yoshi: Seconds.  
Unlucky:…damn you to whatever Hell is closest.

_The Good!  
_Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 20 HP, 25 SP  
Waluigi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 60 HP, 40 SP  
Mario: 17 HP, 30 SP  
Gary: 45 HP, 45 SP

_The Bad!  
_Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)  
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)  
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP  
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP

_The Ugly  
_Unlucky: 150 HP, 50 SP

Unlucky: HEY!  
Mr. L: Well, well. Lookit what we got. It's a Mexican Standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans!  
Yoshi: So what're you here for, Unlucky?  
Unlucky: I'm here because I'm evil! And not ugly!  
Yoshi: There was very little answering of the question.  
Unlucky: I'm Anti-Lucky! What more could you ask for?  
Waluigi: Motive.  
Mario: Alibi.  
CC: WITNESSES!  
Unlucky: Since when did this become a trial?  
Mr. L: Since everyone decided to totally ignore my epic quote! Why must I be so ignored?  
KR: Now you know how it feels being me! Only worse, because nobody really knows it's me!  
Unlucky: Look, the whole reason I'm here is because of some author-related plot device to sway readers into continuing to read this story! Unlike his other one where he completely loses the fanbase interest because nobody decided to post.  
Aroramage: I'M GIVING THEM TIME!  
Unlucky: In any case, I'm an Anti-Lucky, as I've said before. Think of me more as an alter-ego of sorts, like Wario to Mario and Waluigi to Luigi.  
Waluigi: Dude's gotta point.  
Yoshi: Still no motive.  
Unlucky: Alright, you want a motive? Fine! The Power Stars are MY motive!  
Yoshi: Naturally.  
Unlucky: And I'm collecting them so that I can free my brethren from the nether regions of the Antiverse!  
Yoshi: Right, sure, ultimate power and…wait, what?  
Unlucky: The Antiverse! A universe completely compromised of Anti-this and Anti-that, including Anti-this-and-that!  
Yoshi:…you've lost me.  
Unlucky: You'll find me a fine addition to the ranks of EVIL!  
Mr. L: I'm so ignored!  
KR: Oh, quit whining, you tosser!  
Unlucky: And there will be nothing for you all to stop me in my quest to unleash the Antis! Mwahahahahahaha!  
Yoshi: So wait, what happened to Lucky?  
?: I'm right here, laddies!

Lucky appears out of nowhere! As if he was invisible this whole time or something!

Yoshi: And just where have you been?  
Lucky: Where do ya think, laddie? I've been scowering the building for Luigi!  
Mario: Oh right, my bro who is trapped in here and who we came to save in the first place. I totally forgot about him.  
?: Well, that's-a disappointing!

Luigi appears.

Luigi:…  
Heroes:…  
Villains:…  
Ugly Anti People:…HEY!  
Luigi: What, no hello? No how are you? No exclamation point? No what's it like being trapped by Boos? No where've you been and how did Mr. L come into existence and was it cause of you?  
Mario: Hey bro.  
Luigi: Yeah, hi! What about me? WHAT ABOUT POOR GODDAMN LUIGI?  
Mr. L: You really are a terrible counterpart to me.  
Luigi: YOU GO TO UNDERWHERE!  
Mario: Hell's more threatening.  
Luigi: YOU GO TO HELL!  
KR: Ah, poor Luigi. Always the sidekick, never the hero. Although more side than kick even. HA!  
Cackletta: You sure are a terrible shade of green today! Is that a new color? No? It's the same ol' ragged clothes you wear all the time? HA!  
Unlucky: Even I'm a cooler counterpart than you, Luigi!  
Luigi: Um, Mr. L's MY counterpart.  
Unlucky: OR IS HE? HA!  
Mr. L: Actually, yeah, he's right.  
Unlucky: Dammit!  
Fawful: You green pasty finkrat! You're mother's a whiny lima bean of sadness when she looks in the mirror and realizes she has a mustache of ugliness on the upper lip of her nonsense-maker! Oh wait, YOU'RE MOTHER IS YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Cackletta: Ouch.  
KR: Well that WAS harsh.  
Mario: Hey! That's-a my momma you talkin' about!  
Fawful: DOUBLE STRIKE!

(if you guys need music, look up Naruto Soundtrack Strong and Strike)

Luigi: *cap over eyes* You take away my freedom. You mock me at every turn. You even make fun of my mother. But when you-a start talking smack about my color…*dramatic look up with fire in his eyes*…YOU MUST DIE!

Luigi charges at his brother!

Mario: Whoa, hey man, I didn't make fun of your color, man!

Luigi jumps over Mario!

Mario: *phew*

And heads toward DK!

DK: Whoa, hey, what's your beef with lovable ol me?

Luigi jumps over DK!

DK: *phew*

And jumps into the backpack on DK's back!

DK: Wait, I still have this thing?

Luigi dives in and resurfaces with all 25 Power Stars!

Mario: Luigi, no! You don't know what that could do to you!  
Luigi: You and I both know what they'll do to me! AND I WILL CRUSH THEM ALL! LEAVE ME TO MY VENGEANCE!  
Mario: Luigi, no!  
Luigi: POWER STARS, LEND ME YOUR COSMIC POWER!

Luigi floats in the air as the Power Stars circle him! They then infuse themselves with Luigi!

Mario: Damn.  
DK: Damn.  
Yoshi: Damn.  
CC: Damn.  
Waluigi: Damn.  
Lucky: Damn.  
Gary: Damn.  
Cackletta: Damn.  
Mr. L: Damn.  
Unlucky: Damn.  
Brobot MLX: ERROR-ERROR.  
Fawful: FINK-RAT!

Luigi is infused with Star Power! He has become Super-Star Luigi!

Mario:…you know, guys, I think we can leave this to him.  
Heroes: WHAT?  
Mario: He's my bro, my flesh and blood. He'll win this.  
Yoshi:…gotcha.  
Waluigi: And he's the guy I'm based off of. I'm awesome, but he's more awesome!  
CC: I can agree to this.  
Lucky: Best o' luck wit him.  
Gary: If you guys can believe in someone like me, I can believe all the more in someone like Luigi! (although I suddenly recall that one time…)  
DK: You da man, Luigi!

The rest of the heroes head for a safe clearing!

Luigi: *to self* Thanks, bro. *To villains* Alright, fellas, LET'S BRING ON THE PAIN!

(Superstar Fighting Evil: Bowser Battle from M&L2 or Final Boss Music from M&L Superstar Saga)

BATTLE 4-B RE-START!

_The Epic!  
_Super-Star Luigi (SSL!): 50 HP, 35 SP

_The Villainous Army!  
_Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (protected)  
C's Right Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Left Arm: 0 HP, 0 SP (disappeared)  
C's Head: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Fawful: 89 HP, 17 SP (+5 DGE!)  
Mr. L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP  
KR: 175 HP, 45 SP

_The Other Guy  
_Unlucky: 150 HP, 50 SP

Unlucky: Hey!

SSL attacks Cackletta's Head! He charges in on it shining with brilliant light!

Cackletta: ACK!

SSL smashes through Cackletta's Head! It's an instant-KO to the Head! Cackletta's Heart is exposed!

CH: PANIC ATTACK!

Cackletta's heart beats rapidly and brings back her head and arms! Fawful attacks SSL!

Fawful: FEEL THE WRA-

SSL counters with a Superstar PUNCH! Fawful is instantly defeated!

Fawful: OWIE GOES THE PAIN OF SUPER-POWERED FINKRAT!

Fawful is reabsorbed into Cackletta, boosting her power! Mr. L draws out his rapier!

Mr. L: L-Rapier strike!

Mr. L slashes at SSL with L-Rapier!

Mr. L: Fear me now!

-which SSL grabs!

Mr. L: o_o  
SSL: Better you fear me.

SSL breaks L-Rapier!

Mr. L: NOOOOO! MY SWORD!

SSL superstar-PUNCHes Mr. L, which he narrowly blocks! The force of the punch throws him against the wall, causing 50 dge!

Mr. L: Damn!  
BMLX: CALCULATING BEST PROCEDURE.

Brobot MLX is contemplating! Krillen strikes with his club!

KR: I will do what any generic and stupid villain would do and strike you with all my might even though it is futile!

SSL breaks the club!

KR: NOOOOO! MY MULTI-PURPOSE CLUB-CANE!

SSL superstar-PUNCHes Krillen in the stomach!

KR: *DBZ gasp when punched in stomach*

SSL then grabs Krillen's leg and proceeds to spin in a circle!

KR: !

SSL throws Krillen at the wall!

KR: BAH-GOOOOOOOOOOO-*hits wall*

Krillen takes CRITICAL 164 dge!

Unlucky: Let's see you do something about THIS, Star-boy!

Unlucky throws Magic Powder at SSL! SSL breathes in and blows out as a counter! Unlucky inhales the powder!

Unlucky: HA! I'm an unlucky person already, but the more misfortune I have, the stronger I get!

Unlucky gains a power boost from the powder!

_The Epic!  
_Super-Star Luigi (SSL!): 50 HP, 35 SP

_The Villainous Army!  
_Cackletta: 200 HP, 100 SP (exposed!) (power boosted!)  
C's Right Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP  
C's Left Arm: 50 HP, 0 SP  
C's Head: 100 HP, 0 SP  
Mr. L: 150 HP, 0 SP  
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP (thinking)  
KR: 11 HP, 45 SP (DANGER!)

_The Other Guy  
_Unlucky: 150 HP, 50 SP (power boosted!)

(Epic Winning Music: Knight of the Wind)

SSL: Time to finish you off!  
Cackletta: NO! I WON'T LET YOU!

SSL charges at Cackletta! Cackletta attempts to destroy SSL! She flicks him off and sends fire after him! SSL dodges it completely! Cackletta flicks him off with the other hand and sends an electric orb after him! SSL punches through it! Cackletta then sends out a Fawful ghost!

Fawful: FEEL THE RENEWED WRA-

SSL punches through it again! Cackletta sets her sights on SSL and freezes time! She fires lasers at SSL with direct contact! An explosion occurs!

Cackletta: Ha! That will stop you!

Through the smoke, SSL appears unscathed!

Cackletta: WHAT?

SSL punches through Cackletta's Heart! He dramatically holds his fist out in front of him as he kneels on the other side of Cackletta!

Cackletta: *DBZ gasp when innards are torn apart*

Cackletta falls through the floor as SSL stands!

SSL: Who else wants some of this?  
KR: I'm in too much pain to battle! I MUST FLEE!  
Unlucky:…um, yeah, I'm with him. I'm stronger, but I'm still an f-ing coward.

Krillen and Unlucky flee the scene!

Mr. L: Come, Brobot! I don't think we can handle this much power.  
BMLX: NEGATIVE.  
Mr. L: What? What are you saying?  
BMLX: MUST STAY, MUST FIGHT, MUST NOT GIVE UP.  
Mr. L: Brobot, it's hopeless! We've lost this round! Don't be a fool!  
BMLX: I WILL DEFEAT HIM. MUST DESTROY OPPOSITION!  
Mr. L: I knew I shouldn't have programmed that resistance-overload device into his cerebral interface.

_The Epic!  
_Super-Star Luigi (SSL!): 50 HP, 35 SP

_The Villainous Duo!  
_Mr. L: 150 HP, 0 SP (crestfallen)  
BMLX: 200 HP, 50 SP (prepared)

SSL: Bro, lend me your strength!

Mario appears beside SSL!

Mario: Let me assist you!  
SSL: I wouldn't have it any other way!

SSL gives up some power to Mario! Mario absorbs Star Power! He becomes powered with Superstar-ness! He becomes Super-Star Mario!

Mr. L: Well, we're totally f'ed.  
BMLX: NOT YET.

Brobot MLX divides himself into two complete bodies! One resembles Luigi while the other resembles Mario!

Mr. L: Huh. Actually forgot about that function.  
BMX: LEAVE NOW.  
Mr. L: What?  
BLX: WE'LL HANDLE THEM!  
Mr. L: No! What if you survive? I might be able to salvage you!  
BMX: WON'T SURVIVE IF THAT HAPPENS. YOU MUST FLEE.  
BLX: WE WILL TRY OUR BEST TO DEFEAT THEM. FOR NOW, WE NEED YOU TO SURVIVE BROTHER!  
Mr. L: Bro…brother?  
BM&LX: YES!  
Mr. L: *sniff* Thanks, Brobots! Now give em a fight to remember!

Mr. L flees the scene!

Yoshi: That was actually touching.  
Waluigi: I almost feel sorry. If only he wasn't a bad guy.  
Yoshi: Waluigi, you're supposed to BE a bad guy!  
Waluigi: This is also true. I'm touched and hurt.  
Gary: And an identity-confused idiot?  
Waluigi: And whatever it was you just said.

_The Mario Bros.!  
_SSM: 45 HP, 40 SP  
SSL: 50 HP, 35 SP

_The MLX Brobots!  
_BMX: 100 HP, 25 SP  
BLX: 100 HP, 25 SP

(Epic Fighting Music: Fight the Knight)

SSM: Let's do this!  
SSL: We'll crush you!  
BMX: WILL NOT LOSE!  
BLX: WILL NEVER SURRENDER!  
Waluigi: Three word phrases!  
Heroes:…  
Waluigi: What?

SSM attacks BMX as SSL attacks BLX! The fight is incredibly intense! A flurry of exchanging blow for blow takes place between each pair! Now SSL throws BLX towards SSM, who uses BMX to block it! Now SSM throws BLX back at SSL who punches it brutally! THIS FIGHT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND-

Lucky: Hey! We get it! They're fighting right above our heads, don't-cha know?  
Waluigi: They're giving it all they've got, Captain!

Finally, the flurries stop and the pairs of brothers stare at each other.

BMX: COMBINE ENERGIES! SUPREME ATTACK!  
BLX: SUPREME ATTACK! INITIATE PROTOCOL!

The two Super Brobot Bros. reconfigure their bodies and reshape themselves into a giant laser cannon!

Waluigi: The horror!  
SSL: Bro, this calls for a roulette thing!  
SSM: Don't worry, we're way ahead of ya!  
SMB: LET'S GO!

The Superstar Mario Bros. begin to combine their energies together! It's a charge-off!

?: Grambi damn it all to the Underwhere, what the Cheep-Cheep is going on here?

Suddenly, King Boo appears out of nowhere! (cut the music!)

Lucky: I thought I killed you!  
KB: You don't kill ghosts, kid. Ghosts are already dead. Honestly, first you come barging in taking my prisoner, and then you go around with echoing blows all over the place! I CAN HEAR YOU FROM THE CHEEP-CHEEPIN' BASEMENT, FOR CHEEP'S SAKE!  
Waluigi: Whatchu talking all funny for, huh?  
KB: I ALWAYS TALK IN SOME STUPID FORMAT! Seriously, why do you think I keep saying, "Eyehehehehe!" for crying out loud?  
Heroes: o_O  
Lucky: I always assumed you talked like that!  
KB: OH FOR THE LOVE OF BOO! (restart music)

The Brobots and Mario Bros. are charging their attacks!

SSM: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!  
BMX: LASEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!  
SSL: POWEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  
BLX: CANNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!  
SMB: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!  
BBB: FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!

THE TWO ATTACKS COLLIDE WITH EXPLOSIVE FORCE! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! THE WORLD IS ON FIRE!

KB: MY CROWN IS ON FIRE!  
Waluigi: No, it's always been burning since the world's been-  
KB: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

THE TWO ATTACKS ARE COLLIDING WITH SUCH POWER AND FEROCITY THAT THE INTENSITY OF THE BATTLE IS BEYOND WHAT WE CAN DESCRIBE HERE IN THIS CAPITALIZED TEXT!

(pause music)

….except for one really long "AAHH", that would do it...

(resume music)

AND SO THE COMBINATION OF ENERGIES – BOTH MAGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL – CAUSE AN EXPLOSION THAT WRECKS AND TEARS AND DESTROYS AND OBLITERATES THE ENTIRETY OF BIG BOO'S MANSION!

BB: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I haven't finished paying the rent on that!

AWESOMENESS IS ENSUED! AND NOW FOR SOME DIALOGUE!

BMX: CAN NOT LOSE!  
BLX: CANNOT BE DEFEATED!  
SSL: HAVE TO WIN!  
SSM: WE WON'T LOSE!

SUDDENLY, THE POWER STARS SPIN OFF THE HEROES! THEIR ENERGY BLAST ATTACK IS NULLED!

Luigi: Oh, that could have happened at a better time!

THE BROBOT'S LASER SURGES FORTH, CONSUMING THE MARIO BROTHERS!

Waluigi: NOOOO!  
Gary: NOOO!  
Lucky: NOOOO!  
CC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
KB: YES!

THE LASER BLASTS THE MARIO BROTHERS! IS THIS THE END? ARE THEY FINALLY DEFEATED?

…ha! Yeah, right!

THE POWER STARS DEFLECT THE ATTACK!

Brobots: …DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

THE POWER STARS SPIN AROUND THE BROTHERS, CREATING A SPHERE OF STAR ENERGY! THEY CHARGE AT THE BROBOTS!

Brobots: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

THE SPHERE RAMS THROUGH THE BROBOTS, DESTROYING THEM COMPLETELY!

Brobots: -oooooooooo…

The Brobots are destroyed! (end music)

The Mario Bros. come down gently thanks to the Power Stars!

KB: YOU FIENDS! YOU'VE DESTROYED OUR HOME! Now what house are we going to haunt for all eternity?  
Luigi: Ugh, fine! I'll let you all back into that one mansion I won in that phony contest!  
KB: Oh, that one? Yeah, we actually sold it to someone else.  
Luigi: Who's that?  
KB: Not sure. Don't really even know his name. Oh well! Doesn't matter now. I suppose I'll just take my fellow Boo brethren and find another Cheep-Cheepin' place to live.  
Mario: First things first.  
KB: Oh. Right. Here's some Power Stars we had.

KING BOO GIVES THE HEROES 7 POWER STARS, BRINGING THEM UP TO 32 POWER STARS TOTAL!

KB: See you heroes around!

King Boo floats off with several minions following after him.

Mario: Well, I suppose it's time we g-  
?: WAIT!

The heroes turn to find: Ghoulman!

Ghoulman: CAN. I. JOIN. YOU. ON. YOUR. QUEST?  
Yoshi:…well, we do lack the generic Boo-based character in our party. Why not?  
Waluigi: Well...

…

….  
….."Impressive. Their usage of the Power Stars continues to astound me…"

…  
…

…Mr. L can be seen walking through the remains of Big Boo's Mansion, picking up bits of timber. He moves over a wooden beam and lifts it up. He finds what he is looking for: a metal arm. He puts it in a black sack on his back and continues to scavenge the remains.

Mr. L: Don't worry, Brobot. I will make you stronger. *dramatic upturn of face* And I will make them pay!

(Jun 17, 2009 - Dec 15, 2009)


	11. Ch 10: So Long, & Where Are All My Fish?

**Chapter 10: So Long, and Where Are All My Fish?**

After kindly refusing Ghoulman's offer to journey on with them, saying something along the lines of "Your tribe needs you more than we do" or some such thing, our heroes journey back into the castle's basement.

Yoshi: Geez, it feels like we haven't been here in forever.  
Mario: That's cause the author just hasn't let us meander around the castle much lately. In fact, we usually just get a summary above this dialogue and poof! We're already there!  
Yoshi: Huh. You know, for the past couple of chapters, you're right!  
Aroramage: *refuses to acknowledge them breaking the Fourth Wall* If you pretend they aren't doing it, then chances are they aren't in your Miiiind!  
Yoshi: Dude, you hear something?  
Mario: Probably just you're IMAAAGINAAATIONNN!  
Waluigi: You know what's fun?  
Lucky: What?  
Waluigi: Extending phrases like THIIIIIIIISSSSS!  
Y/M: ¬¬  
Waluigi: What?  
Luigi: Why haven't I got any lines yet?

And so the heroes continue their epic quest towards their next destination. Which is…

Yoshi: Say, where is the portal, anyway?  
Mario: What do you mean?  
Yoshi: Like, I see the fireball, and we've already been to the room of the maze, but where's the next portal?

Looking around, the heroes note that there is no obvious portal around.

Mario: You know, I remember something very distinct about the portal we're looking for.  
Yoshi: What's that?  
Luigi: Oh yeah! I remember too! It's supposed to be part of the wall or something.

The other heroes look at each other. Then they frantically whack and thwack and smack the walls of the basement.

Mario: Yeah! It was like at the end of a long hallway.  
Luigi: I believe a dead end of some sort.

The other heroes cease their banging and such, look at each other, and sheepishly walk back to Mario and Luigi.

Mario: What was the world supposed to be again?  
Luigi: Not sure, but I do remember not liking it.  
Mario: Oh, wait! Now I remember! It was the Shifting Sand Land!  
Luigi: Yeah, and it was the sand I hated…  
Yoshi: The sand land, huh?  
CC: We should get through this quickly.  
Yoshi: How do you figure?  
CC: Well…

Meanwhile, in a distant ocean…place…thing…

BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?  
TRC: Maybe the heroes just haven't arrived yet.  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: I'M GETTING' TIRED O' WAITIN' FOR THEM! Not to mention the rest of the crew's stolen what's left of the portal-dust.  
TRC: What, the Floo Powder?  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: PORTAL-DUST! IT BE PORTAL-DUST!  
TRC:…right…  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: In any case, I hope to not have to wait any longer for these fools!

Meanwhile, in a port not far from the realm our heroes left…

KB: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY COMPLETELY OBLITERATED OUR ONLY HOME IN THIS GAME!  
Ghoulman: WE. WILL. EVENTUALLY. GET. THEM. AND. STUFF!  
KB: That's right, Ghoulman, we will! And it all starts with this!

King Boo switches out his crown for a pirate captain hat!

KB: AND NOW WE ARE OFF!

And so the crew of the _Haunted_ set forth on their quest to search for a new home and take names and so on and so forth as all characters do in the world of:

SUPER MARIO 64 DS CARA!

KB: Why do we keep using this?  
Ghoulman: NEED. MORE. SHIPS. FOR. SEA. CHAPTER. MAKES. IT. MORE. EPIC!  
KB: Touché, mon frère!

Meanwhile, in an entirely different direction…

Wario is staring out from the hole he has created. (Hopefully, you didn't forget about THAT important detail)

Wario: Where the hell am I?

He is looking outward at what appears as a setting sun over a vast array of clouds. Taking a look down, he sees more orange-shaded clouds and, additionally, more metal. A dull roar can be heard from his particular position. Looking off to the sides, Wario sees more metal and yet more dirt as well, some on top of metal ledges and even tree roots extending beyond the metal barrier as if to attempt to suck water out of the surrounding clouds.

Wario: What the hell is this place?

Looking up, Wario encounters more metal walls and sees an edge a small distance off from where he is. Noting that there are no footholds or really anything to hold onto except a local root, he reaches for it, proving it to be just out of his grasp.

Wario: Damn, if only I could grab that root, I'd be in tip-top shape to get off this…thing…

Reaching towards the root again, Wario fails in gripping onto it and decides on an alternative before he recklessly tries again and plummets to what would seem to be an untimely end. Retreating into the hole in the side of whatever he is in, Wario digs a small dirt tunnel towards the root in question, gaining a small bit of momentum. As he does, the sun slowly continues to set beyond the horizon of the clouds and a small breeze shoots its way through the hole, cooling Wario off from his hard-worked sweat.

Wario: Mmm, now that-a feels good.

After setting aside some work for a moment in the breeze, Wario continues to dig into the tunnel. The light continues to fade, and Wario notices his candle has gone out. Cursing, he reaches into his overalls and grabs a match, igniting it on the case and relighting the candle. Finally reaching the designated height, Wario once again digs outward, bends more metal back, and grabs the tree root with much more ease.

Wario: Piece of cake!

Suddenly, the tree root wraps itself around Wario and pulls him out, and with no more than a whisk, Wario is dragged through the hole and out of sight by the mysterious tree root…

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the plot!

CC: And so if we don't get there in time to have the chicken cross the road, we'll never have the material to make the joke!  
Yoshi: …something tells me you made all that up.  
CC: Well, yeah, but still.

And so, our heroes sally forth into yonder portal of ancient dunes and sandy plains of nothingness and…yeah, we're heading to the desert.

(Music: Gritzy Desert!)

Our heroes have arrived in Shifting Sand Land with AN ENORMOUS PYRAMID IN FRONT OF THEM, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!

Yoshi: Wow.  
Mario: I'll admit, it's impressive.  
CC: Wooow…  
Waluigi: Ooooh…  
Lucky: Aaaahhhh….  
DK: Ooooooo….  
Gary: AWESOME! I can't believe we're in the desert! Right near a pyramid! Ah, the origins of the great Koopa clan which extend from here and, of course, the Goombas! It's like my ancestor's presence is all around me! I can totally feel their aura! *meditates*  
Luigi: *sniff* It's awesome. Except for the location. Seriously, too much sand! *rubs sand from eye* Ah-CHOO! It's even up my nose too!  
Yoshi: Well, let's go and find those Power Stars!

And so the heroes set out towards…nowhere…

Aroramage: Um, guys? You need to go find the Power Stars!  
Yoshi: Well, yeah, but…  
Mario: We're in the middle of the desert.  
Luigi: Kinda don't have a place to look except in the sands.  
Waluigi: OF TIME!  
Heroes: ¬¬  
Waluigi: What?  
Aroramage: *furrows brow* Honestly, must I do everything? CHECK THE DAMN PYRAMID!  
Yoshi: Grambi, fine! We'll check the Gawddamned pyramid!  
Gawd: DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!

And so our heroes set forth again towards the pyramid this time…but how?

Waluigi: Ooh! Crazy box thingy!

Sure enough, nearby is a Crazed Crate, hopping up and down crazily.

Waluigi: You. Are. MINE!

Waluigi jumps on the Crazed Crate! Upon this action, the crate hops three times, each jump higher than the last, carrying Waluigi with it!

Yoshi: Waluigi, no!  
Mario: That Crazed Crate's gonna steal him for a three-jump tour!  
Waluigi: A THREE-JUMP TOUR? FUUUUUUU-

Waluigi is silenced when the Crazed Crate EXPLODES at the end of its last jump!

Waluigi: Note to self: avoid Crazed Crates. They are CRAZY!  
Yoshi: Gee, what was your first clue?  
Waluigi: When it freaking blew up at the end of its three-jump tour! But hey, better than getting stuck on an island.

Upon arriving, they…stand in front of the door-less pyramid...

Yoshi: Uh, yeah, there's no door on this thing.  
Aroramage: I'm AWARE of that!  
Yoshi:…so, O Great and Powerful Author-e One! Give us a door!  
Aroramage: I can't! It's not in the programming and I'm not nerdy enough to dangerously hack a game well enough to create a doorway there without the complete collapse of this story.  
Yoshi: I thought you said you were the author!  
Aroramage: I am, I just don't have that power. You'll just have to scale the pyramid to that somewhat conveniently placed platform where the real entrance is.

The heroes look up to see just the platform I'm talking about. Of course.

DK: EXPERT CLIMBING SKILLS, ACTIVATE!

…

DK: What?  
Yoshi: Into the pack on his back!

And so they all clamber into DK's backpack! Again! And DK proceeds to climb the side of the pyramid! And rather quickly he arrives on the platform on the side of the pyramid! Ingenious quick-and-fast-paced-actiony-paragraph-of-deus-ex-machina!

Upon reaching said platform, our heroes search it for the entrance, finding it with ease, along with the ramp that would have been completely conveniently uneventful and yet helpful. Upon entering the pyramid, absolutely nothing happens.

Yoshi: What the hell are you doing? I thought we were going to start making a bunch of terrible desert-related references by now.

We will…

AND NOW THE STORY OF OSIRIS! As told by Jeff, the Poor Guy Behind the Counter!

Jeff: …okay, so, like, when Osiris was born and stuff, it was, like, foretold that he was the savior of mankind. Like Egyptian Jesus or something. Anyway, Osiris became king and then he left Isis in charge, and Set was all, like, "I want that throne!" And Isis was , like, "No!" And Set was all, "I will get my revenge!" So he got a bunch of dudes and dudettes together and was, like, "We're gonna kill Osiris, man!" And he just happened to have, like, an entire set of dimensions for Osiris so, like, they could make a casket for him. And it was so pretty! Oh, but first, they gave him a feast! A FRICKIN' FEAST, MAN! Anyway, so everyone tried to get into the casket to, like, no avail! So when Osiris went in, it was, like, perfect fit, brah! But then, Set shut the lid and nailed it and sealed it with wax and stuff. And then he sent him to sea! IT WAS, like, A PORTABLE CRUISE SHIP CONVENIENTLY DESIGNED FOR HIM! Anyway, so Osiris is, like, floating down the river and Isis goes after him. Meanwhile, Set's all, like, "I'm King of Egypt, mother f*ckers!" Anyway, so Isis finds Osiris stuck in a pillar in a palace ruled by a king, man, and she's all, like, "Hey! Give me my husband, dude!" And the king's, like, "Fine, take him!" And then, she brings Osiris back to Egypt, but then one night Set finds the coffin and he's, like, "I thought I got rid of this thing, dude! It just sooo does not go with the new décor!" And so he, like, takes Osiris and cuts him into - *counts fingers* - fourteen pieces, man! So Isis is, like, "Dammit, not again!" And she goes searching and finds all but one, which was, like, eaten by a fish or something, and now, like, the fish is cursed for eternity, man. Anyway, so then Set's the ruler of Egypt and Horus, Osiris's son, comes along and Set's, like, "Shit! Forgot about the kid!" And he totally kills him! But then Thoth, the bird-guy with the weird beak, he brings Horus back from the dead, and Horus avenges Osiris by killing Set, and then Horus is the ruler of Egypt and he's all, like, "Egypt's mine, bitch!" And that was the end of it all.

…thank you, Jeff. Now then, BACK TO THE PLOT!

Yoshi: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?  
Aroramage: Well, hey, if we're going to give some thickness to this chapter's plot, we'll occasionally have to throw in a story. Besides, you wanted some sort of desert-related reference, and you got one.  
Yoshi: *mumbling* Last time I ask for anything from the gawddamn author.  
Gawd: I HEARD THAT!

And so do our heroes enter the pyramid! Again! Upon entering the pyramid, our heroes note the emptiness of the pyramid. Except for the Mummified Twhomps. And the small trail circling the pyramid.

Waluigi: This looks like a job for explorers of the crypt of Tutankoopa!  
Mario: Not really. We should probably take care of that.

_Reader's choice: __Climb the pyramid like normal people!_

…um, guys?

Yoshi: Seriously?  
Waluigi: Why would he do that?

Guys? Why aren't you climbing?

Waluigi: Are you kidding me with this roulette option?

Sorry, but what the reader says goes, and he picked-

Waluigi: SCREW THIS ROULETTE, I'M GOING UP TO THE TOP INDY-STYLE! CUE THE INDIANA JONES THEME MUSIC!

…I can't believe he's doing this…(cue the music)

Waluigi then brings out a random Indiana Jones style hat, marked with his signature "L", and a whip! He then cracks the whip, throws it around a random bar from nowhere, and prepares to swing across the sand floor.

Waluigi: Wait!

(cut the music!) What?

Waluigi: It's just a sand floor?

What do you want there to be?

Waluigi: Lions and tigers and bears!  
CC: Oh my.

…you're joking, right?

Waluigi: Oh! And purple hairy beasts!  
CC: Oh my!

Seriously, Waluigi? Why are you doing-

Waluigi: OH! AND SNAKES!  
CC: OH MY!  
Lucky: Why does it have to be snakes…

Why do I get caught in all the crazy shit I write about…oh wait, never mind, it's just me. Fine, whatever!

Waluigi: Yay!

(cue the music again)

And so, Waluigi prepares to swing across the sand floor, covered with lions, tigers, bears, purple hairy beasts, and snakes. Of all the rotten-

Waluigi: WAIT!

(cut the music…again) What do you want NOW?

Waluigi: Can there be Nazis?

No.

Waluigi: Please?

No.

Waluigi: Please?

No.

Waluigi: Please?

No.

Waluigi: Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

…fine, but only if they're Nazi zombies.

Waluigi: Can we get Soviet zombies, too?

…fine. (cue the music)

And so, once again, Waluigi prepares to swing across the-

?: HOLD UP THIS FIASCO! IN AMERICA!

Oh sonuvabitch…

Out of nowhere, it appears that Bandit Keith has arrived on the scene. What the crap…

BK: I stand before you gentlemen today to note the unpatriotic assembly of these un-American zombies. It's outrageous! And I'm here to help you because I'm an American serving my country!  
Yoshi: But we're Japanese.  
BK: Are you kidding? Mario is the most American non-American I've ever known.  
Mario: But I'm Japanese.  
BK: And you don't think you were modeled for America? Look at your American threads! You've got red on your shirt and cap, blue on your overalls, and white on your gloves! Red, white, and blue, the colors of America! You're also wearing denim, the most American of all threads!  
Yoshi: What about cotton?  
BK: Cotton is the other most American of all threads!  
Waluigi: This is cutting into my Indiana Jones impersonation time! Move it or lose it, Keith!  
BK: Now that is a most anti-American remark, you non-American! Go over there by those zombies so I can shoot you all down in the cerebral area with my shotgun! *ch-click* Made in America!  
Yoshi: Wait a minute, are those zombies really Nazi zombies? I mean, how can you tell?  
BK: It's their aura of pure anti-Semitist evil! It's also got small traces of anti-American evil! And that's not right! In America!  
Yoshi: And what about the Soviet ones, hm?  
BK: Those are the zombies over in that cluster cheering for socialism, the most un-American and non-capitalist of all economic functions! Not made in America!

There is indeed a small union being formed by somewhat intelligent zombies, with some holding up signs saying things like, "In America, you pay taxes! In Soviet Russia, TAXES PAY YOU!" and other similar economic related Soviet jokes.

BK: Look at those signs containing Soviet jokes! Those are the most un-American of all jokes! In America!  
Yoshi: Don't you have something better to do besides bother us all day?  
BK: I've been on break from the abridged series, where I've been in my Canadian base of operations!  
Waluigi: Where exactly is Canadia?  
Yoshi: It's Canada, right above the continental United States.  
Waluigi: Mm-hmm, and where exactly is the continental United States?  
Yoshi: Above Central America.  
Waluigi: I see, but then where is Central America?  
Yoshi: It's between North America and South America, the continents that form the Western Hemisphere on the planet Earth, 3rd rock from the Sun, in the Milky Way Galaxy, in the Universe.  
Waluigi: But then where is the Universe?  
Yoshi: Not here, I can tell you that much.

THE MORE YOU KNOW! *rainbows and kittens raining from the pots of gold on high*

BK: And now, it is time to-  
Yoshi: What about the lions, tigers, bears, purple hairy beasts, and snakes?  
BK: That's your problem! Because we are not in America!

HOLD IT!

Scene shifts to Phoenix Wright courtroom, with Bandit Keith as the witness, the heroes as the defense, and the enemies as…the prosecution!

Zombie: We cold-blooded killas, mother****er!  
Yoshi: Can I throw in a bit of a quote?  
BK: Be my non-American American guest! In America!  
Yoshi: You once stated that, "Every country in the world belongs to America." Do you stand by this statement?  
BK: Do I wear an American flag on my head? In America?  
Yoshi: You do. *triumphant Phoenix Wright pose* And that is why your statement is faulty!  
BK: *damage pose*

Random audience talks amongst themselves excitedly! The judge bangs his gavel!

Judge: Order, order! *surprise face* Where exactly are you going with this, Yoshi?  
Yoshi: I believe that because of this statement, Bandit Keith actually believes that the country we are in belongs to America. *smack desk & cross to blue flashing screen of '"I-have-you-now" awesomeness!* In other words, he thinks we're in America!  
BK: *damage pose*!

OBJECTION!

Nazi Zombie Lawyer: Just because he thinks we're in America doesn't mean a thing!  
Soviet Zombie Lawyer: You may be in America in America, but in Soviet Russia, America in you!

HOLD IT!

Yoshi: *smack desk* That statement alone creates the airtight argument against the prosecution's claims of us not being in America! Because if America is inside of us all, * cross to blue flashing screen of '"I-have-you-now" awesomeness!* then we are all apart of America, and therefore we're in it!  
BK: N…n…n…*severe damage pose* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*fade to the scene we were in before all this nonsense occurred**record scratch*

WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? You can't even attempt to go up a pyramid in the normal fashion!

Yoshi: But look, we haven't even moved!

Sure enough, they haven't moved. Gee, my mistake.

BK: Those zombies will die! In America!

As Bandit Keith proceeds to eliminate all the zombies, our heroes proceed to climb the pyramid like REGULAR PEOPLE WOULD.

Waluigi: Ahhhhh…..

So thusly through a mild few minutes of dodging mummified Thwomps, Goombas, and electrical orbs of spinning smiling death, and climbing up stairs, onto caged handgrips, and over sand traps of quicksanded death, our heroes arrive at the edge of an extended stone platform.

Yoshi: We should have done that Indy style.  
BK: *echo from the bottom of the pyramid* In America!  
Yoshi: ?  
Mario: In any case, we're here. At the top of the pyramid.  
Waluigi: We're the very best that no one ever was!  
Mario:...  
Luigi: Let's see what's going on *wavering voice* In thE Top oF THE PYRRRRAMIIiiid!

…

Luigi:…I WANT TO BE IMPORTANT!

Too bad!

…fine, Luigi finds a secret doorway!

Luigi: Hooray!

-towards the Boss Room.

Luigi:…I WANT TO BE IMPORTANT WITHOUT KILLING THE INNOCENT!

Too late! And so the heroes will forcibly wander through the doorway towards the boss so that they can reclaim the POWER STARS! Upon entering the mysterious Boss Room, our heroes find a stone altar and two giant bricked pillars on each side. At the altar itself stands a cloaked figure.

Luigi: What?  
Mario: That's impossible!  
Yoshi: What?  
CC: What is it?  
DK: What're you guys talking about?  
Luigi: That figure at the altar…  
Mario: He's the one.  
Waluigi: Who?  
Lucky: What?  
Gary: When, where, why, how?  
Luigi: That's the guy WHO IMPRISONED US!  
Other heroes: !

At this notion, the figure turns around and notes our heroes.

?: !  
Mario: You!  
Yoshi: Who are you?  
?: *mutters to self* This can't be! They're here already? I thought they were stuck in the volcano world! This can't be happening! Not here, not now! I must flee! But first I must do what I came here to do! Then flee, I must!

The figure quickly turns back around, only to find Waluigi has already dashed past him and gotten in his way.

Waluigi: In a rush?

The figure gasps and backs away, only to run into the others who quickly surround him.

Yoshi: So, we meet at last.  
Mario: For the last time!  
DK: You've been the one behind Bowser this entire time!  
Waluigi: I'm here to stand in front of you and look menacing!  
Luigi: There's no turning back!  
CC: Nowhere to run!  
Gary: You're going down!  
Lucky: Who's got the lucky charms now, bitch?  
?: No, wait! Please, you don't understand!

Suddenly, the altar begins to shake, then the pillars, and then the entire floor begins to quake!

Waluigi: Whoa!  
Mario: What's going on?  
Luigi: What have you done?  
?: Fools! Move away from that altar this instant! If this ritual is not completed now-

Suddenly, the pillars begin to shift into a pair of hands. Then, eyes open in the palm of each hand!

?: No! The guardian of the temple, Eyerok, has been awakened!  
Eyerok: Defilers of this sacred ground, you are trespassing in forbidden territory! Leave now or suffer the eternal wrath of our ancestors!  
Yoshi: I take it that's a bad thing.  
?: Move away from the altar! I must complete the ritual!  
Eyerok: You!  
?: Eeep!  
Eyerok: You are attempting the revival of a terrible force! You are the most sinned being here!  
?: No! My mission has failed!  
Mario: Mission?  
Luigi: Failed?  
Yoshi: What's this all about?  
?: No…I'm finished…

Suddenly, the altar trembles once more, and the top blows off completely! Waluigi barely dodges before the lid crashes down on the steps in front of the altar!

Waluigi: Whoa!

Then, a white hand appears from the altar. Then a whitened flowery head appears.

Yoshi: No way.  
Mario: Is that a…  
Luigi: I didn't know…  
Waluigi: Whooa…

A mummified figure comes out from the altar in the guise of a Pokey Mummy wrapped in bandages and containing two arm-like limbs made of bandages.

PM: Who daressss to disssturb the ressssting placcce of the mosssst powerful pharaoh, Hokempokemweh?  
Luigi: Hokempokemweh?  
HPW: Yesss! I, the great Hokempokemweh, masssster of Chaossss magicssss and nonssssenssssical usssse of the extended sssssss.  
Waluigi: This is just the guy we needed: an s-abusive undead pharaoh.  
?: Well maybe, he'd only be an s-abusive pharaoh if I got the chance to complete my ritual assigned to me by my master!  
Waluigi: And that's another thing: who's YOUR master?

HPW: In any casssse, I am now free to roam the earth oncccce more! And I will not ssssstop until I have had my ultimate revenge!  
Yoshi: …what?  
?: I told you I should have completed the ritual.  
Yoshi: Okay, I've had enough of you! Who are you!

Before the figure can respond, Yoshi grabs his hood and pulls back, revealing…WHAT?

Yoshi: Holy crap!  
Waluigi: Augh!  
Mario: *mouth drops*  
Luigi: *imitates brother*  
Other heroes: *…o…m…g…REACTION SHOT!*

The mysterious figure is a Toad!

Toad: Um…don't kill me!  
Eyerok: Defiler of the sacred temple of Hokempokemweh, you are to be crushed beneath our hands, so wills the pharaoh of magical Chaos.  
HPW: That'sssss Chaossssss, fool!  
Eyerok: Sorry, sir.  
HPW: Either extend the ssssss'sssssss, or elssssse help me crush them all!  
Eyerok: Understood master.  
HPW:…right! Time to kill you all now!  
Yoshi: Well this series of unfortunate events was quite unexpected.  
Aroramage: GAWDDAMMIT!  
Gawd: DAMMIT!

Battle 1 START!

_Crypt-Explorers!  
_Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP  
CC: 45 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 55 HP, 40 SP  
Mario: 45 HP, 40 SP  
Lucky: 35 HP, 50 SP  
Gary: 40 HP, 45 SP  
Luigi: 50 HP, 35 SP

_Crypt-Keepers!  
_HPW: 300 HP, 100 SP  
Eyerok – L: 150 HP, 0 SP  
Eyerok – R: 150 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi:…  
Mario:…  
Waluigi:…  
Luigi:…  
Heroes:…  
Aroramage: What?  
Yoshi: Crypt-Explorers?  
Aroramage: Yeah, so?  
Yoshi: Really?  
Aroramage:…yes, really…  
Yoshi:…okay, then.

Yoshi begins to charge the GFC! CC attacks Hokempokemweh! Hokempokemweh takes 12 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the enemy! All enemies take 12, 5, and 4 dge respectively! DK punches Eyerok – L for 12 dge! Mario uses a Fireball for 3 SP on Hokempokemweh! HPW takes CRITICAL 21 dge! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Eyerok – R for 9 dge! Gary bites HPW for 7 dge!

HPW: Ow-wow-wow-wowsssss! That issss not cool!

Luigi strikes a pose, raising up one leg and holding out his arms evenly on either side of his body!

Luigi: This trick I learned while stuck in the dungeons.

Luigi uses 3 SP to light his hands! He then spins around quickly and creates a tornado of flames, then charges at the enemy! The enemy are all hit for 19, 17, and 17 dge respectively!

Luigi: I call that my Flame Tornado!  
HPW: OW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOWSSSSSSSS! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSSSSSSOLENCCCCCE!

Hokempokemweh begins to mutter an incantation! The Eyerok Shield Hokempokemweh!

_Crypt-Explorers!  
_Yoshi: 50 HP, 40 SP (charging!)  
CC: 45 HP, 35 SP  
Waluigi: 45 HP, 35 SP  
DK: 55 HP, 40 SP  
Mario: 45 HP, 37 SP  
Lucky: 35 HP, 50 SP  
Gary: 40 HP, 45 SP  
Luigi: 50 HP, 32 SP

_Crypt-Keepers!  
_HPW: 229 HP, 100 SP (muttering)  
Eyerok – L: 116 HP, 0 SP (shielding)  
Eyerok – R: 120 HP, 0 SP (shielding)

Yoshi continues to charge the GFC! CC attacks and is blocked by Eyerok – R! Eyerok – R takes 5 dge! Waluigi throws a bomb at the Eyerok – R's eye! Eyerok – R takes CRITICAL 23 dge and is blinded!

Eyerok: NOOOO! My eye! My precious right eye! Without it, I have no depth perception!

DK throws a punch and is blocked by Eyerok – L! Eyerok – L takes 12 dge! Mario throws a Fire Punch for 2 SP and is blocked by Eyerok – L! Eyerok – L takes 7 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! Lucky uses the Shooting Star Charm! All heroes gain 5 SP! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! The Eyeroks absorb the attack, taking 15 and 16 dge respectively to Left and Right! Eyerok – L is burned!

Eyerok: AUGH! EYE-BURN! THAT'S WORSE THAN PINK EYE AND RED EYE COMBINED!  
Yoshi: Red eye?  
Eyerok: WHEN YOU BECOME EVIL IN PHOTOGRAPHS!  
Mario:…what?  
Eyerok: You know when you take a picture and it develops, there's sometimes that glow of red in your eyes?  
HPW: WHAT? That wasn't the fiery hatred deep in my soul with its light piercing through my pupils?  
Eyerok: Well, actually, that's just the light reflecting off the blood through the back of your eyes or something like that.  
Yoshi: You get red-eye?  
Eyerok: Well, sure.  
Heroes: O_O  
Eyerok: What?  
Waluigi: You're admitting that YOU CAN BLEED?  
Eyerok: What's wrong with that?  
Heroes: O_O  
HPW: O_O  
Readers: O_O  
Aroramage: O_O  
Eyerok: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?

Luigi is too stunned by this fact to attack!

Eyerok: OH, COME ON!

Hokempokemweh becomes surrounded by a dark circle! Eyerok – L and Eyerok – R surround the heroes and Clap! Mario, Lucky, and Luigi dodge! All other heroes take 29 dge! Eyerok – L takes 5 burn dge!

_Crypt-Explorers!  
_Yoshi: 21 HP, 45 SP (charging!)  
CC: 16 HP, 40 SP  
Waluigi: 16 HP, 40 SP  
DK: 26 HP, 45 SP  
Mario: 45 HP, 40 SP  
Lucky: 35 HP, 47 SP  
Gary: 11 HP, 46 SP (danger!)  
Luigi: 50 HP, 37 SP

_Crypt-Keepers!  
_HPW: 229 HP, 100 SP (muttering) (in a dark circle)  
Eyerok – L: 77 HP, 0 SP (burned!)  
Eyerok – R: 76 HP, 0 SP (blinded!)

Yoshi continues to charge the GFC! CC attacks Eyerok – L for 3 dge! Waluigi decides to utilize a new tactic!

Waluigi: I can't believe nothing like this was thought of sooner!

Waluigi uses 7 SP for Punctuation Bomber! For each "!" prior to this attack's use up to the point of where Eyerok – L takes burn dge, Waluigi brings out a Bob-omb!

HPW: *notices this* Ah freakin' Anuboossssssss…

Total "!": 14

AN: The total number of "!" is counted starting at the most recent battle update above and going down to the sentence, "Waluigi uses 7 SP…" Just to clarify. That is 14 "!"s. And this is why we don't use this attack often. Not to mention YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY FOURTH-WALL BREAKING ABILITIES EVEN THOUGH I'VE ABOLISHED THEM COUNTLESS TIMES!

Waluigi: It's not the Fourth Wall! It's the Willing Suspension of Disbelief!  
Yoshi: That doesn't have anything to do with this story!  
Mario: Why are we talking about this now?  
Waluigi: You're right! We can talk about tropes later, but for now, we gotta beat these guys!  
HPW:…Gawd damn me for being the Ssssssssssealed Evil in a Can.  
Gawd: I CONSIDER YOU DAMNED!

Waluigi uses Punctuation Bomber! He throws 14 Bob-ombs at the opponents, inflicting MASSIVE DAMAGE!

Eyerok: WHAT? HE CAN'T DO THAT! THAT HAS TO BE AGAINST THE RULES!  
Every YGOTAS Fan: *gasp*  
Waluigi: SCREW THE RULES, I'VE GOT HEAVY EXPLOSIVES!  
Explosives: *BOOM!*

The bombing inflicts damage onto Hokempokemweh, Eyerok – L and Eyerok – R equivalent to the tune of CRITICAL 97 dge, 34 dge, and 33 dge respectively!

HPW: That'sssssss a lot of bombsssssssss!  
Eyerok: That's a lot of explosives!  
Waluigi: That's a lot of damage!  
CC: That's a lot of-  
Aroramage: WE'RE DONE!  
CC:…damn, I had a good one too.

DK punches Eyerok – R for 17 dge! Mario punches Eyerok – L for 14 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He brings out the Magic Mirror charm, creating a barrier around the heroes that will last 3 turns!

Yoshi: Didn't that shield last, what, 5 turns at one point?  
Lucky: I only had to defend me back then. Now I'm having to defend all of you guys.  
Waluigi: That's so heroic!  
Lucky: Believe me, I'd almost prefer to protect myself. But I suppose I've changed since Chapter 4.  
Yoshi: Yeah, you've been on all sorts of escapades since then.  
Lucky: It's a good thing I'm not about to have a dying scene, or else this would be foreshadowing.  
Foreshadowing: *does not exist anywhere in the scene…Lucky doesn't die…moving along*

Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! Hokempokemweh's circle of dark magic absorbs the attack! Luigi uses Flame Tornado for 3 SP! He attacks Hokempokemweh! The dark circle shields Hokempokemweh from the attack!

G/L: I wasted 3 SP for THAT?  
HPW: Mwahahahaha! I'm sssssssso ssssssssecretly evil I almost can't sssssssstand it! Now PREPARE TO DIE!

Hokempokemweh is finished with his incantation! He uses Dark Magic Ritualisssssstic Forcccce of the Afterworld! He revives Undead Skeletal Soldiers to aid him!

Yoshi:…undead skeletal soldiers? Really?  
HPW: FWAHAHAHA! TREMBLE IN FEAR BEFORE MY POWERFUL ARMY OF SSSSSSHADOWSSSSSS!  
Yoshi:…really?  
HPW: What? Thissssss issssss classsssssic Ancient Egyptian horror film material right here! Army of the undead that obeyssssss their resssssssssssssurector who hasssssss been revived from the Great Beyond to rule the world!  
Yoshi:…really?  
HPW: Oh you can jussssssst go ssssssstraight to Anubissssss'ssssssss temple of doom!  
Waluigi: Is that anything like the Indiana Jones version, because I would LOVE to see a heart get pulled out of a guy's chest!  
Heroes: O_O  
Villains: O_O  
Readers: O_O  
Readers who haven't seen Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: O_O  
Waluigi:…ritualistically, of course!

Eyerok – R is blind! To protect himself, he shields the wall! Eyerok – L can't believe what stupidity his other half has gotten into and does nothing but get BURNED!

_Crypt-Explorers!  
_Yoshi: 21 HP, 45 SP (charging!)  
CC: 16 HP, 40 SP  
Waluigi: 16 HP, 33 SP  
DK: 26 HP, 45 SP  
Mario: 45 HP, 40 SP  
Lucky: 35 HP, 47 SP  
Gary: 11 HP, 43 SP (danger!)  
Luigi: 50 HP, 34 SP

_Crypt-Keepers!  
_HPW: 132 HP, 100 SP  
Eyerok – L: 21 HP, 0 SP (burned!)  
Eyerok – R: 26 HP, 0 SP (blinded)  
USS1: 15 HP, 0 SP  
USS2: 15 HP, 0 SP  
USS3: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: Seriously, undead skeletal soldiers?  
HPW: Ssssssay it like you mean it! Undead Sssssssskeletal Ssssssssoldierssssss!  
Yoshi:…Waluigi, can you do that move you did before?  
Waluigi: No prob-  
Aroramage: Problem. I'm limiting your move.  
Heroes: WHAT?  
Aroramage: Hey, come on! It's a really strong move! So strong, it's near broken if I don't put a limit on it. Kinda like Gary's Magic Book of Spells. He could continuously learn spells until he knew everything I could think of!  
Gary:...Magic Book of Spells Use-Abuse-no-jutsu…  
Aroramage: Precisely. So I'm limiting Waluigi's Punctuation Bomber in much the same way. After all, a move that can cause at least 150 dge to all opponents is pretty broken.  
Waluigi: IT WAS DIVIDED EVENLY THOUGH!  
HPW: Hey! Evil undead ruler trying to take over the world, here!  
Yoshi: How're we supposed to defeat an army of undead warriors?  
?: HOLD UP THIS FIASCO! AGAIN, IN AMERICA!

Bandit Keith makes his triumphant return!

Yoshi: Oh no…  
BK: Yes, it is I, Bandit Keith, along with my very American friend here! Say hello to Harrison Ford!

Harrison Ford appears!

HF: Hi.  
Everyone: HARRISON FORD?  
HF: Yeah, this is Harrison Ford, quintessential action/drama hero of the modern-day world, accomplished in various raiding of temples, handling terrorists as president, and saving lives as a doctor.  
BK: Yes, Harrison Ford is the most American of all Americans ever to be American! Even Chuck Norris, though infinitely stronger and more powerful than Harrison Ford, bows in respect to Ford! In America!  
HF: Now I heard something about an undead ruler trying to take over the world from my acquaintance Bandit Keith, so I thought I would drop in and say Hi.  
HPW: And what do you plan to do to ssssssssstop me?

Harrison Ford walks up to Hokempokemweh!

HF: *yelling* GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TEMPLE!

Harrison Ford kicks Hokempokemweh! Hokempokemweh is severely injured in the shin by this random assault!

HPW: OW! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD A SSSSSSSSHIN!  
Eyerok: Quick, Master! We must flee from the awesome power of Harrison Ford!  
HPW: Ssssssssssayssssssssssss the bleeding Eyerok!  
Eyerok: SHUT UP AND FLEE!

Hokempokemweh and Eyerok flee the scene of the battle! The Undead Skeletal Soldiers are too slow to dodge Harrison Ford's Punches of Brutality!

END BATTLE!

And so while Hokempokemweh and Eyerok flee the temple like scared not-people, the heroes, Bandit Keith, and Harrison Ford circle around the Toad dressed as Mario and Luigi's captor.

Mario: Where is he?  
Toad: I don't know!  
Luigi: (to Mario) Let me handle this. (to Toad) Where IS he?  
Toad: I DON'T know!  
HF: (to Luigi) Let me handle this. (to Toad) WHERE IS HE?  
Toad: *too terrified to do anything*  
BK: (to Ford) Let me handle this, in America! (to Toad) IS HE IN AMERICA?  
Toad: *still terrified*  
Yoshi: Well, this is getting us nowhere.  
Toad: *…* Eep…  
Everyone: !  
Toad: PLEASE DON'T JUMP AT ME! Look, I don't know anything! I barely remember anything before waking up in this temple dressed like this and being forced by some weirdo with telepathy to follow the instructions near me or die!  
Mario: Great, he knows telepathy. That means he's really powerful or something.  
Luigi: I know he's really powerful! How else do you think he was able to get inside my head and suck out the dark me that is Mr. L?  
HF: Wait, why am I still here? I've got somewhere else to be!  
Yoshi: Where's that?  
HF: VEGAS, BABY!  
BK: I will join you, as Vegas is the only American gambling city for me!  
Yoshi: It's the only American city for gambling.  
BK: Hasta la vista, non-Americans!

And with that, Bandit Keith and Harrison Ford go to Las Vegas, which coincidentally isn't very far from this world.

Waluigi: WHAT? You mean to tell me Vegas is just on the other side of that hill?

…well, I didn't want to say anything, but-

Waluigi: Screw this, we're going to Vegas!  
Heroes: Hell yeah!

And so our heroes venture off over the hill out of the temple to go to Vegas, where all of life's little problems get thrown in with even bigger problems such as gambling, alcoholism, and prostitution! Vegas: what happens here, stays here!

(Dec 17, 2009 - Feb 11, 2010)


	12. Ch 11: Pirates of the Cheep Cheep Ocean

AN:...it's Chapter Eleven...yay!

When we last left Wario, he had just escaped a tunnel and grabbed onto a tree root – one of which grabbed back! Struggling against the root's tight grip, Wario is dragged off the wall and up above its top edge. Over the top, Wario struggles against the root trying to break free but to no avail. Opening his eyes, Wario looks out and discovers his whereabouts.

He has been raised up by a burnt-dark tree to a height above the clouds, with an evening sunset far off in the distance that never seems to continue rising or falling. Another tree is on the opposite side of the floating island, and both trees appear to have a large dark spire in their centers. Both trees contain a variety of curving branches, one of which grabs Wario from the root and brings him up further into the atmosphere. Between the trees is an enormous castle made of bricks and stones of varying shades of grey.

The castle itself was composed of four low-level towers with two mid-level towers that were dwarfed by a large central tower, yet nothing was perfectly straight but rather twisted and gnarled, as if a dimensional flux had warped the castle into a dysfunctional shape that seemed highly unstable. All across the castle's walls were deep cracks that emphasized time-weariness and age. Nothing about the castle seemed sturdy, just as the island in question did not seem sturdy with the various roots of trees twisting throughout its inward workings or simply overall the general feel of the isle, as if ruin and oblivion would be just as imminent as rotting and decaying into nothing.

Yet nothing was more misplaced than a solitary flower near the castle's edge, one from which a deep blue color shimmered in the evening glow, even though the sun seemed to be setting on the opposite side of the castle – or was it that the flower itself was shimmering with a bioluminescent light? This appeared to no longer be Wario's concern, as the branch raised him up to the carved window of the tallest tower, and from there, Wario took sight of an entirely different room.

Inside, the room was deeper in blues and purples and blacks of all shades dark and dreary. Curtains near the window entrance were fabricated with knots of thread that were frayed, almost appropriately with the holes that could be seen within the curtains when a light shone through them. In the center of this room was a table and on top of this table was a crystal ball, clear and transparent such that Wario could look through it and find a warped image of the room itself through it.

Throughout the room were bookshelves, slanted and aged just like the castle towers, and upon them were books and tomes and novels and encyclopedias and all sorts of literary attractions that would make the eye dazzle. It seemed that just about every book ever made was on these shelves, all covered with a firm layer of dust. Cobwebs hung in the between parts of the wall and the support beams above that held the ceiling above Wario's head in place.

Taking it all in, Wario almost began to become fascinated with his captor. He reached out to fetch a book when suddenly the wooden door opposite the window opened wide, and there stood the enigmatic enemy of this epic: ?.

?: Hello, Wario. I have much to tell you.

Wario was surprised at this intrusion and almost instinctively got into a fighting stance.

?: Don't fear me, I have no reason to fight you this time.  
Wario: Wait, we fought before?  
?: Only once.

? reaches out with a charred finger and touches Wario's forehead. All of a sudden, the events of their battle came back into Wario's head.

Wario: Hey! I remember that! That was some cheap mumbo-jumbo you pulled!  
?: Call it what you want, but I assessed what I needed to.  
Wario: And then you wiped my memory so I couldn't remember anything!  
?: No, I simply embedded the thought deep within your unconsciousness, only to bring it forth when the time was right, just as I was to summon you when the time came.

? walks over to the table, and with a flick of his wrist he summons two old-fashioned wooden chairs to sit in.

?: Now please, sit. There isn't much to tell you that wouldn't ruin what I have in store for you and your fellow compatriots, but I will tell you a truth long kept secret. Afterwards, I will send this memory deep into your preconscious mind and leave it there until the proper stimuli comes along that will trigger the memory.  
Wario: *intrigued* Oh yeah? And why would I do that?  
?: Because then you will know more of an enemy you've never known before. And even then, there's not much you and your comrades can do to eliminate me. Now please, sit. I will begin to tell you everything.  
Wario: Like what?  
?: I suppose the easiest place to start with is my name…

**Chapter 11: Pirates of the Cheep-Cheep Ocean: The Never-Ending Search for More Money**

When we last left our wonderful and glorious heroes, they had retrieved (sort of) the Power Stars from the Shifting Sand Lands and been apart of the great and wonderful experience that is Las Vegas, accompanied by Bandit Keith and Harrison Ford, who gave them the Power Stars after retrieving them from a mysterious treasure chest hidden beneath the altar of the newly resurrected Hokempokemweh. In any case, they now return to the castle basement and prepare to unlock another door with a Star on it, just as they did with Bowser and the Dark Sea, in order to proceed to the world's most anticipated chapter of:

SUPER MARIO 64 DS CARA!

…yeah, there's your exposition.

So they open the doorway and find a long corridor – and at the end of it, two portals!

Yoshi: Two portals?  
Mario: You know, I remember there was something peculiar about this room.  
Yoshi: Yeah, but, come on! Two portals?  
Waluigi: Well, at least there's only the blue one.  
Yoshi: And the well-shaped portal in the ground!  
Waluigi: I know, but as long as it's not orange, we won't be in a continuous loop going from the blue to the orange and back again.  
AN: GET THE REFERENCE OR DIE!  
Yoshi:...yeesh...  
Mario: Anyway, if I remember right, these two worlds are actually connected by a mysterious means. And even more so, they connect back to the castle.  
DK: Really?  
Luigi: Oh yeah, I remember! So which one do we go through?  
Mario: I think blue's safest.  
Waluigi: What makes you say that?  
Mario: "Portal in the wall, safe for us all. Portal in a well, going to hell."  
Gary: That's kinda catchy.  
Mario: And to think we made a sign to remind us of that phrase.

Nearby is a random sign saying just what Mario said. Above this is a title: Phrase of the Day.

CC: Then through yonder portal we venture through!  
Lucky: Hey wait, why don't I have any lines now?

And so our intrepid explorers bravely jump forward into the blue portal which forms the wall beyond the well-shaped portal, falling through wonderful weirdness and find their next location:

DIRE, DIRE DOCKS!

…yeah, there's your location introduction…

And so our heroes fall from the sky and immediately into water. Literally, they fall into the water.

Yoshi: Remind me again whose bright idea it was to stick a portal IN THE SKY!  
Mario: Probably the same person who put portraits up in the highest parts of the tower at Peach's Castle.  
Waluigi: Prin-cess Peach, Prin-cess Peach, let down your gold hair!  
Luigi: We tried that joke once. I don't think it went over very well.  
Lucky: Why's that?  
Luigi: Let's just say it loses its charm when she finds you snooping through her drawers.  
Waluigi: You know, I think all we found was a bunch of mini-games and no real panties. What kind of a princess keeps mini-games in her drawers?  
Luigi: *flush* Anyways, I think we should get back to wondering why we're here.  
Waluigi: Honestly, who goes to some dresser looking to put on a pair of mini-games? That's just silly! For instance, what if Princess Peach was wearing Mushroom Roulette, or Loves me…? Or maybe Sort or 'Splode?  
Luigi: *face is completely red* Coming back to the mission at hand here.  
Waluigi: Or maybe Trampoline Time, Shell Shuffle, or even Lucky St-  
Luigi: *aneurism* BACK TO THE MISSION!

And so after that little side trip, the heroes swim over to the nearest beach to plan out their strategy.

Yoshi: So…what's our strategy?  
DK: Beats me.  
Mario: If rumor has it, then Bowser should have had some ships here.  
Lucky: And where did you hear that?  
Mario: That sign saying, "Bowser's fleet is here at Dire, Dire Docks."

Sure enough, Mario points to a sign saying that very same thing. It's titled "Randomly Useful Information."

Yoshi: Who keeps putting these signs up?

…anyways…

Mario: We should just swim over to the other side.  
Lucky: But how are we gonna do that?  
Waluigi: SWIMMING!  
Heroes:…  
Waluigi: What?  
Mario: That's the obvious method. Last time we went with that, you rejected the idea and decided to overdo things.  
Waluigi: What are you suggesting?  
Mario: That you'll try and make a Jaws reference.  
Waluigi: Now that's just plain silly! *aside* Note to self: Jaws reference is a no-go till later…  
Mario: I think there's only one way we're getting through this.  
Gary: Just find the tunnel we need to swim through?  
Mario: Pretty much.  
Yoshi: How hard can that be?  
Waluigi: I DON'T THINK I CAN SWIM!  
Heroes: …  
Waluigi:…or at least not in shark-infested waters.  
Luigi: Don't worry, Waluigi. There aren't any sharks native to Dire, Dire Docks.  
Lucky: Except maybe those.

Looking down through the water, the heroes spy with their little eyes a couple of sharks swimming around.

Luigi:…well, even then, it's a long shot from "shark-infested." More like "shark-inhabited."  
Waluigi: Just when we thought it was safe to go into the water.  
Mario: Gawddammit!  
Gawd: IS THERE NO REST FOR ME?  
Yoshi:...uh, yeah, let's just go…

And so our heroes triumphantly-

Waluigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Mario: Now what?  
Waluigi: Look! On the surface of the water!

Looking across the top of the water, the heroes spy a curious group of creatures, the Skeeters.

Luigi: What about them?  
Waluigi: They're sucky spiders!  
Yoshi: Ugh, they are NOT sucky spiders.  
Waluigi:…they're AQUATIC sucky spiders!  
Heroes: Aww...  
Waluigi: Just look at them all scuttling – or skeeting across the plane of water!  
Luigi: Remind me again how it is you are MY alter-ego?  
Waluigi: Wario needed a bro…and I'm lonely.  
Luigi: o_O  
Mario: Let's-a go!

The heroes triumphantly dive into the water! And then they swim down to the bottom and find the tunnel. They swim through the tunnel and all of its curves to the tune of some of the most relaxing music ever to be on a Mario game. AND YOU KNOW IT!

(Water World)

After appearing at the other end of the tunnel, the heroes find that…there's no sub here? There's supposed to be a giant sub here!

Yoshi: Does that mean what I think it means?  
Mario: Bowser…  
DK: He's already taken off!

Looking around, the heroes seek a means of pursuit.

Yoshi: There!

A small sailing ship can be seen from beneath the water!

AN: Don't forget, water dialect is all guzzly and gurgly.

The heroes surface from below and recover all of their health.

Yoshi: Wait, we were losing health?  
Mario: That's the thing about being underwater. You lose health until you hit the surface.  
Yoshi:…man, why is it in some games we can breathe underwater without this problem and in others it's not so?  
Mario: Beats-a me.

They then sneak over to the side and discover the ship being boarded by some Goombas.

Goomba1: Hurry up with the supplies, will ya?  
Goomba2: *urf* It's heavy! Cut us some slack!  
Goomba3: Slack!  
Goomba1: Look, we have to catch up with the rest of the fleet or else Bowser'll have our heads!  
Gary: Wait a minute…I know these guys!

Gary runs over to his ex-comrades!

Goomba2: Look, I'm giving it all I've got, dude!  
Goomba1: Yeah? Well then give it some…Gary?  
Goomba2: Give it some Gary? That doesn't make any…*sees Gary*…what the?  
Gary: Here, let me help with that.

Gary browses the Book of Spells for a levitating spell!

Gary: Upsie-dahsie, upsi-mahsie, upsy-daisy!

The supplies box is lifted up into the air and gently placed onto the ship.

Goomba1: No way!  
Goomba2: I can't believe it!  
Goomba3: It!  
Goomba1: Is it really true, Gary? You can actually perform magic?  
Gary: It's true, Gerald. I am a MagiGoomba!  
Gerald: That is so intense, man! Greg! Gilderoy! Check it out, guys! Gary's come back!  
Greg: Dude, I can't believe you managed to become a MagiGoomba! And the first one ever!  
Gilderoy: Ever!  
Gary: Well, it just goes to show you that with hard work, perseverance, and determination, anything is possible!  
Yoshi: Like hijacking a ship!  
Gerald: Yeah, like hijacking a-OH HELL NO YOU DON'T!

Gerald head-bonks Yoshi so he can't board the ship!

Yoshi: Ah, come on!  
Gerald: NO! WE ARE LATE AS IS, AND WE ARE NOT GIVING YOU THIS SHIP!  
Gary: But the fate of the world may depend on it! And besides, if you arrive at this point, Bowser will still have you off with your heads.  
Gerald: Hmm…well, you may have a point there.  
Greg: But then what will we do? We can't go back to Bowser like this!  
Gilderoy: This!  
Gerald:…if you take this ship, you must fly under your own colors.  
Gary: We'll do what we must.  
Gerald: Certainly no getting in your way, am I right?  
Gary: That's the idea.  
Gerald: Then we'll give you the ship.  
Gary: What will you do?  
Gerald: Probably best to depart for parts unknown. We will meet again, Gary. Believe me.  
Greg: Believe us!  
Gilderoy: Us!  
Gary: Guys…thank you.  
Gerald: Don't mention it! I've always dreamed of being a legendary samurai anyway. Heck, if you can be a MagiGoomba, then I see no reason that I can't be a samurai!  
Greg: And we'll be with you all the way, Gerald!  
Gilderoy: Gerald!  
Gerald: Thanks guys. Well, then we're off!

And so do the three Goombas leave for parts unknown. And the heroes acquired a ship!

Yoshi: Now, onto the high seas!

And so the heroes set off towards the ocean in their ship called _Destiny_, where they will journey forth and find adventure, danger, thrills, and excitement in the world of:

SUPER MARIO 64 DS CARA!

Yoshi:…why did you bring this back?

Hey, gotta make use of this! A couple of, let's say, minutes pass and the heroes are out on the high seas.

Yoshi: Minutes? Why minutes?

Because I said so, dammit! While sailing the vast seas, they encounter a ship.

Yoshi: A ship, you say.

Yes, it's a ship, just go with it. Looking through the spyglass, the Crimson Crusader spies the ship's colors.

Yoshi: What're their colors?  
CC: *looking* Looks like…brown, dark brown, with a little white, and then various shades of blue, white, brown, red, dark green, and black on the crew's clothes.  
Yoshi: …what about the flag?  
CC: They don't appear to have a flag.  
Waluigi: PIRATES!  
Heroes: *look at Waluigi*  
Waluigi: What? It's a novel fact that those who don't sail colors of any kind are either flagless or pirates…also, I wanted to shout that out really badly.  
Yoshi: *back to CC* Can you identify the captain?  
CC: *spying* I don't think so…it's kinda odd, though.  
Yoshi: What's that?  
CC: There seems to be no movement from most of the crew on the ship.  
Waluigi: PIRATES!  
Heroes: ¬¬  
Waluigi:…that is, pirate reapers stole their immortal souls and now they're damned to Davy Jones's locker for all of eternity.  
Yoshi: *shakes head, back to CC* Anything else?  
CC: Not really…wait a minute!  
Yoshi: Yes?  
CC: There seem to be people coming out of the cabin area…AND THEY APPEAR TO BE WOMEN!  
Waluigi: PIRATES!  
Heroes: *facepalm*  
Waluigi: Piratical women reapers who stole the immortal souls of the poor crew of that ship and want to trap others like sirens' song!  
Yoshi: That's it, no more Legend of Sinbad for you.  
Waluigi: Ahhh…  
Mario: Prepare to make contact.

The _Destiny_ makes its way towards the ship of mysteries.

Yoshi: It's not THAT mysterious.

DRAMATIC NARRATION, PLEASE! Anyway, they make their way to board the suspicious mysterious ship of who-knows-what and find the ship's crew to be dummies.

Yoshi: Dummies?  
Mario: Straw dummies.  
CC: I was wondering what that golden lining coming from their necks was.  
Yoshi: You think that means what I think it means?  
?: I KNOW IT DOES!

All of a sudden, pirates attack! …wait…

?: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Remi, Flan, and Patch of Touhou fame appear in their Spanish Inquisition garb to surprise the heroes!

Flan: Surprise! :P  
Remi: That's right, we're the pirates of this ship, and we're here to take all your booty!  
Heroes:…*pfffft* *ROFL ensues*  
Remi: Hey, HEY! I'm not kidding! We're here to take your treasures and whatever valuable objects you have on you!  
Heroes: *Rofl goes into a lol and into a hehehe sequence until it finally dawns on them that they are in actual trouble*  
Waluigi: She said booty.  
Remi: *angrily blushes* Now listen here! We're going to steal your valuables, and there's not a damn thing that's gonna-  
Heroes: *go back to ROFLing*  
Remi: OH COME ON!  
Patch: Remi, I'm kinda bored. When are we going to take their stuff?  
Flan: Can I take the rabbit? He'd go perfectly with my other stuffed animals.  
CC: *overhears this, stops laughing, and is frozen in terror*  
Remi: *to Heroes* WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOTS!  
Heroes: *again, go from laughing to "You were serious?" phase*  
Waluigi: She said valuables.  
Remi: AND YOU! CUT THAT OUT! Honestly, you try and trick an idiot, and they'll just start-  
Waluigi: *ROFLs*  
Remi: …  
Flan&Patch: …  
Other Heroes: …  
Waluigi: *again…you know the drill* Oh wait, you didn't say something that could be interpreted as a sexual innuendo…my bad!  
Remi: GAH! What the hell is WRONG with you?  
Yoshi: Don't mind him. He's always like that.  
Waluigi:…my bro thinks I'm special…  
Luigi: We can see that.  
Remi: Enough of this! Flan, Patch, prepare for assault!  
Everyone but Remi: *ROFL sequence*  
Remi: Gawddammit all to hell!  
?: DID SOMEBODY SAY MY NAME?

Out of the horizon appears the _Divinity_!

Gawd: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE! HONESTLY, WHAT'S GOING ON SO OFTEN THAT PEOPLE NEED TO GAWDDAMN EVERYTHING?  
Assistant: Sir, there appear to be more requests for damnation.  
Gawd: CONSIDER IT DAMNED!  
Assistant: The requested damnation or the request itself?  
Gawd: BOTH OF THEM! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS IRONY HAPPENING! NO ONE'S GOING TO STOP MY RAMPAGE THROUGH THIS PLOT! NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY!  
?: Nothing except ye ol' companions!

Out of the horizon appears the _Vengeance_!

BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, there be nothing to stand in the way of me and my all-star crew of rapscallions! And Chao!  
TRC: Sup!  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: You may recall:

Luffy, the Crazy Rubberband-Man!  
Admiral Razorbeard, the Cutthroat Terror!  
Tetra, the Piratical Beauty!  
Cortez, the Skeletal Menace!  
Ridley, the Cosmic Horror!  
Cecil, the Red Wing Leader!  
And Jonathan Jones, the Bloodthirsty Shark!

TRC: If you don't, you ain't seen nothing yet!  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: That's right, Chao! AND NOW NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM EXACTING MY VENGEANCE UPON YOU HEROES FOR STEALING MY STARS! AND FOR ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TA FIGHT, I'LL BE THAR!  
?: As will we!

Out of the horizon appears the _Imagination_!

Yoshi: Oh come on!  
Goomboshi: Fwahaha! Yes, we are indeed to be coming on!  
Everyone:…*ROFL sequence*  
Goomboshi: What, what? What's everyone laughing about?  
Shrawful: *whispers Shroobish into Goomboshi's ear*  
Goomboshi: *reacts to the whispers* Uh-huh…yeah…uh-huh…really?...so that's why…oh, okay, gotcha. *turning back to everyone else* HEY! SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE!  
Everyone: *…yeah, we've done this joke already*  
Goomboshi: I don't have the slightest clue what my first mate has told me, but it seems that I misspoke. What I meant to say was something along the lines of, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF IMPORTANCE TOWARDS THE STORY!" Or something to that effect.  
Shrawful: *nods*  
?: That's what you think!

Out of the horizon, another ship appears!

Yoshi: What the hell, mage?  
?: Behold, the captain!

On deck, Captain Crunch appears!

Lucky: Crunch?  
CaptC: Lucky?  
Lucky: What're you doing here?  
CaptC: I'm sailing the seas looking for you! And now that we've seen each other, there will be NOTHING TO STAND IN OUR GLORIOUS MIGHT! THE BREAKFAST BRIGADE SHALL MAKE A TRIUMPHANT RETURN FROM BEYOND THE BEYOND!  
?: As will we!

Out of the horizon appears the _Haunted_!

Yoshi: Okay, this is getting a little out-of-hand here.  
KB: A little? A LITTLE? WHO BLEW UP OUR FLEEP-FLEEPING HOME?  
Ghoulman: I. AM. BAAAAAAACK!  
Yoshi:…oh yeah…our bad?  
KB: YOU ARE BAD, INDEED! AND NOW WE HAVE COME TO SEEK REVENGE FOR OUR HOME THAT YOU SO WRONGFULLY DESTROYED!  
?: Assssss well assssss the home that you forccccccefully assssssssssssserted your sssssssuppossssssed dominancccccce over and robbed me of my power sssssssourcccccccce!  
Yoshi: Grambi, you've got to be kidding me.

Out of the horizon, another ship appears!

HPW: Guessssssss who?  
Waluigi: Guys, I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.  
HPW: I have come back to take my revenge!  
Eyerok: We have returned to make sure it happens!  
HPW: And there will be nothing to get in my way! *to Eyerok* And pleassssse, emphassssssizzzzzze your "sssssssssss" sssssssssoundsssssss.  
Eyerok: Yes…sssssssir.  
?: Not before we come in!

Out of nowhere, yet another ship appears!

Yoshi: Oh come on, you've gotta be kidding me!  
?: Behold, the mighty _Sandwich_ in all of its glory! Sandwichians! Assemble!

Bread!  
Lettuce!  
Tomato!  
Mustard!  
Mayo!  
Oregano!

?: And I'm…

BACON!

And we are the Sandwichians!

Everyone:...WTF?  
Bacon: Now prepare yourself for the ultimate showdown!  
Waluigi: Of ultimate destiny?  
Bacon: What?  
Waluigi: Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see?  
Bacon: No!  
Waluigi: And only one will survive-  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: -I wonder who it will be!  
Everyone: This is the ultimate showdown!  
Bacon: NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS! WE WILL FIGHT YOU ALL!

GRAND BATTLE 1 START!

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 75 HP, 60 SP  
CC: 65 HP, 55 SP  
Waluigi: 60 HP, 50 SP  
DK: 80 HP, 60 SP  
Mario: 70 HP, 65 SP  
Lucky: 50 HP, 70 SP  
Gary: 60 HP, 75 SP  
Luigi: 75 HP, 55 SP

_Vengeance!_  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1500 HP, 200 SP  
TRC: 500 HP, 350 SP  
Luffy: 350 HP, 100 SP  
Admiral Razorbeard (ARZD): 250 HP, 100 SP  
Tetra: 150 HP, 50 SP  
Cortez: 250 HP, 75 SP  
Ridley: 450 HP, 50 SP  
Cecil: 350 HP, 100 SP  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 200 HP, 100 SP

_Divinity!_  
Gawd: 9001 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 500 HP, 50 SP  
Angelle1: 250 HP, 25 SP  
Angelle2: 250 HP, 25 SP  
Angelle3: 250 HP, 25 SP

_Imagination!_  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP  
Shrawful: 45 HP, 25 SP  
Someone (from Ch. 3): 15 HP, 0 SP  
Awkward Pause (from Ch. 6): 15 HP, 0 SP  
Awkward Pause's Wife (from Ch. 6): 10 HP, 0 SP  
Awkward Pause Jr. (from Ch. 6): 5 HP, 0 SP  
Nowhere (from Ch. 7): 15 HP, 0 SP  
Ten2One (from Ch. 7): 10 HP, 1 SP  
Sue (from Ch. 8): 5 HP, 0 SP  
ParaToad (from Ch. 9): 15 HP, 5 SP  
Jeff, the Poor Guy from Behind the Counter (from Ch. 10): 5 HP, 0 SP

_Complete Breakfast!_  
Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Toucan Sam: 35 HP, 15 SP  
Puey: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Susey: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Louis: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Tony: 50 HP, 20 SP  
Snap: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Chip: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Sonny: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 30 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 30 HP, 35 SP

_Haunted!_  
King Boo: 450 HP, 60 SP  
Ghoulman: 250 HP, 30 SP  
Boo1: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Boo2: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Boo3: 50 HP, 0 SP

_Matet!_  
Hokempokemweh (HPW): 350 HP, 150 SP  
Eyerok – L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Eyrok – R: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Undead Skeletal Soldier1: 35 HP, 0 SP  
USS2: 35 HP, 0 SP  
USS3: 35 HP, 0 SP

_Sandwich!_  
Bacon: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Bread: 10 HP, 0 SP  
Lettuce: 10 HP, 0 SP  
Tomato: 10 HP, 0 SP  
Mustard: 5 HP, 0 SP  
Mayo: 5 HP, 0 SP  
Oregano: 5 HP, 0 SP

**The Red Chao chose 1: Authoritative Editorial!**

Yoshi: Wait a minute, how come he can do that?  
Aroramage: He's a user. And a character. Mainly a user.  
Waluigi: User of what exactly?  
Aroramage: The Internet and the CARA Forum. I thought I explained this with BM/Crystal King/MSM1 already!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, I be thinkin' ya did!  
Yoshi: How come we don't have that power?  
Aroramage: You are just a character. You are not a user. Only when you become a user may you gain the power to decide these things and alter the course of your story forever!  
Waluigi: *sniffs something, realizes what mage meant, and puts away the sharpie*  
Yoshi: And how do we become a user?  
Aroramage: That's completely impossible.

…

Aroramage: …unless…I use…

THE POWER OF LOVE!

Yoshi: ¬¬  
Aroramage: Anyway, authorial editorial powers, ACTIVATE!

And so, with my powers, I…I…uh-huh…well, this is awkward.

Yoshi: What is?  
Aroramage: I'm actually not sure what to do with my powers at the moment. I've only done this once, but now that I have authorial editorial powers, I don't just have the ability to write this story but alter it in the past in ways that could affect the present and possibly the future. I've been given the greatest power of all! Even more so than Gawd!  
Gawd: BLASPHEMY!  
Aroramage: Well, I guess there's one obvious thing I can do…

Using the powers of authorial editorial powers, I grant the heroes a POWER BOOST! Again!

New Stats:

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 90 HP, 80 SP  
CC: 85 HP, 75 SP  
Waluigi: 85 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 95 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 90 HP, 80 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 90 SP  
Gary: 75 HP, 85 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 75 SP

Yoshi:…that's it?  
Aroramage: You're a lot stronger now, too. Trust me!  
Yoshi:…I don't trust you.  
Aroramage: BUT I'M THE AUTHOR!  
Yoshi:...surely you can do more than just that!  
Waluigi: OH! I WANT TO FIGHT CHEESE!  
Everyone: ?  
Waluigi:…what?  
Bacon: MAKE IT SO! PLEASE! We really need the recruits!  
HPW: That'sssssssss not fair! What about the ressssssst of usssssss?  
KB: If they get some Cheep-Cheeping assistance, than WE ALL should get some Cheep-Cheeping assistance!  
Ghoulman: I. CONCUR!  
Aroramage: Oh, that reminds me!

Now I shall change the refusal of Ghoulman joining the heroes so that he does!

Yoshi: But doesn't that alter the entire course of the past two chapters or so?  
Aroramage: He joins now!  
Ghoulman: I. WON'T. GO! *poof* …I. AM. YOURS!

And so Ghoulman floats over to the heroes!

KB: WHAT? THAT'S EVEN WORSE!

New Stats:

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 90 HP, 80 SP  
CC: 85 HP, 75 SP  
Waluigi: 85 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 95 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 90 HP, 80 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 90 SP  
Gary: 75 HP, 85 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 75 SP  
Ghoulman: 105 HP, 65 SP

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, how're we supposing ta beat this here new team of heroes?  
TRC: We should act one-dimensionally and gang up on them! That's worked before, right?  
Enemies: NO!  
TRC:…awww…  
Bacon: Enough of this mockery of our talents-that-aren't-evident-as-of-yet! WE ATTACK! GO SANDWICHIANS! ULTIMATE ATTACK!

The Sandwichians combine themselves into a giant monstrosity of such heinous appearance that this auto-typing mechanism cannot possibly describe the horror that they have become in any phrase other than their namesake: a giant sandwich.

Yoshi:…what the hell…  
Sandwich: BEHOLD OUR GREAT AND GLORIOUS UBER FORM! THOU SHALT NOT SLAY ME SO EASILY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Mario:…Crimson, can I ask a favor?  
CC: *slides out sword* It would be my pleasure.

CC jumps in the air and slices the giant Sandwich!

Sandwich: AUGH! SHARP METAL BLADES! BUT HOW COULD YOU KNOW THAT WAS ONE OF OUR WEAKNESSES?  
Yoshi: Dude, you're a giant sandwich.

The Sandwich is decimated! Without any explanation why, it explodes! The Sandwichians are sent flying!

Sandwichians: Looks like the Sandwichians are not making this reference ever again! *TWINKLE, BITCH*  
Mario: Right. *turns to other villains* Now that THAT'S out of the way, we can-  
?: Hey! What about us?

Remi, Flan, and Patchy (completely forgotten from the battle list at the beginning, cut me some slack) have appeared on the sidelines for some reason…oh wait, they're holding bags and chests of treasure from the other ships as ransom hostages.

Waluigi: Don't you mean random hostages?

I know what I said!

Remi: Nyehehehe! Now that we have all of your TREASURE, we'll be making you all walk the plank off our boat!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, when did they steal our loot?  
HPW: How come I didn't think of that sssssssssooner?  
KB: I can't believe that I was too busy with my loss to notice! Oh wait, never mind! *sobs for Ghoulman*  
Yoshi: We had treasure to be stolen already?  
Patchy: No. Frankly, your ship sucks.  
Waluigi: HEY! I TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO OFFENSE TO THAT! AT ALL!  
Flan: It's okay, you guys still can make up for it in battle! :-)  
BMS/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, I dare not think ye be taking me treasure and puttin' it up fer prizes!  
KB: I agree on the grounds that THAT'S EVERYTHING I OWN!  
Remi: Look, we're taking the treasure, no matter what!  
?: N0T IF W3 ST0P Y0U!  
Yoshi: Mage, you didn't…  
Aroramage: I did.

From out of nowhere once again, another random group of people appear…or should I say, ROBOT PIRATES!

RPC: Yargh-har, fiddle-dee-dee, we are teh piratez!  
Yoshi: Why, Mage? Do you hate us or something? I mean, really?  
Aroramage: No, but the longer this update is, the more likely people will appreciate the quality of my work.  
Yoshi: Yeah, but not if it's eight pages of CRAP!  
Aroramage: HEY! I TAKE A LOT OF OFFENSE TO THAT!  
Waluigi: Do you like updates,  
yeah we like updates,  
do you like new posts,  
yeah we like new posts,  
do you like CARAs,  
yeah we like CARAs,  
Doo, doo-doo, doo,  
Can't wait to read some more, yeah!  
Everyone else: WTF?  
RPC: H3Y! ST0P WITH THE 1GNORING OF UZ! WE ARE HERE TO ROB YOU OF ALL YOUR B00TY!  
Everybody now: *bursts out laughing*  
RPC: WAT? WAT I5 50 FUNNEEEE? DOES NOT COMPUTE! D035 N0T C0MPUTE! ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ERROR, ER- *head burst*  
Other Robot Pirates: …*scatter*  
Everyone else: *simmer, simmer, simmer, stew*  
Waluigi: He said, "booty."  
Remi: Enough of this! Attacking us will do you no good!

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 90 HP, 80 SP  
CC: 85 HP, 75 SP  
Waluigi: 85 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 95 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 90 HP, 80 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 90 SP  
Gary: 75 HP, 85 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 75 SP  
Ghoulman: 105 HP, 65 SP

_Vengeance!_  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1500 HP, 200 SP  
TRC: 500 HP, 350 SP  
Luffy: 350 HP, 100 SP  
Admiral Razorbeard (ARZD): 250 HP, 100 SP  
Tetra: 150 HP, 50 SP  
Cortez: 250 HP, 75 SP  
Ridley: 450 HP, 50 SP  
Cecil: 350 HP, 100 SP  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 200 HP, 100 SP

_Divinity!_  
Gawd: 9001 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 500 HP, 50 SP  
Angelle1: 250 HP, 25 SP  
Angelle2: 250 HP, 25 SP  
Angelle3: 250 HP, 25 SP

_Imagination!_  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP  
Shrawful: 45 HP, 25 SP  
Someone (from Ch. 3): 15 HP, 0 SP  
Awkward Pause (from Ch. 6): 15 HP, 0 SP  
Awkward Pause's Wife (from Ch. 6): 10 HP, 0 SP  
Awkward Pause Jr. (from Ch. 6): 5 HP, 0 SP  
Nowhere (from Ch. 7): 15 HP, 0 SP  
Ten2One (from Ch. 7): 10 HP, 1 SP  
Sue (from Ch. 8): 5 HP, 0 SP  
ParaToad (from Ch. 9): 15 HP, 5 SP  
Jeff, the Poor Guy from Behind the Counter (from Ch. 10): 5 HP, 0 SP

_Complete Breakfast!_  
Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Toucan Sam: 35 HP, 15 SP  
Puey: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Susey: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Louis: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Tony: 50 HP, 20 SP  
Snap: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 30 HP, 25 SP  
Chip: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Sonny: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 30 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 30 HP, 35 SP

_Haunted!_  
King Boo: 450 HP, 60 SP  
Ghoulman: 250 HP, 30 SP  
Boo1: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Boo2: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Boo3: 50 HP, 0 SP

_Matet!_  
Hokempokemweh (HPW): 350 HP, 150 SP  
Eyerok – L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Eyrok – R: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Undead Skeletal Soldier1: 35 HP, 0 SP  
USS2: 35 HP, 0 SP  
USS3: 35 HP, 0 SP

_Touhou_ *protected by ransom hostages*  
Remi: 169 HP, 34 SP  
Flan: 217 HP, 23 SP  
Patch: 142 HP, 43 SP

Yoshi: Why are your guys' scores all odd?  
Remi: What, you think it was easy stealing all this treasure?  
Waluigi:…69…

MUSIC OF THE BATTLE: U.N. OWEN WAS HER?

Yoshi charges the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos! CC attacks BM/Crystal King/MSM1 for 19 dge! Waluigi chucks a Bob-omb at Team Divinity for 46 dge to them! DK punches Luffy for 13 dge! Mario and Luigi partner up!

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

The bros spend 3 SP each for Splash Bros.! Mario jumps in the air and bounces off Luigi spinning! Luigi grabs Mario's legs, then the two propeller up and smash down on Ridley for 76 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Magical Mirror Charm to summon a barrier to protect the heroes! Gary uses 3 SP for Lightning Roar! He hits Jonathan Jones for CRITICAL 57 dge! Ghoulman sneaks around and scares TRC before attacking him for 22 dge!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1 pulls out a sword! He sets it ablaze for 5 SP! He attacks CC! The two become engaged in a duel and are removed from the fight! TRC summons up a small cannon for 15 SP!

TRC: Fear the mighty Chao because Argh!

TRC fires the cannon at Luigi! But the barrier reflects the blast at TRC!

TRC:…crap, how'd I forget about that already? Damn one-dimensional attacking strategy.

TRC gets blown up for 132 dge! Luffy draws back his arm and fires Gum-Gum Rocket! DK's hit for 22 dge! Admiral Razorbeard charges at Waluigi and smashes him for 14 dge! Tetra climbs up the lookout post! Cortez uses his four limbs to attack Luigi, who gracefully dodges the attacks! Ridley flies into the air! Cecil attacks Gary for 10 dge! Jonathan Jones strikes at Mario for 12 dge!

Gawd, Assistant, and the Angelles fly above the clouds and pursue Ridley!

Gawd: MAY I HAVE MERCY UPON YOUR SOUL…NOT!

Gawd uses Damnation for 17 SP! He smites Ridley for 160 dge! Ridley screeches, lowering the defense of Assistant and the Angelles who prepare to defend against Ridley's attack! Assistant Assists Gawd, recovering his stats to full! The Angelles defend!

Goomboshi consumes Louis and spits him out at Puey for 5 dge to each! Shrawful dances around Tony and fires a laser at him for 7 dge! Someone confronts Mario!

Someone: I told you I was your father.  
Mario: Well, then, you're Luigi's father too.  
Someone: What? Luigi? Really? Oh crap…

Someone walks back to his spot. Awkward Pause and his family stand awkwardly next to Someone. Nowhere does nothing. Ten2One uses Statistical Analysis for 1 SP!

Ten2One: A meteor will fall in 4 turns!

Sue walks to Jeff and asks him out on a date! Jeff accepts! +3 Charisma! +4 Exp! +2 Hooray for Jeff! +1000 for Nobody Cares! Jeff and Sue leave the field in a lifeboat! ParaToad flies into the air, only to be smacked down by Ridley and suffer 20 dge! ParaToad is KO'd!

Captain Crunch prepares to blast the Crunchitizer Cannon! Toucan Sam follows Tetra up the lookout post with Puey, Susey, and Louis! Tony earns his stripes for 2 SP, giving himself an attack boost! Snap, Crackle, and Pop all attack Luffy for 13, 12, and 14 dge respectively! Chip the Wolf builds a Ridiculous Contraption for 7 SP! He boards it and attacks Awkward Pause! Awkward Pause takes 15 dge, knocking him out!

APW: NOOO! AWKWARD PAUSE!  
APJr: *cries*  
APW: You damn dirty wolf! You'll pay for this! YOU'LL PAY AWKWARDLY!  
Chip: o_o

Sonny attacks Awkward Pause's Wife for 10 dge, knocking her out! The Trix Rabbit mildly taps Awkward Pause Jr. for 5 dge, knocking him out!

Goomboshi: Oh, come on!

Buzz strikes Ten2One for 10 dge! Ten2One is knocked out!

Ten2One: You can't stop the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning! *faints*

King Boo sends his Boos after Snap, Crackle, and Pop! They take 6, 9, and 7 dge respectively! Hokempokemweh casts a Spell of Darkness for 4 SP against Admiral Razorbeard, dealing him 43 dge! Admiral Razorbeard is petrified for 1 turn! The Eyeroks clobber Buzz and the Trix Rabbit for 16 dge each! The Soldiers attack Cecil, Waluigi, and the Trix Rabbit for 5 dge each!

Remi: Haha! Now it's our turn to wreak havoc on the field!

Remi flies in the air and fires off rounds at Sonny, hitting him for 3+5+3+7+2 dge! Flan uses Crystallized Force for 3 SP! She picks up a red crystal from her wings and fire flames towards Yoshi for 17 dge! Patch recites an Elemental Spell for 3 SP! She casts an ice spell at Ghoulman for 7 dge!

_Destiny! _*protected by magical barrier*  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP (charging!)  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 78 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 87 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 82 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 72 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 65 SP

_Vengeance!  
_TRC: 346 HP, 335 SP  
Luffy: 298 HP, 100 SP  
Admiral Razorbeard (ARZD): 207 HP, 100 SP (petrified!)  
Cortez: 250 HP, 75 SP Cecil: 350 HP, 100 SP  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 143 HP, 100 SP

_Imagination_  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP  
Shrawful: 45 HP, 25 SP  
Someone: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Nowhere: 15 HP, 0 SP

_Complete Breakfast  
_Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Tony: 43 HP, 18 SP (Attack Boosted!)  
Snap: 24 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 21 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 23 HP, 25 SP  
Chip: 30 HP, 8 SP  
Sonny: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 14 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 14 HP, 35 SP

_Haunted_  
King Boo: 450 HP, 60 SP  
Boo1: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Boo2: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Boo3: 50 HP, 0 SP

_Matet_  
Hokempokemweh (HPW): 350 HP, 146 SP  
Eyerok – L: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Eyrok – R: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Undead Skeletal Soldier1: 35 HP, 0 SP  
USS2: 35 HP, 0 SP  
USS3: 35 HP, 0 SP

_Touhou _*protected by ransom hostages*  
Remi: 169 HP, 34 SP  
Flan: 217 HP, 20 SP  
Patch: 142 HP, 40 SP

Duels

_CC vs. BMS/Crystal King/MSM1_  
CC: 85 HP, 75 SP  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1481 HP, 195 SP

_Tetra vs. Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis_  
Tetra: 150 HP, 50 SP  
Toucan Sam: 35 HP, 15 SP  
Puey: 20 HP, 10 SP  
Susey: 25 HP, 10 SP  
Louis: 20 HP, 10 SP

_Ridley vs. Team Divinity_  
Ridley: 214 HP, 50 SP  
Gawd: 9001 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 454 HP, 50 SP  
Angelle1: 204 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle2: 204 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle3: 204 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)

Yoshi is charging the GFC! Waluigi brings out a tennis racket!

Waluigi: SERVICE ACE!

Waluigi smashes Cortez, dealing him CRITICAL 163 dge! Cortez falls to pieces!

Cortez: Yargh, how I hate ye now!

DK punches Cecil for 34 dge! Mario uses Fire Punch for 2 SP on Cecil! Cecil takes 16 dge and is burned! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at The Red Chao for 19 dge! Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! The Red Chao takes 21 dge! Luigi uses Luigi Tornado on Luffy! Luffy takes 9+8+9+8+7+8 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 3 SP! He summons three mini-Boos and tosses them each at Cecil, Cortez, and Jonathan Jones! Each take 29, 32, and 34 dge respectively!

The Red Chao uses Bravery Charge for 15 SP! He brings out a flag and charges wildly at Tony the Tiger, yelling a war cry! He rams into Tony, causing him and Tony 49 and 31 dge respectively! Luffy uses Gum-Gum Drill for 2 SP! He brings his arm back and twists it before throwing it forcefully at Ghoulman through the barrier! Ghoulman uses his ability, Transparency, phasing and turning himself into a spirit so as to avoid taking damage from attacks this turn! Ghoulman can't use Transparency for the next 3 turns! Admiral Razorbeard is petrified and can't move! Cortez has fallen to pieces and must recover! Cecil uses his sword to attack Shrawful for 17 dge! Jonathan Jones brings out his trident and attacks Luigi, but he's blocked by the barrier!

JOJO: Curses! Foiled again by a magical barrier!

Goomboshi sticks his tongue out and swallows The Red Chao, trapping him in an egg! Shrawful brings out a remote control and calls for a ShrawFO for 3 SP! Upon its arrival, Shrawful boards it and flies into the air! Someone does Something to Cecil for 7 dge! Nowhere envelops Nothing into itself and fires No-such-thing at Admiral Razorbeard for 8 dge!

Captain Crunch aims the Crunchitizer Cannon at King Boo's minions and fires off a round! Boo1 takes 38 dge! Tony brings out his claws and attacks Boo2 for 14 dge! Snap, Crackle, and Pop bring out their Cocoa Krispies Cereal Straws!

SCP (not the user): Just dip 'em, sip 'em, munch 'em, and WHACK 'EM TO DEATH!  
SCP (the user): HEY! This plagiarism of my name is not appreciated!  
Aroramage: What are you doing back here?  
SCP: I have returned for no particular reason!  
Aroramage: But last we saw you, you were in Whomp's Fortress. Wasn't that at the time of its collapse?  
SCP: Yeah…well, I had more important things to do than get crushed by boulders and caught in an explosion!  
Aroramage: What, like updating?  
SCP: …YOU SAW NOTHING! *draws a face looking right going "ooh" on the deck of the ship before disappearing*

Meanwhile, Snap, Crackle, and Pop whack the Boo minions for 17, 16, and 17 dge each! Boo1 is KO'd! Chip builds a propeller and attaches it to his Ridiculous Contraption for 3 SP and flies into the air! Sonny and the Trix Rabbit bring out a Trix Cereal and a Cocoa Puffs Cereal box respectively! They look and cause each other to go insane! The duo combine their insanity and spin around like a crazy tornado! They bowl into the remaining Boo minions, causing them 14 and 23 dge respectively! Boo2 is KO'd! Sonny and the Trix Rabbit are now dizzy! Buzz throws Honey at the remaining Boo minion, causing it to become extremely sticky!

King Boo revives all of his fallen minions! The Boos attack Snap, Crackle, and Pop for 7, 7, and 7 dge!

?: YOU JUST WON THE LOTTERY!

A random slot machine appears, chucking coins at King Boo and his minions!

SM: TAKE IT! TAKE IT ALL!  
KB: OH MY GRAMBI! THIS IS FANTASTIC! WE CAN TOTALLY BUY A NEW HOUSE WITH ALL OF THIS!  
SM: THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?  
KB: GOOD POINT! GHOULMAN, GOOD LUCK! WE'RE OFF TO BUY OURSELVES HAPPINESS!

King Boo and his minions leave with all the gold! Hokempokemweh is very confused, but disregards this last series of events!

HPW: It'sssssssss time, my Eyerok minionsssssss! THE ATTACK!  
Eyerok: Yes…ssssssir.

Hokempokemweh expands his hands while the Eyerok hollow out themselves! Hokempokemweh then slips them on like gloves and weaves dark magic around them all! The Soldiers are sacrificed as an offering! Hokempokemweh's bandages become more grey and sandy! Hokempokemweh becomes more grey and sandy! He has transformed into Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert!

DHPWotD: FWAHAHAHAHAHA! EVIL POWER OF MAXXXXXXX ISSSSSSS MINNNNNNNE!  
Yoshi: Oh great, his title got fancier.

Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert cannot attack after ritualistically becoming whatever the hell he is now!

Remi used Fate Twist for 5 SP! She changes events in the future so as to prevent damage!

Waluigi: Wait, how're you supposed to know if we'll attack you or not?  
Remi: Oh, believe me, you'll know!

Flan used Crystallized Force – Blue for 3 SP! She picks out a blue crystal and shoots ice beams at The Red Chao for CRITICAL 48 dge! The Red Chao is frozen and can't attack! Patchy casts a Fire Spell for 3 SP at Cecil for 17 dge!

Admiral Razorbeard is no longer petrified! Cortez has reassembled himself! Cecil takes 5 burn dge!

_Destiny!_ *protected by magical barrier*  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP (charging!)  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 78 HP, 75 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 87 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 79 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 72 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 62 SP

_Vengeance!  
_TRC: 209 HP, 320 SP (trapped in an egg!)  
Luffy: 249 HP, 98 SP  
Admiral Razorbeard (ARZD): 199 HP, 100 SP  
Cortez: 55 HP, 75 SP  
Cecil: 242 HP, 100 SP (burned!)  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 109 HP, 100 SP

_Imagination_  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP  
Someone: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Nowhere: 15 HP, 0 SP

_Complete Breakfast  
_Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Tony: 12 HP, 18 SP (Attack Boosted!)  
Snap: 17 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 14 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 16 HP, 25 SP  
Sonny: 10 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 14 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 14 HP, 35 SP

_Matet  
_Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 700, 250 SP

_Touhou_ *protected by ransom hostages*  
Remi: 169 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 217 HP, 17 SP  
Patch: 142 HP, 37 SP

Meanwhile, on deck…

The Crimson Crusader has locked blades with BM/Crystal King/MSM1! The two are moving back and forth, back and forth, struggling with keeping the other's blade at bay! Then suddenly, they break off, and CC strikes BM/Crystal King/MSM1 twice for 17 & 19 dge! But BM/Crystal King/MSM1 slashes CC for 10 dge! The two then become once more interlocked with their blades!

_CC vs. BM/Crystal King/MSM1_  
CC: 75 HP, 75 SP  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1445 HP, 195 SP

Meanwhile, in the crow's nest…

Tetra is defending herself with a couple of daggers! She is surrounded by Toucan Sam and his nephews, all brandishing swords of their own! Suddenly, a lunge comes, and the quartet are fighting each other! Blades clashing, the battle becomes intense! Then, suddenly, the ShrawFO appears and fires a laser at the crow's nest, hurting everyone inside for 24 dge! Puey and Louis are KO'd! The crow's nest is destroyed, but Toucan Sam saves his nephews from falling by scooping them while flying and perches them on a mast, and Tetra grabs a spare rope! Shrawful cackles until a lightning bolt hits the ShrawFO, causing it to fall into the ship! The ship explodes, KO'ing Shrawful! The ship's hull is damaged and the ship begins to take on water!

_Tetra vs. Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis_  
Tetra: 126 HP, 50 SP  
Toucan Sam: 11 HP, 15 SP  
Susey: 1 HP, 10 SP (DANGER!)

Meanwhile, in the sky…

Ridley tears his claws into the Angelles for 53, 62, and 57 dge each! Gawd uses Damnation for 17 SP! A lightning bolt smites Ridley for 123 dge! Some of it strays and hits a flying ship below, which crashes into the hull of the ship! Assistant Assist Gawd, recovering his stats to full! The Angelles defend!

_Ridley vs. Team Divinity_  
Ridley: 91 HP, 50 SP  
Gawd: 9001 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 454 HP, 50 SP  
Angelle1: 151 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle2: 142 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle3: 147 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)

Meanwhile, back on the ship…

Yoshi continues charging the GFC! Waluigi chucks a Bob-omb at Team Vengeance, inflicting 38 dge onto them! DK punches Someone for 17 dge! Someone is KO'd! Mario punches Nowhere for 7 dge!

Nowhere: WTF? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? YOU CAN'T HIT NOTHING! I AM NOWHERE! I AM NOTHING! I AM NOT HERE RIGHT NOW, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE NOT-BEEP! WHAT THE FU-

Nowhere explodes, KO'ing himself!

Aroramage:…*evil laughter*

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover to increase the heroes' chances of getting CRITICALS and spot-on hits! Good show!

Lucky: My Irish Senses are tingling to Britishness.

…YOU SAW NOTHING! *poof*

Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Luffy for 45 dge! Luigi uses Doppleganger for 3 SP! He clones an imperfection of himself!

Yoshi: What?  
Mario: Oh no.  
TRC: Oh my Gawd.  
Gawd: I AM NOT YOUR GOD!

The clone becomes Weegee! Weegee attacks Cecil, strangling him continuously for 17+18+17+16+15+14+11 dge! Weegee is thrown off and destroyed!

Mario: When the hell did you learn that?  
Luigi: Believe me, if you've got nothing better to do in a prison, you perfect your skills. *flashlight under the face* Terrifying, mind-numbingly horrifying skills!  
Yoshi:…  
Aroramage: Well, don't blame me!  
Yoshi: I BLAME YOU!

Ghoulman sneaks behind Admiral Razorbeard and startles him for 17 dge!

The Red Chao is trapped inside the egg! Luffy punches the heroes but his attack is deflected by the barrier! Admiral Razorbeard uses Chainsaw Massacre for 3 SP! He whirls up an engine and attaches the motor to his beard! The beard begins to spin around like a saw blade! Admiral Razorbeard attacks Goomboshi!

Goomboshi: WHAT? BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT!

Goomboshi flees with Admiral Razorbeard chasing after him! Cortez strikes at Mario for 7+3+4+2+6 dge! Cecil uses Cure for 2 SP, removing his burn status! Jonathan Jones strikes with his trident at Captain Crunch, who defends himself with his cannon! The cannon is destroyed!

Captain Crunch draws out a Crunch Sword and strikes at Jonathan Jones for 18 dge! Tony tears at Luffy for 26 dge! Snap, Crackle, and Pop summon the Giant Rice Krispie for 5 SP each! It lands on Team Vengeance for 15 dge to them all! Sonny attacks the Rice Krispie Treat and eats 1/4th of it to restore his HP! The Trix Rabbit eats 1/4th of the Giant Rice Krispie Treat to restore his HP! Buzz covers his 1/4th of the treat with honey and then eats it, restoring his HP!

Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert uses Darkness Sandstorm for 15 SP! He begins an ancient chant which will bring a sandstorm upon the battlefield in 2 turns!

Remi fires at Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert, but her bullets are deflected!

Remi: What? Why aren't my bullets working?  
Flan: Don't worry, we'll take care of this!

Flan uses Crystallized Force – Yellow for 3 SP! She grabs a yellow crystal and shoots lightning at Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert! But Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert –

BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Geez, that's a long name.  
Aroramage: Shouldn't you be fighting someone?  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1:…um…YARGH!  
Aroramage:...

-is unaffected by the lightning!

Flan: What the heck?  
Patch: Let's try this!

Patch casts a Fire Spell for 3 SP! She sends fire at Dark Hokempokmweh of the Desert! But Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert is unaffected by the fire!

Patch:…yeah, I got nothing.

The magical barrier protecting the heroes disappears!

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP (charging!)  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 75 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 84 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 75 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 69 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 62 SP

_Vengeance!  
_TRC: 171 HP, 320 SP (trapped in an egg!)  
Luffy: 140 HP, 98 SP  
Cortez: 17 HP, 75 SP  
Cecil: 96 HP, 98 SP  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 53 HP, 100 SP

_Complete Breakfast  
_Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Tony: 12 HP, 18 SP (Attack Boosted!)  
Snap: 17 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 14 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 16 HP, 25 SP  
Sonny: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 30 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 30 HP, 35 SP

_Matet_  
Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 700, 250 SP (chanting!)

_Touhou_ *protected by ransom hostages*  
Remi: 169 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 217 HP, 14 SP  
Patch: 142 HP, 34 SP

Meanwhile, back on deck…

The Crimson Crusader and BM/Crystal King/MSM1 are locked once again in combat!

CC: We were always locked in combat!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, and it be epic!  
Aroramage: WILL YOU JUST LET ME DO THE NARRATION?

The Crimson Crusader lashes out once more at BM/Crystal King/MSM1 and attacks rapidly for 7+6+7+8+5+7+3+9+1+1+4+2 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 slashes at The Crimson Crusader for 17 dge! The two then become interlocked once more!

CC: Can you please stop doing that?  
Aroramage: NO!  
CC: -_-

_CC vs. BM/Crystal King/MSM1_  
CC: 58 HP, 75 SP  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1385 HP, 195 SP

Meanwhile, on the masts…

Tetra has managed to climb onto the mast she's on, only to find Toucan Sam and Susey have managed to find their way to her! She takes up her turn recovering, but manages to swipe Susey as he attacks, KO'ing him! Toucan Sam brings out some Froot Loops and eats them, recoveing 15 HP!

_Tetra vs. Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis_  
Tetra: 126 HP, 50 SP  
Toucan Sam: 26 HP, 15 SP

Meanwhile, back in the sky…

Ridley uses Fearsome Screeching Missile for 15 SP! He screeches loudly, lowering the Def of the Angelles before spinning about like a drill and hitting all of them for 98, 97, and 99 dge respectively! Gawd uses Damnation for 17 SP! He smites Ridley once more, defeating him! Ridley goes plummeting into the ocean! Assistant Assists Gawd, restoring his stats to full!

_Ridley vs. Team Divinity_  
Ridley: 0 HP, 50 SP  
Gawd: 9001 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 454 HP, 50 SP  
Angelle1: 53 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle2: 45 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle3: 48 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)

Team Divinity returns to the Grand Battle!

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP (charging!)  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 75 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 75 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 84 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 75 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 69 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 62 SP

_Vengeance!  
_TRC: 171 HP, 320 SP (trapped in an egg!)  
Luffy: 140 HP, 98 SP  
Cortez: 17 HP, 75 SP  
Cecil: 96 HP, 98 SP  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 53 HP, 100 SP

_Divinity_  
Gawd: 9001 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 454 HP, 50 SP  
Angelle1: 53 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle2: 45 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)  
Angelle3: 48 HP, 25 SP (defending Gawd! Lowered Def)

_Complete Breakfast  
_Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Tony: 12 HP, 18 SP (Attack Boosted!)  
Snap: 17 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 14 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 16 HP, 25 SP  
Sonny: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 30 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 30 HP, 35 SP

_Matet_  
Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 700, 250 SP (chanting!)

_Touhou_ *protected by ransom hostages*  
Remi: 169 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 217 HP, 14 SP  
Patch: 142 HP, 34 SP

Yoshi uses the GFC and throws a massive fireball at Gawd! The Angelles defend! A massive explosion inflicts 128, 132, and 130 dge on the Angelles, KO'ing them! The excessive damage is inflicted on both Assistant and Gawd! Waluigi uses Punctuation Bomber for 7 SP!

Total number of "!": 17

Waluigi throws 17 Bob-ombs at Team Divinity! Team Divinity takes MASSIVE DAMAGE! Gawd takes 193 dge! Assistant takes 272 dge! Assistant is severely burned!

Assistant: Oh, Gawd, the pain!  
Gawd: QUIT WHINING AND SUCK IT UP! AND QUIT USING MY NAME IN VAIN, YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE THAT!

DK punches Luffy for 17 dge! Mario uses Fire Punch for 2 SP! He attacks Cortez for 13 dge!

Cortez: Nooooooooooooooooooooo-oh, wait, I'm not dead yet!

Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Cortez for 4 dge!

Cortez:...as I was saying, NOOOOOOO-*blows up*  
Other Team Members: o_o? *WTF?*

Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates The Red Chao for 17 dge! The egg TRC is trapped in becomes extremely hot!

TRC: O_O HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT!

The Red Chao bursts out from the egg!

TRC: Holy crap, that was PAINFUL!  
Karma: Eh, I work like that.

Karma joins Team Imagination!

Yoshi: WTF?  
Karma: Yep, I heard there were problems, so I came to solve them all! At the same time!  
Yoshi: Can you defeat these guys, retrieve the Power Stars, defeat Bowser, and finish off the mysterious-guy-whose-identity-we-still-don't-know?  
Remi: Can you finish off these losers, give us all the treasure in the world, make us supreme vampire overlords, and give us the adventure of a lifetime?  
Gawd: CAN YOU WIPE OUT THOSE WHO STAND AGAINST ME, DO WHAT I DO FOR ME, DESTROY THE TYRANNIES OF EVIL AND INJUSTICE SO I DON'T HAVE TO, AND ULTIMATELY CREATE THE UTOPIA OF THE AGES?  
Waluigi: Can you make it so I battle Cheese?  
Everyone else: HEY!  
Waluigi: But I REALLY want to fight Cheese!  
Karma: Cheese the Chao or _Cheese_?  
Waluigi: _Cheese_ please!  
Karma: Now, THAT, I can do!  
Waluigi: Woo-hoo!  
Karma: When my turn comes!  
Waluigi: *turns to everyone else* FINISH YOUR TURNS NOW!

Luigi uses Flame Tornado for 3 SP! He attacks Luffy for 18 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 3 SP! He summons 3 Pink Boos and then chews them up and spits them at The Red Chao, Luffy, and Assistant! Each take 23, 24, and 27 dge respectively!

The Red Chao uses Chao-parade for 9 SP! He summons up other Chaos and prepares to march upon the ship!

Luffy: Holy cow, these guys look so edible!  
JOJO: Yes...*licks lips*...they do!  
Cecil: Um, Chao, I don't mean to notice or anything, but seeing as this may be my only line, I should say this isn't the best place to host a parade.  
TRC: SILENCE! I AM THE RED CHAO, AND I WILL NO LONGER BE MADE A MOCKERY BY OTHER PEOPLE! I WILL MARCH WHEREVER I WANT TO, AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP ME!  
Cecil: Somehow, I knew you'd say that.

The Chaos bring out various instruments, and suddenly the Chaos assemble and begin to play! TRC takes the role of Lead Singer! The piano begins to play! All fighting has stopped! The random crowd cheers on! (Sweet Victory from Spongebob)

TRC: (singing)The winner takes all.  
It's the thrill of one more kill,  
the Last one to fall...  
Will never sacrifice their will!

(random smoke pillars explode)

Don't ever look back  
On the world closing in!  
Be on the attack  
With your wings on the wind  
Oh the games will begin!  
And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah!  
And it's ours for the taking!  
It's ours for the fight!  
And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah!  
And the one who's last to fall...  
The winner takes all!

The combatants have begun to sway back and forth, rocking the ship a bit! Some Chaos fall overboard, but no one seems to really notice. There's simply amazement for what insanity is going on right now.

Yoshi: I didn't know he could sing.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: I didn't know he was in charge of a bunch of Chaos...*sniff* Yargh, me matey!  
Gawd: I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD FEEL LIKE NOT DAMNING SOMEONE FOR ONCE!  
Goomboshi: *runs through* I can't believe I have a new partner!  
ARZD: *runs through* I can't believe I have any lines at all!  
TRC: I can't believe I just did that!  
Aroramage: I can't believe he just did that!

The fighting is replaced with sheer cheerfulness and happiness and a feeling of euphora! Except for Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert continuing to chant! For the rest of the turn, no one attacks!

Yoshi: Wait, why isn't there fighting for this part? We're still fighting, right?  
Aroramage: Oh, you know me, I'm a sucker for theatrics.  
Yoshi: What do you...no...you did NOT bring the robot pirates back, did you?  
Aroramage: No, that's a one-time thing. Besides, everything's about to happen anyway.  
Yoshi: What do you mean?  
Aroramage: Oh, you'll see...

_Destiny!  
_Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 73 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 84 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 71 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 66 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 59 SP

_Vengeance!_  
TRC: 131 HP, 311 SP  
Luffy: 81 HP, 98 SP  
Cecil: 96 HP, 98 SP  
Jonathan Jones (JOJO): 53 HP, 100 SP

_Divinity  
_Gawd: 8686 HP, 9001 SP  
Assistant: 37 HP, 50 SP

_Imagination_  
Karma: 50 HP, 50 SP

_Complete Breakfast  
_Capt. Crunch: 50 HP, 35 SP  
Tony: 12 HP, 18 SP (Attack Boosted!)  
Snap: 17 HP, 25 SP  
Crackle: 14 HP, 25 SP  
Pop: 16 HP, 25 SP  
Sonny: 30 HP, 15 SP  
Trix Rabbit: 30 HP, 10 SP  
Buzz: 30 HP, 35 SP

_Matet  
_Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 700, 250 SP (chanting!)

Touhou *protected by ransom hostages*  
Remi: 169 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 217 HP, 14 SP  
Patch: 142 HP, 34 SP

Duels Occuring

_CC vs. BM/Crystal King/MSM1_  
CC: 58 HP, 75 SP  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1385 HP, 195 SP

_Tetra vs. Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis_  
Tetra: 126 HP, 50 SP  
Toucan Sam: 26 HP, 15 SP

_ARZD vs. Goomboshi (well, more of a chase, but still)_  
Admiral Razorbeard (ARZD): 199 HP, 100 SP  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP

And now, the best turn ever in the history of our epic tale, a story spanning the history of going on eleven chapters and to keep going on and on until we finish this silly and yet purposeful adventuring we collectively know as:

SUPER MARIO 64 DS CARA!

...yaaaaaaaay!

For it is during this turn, that in comes one of the seas most terrifying, most gruesome, most awe-inspiring, most cinematic, most...well, epic - of the world's aquatic-based weather conditions that only can happen in the ocean: the MAELSTROM!

Yoshi: The...what?  
Aroramage: Yeah, Chao got that too.  
Yoshi: Gawddammit.  
Gawd: I HAVE DONE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!

The maelstrom consumes the ships! Fortunately, the sheer size of this particular maelstrom allows for plenty of time to escape before everyone is crushed beneath the fearsome waves and tidal currents produced by this element of nature's arsenal!

Yoshi: You really ARE a sucker for theatrics, aren't you?  
Aroramage: Oh yeah, TV and movies and theater will do that to ya. If I had to guesstimate (and of course, I do), I'd say you should be prepared for submergence in about 5 or 6 turns. Unless it somehow gets worse.  
Yoshi: And what's with the rain?  
Aroramage: Rain?

Sure enough, it's raining. What, did I steal this from out of Pirates 3 or something? Well, maybe, but we're all stuck on the same boat, right? Anyway, I guess it's time to battle!

Yoshi uses-

Yoshi: No I don't! I'm getting us the hell out of this thing!

Yoshi charges up to the helm! Conveniently (sort of), The Crimson Crusader and BM/Crystal King/MSM1 happen to already be there, fighting...well, dueling, in front of the wheel!

Yoshi: Guys! Don't you see the giant whirlpool we're getting sucked into!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, we still be in the midst of the battle!  
CC: Well, yes, but we are about to take a nosedive into Davy Jones' Locker.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Tis true, but I dare say that the captain will go down with his ship!  
Yoshi: But this isn't even your ship!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Well, mine's already near the center of the maelstrom there.

Sure enough, the _Vengeance_ has traversed to the center of the maelstrom! In fact, at this particular moment, it is being crushed beneath the intense pressure of the maelstrom!

Yoshi: O_O Holy shit!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, so ya see, I need this ship, and I will escape on it!  
CC: But you're not taking the Power Stars with you!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, and that is why we fight here at the helm!

Yoshi, giving up on the duo, simply stands where he is! Meanwhile, in the main fight, Waluigi whacks Luffy with his tennis racket for 39 dge! DK punches Assistant for 17 dge! Mario and Luigi team up and use Special Attack Snack Basket for 7 SP each! Luigi chows down on many foods and fattens up to enormous proportions and is thrown into the air by Mario (barely) before crashing down on the ship! The ship is able to hold its own, and the reverberating shockwave hits everyone except the heroes, Gawd & Assistant, Sonny, Buzz, Remi, Flan, and patch for 41 dge! Tony, Snap, Crackle, Pop, and the Trix Rabbit are all KO'd!

Tony: I still think we did grrrrr-  
Trix Rabbit: Ahhh, shut up!

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He brings out the 4-Leaf Clover and increases the team's luck!

Lucky: I think we're gonna need it!

Gary uses the Magical Book of Spells to learn a new spell! He learns Aqua Dragon! Gary used Aqua Dragon for 7 SP! From the depths of the maelstrom comes an enormous water dragon which sprays a powerful hose of water at the ship! The heroes take no damage, while everyone else except Karma takes 72 dge! Luffy, Cecil, Jonathan Jones, Assistant, Captain Crunch, Sonny, and Buzz are KO'd!

Mario: Wow, we're taking these guys down in droves!

Ghoulman sneaks up behind The Red Chao and scares him for 12 dge!

The Red Chao uses Triple Mushrooms for 3 SP! He recovers 180 HP!

Gawd is dismayed over the loss of his Assistant!

Gawd: *bent over his Assistant* Oh...it's on...*turns to everyone else* IT'S SO MOTHERF***ING ON!

Gawd unleashed his Wrath for 39 SP! The maelstrom increases greatly in size! The storms begins to pour harder! Lightning strikes a figure on the mast who falls into the water! The winds howl uncontrollably!

Gawd: NO ONE ESCAPES THIS SHIP!

Karma uses Synchronize for 5 SP! His HP returns to become the same as his SP!

Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert finishes his incantation!

DHPWotD: Feel the wrath of my ancesssssstorsssss! DARKNESSSSSS SSSSANDSSSSSTORM!

Suddenly, the battlefield is laid over by a huge sandstorm, which is only intensified by Gawd's Wrath! Everyone is covered with sand and water! Remi, Flan, and Patch retreat below decks!

Remi: Oh man, we are WAY over our heads!  
Patch: Gee, you think?  
Flan: We need to do something! We can't just sit here and wait for it to blow over!  
Remi: I know, I know! I just don't know what to do right now! The whole thing's become a mess!  
Goomboshi: *runs through* The whole ships gone to Hell! Or at least going that way from the way things are going!  
ARZD: *runs through* Will you just let me catch up to you, for Gawd's sake?

At this utterance, a stray lightning bolt smites Admiral Razorbeard! Admiral Razorbeard is KO'd!

Goomboshi:...hehe, what timing, eh?

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 66 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 81 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 64 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 59 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 59 SP

_Vengeance!_  
TRC: 186 HP, 311 SP

_Divinity_  
Gawd: 8614 HP, 8962 SP (seriously PO'd)

_Imagination_  
Karma: 45 HP, 45 SP

_Matet  
_Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 587, 250 SP

_Touhou_ *beneath decks*  
Remi: 97 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 145 HP, 14 SP  
Patch: 70 HP, 34 SP

Meanwhile, at the helm...

CC and BM/Crystal King/MSM1 are still tightly locked in combat.

CC: Listen, BM, I've been thinking about what Yoshi said.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, it be of no concern right now!  
CC: But there may not be time to sort it out later! We may all be dead!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1:...what are ye saying?  
CC: I think we should call a truce between you and I and steer the helm!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Are ye sure?  
CC: Just promise me we can have the Power Stars if you obtain them!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Why should I? I was the original owner of 7 of them, and you took them away!  
CC: Listen, I understand they must be important to you and people like you, like Chao, like the Author even, but right now we need them! We can't do what we came to do without them!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Why should I listen to you?  
CC: Because we may not have the chance to otherwise!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1 listens to this and finally, after several moments of silence and with the sudden pickup of the wind and rain, puts his sword back in its sheath after removing the fire. CC sheathes his own sword.

CC: Truce? *extends paw*  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Truce. *grabs and shakes paw*

_CC vs. BM/Crystal King/MSM1 (detained)_  
CC: 58 HP, 75 SP  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1385 HP, 195 SP

Meanwhile, upon the mast...

Tetra and Toucan Sam are fighting each other! Both have been severely weakened since last round, each down to their last few HP.

_Tetra vs. Toucan Sam, Puey, Susey, and Louis_  
Tetra: 23 HP, 50 SP  
Toucan Sam: 2 HP, 15 SP

Tetra raises her knife and sticks it into the mast as the ship gives an enormous quake! She loses her footing and nearly falls, but Toucan Sam reaches out and grabs her, pulling her to safety!

Tetra: What? But why would you do that?  
Toucan Sam: Believe me, there are worse things that could happen to us right now! Besides, I'd rather you didn't fall mid-battle.  
Tetra: *smiles* Still got some fight in ya?  
Toucan Sam: Maybe just enough for this!

Toucan Sam raises his arm into the air, sword in hand, when suddenly a lightning bolt strikes it and electrocutes him! Shocked, Tetra can do nothing but watch as Toucan Sam plummets into the sea below! She turns away from it, tears withheld in her eyes, and returns to the main battle.

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 66 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 81 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 64 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 59 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 59 SP

_Vengeance!_  
TRC: 186 HP, 311 SP  
Tetra: 23 HP, 50 SP

_Divinity  
_Gawd: 8614 HP, 8962 SP (seriously PO'd)

_Imagination  
_Karma: 45 HP, 45 SP  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP (below decks)

_Matet_  
Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 587, 250 SP

_Touhou_ *beneath decks*  
Remi: 97 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 145 HP, 14 SP  
Patch: 70 HP, 34 SP

You know, I think I forgot something...you know, I heard that ten to one, there was gonna be a meteor strike soon. (oh man, Saw theme's running through my head, how bout you guys? Play something suspenseful!)

Yoshi: WHAT?

Oh, there it is now! A meteor is falling from the sky!

Yoshi: Shit, what do we do?  
Waluigi: Oh man, we're screwed!

At the helm-

CC: A meteor! We have to avoid it before it crashes into us!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: I've got this, matey!

BM/Crystal King/MSM1 begins to turn the boat away from the maelstrom's center and aligns it so that the meteor won't hit! But there's a problem...it's not a meteor headed this way.

Yoshi: What?  
Waluigi: You can't be serious!  
Mario: Then what is it?  
Luigi: Shroobs?  
TRC: More users?

No, I imagine this is much, much worse. As the flaming projectile approaches, there does appear to be a meteor-like quality to it, yet there also seems to be something terrifyingly familiar about the projectile too.

Waluigi: Oh Grambi, not Sozin's Comet, is it?  
Lucky: That's a COMET, not a METEOR!  
Waluigi: Oh...right...

The meteor swiftly approaches and then-it lands on the ship! The meteor is revealed to be burning metal, and the metal sphere has begun to spread out its legs and open up in a cocoon and spidery fashion. The outer plating begins to form into a sort of armor around a solitary shadowy figure within the metallic shelling.

?: Hello, heroes. I've finally caught up with you.  
Yoshi: That voice!  
CC: No...  
Waluigi: Oh no...  
Mario: It can't be...  
DK: Not him again!  
Gary: *shudders in place*  
Ghoulman: WHAT? WHO. IS. THIS?  
Luigi: My dark twin...Mr. L.

Sure enough, Mr. L is the shadowy figure within the cocoon, and the cocoon-

Mr. L: Meet the ultimate bond of brothers: Brobot L-Force.

Then Mr. L is surrounded by his new Brobot, an armor who then extends several metal arms from his back, and the duo resume a fighting stance as Mr. L has Brobot bring out a long metal rapier.

Yoshi: Things just got a hell of a lot worse.

And so Mr. L and Brobot L-Force have just arrived on the scene, ready for battle.

Yoshi: So what're you doing here?  
Mr. L: Ha! Like you don't already know! After you destroyed my dear Brobot back in Big Boo's Haunt, I've spent the time since rebuilding and reconstructing him to true perfection. Here in this form, I have combined Brobot's technological prowess with my own devious abilities and together we will eliminate you heroes!  
Yoshi: So, you're here for revenge?  
Mr. L: And, naturally, the Power Stars!  
Yoshi: Wait...the what-now?  
Mr. L: What do you mean, "the what-now"? The Power Stars!  
Yoshi:...come again?  
Mr. L: I thought you were all here looking amidst these oceans for the Power Stars!  
Yoshi:...wait, was that why we're in this mess?  
Waluigi: I'm pretty sure it was more like we ran into people and they ran into us and then BOOM - PWISH - PATOOEY - BLAMO - BOOM! We're in this mess.  
Lucky: I just want our stuff back.  
Mr. L: Have you honestly forgotten the whole reason for your wandering about from place to place? Have you misplaced your purpose?  
Yoshi: Well, when you put it that way, you make it sound so-  
CC: Fellows, I don't mean to interrupt this polite and cordial reunion, but WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF A SITUATION!  
Mr. L: Oh yes, there does seem to be imminent destruction within this unnatural contradictory phenomenon. So please, as they say - *brandishes rapier* less talkie, more slicey!  
?: Did somebody say, "Sli" -*kicked*  
Aroramage: NO!

Only 2 turns until everybody drowns in the maelstrom!

_Destiny!_  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Waluigi: 71 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 66 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 81 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 64 SP  
Luigi: 95 HP, 59 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 59 SP

_Vengeance!_  
TRC: 186 HP, 311 SP  
Tetra: 23 HP, 50 SP

_Divinity_  
Gawd: 8614 HP, 8962 SP (seriously PO'd!)

_Imagination_  
Karma: 45 HP, 45 SP  
Goomboshi: 50 HP, 25 SP (below decks)

_Matet_  
Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 587 HP, 250 SP

_Touhou_ *beneath decks*  
Remi: 97 HP, 29 SP  
Flan: 145 HP, 14 SP  
Patch: 70 HP, 34 SP

_Brotherhood of Evil!_ (DC's gonna be suing somebody)  
Mr. L: 250 HP, 75 SP (protected by L-Force)  
BL-F: 3000 HP, 1500 SP

Mr. L: Fwahahahahahaha! None of you stand the slightest chance against me and my power! The moment has arrived in which I shall claim the power that belongs to us! The end is nigh! There's no turning back! You cannot pass go! You cannot collect-  
Yoshi: We're fighting you right now, you fruitcake!  
Mr. L: ...well, there's no need for that, is there?

Yoshi throws an egg at Brobot L-Force! Brobot takes 5 dge!

BL-F: *beep-whirrr* THREAT DETECTED! AGGRESSIVE MANEUVERS DETECTED! COUNTERSTRIKE PROGRAM ENGAGED!

Brobot L-Force smacks Yoshi with one of its legs for 5 dge!

Yoshi: Ow! What the-  
Mr. L: Hahahahahahaha! You thought you could just fight me as you did in the past? What, like there wouldn't be something new? This is Brobot L-Force, emphasis on Force! You can't stop it no matter how hard you try!  
Waluigi: I've got this!

Waluigi charges at Brobot L-Force and smacks it with his tennis racket for 28 dge!

BL-F: *beep-whirrr* NEW THREAT DETECTED! COUNTERATTACK!

Brobot L-Force smacks Waluigi with one of its legs for 28 dge! Waluigi flies back and crashes into a door!

Waluigi: *recovering from the scraps* Okay, bad idea...  
Mr. L: You know, there's a word I'm thinking of that describes your actions. Can you guess it? No? Try "futile". Then say it boldly and dramatically, kinda like, "FUTILE!" Fwahahahahahahahaha!  
Yoshi: Will you just shut up?

DK punches Karma for 17 dge! Mario throws a Fire Punch for 2 SP at Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert! DHPWotD takes 27 dge! Lucky uses Magic Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Magic Mirror Charm and summons up a barrier that protects the heroes! Gary controls the Aqua Dragon to spray a hose of water at DHPWotD and Brobot L-Force! DHPWotD takes 54 dge! Brobot L-Force takes no dge from the water! Brobot L-Force counterattacks the Aqua Dragon with an electric shock! The Aqua Dragon falls apart!

Gary: Ah, come on!

Luigi Kamikazes into Tetra for 1 SP! Tetra takes 27 dge! Luigi takes 8 dge! Tetra is KO'd! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 3 SP! He summons three pink boos, chews them up, and spits them out at The Red Chao, Gawd, and DHPWotD! Chao takes 26 dge! Gawd takes 18 dge! DHPWotD takes 38 dge!

The Red Chao bolsters his courage and boosts his attack for 11 SP! He charges at DHPWotD and rams into him for 178 dge! The Red Chao takes 15 dge!

Gawd is infuriated! He opens a portal for 54 SP! Gawd just unleashed Hell! Demons and shades and fiends and ghosts and ghouls and all sorts of nasty things flood the battlefield and trample over everyone except the heroes and anyone below deck! Everyone affected takes 215 dge! Karma is defeated!

Karma: Until we meet again!

Karma's ability activates! The damage he took when he was defeated is inflicted on Gawd! Gawd takes 215 dge! Brobot L-Force counterattacks! It releases a wave of energy at Gawd, inflicting 550 dge to him!

Gawd: WHAT IN ALL OF THE OVERTHERE AND UNDERWHERE IS ALL OF THIS?  
Mr. L: Hahahahahahaha! I delight in your feeble attempts to penetrate my defenses! Nevertheless, I remain intact! And Brobot is still standing! Your power means nothing to me! It means nothing to us! It has no meaning! It means nothing, it IS nothing, YOU are nothing before me, I am-  
Gawd: SCREW YOU MAN, JUST THE SHUT THE F*** UP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  
Mr. L: ...you're going to regret that.

Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert is suffering!

DHPWotD: No! Thissssssssssssssss cannot be! I have the ultimate power in the world, and yet it issssssssss now nothing? No! I sssssssssshall desssssssstroy that monssssssstrosssssity immediately! Then and only then will I have the power to eliminate everyone on thesssssssse sssssssssshipsssssssss!

Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert absorbs some sand to recover 250 HP! He then blasts a Sandwhirl at Brobot L-Force for 7 SP! Brobot L-Force sucks up the attack!

DHPWotD: What in the world?

Brobot L-Force intensely burns the attack! Brobot L-Force counters with a Shardswirl! The glass hits Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert for 275 dge!

Mr. L: Now I'll show you what Brobot can REALLY do!

Brobot L-Force latches onto Gawd! Brobot L-Force pricks Gawd's body with a needle and begins to suck away at Gawd's energy! Gawd loses 496 HP! Brobot regains half the HP sucked away and fully recovers!

Gawd: YOU DARE TO SUCK AWAY AT THE LIFE FORCE OF THE ALMIGHTY GAAaaaAAaaaWD?  
Mr. L: Oh, I dare! How I dare!

_Destiny!_ *protected by magical barrier*  
Yoshi: 68 HP, 80 SP  
Waluigi: 43 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 64 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 81 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 64 SP  
Luigi: 87 HP, 58 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 56 SP

_Vengeance!_  
TRC: 145 HP, 300 SP

_Divinity_  
Gawd: 7335 HP, 8908 SP (really, really, angry!)

_Matet_  
Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 50 HP, 243 SP

_Brotherhood of Evil!_  
Mr. L: 250 HP, 75 SP (protected by L-Force)  
BL-F: 3000 HP, 1500 SP

Meanwhile, at the helm...

CC:...  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1:...  
CC: So...wanna join the fight down there?  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: And completely abandon all control - and possibly hope - of steering this ship out of this atrocious stormy weather which will surely cause us our untimely demise in a matter of about one turn?  
CC:...  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1:...yeah, alright.

CC and BM/Crystal King/MSM1 join the fight! The sandstorm is strong! The maelstrom is strong!

Meanwhile, below deck...

Remi: Geez, it sounds like something big's happening up there!  
Flan: I'll say!  
Patch: I heard something relative to a meteoric impact a few minutes ago, as well as maniacal laughter and unimaginable amounts of dark energy, as if a great evil has come.  
Goomboshi: Oh, great! That's just what we need! More terrifying things of evil.

Suddenly, a burst of light appears within the room!

?: There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!

The Perfect and Elegant Maid, Sakuya, appears in the deck of the ship!

Sakuya: Are you three aware of where you are? There's a terrible contradiction of storms occurring just above us with a nasty sort of brutality and fearsome combat that is going to destroy this entire ship! And you three are very, very, very, very, VERY late for teatime!  
Remi: But Sakuya, we're just trying to get some treasures for the collection, and besides, we wanted to come out!  
Flan: I got recruited for piracy! ;)  
Sakuya: Piracy? PIRACY? What in the world do you think you are doing practicing piracy?  
Patch: Eh, I joined cause I was bored.  
Sakuya: *checks Lunar Dial* Listen, I don't have time for your usual antics, and I'm certainly not sticking around here! Now grab whatever you want - AND I MEAN ONLY ONE THING EACH - and we'll be on our way!  
Goomboshi: Why, hello there, beautiful. Care to join me for some dinner? I can easily make any egg-based meal right now.  
Sakuya: *tenses up* What the hell is that thing?  
Remi: Oh, this is a Goomboshi. He's been hiding with us here while all the stuff up there is going on.

Goomboshi suddenly jumps up into Sakuya's arms and cuddles up next to her chest. (ewwwwwww!)

Goomboshi: Hm...well, that's disappointing. I thought these were bigger.  
Sakuya: *flushes red*

Sakuya knives Goomboshi, killing him easily!

Goomboshi: Yeah...yeah...I deserved that...*dies*  
Sakuya: Alright, that's it! Enough of this! We're leaving right now!

The Touhou Trio each grab a treasure chest quickly before Sakuya stops time and drags them off the ship and back to the mansion, so far away...

Meanwhile, back on deck...

_Destiny!_ *protected by magical barrier*  
Yoshi: 68 HP, 80 SP  
CC: 58 HP, 75 SP  
Waluigi: 43 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 64 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 81 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 64 SP  
Luigi: 87 HP, 58 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 56 SP

_Vengeance!_  
TRC: 145 HP, 300 SP  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: 1385 HP, 195 SP

_Divinity_  
Gawd: 7335 HP, 8908 SP (filled with wrath!)

_Matet_  
Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert (DHPWotD): 50 HP, 243 SP

_Brotherhood of Evil!_  
Mr. L: 250 HP, 75 SP (protected by L-Force)  
BL-F: 3000 HP, 1500 SP

Yoshi surrounds himself in an eggshell for 2 SP!

Waluigi: Wait...YOSHI'S GOING TO USE SP FOR AN ATTACK?  
Yoshi: Oh, shut up!

Yoshi uses Egg Roll!

Waluigi: Mmm...eggroll...

Yoshi charges at Brobot L-Force! Brobot L-Force counters by knocking the egg off course! Yoshi runs into a wall! CC stares at Brobot L-Force!

CC: I can't believe that fiend has returned with this maniacal invention!  
Mr. L: Why, thank you! That's the most complimentary thing anyone has said about me and Brobot since we got here!  
CC: It wasn't a compliment.  
Mr. L: I know.  
CC:...

CC slashes at Brobot L-Force! Mr. L counters by controlling Brobot L-Force to defend with its rapier!

Mr. L: You'll find I've been very influential in my brother's latest techniques!

Brobot L-Force counters CC's attack! Waluigi sneaks a Bob-omb under Brobot L-Force!

Mr. L: Say what?

The Bob-omb explodes! Brobot L-Force takes 45 dge!

Mr. L: *a smoke cloud obscures him for a moment, then dissipates* ...okay, I'm going to remember that.

DK punches Brobot L-Force! Brobot L-Force takes 15 dge! Brobot L-Force counterattacks, hitting DK with one of its legs for 15 dge!

Mario: Bro.  
Luigi: Oh yeah.  
M&L: Go time!

Mario and Luigi use Mighty Meteor for 8 SP each! They bring out hammers as a meteor is sent into the sky above Brobot L-Force! Mario whacks the meteor at Brobot L-Force for 48 dge! Luigi whacks the meteor at Brobot L-Force for 46 dge! Luigi whacks the meteor at Brobot L-Force for 47 dge! Mario whacks the meteor at Brobot L-Force for 51 dge! Mario whacks the meteor at Brobot L-Force for 49 dge!

Mr. L: Augh! That's another thing I'm going to remember!

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Hidden Key charm! Suddenly, his marshmallows gain swirls! Lucky unlocks the ability to Teleport! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Brobot L-Force for 18 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 3 SP! He summons three Pink Boos and throws them at Brobot L-Force for 7, 8, and 7 dge!

The Red Chao looks at BM/Crystal King/MSM1!

TRC: Dude! You came back just in time!  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, I recommend attacking the evil alien freak over therrrre for now!  
Mr. L: Alright, surely we don't need to be THAT rude.  
TRC: You got it!

The Red Chao summons up his inner strength! The Red Chao brings his hands together and charges a red orb of energy for 15 SP!

TRC: Take this!

The Red Chao blasts out Red Chao-La-Wave! Brobot L-Force takes the full impact and 215 dge! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 uses Fusion for 5 SP! He fuses with The Red Chao!

TRC: Whoa, man, I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with the idea. I mean, sure, I'd like to be stronger, but then aga-aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

The Red Chao is sucked into the Fusion! BM/Crystal King/MSM1 and The Red Chao Combine to form BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed!

Aroramage: Geez, even when they're fused, it's still a really long name.  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: Don't mock our name!

Gawd becomes infuriated with this!

Gawd: OH FOR THE LOVE OF ME, THIS IS RIDICULOUS! FIRST YOU MAKE ME ANGRY! THEN YOU KILL MY ASSISTANT! AND NOW YOU'RE DEFYING THE NATURAL LAWS OF NATURE IN ORDER TO BECOME STRONGER? SERIOUSLY, WHAT IN MY GREEN EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?  
Aroramage: Pretty much whatever they want?  
Gawd: AND AS FOR _YOU_, I'M GOING TO BE HAVING A LONG CHAT WITH YOU ABOUT USING ME IN YOUR STORY!  
Aroramage: But...but...I created you!  
Gawd: DON'T GET ME STARTED! *turns to Mr. L* AND AS FOR _YOU_, I'M GONNA PULVERIZE YOU INTO THE OBLIVION NETHER-REGIONS OF HELL, THE NETHERWORLD, THE UNDERWHERE, OR WHEREVER SOMEONE AS VILE AS YOU WILL GO!  
Mr. L: Well, I'm flattered!

Gawd charges all of his remaining SP into his fist!

Gawd: YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET BITCH-SLAPPED BY NONE OTHER THAN-

We interrupt this story to bring a special news bulletin!

Anchorman: Hello, I'm Kent Gettanipryvacy!  
Anchorwoman: And I'm Alliwey Enurfacé!  
Kent: Tonight's story is breaking news! A giant maelstrom has been seen in the middle of the ocean!  
Ally: What ocean is that, Kent?  
Kent: No idea! And no worries! It happens to be far, far away from our location!  
Ally: Hooray for long-distance weather shout-outs!  
Kent: In other news, it seems a sandstorm has also popped up in the area as well!  
Ally: Is that even possible?  
Kent: Not unless you're some kind of magician!  
Ally: Haha, oh Kent!  
Kent: In other other news, the infamous Touhou Trio, consisting of three characters from the Touhou franchise, were seen today being escorted back to their mansion by their maid. Remi, Flan, and Patch - as they are more commonly known - were seen bringing with them giant treasure bags filled with who-knows-what!  
Ally: I certainly don't-knows-what!  
Kent: And I don't care about what you say!  
Ally: Mmm, what you say, eh?  
Kent: Damn straight!  
Ally: On another note, it seems there have been a string of random appearances in the midst of "fanfiction" stories and their plots of random newscasters who just repeat everything about the current plot of the story that even unattentive readers are aware of.  
Kent: You think they noticed our little spiel interrupting a story right now?  
Ally: I think so, Kent. Just call it a hunch!  
Kent: A hunchback of Notre Dame?  
Ally: No, Kent, you dumbass, just a hunch.  
Kent: And on that note, we'll not be returning any time soon, as I'll be beating the ever-loving crap out of Ally, here!  
Ally: And I in turn will sue you and this news channel for thousands of dollars over sexism!.  
Kent: Until never again, I'm Kent!  
Ally: And I'm Ally!

And now, back to our regular scheduled fight sequence!

Gawd: YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET BITCH-SLAPPED BY NONE OTHER THAN-

(cue the theme...you know the one)

Gawd: THE GAWDHAND!

Gawd charges every last bit of energy into his Gawdhand! His Gawdhand trembles with raw energy!

Yoshi: Whoa...  
CC: Whoa...  
Waluigi: Whoa...  
DK: Whoa...  
Mario: Whoa...  
Lucky: Whoa...  
Gary: Whoa...  
Luigi: Whoa...  
Ghoulman: Whoa...  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: Whoa...  
DHPWotD: Whoa...hisssssss...  
Mr. L: *evil grin*

Gawd continues to charge the Gawdhand! It's becoming overwhelming!

Gawd: EAT IT, SUCK IT, HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT!

Gawd sends out a MASSIVE WAVE OF CONCENTRATED ENERGY CRASHING DOWN UPON MR. L AND BROBOT L-FORCE!

Yoshi: Please die, please die, please die, please die, please die, please die, please die, please die...

BROBOT L-FORCE IS COMPLETELY ENVELOPED BY THE BLAST! THERE'S NO WAY TO TELL IF HE'S SURVIVED!

Yoshi: Please no, please no, please no, please no, please no, please no, please, please, oh PLEASE no...

And naturally, the ship has been split in two.

Yoshi:...wait, what!

Suddenly, the ship starts sinking!

Mario: Everyone to the next biggest ship!  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: That's ours!  
Mario: Oh...everyone to the next NEXT biggest ship!

Everyone manages to safely move off onto the _Divinity_ before the ship-without-a-name-really sinks beneath the crushing force of the maelstrom!

Yoshi: Please tell me we don't have to worry about Mr. L anymore, that he's dead, dying, or at least mortally wounded so that we could kill him easily if he just happens to show up now?  
Aroramage: Yoshi, remember what I said about the difference between characters and users?  
Yoshi: Vaguely. A lot's happened since then.  
Aroramage: Well...  
?: Mwahahahahahahahahahaha, ha!

A glowing metal sphere rises up out of the water, opening up its spidery legs and revealing a completely untouched Mr. L!

Yoshi:...f***...  
Mr. L: Alright, then. You want out so bad? HAVE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN POWER!

Brobot L-Force releases a MASSIVE ENERGY BEAM STRAIGHT AT GAWD! THE POWER IS OVERWHELMING! GAWD TAKES AN IMPOSSIBLY HIGH AMOUNT OF DAMAGE AND IS DEFEATED IN A GLORIOUS MOMENT OF EVIL AT ITS WORST! Gawd screams aloud in pain as the energy rips away at his very being until he appears to dissipate into thin air!

DHPWotD:...yeah, I think I'm jussssssssst gonna leave, go back to my tomb, and never appear ever again now...

And with that and a puff of smoke, Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert escapes on the _Matet_!

_Destiny!_ *protected by magical barrier*  
Yoshi: 68 HP, 78 SP  
CC: 58 HP, 75 SP  
Waluigi: 43 HP, 68 SP  
DK: 58 HP, 80 SP  
Mario: 56 HP, 56 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 78 SP  
Gary: 65 HP, 60 SP  
Luigi: 87 HP, 50 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 56 SP

_Vengeance!_  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: 1530 HP, 475 SP

Brotherhood of Evil!  
Mr. L: 250 HP, 75 SP (protected by L-Force)  
BL-F: 2444 HP, 1500 SP

Yoshi: Well guys, it was great adventuring while it lasted.  
CC: You can't mean to give up now!  
Yoshi: Crimson, buddy, I don't see what we can do! He'll counter our moves when we attack and drain our life to restore his own! We're caught in the midst of an inescapable plot device-  
Aroramage: Damn fourth-wall-breaking abilities.  
Yoshi: -about to literally plunge to our doom, and we don't have any other way out. I can't see what more we've got than him at this point.  
CC: We've still got the Power Stars-  
Yoshi: F*** the Power Stars! We're about to die! What can we possibly do to escape certain death?  
Mr. L: Oh, I smell a poem to be made! Well, it's simple now, heroes. I, of course, will make a brilliant escape no matter what you do, so I offer you this one chance. Hand over the Power Stars you have, and I'll save the lot of you from drowning! Or you can drown along with your Power Stars, in which case, I will have absolutely no hard feelings about blasting you away into oblivion before oblivion blasts you away itself!  
Mario: We'll never give this Power Stars to you!  
Luigi: That's right! I may not know much about you, but it's clear to me that you're far worse than any darkness that ever came into my heart!  
Mr. L: Yeah, losing continuously tends to do that to people like me. I'm kind of a, shall we say, persistent little bastard?  
DK: And we're persistent good guys that beat the shit out of little bastards!  
Lucky: You tell 'em, DK!  
Waluigi: Well, I'm not exactly a "good guy" per se, but...  
Gary: We'll stand and fight!  
Yoshi: You guys...even in the midst of this...hopelessly lost battle...  
Ghoulman: THAT. IS. WHAT. BEING. A. HERO. IS. ABOUT!  
Mario: Against impossible odds, ultimate evil, and inevitable death, a hero always rises to turn everything around.  
Waluigi: Just like in Phoenix Wright!  
Yoshi: *wells up with inspiration* Alright then. If we're going down, we'll go down fighting!  
Mr. L: You know, that little tidbit was so inspiring, I almost feel like not killing you. But on the other hand, getting rid of my greatest enemies would be extremely beneficial to my master! So now, heroes, with tearful *choke* farewell, I bid you one last, final, adieu!

Mr. L activates a trigger, which transforms Brobot L-Force such that a laser cannon appears beneath Mr. L's feet! The spidery legs surround this cannon, and then all glows, amplified with energy! Then an orb of energy is created and prepared to be released!

Mr. L: Oh, and since there's no way you can survive this, enjoy the Underwhere while you can!  
Mario: What do you mean while we can?  
Mr. L: Ha! You'll find out soon enough!

Brobot L-Force detaches the energy bomb and drops it over the heroes as Mr. L's maniacal laugh fills the howling winds of the maelstrom! And just as he arrived, Mr. L departs within Brobot L-Force, which resumes its spherical shape for launching off into the starry distance!

Yoshi: Well, guys, how do we beat it?  
?: Leave that to us!

Suddenly, a flash of blue-red appears in front of the destructive sphere!

Yoshi: BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed?  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: Wow. That IS a really long name!  
Mario: Are you mad?  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: Listen! If things end here, what will we readers have to read from now on? We've been together with this for a long time! Heck, even the beginning! We're not about to let our heroes be destroyed by one of their worst enemies!  
Lucky: Can you handle it?  
BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: Don't worry about us! Just get out of here and kick some butt!  
Yoshi: You've got our word!  
Lucky: Hey, by the way, I can teleport us out of here!  
Luigi: Quickly then!

Lucky uses 54 SP for Teleportation! He teleports the heroes back to their ship, which has miraculously survived the maelstrom's onslaught and exited it unharmed! Meanwhile, BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed holds off the sphere from the ship!

BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed: Only one way to get rid of this...

BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed gathers a large amount of energy within his body! And then-

The heroes have sailed safely away from the maelstrom.

Yoshi: You think BT/Crystal Chao/MSMRed is alright?  
Waluigi: Oh, please, what's the worst that can happen to fused users? They've probably already thrown off the sphere, safely sailed the ship out of the maelstrom, and are headed home with treasures and tales and babes and-

A large explosion is heard. Looking towards the source, the heroes see a tiny speck of a ship being enveloped by the maelstrom while a fiery cloud radiates above it. The heroes assume the worst.

Waluigi:...yeah, forget what I said.  
CC: So now what?  
Mario: We keep going.  
Luigi: If anything, this sea connects to the sea we were meant to find first.  
Lucky: The Waters That Burn.

The heroes stand up and look towards an area ahead with blackened skies and blood-red seas.

Yoshi: The Fire Sea.

...

...  
..."And so you see, that is everything you need to know."

Wario looks at ?, stunned.

Wario: This is a lot to take in. Everything revealed to me!  
?: Yes. And now, there's nothing more I can do for you, nor anything you can do for me save for acting as a vessel.  
Wario: You realize the moment I'm gone, I'll just blab about this all over, right?  
?: I know you would. And that's where this comes in handy.

? swiftly grabs Wario on the forehead and stares deeply into Wario's terrified eyes!

Wario: What are you doing?

? mutters an incantation! Wario's eyes seem to be stunned, then they slowly roll back into his head! Soon Wario begins mouthing the incantation ? is muttering!

?:...sealed doors with locks and keys, unraveling chains now bind thee to darkness!

A dark glow shines from ?'s hand. As he removes it, a black star appears on Wario's head, marked by a single G. It lasts for a moment before fading into Wario's head.

?: Krillen, would you please escort our friend here to his quarters? He's going to need his rest.

Out of the shadows appears Krillen Von Roostenheimer, twirling his cane.

Krillen: Absolutely.

Thrusting his cane outward, Krillen points it at Wario, who then rises into the air!

Krillen: Absolutely...master.

(Feb 21, 2010 - Jul 13, 2010)


	13. Ch 12: Flamey O, Hot Man!

Chapter 12: A Whale of A Tale Known As Super Mario 64 DS CARA  
...or Flamey-o, Hot Man!

Our heroes have ventured further than many would dare to on the high seas. They have braced themselves against piratical vampires & co., vengeance streaks a mile long, horrendously ridiculous weather that contradicts every natural law known to man and some known to monkeys and...well, actually, everything else. They've encountered their slightly psychotic nemesis within the grasps of madness and ultimate power, and had it not been for the valiant sacrifice of two local users-

TRC: Actually, we're just fine.  
BM/Crystal King/MSM1: Yargh, it be true!

...okay, thanks to their efforts, the heroes managed to escape the devastating blast that would have surely destroyed them all with their lives. And now they venture further, beyond the Grand Line into terrors that are so horrible, so terrifying, so incomprehensibly magnificently unspeakably fearsome, that much of the world trembles before its sights, its gaze revered as paralyzing and lethal, its fangs bared and sturdy, its claws trimmed and grim, its gullet massive and ravenous, its tail swift and powerful, its wings ominous and darkening, its breath intoxicating and alluring, its mind prepared and omniscient. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, readers of this story, our heroes are about to venture into:

THE GREAT UNKNOWN!

...or at least get a theme song: (cue the One Piece rap)

Yo!  
Ya-yo Ya yo!  
Dreamin', don't give it up Yoshi.  
Dreamin', don't give it up Mario.  
Dreamin', don't give it up Weegee!  
Dreamin', don't gi-give it up give it up give it up give it up give it-no!

Here's how the story goes we find out,  
about a power in the Fire Sea there's no doubt.  
The guys whose eyes on it they'll sing,  
"I'm the Master of All, I'm goin' to be King!"

Ya-yo Ya-yo Ya-yo, uh-oh.  
His name is Yoshi (that's just, well, Yoshi)  
Goin' to be helping our guys out.  
He's got a long tongue (How did that happen)  
Yo-ho-ho, he was just born like that.

Ya-yo Ya yo  
His name's Mario, he's like a ninja-guy.  
And a b.r.o., Wee-gee's really shy.  
The rest of the crew comin' through doin' their thing,  
we really don't know what's gonna be ha-a-a-ppening

Ya-yo Ya-yo Ya-yo, uh-oh  
Set sail for adventure,  
it's the name of just something  
That we're doing.  
Ya-yo, Ya-yo set sail for Something!

...yay!

Yoshi: That has got to be the worst thing I've ever seen done in this story.  
Mario: I can't believe we've gone this low.  
Waluigi: I can't believe I wasn't even mentioned!  
Luigi: Let's just...move on...

And so our heroes venture off through the treacherous-less seas and onward towards the Fire Sea. Without any difficulty whatsoever, the [I]Destiny[/I] transitions from the cool waters of the ocean into the scalding magma of the Fire Sea. Pitch-black clouds marked white by occasional streaks of lightning once again appear in the sky as the ship sails through the Fire Sea. That's three - now four - sentences that I've ended with enunciation and emphasis on the Fire Sea. Soon enough, specks of what appear to be more ships appear on the horizon within the presence of a much larger, much more grandiose ship.

Mario: Bowser and the minions, no doubt.  
Waluigi: You know, I'm suddenly curious, but how come he needs all the minions if he's supposed to be so big and powerful.  
Mario: Because in reality he's more of a wuss than Luigi.  
Luigi:...I'm not sure how to take that.  
Lucky: I think it was a compliment.  
DK: At least it's better than the way he describes Bowser's relationship with the Chain Chomps.  
Luigi: Aren't those his pets or something?  
DK: More obedient than I was back in the 80s.  
Lucky: You were a pet?  
DK: I don't like talking about it.  
Lucky: But-  
DK: I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!

And so our heroes' ship ventures ever closer to the gathering fleet before them until they can hear some faint yet booming voice ahead. As they get closer, the voice becomes clearer and louder and soon enough they can hear Bowser's voice amplified over a scratchy megaphone.

Bowser:...and so that's the reason why we're here in the Fire Sea. In other news, Bingo Tuesdays have been moved to Wednesdays and are now as such called Bingo Wednesdays. Times are the same as Bingo Tuesdays were, and the location is still the Minion's Lounge onboard the _Mighty Fierce Captain Bowser's Super Awesome Flagship of Death and Doom_. Also, on another note, anybody who thinks of stealing anything from the galleys will be flung overboard via Defective Catapult! Thank you, that is all!  
Yoshi: Subtle as ever, I see.  
Mario: I wonder what he meant at the beginning, with his reason for being here to begin with.  
Yoshi: Probably just the usual "Get Power Stars, control the castle, rule the world" scenario that had to be explained for the umpteenth time. Who knows.  
Gary: I can't believe they moved Bingo Tuesdays to Wednesday!  
Waluigi: I can't believe I wasn't even mentioned! Again!  
Everyone else:...  
G&W:...what?  
DK: Well, no need to figure out where to go for Bowser, then.  
Ghoulman: HOW. DO. WE. DO. THIS? DO. WE. JUST. RUN. IN. KICK. BUTT. AND. THEN. GO. HOME?  
Yoshi: Eh, something like that.  
Ghoulman: SWEET!  
?: If you guys think you're gonna get in on your own, then you're gonna run into some problems.

Out from beneath the deck of _Destiny_ pops out the fantastic Touhou Trio! And friends.

Remi: Fwahaha! Nobody expects the reappearance of the three of us from the previous chapter, unless they know about the roulette option nobody within the story knows about!  
Heroes: *rolling eyes* Everybody knows.  
Aroramage: For the love of breaking the fourth wall, WHY DOES EVERY CHARACTER AND CAMEO IN MY STORY HAVE TO HAVE FOURTH-WALL BREAKING ABILITIES?  
Remi: Oh, and we brought along Sakuya and...well, our one guard.  
Guard: My name's Meiling!  
Remi: Right, don't worry about it, Beijing.  
Beijing: It's Meiling!  
Remi: All that aside, we're the only ones who know how to get onto that giant ship, and we're the only ones who can help you through it!  
Yoshi: And what makes you think we're going to listen to what you have to say?  
Patch: Cause we apparently have some of those "Super Suns" you guys were looking for.  
Sakuya: I thought you said they were "Supreme Supernovas".  
Myajin: I thought they were supposed to be "Dubious Dwarves".  
Flan: I thought we were calling them "Gnarly Nebulas".  
Mario: You mean, "Power Stars".  
Waluigi: I don't know, maybe they should be called "Dubious Dwarves". Thanks for the tip, Myuja!  
Myuja: I told you, it's Meiling!  
Yoshi: So you're saying the Power Stars from the docks...were on your ship?  
Remi: Yeah, we actually hijacked that ship from a bunch of turtle guys with hammers or something.  
Sakuya: I think they were technically "mallets".  
Maring: I think they were supposed to be "flattened axes".  
Remi: WE'RE NOT DEBATING THIS, MURIEL!  
Muriel: That doesn't even SOUND like Meiling!  
Sakuya: Don't worry, we can work it out later.  
Yoshi: Okay, so what you're proposing is...  
Remi: We'll give you the Power Stars if you let us lead you into the ship!  
Heroes: O_O Deal!  
Sakuya: Um, Lady Remilia, I don't think that's how you meant to word that.  
Remi:...oh, dammit, you're right! Wait up on that-

Aroramage: *freezes storyline and walks into scene* In accordance with Deal-Making Law for Authorial, Editorial, Publishorial, and Character-Tutorial Simplicity, Article VII, Section V (the letter), Paragraph 14, Subsections B-C, "All deals made within a story between characters are finalized upon the utterance of the word 'Deal' by the character or party that is being 'dealt' with. Any revisions to an organized deal that is finished must either be appealed to within another deal of equal or more significant value or with the permission of the 'dealt' party to revise such a deal." Thank you for your time. *walks out of scene and continues story*

Remi: -deal! ...huh, weird, I feel like I can't do that without some sort of approval from you guys first.  
Yoshi: You didn't see the author walk into the scene just now?  
Remi: Did what now?  
Waluigi: You know, froze the storyline to have himself walk right into the middle of a scene in order to explain a predetermined ensemble of legality to prevent further dispute and be simplistic for the sake of the story?  
Everyone else: O_O...WTF?  
Waluigi:...what?  
Remi: Uh...well, can we change the deal?  
Heroes: NO!  
Remi: Dammit! Well, can we at least make another deal?  
Heroes: NO!  
Remi: Gawddammit!  
Gawd: I STILL EXIST, BUT IN MISERY OF BEING OVERWORKED AND NEVER PAID!  
Everyone else: ?  
Yoshi: Gee, did everybody survive the last chapter?  
?: Don't you mean, from the last FEW chapters?

Out of the gloom appears Captain Crunch!

Capt.: Well, hello there, guys!  
Lucky: Captain, you're back! But...where's the boat?

Indeed, Captain Crunch has appeared not from his normal boat but instead from a stylized and similarly painted submarine!

Yoshi:...  
Aroramage: What, you'd rather take a dip in burning magma? Cause I don't have a problem with that.  
Yoshi:...stupid conveniently placed plot device.  
Remi: Perfect! That submarine just happens to coincide with the needed ability to go beneath the waters in order to access the very shortcut I was referring to earlier!  
Gary: Wait...how did you get there to begin with?  
Patch: Magical powers combined with our personal guard's ability to hold her breath for a long time.  
Majin: I get bored on guard duty sometimes...  
Capt.: In any case, my boat's gone for now because of the last chapter!  
Lucky: Anybody else on board?  
Capt.: Not unless they're stowaways of some kind.

ARE THERE STOWAWAYS ON BOARD?

Odd: Yes  
Ev-

Yoshi: OH NO, YOU ARE NOT DOING A ROULETTE THIS SOON! No, there are NO stowaways on board ANYBODY'S ship!  
Capt.:And just how do you know that?  
Yoshi: BECAUSE WE'RE NOT ASKING QUESTIONS, LET'S GO!

And so, instead of checking the ships for stowaways in the event of somebody just being there, our heroes instead board the submarine, which although seemingly small is surprisingly large on the inside and is able to contain everyone, including the heroes, the vampire group, and the Captain.

CC: Alright, ladies, what is the plan?  
Flan: Ah, he's so cute in his little get-up!  
CC: Madame, this is not a costume, it is a hero's garb worn by many of my ancestors back in the days of truly epic adventures, where life was grand, feasts were plentiful, and the great and mighty gods sought battles in every corner of the known-  
Yoshi: Didn't you just grab that out of nowhere when we met?  
CC: *guh!* Yoshi, you're cramping my style!  
Flan: Ah, he's so cute in his storytelling of fake legends and folklore.  
Remi: In any case, we need to get near the flagship first!  
Capt.: I'm on it!

The Subacrunch dives beneath the flowing magma and charges toward the _Mighty Fierce Captain Bowser's Super Awesome Flagship of Death and Doom_.

Waluigi: Man, I can't even see out this window!

Out of the window is a clear image of what seems like orange Jell-O.

DK: Looks tasty.  
Capt.: Only if you want some severe heartburn!  
Ghoulman: DON'T. WORRY! I. SEE. JUST. FINE!  
Capt.: That's because the only way to see through this magma is the specialized Crunch-X-Ray!  
Yoshi: Don't you mean just X-Ray?  
Capt.: I know what I said. Behold the power of the Crunch-X-Ray!

Captain Crunch flips a switch and indeed, the magma outside the window merely appears as if it were orange water, with the hulls of ships visible within the watery fire.

Waluigi: Okay, props for that.

The Subacrunch continues on its steady path towards Bowser's flagship without any sort of trouble to be encountered.

Yoshi: You know, you'd have thought something would've happened by now.  
Mario: And why would you say that?  
Yoshi: I don't know. It just feels like something's bugging me...  
CC: Come on, Yoshi, it's probably nothing. Let's face it, the enemy can't exactly drop charges down here without blowing magma up onto their ships, and even if they could, don't you think they'd have to notice us first?  
Yoshi: Well, see, that's what I'm wondering: are we at all noticeable?

Meanwhile, on the deck of a nearby ship...

Koopa1: Eh, Mackeral! Check dis out!  
Mackeral:...whatcha lookin' at, Louie?  
Louie: Something's pokin' out o' da water there.  
Mackeral:...what-chu think dat is?  
Louie: Looks kinda lick a pole with a monocle on it.  
Mackeral:...Louie, dat's stupid.  
Louie: No it ain't, Mack! It's exactly whatitis!  
Mackeral:...Louie, yer an idiot. *leaves*  
Louie: Dammit, Mackeral! Git back here! *follows*

Meanwhile, beneath the ship...

Capt.: And that's why this ship is completely undetectable and unlikely to attract attention.  
Yoshi: No offense, Crunch, but I somehow doubt the ship's colors coordinating with the original ship's has anything to do with our visibility.  
Capt.: Well, it's not just any kind of paint. The Trix Rabbit added some creamy yogurty special ingredient to the paint that allows it to fly under the radar of most anything!  
CC: Say, I wonder what happened to the Trix Rabbit anyway?  
Waluigi: Haven't you seen the new commercial?  
CC: The one with him rowing out in the middle of the oooohhhh...right...

Suddenly, a nearby machine starts beeping.

Waluigi: Alright! Microwavable burritos are go!  
Yoshi: Waluigi, I think that's the other timer.  
Waluigi: *looks at machine*...Gawddammit, Captain-  
Gawd: IT'S DAMNED, DAMMIT!  
Waluigi:...I thought the microwave would be faster!  
Capt.: Um, Waluigi, I don't have a microwave on the ship.  
Waluigi: Then what did I...  
Capt.:...dammit, Waluigi, that's the Engine Goop-a-Radar Alert-a-Meter! *runs out of room*  
Yoshi:...the WHAT?

The submarine starts to shake.

Lucky: Waluigi, what did the sign say when you opened the door?  
Waluigi: "Really, Really Fiery and Blazing Chicken-Wing on Spiceville Island Hot."  
Gary: What is wrong with that guy?  
Yoshi: The captain, no idea. Waluigi, TOO MUCH!

Captain Crunch runs back into the control room!

Capt.: Okay, we're rising now!  
Yoshi: Are we underneath?  
Capt.: That, and the engine's turned unstable and bound to explode sometime within the next hour.  
Yoshi: Oh...shit.  
CC: Just hit the fan, I'd say.  
Capt.: That's probably not going to be the only thing flying in the air when the engine goes.  
Remi: Alright, then, no time like the present to speak out on the plan!  
CC: We're about to discuss what may be an intricate and highly detailed plan while the very motor running this vehicle has gone critical and will most likely destroy a majority of the ship that we're going to board in a few minutes as well as this ship, providing us with our free ticket towards imminent destruction via boiling hot magma?  
Remi: Pretty much, but we're magical vampires, so we don't care.  
CC: Gawddammit.  
Gawd: ALL THE WAY!  
Remi: Alright, so when we come up, we'll all be in some kind of room built specifically for submersible ships. Think of it like that one room from the Death Star, only with the entrance in the floor.  
Yoshi: I can't believe how technical you're getting.  
Mario: I can't believe we're making another Star Wars reference.  
Waluigi: Wait, don't tell me...

Meanwhile, an even longer time ago, in a galaxy even farther away...

MUSHROOM WARS!

Chapter 2: The Search for More Readers

Once again, the rest of the world is in danger from the clutches of the evil Bowser. With the princess captured and the mysterious entity behind it all closing his grip upon the Power Stars, our heroes are faced with a limited amount of time to gather all of what they can of the remaining Power Stars before the enemy gets their various hands upon it.

Joining them on their quest are Remilia and Flandre Scarlet, accompanied by Patchouli, Sakuya, and Mushu.

Mushu: IT'S MEILING!

Whatever. The well-known Touhou Quintet have found a crippling weakness within Bowser's flagship while in the midst of the Fire Sea, a treacherous and dangerous sea of magma, in case you've forgotten.

Yoshi: No, we haven't. It's pretty obvious already from the NAME!

Will you stop it! I'm trying to narrate! Anyways, aside from the blatantly obvious texts of life, I've not changed much at all in the form of being floating letters in space. If you want a rumor, though, I heard the author has begun posting this as an official fanfic on site on-

Aroramage: Hey! That's MY thing to say!

Does it really matter?

Aroramage: Yes! And how do you, a bunch of spacey floating letters, even know about that to begin with?

I come from your mind! I know everything you know!

Aroramage:...that's creepy...

And I'm still flyiiiiiiinnnnnggggg...

Finally, the Subacrunch surfaces upon the inside of Bowser's flagship. It is immediately surrounded by Koopas and Goombas.

Flan: Oh, what do we do now? They have us surrounded!  
Gary: Allow me to take care of them!

Gary wanders over to the hatch and opens it up. Gary looks out over the crowd of nearby Koopas and Goombas.

Goomba1: What the heck? Is that...Gary?  
Goomba2: Why is he wearing that on his head?  
Koopa1: Beats the tartar sauce out of me.  
Koopa2: You mean the stuff you had with those fish and chips wasn't mayonnaise?  
Koopa1: No. Why?  
Koopa2: Ah barnacle-nuggets. Excuse me, I'll be puking my innards out while whatever happens here happens...here. *runs out of room at break-neck speed*  
Goomba Commander: Halt, you strange and silly Goomba! Identify yourself!  
Gary: It is I, Gary, son of Gollum and Gloria Goomba, defeater of the Eels, champion of the low-lives, sovereign over all magical Goombas.  
Koopa Commander: Who da other one?  
Gary: I am. And inside are various warriors in legion with me.  
Mario: In legion with him?  
Waluigi: Man, he's really good at this!  
Gary: I seek the finest and the bravest knights to join me in my court at Gooberrot. Will you go and tell your master that if he would allow us to spend the night, that he may join us on our noble quest?  
GC:...do you have a horse?  
Gary: Horse? Horse, horse...uh, hold that thought!

Gary ducks back below deck.

Gary: Okay, they need a horse.

Everyone looks at Yoshi.

Yoshi:...oh, NO you do NOT! I've hung around you guys doing all sorts of crazy things, but I still have my dignity!

A couple minutes pass, and the Goomba and Koopa Commanders throws rocks at the hull to get the attention of Gary.

GC: Hurry up and show us that horse!  
KC: We demand to see it!  
Gary: *from inside* Okay, okay, hold your own!  
GC:...our own what?  
Gary: I'd rather not say, for I thought it was implied.  
KC: Oh please, it's not like we know.  
GC: Do you mean rocks? Or hold fast and steady now?  
KC: Perhaps you mean for us to hold each other? Or ourselves?  
Gary:...is it that bad?  
GC: Is what bad? Our inability to comply?  
KC: Or do you refer to our lack of comprehen-  
Gary: Just hold your horses, man!

*rimshot*

Finally, the hatch reopens and Gary is lifted out on the back of a green dinosaur with reigns in his mouth. He bangs a set of coconuts.

Yoshi: I don't know what's worse: the evolutionary step back, or the humiliation.  
Gary: Behold my mighty steed, tamed in the lands of the Talladega nights and sunshiny days!  
Waluigi: I loved that movie. And Anchorman too!  
DK: I give it five banana peels...of awesomeness!  
GC: Impressive, young Goomba. Yet I believe there's a problem with your steed.  
Gary: And what's that?  
KC: Why, you're using coconuts!  
Gary: Does it really matter? Look, go and tell your master that we have traveled for many days across the land to seek out-  
GC: Where'd you get the coconuts?  
Gary:...we found them.  
KC: What? In this place, the coconuts a plant!  
Gary:...so?  
KC: Why here it would be burned to bits!  
Gary: The seagull can fly over unharmed, and the flaming squid can swim through fire, yet these are not natives to this sea?  
KC: Are you suggesting that coconuts are fire-proof?  
Gary: Not at all! They could be carried!  
KC: What? By a seagull?  
Gary: It could grip it by the husk!  
KC: Look, it's not a matter of where it grips it! It's a simple matter of weight-ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut!  
Gary: Well it doesn't matter. Will you go and relay our message to your master?  
KC: Listen, in order for an average seagull to maintain airspeed velocity, it would need to flap its wings over 42 times per second, am I right?  
Yoshi: PLEASE!  
KC: Am I right?  
Yoshi: We're not interested!  
GC: It could be carried by a Sarasan Seagull!  
KC: Oh, yeah, a Sarasan Seagull, maybe, but certainly not a Mushroomian Seagull, that's all I'm saying.  
Yoshi: Okay, that's it.

Yoshi charges the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos and blasts the surrounding troops!

Remi: Yoshi! That's not part of my master plan!  
Yoshi: Oh yeah? And what was your master plan, dressing up in Koopa Shells and sneaking around like we're really Koopas?  
Remi:...kinda...  
Yoshi: I've got a better idea.

Meanwhile, in the control room of Bowser's flagship...

Bowser is seated upon a throne-like chair, observing his various minions monitoring all sorts of necessary and unnecessary gadgets. Security cameras spread throughout the ship, alarms that alert to intruders, gun command panels that allow for blazing fire in an instant, minion-o-meters to monitor the mood of the minions within each of the rooms, cafeteria menus that display what was to be served in the galley, ATM-monitors for monitoring the ATMs that provided coins for any reason at all, the Nuclear-Red Button of Death kept behind impenetrable glass in the case of an emergency that involved blowing a ship into a million pieces, and most importantly of all, a-

?: DING!  
Bowser: All right! Microwavable burritos are go!  
Goomba1: Sir, Your Gluttonous, is this really necessary? I mean, not to question your decision to place a microwave on board, but don't we have enough unnecessary gadgets without that?  
Bowser: Oh please, there's absolutely no reason to worry about anything involving microwaves and explosive objects! We can handle anyone who comes on board the ship no problem!

Suddenly, the alarm starts blaring!

Koopa1: Sir, intruders have entered the ship at Sub Dock 11B!  
Bowser: Sub Dock 11B? That's where we keep the...the...actually, do we keep anything important there?  
Goomba1: Only the escape subs, Your Mexican-ness!  
Bowser: Ay carumba, indeed! Koopa! Get me the internal blaster cannon and a sombrero stat!  
Koopa2: The highly destructive internal blaster cannon or the dual-mode safety stun internal blaster cannon?  
Bowser: What do you think? THE HIGHLY DESTRUCTIVE INTERNAL BLASTER CANNON!  
Koopa2: A fine choice, Your Unnecessariness!  
Bowser: Whatever, so long as I get rid of these losers.  
Koopa2: Also, regarding the sombrero-  
Bowser: The one with the stripe and the hanging beads!  
Koopa2: Absolutely, Your Ridiculousness!  
Bowser: Now go!

The Koopa runs out of the room.

?: It seems you have visitors, oh Koopa King.  
Bowser: Yeah, yeah, I know already! And what do you plan on doing about it? You just gonna sit there and drink some more tea?

Bowser addresses a figure seated at a white-clothed table, who gently between his feathers brings up a steaming cup of tea and sips it, the steam fogging up his monocle. He replaces the cup, brings out a handkerchief, rubs the monocle to clear it up, and then replaces it on his eye.

KR: Not a bad idea, actually. *evil laugh*

Meanwhile, in the hallways of the ship...

Koopas and Goombas roam about on their normal routines, which is to say doing whatever Bowser told them to do, until suddenly a wall nearby blasts open with an explosive force! Then the heroes start pouring through the hole, dealing with the various Koopas and Goombas easily. Yoshi walks up to a knocked-down Koopa.

Yoshi: Alright, Shelly, you got two minutes to tell me how to get to the control room.  
Koopa1: My name's not Shelly, it's Rick! And I wouldn't tell you where the control room was even if it meant my life!  
Yoshi: You know what just happened with that wall, right?  
Rick: Yeah, so?  
Yoshi: Well, this -*indicates the Gauntlet*- is what caused that explosion. So unless you want to end up like your good friend the wall, I suggest telling me not only what you know but also the truth!  
Rick: O_O Down the hall, take a left, followed by a right two halls down, right at the end, can't miss it!  
Yoshi: That's what I like to hear!

Yoshi rendezvouses with the other heroes.

Yoshi: Any luck?  
Mario: They kept mentioning down the hall over that way, take a left, then a right, towards the end.  
Waluigi: Can't miss it!  
Luigi: I heard it was the fourth hall turn left.  
Yoshi: And I got second hall turn right.  
Flan: And I got 9 different numbers.

Everyone looks at Flan.

Flan: What? I like being sociable! :)  
Remi: Anyways, we should split up anyway just in case! Me and the girls will head down a different hallway looking for guards and what-not. You guys can find the control room!  
CC: Are you sure you'll be alright?  
Patch: We're magical, they're not. We got this.  
Mario: Well, supposing you can avoid any Magikoopas, you should be alright.  
Gary: They look like me, except with robes and glasses. You should watch out for my friend, Larry. He's alright, tell him Gary's on board, he'll know.  
Remi: Fair enough! Come on girls!

And with that, the Touhou Quintet run down the opposite corridor.

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

The heroes run down the hall, following the instructions gathered from the various minions all the way down to the end of the second hall on the right from the fourth hall on the left from the room where they just were.

Yoshi: Ready guys?  
Ghoulman: LET'S. DO. THIS!

Yoshi blasts open the door! And there it is!

Mario: You've-a got to be kidding me.

A large arena is seen in a small distance, connected to the door via a bridge. Surrounding it are more Spiked Bombs, and beneath them is a large lava pit.

Yoshi: How did he make this room on the ship?  
Luigi: Somebody's got too much time on their hands.

The heroes cautiously traverse the bridge onto the giant platform before them. As they gather on the platform, a call goes out:

?: Close the blast doors!

And with a swift bang, the door the heroes entered through slams shut, breaking the bridge and causing it to collapse and fall into the lava below.

Yoshi: Figures.  
?: Gwahaha!

Bowser appears, armored and with an enormous blaster strapped to his right arm.

Bowser: Well, am I more intimidating now?  
Yoshi: No.  
Mario: Not really.  
Luigi:...eh, I've seen worse.  
Bowser: So it's good?  
Luigi: No, I mean I've seen more intimidating things than that.  
Bowser: Like what?  
Luigi: Eh, butterflies. Dandelions and daffodils.  
Bowser: Oh, come on! That's not fair!  
Luigi: No, I'm not kidding! There are some seriously scary butterflies swarming around!  
Bowser: Oh, that is IT! I'm sick of you guys making fun of me! Well, just to teach you a lesson, I've brought some backup! Krillen! Get in here!

Krillen Von Roostenheimer walks casually down a bridge, his cane tapping the stony rock beneath as his cape billows behind him. Once he reaches the arena, the bridge collapses and falls into the lava while the door behind him slams shut.

KR: Well, well, welly, well, well. The heroes once again. And where's the person who brought you here?  
Yoshi: Captain's watching the ship.  
KR: Oh, Crunch and his ships. Do you mean the one on the monitor here?

Krillen indicates a monitor that floats down and shows a view of the submarine in Sub Dock 11B. Suddenly, ice begins to form across the room, slowly enveloping the chamber. Crunch is seen opening the hatch and watching this, but before he can duck back in, the ice traps him. As Crunch is slowly solidified in ice, he looks toward a shadowy figure, points in agony, and then yells at the ceiling before becoming frozen solid with his ship.

Yoshi: What in the world?  
Gary: What did you do?  
KR: Oh, nothing, really. I was just playing with my new toy here.

Krillen brings out his left arm from behind his back, revealing it to be covered in a strange gauntlet that shimmers briefly in the glow of the lava below.

CC: Yoshi...that thing he's wearing...  
Yoshi: I know...

Yoshi looks down at his own gauntlet, its own burnt appearance radiating with the heat, before looking back at Krillen's own gauntlet.

Yoshi: It's just like it.  
KR: Surprised? I thought I'd ask Bowser for permission to use it. After all, he found the other three to begin with.  
Yoshi: You mean these gauntlets are a set of four?  
KR: Why yes! The gauntlet you carry is known as the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos, while the gauntlet I wield...

Krillen turns towards the entrance where he came in and raises his own gauntlet! Suddenly, a blue blast surges from the gauntlet towards the doorway, enveloping it in ice!

KR: *grins evilly* Mine is the Gauntlet of Frozen Demise.

Krillen turns back to the heroes.

KR: So, once we take care of you lot, we'll be taking back that Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos and unite it with its brothers. Then no one will be able to stop us.  
Yoshi: Why do the gauntlets even matter? You guys are after the Power Stars!  
KR: Ah, yes, the Power Stars, mystical and bountiful stores of the cosmos and their power. Don't think we haven't forgotten about those. But of course, you're right! With all the Power Stars in our possession, why waste our time with these silly trinkets? Or have you forgotten their power already?  
Bowser: Alright, Krillen, no need to make a scene. Let's just blast 'em and get it over with.  
KR: Patience, dear Bowser, is a virtue even among vile folk. Besides, I'm willing to answer some questions about these.  
Yoshi: Tell me everything you know!  
KR: Why, certainly! But you see, even I come with a price for information. I gave you enough for free, so just hand over the Power Stars you have, and I'll spill the rest.  
Mario: Not a chance!  
CC: That's completely absurd!  
Waluigi: You're more twisted than me! But not as much as Mr. L, but still twisted!  
KR: My, my, you heroes are a touchy bunch. Very well, if that's how you want it, then we'll just-  
?: Oh, no you don't! We're getting in on this fight, one way or another!

Out of nowhere and from yet another bridge comes the Touhou Quintet! Naturally, as they arrive, the bridge collapses behind them and the door slams shut, trapping everyone within the room!

Remi: We're back, baby!  
KR: Oh goody, more of them.  
Flan: Ooooooh, who's the cock in the cape?  
KR: *flustered* I prefer the term "Noble Gentleman in Villainous Black" or even "Krillen" if you don't mind!  
Flan: Ahhhh, it's so cute how all these animals are dressed up! Except that one, he just looks ugly.  
Bowser: Hey!  
Remi: Never mind them! This is the part where we double-cross you guys!  
Yoshi: WHAT?  
CC: You're joking!  
Remi: Nope! Now we're going to-  
Bowser: Join the bad guys and destroy all of the heroes?  
Remi: What? No, we just want the Power Stars!  
KR: Don't we all?  
Remi: And we'll fight you all for them!

BATTLE 1 START!

_Good Side  
_Yoshi: 100 HP, 90 SP  
CC: 95 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 95 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 105 HP, 90 SP  
Mario: 100 HP, 90 SP  
Lucky: 85 HP, 100 SP  
Gary: 85 HP, 95 SP  
Luigi: 105 HP, 85 SP  
Ghoulman: 110 HP, 75 SP

_Dark Side  
_Bowser: 3000 HP, 150 SP  
KR: 350 HP, 100 SP

_Other Side  
_Remi: 250 HP, 55 SP  
Flan: 300 HP, 70 SP  
Patch: 200 HP, 90 SP  
Sakuya: 225 HP, 75 SP  
Marie: 350 HP, 0 SP

Antoinette: IT'S MEILING!

Battle Music theme this time: Bullet Station from Sonic Heroes!

Yoshi fires a fireball from the GFC at Krillen! Krillen deflects the blast with the GFD! CC slashes at Krillen! Krillen deflects the attack with his cane!

CC: Oh, come on!  
KR: You'll have to do better than that!

Waluigi chucks a Bob-omb at Bowser! The Bob-omb explodes, causing Bowser 26 dge! DK punches Bowser for 16 dge! Mario throws a Fireball at Remi for 3 SP! Remi takes 14 dge! Lucky threw Clover Shuriken at Flan! Flan took 14 dge! Gary used Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Patch for 28 dge! Luigi uses Flame Tornado for 3 SP! Krillen takes 5 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 3 SP! He summons 3 pink mini-Boos and tosses them at Bowser, Sakuya, and Meiling!

Meiling: THANK YOU!

Bowser takes 27 dge! Sakuya takes 13 dge! Meiling takes 39 dge!

Meiling: GAWDDAMMIT!  
Gawd: IT'S ALREADY DAMNED ENOUGH!

Bowser charges the cannon and fires a Bob-omb at Waluigi for 21 dge!

Waluigi; Oh, NO, you did NOT just blow ME up!  
Bowser: Gwahaha! My cannon is super-powerful, with the ability to fire bombs, fire, and of course, lasers!

Krillen Von Roostenheimer uses the GFD and throws an ice beam on the floor, freezing it! Remi flies over the ice floor and attacks Bowser by shooting bullets! Bowser takes a total of 14 dge! Flan uses Crystallized Force - Rainbow Ver. 1 for 7 SP! The crystals on her wings glow and becoming tendrils of light in different colors! She snags Mario, CC, and Ghoulman and smashes them into the ground for 17, 12, and 0 dge!

Flan: Hey! Why didn't he take damage?  
Ghoulman: INTANGIBILITY! IT. IS. USEFUL!  
Flan: Oh...he's funny. :P

Patch casts White Magic for 3 SP! She throws a spell of white magic at Ghoulman, hitting him for 28 dge!

Ghoulman: AAAAAUGH! IT. BURNS!

Sakuya freezes time and throws knives at Lucky! Lucky takes a total of 17 dge! Meiling brings out a giant hammer and smashes DK for 32 dge!

_Good Side  
_Yoshi: 100 HP, 90 SP  
CC: 83 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 74 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 73 HP, 90 SP  
Mario: 83 HP, 87 SP  
Lucky: 68 HP, 100 SP  
Gary: 85 HP, 91 SP  
Luigi: 105 HP, 82 SP  
Ghoulman: 82 HP, 75 SP

_Dark Side  
_Bowser: 2917 HP, 150 SP  
KR: 345 HP, 100 SP

_Other Side  
_Remi: 236 HP, 55 SP  
Flan: 286 HP, 63 SP  
Patch: 172 HP, 87 SP  
Sakuya: 212 HP, 75 SP  
Meiling: 311 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: Dang, these guys are tougher than we thought.  
CC: Ya think?

Yoshi uses the GFC and fires a fireball at Remi for 28 dge! CC slashes at Patch for 14 dge! Waluigi points at Bowser!

Waluigi: You have insulted me! By bombing the crud out of my face! And now, I challenge you to a duel!  
Bowser: What? What is this?  
Waluigi: I'm gonna bombard the shit out of you!

Waluigi drags Bowser to a separate area of the platform! Suddenly, the platform begins to tip over towards their end!

KR: Fools! Your weight distribution on this unstable platform will cause it to rock one way or another!  
Bowser: Who said it was unstable? This platform's perfectly stable! Just shifty.  
KR: That's not stable, you idiot!  
Bowser: Well, that was unnecessary!  
Yoshi: Quick! Balance it out!

DK runs over to the opposite side with Gary, Patch, and Sakuya! The platform levels out!

Yoshi: Guess this is the way to fight!

Mario throws a Fireball at Krillen for 3 SP! Krillen defends with the GFD, reducing the damage to 3! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Heart charm to give the heroes regeneration powers! Luigi uses Fire Punch for 2 SP! He attacks Krillen, who blocks the attack with GFD, nullifying it and freezing part of Luigi!

Luigi: What the-?  
KR: Hahahahaha! Behold my power!

Ghoulman gets behind Krillen and sneak-attacks! Krillen takes 14 dge!

KR: Alright, wise guy, prepare to be frozen!

Krillen used the Gauntlet of Frozen Demise and fires an icy wave at Ghoulman! Ghoulman takes 16 dge!

Remi: Hey! Who forgot we were here?

Remi uses Fate Twist for 5 SP! She changes the course of future events to avoid taking damage! Flan uses Crystallized Force - Orange for 3 SP! She picks up an orange crystal and throws it into the air, creating an artificial sun! The sun's heat intensifies the power of fire moves! Meiling rams Luigi for 21 dge, taking 5 dge in the process! The heroes regain 15 HP! The sun remains active!

_Good Side_ *recovery*  
Yoshi: 100 HP, 90 SP  
CC: 95 HP, 85 SP  
Mario: 98 HP, 84 SP  
Lucky: 83 HP, 97 SP  
Luigi: 99 HP, 82 SP  
Ghoulman: 81 HP, 75 SP

_Dark Side  
_KR: 331 HP, 100 SP

_Other Side_  
Remi: 208 HP, 50 SP  
Flan: 286 HP, 60 SP  
Meiling: 306 HP, 0 SP

Meanwhile, in this corner...

Waluigi grabs a Bob-omb and uses his tennis racket to serve it at Bowser! Bowser whacks the Bob-omb back with his cannon armament, only to have Waluigi smack it back! The two rally back and forth when finally the Bob-omb explodes on Bowser for 47 dge!

_Waluigi vs. Bowser  
_Waluigi: 74 HP, 85 SP  
Bowser: 2870 HP, 150 SP

And in this corner...

DK punches Patch for 23 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Patch and Sakuya for 47 & 52 dge respectively!

Gary: Whoo! Never been that powerful before!  
Sakuya: Damn it! Flandre's sun has made his attack stronger!  
Patch: I've got this.

Patch casts a Fire Spell for 3 SP! She throws fire at DK for 14 dge! Sakuya freezes time and throws knives at Gary for 23 dge!

_Unlikely Duo Duel  
_DK: 59 HP, 90 SP  
Gary: 62 HP, 87 SP  
Patch: 88 HP, 84 SP  
Sakuya: 160 HP, 75 SP

Back in the center...

Yoshi: Guys, let me take care of Krillen.  
Mario: You can't do it alone.  
Luigi: I'll help ya out.  
Yoshi: Thanks, Luigi. We'll fight him on his side!

Yoshi creates a fireball with the GFC and holds it in the palm of his hand! He runs, tracing a path before him with it through the ice directly towards Krillen!

KR: Ah, dare to face me? Then come get some!

Mario and CC use Blazing Driller for 7 SP each! CC sets his blade on fire and leaps in the air while Mario creates four fireballs! CC spirals down on Flan for 43 dge! Mario hits Flan with a fireball for 57 dge, igniting CC and causing him to jump in the air once more! The process repeats for Remi, Meiling, and Meiling for 42+56, 37+51, and 38+52 each! But Remi's Fate Twist alters the damage inflicted to her to 0! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Horseshoe charm to increase the heroes' speed! Ghoulman uses Ghost Blade for 2 SP! He summons 2 Pink Boos and chews on them to form a hilt and blade! He swings the blade at Flan for 17 dge! Remi uses Destiny Bind for 5 SP! She binds the fate of Mario with CC!

Remi: Now if one of you goes down, you'll BOTH go down!  
CC: Well, wouldn't have it any other way! And not in a creepy fan-rabbit kind of way.  
Mario: Thanks...I'm...relieved?

Flan uses Crystallized Force - Green for 3 SP! She picks up a green crystal and creates a giant crystal blade! She attacks Ghoulman, who blocks with his Ghost Blade! The two blades nullify each other! Meiling brings out a battle axe and slashes at CC for 17 dge!

CC: Where does she get these things?  
Waluigi: *off to the side* And where is she keeping them?

The heroes recover 15 HP! The sun is blazing!

_Good Side_ *recovery* (speedy!)  
CC: 92 HP, 78 SP  
Mario: 100 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 85 HP, 94 SP  
Ghoulman: 96 HP, 73 SP

_Other Side  
_Remi: 208 HP, 45 SP  
Flan: 169 HP, 57 SP  
Meiling: 128 HP, 0 SP

Meanwhile, on the other side...

Yoshi and Luigi team up and use up 8 SP! Luigi hops on Yoshi's back and makes two fireballs! Yoshi uses the GFC to create his own fireball, and the duo charge at Krillen! Luigi then begins to spin on Yoshi's back, sending fireballs at Krillen! Krillen tries to block as many as he can, but in the end is hit by a seldom few, causing him 21+18+4+16+13+21 dge! Yoshi then rams into him with the GFC! Krillen barely deflects the attack with his GFD, taking a mighty 41 dge!

Luigi: I call that, the Blitz-Green!  
KR: Impressive! But can you handle _this_?

Krillen brings out his cane and uses it in combination with the GFD! He sends a blizzard at the duo, dealing them 34 dge and freezing them almost completely!

KR: What's the matter? Can't handle a little arctic blizzard?

_Climactic Battle  
_Yoshi: 66 HP, 82 SP  
Luigi: 65 HP, 74 SP  
KR: 197 HP, 100 SP

Back to the explosive side...

Waluigi and Bowser are now rallying two Bob-ombs at each other! The Bob-ombs begin to flash red! Waluigi panics and smashes both directly at Bowser! Bowser is hit for 54+57 dge!

_Waluigi vs. Bowser  
_Waluigi: 74 HP, 85 SP  
Bowser: 2759 HP, 150 SP

Now to the opposite side of them...

DK and Gary spend 6 SP each! Gary looks into the Magical Book of Spells and finds a chant! DK summons up two barrel cannons to his sides! Gary then loads himself into one of the cannons! DK fires the cannons and shoots out multiple Garys! Each Gary explodes on impact, inflicting 10+13+17+21+24+26+29 dge onto Sakuya! The real Gary appears and runs back to his side!

Gary: The Cloning Blaster!  
DK: Oh-AH!

Patch uses a Recovery Spell for 4 SP! She helps Sakuya recover 75 HP! Sakuya uses Cutting Time for 5 SP! She throws knives at Gary for 14 dge, then picks them up and throws them again for 13 dge, then again for 17 dge!

_Unlikely Duo Duel  
_DK: 59 HP, 84 SP  
Gary: 18 HP, 81 SP  
Patch: 88 HP, 84 SP  
Sakuya: 95 HP, 75 SP

And now for the main course...

CC slashes at Remi for 16 dge! CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He furiously slashes at each opponent dealing 21 dge each! Mario throws two fireballs for 6 SP! He attacks Remi and Flan, giving them 32 and 27 dge respectively! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover charm to increase the team's luck! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Shooting Star charm to increase the team's SP by 10! Ghoulman uses the Ghost Blade and attacks Remi for 17 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 3 SP! He summons three pink boos and throws them at Remi, Flan, and Meiling for 18, 17, and 19 dge respectively! Remi fires off rounds at the heroes who take 3 dge each!

Remi: What? Why didn't that work?  
Lucky: We're too fast for you!  
CC: ¡Andale! ¡Andale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba! ¡Yii-hah!  
Mario: *looks at CC surprised*

Flan uses up 15 SP and begins charging an attack! Meiling brings out a battering ram and charges at-

Mario: What?  
CC: A battering ram? Seriously?  
Mephiles: Oh, who cares? I've got a...

...

Miles: OH COME ON!

Manifesto charges at CC! CC gracefully and with ease dodges the attack! The heroes are no longer able to recover! The sun is burning!

_Good Side_ (speedy!)  
CC: 92 HP, 88 SP  
Mario: 100 HP, 81 SP  
Lucky: 85 HP, 98 SP  
Ghoulman: 96 HP, 83 SP

_Other Side  
_Remi: 104 HP, 45 SP  
Flan: 104 HP, 42 SP (charging!)  
Meiling: 88 HP, 0 SP

On to the side dish...

Waluigi and Bowser are now juggling three regular Bob-ombs and one massive Big Bob-omb!

BB: I didn't sign up for this back in Chapter 1!  
Waluigi: I don't care! You were never supposed to appear again anyway!

The Bob-ombs begin to glow red and are whacked quickly back and forth! 2 Bob-ombs explode on Bowser's side while one blows up on Waluigi! Bowser takes 97 dge! Waluigi takes 42 dge! The Big Bob-omb is still in play!

Bowser: Give up, you! There's no way you can stand an explosion caused by the Big Bob-omb!  
Waluigi: Then I better activate the safety switch!  
BB: But I don't have a safety switch!

Waluigi smashes the Big Bob-omb towards the edge! Bowser dives and almost doesn't get it! Then Waluigi smashes him towards Bowser's other side! Bowser can't quite reach it! The Big Bob-omb explodes and violently shakes the platform! Bowser takes 1214 dge! He is nearly blown off the platform but manages to cling for dear life thanks to a grappling hook in the cannon!

_Waluigi vs. Bowser  
_Waluigi: 32 HP, 85 SP  
Bowser: 1448 HP, 150 SP

For a secondary side, might we suggest...

DK punches Sakuya for 15 dge! Gary looks up a recovery spell and uses it for 5 SP! Gary recovers 50 HP! Patch fires a magic bolt at Gary for 7 dge! Sakuya throws knives at DK for 14 dge!

_Unlikely Duo Duel  
_DK: 45 HP, 84 SP  
Gary: 61 HP, 76 SP  
Patch: 88 HP, 84 SP  
Sakuya: 80 HP, 75 SP

And for dessert...

Yoshi creates an orb of fiery energy with the GFC! He melts the ice around him and Luigi, freeing the two! Luigi uses Fire Punch for 2 SP against Krillen! Krillen takes 7 dge!

_Climactic Battle  
_Yoshi: 66 HP, 82 SP  
Luigi: 65 HP, 72 SP  
KR: 190 HP, 100 SP

Krillen creates an orb of chilling energy with the GFD! He charges at Yoshi! Yoshi defends with his own sphere of energy!

KR: Give up, Yoshi! You can't hope to beat my power, even with the state of our current environment!  
Yoshi: Don't think I'll give up so easily!  
KR: Poppy cock! You'll feel the sting of my attack at full force!

Meanwhile, over in the other side...

CC slashes at Flan for 14 dge! CC slashes at Meiling for 17 dge! Mario uses a Fire Punch on Remi for 2 SP! Remi takes 23 dge! Mario uses a Fire Punch on Flan for 2 SP! Flan takes 27 dge! Lucky throws clover shuriken at Meiling for 17 dge! Lucky throws clover shuriken at Remi for 15 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 6 SP! He summons six pink boos, chews them up, then spits them at Remi, Flan, and Meiling twice for 17+19, 18+18, and 23+21 dge respectively!

Remi: Oh man! We can't hold em off much longer!  
Mario: Give up now so we can kick Bowser's butt!  
Remi: Did I say anything like that? No! We will not give up! We'll stand and fight for what we want, and what we want is-  
Meiling: To run away from these guys cause we can't quite beat them!  
Remi: What? No! Just because we're on the losing end doesn't mean a thing when all we have to do is-  
Flan: Blow them up!  
Remi: Well, yeah, I'd like that, but...FLAN! What are you doing?

Remi hits the deck with Meiling! Flan uses Big Bang!

Mario: O_O Oh boy...

Flan causes a massive explosion right inbetween the two sides! The explosion hits the heroes, causing 54 dge to each! The explosion also hits the other side, causing them 37 dge each! Remi, Flan, and Meiling are sent flying via the explosion!

Remi: Flandre, you idiot! You're not supposed to use the Big Bang indoors! Now we're gonna-

The trio crash through the ceiling and drop a bag back onto the platform. The heroes open the bag, revealing 7 Power Stars!

Lucky: So that's what happened to the stars from the docks.  
Bowser: Hey! Those are MINE!

Bowser reappears with Waluigi! The platform starts to tip over a bit! The heroes are no longer speedy!

_Good Side_  
CC: 38 HP, 88 SP  
Waluigi: 32 HP, 85 SP  
Mario: 46 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 31 HP, 98 SP  
Ghoulman: 42 HP, 83 SP

_Dark Side  
_Bowser: 1448 HP, 150 SP

Meanwhile, on the other other side...

The shift in weight causes the platform to tip! The side begins to down towards them!

DK: Geez, even with all that armor, Bowser can't weight this thing down anymore on his side?  
Gary: We've got to stabilize the playing!

The characters shift towards the center along with the heroes and Bowser from above! In the meanwhile, Yoshi is being pushed back by Krillen towards the center, with Luigi in hot pursuit (no pun intended)!

Patch: Hey, when did Remi and the others leave?  
Sakuya: Oh that's so typical of her! After all I've done for her, this is how she repays me!  
CC: Actually, they kinda blew up.  
Sakuya:...oh...well then...  
Patch:...should we go after them?  
Sakuya: *sigh* Duty before dirty, I sometimes say. Come along, Patchouli.

Sakuya and Patch leave the field after Remi and the others. The platform begins to level out! The sun disappears!

_Good Side_  
CC: 38 HP, 88 SP  
Waluigi: 32 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 45 HP, 84 SP  
Mario: 46 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 31 HP, 98 SP  
Gary: 61 HP, 76 SP  
Luigi: 65 HP, 72 SP  
Ghoulman: 42 HP, 83 SP

_Dark Side  
_Bowser: 1448 HP, 150 SP

_Dueling  
_Yoshi: 66 HP, 82 SP  
KR: 190 HP, 100 SP

The others surround Yoshi and Krillen in the center!

KR: Ha! Now it's just you and me!  
Yoshi: Like I'd want you to fight me by yourself! Hardly sporting for you, is it?  
KR: I must say, I'm disappointed in that I'll have such an easy time mowing you down! And now without that annoying sun to strengthen your power, I can more easily take you down!  
Bowser: Go, Krillen! Crush him into the dust!  
Waluigi: Yoshi! Kill that sonuvabitch!  
CC: You mean, "cock of a doo"?  
Gary: No, even better, that cock of a doooooo...-d!  
Heroes: Ohhhh!  
KR: Bowser.  
Bowser: On it.

Bowser aims the cannon at the heroes and sets the setting to "Mega-Laser"!

Bowser: Sayonara, losers!  
Mario: I should say the same for you, Bowser!  
Bowser: What're you talking abo-!

Bowser has his exposed tail grabbed by Luigi!

Bowser: What? Are you kidding me?  
Luigi: Hehehe...  
Bowser: O_O Oh my Gawd...  
Gawd: STILL NOT YOUR GOD!  
Bowser: YOU'RE MR. L?  
Luigi: Ugh, no, Mr. L's something else entirely now.  
Bowser: Oh...okay, so what're you gonna do?  
Luigi: This!

Luigi spins Bowser and throws him into a Spike Bomb!

Bowser: Oh how this looks familiar!

Bowser collides with the Spike Bomb and is blown up! His armor falls apart! Bowser is sent flying!

Bowser: I'll get you pesky plumbers if it's the last thing I'll-

Bowser crashes through the ceiling!

...and now for more exciting plot developments!

Music of the Moment: 528491 from Inception soundtrack!

Yoshi and Krillen are dueling to the death, the Gauntlets exerting tremendous amounts of energy! Fire and ice are spewing out from the two and nearly hitting the others!

Yoshi: You guys get out of here! I'll hold him off!  
CC: We won't leave you behind like this!  
Yoshi: Don't worry about me! Just get out of here!  
Waluigi: But how? There aren't any bridges left!  
KR: Stuck between a platform and a hot place, aren't you sorry lot? And without some kind of magic, there's no escape for you!  
Lucky: I'll take care of them and come back for you, alright?  
Yoshi: Do it quick!

Lucky uses Teleportation for 48 SP! He teleports the others off the ship! Yoshi and Krillen continue to face-off! The arena surrounding them begins to collapse!

KR: Well, it's only a matter of time. But while your gauntlet can't save you from the clutches of the lava pit below, mine can! So all this is is a matter of how long you'll last! Especially with these in my power!

Krillen reveals the 7 Power Stars from Lethal Lava Land and uses their energy to further increase his gauntlet's power! Yoshi is slowly being sent to the edge! A bit of the platform collapses beneath his foot and falls into the lava pit below! Krillen begins to laugh maniacally as his gauntlet begins to overwhelm Yoshi's!

Yoshi: No...just...a little...longer...  
KR: You're weak, just like the rest of you lot! They don't deserve a place in the new world, in MY world!  
Yoshi: What are you talking about?  
KR: The same theory I once had about mere stores of power is not all the Power Stars are capable of. Thanks to my easy alliance with the great unknown, I have discovered that with enough Power Stars, one can recreate the world to his own liking.  
Yoshi: Is that what his plan's all about?  
KR: Like I need to know what his plan is to know that my greatest desire will be achieved! A world where I dominate and everyone else bows before me! Prepare to be the first to fall to my power, an example for those who would disobey me! Prepare to be my first victim...prepare to DIE!

Suddenly, Lucky appears!

Lucky: Yoshi!  
Yoshi: NOW!

Lucky uses the Power Stars to increase Yoshi's attack tenfold! Yoshi's power overwhelms Krillen's and causes an explosion!

KR: What? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Krillen is blown back by the attack! The Gauntlet of Frozen Demise falls off of his arm, and he plummets, screaming, into the lava pit below! Yoshi is sent flying back as well, but is caught by Lucky, who Teleports him out before finally the entire arena collapses!

...

Meanwhile, back on the _Destiny_...

The heroes await anxiously for Lucky and Yoshi's safe return. Finally, a pop and a puff of smoke, and the duo appears, safe and sound.

CC: Yoshi!  
Waluigi: Oh, man, I can't believe you almost died!  
DK: Look!

The heroes watch as Bowser's flagship with the really long name explodes, bursts into flame, and sinks beneath the waves of the Fire Sea.

Yoshi:...we did it.  
Mario: You did good, man.  
Luigi: Yeah, teleporting us to safety then having Lucky come back with the Power Stars so that you could overtake Krillen was a smooth plan.  
Lucky: And it worked flawlessly.  
Yoshi: Thanks, you guys. But now, I think I'll just sleep...*closes eyes and begins to sleep peacefully*  
Gary: You deserve it, man.

Suddenly, a fog cloud descends over the heroes' ship.

DK: What the?  
Ghoulman: NOW. WHAT?  
Waluigi: Brr, why'd it get so cold all of a sudden?

The fog compresses itself and finally wraps itself around Yoshi's gauntlet. Then it materializes and fuses with it.

Ghoulman: WHAT. THE. HECK?  
Luigi: That's bizarre.  
DK: Why is it doing that?  
Lucky: Maybe the gauntlets are semi-sentient or have some kind of magical pact that when defeated by another person forces them to come upon the victor.  
Gary: I read about that kind of magic! It's a Pact of Allegiance, a sort of "Defeat Means Loyalty" thing.  
Waluigi: Is that anything like "Defeat Means Friendship"? Cause honestly, after all of this, I can say that I don't believe that crap anymore.  
Lucky: I'm practically living proof of that, you twit!  
Gary: Don't worry about it. If anything, Yoshi's that much more powerful. Who knows how the Gauntlet works now? Maybe it can be switched from Fiery Chaos to Frozen Demise and back?  
Mario: Well, however it works, we'll let Yoshi investigate after he wakes up. For now, let's head home.

And so the _Destiny_ sets sails back towards the blue waters of regular ocean, off into the glorious picturesque sunset, another world saved and another key-

Luigi: Oh yeah, I forgot I had that after beating Bowser!

...anyway, another key recovered so as to access the next part of the castle, the upper floors, and eventually, Bowser and the evil behind him, a quest worthy only of:

SUPER MARIO 64 DS CARA!

...and other stories!

...

...  
"...I would expect no less from them..."  
"What shall we do, master?"  
"Continue with the plan as scheduled...there will be no more mistakes with them..."

...

...

...

The collapsed wreckage of Bowser's flagship sinks continuously to the bottom. Inside, a lava pit chamber is being filled with molten magma from two punctured holes in the ceiling. Near one of the walls is an empty platform except for a cane, a top hat, a monocle, and a green feather. The magma smolders over the lava, fusing with it and plunging the ship even further. The level begins to rise as the platform begins to be enveloped in its grasp.

Just as the lava is about to take the monocle, a monstrous hand emerges and grasps it. Then a full body emerges from the pit, grabs the cane, places the top hat on its head, and looks at the feather.

"...guess we forgot to cook the goose at full temperature..."

A smile and a cackle fill the lonely air of the chamber as a renewed yet undead Krillen Von Roostenheimer sends fire at the lonely feather on the ground, burning it into ash...

...  
...

(Jul 19, 2010 - Aug 3, 2010)

AN: Future chapters will take longer to update due to their manner of writing construction. Feel free to check out my other story as well, The Five Star Universe! And until next time!


	14. Ch 13: The Wet, the Dry, and Oh Why Me?

**_Chapter 13: The Wet, The Dry, and Oh Why Me?_**

After returning to the castle surprisingly in the nearby docking area, the heroes venture once more through the front doors and into the upper regions.

Mario: Well, guys, it's time to ascend to the top of this castle.  
Waluigi: Woo-hoo!  
Yoshi: I guess this is the beginning of the end, then.  
Mario: Yep. In theory, we'll go through gathering more Power Stars and face off against Bowser one last time, saving the entire castle from being taken over by his corruptive influence and saving Peach.  
Waluigi: Anything else you want to go over?  
Mario: Nope. That's it.

They approach another set of double doors with a lock on them. Mario pulls out the key from the backpack and inserts it into the lock, turning it and opening the door. The heroes then proceed up the spiral staircase and enter a circling hallway with various portraits.

Yoshi: Wow, this is pretty interesting.  
Lucky: Looks like there are more paintings in here.  
CC: But some of these look like the ones from the lower levels.  
Mario: Yeah, I don't know exactly why that is.  
Luigi: Could be the princess likes these portraits and wants multiple copies.  
Gary: Or maybe defense?  
Waluigi: Or maybe, I'm bored, LET'S GO THROUGH THAT ONE!

Waluigi points at one different painting depicting a blue spider skimming over the surface of water, just like some of the ones from Dire Dire Docks.

Luigi: I thought you didn't like "sucky spiders".  
Waluigi: I don't. I'm just trying to move the plot.  
Aroramage: Why, Gawd, why?  
Gawd: BECAUSE I HATE ALL OF YOU!  
Yoshi: Well, let's go!

And so once more they go through the routine of entering portals of oil in order to get from one place to another, because logically it's sensible to jump through paintings to go to other places...yay!

And guess where we just landed? Out of the ocean and into the sea! The heroes land in the midst of a large enclosed area filled with water.

Yoshi: Water? Again? Are you kidding me?  
DK: I'll smell like wet fur for weeks!  
CC: Ditto to that!  
Waluigi: I'll be all pruney for ages.  
Gary: I don't even know if we can get pruney.  
Ghoulman: I. DON'T. EVEN. HAVE. TO. GO. INTO. THE. WATER!  
Lucky: Oh shut it, ya damn specter.  
Yoshi: This is just ridiculous. We really need to get out of water worlds and into something dryer.  
Mario: Well, don't worry. If I recall correctly, this world has switches placed at various levels that will adjust the level of the water to accompany our wants and desires.  
Waluigi: So we'll be treading water, breaking water, and/or adjusting liquidity?  
Yoshi:...oh Gawddammit.  
Gawd: I DAMN IT SO MUCH MORE THAN NORMAL!

Anyways, the heroes look about the place to try and find the first control. They look about the entire location, finding various metal platforms and layers and five different switches, each at a different level, as well as a couple of cages and what appears to be a long pipe floating near a platform in mid-air.

Yoshi: Geez, this place is trippy.  
Mario: Well, let's explore the layout. We might as well find out where the Power Stars are, if they're around up here or not.  
Yoshi: Why wouldn't they be?  
Mario: Our good old enemies.  
Yoshi: Good point.  
CC: Seriously, are you just forgetful or something? You keep asking these questions as if you forgot something.  
Yoshi: I haven't forgotten anything. It's probably just someone else forgetting about my experiences and typing this stuff into a computer or something so that I say these things whether I know about them or not.  
Aroramage: I DON'T HAVE AMNESIA, JUST MOVE ALONG!

And so the heroes climb up a metal ramp near the first switch. As they pass by it, they trigger it, causing the water to sink down to the level of the switch. They then proceed up the ramp and over to the next platform, where a Chuckya hovered about.

Mario: Careful, that guy can easily chuck ya a good distance.  
Yoshi: *gives Mario a look* No kidding.  
Waluigi: As the group's respective party member, I volunteer, Crimson, as Chuckya bait.  
CC: Hey!  
Yoshi: Nobody's sacrificing anybody to get thrown by some kind of weird...Bob-omb-esque...thing...for lack of a better term!  
Luigi: Chuckya.  
Yoshi: Gotcha!  
Lucky: Well then what're we supposed to do about this?  
Yoshi: We'll have to defeat it.  
Mario: But the moment you approach it, it'll just chuck you far away.  
Luigi: It's unstoppable unless you approach it from behind and chuck it!  
Waluigi: You know, something about that water makes me want to upchuck.  
CC: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck-  
Aroramage: NO!  
CC: Ah, but that's just-  
Aroramage: NO!  
Ghoulman: I. AM. JUST. THE. CHARACTER. FOR. THE. JOB!

Ghoulman sneaks behind the Chuckya, grabs it, and throws it!

Chuckya: Why, Gawd, why?  
Gawd: I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!

The Chuckya explodes into a thousand pieces and spreads out coins throughout the area!

Waluigi: COINS!

Waluigi instantly snatches up all the coins! Not that it really matters. I mean, it's not like we ever need these coins anyway, right? So why do I bother? Because yes.

Yoshi: Um, okay then.

Mario: And now we go to the top of this thing!

And so they did.

Luigi: Well, from this platform, we can easily jump over to that pipe. If I remember correctly, we can get 1-Up Mushrooms in there.  
Yoshi: Okay, question: why would we want those 1-Ups if we never die?  
CC: I've been beaten twice before. I'll need them more than anyone!  
Lucky: And in case you forgot, you nearly died in the last chapter.  
Yoshi: I haven't forgotten! I just don't see why we will need these items if we won't use them anyway.  
Aroramage: Get em cause you'll need em.  
Yoshi: No we won't.  
Aroramage: GET EM CAUSE I'LL MAKE YOU ANYWAY!  
Yoshi: You can't make us get-

And so they got them.

Yoshi: Ah, Gawddammit!  
Gawd: AND SO I DO!

They fall through the pipe and land back in the water from before. They notice the depth has changed thanks to their switch-fi-doodling earlier.

Yoshi: What the hell does that mean?  
Aroramage: It's a derogatory term for your earlier actions, namely that you messed with a switch.  
Yoshi: Couldn't you just-  
Aroramage: No.  
Waluigi: Hey, check this out!

Waluigi has swum over to a nearby ramp, climbed up it, and arrived at the top where a hole appears to be.

Waluigi: This reminds me of one of those holes where people jump in and then get blasted off in some sort of cannon!  
Yoshi: Waluigi, that's because it IS one of those holes where you jump in and get blasted off in a cannon! We did that back in Chapter 1!  
CC: Wow, that was a looooooooong time ago.  
Waluigi: And I think we could use it to travel all the way across to that other caged-off area!  
Mario: Well that's nice, but what about the rest of the area?  
Yoshi: Well, we kinda flooded it.  
Gary: But that can easily be remedied! Right?  
Luigi: Sure. Just swim to the bottom of the tank and flip the new switch.

The heroes look down at the switch, a good ways below the surface of the sea.

Yoshi: Or, plan b, we fry this water and dry it up!

Yoshi uses the Gauntlet!

Mario: Wait, Yoshi!

Yoshi throws energy at the water! The water freezes over, creating a platform!

Yoshi: What the?  
Mario: Yoshi, did you forget about the gauntlet?  
Yoshi: It's the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos, not the Gauntlet of Frozen Demise!  
Mario:...YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD HIM?  
Yoshi: TOLD ME WHAT?  
CC: I thought you were going to tell him!  
Waluigi: I didn't feel like telling him.  
DK: I was, uh, distracted!  
Lucky: I was tired! I just got out of there with him!  
Gary: Uh, I was busy! Reading!  
Luigi: I was pretty sure you would've told him.  
Ghoulman:...  
Mario: Well? What about you?  
Ghoulman:...I'M. A. GHOST. BOOOO!  
Mario: Oi...  
Yoshi: Okay, what's going on? What don't I know? And why is everything I know wrong?  
Waluigi: Just forget the words and sing along!  
Yoshi: WALUIGI!  
Waluigi: What?  
Yoshi: NOT NOW!  
Waluigi: Ah...  
Mario: Well, the thing is, after your narrow escape from the clutches of Krillen Von Roostenheimer, you arrived on the ship, fell asleep, and while you were asleep, a fog came up, surrounded your gauntlet, and transfigured it into a more powerful gauntlet with the power of both the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos and the Gauntlet of Frozen Demise.  
Yoshi:...  
Mario: Or so I was told.  
Yoshi:...  
Mario: By Gary.  
Gary: I was busy!  
Yoshi:...you mean to tell me I'm even stronger now than I was before?  
Mario: Well, more or less.  
Yoshi:...BOO F***ING YAH! It's about TIME something good happened! So who knows how to switch between the two?  
Heroes:...  
Yoshi:...that's one of those, "You've got to learn that by yourself" things, isn't it?  
Mario: Yeah.  
Gary: Pretty much.  
Yoshi:...Gawddammit.  
Gawd: QUIT USING MY NAME!  
Yoshi: Well, no time like the present then.

Yoshi examines the Gauntlet carefully. He finds that the gauntlet now has a marker representing a compass, with the north end wielding a red gem while the south end wields a blue crystal. There is a dial extending from the middle that points towards the southern point.

Yoshi: Wow, this is relatively simple. This dial points to each of these points, representing the four gauntlets. Fiery Chaos is the red gem, while Frozen Demise is the blue gem.  
Gary: Well, when you put it THAT way...  
Yoshi: So now all it is is a matter of adjusting the dial towards the point to determine what element I wield.  
Waluigi: That's so - I'm bored, LET'S USE THE CANNON ALREADY!  
Yoshi:...my intrigue knows no attention span.

And so the characters load up into the backpack and are placed on DK's back. DK then loads up into the cannon and aims it towards the caged-off area. He clears it just enough to make it over! He then lands in the water once more and dumps the heroes out of the backpack.

DK: Alright, we're here.  
Waluigi: And we're wet.  
Gary: Don't worry about it, let's just dive down there and stuff.

And so they did. (underwater voices activate)

Yoshi: Geez, this place is just full of surprises.  
Mario: What do you mean?  
Yoshi: I mean, look at that! There's a tunnel.

And sure enough there was.

Yoshi: Well, I'm guessing we'll be swimming down there then, eh?  
Luigi: Yeah, pretty much.  
Ghoulman: I. CAN. SURVIVE. UNDERWATER. FOR. UNLIMITED. AMOUNTS. OF. TIME!  
DK: Actually that sounds like a-  
Waluigi: Too late, already underwater, going through tunnel, NOW!

And so the heroes traversed the tunnel minding their air gauges once more. They passed by two grates and finally emerged in what appeared to be an underground town.

Yoshi: Oh Gawd don't tell me.  
Gawd: MY LIPS ARE SEALED EXCEPT WHEN YELLING AT YOU!  
Waluigi: It's the lost city of Atlantis!  
Mario: Don't be silly, it's just a town underwater.  
Waluigi:...El Dorado?  
Gary: That's a city of gold.  
Waluigi:...Machu Picchu?  
Luigi: Already exists and we know that.  
Waluigi:...Atlantis?  
Lucky: You already said Atlantis.  
Waluigi:...Pompeii?  
DK: Volcano.  
Waluigi:...GAWDDAMMIT, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?  
Gawd: I DON'T GIVE DAMNS FOR STUFF LIKE THAT!  
Yoshi: Hang on.

Yoshi flips a nearby switch, lowering the water level drastically.

Yoshi: Much better.  
Waluigi: Okay, so where are we?  
?: Why you're in none other than the underwater town of Wet-Dry World.  
Waluigi: Well, thanks Lucky!  
Lucky: Waluigi, I didn't say that.  
Waluigi: ...then...

The heroes turn to face none other than the unpopular unfortunate misfit of villainy that sucks, Unlucky.

Unlucky: Yes, it is...HEY!  
Aroramage: Will you just do your spiel so we can get this over with?  
Unlucky: I tell ya, no respect. Anyway, after the incident in Chapter 9 where you basically handed my ass to me, I stowed away on board the _Haunted_ to try and catch up with you. Little did I know what was to happen from all of that! So finally I escaped on your ship, hidden beneath the decks. After the Fire Sea incident, I followed in your footsteps to this world and was immediately sent down here, where I've been slowly planning on how to kill all of you.  
Yoshi:...that's it?  
Unlucky: Pretty much.  
Lucky: How did you survive down here?  
Unlucky: Uh, I breathed.  
Lucky: Breathed what, exactly?  
Unlucky: What do you mean?  
Lucky: Well, if you really are my opposite, then not only can't you breathe air, you can't breathe underwater either.  
Unlucky: Oh have some common sense! I'm not ENTIRELY opposite in EVERY aspect! That's just silly! Think of me more of as a dark counterpart really.  
Lucky:...you suck.  
Unlucky: Eggs?  
Lucky: No.  
Unlucky: Well, I would have been lonely, except I ran into these guys too.  
?: Behold our supreme power! Sandwichians, assemble!

Bread!  
Lettuce!  
Tomato!  
Mustard!  
Mayo!  
Oregano!

?: And I'm-  
Yoshi: We know who you losers are.  
Bacon: Hey! I'm in the middle of my big introduction, which has now been spoiled by your tainted words!  
Yoshi: Of course it has.  
Bread: Bacon, leader, sir, it appears that they are more powerful than before and have no fear of us.  
Bacon: Let it not concern you, Bread. For we have not only our newly forged alliance with Unlucky-  
Unlucky: Since about two minutes ago.  
Bacon: -but also we have included in our stack a fresh new member! Cheese!  
Waluigi: *high-pitched squeal*  
Bacon: Come on out, Cheese!

And from around the corner hulks a massive grotesque being. Forged together with parmesan legs, mozzarella muscles, pepper jack skin, cheddar fists, and a brain made entirely of brie, a giant monstrosity comes from around the corner smoking a limburger cigar, a heavy odor of foulness emerging from his moldy lungs and herve heart.

Cheese: Meh, see? We run the joint around here, pals!  
Yoshi: Oh holy hell they made a gangster...out of cheese.  
Gawd: I WASN'T MENTIONED, BUT DAMN, THAT'S A BEAST!  
Bacon: Feel the power of our ultimate and untimely wrath!  
Unlucky: And the renewed force of my streak of empowered misfortune!

BATTLE 1 START!

_Customers_  
Yoshi: 100 HP, 90 SP  
CC: 95 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 95 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 105 HP, 90 SP  
Mario: 100 HP, 90 SP  
Lucky: 85 HP, 100 SP  
Gary: 85 HP, 95 SP  
Luigi: 105 HP, 85 SP  
Ghoulman: 110 HP, 75 SP

_Waiter_  
Unlucky: 300 HP, 100 SP

_Lunch_  
Bacon: 25 HP, 0 SP  
Bread: 20 HP, 0 SP  
Lettuce: 20 HP, 0 SP  
Tomato: 20 HP, 0 SP  
Mustard: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Mayo: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Oregano: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Cheese: 50 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi charges up the Elemental Gauntlet! He charges Fiery Chaos! CC slashes at Cheese!

Bacon: That rabbit cut the Big Cheese!  
Everyone: Boooooo!

Cheese takes 4 dge! A Cheese Mobster grows from the sliced off bit of Cheese!

CC: Whaaaaat?  
Cheese: Meh, what'd I tell yas, hm? Meh, and stuff, see?

Waluigi whacks Unlucky with a tennis racket for 17 dge! DK punches Bacon for 7 dge!

DK: That's for the worst line ever said in this story ever!

Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at Bread! Bread takes 6 dge! Bread becomes toasted, boosting his defense! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Red Balloon charm to lift the heroes off the ground! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He spews out a fiery breath at Bacon, making him extra crispy and inflicting 12 dge! Luigi throws a Fireball for 2 SP at Unlucky! Unlucky takes 23 dge! Ghoulman sneaks up behind Oregano and startles it for 7 dge!

Unlucky throws Black Clover Shuriken at DK for 7 dge! Bacon sizzles and attacks Yoshi for 2 dge! Bread punches DK for 7 dge! Lettuce wraps itself around CC and strangles him for 3 dge! Tomato slices off part of himself and throws it, causing it to flop on Luigi for 2 dge!

Luigi:...that was pathetically gross...

Mustard spreads itself out on Gary for 3 dge! Mayo spreads itself out on Gary for 3 dge! Oregano breathes out a powerful odor on Ghoulman for 3 dge! Cheese-

Cheese: Ya knows what? Nah-ah. No more of this "Cheese" nonsense, see?  
Bacon: What? But we like calling you Cheese!  
Yoshi: What else would you want us to call you?  
Cheese: Meh, just call me by my hidden birthname: Al Quesillone.  
Yoshi:...really, mage?  
Aroramage: Let's face it, you saw this coming a long time before this update got posted.

Al Quesillone brings out a Jarlsberg bottle filled with molten Y Fenni "Red Dragon" cheese! He lights a match and molotov-cocktails the party with an explosive and strong-scented explosion that causes 17 dge! Cheese Mobster fires off cheddar bits at Waluigi for 3 dge!

_Customers_ *floating!*  
Yoshi: 81 HP, 90 SP (charging!)  
CC: 75 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 75 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 74 HP, 90 SP  
Mario: 83 HP, 87 SP  
Lucky: 68 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 62 HP, 91 SP  
Luigi: 86 HP, 83 SP  
Ghoulman: 90 HP, 75 SP

_Waiter_  
Unlucky: 260 HP, 100 SP

_Lunch  
_Bacon: 6 HP, 0 SP  
Bread: 14 HP, 0 SP (toasted!)  
Lettuce: 20 HP, 0 SP  
Tomato: 20 HP, 0 SP  
Mustard: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Mayo: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Oregano: 8 HP, 0 SP  
Al Quesillone: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Cheese Mobster: 5 HP, 0 SP

Gawd: OH MY SELF, FLOATING CUSTOMERS!

Yoshi fires the Gauntlet's Fiery Chaos like a flamethrower at Unlucky for 26 dge! CC chops Lettuce for 11 dge! Waluigi brings out his shiny rose!

Yoshi: What? Why are you pulling that thing out?  
Waluigi: I just came up with an idea that nobody thought to do before until I thought of it just now!

Waluigi sets the stem of the rose on fire! He throws the rose at Unlucky!

Unlucky: A flaming rose? What the deuce do you think you're thinking? Should I honestly be timid of a burning flower? I mean-

The fire reaches the main flower! The rose explodes! Unlucky takes 17 dge!

Unlucky: o.O Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  
Waluigi: The Rose Bomb! Or the Blossom Bomber! Or the Romantic Explosion! Or-  
Aroramage: I'LL THINK OF IT EVENTUALLY, YOU KNOW!

DK head-bonks Tomato for 12 dge! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at the Cheese Mobster! The Cheese Mobster takes 5 dge and melts away! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Unlucky for 12 dge! Gary head-bonks Lettuce for 4 dge! Luigi uses Flame Tornado for 3 SP! He encircles himself with flames by spinning around, hitting Mustard and Mayo for 7 dge each! Ghoulman uses 4 SP to summon three Pink Boos and floats higher into the air!

Unlucky uses Marghmollaw Pow-ah for 3 SP! He uses the Colt Sandal to increase his speed! Bacon calls for a Team Assembly!

Bacon: We must unite!

The members of Team Sandwich combine themselves to form a giant Sandwich!

Sandwich: We'll crush you!

Al Quesillone draws out a Weisslacker Gatling Gun and fires off rounds at the heroes, inflicting 7, 8, and 6 dge to them!

_Customers _*floating!*  
Yoshi: 60 HP, 90 SP  
CC: 54 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 54 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 53 HP, 90 SP  
Mario: 62 HP, 84 SP  
Lucky: 47 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 41 HP, 91 SP  
Luigi: 65 HP, 80 SP  
Ghoulman: 79 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_ *speedy*  
Unlucky: 222 HP, 97 SP

_Lunch  
_Sandwich: 68 HP, 0 SP (toasted!)  
Al Quesillone: 46 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi uses Egg Roll for 2 SP! He surrounds himself with an eggshell and charges at Sandwich, hitting him for 7 dge! CC uses Crimson Slash for 2 SP! A crimson aura surrounds his blade as he slashes at Sandwich with terrifying force! Sandwich takes a CRITICAL 34 dge! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket and whacks Unlucky for 17 dge! DK uses Banana Grove for 3 SP! He brings out tons of bananas and gives them to the team! All heroes recover 25 HP! Mario hits Unlucky with a Fire Punch for 2 SP! Unlucky takes 18 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Horseshoe charm to speed up the heroes! Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! He lets out a yell and hits Al Quesillone for 7 dge! Part of Al Quesillone falls off and forms a new Cheese Mobster! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Unlucky for 27 dge! Luigi uses Doppleganger for 3 SP! He creates an imperfect copy of himself that forms into Weegee! Weegee attacks Unlucky for 7+4+5 dge before being thrown off! Luigi throws a Fireball for 3 SP at the Cheese Mobster! The Cheese Mobster takes 5 dge and melts away! Ghoulman flies down and fires off the Pink Boos he gathered last turn at all opposing teams! Each takes 23, 16, and 9 dge respectively! Ghoulman sneaks behind Al Quesillone and startles him for 3 dge! Part of Al Quesillone falls off and forms a new Cheese Mobster!

Unlucky uses Marghmollaw Pow-ah for 3 SP! He uses the Torn Heart to trigger regeneration! Unlucky uses Marghmollaw Pow-ah for 3 SP! He uses the Scarlet Inflatable to levitate off the ground! Sandwich body-slams on Ghoulman! Ghoulman uses his Intangibility power to take no damage! Sandwich takes 3 recoil dge! Al Quesillone pulls out a gouda communicator!

Al Quesillone: All right boys, see? Bring out the saints!

The Cheese Mobster shoots cheddar bits at Mario for 2 dge! Unlucky recovers 15 HP!

_Customers _*floating!* *speedy!*  
Yoshi: 85 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 79 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 79 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 78 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 85 HP, 82 SP  
Lucky: 72 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 66 HP, 84 SP  
Luigi: 90 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 104 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_ *speedy* *floating* *regenerating*  
Unlucky: 121 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch  
_Sandwich: 8 HP, 0 SP (toasted!)  
Al Quesillone: 27 HP, 0 SP  
Cheese Mobster: 5 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi sets the Gauntlet to Frozen Demise! He fires the Gauntlet of Frozen Demise at Unlucky! Unlucky takes 12 dge! Yoshi fires the GFD at Unlucky! Unlucky takes 11 dge! CC slashes at Sandwich for 3 dge! CC slashes at Sandwich for 3 dge! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket and attacks Unlucky for 18 dge! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket and attacks Cheese Mobster for 5 dge! The Cheese Mobster melts away!

Yoshi: Man, these paragraphs are getting larger and larger!  
Aroramage: And just why are you pointing this out now?  
Yoshi: Eh, just one of those things to notice.  
Aroramage: If you have the ability to break the fourth wall, yes. You know what you shouldn't have? FOURTH-WALL BREAKING ABILITIES!  
Yoshi: You keep bringing that up as if it's going to go away.  
Aroramage: I wish it would!

DK punches Al Quesillone for 3 dge! Part of Al falls off to form a Cheese Mobster that DK punches at for 5 dge, causing it to melt! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at Al Quesillone! Al takes 9 dge and partially melts! Mario uses Fire Punch for 2 SP on Unlucky! Unlucky takes 13 dge! Unlucky gains a power boost due to his Unlucky ability!

Mario: His what?  
Unlucky: Fool! Anytime you get a 13 or a number divisible by 13 as damage to me, my power grows by an amount equal to the number of times the damage can be divided by 13! This can be used only on numbers divisible by 13 and thus there are no decimal powers or uneven numbers!  
Yoshi:...what?  
Unlucky: *sigh* An unlucky number gives Unlucky power. Get it?

Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Unlucky twice for 14 and 12 dge each!

Unlucky: Damn avoiding 13 maneuvers!

Gary bites Al Quesillone for 3 dge!

Gary: Mmmmm, cheesy!

Gary bites Al Quesillone again for 3 dge!

Al Quesillone: Meh! What's the meaning of dis, meh? Dis ain't right! Where are me saints?  
?: The holy entourage of reinforcement arrives dutifully for service!

Out of nowhere arrive a number of cheesemen!

Yoshi:...cheesemen? As in, men made out of cheese?  
Aroramage: Not just any cheese, mind you! They are each made from the cheese they are named for!

St. Killian, St. Brendabrie, St. Brigid, St. Gall, St. Kevinsrie, St. Killians, and St. Tola all arrive on the battlefield!

Killian: Al! Speak to me, Al! Oh Aristaeus, look at all the melted cheese!  
Brigid: So many good and edible cheeses, such needless melting shed upon the shores of a broken beach!  
Killians: Not since the tortilla-chipped menace has there been such terrifying melting of cheeses!  
Brendabrie: Never forget the jalapeños.  
Gall: To think there are such fiends in the world who would dare continue these travesties!  
Al Quesillone: Meh, let it not concern you boys, see? Jus' help me out, see?  
Tola: Absolutely, sir!

The Saints join the battle!

_Customers_ *floating!* *speedy!*  
Yoshi: 85 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 79 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 79 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 78 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 85 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 72 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 66 HP, 84 SP  
Luigi: 90 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 104 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter _*speedy* *floating* *regenerating*  
Unlucky: 41 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch_  
Sandwich: 2 HP, 0 SP (toasted!)  
Al Quesillone: 9 HP, 0 SP  
St. Killian: 10 HP, 5 SP  
St. Brendabrie: 10 HP, 5 SP  
St. Brigid: 10 HP, 5 SP  
St. Gall: 10 HP, 5 SP  
St. Kevinsrie: 10 HP, 5 SP  
St. Killians: 10 HP, 5 SP  
St. Tola: 10 HP, 5 SP

Luigi:...you know, I feel sorry for them. But first!

Luigi punches Sandwich twice for 2 dge! Sandwich is defeated!

Sandwich: ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHhhhhhhh...great, now we taste terrible! *explodes and flies off into the distance...again*

Ghoulman summons three Pink Boos for 2 SP! He chews them up and brings out a ghastly blade! He attacks St. Killian and St. Gall for 2 dge each!

Killian: Foolish demon of the underworld! Your feeble attacks cannot penetrate our sacred and holy barrier!  
Gall: Our sacred practices give us the upper hand against your foul and fiendish devilry!  
Ghoulman: WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM?

Unlucky uses 6 SP for Marghmollaw Pow-ah! He uses the Bowl of Silver to blind everyone on the field and the Azure Crescent to become invisible! Al Quesillone can't see and attacks Waluigi for 3 dge! The Saints use 1 SP each to restore their sight and Al Quesillone's! Unlucky regains 25 HP!

_Customers_ *floating!* *speedy!* (blinded!)  
Yoshi: 85 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 79 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 76 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 78 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 85 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 72 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 66 HP, 84 SP  
Luigi: 90 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 104 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_ *speedy* *floating* *regenerating* *invisible*  
Unlucky: 66 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch  
_Al Quesillone: 9 HP, 0 SP  
St. Killian: 8 HP, 4 SP  
St. Brendabrie: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Brigid: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Gall: 8 HP, 4 SP  
St. Kevinsrie: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Killians: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Tola: 10 HP, 4 SP

The heroes are blinded and don't attack!

Yoshi: Dammit, this sucks! I hate it when we can't see what goes on inside of a battle and stuff.  
CC: I always feel like I'm missing something!  
Lucky: Glad I didn't use the charm meself.  
Waluigi: Well, at least it can't get any-  
?: BLOOLALOOLADABLUEAGUASEALOOLA!

Out of freaking nowhere arrives a lobster!

Lobster: Blooloolooloolooloolooloo! Nyeh~?  
Yoshi: O_O WTF is this?  
Aroramage: Roulette option.  
Yoshi:...whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  
Waluigi: So wait, I had to wait until a whole other character appeared just to have my idea created, and not even until a couple of chapters later, mind you, but when it comes to these roulette options, which apparently are decided at random, you can get a freaking lobster? Instantly?  
Aroramage: Like I expect people to land on these things!  
Lobster: Bloola, bloolalalala! Blehblueblagualoo!  
Al Quesillone: Meh, wat's he saying, meh?  
Unlucky: I think he...wants to fight?  
Yoshi: HOW CAN YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S SAYING? HE'S A FREAKING LOBSTER! actually, let me rephrase that, HE'S A F***ING LOBSTER!  
Unlucky: How can you even see that it's a lobster? You're supposed to be blinded by my light!  
Yoshi: It's the voices.  
Waluigi: WAAAAAH! VOICES IN MY HEAD!  
Aroramage: Oh, stop it. You're not fooling anyone.  
Unlucky: Wow, I can't believe it! Schizophrenic heroes!  
Aroramage:...Unlucky doesn't count.  
Unlucky: Hey!

The lobster joins...the...other team? Or part of lunch? I don't know...

_Customers_ *floating!* *speedy!* (blinded!)  
Yoshi: 85 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 79 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 76 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 78 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 85 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 72 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 66 HP, 84 SP  
Luigi: 90 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 104 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_ *speedy* *floating* *regenerating* *invisible*  
Unlucky: 66 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch_  
Al Quesillone: 9 HP, 0 SP  
St. Killian: 8 HP, 4 SP  
St. Brendabrie: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Brigid: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Gall: 8 HP, 4 SP  
St. Kevinsrie: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Killians: 10 HP, 4 SP  
St. Tola: 10 HP, 4 SP  
Lobster: 15 HP, 0 SP

Unlucky waits quietly in the shadows!

Unlucky: Stalemates are very exciting!

Al Quesillone brings out a Spear of Skye Cheese! He stabs Unlucky with it for 17 dge!

Unlucky: Ow! What the hell, man?  
Al Quesillone: Meh, sorry, but you're invisible and I can't see you, see? No, see? No, I can't see, see? No, I-  
Unlucky: Alright, shut up, I get it!

The Saints each use 1 SP to gather all the melted cheese! They fuse the cheese back into Al Quesillone! Al Quesillone completely recovers! The lobster flails about! Nothing happens!

Al Quesillone: Meh, what're yous supposed to be? The Magikarp of our team?  
Yoshi: And there's the obligatory Pokemon reference!

Unlucky recovers 15 HP! The heroes and Unlucky are no longer floating!

_Customers_ *speedy!* (blinded!)  
Yoshi: 85 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 79 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 76 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 78 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 85 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 72 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 66 HP, 84 SP  
Luigi: 90 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 104 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_ *speedy* *regenerating* *invisible*  
Unlucky: 64 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch_  
Al Quesillone: 50 HP, 0 SP  
St. Killian: 8 HP, 3 SP  
St. Brendabrie: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Brigid: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Gall: 8 HP, 3 SP  
St. Kevinsrie: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Killians: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Tola: 10 HP, 3 SP  
Lobster: 15 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi sets the Gauntlet to Fiery Chaos! He throws a Fireball and luckily hits St. Killians! St. Killians takes 10 dge and melts away!

Killian: Killians! My brother in curdling! Noooo!  
Yoshi:...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear anything along those lines.

CC slices at the air twice! The other heroes don't attack!

CC: Wait, are you suggesting that they're cowards or that they have more sense than Yoshi and me?  
Yoshi: What's going on? And why can't I see you enough to punch you for that?

Unlucky hides away in darkness!

Unlucky: Fufufu...  
Yoshi: Is it just me or is there more dialogue in this particular section?  
Aroramage: Shuuuuuuut uuuuuuuup!

Al Quesillone brings out the Skye Spear and stabs Luigi for 12 dge! The Saints attack the heroes for 2 dge! The lobster flails and fails! Unlucky regenerates 12 HP! Unlucky no longer regenerates!

_Customers_ *speedy!* (blinded!)  
Yoshi: 83 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 77 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 74 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 76 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 83 HP, 77 SP  
Lucky: 70 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 64 HP, 84 SP  
Luigi: 76 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 102 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_ *speedy* *invisible*  
Unlucky: 76 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch_  
Al Quesillone: 50 HP, 0 SP  
St. Killian: 8 HP, 3 SP  
St. Brendabrie: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Brigid: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Gall: 8 HP, 3 SP  
St. Kevinsrie: 10 HP, 3 SP  
St. Tola: 10 HP, 3 SP  
Lobster: 15 HP, 0 SP

AN: It's the Halloween special update! Every time we mention anything relating to "death," "evil," "wicked," "fiend," or "fear," take a drink! Also, Heroes are no longer blind.

Yoshi fires the GFC at St. Kevinsrie! Kevinsrie takes 10 dge and is KO'd!

Killian: No! Not the fire that we fear (1) to death (2)!  
Tola: The wicked (3) and evil (4) fiend (5) that dares to prey on our fears (6) must be put to death (7)!  
Yoshi: You're already having too much fun with this, aren't you?  
Aroramage: DIE (8)!

Yoshi throws a fireball at Gall, dealing 10 dge and KO'ing him!

Waluigi: Wait, don't KO's count as deaths (9)?  
Aroramage: No, they count as "knocked out." That's why they're abbreviated like that.  
Yoshi: Wait, what's the point of this again?  
Aroramage: Just to get people tipsy and make them see pink elephants and purple rabbits and other oddly-colored animals of the world.  
Yoshi: People are going to hate you for this, aren't they?  
Waluigi: Won't they try and kill (10) you for this?  
Unlucky: Kinda like me?  
Gawd: OR ME?  
Aroramage: I am the author, master of the destiny of my creations, chooser of their fate. I am their past, their present, and their future. I am the god of whatever story I tell.  
Gawd: BLASPHEMY! BUT TRUE!  
Yoshi: Really?  
Aroramage: Eh, personally I find that wicked (11).

CC slashes at Lobster twice for 2 dge total! Waluigi whacks and brutally assaults St. Tola with his tennis racket for 10 dge, KO'ing him!

Waluigi: Are you sure I didn't kill (12) him?  
Aroramage: I sure hope I'm not killing (13) anyone out there! Remember, safety first!  
Waluigi: Even when drinking Sunny D and Rum?  
Aroramage: Especially when drinking Sunny D and Rum!

DK punches at St. Brigid twice and hits him for 12 dge total! St. Brigid is KO'd! Mario throws two Fireballs for 6 SP! He hits St. Brendabrie and the Lobster for 10 and 7 dge respectively! St. Brendabrie is KO'd!

Killian: No! My comrades have fallen! Al Quesillone, I have failed you!  
Al Quesillone: Meh, not really, see? I'm still here.  
Killian: Oh. Right. That's what we were summoned here for was to help you and stuff.  
Al Quesillone: Meh, see?

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 6 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover and the Blue Moon charms to make the heroes luckier and invisible! Gary uses Lightning Roar for 3 SP! He lets out an electrifying roar, hitting the Lobster for 7 dge! The Lobster is KO'd!

Lobster: !

Gary sautés the lobster and serves it on a silver platter! Luigi breaks out bibs and cooks the lobster! The heroes eat and recover 5 HP! Luigi hurls a Fireball for 3 SP at St. Killian! St. Killian takes 8 dge and is KO'd!

Killian: No! They've killed (14) me! Al Quesillone, I have-  
Al Quesillone: Already done dis diddy here, see?  
Killian: Oh. Right.  
Yoshi: Didn't they say the same thing not more than a few moments ago?  
Aroramage: SHUT UP. I'LL KILL (15) YOU.

Ghoulman finishes the round by striking Al Quesillone twice with the Ghost Blade! Al takes 18 dge total and summons 2 Cheese Mobsters!

Unlucky breathes out Unlucky Powder at the heroes! The heroes luckily dodge the attack!

Unlucky: Dammit!

Al Quesillone grabs the two Cheese Mobsters and devours them, absorbing them into himself and recovering 10 HP and gaining 5 SP!

Yoshi: Wait, he can do that?  
Gary: When did he get SP? They didn't have any, and he didn't start with any!  
Al Quesillone: Meh, I keep the Saints for more than their healing, see?

Al Quesillone reveals that he has absorbed the molten cheese of the saints into himself!

Yoshi: ...oh crap.  
Unlucky: And the best part is that no one can stop me either!

The heroes and Unlucky are no longer speedy! Unlucky is no longer invisible!

Unlucky: Oh...shit.

_Customers_ *lucky!* *invisible!*  
Yoshi: 88 HP, 88 SP  
CC: 82 HP, 85 SP  
Waluigi: 79 HP, 85 SP  
DK: 81 HP, 87 SP  
Mario: 88 HP, 71 SP  
Lucky: 75 HP, 97 SP  
Gary: 69 HP, 81 SP  
Luigi: 81 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 107 HP, 71 SP

_Waiter_  
Unlucky: 76 HP, 91 SP

_Lunch_  
Al Quesillone: 42 HP, 5 SP

Yoshi sets the Gauntlet to Frozen Demise! He fires the Gauntlet of Frozen Demise at Unlucky! Unlucky takes 17 dge and is frozen in place! CC slashes at Unlucky for 8 dge! Waluigi whacks Unlucky with his tennis racket for 19 dge! DK punches Unlucky for 24 dge! Mario throws a Fireball at Al Quesillone for 3 SP! Al takes 9 dge and makes a Cheese Mobster! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at the Cheese Mobster for 5 dge, KO'ing him! Gary uses Burner Breath on Al Quesillone for 4 SP! Al takes CRITICAL 23 dge and melts off a Cheese Mobster! Luigi throws a Fireball at the Cheese Mobster for 3 SP, dealing 5 dge and KO'ing him! Ghoulman slashes at Unlucky with his blade and deals 8 dge, KO'ing Unlucky!

Unlucky: Gawddammit all to hell!  
Gawd: AREN'T YOU ALREADY THERE?

Al Quesillone uses 5 SP!

Al Quesillone: Meh-heh-heh-heh! Dis is the end, see?  
Yoshi: Wait, what's he doing?  
Lucky: Something big and very very bad.

Al Quesillone uses Xynotyro Psyche-Nuke! He amplifies his brain waves to extreme magnitudes!

Waluigi: Oh shit, there's no way of dodging this attack!  
Gary: Who knew Team Sandwich had such a formidable ally in their ranks?  
Yoshi: Well, hopefully we'll survive.  
Aroramage:...uh, yeah, about that.  
Yoshi: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HE USED HIS MIND TO KILL (16) THE CITIZENS OF THIS UNDERWATER TOWN?  
Aroramage: Well, why else do you think he had no SP at the beginning?  
Yoshi: You set it up that way?  
Aroramage:...uh, something like that.  
Mario: Well, hopefully it's not the kind of unblockable attack that will instantly kill (17) us or anything. Besides, we're the heroes!  
Aroramage: Do the words "psyche" and "nuke" not mean anything to you?  
Waluigi: I know Xynotyro doesn't.  
Mario:...wait, he's gonna nuke our minds?  
Aroramage: Pretty much.  
Mario:...WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ATTACK IS THAT?  
Al Quesillone: Meh, stop that! Take this!

Al Quesillone amplifies his brain waves and directs the waves at the heroes!

Yoshi: Wait, where's he aiming?  
Mario: At us, stupid!  
Yoshi: But...we're invisible. He can't see us!  
CC: I thought psychic powers didn't require aiming.  
Yoshi: Then Pokemon came along and changed that, remember?  
CC:...oh yeah.  
Yoshi: Not to mention he has no idea where we a-

Yoshi is interrupted by an exploding building! Then another! And then more!

Yoshi:...it doesn't matter where he's aiming, does it?  
Waluigi: With brainwaves like that, who needs any fiends (18)?  
Gary: Waluigi, that doesn't even make any sense!  
Mario: He's your evil (19) counterpart.  
Luigi: Oh shut up, at least mine isn't some fatty!  
Mario: Oh you can go straight to-

And then another building much closer explodes!

Yoshi: Wait...this rubble...it's yellow...like...

Yoshi eats a rock!

Yoshi:...CHEESE?  
Waluigi: Our minds are gonna explode in a cheesy fashion? *rimshot*  
Yoshi: Remind me to kill (20) you later for that.  
CC: We're gonna die (21)!  
Al Quesillone: I told you to quit that!  
Gary: Wait, where's Ghoulman?

The heroes look and find that Ghoulman has begun devouring Al Quesillone!

Yoshi: Ghoulman, get out of there!  
Ghoulman: I. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. ANYMORE!  
Yoshi: What, Ghoulman? What is it?  
Ghoulman: EVER. SINCE. THIS. ALL. STARTED. I'VE. WANTED. TO. EAT. THIS. GUY. BECAUSE. HE'S. MADE. OUT. MY. FAVORITE. FOOD. CHEESE!  
Al Quesillone: Meh, no! Don't eat me alive! It's my greatest fear (22) in dying (23)!  
Ghoulman: MUST. OM-NOM-NOM. YOUR. FACE. OFF!

Ghoulman continues to eat away at Al Quesillone, who to no avail can shake the tiny ghost off, meanwhile leveling the city and luckily not the heroes! Finally, Ghoulman swallows up the head of Al Quesillone in one gulp with a final cry for help from the testouri tyrant!

END BATTLE!

Yoshi: My Grambi...that was the single most awesome way to beat the opposing team ever.  
Waluigi: And the most delicious!  
Ghoulman: I. FEEL. GREAT! AND. DIFFERENT!

Ghoulman's pale white body changes into a golden color!

Gary: Oh my Grambi! He's transformed into a Pallone di Gravina Boo!  
Yoshi:...a WHAT?  
Gary: It's a maturing golden Boo! I just wanted an excuse to make a cheese reference of my own.  
Yoshi:...MAGE?  
Aroramage: What? I liked it!  
Mario: Well, with that in mind, we can now-  
?: Not so fast!  
Yoshi: What the hell?

From out of nowhere appears...a tuna fish?

Tuna: Behold the glorious and mighty power of Poseidon, the Tuna of Team Sandwich!  
Yoshi: Uh, buddy? Your pals already blasted off and everything.  
Poseidon: What be this? You dare say that Team Sandwich has blasted off again, twinkle and all?  
CC: Verily, good sir. We hath sent them flying in that general direction ourselves.  
Poseidon: Oh, dearest and fairest me! I, Poseidon, Tuna of Team Sandwich, Surveyor of the Seven Sauces, must fly after my once-more fallen brethren in the effort of catching up to them once more! Perhaps thou canst help me in mine sacred quest?  
Yoshi:...eh, sure. Waluigi?  
Waluigi: With gusto.

Waluigi smacks a Bob-omb at Poseidon, which explodes and sends him flying!

Poseidon: I thanketh thee and shalt not forget thine kindness! *twinkle*  
Yoshi:...ten to one says he comes back.  
Mario: Nah, really?  
Ten2One: YAH RE- *punched by Mario*

And so our heroes set off to find the Power Stars once again, so that they may find them and return once more to the castle grounds and to feast away one the-

Yoshi: Found em.

...what, really?

Yoshi: Yeah, no surprise, really. The town's leveled.

Oh...right...

Yoshi: Admittedly, that was an interesting-

WE INTERRUPT THIS STORY TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN!

Yoshi: Gawddammit.  
Gawd: IT'S DAMNED!  
Kent: Hi, I'm Kent Gettanipryvacy!  
Ally: And I'm Alliwey Enurfacé!  
Kent: Tonight's top story involves the tragic death (24) of one of our most treasured gangsters, Al Quesillone, who was reported to have been eaten alive by a Boo.  
Ally: That's so depressing. He will be missed. In other news, deep in the ruins of Wet-Dry World is a fountain of melted cheese consisting of a great variety of cheeses! This legendary dip will surely become a fantasy world for nacho and cheese enthusiasts the world over!  
Kent: Boy, you said it!  
Ally: I know!  
Kent: And finally, there seems to be rumor of Team Sandwich flying through the air. Their latest flight: into a passing airplane! The fishy surveyor, Poseidon the Tuna, has rammed full on into Sky Koopa's 703 Koopa Cruiser, which is mainly used as a cargo plane. And get this: the cargo was people!  
Ally: It's Soylent Green all over again!  
Kent: You said it! And now we'll try not to bother you in your wonderful story this time as I now try to decapitate Ally here with a chainsaw while wearing a hockey mask!  
Ally: And I in turn with defend myself with a hat, a sweater, the power of dreams, and a glove with claws. Just perfect for my feminine wiles!  
Kent: Until hopefully never again, I'm Jason Kent!  
Ally: And I'm Freddy Ally!

And now back to our demented story!

Yoshi:...you done?

Yeah. Pretty much.

Yoshi: Good.  
Mario: So anyway, we've got all the Power Stars.  
Waluigi: And we've leveled yet another town of sorts!  
Yoshi: I don't think Whomp's Fortress really counts.  
CC: Not to mention we didn't even level either of those places.  
Waluigi:...*chucks a Bob-omb at a pile of rubble which promptly explodes*  
Yoshi: Waluigi!  
Waluigi: What?  
Mario: Well, the important thing is that after a long and grueling battle we have retrieved from their sacred altars the Power Stars of this area once again.  
Waluigi: You mean those stone pillars they were resting on weren't just for decoration?

Sure enough, seven piles of rubble constructed from ancient times can be seen scattered about the desolated town, indicating Waluigi's destructive tendencies.

Yoshi: Waluigi, those could have been booby-trapped!  
Waluigi: I know. I was kinda waiting for the plot twist where we have to fight some ungawdly behemoth or escape from a flooding room which wouldn't work unless it was lava, or even-  
?: Never fear, good citizens of Wet-Dry World!

Out of nowhere, a pink dinosaur appears!

Waluigi: Barney?  
Gary: That's a purple dinosaur, stupid.  
?: Darlings, I have returned to help you in redecorating this place!  
Yoshi: Oh Grambi...

Yes, that's right, after 13 chapters of not appearing or being hinted at once, Birdo finally makes her way to the scene!

Waluigi: Well, not quite what I had in mind, but retribution is what it is.  
Yoshi: Birdo?  
Birdo: Yoshi? What are you doing here?  
Yoshi: I could ask you the same thing!  
Birdo: Well...I suppose there's no real harm in saying anything. I know you wanted to visit the castle, but it's been days since I last saw you! After a while, I got tired and came to the castle myself, but the castle entrance was sealed shut! I talked with some rabbits I found in the garden and heard you got into the castle some time ago with one of their friends! I decided then to help them help me get into one of the high windows that apparently was broken in some sort of rainbow involved murder.  
Yoshi:...yeaaaahhh...  
Birdo: You know about that?  
Yoshi: That, and I don't even know how he came back from that.  
Birdo: Oh good to hear he's alive, whoever he is. Anyway, so we toiled away building a ladder to reach that high up, and after a few days we finally did it. Then I promptly climbed the ladder and into the window, but it seems it could only carry me as the rest of the ladder broke apart beneath the rabbits. I vowed I'd find you and their friend as soon as I could.  
CC: Glad to know they miss me somewhat.  
Yoshi: What was the ladder made of?  
Birdo: Bunny rabbits.  
Yoshi:...I'm going to assume the best of this and leave it.  
Birdo: What, you thought it was...oh. Oh, no no no! We didn't kill (25) anyone! They just got up on each other's shoulders and did it that way.

Meanwhile, at the castle grounds...

Rabbits are everywhere, wandering about. There are Dr. Rabbits and Nurse Rabbits checking up on Patient Rabbits. The grounds are in a panic!

Dr. Rabbit: Unbelievable! The idea of a ladder constructed of bunnies! It's unrabbit!  
Nurse Bunny: I know, but we still need to check on some of the critical ones who were stuck at the bottom of the ladder.  
Dr. Rabbit: I'm afraid there's no time for that. We must take our Hippocratic Oath and swear to it that we will kill the son of a bitch that recommended this!  
Nurse Bunny: I believe it was a girl.  
Dr. Rabbit: Oh.  
Nurse Bunny: A girl dinosaur.  
Dr. Rabbit: Oh...  
Nurse Bunny: And we can't kill based on the Hippocratic Oath.  
Dr. Rabbit:...ohhhh...well, forget the sailing off to the plot idea.  
Aroramage: Ahhh...

Meanwhile, back at the plot under the sea...

Birdo: Anyway, so after I climbed in the window, I began looking about the castle and didn't really find anything except for these paintings.  
Yoshi: So you climbed to the third floor here?  
Birdo: Something like that. Then, as I was admiring a drawing of a spider on water, I was pushed into the picture!  
Yoshi: Pushed?  
Birdo: Yeah! I sure wish I knew who did that. Maybe a Koopa or something. So yeah, after I fell into the painting, I arrived here with all this water, so I decided to go exploring! That's when I found this quaint little town down here. Nobody was around, so I decided to go back to the surface and find some groceries.  
Yoshi: There wasn't a grocery store up there!  
Birdo: Oh? Then where did I get these?

Birdo indicates the bags of groceries she's holding.

Yoshi:...a grocery store that doesn't exist?  
Birdo: Brilliant. And next you'll be telling me there's some all-powerful entity controlling everything we do and say as if we're apart of some fanatical story.  
Aroramage: It's like they all know I'm here or something. I didn't think the sign was that big. *drinks out of "Self-Proclaimed World's Best Author" mug while pointing to sign on wall*  
Sign: *points toward aroramage* All-Powerful Entity who Controls Everything Done and Said in Some Fanatical Story  
Waluigi: Don't be silly, that only happens in...whoa, I believe I'm experiencing an existential crisis.  
Birdo: Anyway, now that I'm here and the town's decimated, and now that you're here, why don't you help me with dinner?  
Yoshi: But we don't have any pots, pans, plates, or pilverware...I mean silverware.  
Birdo: And where do you think I got these?

Birdo pulls out pots, pans, plates, and pilverware...I mean silverware.

Yoshi:...okay, I'll help.  
Birdo: Yay!

And so now our heroes help set up the dinner table so that they may eat and be filled by the bountiful harvest of whatever Birdo bought from the grocery store that doesn't exist. And so ends the merry chapter of Wet-Dry World. With 7 new Power Stars in their collection, who knows what will happen next?

Birdo: Hey, can I join you guys?  
Yoshi: Hell no!  
Birdo: WHAT?  
Yoshi: I mean, of course!

...

...

"Well, well, welly, well, well, what have we here."  
"It's about time you showed."

A dark and dusky room with a single table in the midst of it. Ancient decor fills the space along the walls and floors, and within a chair is Mr. L, tinkering with a part of his Brobot L-Force as the molting molten Krillen lumbers into his own seat on the other side of the table.

KR: I suppose this is all you've been up to?  
Mr. L: And I see you've been doing better.  
KR: Fine, so I lost a gauntlet and a key. I still retain ownership of my Power Stars!  
Mr. L: Apparently, seeing as they've helped you cheat your way through death once more.  
KR: Don't be jealous. After all, we're villains! It's in our very nature to be persistent.

A clock chimes in the hour - twelve lonely gongs ringing loudly through the small room. At the end of the echoing twelfth, Krillen shakes his head.

KR: I swear, I don't think I'll ever understand his taste in these outdated inventions.  
Mr. L: It's not our place to question his "tastes," as you so put it. We're here to serve.  
KR: Oh, sure, you say that. I've gotten the feeling you want more than just what he wants.

Mr. L places his tools down and looks straight into Krillen's face, half of it still intact while the other has very clearly rotted off, the only normality to its abnormality being the monocle.

Mr. L: I don't have the foggiest notion of what you mean.  
KR: Come now, he's liberated you from your own mental prison, and you expect him to keep you unbound and free? I know you've thought about this. After all, he won't say who he is.  
Mr. L: I owe him my life, thus I see no reason to inquire into his past. Who he is is none of my concern.  
KR: A servant for life, that's all you'll ever be, isn't it, Mr. L? Slave for eternity.  
Mr. L: And what's your motivation for being with him? It's obvious that you won't hand over the Stars you wield.  
KR: I told you, we compromised. I wanted my fair share of research upon these Stars, and in return I help him out whenever he needs me. You've seen how some of his associates fail.  
Mr. L: Excluding or including us?  
KR: Obviously excluding us. That reborn pharaoh thing went back into hiding, as I heard, and we've not seen anything of Cackletta since the incident at Big Boo's Haunt.  
Mr. L: I'm confident that someone will be bound to return to our ranks.  
KR: And what about that Anti-Lucky fellow, eh?  
Mr. L: You mean, "Unlucky." Honestly, he's like you, coming out of the blue and becoming a new villain out of nowhere.  
KR: So not really a threat at all?  
Mr. L: I find that to be unlikely.

Krillen snickers as the door opens up, revealing the robes of the mysterious and mystifying anonymous ?.

?: Gentlemen.  
Mr. L: Master. *bows gracefully*  
KR: My liege. *mimics Mr. L's bow*  
?: I hope the day finds you well.  
Mr. L: There hasn't been a disturbance that I'm aware of since those within the seas, which as I recall Mr. Roostenheimer seems to have failed at.  
KR: Trivial concerns. I wouldn't have even needed to do anything provided you succeeded in the first place.  
?: In any case, it does not matter. The Stars are being retrieved one way or another. What's the progress on the weapon?  
Mr. L: Better. I plan on testing it once I get the basic kinks worked out. Then I should be ready to apply the power source.  
?: Excellent. And the prisoner?  
KR: Restrained, for once.  
?: Better than not, I suppose. That takes care of this assembly. Mr. L, you may proceed to work on the weapon. Krillen, continue guarding the prisoner.  
KR: And what will you do?  
?: Continue working. Dismissed.

And with that, ? leaves the room as swiftly as he came in.

KR: *pfft* Nothing much to a guy in a robe, is he?

Mr. L has already scuttled away with Brobot L-Force, leaving Krillen by himself.

KR: Loyal servant indeed.

...

...

? walks down a long corridor, arriving at a splendid silver door. He produces a shining silver key and inserts it into the lock. The door opens up revealing a magnificent room, filled with various vanities and cabinets of perfumes. The room is colored more optimistically, a blinding array of pinks and oranges that force ? to shadow his eyes for a moment to adjust. When he has adjusted, he proceeds to a simple table for tea, with two lovely women shackled to their respective sides sipping tea at the table.

?: Evening ladies.  
Princess1: As always.  
Princess2: So, you decided to let us out yet?  
?: Obviously not. Unlike more classic villains, I actually need you as part of my plan, Princess Daisy.  
Daisy: Humph. Well, can you loosen the chain a little? I'm having a hard time moving around this place as is!  
?: You know I can't do that anymore than I can let you wander freely. I've given you both enough living space to dwell in and enough food and drink to nourish yourselves.  
Peach: And just what do you want with us anyway?  
?: I know you two have a lot of questions for me. You've probably had them since I first had Bowser kidnap the two of you. I'm sure you knew that he was the best option for it.  
Daisy: We could easily agree to that. I'd just like to agree with a few other things around here.  
?: Patience, Daisy, patience. You and Peach here are in the same barrel, and honestly, I wish I'd gotten to the two of you sooner, but as you can understand, I've been neglectful towards anything not immediately related to my work.  
Peach: And something's come up in that regard?  
?: Yes. Now that the Mario Brothers elder and younger are free-  
Daisy: Told ya he'd get out!  
?: Now that they're out, I have just cause to tell you anything you need to know.  
Peach: And why will you tell us?  
?: For the same reason I told my last prisoner, essentially that there is nothing you can do to stop me. And again, unlike classical villains, I've leant myself some room to account for errors. I know that, unlike the two of you, my last prisoner will probably escape sooner or later just as the two before him have done, and eventually when the lot of them reach me, I'll still have the upper hand as no one, especially not that buffoon, will have any idea what's in store for them. The two of you, being my permanent prisoners for the duration of what is to come, will be of no use to them either, so I feel I can freely tell you the entirety of the truth.  
Daisy: Well then tell us! I'd like to know what's going on!  
Peach: I guess I'll listen. I don't have much else to do.  
Daisy: So what's first?  
?: I think the best place to start off is with my name...

...

...

(Aug 18, 2010 - Oct. 31, 2010)


	15. Ch 14: I'm Dreaming of Snowman's Land

Ladies and gents, I give you the long-awaited chapter!

* * *

Chapter 14: I'm Dreaming of Snowman's Land

Our heroes return victorious once more over the forces of evil and are one step closer to obtaining everlasting world peace and winning the Nobel Peace Prize for solving the problems of the modern day world.

...that, or they just got some Stars and stuff. What a special way to go through life, eh?

Anyway, our heroes have returned to the castle once more, and they're now wandering about the castle halls, looking around at the various portraits and such to make their decision of where they'll go next in their never-ending search to obtain the Power Stars, defeat the forces of evil, I think I've mentioned this before or something, shoop-da-whoop-and-stuff, dawg, and carrot top.

Yoshi: Should we try this portrait?  
Mario: I think that one's just a smaller version of something downstairs.  
Luigi: I don't know what we've done before the Big Boo's Haunt area. After all, I was trapped.  
Birdo: Oh, I could sure use some ice cream to finish off that big feast we had in the underseas town.  
Waluigi: I'VE GOT IT! SNO-CONES!

...

Yoshi: Sno-cones? Really?  
Waluigi: They're brilliant!  
Birdo: That sounds...perfect!  
CC: Oh great. I think we'll be headed towards some cold, wet area.  
DK: Didn't we just get out of a wet area?  
Lucky: I sure hope we get to some warm area soon enough. Otherwise, I'm going to need a Fire Charm of some kind. And I don't have that in the cereal.  
Ghoulman: STILL. CRAVE. CHEESE!  
Lucky: That's all you've done since you ate Al Quesillone! Can't you just control your urges for a moment?  
Waluigi: *echo voice* Innuendo...  
Yoshi:...oh Gawddammit, Waluigi!  
Gawd: I HATE MY JOB!  
Gary: Hey, let's check this room out!

The heroes enter through a doorway and find themselves in a large room. In front of them is a small set of stairs, and on the opposing a large mirror reflects the heroes image back to them. There are some pillars with decorative items on top as if they belonged in a museum. A nearby sign reads, "Brought Back by Indiana Jones."

Yoshi: Couldn't help but make that reference, could you?  
Aroramage: Not in the least.  
Waluigi: So what's so special about this room?  
Mario: If I remember right, the portal in this room should be like the sand land's, in that it's a wall.  
Waluigi: Another wall?  
Luigi: You know, I can't help but wonder about that mirror too. I mean, I always knew it was there and stuff, but something about it gives me a sort of...tingly feeling. Like I want to walk through it and mess with the alternate dimension on the other side.

The other heroes simply stare at Luigi.

Mario: You feeling okay, bro?  
Luigi: Perfectly healthy. Why do you ask?  
Waluigi: You're acting weirding than me. And that's saying something!  
Gary: Yeah, you sure you don't want me to look up some kind of counter-curse or something?  
Luigi: Look, guys, I'm fine. I just had a funny feeling, that's all.  
Waluigi:...a funny feeling of EVIL!  
Luigi: What, no! You guys know I'm not evil! I don't have much left. Except for abandonment issues for the Haunt.  
Waluigi:...abandonment issues of EVIL!  
Yoshi: Knock it off guys. We've got bigger fish to fry.  
Birdo: I thought we were looking for sno-cones.  
Ghoulman: CAN'T. WE. EAT. SOME. CHEESE?  
Lucky: Eff off and don't be annoying me!

Our heroes look about the walls and find a completely blank space. How bout that for convenience?

Yoshi: I'm assuming this means what I think it means.  
Waluigi: Like it would ever do that.  
Mario: Let's-a go!

And so the dashingly handsome Han So-I mean, heroes, jump through the amazingly dull and colorless wall into a world not as dull or as colorless. Although it depends on your perception of the color "white."

Upon entering the world, the party falls down into a huge bank of deep snow.

Yoshi: WHY MUST IT BE SO COLD?  
Gary: Well, this is a snowy land.  
Birdo: Hooray! My sno-cones will be simply perfect now that I can make them with real snow!  
Yoshi: You do realize sno-cones aren't actually made from snow, right?  
Waluigi: Hey Yoshi. Don't eat the yellow snow!  
Yoshi: I swear I may have to kill you when all of this is over.  
Waluigi: What? It's banana-flavored! Tastes something awful, really.  
Yoshi: Ugh...

Meanwhile, in a place not so far away…

There are several Goombas surrounding a campfire. They have various caps, one for each of the heroes. There's one for Mario and Luigi and Waluigi and Yoshi and DK and Lucky and the Crimson Crusader and even for Ghoulman.

Mario Cap Goomba: Brr...it's cold.  
Luigi Cap Goomba: Well, at least we have this fire.  
DK Cap Goomba: I wonder where those guys that Lord Bowser said would show up are?  
Waluigi Cap Goomba: They're bound to be here soon.  
CC Cap Goomba: Well, while we're waiting, let's sing a campfire song!  
Other Goombas: NO!  
CCCG: What? Why? What's wrong with that song?

_Flashback_

The Goombas are huddled around a TV set. A show comes on.

Announcer: And now, back to more of SpongeBowser!  
SB: Let's sing a campfire song!

SpongeBowser pulls out a guitar. Yes, SpongeBowser is Bowser in a Spongebob outfit.

SB: *plays guitar and sings*  
_Let's gather round the campfire  
__And sing our campfire song!  
__Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E  
__S-O-N-G song!  
__And if you can't think that we can do it  
__Faster, than you're wrong,  
__But it'll help if  
__You just sing  
__A-long!_

Kamek chimes in behind a Koopa dressed as Mario.

Kamek: _Bum, bum, BUUMMMM!  
_SB: *singing much faster than before*  
_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!  
__C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!  
__Kamek!  
_Kamek: *struggling* _..song! C-A-M-P-S-O-N-  
_SB: Mario!

The Mario-Koopa sits and does nothing.

SB: Good! *goes into finale*  
_It-ll heeellllp!  
_*Kamek plays drums*  
_It-ll heeelllp,  
__If you just sing aloooooooooooooooong!_

SpongeBowser crashes through drum set.

SB: OH YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

SpongeBowser and Kamek walk to "Mario".

SB: Wasn't that calm and relaxing?

In the meanwhile, watching the television, the Goombas are on the floor, paralyzed in shock and fear.

_End Flashback_

The Goombas shudder.

CCCG: Alright, fair enough.  
Yoshi Cap Goomba: Yeah, no more flashbacks like that ever again.  
Aroramage: Agreeing with Yoshi Cap Goomba, I'll probably never do that again. Or will I? Ooooohhh...

Back to the scene, where the heroes hide behind the bushes, watching this unusual spectacle.

Yoshi: I thought caps were supposed to be rare, and where did they get a Yoshi Cap?  
Mario: Both are very good questions.

...

Yoshi: And the answer is?  
Mario: I have no idea.

The leaves of the bush rustle a little bit.

YCG:Wait... I hear something!

The Cap Goomba Squad turns around and sees the group in the bushes, who have lost their leaves rather quickly due to it being winter...and snowy...and cold.

WCG: Urk!  
CC Cap Goomba: Oh no!  
MCG: Cap Goombas, attack!  
Mario: Great…  
Luigi: Here we go again…

BATTLE START!

Heroes  
Yoshi: 110 HP, 100 SP  
CC: 105 HP, 95 SP  
Waluigi: 105 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 115 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 110 HP, 100 SP  
Lucky: 95, 110 SP  
Gary: 95, 105 SP  
Luigi: 115 HP, 95 SP  
Ghoulman: 120 HP, 85 SP  
Birdo: 110 HP, 100 SP

Cap Goomba Squad  
Yoshi Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
CC Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Waluigi Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
DK Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Mario Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Lucky Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Gary Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Luigi Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Ghoulman Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Birdo Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: Okay, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.  
Mario: The fact that they all have some kind of cap for each one of us, or that we're fighting them?  
Yoshi: Both.

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Fiery Chaos! CC attacks Yoshi Cap Goomba for 7 dge! Waluigi brings out a tennis racket and whacks DK Cap Goomba for 7 dge! DK punches CC Cap Goomba for 14 dge! Mario punches Lucky Cap Goomba for 6 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover to increase the heroes' luck! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Luigi Cap Goomba for 13 dge! Luigi uses Fire Punch for 2 SP! He punches Waluigi Cap Goomba for 8 dge! Ghoulman sneaks behind Birdo Cap Goomba and scares him for 6 dge! Birdo uses Egg Roll for 2 SP! She encases herself in an egg and runs over Gary Cap Goomba for 9 dge! All Caped Goombas that took damage lose their caps this turn!

YCG: Oh crap!  
CCCG: Quick, grab the caps!

The Cap Goombas retrieve their hats! Mario Cap Goomba uses his cap's power to transform into Mario!

Mario: Whoa.  
Yoshi: Trippy.  
Waluigi: I'M SEEING DOUBLE MARIOS ALL THE WAY!

Heroes *increased luck!*  
Yoshi: 110 HP, 100 SP (charging!)  
CC: 105 HP, 95 SP  
Waluigi: 105 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 115 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 110 HP, 100 SP  
Lucky: 95, 107 SP  
Gary: 95, 101 SP  
Luigi: 115 HP, 93 SP  
Ghoulman: 120 HP, 85 SP  
Birdo: 110 HP, 98 SP

Cap Goomba Squad  
Yoshi Cap: 43 HP, 0 SP  
CC Cap: 36 HP, 0 SP  
Waluigi Cap: 42 HP, 0 SP  
DK Cap: 43 HP, 0 SP  
Mario Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP (disguised as Mario!)  
Lucky Cap: 44 HP, 0 SP  
Gary Cap: 41 HP, 0 SP  
Luigi Cap: 37 HP, 0 SP  
Ghoulman Cap: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Birdo Cap: 44 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi throws a Fireball at Mario! Luckily, it's Mario Cap Goomba, who takes 12 dge! CC slashes at Luigi Cap Goomba for 8 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb hitting the enemy for 4 dge! DK and Gary use up 6 SP each! DK summons up two giant barrels as Gary performs a chant! Gary is loaded into a barrel! DK blasts the barrels at the Cap Goomba Squad, firing multiple Garys at them! Each Goomba takes 18 dge each!

YCG: Whoa whoa whoa! Time out, time out!

BATTLE 1...paused?

Yoshi: What the hell, man? You can't just pause the battle!  
YCG: Sure I can! There's nothing against it!  
Yoshi: And what, we're just supposed to stand here and watch you guys recover or run away or something?  
YCG: Well...that would be nice.  
Yoshi: No! We don't do that! That's not our thing!  
Waluigi: I don't know. I mean they seem pretty reasonable.  
Yoshi: Waluigi, they were no more than a moment ago trying to beat the crap out of us.  
YCG: Again, it'd be nice for PAUSING!  
Waluigi:...I still think we should let them.  
Yoshi: WE'RE NOT BLOODY LETTING THEM!  
Lucky: My Irish senses are-a tingling, laddie!  
Gary: And apparently the Scottish ones too!  
MCG: Look, hear us out! We don't want to fight you!  
Yoshi:...you don't?  
WCG: Nah! We were just really really bored and stuff.  
YCG: Look, the truth is that yes, we were sent here to forestall your journey as per Bowser's orders from a strange, mysterious, and very aloof higher authority whose name even we don't know. Recently, though, we've noticed a change in the "aligned weather" if you know what I mean.  
Yoshi: The what?  
YCG: The aligned weather. You could say a thunderstorm came about recently that has led to certain dubious activities locally.  
Mario: By who?  
DKCG: We don't know, actually.  
LkCG: The fact o' the matter is that there's just some really bad mojo around this part of the worlds, and we haven't been very comfortable ever since it arrived.  
Yoshi: So let me get this straight. You wanted to pause the battle so that you could explain to us an intuitional and instinctive feeling that has been nagging you for quite some time now in order to communicate some kind of foreboding, ominous, or even dangerous-to-ignore foreshadowing?  
YCG: Something like that.  
Yoshi: And you want us to believe that?  
YCG: Implicitly.  
Yoshi:...I don't think you grasp the concept of "bad guy's minions" very well, do you?  
YCG: Whatchu talking bout, buddy?  
Gary: What he means is that we can't just believe you based on word of mouth. We need some solid proof - evidence, if you will - of the evil in question being present.  
YCG: You did notice the swirling thunderous clouds of darkness, yes?

The heroes look up at the ominous grey clouds.

Yoshi: Okay, I give you that.  
YCG: Maybe even the occasional-

Suddenly, a fierce wind blows through! Everyone pauses to shield their eyes! The wind ends.

YCG:...fierce gusts of chilling wind?  
Yoshi: Only now that it's conveniently come up.

At that point, maniacal laughter can be heard echoing off the walls.

YCG: And did I mention-  
Yoshi: No, but I think I get the picture, THERE'S EVIL AFOOT!  
YCG: Something like that.  
?: Hello, heroes.

Off to the side, a shadowy colossus appears!

Waluigi: NO! NOT A COLOSSUS LIKE THOSE FROM THOSE GAMES BASED ON GREEK MYTHOLOGY!

...

Luigi:...uh, God of War trilogy?  
Waluigi: Never heard of them.  
Luigi: Shadow of the Colossus?  
Waluigi: Nope.  
Luigi: *sigh* Hello Kitty's Greek Mythology Adventure Time?  
Waluigi: OH GRAMBI, WHY?  
Grambi: I'm kinda with Gawd on this one, fellas.  
Gawd: AND I AM MAD!  
Yoshi: Wait a minute, there's no Hello Kitty video ga-  
Luigi: Just wait, a few years down the road, it'll happen.  
?: Greetings and bienvenue.

The silhouettes are lit up, revealing a pale man wearing a cape, a giant and rather - dare I say it - abominable snowman, and a floating alternate-colored Mesprit.

Yoshi: Wait, like a shiny?

No, alternate-colored Mesprit.

ACM: *politely* Please, call me by my real name, Mesprit/Shroob.  
Yoshi: Wait, where have we heard that strange use of a name before...

...

Waluigi: SWEET ILLEGITIMATE SON OF GRAMBI!  
Grambi: Funny, I don't recall having a son of any kind. What about you, Gawd?  
Gawd: I ONLY HAVE ONE SON OUT ON SERIOUS BUSINESS AT THE MOMENT!

Meanwhile, a mysterious ways away...

Geezus: Hmm, I can't help but wonder if my Father is upset as per usual.

And now that that tangent's out of the way!

Yoshi: Wait, so you're another user?  
Mesprit/Shroob: *calm* Precisely. And I've teamed up the Abominable Snowman and the classic Yeti to defeat you and protect my stars.  
Yeti: Please, call me V.V. Argost.  
Yoshi: Wait...V.V. Argost? As in, Weird World's V.V. Argost? V.V. Argost who tried to take over the world?  
Argost: There wouldn't be a problem in that, would there?  
Yoshi: Well, no, except for continuity. Seriously, didn't you get sucked up into a contradicting matter-anti-matter wormhole of black hole crushing death or something?  
CC: I thought it was the fact that matter and anti-matter couldn't exist in his body at the same time so it consumed him.  
Waluigi: I thought he asploded.  
Argost: Actually, contrary to popular belief, I was actually sucked up into another dimension - your dimension, to be precise - and simply made the best of my time here.  
Yoshi: Ah...yes, that would make sense, if you weren't already DEAD!  
Mesprit/Shroob: *angrily* ENOUGH CHIT-CHAT! We are here to crush you and send your bodies into oblivion in order to satisfy our dark masters!  
Yoshi: Wait, you work for He-Whose-Name-Is-Unknown?  
Mesprit/Shroob: *confused* What? I don't understand. What do you mean "work for"? And who's "He-Whose-Name-Is-Unknown"?  
Yoshi:...uh, you feeling okay?  
Mesprit/Shroob: *happily* Absolutely chipper! Why wouldn't I be?  
Mario: *whispering* Psst! Yoshi!

The other heroes have huddled into a group and are whispering amongst themselves. Yoshi joins the group.

Mario: I think it's because he's a Mesprit.  
Yoshi: What?  
Gary: Mesprit, a Pokemon created to represent all of human emotion. He's probably being subjected to the immense emotional power of Mesprit's...erm, power.  
Yoshi: Kinda like that Toad back in Chapter 8, only...  
Waluigi: With more emotions and god-like powers.  
Luigi: And Shroobishness, apparently. Just based on the color scheme.

The heroes look back at Mesprit/Shroob, who is now talking with Argost in what appears to be an engaging debate. Something about ballet and turkeys or something like that.

Mario: Yeah, there are some similarities with the Shroobs. The circles being blue, the purple hue, the aura of...Shroobishness.  
Yoshi: Okay, a Shroobified Mesprit. What's that supposed to mean, anyhow?  
Gary: As near as I can tell, he's just...different.  
Yoshi: Huh?  
Gary: Yeah, I got nothing.  
Mario: Look, all it means is that he may have Shroob powers and stuff, and that may mean-  
?: A-hem.

The heroes look over to find a black Shroob riding the Abominable Snowman where Mesprit/Shroob was.

?: Are we getting this battle underway or what?  
Yoshi: Who the hell are you?  
?: PrinceShroob, of course! I introduced myself like five minutes ago.

...

Yoshi: Mage?  
Aroramage: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?  
Yoshi: Is this the same user?  
Aroramage: Ah-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!  
Yoshi: Then why's he all different?  
Aroramage: Ah-ye...oh. Well, you know, users get to pick their avatars. He was just specific.  
Waluigi: Who the other one?  
Aroramage: Just another side of his award-winning personality manifested into another being entirely?  
Yoshi:...what?  
Aroramage: He's two different people.  
Yoshi: Oh...what?  
Aroramage: It's...uh, it's complicated.  
Yoshi:...okaaaaaaaaaay...  
PrinceShroob: Well then, time to fight!

BATTLE 1 RE-START!

Heroes *increased luck!*  
Yoshi: 110 HP, 100 SP  
CC: 105 HP, 95 SP  
Waluigi: 105 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 115 HP, 94 SP  
Mario: 110 HP, 100 SP  
Lucky: 95, 107 SP  
Gary: 95, 95 SP  
Luigi: 115 HP, 93 SP  
Ghoulman: 120 HP, 85 SP  
Birdo: 110 HP, 98 SP

Cap Goomba Squad  
Yoshi Cap: 21 HP, 0 SP  
CC Cap: 14 HP, 0 SP  
Waluigi Cap: 20 HP, 0 SP  
DK Cap: 21 HP, 0 SP  
Mario Cap: 16 HP, 0 SP  
Lucky Cap: 14 HP, 0 SP  
Gary Cap: 19 HP, 0 SP  
Luigi Cap: 15 HP, 0 SP  
Ghoulman Cap: 28 HP, 0 SP  
Birdo Cap: 22 HP, 0 SP

Stars and Snows  
PrinceShroob: 300 HP, 100 SP  
Abominable Snowman (ASM): 150 HP, 50 SP  
V.V. Argost: 100 HP, 50 SP

Yoshi: Wait, the cap Goombas are back in it?  
YCG: Well, technically speaking, we never left.  
Yoshi: Oh...right...forgot about that.  
ASM: Blargh!

Mario throws a Fireball at the Abominable Snowman for 3 SP! The Abominable Snowman takes CRITICAL 37 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Shooting Star charm to boost the SP of the heroes by 10! Luigi throws a Fireball at Argost for 3 SP! Argost takes 13 dge! Ghoulman summons three Pink Boos for 3 SP! He chews them up and spits them out at Ghoulman Cap, Yoshi Cap, and Birdo Cap for 9 dge each! Birdo sucks in air and blasts out an egg for 3 SP! She hits PrinceShroob for 18 dge!

Birdo: How do you like your Egg Cannons, scrambled or sunny-side-up?  
Yoshi: She hasn't even been on the team for that long, and already we're influencing her!  
Waluigi: I prefer mine poached, ya know.

The Cap Goombas go and retrieve their caps!

PrinceShroob: Is that all you guys will do?  
YCG: It's the only way to survive!  
PrinceShroob:...

PrinceShroob brings out a laser gun and blasts Yoshi Cap and Birdo Cap Goomba for 14 dge each! The two Cap Goombas are defeated!

YCG: But I'm the undisputed leader of the group! Just like him!  
Yoshi: Naw, I'm just the one who's been here the longest.

The Abominable Snowman throws a snowball at DK Cap Goomba for 18 dge! Argost releases an insect swarm inflicting 3 dge to every opposing team! DK Cap Goomba is defeated!

Heroes *increased luck!*  
Yoshi: 107 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 102 HP, 105 SP  
Waluigi: 102 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 112 HP, 104 SP  
Mario: 107 HP, 107 SP  
Lucky: 92, 114 SP  
Gary: 92, 105 SP  
Luigi: 112 HP, 100 SP  
Ghoulman: 117 HP, 92 SP  
Birdo: 107 HP, 105 SP

Cap Goomba Squad  
CC Cap: 11 HP, 0 SP  
Waluigi Cap: 17 HP, 0 SP  
Mario Cap: 13 HP, 0 SP  
Lucky Cap: 11 HP, 0 SP  
Gary Cap: 16 HP, 0 SP  
Luigi Cap: 12 HP, 0 SP  
Ghoulman Cap: 16 HP, 0 SP

Stars and Snows  
PrinceShroob: 282 HP, 100 SP  
Abominable Snowman (ASM): 113 HP, 50 SP  
V.V. Argost: 87 HP, 50 SP

Yoshi uses the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos on PrinceShroob! PrinceShroob takes 2 dge! CC attacks Argost for 7 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the Cap Goombas for 6 dge! DK punches CC Cap Goomba for 8 dge KO'ing him! Mario punches Lucky Cap Goomba for 6 dge, KO'ing him! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at the Abominable Snowman for 9 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates the Abominable Snowman for CRITICAL 45 dge! Luigi uses Fireball for 3 SP! He chucks a fireball at Luigi Cap Goomba for 6 dge, KO'ing him!

MCG: Man, we're getting blown away! Literally!  
WCG: I don't think we stand much more of a chance!

Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 3 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, and spitsthem out at Waluigi Cap, Gary Cap, and Ghoulman Cap Goombas for 11 dge each, KO'ing them!

MCG:...I WANT MY MOMMY!  
Birdo: It's okay, momma's here!

Birdo ground-pounds Mario Cap Goomba for 8 dge, KO'ing him!

MCG: Death comes swiftly to the lowly masses! *twinkle*  
Yoshi: There's a word that comes to mind with this.  
Mario: Bad?  
Lucky: Terrible?  
Gary: Weird?  
Waluigi: Wrong, wrong, wrong, wroooong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wroooong! You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong!

PrinceShroob throws a Fireball for 3 SP at DK! DK takes 12 dge! The Abominable Snowman spits out a snowball for 5 SP! Yoshi and CC get caught up in it and take 18 dge! Argost unleashes the Nicaraguan Blood Sucking Vine for 7 SP! He tosses a seed at the heroes which grows into a massive vine!

Waluigi: I wonder if we can climb up that and find a golden harp and a golden-egg-laying-goose or something!

The vine ensnares the heroes and inflicts 16 dge on them!

Heroes *increased luck!* *ensnared by vine!*  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 68 HP, 105 SP  
Waluigi: 86 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 84 HP, 104 SP  
Mario: 91 HP, 107 SP  
Lucky: 76 HP, 114 SP  
Gary: 76 HP, 101 SP  
Luigi: 96 HP, 97 SP  
Ghoulman: 101 HP, 89 SP  
Birdo: 91 HP, 105 SP

Stars and Snows  
PrinceShroob: 280 HP, 97 SP  
Abominable Snowman (ASM): 59 HP, 45 SP  
V.V. Argost: 80 HP, 43 SP

Yoshi: Well this sucks!  
Argost: Most perceptive of you to notice the vine's ability to suck your blood.  
Waluigi: Vampiric vines! Oh my!  
Yoshi: That's not what I meant!  
Waluigi: Do you think we'll be turned into vines too?  
Argost: Don't be silly. The vines are not like vampires in that they turn you into one of their own. No, it will just suck away at your blood until your dead.  
Waluigi: Oh...well, that's not so bad.  
Yoshi: THAT' S WORSE THAN THAT!

Yoshi struggles against the vine and takes 8 dge! CC and Waluigi struggle against the vine and take 8 dge each! DK breaks free of the vine! Mario uses 3 SP to use a Fireball to burn the vine and break free! Lucky and Gary struggle against the vine and take 8 dge each! Luigi uses 3 SP to use a Fireball to burn the vine and break free! Ghoulman is unaffected by the vine! He uses 2 SP to summon three Pink Boos, chew them up, and pull out a Ghost Blade! He slashes at Argost for 12 dge! Birdo struggles against the vine and takes 8 dge!

PrinceShroob brings out a laser gun and fires at Waluigi and Birdo for 9 and 7 dge respectively! The Abominable Snowman summons a Snowstorm for 5 SP! The snowstorm hits everyone on the field for 21 dge! The Abominable Snowman recovers 38 HP! Argost unleashes a swarm of Devonian Annelids upon the heroes, inflicting 6 dge to them! The Annelids attach themselves to the heroes! The heroes are drained of 3 HP!

Heroes *increased luck!* *ensnared by vine!* *Annelid-equipped!*  
Yoshi: 35 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 30 HP, 105 SP  
Waluigi: 39 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 54 HP, 104 SP (free of vine!)  
Mario: 61 HP, 104 SP (free of vine!)  
Lucky: 38 HP, 114 SP  
Gary: 38 HP, 101 SP  
Luigi: 66 HP, 94 SP (free of vine!)  
Ghoulman: 71 HP, 87 SP (free of vine!)  
Birdo: 46 HP, 105 SP

Stars and Snows  
PrinceShroob: 259 HP, 97 SP  
Abominable Snowman (ASM): 97 HP, 40 SP  
V.V. Argost: 47 HP, 43 SP

Yoshi breaks free of the vine! CC struggles against the vine and takes 8 dge! Waluigi breaks free of the vine! DK uses Banana Grove for 3 SP! He summons a grove of bananas and feeds them to the heroes for a recovery of 45 HP! Mario uses 3 SP for a Fireball! He chucks the Fireball at the vine to release Lucky! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at the vine to release Gary! Gary uses Burner breath for 4 SP! He incinerates the vine, freeing all who were captive! Luigi uses Flame Tornado for 3 SP! He ignites his hand, spins around quickly to create a tornado of flames, then charges at the enemy team! PrinceShroob recovers 11 HP while the Abominable Snowman takes CRITICAL 27 dge and Argost takes 16 dge! Ghoulman slashes at PrinceShroob with the Ghost Blade for 18+21 dge! Birdo throws an Egg Bomb at the Abominable Snowman, hitting him for 18 dge!

PrinceShroob uses his laser gun and blasts Mario and Luigi for 16 dge each! The Abominable Snowman punches DK for 23 dge! Argost releases an insect swarm on the heroes inflicting 3 dge! The Annelids inflict 4 dge on the heroes!

Heroes *increased luck!* *Annelid-equipped!*  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 60 HP, 105 SP  
Waluigi: 77 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 69 HP, 101 SP  
Mario: 83 HP, 101 SP  
Lucky: 76 HP, 114 SP  
Gary: 76 HP, 97 SP  
Luigi: 88 HP, 91 SP  
Ghoulman: 109 HP, 87 SP  
Birdo: 84 HP, 105 SP

Stars and Snows  
PrinceShroob: 231 HP, 97 SP  
Abominable Snowman (ASM): 52 HP, 40 SP  
V.V. Argost: 31 HP, 43 SP

Yoshi fires the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos at the Abominable Snowman for CRITICAL 28 dge! CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He furiously slashes at PrinceShroob for 128 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb, hitting the enemy team for 17 dge each! DK punches the Abominable Snowman KO'ing him!

ASM: Blaaaaaaargh! *pulls out some reading glasses* Hack, cough, wheeeeze! I say, you fellows are really giving it to me!  
Heroes: o_O WTF?  
PrinceShroob: You can talk?  
ASM: Ho ho! Of course I can talk! It's just all this snow tends to clog the ol' wind pipe and I haven't taken my usual draft of frothy beer to clear it out.  
Yoshi:...what?  
ASM: Anywho, it seems I've been beaten, so I'll be off now!

And so the Abominable Snowman walks away from the fight.

Heroes:...  
PrinceShroob:...  
Argost:...  
Aroramage:...huh...guess he wasn't so Abominable after all...

Mario throws a Fireball at Argost for 3 SP! Argost takes 14 dge!

Argost: Argh!

Argost explodes in a furious flaming fireball...of fire!

Heroes: WTF?  
PrinceShroob: Ooh! I could use that!

PrinceShroob dips into the fire and recovers 14 HP!

PrinceShroob: Yay!

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Horseshoe charm to increase the heroes' speed! Gary uses Air Blast for 3 SP! He takes a huge breath and releases a powerful gust at PrinceShroob for 13 dge! Gary bites PrinceShroob for 4 dge! Luigi uses Fire Punch twice for 4 SP! He hits PrinceShroob for 2+3 dge!

Luigi: I don't think he minds getting burned!  
PrinceShroob: Not in the least, fool!

Ghoulman slashes at PrinceShroob with the Ghost Blade for 17+14 dge! Birdo uses 4 SP! She takes a huge breath and fires an egg at high speed at PrinceShroob for 16 dge!

Birdo: Ah, my Egg Cannon technique works just as well as it ever did in the old days. *wink*  
PrinceShroob: Ha! It may work well, but there's nothing you'll be able to do to stop...  
CC:...you feeling alright?  
PrinceShroob:...oh crap...

Suddenly, PrinceShroob glows brightly and transforms! His Shroob form shifts and morphs into that of a Mesprit!

Yoshi:...wait, what?  
Aroramage: The thing from before.  
Yoshi:...oh that!

Mesprit/Shroob appears on the field!

M/S: Foolish mortals! I have arisen once again to take control of this battle!  
Gary: Wait, I'm still confused. Is he PrinceShroob or is he someone else?  
Aroramage: Look at the stats, tell me what you see.

Heroes *increased luck!* *speedy!* *Annelid-equipped!*  
Yoshi: 73 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 60 HP, 98 SP  
Waluigi: 77 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 69 HP, 101 SP  
Mario: 83 HP, 101 SP  
Lucky: 76 HP, 111 SP  
Gary: 76 HP, 94 SP  
Luigi: 88 HP, 87 SP  
Ghoulman: 109 HP, 87 SP  
Birdo: 84 HP, 101 SP

Stars and Snows  
Mesprit/Shroob: 300 HP, 100 SP  
(PrinceShroob: 31 HP, 97 SP)

Gary:...still don't get it.  
Aroramage: He's someone else.  
Gary:...okay?  
M/S: Silence! It's time to bury you beneath the cold unending desert of rage buried within my heart!  
Yoshi:...what?  
Waluigi: Aren't deserts normally hot?  
Gary: Actually, a desert can be hot or cold depending on the region. There are such things as cold deserts.  
Waluigi:...EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG!  
M/S: Enough! Be consumed by the darkness from within!

Mesprit/Shroob summons a Blizzard for 5 SP! The heroes are hit with 14 dge each!

Waluigi: Brrr, that's cold!

The Annelids die off and fall onto the ground!

Heroes *increased luck!* *speedy!*  
Yoshi: 59 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 46 HP, 98 SP  
Waluigi: 63 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 55 HP, 101 SP  
Mario: 69 HP, 101 SP  
Lucky: 62 HP, 111 SP  
Gary: 62 HP, 94 SP  
Luigi: 74 HP, 87 SP  
Ghoulman: 95 HP, 87 SP  
Birdo: 70 HP, 101 SP

Stars and Snows  
Mesprit/Shroob: 300 HP, 95 SP  
(PrinceShroob: 31 HP, 97 SP)

Yoshi:...wait...if he was throwing fireballs before...then now he's throwing ice...!

Yoshi uses the GFC and throws a fireball at Mesprit/Shroob! Mesprit/Shroob takes CRITICAL 34 dge!

M/S: Argh!  
Yoshi: Guys! We have the advantage!

Yoshi throws another fireball with the GFC at Mesprit/Shroob, inflicting CRITICAL 36 dge!

M/S: No!  
CC: Tally-ho!

CC slashes at Mesprit/Shroob for 14+13 dge! Waluigi throws two Bob-ombs at Mesprit/Shroob for 23+21 dge! DK uses 3 SP to charge a punch! DK uses Giant Punch against Mesprit/Shroob for 43 dge!

M/S: Enough!

Mesprit/Shroob triggers his Frozen Barrier! He becomes enveloped in ice!

Mario: What is that?  
Yoshi: A barrier of ice!  
Luigi: And it seems Indestructible!  
CC: Then we must break through it!  
Heroes: HERE WE GO!

The heroes gain a Power Boost from Dramatic Togetherness!

Grambi: Dramatic Togetherness?  
Gawd: WHAT THE **** IS THIS SHIT?  
Grambi: I think it's admirable heroism adapted into a special ability.  
Gawd: ME, WAIT TILL MY SON SEES THIS!

Meanwhile, in a far off distant place...

Geezus: Gee, I'm wondering why I'm getting mentioned so often nowadays...

Back at the plot!

Mario and Luigi use up 8 SP and combine their power!

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

Mario charges a fireball as Luigi charges an orb of lightning! The duo grab hands and charge a mixed fire-thunder aura in the middle! They charge up to Mesprit/Shroob's ice barrier and then spin, throwing off lightning and fire towards the barrier! The flames melt off some of the ice as the lightning cracks at various parts! The duo rise into the air above the barrier as they spin about, and at the top of their rise, the duo smash down upon the barrier with their held hands, shattering the barrier!

M/S: What? This can't be!  
Mario: Eat the Flaming Thunder Twist!  
Luigi: I wanna call it the Shocking Inferno Twist.  
Aroramage: Note to self. TWO attacks I need to work with.

Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Mesprit/Shroob for 7+7 dge! Gary uses Burner Breath twice for 8 SP! He incinerates Mesprit/Shroob for CRITICAL 32+33 dge! Ghoulman slashes at Mesprit/Shroob for 16+17 dge!

M/S: No! I cannot be defeated so abruptly! I barely had a part to begin with!

Birdo ground-pounds Mesprit/Shroob!

M/S: No! I will not let it end like this!

Mesprit/Shroob changes form abruptly into PrinceShroob! Birdo finishes the attack on PrinceShroob for 13+12 dge!

PrinceShroob: What the -? What's going on here?  
Yoshi: You're you again!  
PrinceShroob: Of course I'm me! But just look at my health! It's a mess!

PrinceShroob uses Fire Swallow for 2 SP! He inhales a fireball and recovers 18 HP!

?: Blagablagablagablagabla!  
Yoshi:...what the hell was that?

Out of nowhere, Turkey appears!

Turkey: Blagablagablagablagabla! I'm here, my fellow teammates, to assist in the -BLAGA! - elimination of the opposition of us!  
Yoshi:...and you would be?  
Turkey: I am Timothy Turkey, the alliterately-named lunchmeat of Team Sandwich!  
Yoshi: Just how many of you guys ARE there?  
Turkey: Not enough!  
Aroramage: Too many.  
TRC: CAMEO APPEARANCE!  
Aroramage: GET BACK IN THE BOX!  
TRC:...but it's dark in there.  
Aroramage: DO. IT.  
TRC:...in America. *leaps into box*  
Turkey: Allow me to restore your...*looks at PrinceShroob*...what the - BLAGA! - are you supposed to be?  
PrinceShroob: PrinceShroob, user from the mystical land of-  
Turkey: Whatever. You are clearly not one of my comrades. So I insist someone tell me where they are this instant!  
Yoshi:...well, we could just blast you off after them.  
Turkey: Could you? That would be lovely.  
Yoshi:...kay.

Yoshi blasts Turkey with the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos! Turkey is sent blasting off into the sky!

PrinceShroob: You guys are probably going to see him again, aren't you?  
Yoshi: Probably.

Heroes *increased luck!* *speedy!*  
Yoshi: 59 HP, 110 SP  
CC: 46 HP, 98 SP  
Waluigi: 63 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 55 HP, 98 SP  
Mario: 69 HP, 93 SP  
Lucky: 62 HP, 111 SP  
Gary: 62 HP, 86 SP  
Luigi: 74 HP, 79 SP  
Ghoulman: 95 HP, 87 SP  
Birdo: 70 HP, 101 SP

Stars and Snows  
PrinceShroob: 24 HP, 95 SP  
(Mesprit/Shroob: 4 HP, 95 SP)

Yoshi ground-pounds PrinceShroob for 11+12 dge!

PrinceShroob: Wait, wait! Don't defeat me!  
Yoshi: Why not?  
PrinceShroob: If you do, I won't be able to hold back the other me!  
Mario: What, Mesprit/Shroob or whatever his name is?  
PrinceShroob: How do you know?  
Waluigi: He showed up first.  
PrinceShroob: That does explain the whole "lack of memory before fight" thing.  
Yoshi:...yeah, we got this.  
PrinceShroob: No!

CC slashes at PrinceShroob! PrinceShroob is defeated! Mesprit/Shroob appears!

M/S: Fwahahahaha! Foolish mortals! You have once again released me-

CC slashes at Mesprit/Shroob, KO'ing him!

M/S: Gawddammit!  
Grambi: Another one for you, Gawd.  
Gawd: DAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMNNED!

Mesprit/Shroob goes flying off into the distance, dropping several twinkling objects on his departure.

END BATTLE 1!

The twinkling objects fall in front of the heroes, revealing themselves to be Power Stars.

Yoshi: Welp, looks like we've got some more Star Power.  
Waluigi: Hooray!  
Mario: Now we'll go back and-  
?: Fwahahahahahaha!  
Yoshi:...no...no, not now!

Out of the skies arrives Mr. L in Brobot L-Force! He snatches the Power Stars out of the heroes' grasp and flies off laughing wildly into the sky!

Yoshi:...well, at least he's a no-crap villain.  
Waluigi: Kinda respect him for that.  
Mario: Dammit! We lost the Power Stars to that fiend!  
Luigi: I can't believe this! And we actually worked for those and everything, and then he just pops up out of nowhere and takes it all away.  
Yoshi: Kinda like a villain?  
Luigi: Don't rub it in.

And so our heroes bemoan their misfortune as Mr. L's laughter echoes across the world.

CC: Wait a minute, where did he even come from?  
Yoshi: Who cares, let's just go.

...

...

..."I have returned successfully, master."  
"I see your trip was widely successful."  
"Absolutely. Soon we will be able to bring out the machine against the heroes! Any news from Krillen?"  
"He's on his own trip for the time being. He should arrive in a little while."  
"Excellent. Soon the world will know the terror we shall spread across the universe!"  
"Don't be too quick to judge. The heroes have defied fate on many occasions before. I have no doubt they will defy it once again."  
"But then should we be worried?"  
"Not in the least. Whether they realize it or not, everything is going according to plan..."

...

...

(Nov. 14, 2010 - Dec. 11, 2010)

* * *

Another chapter done. Happy Holidays!


	16. Ch 15: Have a Holly Jolly Time Saving

**Chapter 15: Have a Holly Jolly Time Saving Wario!**

After the foul rapscallion, Mr. L, robbed them of the mighty Power Stars, our valiant and noble heroes return to the grand luxurious decor of the castle, its gleaming mirror reflecting their turmoil back at their faces, as they continued on their ongoing mission to rescue the fair maiden that is the pink princess, who seemed all the further from their multi-handed grasps and closer to those of the fire-breathing reptilian overlord, Bowser, and his mysterious benefactor who continues to elude revelation, perhaps for some narrative dramatic purpose.

...what, you thought there was more to it than that? You really should have started reading this story from the beginning!

Yoshi: I can't believe that bastard stole the Power Stars right from in front of us!  
Mario: Funny, you didn't seem too broken up about it at the time.  
Yoshi: I was stunned at how he did it, that's all! It's frustrating to have our goal snagged like that!  
Gary: Like a villain!  
Yoshi: Pretty much.  
Mario: Well, not much we can do now except continue on our quest to rescue the princess.

BUT I JUST...never mind.

CC: Luigi, are you alright?

The Crimson Crusader approaches a mystified Luigi, who stares intently into the mirror.

Luigi: I know I saw something in that mirror just now.  
CC:...Luigi, there's nothing there.  
Luigi: I know you can't see it. That's because we need my special ability.  
CC: Special ability?  
Luigi: We need a Power Flower.  
CC: But why?  
Luigi: I discovered a long time ago that with a Power Flower, I could become invisible, intangible, ghost-like.  
CC: You mean like a Boo? Like Ghoulman?  
Luigi: Something to that effect.  
CC: But how will that help?  
Luigi: Well, thanks to Professor E. Gadd's research into all things ghostly, I learned that ghosts have the ability to go through a variety of objects.  
CC: That's normal.  
Luigi: Ah, but you see they don't just go through mirrors but rather, much like our jumping through paintings to go into various worlds, they too can travel through to other worlds via mirrors.  
CC: They can do that?  
Luigi: Technically speaking, we could've learned that back in Chapter 9, but-

THE FOURTH WALL IS LYING ON THE GROUND, SHATTERED, A BROKEN SHELL OF ITS FORMER SELF, JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!

Luigi:...wow...the voices in my head are terrifying.  
CC:...ooookaaaaay. *scoots away quickly*

Meanwhile, in the other corner...

Gary: See? I was looking for something like what Luigi mentioned, and here it says ghosts have the ability to go into mirrors.  
Ghoulman: I. COULD. HAVE. TOLD. YOU. THAT!  
Gary:...yeah, anyway, if we could somehow duplicate that power, we could subsequently enter the mirror in this room and somehow access an otherwise inaccessible plane of existence!  
Mario: Are you sure this'll work?  
Ghoulman: I. GUARANTEE. THAT. IT. WILL. WORK!  
Gary: Yes.  
Yoshi: Well, makes the best of sense. At least as far as sense goes in this adventure of ours.  
Waluigi: Yeah, I guess so.  
Yoshi: What's up, Waluigi? You seem all-of-a-sudden depressed.  
Waluigi: It's just that I got to thinking about Wario again. Who knows the kind of position he's in right now?  
Yoshi: Don't worry about it. Okay, so we don't have a clue as to his whereabouts, but hey, that shouldn't stop us from finding and saving him anyway!  
Waluigi: I guess so. *sulks away*  
CC: *shows up* Wow, I don't think I've ever seen Waluigi this depressed ever.  
Yoshi: I know, but what can I say? We really have no idea where Wario is. It might even be best to just-  
Luigi: There! In the mirror!

The heroes turn to where Luigi now points into the mirror!

Mario: What in the world?  
Yoshi: Wait, who is that?

Inside of the mirror stands a tall woman carrying a trident clothed in purple. She disappears into a painting reflected in the mirror.

CC: After her!

The Crimson Crusader rushes towards the painting that was reflected in the mirror. Unfortunately, he rams into it and falls back stunned.

Yoshi: Wow. I thought Waluigi would do something like that, but no. My expectations have for the first time failed me.  
Luigi: Hey, listen, if we can get me a Power Flower, I can help us follow her into the depths of that reflected portal painting in the mirror!  
Mario: Isn't that a convenient red item block right there?

The heroes look to a floating red item block.

Luigi: Perfect! DK, hand me the backpack!  
DK: We have that?

...

DK: I mean, of course! The backpack that holds everything that we have! Which is nothing except ourselves apparently.

Luigi holds the backpack as everyone except he and Ghoulman enter the backpack.

Luigi: I guess being a ghost, you don't really have to worry about traveling to the other side of the mirror.  
Ghoulman: I. AM. A. GHOST!  
Luigi: Yes. Yes you are.

Luigi jumps up and hits the item block, popping out a Power Flower! Luigi utilizes the Power Flower! Luigi becomes invisible and ghostlike!

Luigi: Let's-a go!  
Ghoulman: OKEY. DOKEY!  
Luigi:...close enough.

Luigi and Ghoulman cross through the mirror and on the other side! The mirror world shifts about as though it were solidified liquid. Think glass, only more distorted and other worldly. In fact, think mirror world. Literally for lack of a better description.

Luigi: Wow! We're in the mirror world, a place no mere mortal can ever hope to reach in his lifetime!  
Ghoulman: NO. ONE. EXCEPT. GHOSTS. CAN. COME. THROUGH. TO. THIS. WORLD!  
Luigi: Alright, now that should be the painting that that woman jumped through. Let us pursue with haste!  
Ghoulman: WAIT! WHAT. IS. BEYOND. THIS. DOOR?  
Luigi: The door? Ghoulman, we've no time to investigate such things! We must make haste after that mystery woman who-

Ghoulman opens the reflected door and finds...whoa...

Luigi:...whoa...  
Ghoulman:...whoa...  
Luigi: Whoa! Ghoulman, I don't think I've ever heard you say anything so quietly before!  
Ghoulman: I. DON'T. KNOW. WHAT. YOU'RE. TALKING. ABOUT!  
Luigi: Aaaaaaaand, now it's gone.

Beyond the door is nothing but pure white space.

Luigi: Where do you think this is?  
Ghoulman: END. OF. THE. WORLD?  
?: Oh, don't be alarmed, it's nothing much.

Out of nowhere, a shining man appears.

Luigi: Who are you?  
?: Why I'm Geezus.  
Luigi:...you're...Geezus?  
Geezus: Absolutemente, dude!  
Luigi:...what?  
Geezus: You know, from the Affirmation of Wraith!  
Luigi:...whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  
Geezus: You know, goes like this:

I believe in Gawd the Father Al-Frighty, Maker of Brethren and Girth, and in Geezus Pryced, his only son who's bored, who was relieved of the Holy Spear-It, born of the Bloody Mary, suffered under He-Who's-A-Pirate, was justified, bread and curry; on the third day, He toasted the bread. He ascended into Leaven, and shaketh of the Right Hand of Gawd the Father Al-Frighty; from thence He shall run to purge that lick on the bread. I believe in the Holy Spear-It, the Funny Alcoholic Lurch, the Communion of Faints, the fermentation of bins, the resurrection of the rotting, and the life ever-basking. Amen.

Luigi:...  
Ghoulman:...OH! THAT. AFFIRMATION. OF. WRAITH!  
Luigi: You've _heard_ of this?  
Ghoulman: OF. COURSE! IT. IS. THE. GREATEST. OATH. FOR. THE. UNDEAD. OTHERWORDLY. AND. SPECTRAL. FORCES. FIGHTING. FOR. THE. RIGHTS. OF. SPIRITS. AND. CHEFS. EVERYWHERE!  
Luigi: What the hell do chefs have to do with ANYTHING within this story?  
Ghoulman: WE'VE. GOT. FOOD. BASED. ENEMIES! THIS. HAS. EVERYTHING. TO. DO. WITH. THE. STORY!  
Aroramage: It really doesn't.  
Geezus: Dude, man, chill.  
Luigi: Alright, fine, you're Geezus, son of Gawd the overly temperamental bastard.  
Gawd: I COULD HEAR THAT MILES AND MILES AWAY!  
Luigi: But then what're you doing here? And for that matter, where is here?  
Geezus: Why, you've arrived in the Nothingness.  
Luigi: The...what?  
Geezus: The Nothingness, a blank space left by my Father that simply exists.  
Luigi: But why?  
Geezus: That's the thing about white space; it just exists without reason or explanation. Dad usually says it's because he wanted to leave a bunch of these kind of areas for people to find.  
Luigi: But why have these areas?  
Geezus: Sounds cool. Anyhow, I happened to find this here in Nothingness, and I thought about who'd want it. Would you like it?

Geezus pulls out a hidden Power Star!

Luigi: O_O Wow! We'll take it!  
Geezus: That's the Spear-It, buddy!

Luigi recovers a Power Star for the heroes!

Luigi: Wow. Will we ever see you again?  
Geezus: If Pop's got anything to say about it, we probably will. In the meantime, see ya around!

And with that, Geezus fades out of the white space of Nothingness.

Luigi:...wow...that was cool!  
Ghoulman: SHOULD. WE. GO. BACK. NOW?  
Luigi: Yes, of course!

And so Luigi and Ghoulman exit the room of Nothingness and jump through the painting within the mirror world, leading our heroes into yet another mysterious world of mysteries and whatnot!

...

...

"I suppose it's time to release the beast back into the wild."

...

...

Upon arrival within the new world, our heroes - mostly Luigi and Ghoulman - find themselves atop a strange snowy pillar amidst a chilling wind. A merry laughter echoes about them as the other heroes step out of the backpack.

Yoshi: Geez, that sure is a long way down, eh Waluigi?  
Waluigi: Yeah...I guess...  
CC: I hope they made lots of spaghetti!  
M&L: *annoyed glare*  
CC:...I mean, yeah, long way down.  
Mario: In any case, we need to figure out where to go from here, like we normally do.  
Gary: I don't even remember doing what we normally do for a little while now.  
Birdo: I don't even know what you normally do!  
Lucky: Hey, what about this over here?

Lucky indicates a nearby slide composed of ice.

Yoshi: Well, better than nothing.  
Mario: Let's-a go!

The heroes take off down the ice slide, rollin' and ridin' and slippin' and slidin', it's magic. As they arrive at the bottom they are dropped off into a vast nothingness!

Yoshi: Ah shit!  
Lucky: Well, if that don't just...  
Mario: Note to self, do NOT go down slides if you don't know where they lead.  
Gary: I'm too young to die!  
Waluigi:...

Suddenly, a massive updraft hits the heroes and causes them to rise up into the air and land on a nearby snow pillar.

Luigi:...well, that was fun, if not painful.  
Yoshi: I'll say.

The heroes recover from their landing and continue across perilous heights.

CC: Why must these heights be so perilous?  
Yoshi: If they weren't, would we be crossing them?  
CC: Probably.

Meanwhile, a Goomba in the distance is taking a dive!

Gary: Poor Goomba, we lose more and more of them that way.  
Lucky: Isn't it about this time when suicide rates are the highest?  
Gary: Don't remind me.

As the heroes continue through the mysterious land, more mirthful laughter can be heard echoing across the cavernous snowy land.

Yoshi: Cavernous snowy land?

KEEP. WALKING.

Eventually, our heroes arrive at a curious hole in the ground.

Yoshi: Curious hole in the ground?

YES. IT. IS.

CC: I wonder why this is here.  
Mario: Probably gotta jump into it like with the Goomboss fight from so long ago.  
Yoshi: No guts, no glory, eh?  
Waluigi:...sure, something to that effect.  
?: Ho ho ho!

Out of the sky comes a gale-force wind! The heroes shield themselves!

Yoshi:...wait a minute...the wind feels...soft?  
CC: Now that you mention it, it kinda feels like a comfy cloth rushing over us.  
Mario: What the heck?  
Luigi: What's going on?  
?: Never fear, heroes!

A jingling sound echoes as several reindeer draw a massive red sled behind them, all up in the air!

Yoshi: It can't be...  
CC: Is that really...?  
DK: That's...  
Gary: Whoa...  
Lucky: What in the...  
Birdo: Oo-la-la!  
Luigi: Is that...  
Mario:...Santa Claus?

As the reindeer land on a nearby bank of snow, a jolly man with a white beard in a red suit hops vibrantly out of the sleigh, does several forward handsprings and jumps high into the air with several flips before landing perfectly on his feet! The heroes bring out cards with "10" written on each one.

Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!  
Yoshi: Is it that time already?  
Mario: I guess we have been searching for the princess for a while.  
Santa: Yes, you have! But now is not the time to fret! Now is the time to celebrate!  
Yoshi: Wait, how do you know about us searching for the princess?  
Santa: Why I read this story myself! I spend so much time at home anyway, and since Christmas time's only once a year, I usually don't have much to do. So using my special laptop, my Nook, my iPad, and my magnifying glass, I go online and read many many stories from all over the world!  
Mario: How come we never see you registering on system scanners?  
Santa: My technological devices are a bit different in that they complete protect me and my software.  
Yoshi: Wait, so you don't get any viruses?  
CC: No Trojans?  
DK: No worms?  
Gary: No stupid spyware offers?  
Santa: Nothing commercial at all! In fact, it's so effective, I'm still using the very first system ever made!  
Yoshi: The one from the 1970s?  
Santa: No, the one made in the 1470s.  
Heroes: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  
Santa: But enough about me and my awesomeness, it's Christmas! Everyone should be given presents! And as it turns out, I have a present for each of you!  
Heroes: ?

Santa reaches into a monstrously large bag and pulls out a smaller lookalike bag.

Santa: Yes, well most of you got letters from a folks you may know. First off, Ghoulman-  
Ghoulman: YES!  
Santa:...okay, then. Ghoulman, here's a letter from your fellow Boos.

Santa hands Ghoulman an envelope, which the Boo picks up with his ghostly hands and reads its contents.

Ghoulman:...whoa...  
Yoshi: What the hell?  
Mario: Ghoulman didn't shout something?  
Luigi: Don't worry about it.  
Ghoulman:...THEY'VE. FOUND. A. NEW. HOME!  
Yoshi: Really?  
Gary: That's great news!  
DK: Hoo-rah, oh-ah!  
Santa: They also sent you this magnificent artifact.

Santa brings out a stick with a cheese wrapped around a large shape like a cloth. Ghoulman takes it and unwraps the cheese with his tongue, revealing a mighty fist with a small stick in its clutches.

Ghoulman: WHOA!  
Santa: Yes, I said something similar when that cloth turned to cheese. In fact, anything that touches turns into cheese! Think of it like the hand of Midas, but for cheese.  
Ghoulman: COOL!  
Santa: And now, Birdo, your gift.  
Birdo: Oooooh!

Santa reaches into the bag and pulls out a small box with a note attached.

Santa: Apparently it's from some bunnies.  
Birdo: Oh! I remember those guys!

Birdo reads through the note.

Birdo: Sounds like they're doing alright back home.  
Santa: Don't forget to check your package!

Birdo opens the box to reveal a bracelet.

Birdo: Oo-la-la! This will look darling on me!  
Santa: As I remember, they mentioned it could give the wearer something like strength of a titan or a giant or something really big and bulky, but without the diet and exercise.  
Birdo: Not that I need it, but thank goodness!  
Santa: And that brings me to you, Crimson.  
CC: Really?  
Santa: Yep. Same bunnies gave you a note too, along with this.

Santa pulls out a long box and gently holds it out to the Crimson Crusader. He opens the box to reveal-

CC: Whoa! These are...these are...  
Santa: Two finely crafted carrot blades, made specially with falcarinol and 24-karat gold.

The Crimson Crusader brings out the two mighty blades which shine magnificently in the light of the world!

Yoshi: Wow. That's really cool.  
CC: I agree!

The Crimson Crusader brings out his old blade, which has been worn down from the long journey.

CC: Could you bring this back to my friends back at home? Tell them I thank them for the new blades and wish to donate this as a tribute to them.  
Santa: I promise to honor that, so I vow.

The Crimson Crusader places the old blade into the box, which Santa closes and delicately lays back into the bag.

Santa: And now, Gary, it's your turn.  
Gary: Ooh!

Santa reaches into the bag and pulls out a small scroll and a letter, handing them over to Gary.

Gary: Hey, it's from Larry! And the scroll's a new spell!  
Santa: Basically. Good way of putting it.  
Gary: Man, thanks Larry!

Far far away...

Larry: No prob, Gary!

Back in the main story...

Santa: Lucky, for you, a letter from the Breakfast Brigade.  
Lucky: Really?

Lucky takes the letter along with the box that Santa pulls out from the bag.

Lucky: Wow! It says that they're doing some work fighting off the forces of evil! Who knew?  
Yoshi: Definitely gonna wish them luck with that!  
Lucky: You bet! And this is...

Lucky pulls out a medallion from the box.

Lucky:...why...this is...  
Santa: The Medallion of Breakfast, said to be complete with all of their powers, now at your disposal.  
Lucky:...wow...I hope I see them soon.  
Santa: Who knows? And now for you, DK.  
DK: Alright!

Santa pulls out a large bag from within the bag and hands it to DK.

Santa: A little friend of yours wanted me to give this to you. He knows you've been away for a while and wants to wish you the best of luck in your journey. And for some luck-  
DK: WHOA-OH-OH! A Golden Banana Grove!  
Santa: That's right. That grove has ten bananas, each imbued with a special blend of nutritious deliciousness and power-packing energy! It'll increase your power immensely, but only for a short amount of time.  
DK: This is awesome!  
Santa: And now, Mario, Luigi, something special for the two of you.

Santa reaches and pulls out more letters and a couple more bags, handing them over to Mario and Luigi.

Mario: *reading the letter*...why, this is from Peach!  
Luigi: And this is from Daisy!  
Santa: Yep. Truth be told, even while captive they've got kind hearts.  
Mario: How did you get these?  
Santa: I'm Santa! It's what I do!  
Luigi: Fair enough. *reaches into the bag and pulls out-* Hey! This is a Fire Flower!  
Mario: A power-up? And in mine...*reaches into bag and pulls out-* A 1-Up Mushroom!  
Santa: Yep. Each of those bags is special. Luigi's will allow him to pull out any power-up, while Mario's can pull out a limitless amount of 1-Ups!  
Mario: Isn't this kind of cheating?  
Santa: Nah, you guys don't die anyway, right? Although, I think there's supposed to be at least one Star in each.  
Luigi: Like an Invincibility Star, right?  
Santa: Yeah. Sorry, no Power Stars with me.  
Mario: That's alright, this will do very nicely.  
Santa: And now, Yoshi's turn.  
Yoshi: Cool.

Santa reaches into the bag and pulls out-

Yoshi: No way.  
Santa: Believe me, I went through a lot of trouble to get this.

Santa holds out an earthenware gauntlet wrapped in vines out to Yoshi.

Santa: The Gauntlet of Buried Hopes, to go with the ones you've got.  
Yoshi: Wow.

Yoshi takes the Gauntlet of Buried Hopes and applies it to the Super Gauntlet. The Super Gauntlet absorbs the Gauntlet of Buried Hopes, reflecting a new emerald within the circle.

Yoshi: This rocks!  
Santa: Literally. It holds within itself the power of the very earth, which oughta help you out in a pinch.  
Yoshi: Santa, dude, you are the best!  
Santa: Of course!

Everyone turns now to look at Waluigi, who amidst all of this activity has simply stared out across the distance.

Santa: Waluigi.

Waluigi turns to Santa.

Santa: I've got something for you too.

Santa approaches Waluigi and puts his gloved hand on his shoulder.

Santa: Waluigi...your brother's alive.  
Waluigi:...he is?  
Santa: Absolutely. I happen to know that he's in this world.  
Waluigi: He is?  
Santa: Yep. In fact, he's trapped right now within the body of your next boss.  
Waluigi: What?  
Santa: That's right. He is trapped and needs your help to get out. Hopefully with that encouragement, you can bring yourself to rescue him.

Waluigi looks down for a moment before looking up at Santa, a smile on his face brimming with newfound self-confidence.

Waluigi: Ya know, just knowing that Wario's alright is good enough for me.  
Santa: Oh! But let's not forget this.

Santa holds out to Waluigi a special ring. On it is a small golden Bob-omb.

Waluigi:...this is...my Gawd.  
Gawd: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS...oh snap.  
Santa: This, Waluigi, is something I made for you. It has special powers for explosions, but its true power can be awakened when all hope seems lost. Use it wisely.  
Waluigi:...Santa...thank you...

Waluigi tears up and gives Santa a big hug. The other heroes huddle together and from one giant group hug.

Aroramage: This is by far the mushiest and cheesiest anything I've ever put in here...and it's a beautiful moment. *sniff* 'Scuse me.

The heroes break off with Santa.

Santa: Well then, I'm off once more to go deliver to all the other boys and girls of the world.  
Yoshi: Good luck to you, Santa.  
Santa: Ha! I've been doing this for over a thousand years across thousands of universes and dimensions! I've got this covered! No, good luck to you heroes! I hope to read a befitting end!  
Mario: So long, Santa!  
Luigi: Goodbye!  
CC: We'll miss you verily!  
Lucky: Aye, to that!  
Gary: Goodbye!  
DK: Oo-ah!  
Birdo: What the stud said!  
Ghoulman: HASTA. LUEGO!  
Waluigi: Thanks so much!  
Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

And with that, Santa takes off with his sleigh and reindeer, off into the starry sky.

Yoshi: Wait, since when can Ghoulman speak Spanish?  
Aroramage: It's a beautiful moment, don't ruin it!  
Waluigi: Alright guys, listen up!

Waluigi takes a powerful pose upon the hill above the heroes near the hole.

Waluigi: I may know as much about what's down there as you guys. I know there's a big boss down there and maybe some freaky lady. But I also know that my bro's down there. I don't know about you, but I'm not going home until I get my bro back!  
Luigi: Here here!  
Mario: Wa-hoo!  
CC: I concur.  
DK: Whoopie!  
Birdo: Uh-huh!  
Ghoulman: YES!  
Lucky: Aye, lad!

Waluigi and Yoshi lock eyes for a moment, the duo smiling at each other.

Yoshi: Let's go kick some ass.

And so the heroes dive down into the hole, ready to take on whoever or whatever may be down there. Our heroes fall on top of what appears to be an arena of ice! Unfortunately, as soon as they land, the ice melts and breaks through, causing them to land into an ice hole.

Yoshi: Well, that's fantastic.  
Luigi: You know, I wasn't sure what to expect. Now I know; we should expect random ice holes to appear.  
Gary: I was actually expecting a bunch of bad guys to appear.  
?: Bloo!  
Luigi: Speaking of ice-holes...

Out of the shadows of the arena that lacks shadows comes a burly being of incredible iciness (my Gawd, that's how it's spelled?) whose unique unicorn-esque horn makes people want to sing-

Yoshi: No.

...but I-

Yoshi: NO!  
?: Ab lasb, oo ahv enberrt ba ayer off Keef Killy!  
Mario:...what?  
Chief Chilly: Oo ahv enberrt ba ayer off Keef Killy!  
Luigi: What's he saying?  
Gary: I think he's trying to introduce himself.  
ChCh: Oo err! Wiba mushcash! I am ble bing off kolt! I ab ble mushcash masher! Bor boise blaffing suk marveels, I piby bee. Ib'z nob a ffair ffighb ffor oo, bub bluckilly, I'b not a ffair ffighberrr! Jusha hambsombe kilngly mushcash masher off kolt! Bwa ha ha ha!  
Luigi: Kay, who actually got any of that?  
?: He's just introducing himself and making his big speech.  
Luigi: Oh, thanks!  
Gary: Luigi~  
Luigi: Wha-HOLY SKEWER OF PRYCED!  
Geezus: Dude, that ain't anything related to me.  
Luigi: Oh...well, thought I'd give it a try.

Next to the mighty frozen body of Chief Chilly is the purple-clothed woman from before, with what appears to be a small fairy.

Yoshi: Don't tell me it's Navi.  
?2: Hey! I take offense to that!  
Waluigi: Who are you guys?  
?: Sorry, we should've introduced ourselves first. I am Letty Whiterock, the Youkai of Winter.  
?2: And I'm Cirno! The flight of chilling death!  
Yoshi: Youkai of Winter?  
Gary: Flight of chilling death?  
Cirno: You betcha!  
Letty: We are here to defend the Chief such that this world may remain as it is.  
Yoshi:...so, the Chief basically made this world a frozen barren wasteland or arctic tundra of sorts?  
ChCh: Gah-ha!  
Yoshi: And the two of you are here to protect him?  
Letty: As the embodiments of the cold and the snow and the wintry chills, yes.  
Cirno: What she said!  
Yoshi: And now we're going to fight each other.  
ChCh: Gah-ha!  
Waluigi: I'm going to assume the reason you talkin' funny is cause you swallowed up my bro.  
ChCh: Gah-ha!  
Waluigi: I'm taking that as a yes and telling you to DIE, MONSTER, DIE!

Waluigi charges recklessly into the fray of battle!

BATTLE 1 START!

Heroes  
Yoshi: 110 HP, 100 SP  
CC: 105 HP, 95 SP  
Waluigi: 105 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 115 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 110 HP, 100 SP  
Lucky: 95, 110 SP  
Gary: 95, 105 SP  
Luigi: 115 HP, 95 SP  
Ghoulman: 120 HP, 85 SP  
Birdo: 110 HP, 100 SP

Chills Down Spine  
Chief Chilly: 150 HP, 0 SP  
Letty: 100 HP, 25 SP  
Cirno: 75 HP, 15 SP

Yoshi: Weird, these guys seem weaker than the normal fray of bad guys.  
CC: Isn't that usually a sign of them being stronger than the normal group that comes in around that kind of power?  
Yoshi: ...crap.

Waluigi's charge gains initiative! Waluigi smacks Chief Chilly! The Chief takes 2 dge!

CC: I second your motion, Yoshi.  
Yoshi: What motion?  
CC: Never mind.

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Buried Hopes! CC slashes at the Chief for 1 dge! DK punches the Chief for 2 dge! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at the Chief for CRITICAL 1 dge!

Mario: Damn, he's got-a hell of a defense!

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover to boost the heroes' luck! Gary takes advantage of the hole in the ice and uses 7 SP! He summons an Aqua Dragon from the hole and uses it to attack Chief Chilly! The Chief takes 1 dge! Luigi jumps and lands on Letty for 8 dge! Ghoulman sneaks behind Cirno and scares her for CRITICAL 18 dge!

Cirno: Wah! You freakish ghoul! I'll teach you to scare an exorcist!  
Ghoulman: EXORCIST?  
Yoshi: Careful, she might exorcise her right to get-cha.  
Cirno: Screw you!

Birdo punches Chief Chilly for a mighty 3 dge!

Birdo: Wow! This bracelet's helpful for the fight!

Chief Chilly rams through DK for 23 dge!

Yoshi:...we're royally screwed, aren't we?  
ChCh: Gwa-ga-ga!  
Yoshi:...this is verging on ridiculous.  
CC: Where've you been?

Letty unleashes a snowstorm! The heroes all take 12 dge each! Cirno blasts an icicle at Ghoulman for 7 dge!

Heroes *lucky*  
Yoshi: 98 HP, 100 SP (charging!)  
CC: 93 HP, 95 SP  
Waluigi: 93 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 80 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 98 HP, 97 SP  
Lucky: 83, 107 SP  
Gary: 83, 98 SP  
Luigi: 103 HP, 95 SP  
Ghoulman: 101 HP, 85 SP  
Birdo: 98 HP, 100 SP

Chills Down Spine  
Chief Chilly: 140 HP, 0 SP  
Letty: 92 HP, 25 SP  
Cirno: 57 HP, 15 SP

Yoshi: Alright, now let's see what this baby can do!

Yoshi unleashes the power of the Gauntlet of Buried Hopes! The ground shakes and rumbles and unleashes a force of great magnitude at the enemies! Magnitude 6! Chief Chilly takes 4 dge! Letty takes 22 dge! Cirno avoids the attack! CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He furiously slashes at Chief Chilly, Letty, and Cirno! The Chief takes 3 dge! Letty takes 17 dge! Cirno takes 22 dge! Waluigi uses Punctuation Bomber for 7 SP!

Yoshi: Dude, it's been forever since you've used that attack!  
Waluigi: I'm getting my bro outta there, one way or another!

Total "!"s: 22

ChCh: Bwa?  
Letty: Quick, Cirno, the defense!  
Cirno: Okay!

Waluigi throws 22 Bob-ombs at the enemies! Letty and Cirno form an ice shield to protect themselves! Chief Chilly can't get beneath the barrier in time! The Bob-ombs descend upon him for MASSIVE DAMAGE! The Chief takes a total of 22 dge!

CC: Remind me never to make him upset.

The barrier withstands the assault! Letty and Cirno take no damage! DK punches the barrier protecting them and destroys it! Mario punches Chief Chilly for 2 dge! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Chief Chilly for 2 dge! Gary uses the Aqua Dragon to attack Chief Chilly for 3 dge! Luigi charges up electricity in his hand for 2 SP! He swings his mighty fist at Chief Chilly and punches him for an electrifying 4 dge!

Luigi: How'd ya like that Thunder Punch?  
ChCh: Gwee hee hee!  
Luigi:...I guess it only tickled...

Ghoulman summons 3 Pink Boos for 3 SP! He chews them up and spits them at Chief Chilly for 3+3+4 dge! Birdo ground-pounds Chief Chilly for 2 dge!

Birdo: Darlings, we're whittling away at their health!  
ChCh: Gwah!

The Chief jumps high into the air and slams down on the outer ring of the area! The outer ring falls, shrinking the size of the area!

Yoshi:...that can't be good.

Letty unleashes a snowstorm on the heroes! The heroes take 11 dge each! Cirno uses Icicle Fall for 5 SP! She freezes the air surrounding her into icicles and artfully throws them about the heroes! The heroes are hit for 7 dge each!

Heroes *lucky*  
Yoshi: 80 HP, 100 SP  
CC: 75 HP, 88 SP  
Waluigi: 75 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 62 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 80 HP, 97 SP  
Lucky: 65, 107 SP  
Gary: 65, 98 SP  
Luigi: 85 HP, 93 SP  
Ghoulman: 83 HP, 82 SP  
Birdo: 80 HP, 100 SP

Chills Down Spine  
Chief Chilly: 88 HP, 0 SP  
Letty: 53 HP, 25 SP  
Cirno: 35 HP, 10 SP

Yoshi charges the Gauntlet with Fiery Chaos! CC slashes at Chief Chilly for 1 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the opposing team! Chief Chilly takes 2 dge! Letty takes 17 dge! Cirno takes 22 dge! DK punches Chief Chilly for 2 dge! Mario punches Chief Chilly for 1 dge! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Chief Chilly for 1 dge! Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! He lets loose a mighty yell that shocks Chief Chilly for 2 dge! Luigi uses 1 SP for Frozen Cure!

Luigi: Worth a shot.

Luigi uses it against Chief Chilly! Part of the Chief melts away revealing-

Waluigi: Bro!

-Wario's hand!

Luigi: Wow. I can't believe I didn't see that coming.  
Waluigi: Don't worry, bro! We'll get you out of that guy in no time!  
Luigi: You do realize he can't hear you yet, right?  
Waluigi: Don't ruin my moment!

Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 3 SP! He summons three Pink Boos and tosses them at Chief Chilly for 1+1+1 dge! Birdo encases herself in an egg for 2 SP! She then rolls and rams into Chief Chilly for 3 dge! The Chief is knocked near the edge!

Birdo: Oh this is just ridiculous!  
Yoshi:...but I think I have an idea.

The Chief rams Luigi for 28 dge! Letty surrounds the team with a flurry of snow for 4 SP! The Chief recovers 2 HP! Letty recovers 23 HP! Cirno recovers 32 HP! Cirno throws icicles at the heroes for 3 dge each!

Heroes *lucky*  
Yoshi: 77 HP, 100 SP (charging!)  
CC: 72 HP, 88 SP  
Waluigi: 72 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 59 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 77 HP, 97 SP  
Lucky: 62, 107 SP  
Gary: 62, 95 SP  
Luigi: 54 HP, 92 SP  
Ghoulman: 80 HP, 79 SP  
Birdo: 77 HP, 98 SP

Chills Down Spine  
Chief Chilly: 79 HP, 0 SP  
Letty: 59 HP, 21 SP  
Cirno: 45 HP, 10 SP

Yoshi continues charging the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos! CC uses Double Slash! He slashes at Chief Chilly for 1+1 dge! Waluigi chucks a Bob-omb at the enemy! The Chief takes 4 dge! Letty takes 24 dge! Cirno takes 35 dge! DK winds up for a punch! Mario and Luigi use 8 SP!

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

Mario and Luigi used Dual Tornado! Mario charges a fireball while Luigi charges a lightning orb in his hand! The duo attack Chief Chilly and hit him rapidly with fire and lightning, rising up into the air as they do! At the height of their assent, they duo smash down upon Chief Chilly for finishing damage! The Chief takes a total of 14 dge!

Mario:...are you kidding me?  
Luigi: That is some freaking defense, man!

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Magic Mirror charm to form a reflective barrier around the heroes!

Lucky: I haven't used this in forever!

Gary brings out the scroll he received from Santa! He opens the scroll to reveal a set of instruction! Gary reads through the instructions! Gary learned a new spell!

Gary: Time to see what this baby can do!

Gary uses 5 SP! He...seems to be transforming? His eyes begin to look ravenous as he drools furiously from his mouth!

Gary: *drools and growls* I MUST DEVOUR YOU ALL!

Gary leaps and bites down on Chief Chilly! Gary attaches himself onto Chief Chilly!

ChCh: Bragahagabra?  
Gary: You taste so good, like a sno-cone!  
Yoshi:...what just happened?  
Luigi: I think Gary's lost it.

Gary munches away at Chief Chilly! The drool becomes acidic and burns away at Chief Chilly's defenses! Chief Chilly takes 15 dge and is weakened!

Lucky: *reads scroll* "The Ravenous Hunger spell, also known as Toxic Devour, gives the wielder a horrific hunger and turns their saliva into a lethal acid. The corrosive acid will burn away at any defensive power the enemy hold and can inflict a nasty burn on fleshier foes."  
CC:...how...gruesome...  
Yoshi: And yet surprisingly effective in this situation!

Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 3 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, then fires them off at Letty and Cirno! Letty takes 17 dge! Cirno defends herself with an icicle, reducing the damage to 8!

Letty: This does not bode well.

Birdo uses Egg Cannon for 4 SP! She sucks in air and blasts out an egg at Letty! Letty breaks the egg with her trident!

Mario: Wait, when did she have a trident?  
Luigi: I can't believe I forgot about that...whoops!

Chief Chilly rams Mario for 12 dge! Letty uses 7 SP! She unleashes her trident's power and sends a mighty blizzard at the heroes! In the midst of the blizzard, a giant ice fish appears! The barrier deflects the blizzard and barely holds off the ice fish's assault! Cirno brings out a Potion and recovers 15 HP!

Gary munches on Chief Chilly for 4 dge! The Chief fumes and smashes down upon the outer circle of the arena, shrinking it further!

Heroes *lucky!* *protected!*  
Yoshi: 77 HP, 100 SP (charging!)  
CC: 72 HP, 88 SP  
Waluigi: 72 HP, 95 SP  
DK: 59 HP, 100 SP  
Mario: 65 HP, 89 SP  
Lucky: 62, 104 SP  
Gary: 62, 90 SP (munching Chief Chilly!)  
Luigi: 54 HP, 84 SP  
Ghoulman: 80 HP, 76 SP  
Birdo: 77 HP, 94 SP

Chills Down Spine  
Chief Chilly: 40 HP, 0 SP (weakened!)  
Letty: 18 HP, 14 SP (danger!)  
Cirno: 17 HP, 10 SP (danger!)

Yoshi: Now's our chance!

Yoshi sends a fireball out from the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos at Letty! Letty tries to block it with her trident but fails to! Letty takes 18 dge!

Letty: Well this figures...

Letty blows away in a magnificent flurry of snow! Cirno is left behind!

Cirno: Wait! No! Take me with you! TAKE ME WITH YOU!

CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He furiously slashes at Cirno for 38 dge!

Cirno: Oh you didn't need to use overkill, you furry bas-*poof*  
Yoshi: o_O That was weird.

Waluigi uses the Golden Bob-omb Ring!

Waluigi: Alright, you frozen jerkface, it's time for you to meet your doom!  
ChCh: Gwah?  
Waluigi: I'm about to rock you.  
ChCh: Gwah?  
Waluigi: Like a hurricane.  
ChCh: Gwah!

Waluigi jumps up and punches with the ring! Chief Chilly takes a mighty blow to the head! The ring activates, triggering a powerful explosive! Chief Chilly takes 20 dge and is sent off the edge of the arena! The water inflicts 50 dge! Chief Chilly shatters into a multitude of icy shards! Gary flies off and lands safely, the effects of Toxic Devour wearing off.

END BATTLE!

The explosion within the fight has brought a mass of smoke about the arena, obscuring the heroes' vision of Waluigi. As the smoke clears, Waluigi is seen standing triumphantly as another, more portly figure lies on the ground in front of him. The smoke clears revealing Wario lying on the ground.

Waluigi: You okay, bro?  
Wario:...*fart* Ah, better than ever, bro!

The Wario brothers reunite happily! Sorta...

Yoshi: This is probably going to be the beginning of a really weird relationship.  
CC: I'm thinking this is just weird.  
Luigi: He's your evil twin brother.  
Mario: Oh shut up.

Waluigi and Wario disengage from their embrace.

Waluigi: So bro, can you tell us about what happened? What's been going on with you?

Wario opens his mouth as though he remembers something, but then he stops. For a moment, he doesn't say anything and just scratches his head.

Wario: I...I don't think I can remember.

(Dec. 21 2010 - Jan. 24 2011)


	17. Ch 16: Mountopolis Dystopia Awaits!

Chapter 16: Mountopolis Dystopia Awaits!

Returning from the depths of the weird and unusual mirror world, our heroes have gained a new member to their ranks in the form of Wario, Waluigi's long-lost brother. Now with the captive heroes all freed, our heroes prepare themselves for an even bigger threat.

Yoshi: Alright guys, I know we've already had a long and grueling journey, but now we have to pull ourselves together if we're gonna face what lies ahead.  
CC: I concur with this remark. There are bound to be greater foes in the near future, fighters of a comprehension beyond our own reckoning.  
Waluigi: This could be the greatest night of our lives, but there's room enough for it to go terribly and horribly wrong.  
DK: We've got to stick together like glue! We must combine our powers and unite in order to form a stronger force than before!  
Mario: We are the good guys, the ones who save the town and restore the peace and normality of the world to such a state as it was before.  
Lucky: We are a mighty force rivaling gods! We cannot fail on the pain of knowing those who we fail will suffer the most.  
Gary: Nothing can prevent our acceleration into the future, but we can determine where we go. Whether for better or worse.  
Luigi: And though the troubles before us are greater than ever, we are able to suck it up and give one for the team!  
Ghoulman: WE. WILL. SUCCEED!  
Birdo: And if we don't, then we'll fall together.  
Wario: And through the bonds we share with each other, we will triumph over our common foe!  
Yoshi: You guys ready for this?  
Heroes: Yes!  
Yoshi: Ready...set...and...  
Heroes: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!

...WHAT THE ****?

Yoshi: Oh, hey mage.  
Aroramage: What are you guys DOING?  
Waluigi: Training!  
Aroramage: By playing Rock-Paper-Scissors?  
Waluigi: Yes!  
Aroramage: WHY AREN'T YOU...you guys don't know where to go, do you?  
Yoshi: Well, since we got Wario back, I think we're practically done. Video game logic dictates that after the last partner is received, the game gets progressively more challenging and grinding becomes a necessity. So we're grinding.  
Waluigi: *grinds off to the side...the dance grind...*  
Aroramage: *shudder* That's not what goes on, and who said Wario was gonna be the last?  
DK: You mean we'll get more?  
Aroramage: I didn't say that!  
Yoshi: But you're totally hinting at it.  
Aroramage: STFU & MOVE ON!

And so our heroes decide to go through a new painting.

Yoshi: What can you tell us about this painting?  
Mario: That one? Oh, that one leads to a mountain.  
Luigi: With giant mushrooms. Reminds me of Mushroom Gorge.  
Yoshi: Sounds easy enough.  
Waluigi: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...whoa...whoa...we're climbing a mountain?  
Yoshi: Maybe.  
Waluigi: For Power Stars?  
Yoshi: You don't have a problem with that, do you?  
Waluigi: Gee, I don't know, why don't you ask my brother, Wario?  
Wario: Uh, I don't have a problem with it.  
Waluigi: Oh no, uh-uh, not with _that_ figure, you're not.  
Wario: Whaddya mean my figure, and I'm not what?  
Waluigi: I thought it was obvious!  
Wario: What's obvious is your face about to get punched!  
Waluigi: Ya wanna go, huh?  
Wario: Feeling lucky, punk?

The Wario Bros. scrap with themselves for a little bit as the heroes look on, anime teardrops running down their heads.

Mario: I'm glad we don't fight like that.  
Luigi: Maybe it's cause they're our evil twins, but this is just really sad.

Finally, the Wario Bros. stop their fighting and calmly walk back to the heroes.

Waluigi: Well, after our little bout, we've decided it's okay to go to the mountain.  
Wario: *whilst picking his nose* I'm still fit enough to kick his ass.  
Waluigi: IT WAS A TIE!  
Yoshi: This story's never gonna be the same again, is it?  
Aroramage: Super Mario 64 DS CARA, now with 100% more Wario-based craziness.

And so the heroes join together and leap through the newest portal into the newest world of their not-so-new journey, to perform the same task they were charging themselves with since the beginning of the game, but really who's counting, right?

Upon arrival, the heroes find themselves at the base of the tall, tall mountain.

Yoshi:...this mountain...is really...really...  
CC: Tall?  
Birdo: Enormous?  
Waluigi: Grand?  
Ghoulman: HUGE?  
Yoshi:...dark...

Sure enough, unlike the painting they jumped through, the world itself seems to be shrouded in stormy darkness.

Yoshi: You don't think one of _them_ is skulking about, do you?  
Mario: I don't know. We need to be careful regardless.  
Luigi: I'd hate it so much if one of those guys was here.  
Lucky: Hang on, what's that?

Nearby walks a green humanoid polygon creature. It walks about aimlessly and doesn't seem to notice the heroes' presence not more than five feet from it.

Yoshi: The hell?  
Gary: What _is_ that thing?  
Mario: Beats me.  
DK: Let's smash it and see what's inside it!

DK lays the smack down on the polygonic...thing!

DK: Hoo-rah!

The creature writhes in senseless pained movements before exploding!

Yoshi: Geez.  
DK: Oo-ah...  
?: Halt intruders!

Out of the skies appears a birdman wielding a spear! Or is it a manbird wielding a spear?

Birdman?: What art thou seeking upon this blessed mountain?  
Yoshi: Blessed mountain?  
Mario: We just wanted to wander the mountain side a little is all.  
Manbird?: What is that language you speak? It is foreign to mine ears!  
Yoshi: English?  
CC: I think I know what he wants to hear. Allow me.

The Crimson Crusader approaches the...hybridized bird-man.

CC: Verily, we seeketh safe passage to wander these rocky cliffs for signs of several lost personal items of value for us.  
Manbird?: Hast thou gained the proper access from His Most Mighty?  
CC: Nay, for we have arrived here only recently and have not heard of His Most Mighty before on our prior visitation through these lands.  
Birdie-man?: Ah! Then dost you not know of us?  
CC: Nay. I pray thee, tell us who thou art.  
Manly-Bird!: I am called Upsilon of:

_**The Protoines!**_

Yoshi: *to Mario* The Protoines?  
Mario: Never heard of em.  
CC: Under what stretch of time hast thou occupied these regions?  
Upsilon: For merely a fortnight, as it were. We hath settled after the glorious discovery of the shining sprites! They bring us power, power unlike anything we hath dreamt of in our deepest sleeps! It was our glorious leader who hath made the landscape as it is now.  
Yoshi: Interesting.  
CC: Verily. May we be free to roam these regions?  
Upsilon: Only if thou may tell me of whom destroyed our firstborn artificial being, Protoine 001?

Upsilon indicates the now wrecked and ruined creature on the ground, sparks flying out of its head.

DK:...*whistles*  
CC: Uh, I doth apologize, for verily it was my companion in the tie, known as Donkey Kong.  
DK:...uh, hey.  
Upsilon: He speaketh unintelligibly.  
CC: Fear not, I know of his language.  
Upsilon: This grievous crime, however, cannot pass by unpunished! I must unleash the punishment brought down by our leader and avenge the death of our firstborn creation! I shall vanquish thee yet, furry daemon of the tie!

Upsilon flies high and takes a stab at DK with his spear! The Crimson Crusader manages to block the attack just in time!

CC: I apologize once more, but I cannot allow thee to do that!  
Upsilon: Then feel the wrath of:

_**The Protoines!**_

Upsilon: Come, join me my brethren!

Out of the skies appears a mighty dragon, with a strangely-dressed human wearing a turban and a sea monster of sorts!

Stigma: And to what do we owe thissssss unpleasssssantry?  
Upsilon: My comrades, Sho the Dragon, Stigma the Snake Charmer, and Kappa the Oceanic Beast, I hath found our guilty culprits! Let us slay them together!  
Sho: *roars*  
Stigma: Asssss you wish.  
Kappa: *chuckles gurglishly*  
Yoshi: Well this can't be good. Alright then, bring it on!  
Upsilon: Nay!  
Yoshi: What?  
Upsilon: Thou art not an offender, therefore thou may leave and continue thine climb. The duo here, the one in crimson brilliance, and the furry daemon of the tie, must remain. We shalt not harm those who hath performed no misdeed.  
CC: It's okay, guys. We can take care of them.  
Yoshi: But they have a dragon!  
DK: Uh, yeah.  
CC: Don't worry. Don't you know those old stories? The warrior usually triumphs over the dragon.  
Yoshi: Usually.  
Waluigi: *dropped jaw*  
Wario: *punches Waluigi in the jaw*  
Waluigi: *now slack-jawed*  
CC: Go! We will handle this!

The rest of the heroes leave The Crimson Crusader and DK behind to handle Upsilon and his allies!

CC: Alright then...*draws swords* Let's dance!  
Upsilon: To the death!

...  
Meanwhile, the heroes continue up the mountain side.

Yoshi: Okay, first we have to deal with Bowser, then Mr. L, then Krillen von Roostenheimer, then some random folks, including vampires and mummies, and now Protoines?  
Ghoulman: THIS. ADVENTURE. CONTINUES. TO. BE. REALLY. WEIRD!  
Waluigi: Who do ya think we could run into next?  
Yoshi: Just about near anyone, at this rate.  
?: KWAAAAAAA!  
Yoshi:...can't say I didn't speak too soon...

Out of nowhere appear four humans to block the heroes' path!

?: Halt, fool!  
?2: There will be no passing!  
?3: Or at least not until we get something in good health, yes!  
?4:...  
?: For we are:

_**The Protoines!**_

Yoshi:...I'm starting to hate this world.  
Mario: I'm beginning to think about agreeing with you.  
?: Be consumed by our infernal power!  
?2: Be crushed beneath our mighty fists!  
?3: Be surrounded by the forces that be!  
?4:...  
Yoshi: Who the hell _are_ you guys?  
?: I am Phi, the Flaming-Haired Hotman!  
?2: I am Chi, the Ultimate Fighter!  
?3: I am Psi, Chillax Psychic~  
?4:...San...Magician...

Indeed they are. Phi is a man with flaming hair, whilst Chi is clothed not unlike fighters of a certain popular anime. Psi dresses and looks a lot like Gandhi, and San is...well, clothed like a magician...a very silent magician.

San:...  
Phi: Now bring out your strongest warrior if you wish to pass!  
Chi: There's no sense hiding your strongest powers. I can already sense the energy within each one of you!  
Psi: Ya, and I can read your minds so I know for sure which one it is!  
Phi: Now, Chi, tell us their strongest fighter!  
Chi: Hmm...off of physical appearances, I wouldn't expect some of them to be as strong as they are. In fact, I'm rather surprised. Their strongest fighter is...!

Chi points his finger dramatically towards...Birdo?

Birdo: Me?  
Yoshi: Birdo?  
Waluigi: WHAT THE FU-  
Phi: Boom! Alright, you weird pink dinosaur thing, if you really are the strongest, then prepare yourself for the most competent fighting force in the entire elite squad known as:

_**The Protoines!**_

Yoshi:...that's starting to get on my nerves.  
Birdo: Oh bother, it must be the bracelet I got from the bunnies! They think I'm the strongest cause I'm wearing it!  
Gary: Fantastic! Birdo, this is your chance!  
Birdo: It is?  
Other heroes: It is?  
Gary: Sure! Birdo, if I can transform myself from a useless Goomba into a powerful MagiGoomba, than these guys oughta be a piece of cake for ya, am I right?  
Birdo: Well, I don't know if that follows the same logic...  
Yoshi: Technically, no, it doesn't.  
Birdo:...but ah, what the heck! I'll keep these fellows busy for you guys!  
Yoshi: Thanks Birdo.  
Birdo: Don't mention it, sweetie-pie! 3

Our heroes depart as Birdo faces her new challenge alone! Can she handle the strongest of the strong? Or will she be flattened underneath their awesome power! Find out...once we get through some other story elements and come back to this fight!

...

"Great Leader, sir, it appears we have some uninvited guests upon the mountain."  
"Is that so?"  
"Yeah, but it looks like some of ours guys are taking care of em."  
"Well, so long as they are being split up along the way, we shouldn't run into too much trouble."  
"I concur with your royal assessment."  
"In the meantime, let's see how things pan out."  
"Yes sir!"  
"Oi yeahz, boss!"  
"Absolutely!"

...

Continuing onwards and upwards, our heroes are bamboozled the ever-continuing presence of their somehow new enemies who seem to have come from out of nowhere. Literally.

Yoshi: Seriously, I don't think any of them have even giving us a backstory yet.  
Mario: Knowing how these things turn out, that probably won't happen until we fight this leader of theirs.  
Waluigi: That figures.  
Gary: Hopefully the others are doing alright without us.  
Lucky: First Crimson and DK, and now Birdo. Who might go-  
Yoshi: Shh!  
Lucky: What? I was just gonna say-  
Yoshi: *pointing* Shh!

Yoshi points to a small baby on the ground, sleeping peacefully. Our heroes speak softly and quietly to each other.

Luigi: This is just getting weirder and weirder.  
Gary: I'll say.  
Ghoulman:...  
Yoshi: We need to sneak past it so as not to wake it up.  
Gary: What about actually helping it out?  
Yoshi: Believe me, on a normal day, I would, but since there hasn't been one of those since the story began, I'm going out on a limb and saying otherwise.  
Gary: Fair enough.  
Ghoulman:...  
Yoshi: Alright, remember, sneak quietly.

The heroes carefully tiptoe (or in Ghoulman's case float) by the sleeping baby. An insignia is upon its head shaped like a T.

Lucky: What a curious thing.  
Yoshi: Come to think of it, didn't most of those guys have something like that on them somewhere?  
Mario: Now that you mention it-  
Ghoulman: YES!

Ghoulman's shouting has awakened the baby!

Yoshi: Ghoulman, we said stay quiet and stealthy!  
Ghoulman: NOT. STEALTHY! JUST. QUIET!  
Luigi: Can't you just whisper?  
Ghoulman: NO. NOT. REALLY!  
Luigi: Oh come on, you did it just a chapter ago!  
Aroramage: *Ignoring fourth-wall defiance as he tries mending the shattered remains of the fourth wall*

The baby is crying furiously! The baby starts to grow horns!

Gary: Great! Nice going, Ghoulman! Ya woke the baby up and made it so mad, it started growing horns on its head!  
Luigi: Gary, babies don't grow horns on their heads when they're angry.  
Gary: Oh...oh!...o_O Oh no!  
?: What in the world?

Out of nowhere, a midget appears, covered somewhat with dust and accompanied by rocks that fall away from him! He approaches the baby swiftly and begins to sing it to sleep again.

Midget: Rock a-by, Tau, on the tree top,  
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.  
When the bow brings, the cradle will fall,  
And down will come Tau, cradle and all.

The baby slowly goes back to sleep, the horns regressing into its head. The midget shushes the baby to sleep and lays it aside. Then he turns to face the heroes and goes into a fit of curiously quiet screaming.

Midget: *quietly* WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM? I'M TRYING TO KEEP HIM QUIET, TRYING TO MAKE SURE HE _DOESN'T_ WAKE UP!  
Yoshi: Uh...he's sorry?  
Midget: Yeah, he's sorry alright, now where is he?  
Ghoulman: I'M. SORRY!  
Midget: Will you shush! Honestly, what's wrong with you?  
Yoshi: Believe me, even we don't really know.  
Midget: Bah! Whatever. I'm tasking the ghost with watching the baby now. If you wake him up, so help me-  
?: Rho? Rho, what's going on here?  
?2: Is it a party?  
?3: Or are you being smarmy?

From out of nowhere, three more people appear! One is rather large, nearing giant, while the other two may as well have been one for they were twins.

Rho: Oh, hey, Omicron, Mu, Nu. And no, I'm not being smarmy. You're thinking of "caring" or "protecting" or "saving our asses from that baby" or something like that.  
Omicron: What's all this about?  
Rho: Some no-gooder wanted to play, "Let's wake the baby and see what happens!"  
Yoshi: He said he was sorry.  
Ghoulman: I'M-  
Rho: Believe me, I heard.  
Omicron: Why does he shout?  
Rho: Beats the shit out of me.  
Mu: What an interesting group of folks-  
Nu: Who all look like decent blokes.  
Lucky: I think I should be offended by this.  
Rho: Look, you guys are trying to get to the top, eh?  
Mario: Something like that.  
Rho: Alright then, the rest can go, but the ghost stays here! You're going to watch that baby and make sure he stays asleep.  
Ghoulman: UH-  
Rho: Oh come on, even the expressions are yelled? Look, fine, watch him, but DON'T. SAY. ANYTHING! Got it?  
Ghoulman:...  
Rho: I said, "Got it?"  
Ghoulman: YES. SIR!  
Rho: Bah! Just...watch him, and make sure he stays asleep! The rest of you can leave.

With that, Rho, Omicron, Mu and Nu walk off. Rho takes his place along the cliffside and forms into a rock golem nearly five times his normal size! Omicron nestles himself in a particular area and shifts into a wrecking ball, while the twins perform a small dance and become a rather shiny cow!

Yoshi: You'll be alright Ghoulman?  
Ghoulman: *nods*  
Yoshi: Alright, then. Take care.

The heroes head off once again as Ghoulman hovers over the baby, being watched from the cliffside, the cow, and the out-of-place wrecking ball...

...

"My strategy is working flawlessly. It's almost natural for them to separate."  
"Excellent."  
"According to my calculations, there will hardly be anyone to challenge your leadership at all."  
"Most excellent. Thank you for the report. Now join your fellow team. The rest of them are approaching swiftly."  
"Of course, Great Leader."

...

Our heroes continue to scale the mountain in hopes of possibly _not_ running into someone new that is apart of this crazy crackpot team known as:

_**The Protoines!**_

Yoshi:...et tu, mage?  
?: Who dares wander into my realms with such a dead language on their tongue?  
Yoshi: Oh, what now?

No sooner has Yoshi finished then a trumpet begins to blow. The wielder of the trumpet comes round the corner, revealing himself to be some kind of cyborg.

?2: Presenting his royal kingship and mighty ruler of the Halfway Point of the Mountain, the Great and Powerful King Xi!  
Waluigi: King Kai?  
?2: No, Xi, spelled X-I.  
Waluigi: Oh.  
?: Insolent fools!

Behind the trumpeter appears a number of people. One is dressed in black robes while another's robes are covered in numbers. A third is cloaked entirely, obscuring his face and body in a Van Helsing-esque manner. The final one is dressed royally, certainly as though he were a king, the one known as Xi.

Xi: Who are you men who dare to mock my power?  
Yoshi: Frankly no one.  
Gary: Just your average group of traveling...salesmen!  
Xi: Salesmen?  
Yoshi: Salesmen?  
Waluigi: Salesmen?  
Mario: Salesmen?  
Luigi: Salesmen?  
Wario: Salesmen?  
Aroramage: Salesmen?  
Gary: Salesmen?...uh, oh yeah! Salesmen!  
Xi: And what, pray tell, is it you are selling?  
Gary: Uh...magic?  
Xi: We've got one of those.  
Gary: Awesomeness?  
Xi: We're practically made of the stuff.  
Gary: MagiGoomba-rifficness?  
Xi: What the hell is a MagiGoomba?  
Gary: I'm a MagiGoomba!  
Xi:...you are a terrible salesman.  
Gary: I got that a lot...  
Xi: Enough of this foolishness! I will stop you all here and now!  
Yoshi: So now we have to fight them all?  
#Robe: My liege, I believe we should only take the MagiGoomba. I'm curious as to how such a creature can perform its magical powers.  
BRobe: I agree.  
Xi: Hmm...Pi, are you sure we should do this?  
Pi the #Robe: It is my grand recommendation.  
Xi: Hmm...fine then...Lambda! Sigma! Digamma! Pi! To my side! We shall face the one known as the MagiGoomba and see its true power for ourselves.  
Gary: Well this oughta be good.  
Yoshi: I can't help but feel like this is being done on purpose.  
Waluigi: Who cares? We can take on these jokers one or two at a time! We're the heroes, for crying out loud!  
Mario: He has a point.  
Wario: So when do we get the money?  
Luigi: Debatable.

The other heroes head forth through the mountain, leaving Gary to fend off King Xi and his accomplices. Or minions. Or coworkers. Or slaves. Ah hell, who knows how he feels about them?

And now we bring you back to the people at the bottom of the mountain! After the others had left, the Crimson Crusader and DK began their battle against Upsilon and his beastly crew!

BATTLE 1 START!

Furoes!  
CC: 110 HP, 100 SP  
DK: 120 HP, 105 SP

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 300 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 250 HP, 125 SP  
Stigma: 250 HP, 150 SP  
Sho: 500 HP, 50 SP

CC used Double Slash! He attacks Upsilon and Kappa for 15 and 18 dge respectively! DK punches Sho for 18 dge!

Upsilon stabs at DK for 4 dge! Kappa bites CC for 5 dge! Stigma brings out his mystic flute and plays a tune for 4 SP! He summons two snakes to attack CC & DK for 3 dge each! CC & DK are envenomated!

CC: Enveno-what now?  
Stigma: Foolish fool! I have poisssssssoned you! You now have a ssssssteady amount of venom in your veinssssss, and oncccccce enough has been injected, you will instantly die!  
DK: Oh no!

Sho roars loudly and claws at CC and DK for 12 dge each!

Furoes!  
CC: 90 HP, 100 SP *envenomated 1*  
DK: 101 HP, 105 SP *envenomated 1*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 285 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 232 HP, 125 SP  
Stigma: 250 HP, 146 SP  
Sho: 482 HP, 50 SP

CC: I think it's time for some Team Attacks, DK!  
DK: Alright!

CC & DK use up 9 SP! DK charges a barrel while CC ignites both his swords! CC jumps into the barrel! DK charges up the barrel to maximum power! DK blasts a spiraling CC towards the enemy! A flaming tornado hits them all for 48 dge! Sho takes only 24 dge due to its fire element!

DK: The Burn-Buster Blaster!  
CC: BBB...those initials seem familiar somehow...oh well!

Upsilon flies high into the air! Kappa dives into the nearby pool of water! Stigma uses 7 SP to summon snakes! The snakes wrap around his body, shielding him from harm! Sho takes a huge breath!

Furoes!  
CC: 90 HP, 91 SP *envenomated 1*  
DK: 101 HP, 96 SP *envenomated 1*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 237 HP, 100 SP *in the air!*  
Kappa: 184 HP, 125 SP *in the sea!*  
Stigma: 202 HP, 146 SP *in some snakes!*  
Sho: 458 HP, 50 SP *intake breath!*

CC uses 7 SP for Crimson Fury! He slashes furiously at Sho for 18+17+19+18+19+22 dge! DK brings out a Banana Peel and throws it on the ground!

Upsilon skydives on top of DK for 17 dge! Kappa drinks water and replenishes 25 HP! Stigma uses the flute to command the snakes to form a snake whip! He lashes at CC for 3 dge! CC is even more envenomated! Sho breathes out fire, burning the duo for 27 dge! CC takes 2 dge from the poison!

Furoes!  
CC: 58 HP, 74 SP *envenomated 2*  
DK: 54 HP, 96 SP *envenomated 1*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 237 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 209 HP, 125 SP *in the sea!*  
Stigma: 202 HP, 146 SP *in some snakes!*  
Sho: 345 HP, 50 SP

Meanwhile, a little ways up the mountain...

Birdo is facing off against Phi, Chi, Psi, and San! But not all at once.

Phi: Since you are the strongest of your companions, we shall challenge you to one-on-one duels! In these matches, we shall unleash our full power within the attack and charge headfirst.  
Chi: Think of it as jousting, only with your fists.  
Birdo: Oh, so if I knock you guys down, I win?  
Phi: Yes. Best two out of three per person. If you knock them out completely - or vice versa - then the one standing wins the match.  
Psi: This'll be good, I can tell.  
Phi: I'll start off!  
Birdo: Alright then, bring it on!

Birdo and Phi take their respective places across from each other, a good distance separating them. Then they face each other and wait for the moment. Psi, Chi, and San stand off to the side, Psi and Chi watching while San raises his hand in the air.

San: The moment I swing down, you come at each other full force, got it?  
Birdo: Absolutely!  
Phi: Right on!

A tense moment. Hardly any movement occurs amidst the group. San keeps his hand held high, as Birdo and Phi stare each other down. A simple wind blows through the field, fluttering the capes of the Protoines and Birdo's bow. Then, at the very moment the wind dies down-

San's hand disappeared! Phi charges! Birdo charges! The two collide and-

Gary stands his ground, prepared to fight off the threat of King Xi and his brethren. And so the battle begins!

BATTLE 2 START!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 100 HP, 110 SP

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 300 HP, 175 SP  
Lambda: 250 HP, 175 SP  
Pi: 150 HP, 250 SP  
Sigma: 300 HP, 100 SP  
Digamma: 200 HP, 200 SP

Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! He lets out a mighty yell against the enemy hitting them for 18 dge each!

Xi: Men, it's time to slay that magician!

Xi brings out two mighty broadswords! He swings with great strength at Gary! Gary narrowly dodges the attack! Lambda follows up with several daggers being thrown out from his traveler's cloak! Gary gets hit for 7 dge! Pi uses 5 SP to make a Circle Charm! He encircles the field within a magic...circle! A barrier surrounds the known arena! None can get in or out!

Gary: Well crap...

Sigma touches Lambda! Sigma copies Lambda's powers! Digamma uses 5 SP to create a cloud of shadows and disappear!

The Circle Charm is still active! Countdown: 5 turns.

Solo Magician!*  
Gary: 100 HP, 107 SP

Protoine Kingdom!*  
Xi: 282 HP, 175 SP  
Lambda: 232 HP, 175 SP  
Pi: 132 HP, 245 SP  
Sigma: 282 HP, 100 SP  
Digamma: 182 HP, 195 SP (gone!)

*trapped within the Circle Charm!

Gary: Okay, then. All I need to do is survive for 5 turns, and then the charm will break! I hope I can make it till then.

Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Xi for 32 dge!

Xi: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Sigma, come to me!

Xi grabs Sigma and drains him of his HP! Xi recovers 50 HP! Sigma loses 50 HP! Lambda strikes at Gary for 17 dge! Pi uses 5 SP for a Triangle Charm! He traps Gary within a triangle and paralyzes him for the turn! Sigma slashes at Gary for 18 dge! Digamma appears from the shadows and strangles Gary's shadow! Gary is strangled and takes 13 dge!

The Circle Charm is still active! Countdown: 4 turns.

Solo Magician!*  
Gary: 52 HP, 107 SP

Protoine Kingdom!*  
Xi: 300 HP, 175 SP  
Lambda: 232 HP, 175 SP  
Pi: 132 HP, 245 SP  
Sigma: 232 HP, 100 SP  
Digamma: 182 HP, 195 SP (gone!)

*trapped within the Circle Charm!

Gary: This isn't going to go well...

Meanwhile, a little lower on the mountain...

We find Ghoulman floating over the baby Tau, a bored look over his face, completely aware of the ever watchful eyes of the rock wall, the shiny cow, and the out-of-place wrecking ball. Whispy earbuds can be seen coming from what may have been ears in his lifetime, connected to a ghostly iPod. Ghoulman turns the track to "Eye of the Tiger" and begins to play it at maximum volume. However, because ghosts technically lack ears, the sound travel and reverberates through Ghoulman's body and is emitted as white noise.

Rho: Hey, hey! Ghost! Stop it! Turn off that music!  
Ghoulman: WHAT?  
Rho: And why can't you whisper? Seriously, what's wrong with you?  
Omicron: Whoa, Rho, chill.  
Rho: No! I've just about had it with this specter! I'M GONNA-  
Mu: Shhhh! You don't want to-  
Nu: -wake up Tau, do you?

Everyone looks at the surprisingly sleeping baby. Ghoulman turns, "Eye of the Tiger" off.

Rho: Thanks.  
Ghoulman: No prob.  
?: WEE-HEE!

Out of nowhere, an Ukiki appears!

Ukiki: Oo-ee! Wassup, duuuuuuudes?  
Rho: WHAT IN BLAZES?  
Ukiki: Ukiki want to play! Will you play? We would like to play!  
Ghoulman: WHAAAAAAAAAT?  
Ukiki: Ukiki Bro, I found new friends!  
Ukiki2: Oooo! Let me play!

A second Ukiki jumps down and on top of the baby Tau! It scampers over to its fellow Ukiki!

Ukiki: Oooo, so good to see you!  
Ukiki2: Good to see you too!  
Ukiki: Look at the new friends!  
Ukiki2: Never saw them before!  
Rho: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BLEEDING MINDS?  
Ukiki: No, they up in our heads, silly!  
Ukiki2: What a hardhead.  
Rimshot: BA-DUM, CH!  
Omicron: Easy, Rho.  
Rho: DAMMIT, WHEN WILL KARMA STOP KICKING ME IN THE ASS?  
Ukiki: What's a karma?  
SCP: It's a type of story!  
Aroramage: GET OUT OF MINE!  
SCP: Ehehehehehe!  
Omicron: Listen, Rho, it's okay. The one time was just a fluke!  
Rho: Not that, the other time! When I ran into that-  
Omicron: Oh, that! Look, Rho, what's done is done-  
Rho: But it continues to torture me so!  
Omicron: I know, and our leader knows.  
Rho: I know he knows, dammit!  
Ukiki: Whatcha chatting about?  
Rho: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, YOU DAMN DIRTY...  
Ukiki: Well, that's not very nice. Ukiki Bro, what do you thi-

The poor Ukiki, amidst the conversation, has failed to notice his fellow Ukiki within the past few moments, and now stares into the deceased face of one very surprised Ukiki. Its head remains limp over the terrifying horn piercing its body. And behind the body, a bloodshot eye glares angrily into the poor Ukiki's terrified face. A gruesome hand reaches out and grasps the Ukiki and throws it into the air, towards the skies and out into the vast unknown!

Ghoulman: WHAT. THE. HELL?  
Rho: Afraid _that's_ why we keep him asleep.

Standing before Ghoulman and the other Protoines is a fully-enraged minotaur, its beastly arms bulging with muscles, its hooves pawing the ground mercilessly from all four legs.

Ghoulman: WHAT. THE. HELL?  
Rho: Tau transforms himself into this whenever he's awake. A raging mix between minotaur and centaur, if you will. Head of bull, torso of man, lower body of horse. Downright ugly, but effective.  
Ghoulman: o_O

Tau roars fiercely! Tau charges into the fight!

BATTLE 3 START!

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 125 HP, 90 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Omicron: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Mu: 150 HP, 0 SP  
Nu: 150 HP, 0 SP

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 900 HP, 0 SP

Tau charges through everyone! Ghoulman uses Transparency to defend himself and prevent him from taking damage! Rho, Omicron, Mu, and Nu get trampled for 38 dge each!

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 125 HP, 90 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 162 HP, 0 SP  
Omicron: 162 HP, 0 SP  
Mu: 112 HP, 0 SP  
Nu: 112 HP, 0 SP

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 900 HP, 0 SP

Ghoulman: HOLY. SHIT!  
Rho: Oh, this? This is just how he is. Listen, Ghoulman was it? If you could, ya know, help us beat him, that would be much obliged.  
Ghoulman: F***. THAT!  
Rho: Listen, once he's like this, there's no stopping him without beating him down. If you don't help us now, he may very well tear apart the entire mountain. Please, Ghoulman, I know I was a bit of an asshole before, but ya've gotta understand, we really-  
Ghoulman: LET'S. DO. THIS!  
Rho: Oh...okay! Didn't think you'd agree so fast...

And so Ghoulman, in his misfortune, must now help subdue the terrifying Tau before he wrecks apart the entire mountain, something that not even the Protoines want...

Meanwhile, a little further up the mountain...

We find our remaining heroes - Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and Lucky - climbing up the mountain and progressing towards the top as per usual.

Yoshi: So yeah, I'm pretty sure the others are doing just fine.  
Mario: I figure that, but whose to say really?  
Luigi: Look, bro, again, I can reassure you that they're okay.  
Mario: Yeah, but need I remind you of what happened the last time?  
Waluigi: What happened last time?  
Wario: Ugh, why are we even talking about this?  
Luigi: It happens to be a very important discussion!  
Wario: What, talking about whether the spaghetti's good still or not?

...oh, is THAT what you guys were talking about...

Lucky: Well, at least the others are doing alright.  
Yoshi: Yeah, the echoey explosions definitely give me some reassurance that they're alright.  
Lucky: Good to hear!  
Yoshi:...that's not what I meant.  
?: Must you halt?

A massive earthy hand obstructs the heroes' path!

?: What's your business?  
Yoshi: Uh, get to the top of the mountain?  
?: Why?  
Mario: Because we want the Power Stars?  
?: Why?  
Luigi: So we can beat Bowser and save the castle?  
?: Why?  
Waluigi:...cause it's the right thing to do?  
?: Why?  
Wario: Cause I'm-a gonna beat the stuffing out of ya in a few minutes!  
?: Why?  
Lucky: Where are you, anyway?  
?: Where do you think?

Out of the palm of the hand appears a man coated in dirt, a muddy trench coat billowing behind him as he exits.

?: Perhaps you know who we are?  
Yoshi: Another Protoine!  
?: Perhaps you know me as Theta?  
Lucky: Technically, we've never met.  
Theta: Is that so? Have you met my friends?  
Mario: If you mean the other ones, yeah, we may have run into them.  
?: Oh yeah! We've finally got company!

Out of the skies appear three new Protoines. One is composed of fans and flies another armed with what appear to be cannons attached by hoses to its back to the ground. The third, a creepy alien-ish being, mysteriously levitates in the air nearby.

Fans: Hoo-rah! Let's get right down to it!  
Cannons: We are the Protoines known as Zeta, Theta, Eta, and Sampi.  
Waluigi: C-C-C-Combo breaker!  
Cannons: I am Sampi, you've met Theta, Eta is the fellow with the fans there-  
Eta: Sup, bitches!  
Sampi: And Zeta is our colleague here.  
Zeta: Go to hell.  
Yoshi: Good grief, this just gets better and better, doesn't it?  
Sampi: We're here to stop your progress.  
Theta: Can I agree with this?  
Eta: Oh yeah!  
Zeta: Bring forth the challenger.  
Yoshi: Hoo boy...  
Lucky: I've got these guys.  
Mario: You sure?  
Lucky: Yep. No way they're gonna beat me!  
Waluigi: Alright! Go get em, Lucky!  
Yoshi: Come on, let's keep going.

Lucky stays behind to fight off Zeta, Theta, Eta, and Sampi while the others continue up the mountain side...

...

...  
"Thar advance continues, Supreme Leader."  
"No matter. The stragglers are being taken care of. There won't be very much left."  
"My Leader, art thou certain of this? I do not wish to doubt your plan, and yet-"  
"Let it not concern you. Simply do your given task, and all will work itself out."  
"Yes, Leader."  
"Dammit, when do I get to pop an eye or two out?"  
"Don't worry about it, pardner. We'll get our shot. Just look where the varmin are at now."  
"Yes...watch the rats as they scurry up the pipe..."

...  
...

In the depths of a darkened castle, a secret meeting is held that could determine the very fate of our heroes. The council includes Bowser, King of the Koopas and the current head of the attack on Peach's Castle; Mr. L, technological doppleganger recently turned madman; and Krillen von Roostenheimer, formerly known as the Kellogg's Rooster, now undead magical gentleman.

The door opens and in walks ?, as calm as ever. He crosses the room to his own chair on the far side nearest the archaic window.

?: Thank you, gentlemen, for meeting me here on such short notice.  
Bowser: Grah, what's this about anyway? I've been doing just fine in keeping Peach's Castle under my control, thank you very much!  
?: Sadly, recent affairs do not back up your words. I'm sorry that's how it is.  
Mr. L: Please, master, what is it you wished us to come here for?  
KR: I agree, I'm very curious as to what this is all about.  
?: Yes, we must get to the heart of the matter.

? raises his hand, bringing out a rather large crystal orb in the center of the table, a cloudy fog swirling about the inside.

?: Gentlemen, I won't be able to put it any other way, but we are in fact in a crisis.

The clouds disperse to reenact the events of Cackletta's elimination at Big Boo's Haunt.

?: We've lost a number of great allies. Cackletta has, so to speak, given up the ghost and retired to the afterlife permanently.

The clouds swirl about and reveal Dark Hokempokemweh of the Desert.

?: And the ancient pharaoh whom I'd hoped would be of greater service to us than he was has gone completely AWOL. There's no telling if he'll ever show up again.

The clouds fill up the orb once more and dissipate to reveal the royal species, Goomboss, the Big Bob-omb, King Boo, and Chief Chilly.

?: Not to mention the failures of your "friends," Bowser, have not improved our chances by much.  
Bowser: But they're my best guys!  
?: Moving along...

Again, the clouds swirl about and reveal Team Sandwich and The Protoines.

?: And now we have these teams to worry about. More complications to the overarching plan, as they were.  
Mr. L: Who are they exactly?  
?: The larger is known as the Protoines. They're currently impeding upon the heroes' progress over in Tall, Tall Mountain, and they are not currently aligned with us. I hope to determine their abilities and perhaps convince them of joining our cause. The other is more of an idiotic nuisance.  
KR: Then it's nothing to worry about.  
?: Unfortunately, that is not the case either. Stupidity has always been a useful weapon of good and evil, whether expendable or not. Their idiocy may unfortunately prove as much a liability as an asset. They are unpredictable, and therefore they are dangerous.  
Bowser: I don't get why a bunch of food is dangerous.  
?: Case and point.  
Bowser: Huh?  
?: But I digress...

The clouds form and enshroud the orb.

?: Our misfortune with allies is not all we have to worry about.

The clouds disperse, revealing the Super Gauntlet.

?: The Elemental Gauntlet has fallen into their hands and is slowly being pieced back together.  
KR: So close to completion, yet so far I'm sure.  
?: So long as the last piece is in our possession, though, they will never complete it, and that will be one less thing to worry about.

The orb is filled with swirling clouds once again.

?: And now, Mr. L, I expect some good news to come from all of this. How much time left before the weapon is ready?  
Mr. L: As I've mentioned before, the technological backing behind the device is vastly complicated, but I have been testing the capabilities of the machine with what Power Stars we have. So far, I've been able to eliminate trivial things such as apples and biscuits-  
KR: I wondered where all my scones were going!  
Mr. L:...yes, well, in any case it has proven successful in eradicating such small objects, yet I've no notion of what else it can eliminate. I've set up some robotic dummies for my next set of trials, but I would be very much inclined to try my experiments on more, shall we say, "live" specimens.  
?: Perhaps Bowser would be willing to look for some volunteers?  
Bowser: Wait, why do I have to serve under Greenie here? This is outrageous!  
?: You were willing to serve under me. You were willing to submit to my will. I expect you would be willing to handle such a small task.  
Bowser: Yeah, but I never agreed to any of these partners you keep bringing in! I never agreed to giving away troops like they were bags of candy! I never agreed to any of this!  
?: Are you questioning my authority?  
Bowser: I'm not questioning the authority of anyone! I'm getting ready to punch out whoever suggests I should give up more than I have already!  
KR: Oh do calm yourself, ol boy, you're making such a fuss over nothing!  
Bowser: I'll show you a fuss over nothing!

Bowser leaps out and attempts to pound Krillen! But he's intercepted by several mechanical legs! Bowser is ensnared within the arms of Brobot L-Force!

Mr. L: Bowser, Bowser, Bowser, you forget who your associates are. Don't you know the basic rule of survival is, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"?  
KR: Either that, or, "Survival of the fittest," or something to that effect.  
?: It doesn't particularly matter. Bowser, you expect that there is a certainty involved that perhaps involves a certain loss. Yet that is not the case. Please, be seated.

Bowser is delicately placed back into his chair by the arms of Brobot L-Force. He grumbles a bit before settling down.

?: You see, it is for our best interests that we take every possible route in what we can do with our newest machine. If we did not experiment on living beings, and we were then to try and use them against a hostage or a hero, then we would not be able to know the limits of our machine and what we can do to bypass those limits. If we don't do what is necessary, then we can't go beyond what we've already done, and we've done so much already. We've come this far, and I don't plan on giving that up just because you're not willing to send a couple of valiant young soldiers to assist us.  
Bowser:...

Bowser remains quiet, stumped. Mr. L muses while Krillen sips some tea out of a teacup. Bowser looks at them before turning back to ?.

Bowser:...fine. But I won't like it.  
?: You never had to. You're dismissed.

Bowser gets up slowly and crosses over to the door, giving one last final glare towards Mr. L and Krillen before exiting the room.

?: And now, we can discuss something that bothers me more than anything else right now.

The clouds within the orb swirl about again and reveal the faces of Mario, Luigi, Peach, Donkey Kong, Wario, Yoshi, and Bowser.

?: The Seven Star Children...

...

...  
...

A peaceful mountain. Nothing out of the ordinary, not a care in the world, not a terrible thing that could basically determine the fate of the entire multiverse or anything like that going on. Just a nice, calm, relaxing mountain.

This is not the scene of where our heroes fight the Protoines.

The scene of where the heroes clash with their newest enemy is on Tall, Tall Mountain, now more like Tall, Dark, Tall, Scary Mountain. Or something to that effect. But anyways, when we last left off-

ROARRRR!

CC uses Double Slash on Sho for 2 SP! He hits Sho for a total CRITICAL 74 dge, severely injuring the dragon! DK punches Stigma for 19 dge!

Upsilon spears CC for 12 dge! Kappa fires a Water Gun at DK! DK takes 7 dge and is soaked! Stigma lashes snakes at DK for 9 dge! DK is even more envenomated! Sho takes in a deep breath!

CC: Curses, he's going to strike again!  
DK: I don't think we'll be able to take him out next turn!  
CC: We'll need some recovery items soon!

Furoes!  
CC: 46 HP, 72 SP *envenomated 2*  
DK: 47 HP, 96 SP *envenomated 2* *soaked*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 237 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 209 HP, 125 SP *in the sea!*  
Stigma: 183 HP, 146 SP *in some snakes!*  
Sho: 271 HP, 50 SP *deep breath*

DK: At the rate things are going, we're going to need an antidote, too!

CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He furiously slashes at Upsilon and Sho for 37 and 59 dge respectively! DK uses Banana Grove for 3 SP! He summons out a grove of bananas to help him and CC recover 45 HP!

Upsilon: You foul evildoers will never escape our grasp! Face the wrath of the Protoines!

Upsilon strikes at DK with his spear for 7 dge! Kappa splashes around in the water! Stigma shoots a snake at CC but misses! Sho shoots out lightning at CC and DK for 27 dge each!

Furoes!  
CC: 64 HP, 65 SP *envenomated 2*  
DK: 58 HP, 93 SP *envenomated 2* *soaked*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 200 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 209 HP, 125 SP *in the sea!*  
Stigma: 183 HP, 146 SP *in some snakes!*  
Sho: 212 HP, 50 SP

DK: I hope we get some help soon!  
CC: We will, DK. Hopefully, we will.

BOOM

A furious clash of energy is released! A burning aura surrounds Phi as an equally powerful aura surrounds Birdo! The auras conflict and battle!

Birdo: Wait, what are we supposed to do?  
Phi: Our fight will be determined by the strength of your aura! For now, we are equals, but we can keep going back and forth until one of us becomes exhausted. It's all a matter of focusing the energy!

Phi makes his aura more intense! The flames press down on Birdo, weakening her aura!

Phi: See how this works?  
Birdo: So if I do this-

Birdo forcefully pushes her aura around Phi's!

Phi: Whee! Impressive! Guess that means I shouldn't hold back!

The two auras begin to envelop the two in a fierce glow! Phi pushes down on Birdo's aura with his own, then Birdo forces his back with a burst of strength! The auras return to neutrality as neither gives up! Then Phi slowly eases on with his advantage! Birdo struggles to keep the aura from enveloping her!

Just as it seems Phi is about to trap Birdo with his burning aura, Birdo musters enough strength to fight back! Suddenly, her aura begins to beat back at Phi's aura until she gains the advantage!

Phi: Whoa! Looks like ya got more fight in ya than I'd have thought!  
Birdo: Why's that?  
Phi: Well, being a girl, I was pretty surprised you were the strongest and stuff, not to mention-  
Birdo: EXCUSE ME? BEING A GIRL?

Birdo's aura amplifies immensely! The aura pounds Phi's aura - and Phi with it - quite literally into the ground! The match ends!

Phi is at the bottom of a small crater, dazed and completely wiped. Birdo twirls and strikes a pose!

Birdo: That'll teach you not to underestimate me!  
Phi: Classic lesson relearned...

San approaches Phi and bends down over him.

Phi: Well San, looks like I'm out of it. Psi should go next.  
San:...understood...  
Phi: Alright...see ya...

San grabs Phi and carries him out of the crater. When he sets Phi down, Phi draws his last breath.

Birdo: Oh my.  
Chi: Such is the way of the Protoines. We give our lives for our cause.  
Psi: Well then, I understand it's my turn then?

Psi approaches the circle and sits down.

Psi: You may start at any time.  
Birdo: Um...are you sure you don't want to...ya know...

As she says this, Phi's body disintegrates into dust.

Birdo: Oh my...  
Psi: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Protoines to Protoines. Our comrade's body may be gone, but his power is still very much alive.  
Birdo: That's so touching, so deep.  
Psi: And perfect for enjoying my meal of onion-and-banana juice!

Psi takes out a wooden bowl filled with a strange juice. He lifts it into the air and drinks it down.

Birdo:...eww...  
Psi: Don't knock it till ya try it!  
Birdo:...ewwwww...  
Psi: Shall we begin?  
Birdo:...ewwwwwwwwwww...  
Psi: Oh it's not _that_ bad.  
Birdo:...ewwwwwwww-  
Psi: Enough of this!

Psi uses his mind to manipulate Birdo into shutting the hell up!

Birdo: *muffled*  
Psi: I know. Just fight me already!  
Birdo: *determined muffle*

Birdo charges the Power Gauntlet while Psi charges his mind! And then-

MOOOOOOO

The wild Tau is rampaging about the mountainside, leaving behind him a path of pure destruction in his wake! Ghoulman uses 2 SP and summons two Pink Boos, chews them up, and creates the Ghost Blade! He slashes at Tau for 17 dge! Rho transforms into his Rock Golem form! He uses his turn to create jagged rocks from his skin! Omicron transforms into his Wrecking Ball form! He equips himself to Rho! Mu and Nu transform into their Shining Demon form! They breathe out a toxic gas towards Tau in order to poison him! Tau is unaffected! Tau rampages into the others, inflicting 34 dge to everyone! Tau is hurt by Rho's jagged rocks and takes 3 dge!

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 91 HP, 88 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 128 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 128 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 78 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Demon)  
Nu: 78 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Demon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 880 HP, 0 SP *rampaging!*

Ghoulman slashes at Tau with the Ghost Blade for 18 dge! Rho swings Omicron into Tau for 48 dge! Mu and Nu claw at Tau for 12 dge! Tau rampages into the others inflicting 32 dge to each! Tau is hurt by Rho's jagged rocks and takes 3 dge!

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 88 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Demon)  
Nu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Demon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 799 HP, 0 SP *rampaging!*

Rho: Oh boy, at this rate, Tau's going to crush everything and everyone in sight!  
Ghoulman: ISN'T. THERE. A. WAY. TO. PUT. HIM. BACK. TO. SLEEP?  
Rho: This IS the way to put him back to sleep!  
Ghoulman:...ISN'T. THERE. A. BETTER. WAY. TO-  
Rho: NO.  
Omicron: Might I suggest a Team Attack?  
Rho: What, like we pair up and-  
Omicron: Actually, more of we all gang up and attack him at once.  
Rho: What technique could we possibly...no...you don't mean-  
Omicron: If it will subdue the beast.  
Rho: But we need five people for that! And Tau's usually our...

Rho looks over at Ghoulman, wielding the Ghost Blade, a dramatic wind suddenly breezing by his ghostly lack-of-hair...or body.

Rho: Wait, where'd that wind come from?  
Omicron: RHO!  
Rho: Gah, fine! Ghoulman!  
Ghoulman: WHAT?  
Rho: Join us in our attack! We'll teach you the basics, hopefully be able to take down this beast!  
Mu: Help us, Obi-Wan-Ke-Ghoulman!  
Nu: You're our only hope, man!  
Ghoulman: THAT. WASN'T. EVEN. SUBTLE!  
Aroramage: Oh give it a rest.  
Ghoulman:...LET'S. DO. THIS!  
Rho: Alright, it's not easy, and I don't expect this to be easy on ya, especially cause you've never done this before, so don't be surprised if-  
O/M/N: RHO!  
Rho: I'm getting there! Alright, Ghoulman, listen carefully! The way this works is...

And so Rho explains to Ghoulman the Team Attack that will be used against the fearsome Tau, or else the fate of the mountain may very well-

KRACKA-BOOM

Gary releases a mighty Lightning Roar for 3 SP! He shoots lightning out at Xi for 34 dge!

Xi: Foolish magician! Prepare yourself for doom!

Xi uses his Magical Crown for 5 SP! He empowers the techniques of the other Protoines while draining them each of 50 HP! Xi fully recovers! Lambda throws shuriken at Gary, but Gary narrowly dodges them! Pi uses 5 SP for a Square Charm! He surrounds the team with the barrier, recovering 15 HP! Sigma uses 3 SP for Lightning Roar! He electrocutes Gary for 17 dge! Digamma comes out from the shadows and strangles Gary for 13 dge!

The Circle Charm is still active! Countdown: 3 turns  
The Square Charm is still active! Countdown: 3 turns

Solo Magician!*  
Gary: 35 HP, 104 SP

Protoine Kingdom!*  
Xi: 300 HP, 170 SP  
Lambda: 197 HP, 175 SP  
Pi: 97 HP, 240 SP  
Sigma: 197 HP, 97 SP  
Digamma: 147 HP, 195 SP (gone!)

*trapped within the Circle Charm!

Gary: Oh man, I've gotta get something out of the book!

Gary uses the Magic Book of Spells! He looks for a new spell!

Gary: What spell would help me now...wait! This will do it!

Gary uses a new spell for 9 SP!

Xi: Use whatever spells you desire, magician! But now we shall obliterate you! Go my companions, for now we claim this victory in the name of the Protoines!

Xi brings out his broadsword and slashes at Gary! Gary is hacked away!

Xi: What more can you do now that you're dead, now that you're finished, now that you're-

Gary poofs into smoke and disappears!

Xi:...gone? What is this?  
Gary: I'm not gone!

Suddenly, the Protoines have realized that they are surrounded by Garys!

Gary: I'm all around you!  
Gary: Nothing to hide here!  
Gary: What's a matter, you miss me?  
Xi: What is this magic?  
All Garys: The Fake Cloning Spell!  
Pi: Sir, I've heard of this spell! Oh, great, we'll never know which one is the real one!  
Xi: Then we just blast them all!  
Pi: If I may, I think I have a counterspell for this, but it's going to take some time to work out.  
Xi: How long?  
Pi: Perhaps three turns.  
Xi: Then lets do it.

Lambda strikes a Gary, only to have it explode! Lambda takes 15 dge!

Xi: What?  
Pi: Oh my, this is a very good Fake Cloning. It's even got some exploding ones!

Pi begins work on a counterspell! Sigma attacks a Gary, only to have it disappear! Digamma attacks a Gary, only to have it disappear! The Square Charm heals the Protoines for 15 HP! Digamma reappears!

The Circle Charm is still active! Countdown: 2 turns  
The Square Charm is still active! Countdown: 2 turns

Solo Magician!*  
Gary: 35 HP, 95 SP (cloned!)

Protoine Kingdom!*  
Xi: 300 HP, 170 SP  
Lambda: 197 HP, 175 SP  
Pi: 112 HP, 240 SP (working on counterspell!)  
Sigma: 212 HP, 97 SP  
Digamma: 162 HP, 195 SP

*trapped within the Circle Charm!

The Garys use 5 SP for Toxic Devour! The Garys become ravenous and attack the Protoines!

Xi: Protect me, my minions!

But to no avail, as the Garys have latched themselves onto all of them, including Xi! The multiple Garys cause each of the Protoines 46 dge each! Lambda is burned! Sigma's defenses lower! Digamma is burned!

Xi: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Sigma! To me!

Xi drains Sigma of 46 HP, recovering fully! Lambda strikes at a Gary, only to have it disappear! Pi continues working on the counterspell! Sigma attacks a Gary, only to have it explode on him for 15 dge! Digamma attacks a Gary, only to have it explode on him for 15 dge! The Square Charm heals the Protoines for 15 HP! Lambda and Digamma take 10 dge for their burns!

The Circle Charm is still active! Countdown: 1 turn  
The Square Charm is still active! Countdown: 1 turn

Solo Magician!*  
Gary: 35 HP, 90 SP (cloned!)

Protoine Kingdom!*  
Xi: 300 HP, 170 SP  
Lambda: 141 HP, 175 SP (burned!)  
Pi: 66 HP, 240 SP (working on counterspell!)  
Sigma: 120 HP, 97 SP (lowered defense!)  
Digamma: 106 HP, 195 SP (burned!)

*trapped within the Circle Charm!

Gary: Looks like I just turned the whole tide of this battle!  
Xi: So you say! Yet you will have yet to topple any of us!  
Gary: Well then, let's change that up, shall we?

Meanwhile, further up the mountainside...

WHOA

...this transition was actually pretty normal!

Anyways, Lucky now faces off against his own army of Protoines!

BATTLE 4 START!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 105 SP

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Magic Mirror Charm to set up a reflective barrier around himself!

Sampi shoots out water throw his Hydro Cannons at Lucky! The barrier deflects the water! Theta lifts a boulder and throws it at Lucky! The barrier deflects the boulder! Eta creates a fierce wind with his fans! The barrier deflects the wind! Zeta focuses his mind!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 102 SP

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP (focusing!)

Sampi: It appears to be a powerful reflecting barrier.  
Theta: Can we get past it?  
Sampi: We may not be able to get past the barrier. It is very sturdy.  
Eta: Dammit! We gotta beat this fool!  
Zeta: Calm yourself.

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Red Balloon Charm to float off the ground!

Theta: Could he be trying to escape my grasp?  
Lucky: You ask a lot of questions.  
Theta: Isn't that the only thing I can do?

Sampi shoots water out of his Hydro Cannons at Lucky! The barrier deflects the attack! Theta digs into the ground! Eta charges at the barrier and slashes at it with his Fan Blades! The barrier deflects the blows! Zeta concentrates on Lucky and fires a Psychic Wave! The barrier deflects the wave attack! Zeta reabsorbs the wave to protect the other Protoines!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 102 SP (floating!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP (underground!)  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Sampi: It seems we are at an impasse.  
Lucky: Not for long!  
Eta: Yeah, man, not for long!  
Zeta: Prepare yourself.

Meanwhile, even further up the mountain...

We find the final five heroes - Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi - continuing on their quest to scale the heights of the mountain. Steadily, the skies grow ever darker, the path more treacherous, and the lightning more...frequent.

Yoshi: Wait, how did we miss the lightning? And wasn't it sunny down near the base of the mountain?  
Mario: Come to think of it, I think it was.  
Waluigi: Where are we headed?  
Luigi: Hold up, guys.  
Mario: What is it Luigi?  
Luigi: It's been bugging me for a while now, but if my memory's right, this place shouldn't be this tall.  
Wario: Whaddya mean? Like I didn't have to walk about _half_ of that?  
Luigi: Guys, I think this _is_ the top of the mountain.  
Yoshi: Right here?

The heroes turn the last corner, and sure enough it is the top of the mountain. Now residing on the top is a building, one from ancient times with mighty stone pillars and a magnificent carving above it depicting a great many warriors surrounding a single person in the center with his arms outstretched.

Yoshi: Is it just me, or do some of those guys look familiar?  
Waluigi: Whatchu talkin' bout, Yoshi?  
Mario: Wait a minute, he's right! Look over there on the far left!

The others follow to where Mario is pointing towards a character who wields a spear and appears to be half-man and half-bird.

Luigi: Upsilon.  
Wario: Who?  
Yoshi: And there's Sho!  
Mario: That looks like Psi!  
Waluigi: And is that...that one guy...with the cow...the shiny cow!  
Luigi: The twins are next to him, that's actually Rho.  
Waluigi:...whoa...  
Yoshi: This shows all of the Protoines!  
Mario: Which means this-  
?: -must not be any of your business, honestly.

A scrawny old man in a lab coat walks out from behind the pillars and turns towards the heroes.

?: And just who do you think you are, waltzing up to our home uninvited?  
Waluigi: We're here for the Power Stars, and we're not taking no for an answer!  
?: Hmm, well, let me think about that, no you're not.  
Waluigi: Oh, well fine, maybe we'll just leave-PSYCHE! I said, "we're not taking no for an answer"!  
?: And I heard that. I'm not deaf, ya know.  
Waluigi: Well you could've been!  
?: Not behind that pillar there.  
Waluigi:...maybe you're good at reading lips!  
?: Not behind that pillar there.  
Waluigi:...you could've been peeking.  
?: Whatever. I've had enough of your nonsense anyway. Delta! Epsilon! Koppa! Heta! Come out, my fellows.

From behind the other pillars appear four cyborgs, each with a unique trait about them. One carries triangular shields, another is equipped with a transformer on its back, one with a sleek and shiny body, and the last with what appear to be laser guns for hands.

?: You now stand before Delta, Epsilon, Koppa, Heta, and Iota of the Protoines.  
Wario: Wait, wait, wait, wait...which one's Iota?  
?: That would be me, you simpleton. Iota, great technical genius behind many of the cybernetic Protoines and thus creator of many of them.  
Yoshi: That would explain a number of them.  
Iota: As per my instructions from the leader, I am to let three of you pass while the remaining two will fight me and my creations.  
Mario: Perhaps Luigi and I should handle these guys.  
Luigi: We can take em.  
Iota: Hmm, well you do seem more competent than the lanky man, the dinosaur, and the fat and ugly one smelling strongly of onions.  
Waluigi: OH NO YOU DON'T!

Waluigi suddenly leaps forward and points directly at Iota!

Waluigi: Listen, you pretentious sonuvabitch, I don't give a flying Cheep-Cheep's hoot about your ego, your insults, or your bad taste in clothing! But when you go talking like you're better than a lanky man and his fat ugly brother who smells strongly of onions, then it's GO TIME!  
Wario:...I don't smell of onions...do I? *sniffs armpit*  
Iota: Are you saying you wish to challenge me in order to best me so that you might redeem yourself somehow of your already overactive incompetence?  
Waluigi: Only because you said it like that, I want to beat your face in even more!  
Iota: Oh very well. The rest of you may pass on into the Hall of the Protoines.  
Yoshi: Good luck, Waluigi.  
Waluigi: Luck? I don't need luck.

And so Yoshi and the Mario Bros. ran into the Hall of the Protoines before Iota and his crew block the path any further for the Wario Bros.

Waluigi: You ready, bro?  
Wario: Ready? Bro, I've been waiting to scrap me some metal all day!

...

Yoshi and the Mario Bros. continue down the hallway. Portraits of the various Protoines line the sides of the hall as they continue towards the shining end.

Yoshi: What is that?  
Mario: I think it's a throne.  
Luigi: And it looks like we're not alone.

Sure enough, as they approach, they see a young man seated in the throne carrying a baseball bat. On one side of him is a knight dressed in armor, on the other is a cowboy.

Baseball: Ehh, what's up, doc?  
Mario: You must be the leader.  
Baseball: *buzzer noise* Ehhh, wrong! That ain't me, pal. I'm Beta, ya hear? In the armor there's Alpha.  
Alpha: Salutations.  
Beta: And the cowboy here's Gamma.  
Gamma: Howdy.  
Beta: Basically the way this'll work is only one of yous is gonna pass, see? The others fight us.  
Mario: This seems easy enough.  
Luigi: Yeah. Yoshi and I will take care of these guys while-  
Mario: No, Yoshi goes.  
Yoshi: What?  
Luigi: What?  
Mario: Look, they only need two. It just seems easier that way.  
Yoshi: But Mario, you're the one who takes on the big baddie all the time! What's the deal?  
Luigi: It's because he's got the gauntlet, isn't it?  
Yoshi: Oh.  
Mario: Yep. You can take care of whatever's up there. You've gotten a lot stronger since the beginning of this adventure of ours, and you've done so much to help us and the castle. This big baddie is yours.  
Yoshi: Well, there's still the actual big bad when we get back.  
Luigi: Well, yeah, but for now, you got this guy.  
Yoshi:...alright. I'll do it.  
Beta: Follow dat path over there, and ya oughta find him at the top.

And so Yoshi charges down the side path and off towards the final Protoine.

Luigi: Okay, now why'd you really do it?  
Mario: Couldn't let anything happen to ya bro.  
Luigi:...you didn't have to do this.  
Mario: I know. But it's how it's going to be eventually.  
Luigi: Me and you, side by side.  
Mario: Together as always.

...

Yoshi runs down the path and finds a set of stairs, which he races up with a burning fire in his heart. Or his hand. One of the two. When he reaches the top of the stairs, he finds a solitary figure standing in the midst of a large circular platform. A door shuts, and Yoshi finds himself stuck on the platform.

?: Welcome, Yoshi. I've waited for you.

Yoshi turns and prepares himself.

Yoshi: So you're the leader of the Protoines?

The figure turns and shows his face; half appears human while the other is cybernetic. Two lonely eyes stare back at Yoshi, one of natural blue, the other a glaring red.

?: I am. You may call me Omega, for I am the end of the Protoines, just as I will be the end of you.

Yoshi stares down Omega amidst the craziness of the mountain. A bolt of lightning sails across the skies, a clap of thunder echoing across the desolate peak.

Yoshi: So what's your plan?  
Omega: My plan? I thought you would have expected my plan.  
Yoshi: What, the Power Stars? Yeah, everyone wants them, but what about you? Why do you want them?  
Omega: Power Stars? Is that all there is to this world? A lust for power, everyone seeking out the greatest forces in order to bend all of creation to their whim? It is such a short-term goal, one fueled by selfish desires. Why do you want them?  
Yoshi: I want to protect them. That's my goal, as it is with my friends.  
Omega: Protection...not necessarily a want, but a goal...truly admirable. Much better than wanting things. If we wanted less, we would have more. We wouldn't need such desires to carry our whims. Yet desire exists, and with it the chance for corruption of such noble endeavors.

Omega paces about.

Omega: For instance, if it were not for the desire for power and a need to achieve greater things, we would not feel such impulses as vanity, pride, overconfidence, and as such we would fall less often. If we were content with our fair share of power in the world, we would not feel the need to change it, and as such, we would coexist alongside it, its energy coursing through us as we course through it. The Power Stars are objects that bring great power to those who want such things...

Omega turns and begins to pace in the other direction.

Omega:...yet I do not want such power. Why should I pine for what I already have? I have assembled a magnificent force to help me obtain the Power Stars for a different goal, a goal that requires no power to obtain, not unlike your own. Yet why, as a guardian, do you feel the need to protect them from us, who desire them for our own selfless goal?  
Yoshi: What is your goal?

Omega stops pacing and faces Yoshi once again.

Omega: Our goal for the Power Stars...our goal is peace. Timeless, infinite, unrelenting peace.  
Yoshi: But then why do you need the Power Stars?  
Omega: Because that is our way of using them. Their power is not necessary, yet it is essential to our goal, as our usual methods would seem...extreme, to the modern world.  
Yoshi:...but why do you ned them?  
Omega: The Power Stars are not just simply tools of destruction, useful only in war. They have powers that can be used to obtain peace, much like the one we desire, the one we strive for, fight for, die for. That peace is the eternal peace, and we shall bring the reality of it to everyone.  
Yoshi:...I don't understand.  
Omega: Of course not. You can't understand. Our goals are alike yet different, the same yet not, both sides of the same coin. In a world thrown into turmoil, chaos, corruption, we strive for the purification in it. Yet while you are content with keeping the power out of the wrong hands, we seek to use that power for ridding the hands altogether.  
Yoshi: You're going to wipe out evil?  
Omega: All things are tempted by desire and succumb to its charm. Even we are not indifferent to that. No, we seek to rid such urges and feelings, wipe the slate clean, destroy desire and recreate reality for peace.  
Yoshi: What?  
Omega: As I've said, you can't understand. Your want to protect is still sought by the desire for something more. Why else would you protect the Power Stars? Because you desire they don't fall into the wrong hands. It is as simple as that.  
Yoshi: But you're talking about getting rid of wanting anything!  
Omega: No more want, no more temptation, truly a world destined for peace.  
Yoshi: But you can't do that!  
Omega: Only with the Power Stars can we achieve that.  
Yoshi: But without desire-  
Omega: The world will be saved-  
Yoshi: The world will die!  
Omega: If that is so, then it will die a saved world.  
Yoshi: No! Without desire, nothing will live! Think of all the hopes that will be crushed, the dreams ruined - with no desire for life, everything will die!  
Omega: Why remove the desires of life?  
Yoshi: Why not remove the temptations?  
Omega: Temptations are like bacteria and viruses. They infect us all, and even if we cure them, they will change form and come back again to plague us anew. Getting rid of temptations does nothing. We can't get rid of them so easily. But if we rid their source - the cause of such temptations - we rid the world of such temptations, and as such restore the world to order.  
Yoshi: What order? There won't be anything left!  
Omega: There will be something left.  
Yoshi: How can you say that?  
Omega: Because I no longer desire things.  
Yoshi:...

Omega begins to pace again.

Omega: I once held desires, dreams, hopes. I held them to me dearly, fondly, like old friends. I wanted them so badly, I could make them happen with sheer desire alone. But then...then I began to lose them. I lost sight of what they were; my passions changed and the world around me became dark, corrupted. My dreams turned to nightmares, my hopes into lies, my virtues into vices...my creations turned against me...my life was torn in two.

Omega turns to Yoshi and indicates his face, pointing at his robotic eye.

Omega: I began to see the world for what it really was: ugly, twisted, crude. My fears were reflected upon the world and took control, and I couldn't bear to face them. I became a coward, and I ran. I did not have the strength to pull through. I could not begin again. I lusted for power to conquer them, to destroy them, to rid the world of them. I became righteous, and in my righteousness, I turned to a man who could help me, the only one who would be willing to help me...

Omega turns and paces again.

Omega: And so he did. Then I gathered followers, burning for my cause, their hearts enflamed by the evils of the world, the tyrannies that plagued us all. Our conquest began, and in our struggles we persisted. But we would lose my dearest friend in the midst of it all...

Omega stops and pauses, clutches at a necklace of his shaped like a lightning bolt.

Omega: Ayin...you will not have died in vain.

Omega turns back to Yoshi.

Omega: Without that will, that righteousness, that desire, I felt broken. But in my brokenness, I found peace. And when I knew of that peace, I told the others of it, and we came to the only power that would grant us our wishes, the only thing strong enough to truly listen to our pleas without twisting fate or pursuing lies or deceiving us: the Power Stars. For in a world of corruption and evil, they are the one source of power that remains unbiased, neutral, fair.  
Yoshi: That doesn't mean it will work.  
Omega: It will.  
Yoshi: How can you be so sure?  
Omega: Because I have experienced it myself. But you will never see what I have seen. You will never know of my bliss, my vision, my peace. And so, in the name of that peace, I must fight you to keep the Power Stars. I must attain victory. I must win.  
Yoshi: Isn't that desire?  
Omega: Necessity.

Omega throws off his robe, revealing his body. One of his arms is completely mechanical, the other of flesh. His torso, now bare, contains a mechanized device with a clearly visible heart, beating. The legs are partially mechanical in various spots. As the two watch each other, another bolt of lightning strikes the clouds.

Omega: For peace and protection then.

Meanwhile, at the base of the mountain...

Furoes!  
CC: 64 HP, 65 SP *envenomated 2*  
DK: 58 HP, 93 SP *envenomated 2* *soaked*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 200 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 209 HP, 125 SP *in the sea!*  
Stigma: 183 HP, 146 SP *in some snakes!*  
Sho: 212 HP, 50 SP

CC slashes at Upsilon for 28 dge! DK uses 4 SP to summon a barrel! He grapples Sho and stuffs him into the barrel! He then fires the barrel at Upsilon for 38 dge! Sho takes 24 dge!

Upsilon: Now my fellow Protoines, the ultimate attack!

Upsilon throws his spear into the air, using 5 SP! Kappa unleashes a massive tidal wave towards the heroes for 8 SP! Stigma sends out snakes to the spear, using 7 SP! Sho breathes out lightning for 9 SP, charging the spear and snakes! Upsilon grabs hold of his spear and rides the wave at the heroes!

Upsilon: Unto death shall ye depart!

Upsilon jumps behind the wave and throws the electrified spear through it! The spear pierces through the wave, electrifying it as it passes! The spear lands between the heroes, but then the snakes are unleashed! The heroes each are bitten and even more envenomated! The wave crashes through, electrifying, soaking, and damaging them for 17 dge each! The duo take 5 dge from their poison!

Furoes!  
CC: 42 HP, 65 SP *envenomated 3* *soaked*  
DK: 36 HP, 89 SP *envenomated 3* *soaked*

Animal Protoines!  
Upsilon: 134 HP, 100 SP  
Kappa: 209 HP, 125 SP *in the sea!*  
Stigma: 183 HP, 146 SP *in some snakes!*  
Sho: 176 HP, 50 SP

CC: DK...I don't know if we're gonna make it through this.  
DK: *gag* Me neither, Crimson.  
Upsilon: Dost thou submit thyselves to the might of the Protoines?  
CC: Never! Even as we face death's door, we will not surrender ourselves to the likes of you!  
DK: I don't think we can die exactly.  
CC: Not now, video game logic isn't applicable.  
DK: It's not?  
Aroramage: Well, this is a CARA, a story of sorts. Besides, I'm a sucker for theatrics.  
Upsilon: Then face your doom!  
?: Behold the newness of our radiant triumphs!

Out of nowhere, a blur appears and smashes through Upsilon! A thin meaty character appears and lands, a blue cape swishing behind him! More blurs appearing, damaging the other Protoines and appearing next to this caped crusader!

Upsilon: Who art thou?  
?: Who art I? Who art I? The question should not be so! The question should be-

The figure stands and turns to reveal Bacon, the leader of Team Sandwich, surrounded by his fellow teammates.

Bacon: Who art you in comparison to us?  
CC: What the hell?  
DK: What's going on here?  
Bacon: Oregano, cure them.

Oregano rushes over to CC and DK and cures them of their poison! The duo are cured!

Bacon: Now go, and leave this fight to Team Sandwich!  
DK: No offense, but you guys kinda suck.  
Bacon: Hey, don't go messing up our moment of heroism! Just say-  
CC: But why?  
Bacon: *sigh* Must we explain now? No. We're Team Sandwich, and we're gonna stop these guys for whatever it's worth! Besides, you've got friends to help out on the mountain, so go bother them or something, and know that help is on the way, got it?  
DK: Uh, thanks?  
Upsilon: Insolent meaty foe! Thou shalt pay dearly for this grievance!  
Bacon: Bring it on, birdbrain!

And so CC and DK charge up the mountain at last, leaving Team Sandwich behind to tackle the beastly Protoines at the base of the mountain.

Meanwhile, in the throne room...

BATTLE 6 START!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 115 HP, 105 SP  
Luigi: 120 HP, 100 SP

The Trio!  
Alpha: 100 HP, 50 SP  
Beta: 200 HP, 100 SP  
Gamma: 300 HP, 150 SP

Mario punches Beta for 8 dge! Luigi punches Gamma for 13 dge!

Alpha unsheathes his sword and slashes at Luigi for 17 dge! Beta whacks a baseball at Mario for 12 dge! Gamma shoots at the Mario Bros. for 6 dge each!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 97 HP, 105 SP  
Luigi: 97 HP, 100 SP

The Trio!  
Alpha: 100 HP, 50 SP  
Beta: 192 HP, 100 SP  
Gamma: 287 HP, 150 SP

Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at Gamma! Gamma takes 16 dge! Luigi uses Thunder Punch for 2 SP! He charges his fist with electricity and punches Alpha, electrocuting him for 18 dge!

Alpha strikes at Mario for 13 dge! Beta rams Luigi for 14 dge and takes 3 recoil! Gamma shoots at the Mario Bros. for 7 dge each!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 77 HP, 102 SP  
Luigi: 76 HP, 98 SP

The Trio!  
Alpha: 82 HP, 50 SP  
Beta: 189 HP, 100 SP  
Gamma: 271 HP, 150 SP

Mario and Luigi use Dual Tornado for 8 SP!

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

Mario charges a fireball while Luigi charges a lightning orb! The duo grab on to each other and spin around rapidly and hit Alpha, Beta, and Gamma multiple times! Alpha takes 6+7+8+7+6+7 dge! Beta takes 12+12+13+13+12+13 dge! Gamma takes 17+18+17+16+17+16 dge! The bros rise up as they hit the trio and finally smash down upon them with a powerful explosion of fire and lightning, hitting all of them for 23, 29, and 35 dge respectively!

Beta: What the?  
Gamma: I reckon we just took a helluva lot of damage.  
Alpha: My word, these brothers are very strong.  
Beta: But not as strong as us, see? Time for our own Team Attack!

Alpha unsheathes another sword and uses 7 SP! Gamma hops onto his shoulders and pulls out his guns, using 7 SP! Beta dual-wields baseball bats and hops onto Gamma's shoulders, using 7 SP!

ABG: TRIPLE TOTEM ATTACK!

The trio charge at the brothers! Alpha slashes his swords for 19 dge each! Gamma blasts the brothers for 24 dge each! Beta whacks the brothers for 28 dge each!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 6 HP, 102 SP (DANGER!)  
Luigi: 5 HP, 98 SP (DANGER!)

The Trio!  
Alpha: 18 HP, 43 SP (Danger!)  
Beta: 85 HP, 93 SP  
Gamma: 135 HP, 143 SP

Luigi: Holy crap, I feel like we just got bulldozed by a train.  
Mario: Luigi! The Power-Ups!  
Luigi: Here goes nothing!

Mario brings out his Bag of 1-Ups! He gives one each to himself and Luigi! The brothers each eat a 1-UP Mushroom! Luigi brings out his Bag of Power-Ups! He pulls out-

Meanwhile, not far off from the bottom...

Birdo is breathing heavily, honking occasionally. She now faces Chi, whose hair has become long and golden. He too is breathing heavily. Nothing of Psi remains, save for his tattered robe in San's hands.

Birdo: You're definitely a lot tougher than Psi...

FLASHBACK TO PSI

Birdo: We can have flashbacks?  
Aroramage: Sure, why not.

Birdo is held up in the air by Psi's psychic powers.

Psi: You can't win. My psychic powers can't be beaten by weak-minded fools.  
Birdo: *struggling* I'm...not weak-minded...  
Psi: I'd say otherwise. I can already see your delicate history all enclosed within your memories. I see the love you share with the world, you're the type of person who wears their heart on their sleeve, so to speak. I can see the heartache as you long for that one somebody to love you.  
Birdo: Stop it!  
Psi: I see clearly through your desire for fashionable things and such. I know you want to be recognized as fabulous and famous. Yet your desire is far greater than you are capable of. You'll never be at the level of fabulosity that you want to be.  
Birdo: Never be at that level? Are you kidding me? LET ME SHOW YOU MY FABULOSITY!

Birdo brings out her diamond ring and focuses her energy into it! The ring glows with an intense aura! Birdo becomes engulfed in light!

Psi: Wait, what? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

Birdo emerges from the light! And she is SIMPLY FABULOUS!

Birdo: I'M MORE FABULOUS THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!

Birdo breaks free of Psi's hold! She launches into a powerful punch of fashionable destruction and-

Birdo: Wait, I thought I just gave him a puzzle, and as he was solving it I whacked him on the noggin, and then he exploded.

...I like my version better.

END FLASHBACK

Chi: Thanks. You're stronger than you look, just like Phi thought. I'm just not gonna make the mistake of underestimating you.  
Birdo: Well good! Because you shouldn't!  
Chi: Glad to hear you say that.

Chi begins to charge up his power! Chi's hair begins to glow longer! Chi is starting to yell!

Birdo: Oh no, not this again.

FLASHBACK TO WHEN CHI AND BIRDO BEGAN TO FACE-OFF

Chi: So now it's my turn.  
Birdo: I guess so.  
Chi: I honestly didn't think Phi would go down...well, quite like that. But now I'm going to show you real power!

Chi's muscles begin to flex! Chi's stance becomes fit! Chi begins a long and drastic transformation sequence!

Birdo: Wait, what're you doing?  
San:...he's powering up...  
Birdo: How long does that take?  
San:...forever...  
Birdo: Oh.

Chi is still charging his power! His hair begins to flash gold!

Birdo:...  
San:...

Chi is still charging!

Birdo:...  
San:...

Chi is intensely charging!

Birdo:...this DOES take forever, doesn't it?  
San:...you have no idea...

Chi has fully charged! Chi upgrades to the next level!

Chi: *breathing deeply*  
Birdo: That looked like it took a lot of energy.  
Chi: No worries. I'm stronger now anyway!  
Birdo: Well that's good.  
Chi: Now time for you to face me!

Chi charges his hand with raw energy and attacks! Birdo counters with her Power Bracelet! And then-

END FLASHBACK

Birdo: And now we're here again.

Chi is charging his power!

Birdo: No, this is just going to take too long.

Birdo walks over to Chi and wallops him! Chi's concentration breaks! Chi loses all his power!

Chi: Dammit! Not the "counter my charge and instantly drain me of all my power" problem I've been dealing with!  
Birdo: Wait, you lose all your power?  
Chi: Yeah. Why do you think they never interrupted those guys during the actual show?

Chi's body glows golden!

Chi: Oh, this isn't gonna end well.  
Birdo: What do you mean?  
Chi: Well, see, since you didn't let me complete the transformation sequence, my energy's growing without proper distribution, which basically means that I'm about to-

CHI EXPLODES! Birdo gets knocked back!

Birdo: Well...that was violently random.  
San:...hehe...random violence...  
Birdo: I suppose I get to face you now?  
San:...I drain power...I don't fight...in a contest...of power...  
Birdo: Oh.  
San:...I take away...the prize...

San approaches Birdo, his hands reaching out of his robe sleeves.

Birdo: Wait, you mean -?  
San: Your power...will belong...to no one...  
Birdo: Whoa!

San charges at Birdo, his hand outstretched!

Birdo: I don't think so!

Birdo dodges and punches San in the stomach! San is taken aback!

San: You...will...pay...for...that!  
Birdo: I SAID NO!

Birdo pounds San into the ground! San is quickly defeated!

San: He who lacks power...has no power...to fight on...

San disappears into the wind.

Birdo: I wonder if they all do that?  
?: Birdo!

The Crimson Crusader and Donkey Kong arrive on the scene!

CC: What happened here?  
Birdo: Oh, I just took care of a few of the Protoines, no biggie!  
DK: You...took on a few Protoines?  
CC: By yourself?  
Birdo: Yeah. There's nothing _wrong_ with that, _is there_?  
CC&DK: Uh, no, no, of course not!  
CC: *whispers to DK* Never would want to upset a woman.  
DK: *whispers back* Nothing worse than a woman's scorn.  
Birdo: WHAT WAS THAT?  
CC&DK: Just complimenting you on a job well done!

Birdo looks up the mountain.

Birdo: I hope the others are doing alright.  
CC: We best carry on then.  
Birdo: What about your battle?  
CC: We'll explain on the way.

Meanwhile, just outside the mighty temple...

BATTLE 7 START!

The Losers!  
Waluigi: 110 HP, 100 SP  
Wario: 110 HP, 100 SP

The Creator and Toys!  
Iota: 250 HP, 100 SP  
Delta: 500 HP, 0 SP  
Epsilon: 500 HP, 0 SP  
Koppa: 500 HP, 0 SP  
Heta: 500 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi and Wario use up 10 SP! The brothers pile up a ton of Bob-ombs! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket!

Waluigi: We're gonna take you guys down in one blow!  
Iota: Now this, I'll have to see.  
Wario: Wahahaha, see for yourself!

Wario tosses several Bob-ombs up into the air! Waluigi whacks the Bob-ombs at Delta, Epsilon, Koppa, and Heta!

Iota: Delta Defense!

Delta creates several triangular shields to block off the Bob-omb strike! Some of the Bob-ombs explode on the shields while 12 Bob-ombs bounce and make it over the shields, exploding and hitting the enemy for 18 dge for each Bob-omb!

Waluigi: BOOOOOOOM!  
Wario: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You just ate it all!  
W&W: The Wario Brothers' Special Move: BIG BANG BOMBER STORM!  
Iota:...you two can't possibly get anymore idiotic, can you? Protoines, strike!

Delta throws a triangular boomerang! The Wario Bros. get hit for 14 dge each! Epsilon charges his battery pack on his back! Koppa dashes and whacks Waluigi for 7 dge! Heta fires a micro-wave at Wario for 7 dge! Wario heats up and gets burned!

The Losers!  
Waluigi: 89 HP, 90 SP  
Wario: 89 HP, 90 SP (burned!)

The Creator and Toys!  
Iota: 250 HP, 100 SP  
Delta: 284 HP, 0 SP  
Epsilon: 284 HP, 0 SP  
Koppa: 284 HP, 0 SP  
Heta: 284 HP, 0 SP

Wario: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!  
Waluigi: CALM DOWN, WARIO!  
Wario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Waluigi: HANG IN THERE, BRO!  
Wario: !  
Waluigi: ARE YOU OKAY?  
Wario: I'M ON FIRE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?  
Iota:...even I'm not capable of understanding the incredible stupidity of my opponents, it seems.  
Wario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH-I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!  
Iota: You two annoy me more than anything else that has ever annoyed me. Even figuring out how to create chimeric Protoines annoys me less...and that annoyed me quite a bit.  
Waluigi: Wait, you even made the hybrids?  
Iota: How do you think Kappa was made? Or Upsilon? Or Tau, for that matter?  
Wario: I'M STILL ON FIRE, YOU IDIOT!  
Waluigi: RIGHT! LET'S ATTACK HIM!

Waluigi uses Punctuation Bomber for 7 SP! Total "!"s: 30

Iota: Wait, what? What kind of attack is this?  
Waluigi: Hehehehehehehehe, HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE, WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Wario: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I BURN, BUT I LAUGH! BURNING MAKES IT HURT TO LAUGH!

Walugi chucks 30 Bob-ombs at his opponents!

Iota: Delta Defense!

Delta spreads out triangle shields! The bombs hit the shields!

Iota: Hopefully, those bombs won't wreck those shields. I put a lot of effort into giving Delta the ability to create these for the purpose of being impervious and nigh-

The bombs are too much! The shields collapse!

Iota:...indestructible...impossible...but not really...

The remaining 12 Bob-ombs hit the opposing team for MASSIVE 128 dge each! Iota stands up out of the rubble and dusts himself off.

Iota: Well, I must admit, I didn't give you enough credit beforehand. But that doesn't mean that-

Wario Corkscrews Iota for 2 SP! He rushes Iota and spins while jumping, hitting Iota for 17 dge!

Iota:...well then. I suppose I should begin to take you two seriously now. Protoines, Combination Formation!  
Waluigi: Combo what-now?  
Wario: I'M ON FIRE STILL!

Delta shifts into a base! Heta stands on top, with Epsilon seated behind him! Koppa stacks on top of Heta, and the four form a giant robotic tower! Iota seats himself in front of Koppa!

Iota: Well now, let's see how you fair against the Cyber Tower!  
Waluigi: Lame name, bro.  
Iota: Well, between the time of construction, the programming for combining, and the actual testing of this, there wasn't a whole lot of time to put into a good name. But this'll do. Tower Cannon, charge!

Epsilon connects his battery pack to Heta's cannons! Koppa glows radiantly and causes the circuits to speed up! Heta's cannons charge to maximum!

Iota: Fire!

Heta's cannons fire off an intense beam of energy! The Wario Bros. get hit for 34 dge each!

Iota: And now...

Iota brings out a pack with a cannon!

Iota: Time to bring you down to size!

Iota fires the cannon at Wario! Wario shrinks down to the size of an ant!

Wario: *high-pitched squealing* I'M STILL ON FIRE, YOU JERK!  
Iota: What's that? I can't hear you.

Iota changes the cannon's beam into a tractor beam! Iota brings Wario to him! Iota traps Wario in a glass jar!

Waluigi: Bro!

Wario is fuming and running around the jar!

Iota: Well, at least he's in good hands. MY hands. Hehe...hehehehehe...hehehehehehehehehe, hehehehehehehehe, HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE-

Iota begins laughing maniacally on top of the tower!

The Losers!  
Waluigi: 55 HP, 83 SP  
Wario: 55 HP, 88 SP (burned!) (in a jar?)

The Creator and Toys! (apart of the Cyber Tower)  
Iota: 105 HP, 100 SP  
Delta: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Epsilon: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Koppa: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Heta: 156 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi is looking down towards the ground. Iota manages to break out of his laughter for a moment.

Iota: Ah-hem. Forgive me, I tend to lose it sometimes. But what seems to be troubling you? Oh wait, don't tell me, it's because I just trapped your brother in a jar, how silly of me. In any case, he's certainly not going to be a problem anymore. Hehehehe...  
Waluigi:...you sir...*glares at Iota*-just made a really big mistake.

Meanwhile, about halfway down the mountain...

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 88 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Demon)  
Nu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Demon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 799 HP, 0 SP *rampaging!*

Rho: Alright, everyone ready?  
Omicron: Indeed.  
Mu: Ready whenever-  
Nu: -you happen to be!  
Ghoulman: BRING. IT. ON!

Ghoulman, Rho, Omicron, Mu, and Nu perform a Team Attack! Mu and Nu split up into their original forms! Rho sets himself as a base! Mu, Omicron, and Nu stack up on top of him, with Ghoulman wielding his Ghost Blade on top! Mu and Nu combine to form a golden dragon! Mu and Nu chomp down on Omicron! Omicron grabs hold of Ghoulman's Ghost Blade!

Omicron: Wait, how am I doing this again?  
Aroramage: Plot-based convenience.

Rho grabs Mu and Nu's tail! Rho swings the entire gang around! He launches them all into the sky! Mu and Nu drop down and slam into Tau for 23 dge! Omicron throws Ghoulman up and drops from even higher and hits Tau for CRITICAL 98 dge!

Rho: It's working! Now!

Rho charges at Tau! Ghoulman raises his sword above him!

Ghoulman: THIS. IS. GONNA. BE. INSANE!

Ghoulman dives at Tau with his sword! Ghoulman hits Tau for MASSIVE 134 dge! Rho tackles into Tau for 18 dge!

Rho: Whoo-wee! That was some mighty fine sky-diving, if I do say so myself!  
Ghoulman: REALLY. TIRED. NOW.  
Rho: That sure says something. But look!

Tau is boggled by the attack! Tau can't attack!

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 88 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Dragon)  
Nu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Dragon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 526 HP, 0 SP *boggled!*

Ghoulman: BOGGLED?  
Aroramage: Yes, it's a word, and yes, I used it right, and yes, I like saying yes a lot.  
Ghoulman: REALLY?  
Aroramage:...no.

Ghoulman slashes at Tau with his Ghost Blade for 17 dge! Rho swings Omicron into Tau for 28 dge! Mu and Nu slam into Tau for 17 dge! Tau is still boggled!

Ghost!  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 88 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Dragon)  
Nu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Dragon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 464 HP, 0 SP *boggled!*

?: Ghoulman!

The Crimson Crusader, Donkey Kong, and Birdo all appear!

CC: Ghoulman! What's...going...on...  
Ghoulman: WE. ARE. TRYING. TO. TAME. TAU!  
DK: Who?  
Rho: Uh, he's a fellow Protoine, but uh, he goes crazy and stuff, and well, ya know...  
Ghoulman: WHAT. HAPPENED. TO. YOU. GUYS?  
CC: Well, Team Sandwich has taken over our battle, and Birdo defeated a few Protoines, but it looks like you guys need our help a lot more.  
Birdo: No worries, darling, we're here to help!

The trio join in the fight to stop Tau!

Verily, doth we travel to thine point of combat...

Solo Magician!*  
Gary: 35 HP, 90 SP (cloned!)

Protoine Kingdom!*  
Xi: 300 HP, 170 SP  
Lambda: 141 HP, 175 SP (burned!)  
Pi: 66 HP, 240 SP (working on counterspell!)  
Sigma: 120 HP, 97 SP (lowered defense!)  
Digamma: 106 HP, 195 SP (burned!)

The Garys use Air Blast for 3 SP! They all inflate themselves! Xi attacks a Gary, only to have it explode in his face for 20 dge!

Pi: My my, it seems that by inflating themselves, they've actually made it even harder for us to get by. Be cautious!

Lambda assassinates a Gary, only to have it disappear! Pi continues to work on the counterspell! Sigma attacks a Gary, only to have it disappear! Digamma uses the shadows to attack a Gary, only to have it disappear! Lamdba and Digamma are burned for 5 damage! The Circle Charm and Square Charm disappear!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 87 SP (cloned!)

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 280 HP, 170 SP  
Lambda: 136 HP, 175 SP (burned!)  
Pi: 66 HP, 240 SP (working on counterspell!)  
Sigma: 120 HP, 97 SP (lowered defense!)  
Digamma: 101 HP, 195 SP (burned!)

Xi: You're running out of clones, oh noble adversary!  
Gary: Don't hold your breath!

The Garys release their Air Blasts at the enemy! The opponents take 28 dge each!

Gary: I'm not holding mine!  
Gary: Me neither!  
Gary: Or me!  
Xi: GAHHHH! UNACCEPTABLE! Lambda, to me!

Xi absorbs 48 HP from Lambda and recovers completely! Lambda throws a dagger at a Gary, only to have it disappear! Pi continues to look for a counterspell! Sigma absorbs the power of a Gary, only to have it explode for 20 dge! Digamma attacks a Gary with his shadow, only to have it disappear! Lambda and Digamma take 5 burn damage each!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 87 SP (cloned!)

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 300 HP, 170 SP  
Lambda: 55 HP, 175 SP (burned!)  
Pi: 38 HP, 240 SP (working on counterspell!)  
Sigma: 72 HP, 97 SP (lowered defense!)  
Digamma: 68 HP, 195 SP (burned!)

Gary: Hehehehehe.  
Xi: What's so funny, peasant?  
Gary: I just figured out a way to beat you!  
Xi: Impossible!  
Gary: See for yourself!

The Garys use Burner Breath for 4 SP! They spew a fiery breath at Xi!

Xi: No! Protoines, protect me!

Lambda, Sigma, and Digamma intercept the attack, taking CRITICAL 35, 47, and 39 dge each! They all become burned!

Xi: Nice try, but as long as my servants remain, I will live on! Prepare yourself!

Xi strikes down a Gary, only to have it explode for 15 dge! Lambda stumbles and stabs a Gary, only to have it explode for 15 dge!

Pi: Ah, there we go! Now to work out the procedure!

Pi makes preparations! Sigma attacks a Gary, only to have it disappear! Digamma attacks a Gary, only to have it disappear! Lambda, Sigma, and Digamma take 10 burn damage each! Lambda is defeated!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 84 SP (cloned!)

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 285 HP, 170 SP  
Pi: 38 HP, 240 SP (preparing counterspell!)  
Sigma: 15 HP, 97 SP (lowered defense!) (burned!)  
Digamma: 19 HP, 195 SP (burned!)

Xi: What is this?  
Gary: Now we'll show you!  
Xi: Where is that counterspell, Pi?  
Pi: Almost ready sir!  
Gary: Let's go!

The Garys use Lightning Roar for 3 SP! They shoot lightning out at Xi!

Xi: ACK! PROTECT ME, MY SERVANTS!

Sigma and Digamma fend off some of the attack, taking 28 and 17 dge each! Sigma is defeated! Xi takes a hit for 14 dge!

Xi: UNACCEPTABLE! Pi, to me!  
Pi: What? Wait sire!

Xi absorbs 29 HP from Pi to recover completely! Pi pays his remaining life to use the counterspell!

Xi: WHAT?  
Pi: I have to give up at least 20 of my own HP in order to use the spell...it's rather arcane magic, unfortunately...I can only use 9...Digamma, if you could...

Digamma uses up his remaining life to fuel the spell! The effects begin to take effect!

Xi: Then that means...  
Pi: Fight on, my liege...

Pi and Digamma are defeated! Xi is forced to pay 9 HP to use the counterspell! The counterspell is successful! The remaining clones dissipate!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 84 SP

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 291 HP, 170 SP

Gary: Care to fight me one-on-one?  
Xi: My kingdom, threatened by a solitary menace, and taken down by it.

Xi combines his broadswords and extends their length!

Xi: My kingdom for your head!

Luckily, there's only one part to take care of...

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 102 SP (protected!) (floating!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP (underground!)  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Sampi for 17 dge! Sampi blasts water at Lucky, but the barrier deflects the water! Theta emerges from the earth, but can't reach Lucky! Eta slices through the air to try and hit Lucky, but the barrier fends off the attack! Zeta uses a Psychic Wave, but the barrier deflects the attack! Zeta absorbs the wave once again to protect the others!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 102 SP (protected!) (floating!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 283 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Horseshoe charm to increase his speed! Sampi decides not to attack! Theta chucks a boulder at Lucky, only to have the barrier block the attack! Eta impatiently hovers but doesn't attack! Zeta holds off his attack!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 99 SP (protected!) (floating!) (speedy!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 283 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Hidden Key charm to unlock a new power! His Shooting Star charm unlocks a new power! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Shooting Star charm! He regains 10 SP! The Shooting Star splits him into different colored forms! Lucky splits into red, yellow, green, blue, and purple clones!

Sampi: This is an interesting development.  
Theta: Can we beat them all?  
Eta: Man, let's kick his ass already!  
Zeta: Have patience.  
Sampi: We must hold off our attacks.

The Protoines do nothing!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 99 SP (protected!) (floating!) (speedy!)  
Lucky Clone1: 100, 99 SP  
Lucky Clone2: 100, 99 SP  
Lucky Clone3: 100, 99 SP  
Lucky Clone4: 100, 99 SP

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 283 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Theta: Should we wait?  
Sampi: He won't be able to defeat us quickly, it seems.  
Eta: Bring it on, stupid leprechaun!  
Zeta: Silence.  
Lucky: You are quite the group, aren't you?  
Sampi: That is true. We are a rather unique group.  
Lucky: I'm still going to take you down, even if I have to do it one by one!  
Sampi: You are a curious fellow.  
Theta: Are you trying to prove something?  
Eta: Man, you can't even attack us without those shuriken!  
Zeta: Surrender now. Save us the trouble.  
Lucky: Surrender? That's what you want me to do?  
Sampi: It is only a matter of time before that barrier breaks down. You'll be defenseless once that is the case.  
Lucky: That doesn't mean I'm going to surrender to the likes of you! I have friends counting on me, and beyond them...

Lucky reaches into his coat!

Lucky:...beyond them, I've got friends who are waiting for me. There's no way I'm about to just give up from some sheer technicality like this!

Lucky brings out the Medallion of Breakfast!

Theta: What's that?  
Sampi: It appears to be some sort of medallion.  
Lucky: That's right. This medallion contains the powers of my friends! Now, to use its power!

Lucky raises the Medallion of Breakfast over his head! The Medallion glows and shines down on him and his clones! Lucky gains the power of Tony the Tiger! Lucky Clone1 gains the power of Chip the Wolf! Lucky Clone2 gains the power of the Trix Rabbit! Lucky Clone3 gains the power of Snap, Crackle, and Pop! Lucky Clone4 gains the power of Buzz!

Sampi: This ought to be good.  
Lucky: Now I'll show you the true power of breakfast!

-a Tanooki Suit and a Cape Feather!

Mario: Let's-a go again!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

Luigi takes the Tanooki Suit and powers-up! Mario takes the Cape Feather and powers-up!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 6 HP, 102 SP (DANGER!) (Caped!)  
Luigi: 5 HP, 98 SP (DANGER!) (Tanooki!)

The Trio!  
Alpha: 18 HP, 43 SP (Danger!)  
Beta: 85 HP, 93 SP  
Gamma: 135 HP, 143 SP

Alpha: Fools! Thou shalt not slay us so easily! Prepare thine selves for thine death!  
Beta: Ya think dat a suit and a cape are gonna do anything against us?  
Gamma: I reckon not.  
Alpha: Thine defeat shalt be glorious!  
Beta: Yer gonna die right now!  
Gamma: Giddey-up, pardners!

Alpha, Beta, and Gamma attack! Alpha slashes his swords for 21 dge to each bro! The bros are KO'd! Beta whacks their bodies about as Gamma reloads his guns and prepares to fire! The bros completely recover full health thanks to their 1-Up Shrooms! Gamma fires at the bros for 14 dge each!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 101 HP, 102 SP (Caped!)  
Luigi: 106 HP, 98 SP (Tanooki!)

The Trio!  
Alpha: 18 HP, 43 SP (Danger!)  
Beta: 85 HP, 93 SP  
Gamma: 135 HP, 143 SP

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

Mario flies into the air and uses Fire Punch for 2 SP! He dives down and knocks Alpha for 23 dge!

Alpha: Gah! The enemy hath fouled my graceful name! Fellow warriors, let not thine courage fail ye! Let not thine spirits fly from thine bodies without thine-  
Beta: Ahh, pipe down!  
Alpha:...verily, thou art an ass.

Alpha collapses and shatters!

Mario: Mama mia! He was just a suit of armor?  
Beta: What, that wasn't obvious?  
Gamma: I reckon it probably wasn't to them.  
Beta: Oh right...eh, whateva.

Luigi mimics his brother, flying up into the air and charging a fist with electricity for 2 SP! He hovers over Gamma and suddenly transforms into a statue with his Tanooki Suit! He plummets to the ground, hitting Gamma for MASSIVE 65 dge! Gamma is stunned!

Beta: What? Ya gotta be kidding me! Gawd, gotta do everything myself!  
Gawd: I'M STILL LISTENING, IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN!

Beta whacks Luigi for 2 dge! Gamma is still stunned!

The Brothers!  
Mario: 101 HP, 100 SP (Caped!)  
Luigi: 104 HP, 96 SP (Tanooki!)

The Trio!  
Beta: 85 HP, 93 SP  
Gamma: 70 HP, 143 SP (stunned!)

Beta: Like the two of you are going to beat us!  
Mario: Hehehehe, time to end this!  
Luigi: After you!  
Mario: LET'S-A-GO!  
Beta: Whaddya gonna do?

Mario stands back with his hands ablaze! Luigi ducks out of the way! Mario uses up all his SP!

Beta: Whoa, now, whaddya doing?  
Mario: Oh yeah!

Mario uses his Final Smash! He unleashes the Mario Finale!

Mario: EEEEE-YAHHHHHH!

Mario unleashes twin flame dragons! The dragons hit Beta and Gamma for 86+86 dge each!

Gamma: I reckon that that's gonna...leave...a mark...  
Beta: Well den...guess dis is da end after all...

END BATTLE 6!

Gamma disintegrates into ashes and is blown into the breeze. Beta starts to disintegrate.

Beta: Heh...not dat you can do much anyway.  
Mario: What do you mean?  
Beta: Everything's gone...as according to...da plan.  
Luigi: What plan?  
Beta: Separate you guys...absolutely flawless...now da boss...gets to take care of...your friend...heh...heh...heh...

Beta crumbles away and disappears! Mario strains and collapses onto the ground!

Luigi: Mario!

Luigi rushes to Mario's side! The Cape and Tanooki Suit disappear!

Luigi: Mario, are you okay? Mario!

Meanwhile, much further own the mountain...

Heroes!  
CC: 42 HP, 65 SP  
DK: 36 HP, 89 SP  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 88 SP  
Birdo: 60 HP, 110 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Dragon)  
Nu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Dragon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 464 HP, 0 SP *boggled!*

Rho: Well now, new allies on our side, eh? Well then, let's take Tau down!

Crimson slashes at Tau twice for 17+14 dge! DK punches Tau for 23 dge! Ghoulman slashes at Tau with his Ghost Blade for 11 dge! The Ghost Blade breaks! Birdo unleashes a Super Punch with her Power Gauntlet! She punches Tau for 29 dge!

Rho throws Omicron into Tau for 26 dge! Mu and Nu breathe fire on Tau for 24 dge! Tau can't attack due to being boggled, but is now no longer boggled! Tau become enraged!

Heroes!  
CC: 42 HP, 65 SP  
DK: 36 HP, 89 SP  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 88 SP  
Birdo: 60 HP, 110 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)  
Mu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Nu, Dragon)  
Nu: 46 HP, 0 SP (combined with Mu, Dragon)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 320 HP, 0 SP *enraged!*

CC: We've got to take it down quickly!  
Ghoulman: NO. DUH. MAN!  
Rho: Should we do a Team Combo?  
DK: Team Combo?  
Ghoulman: AN. ATTACK. WITH. THE. ENTIRE. TEAM!  
Birdo: Why that sounds marvelous!  
CC: And I think I have an idea for just the move! Quickly now!

CC gathers the heroes and plans out the attack! DK summons up a barrel for 15 SP! Ghoulman swallows CC for 15 SP! Birdo swallows Ghoulman for 15 SP! Birdo leaps into the cannon! DK shoots Birdo out at Tau! Birdo punches Tau for 39 dge! Birdo lays an egg and throws it at Tau for 14 dge! Ghoulman bursts out of the egg and fires CC up into the air! CC brings out both of his blades and drills down into Tau for 22x4 dge!

CC: The mighty Cannonball Blitz!  
Rho: What a simple name for a complicated attack.

Rho charges and plows through Tau with Omicron for 27 dge! Some rocks embedded themselves into Tau for 5 dge! Mu and Nu surround the heroes and Protoines!

Rho: Tau's getting ready to charge!  
Mu: Don't worry!  
Nu: We've got this!

Tau charges through towards the heroes and Protoines! Mu and Nu shield the team! Mu and Nu take the full damage and are defeated! They split apart into their normal forms!

Rho: Mu! Nu!  
Mu: Don't...worry...  
Nu: *coughs* We've...got...this...

Mu and Nu disintegrate into dust!

Rho:...no...I thought they could take it!  
Omicron: Rho, it's not your fault.  
Rho: Dammit, of course it's my fault! First Ayin, and now-  
Omicron: RHO! We have a job to do!  
Rho:...I know...

Rho faces Tau again.

Rho: Let's take this beast down!

Heroes!  
CC: 42 HP, 50 SP  
DK: 36 HP, 74 SP  
Ghoulman: 59 HP, 73 SP  
Birdo: 60 HP, 95 SP

Protoines!  
Rho: 96 HP, 0 SP (Jagged Rock Golem)  
Omicron: 96 HP, 0 SP (Wrecking Ball-equipped to Rho)

Enraged Beast!  
Tau: 147 HP, 0 SP *enraged!*

CC slashes at Tau for 12 dge! DK wallops Tau for 2 SP! Tau takes 43 dge! Ghoulman summons three Pink Boos for 3 SP, chews them up, and fires them at Tay for 28+23+26 dge! Birdo punches Tau for 13 dge!

Rho: Alright, fellas, we'll take care of things from here!  
Omicron: I suppose we're finally going through with it?  
Rho: Something I've been meaning to do for a long time...

Rho chucks Omicron at Tau! Tau blocks and tosses Omicron off the cliff!

Rho: We'll have none of that no more with ya, you slanderous beast!

Rho tackles Tau and the two tumble off the cliffside!

Ghoulman: RHO!

Ghoulman charges to the cliffside and looks over the edge. The clouds have obscured any sight of the fallen Protoines.

END BATTLE 3!

The others approach Ghoulman.

CC: Are you going to be alright?  
Ghoulman:...I. think. so.  
CC:...alright. Let's get moving then.

The others begin to head up the mountain. Ghoulman closes his eyes and takes a moment.

Ghoulman: *whispers* I'll. see. you. soon...

Ghoulman then turns and follows the others up the mountain to their next battle already in motion...

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 99 SP (protected!) (floating!) (speedy!) (Tony's power!)  
Lucky Clone1: 100, 99 SP (Chip's power!)  
Lucky Clone2: 100, 99 SP (Trix's power!)  
Lucky Clone3: 100, 99 SP (Snap/Crackle/Pop's power!)  
Lucky Clone4: 100, 99 SP (Buzz's power!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 283 HP, 0 SP  
Theta: 250 HP, 50 SP  
Eta: 300 HP, 0 SP  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Lucky uses Tony's Power to up his power! Lucky throws Clover Shuriken at Eta for 25 dge! Lucky Clone1 constructs a complicated cannon-like contraption and fires it at Theta for 17 dge! Lucky Clone2 goes insane and rapidly fires Clover Shuriken at Sampi for 14 dge! Lucky Clone3 fires off Rice Krispies at Zeta, who deflects the attack! Rice Krispies litter the field! Lucky Clone4 magical summons out a glob of honey, coating the Protoines and causing them to slow down!

Sampi: This isn't looking good.

Sampi fires his Hydro Cannons, only to have the attack blocked by the honey! Theta tries to break free of the honey but to no avail! Eta is grounded due to the honey messing with his fans! Zeta uses his mind to break out of the honey!

Sampi: It is good to know that one of us can escape.  
Eta: Kick their asses for me! I don't like getting caught up in this filth!  
Theta: Maybe you can help us out instead?  
Zeta: Destroy. Eliminate. Die.  
Sampi: I hope you know what you're doing.

Lucky's barrier begins to fade!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 100, 99 SP (protected!) (floating!) (speedy!) (Tony's power!)  
Lucky Clone1: 100, 99 SP (Chip's power!)  
Lucky Clone2: 100, 99 SP (Trix's power!)  
Lucky Clone3: 100, 99 SP (Snap/Crackle/Pop's power!)  
Lucky Clone4: 100, 99 SP (Buzz's power!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 269 HP, 0 SP (trapped in honey!)  
Theta: 233 HP, 50 SP (trapped in honey!)  
Eta: 275 HP, 0 SP (trapped in honey!)  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Lucky: I'm gonna have to take care of you first.  
Zeta: Try and stop me.  
Lucky: With pleasure!

Lucky and his clones unleash a flurry of Clover Shuriken at Zeta! But Zeta remains untouched!

Lucky: What the?  
Zeta: Die.

Zeta unleashes a Psychic Wave! It breaks through the barrier! The Lucky clones take 54 dge! Lucky takes 27 dge! The other Protoines are trying to escape the honey!

Luckiest Character Ever!  
Lucky: 73, 99 SP (floating!) (speedy!) (Tony's power!)  
Lucky Clone1: 46, 99 SP (Chip's power!)  
Lucky Clone2: 46, 99 SP (Trix's power!)  
Lucky Clone3: 46, 99 SP (Snap/Crackle/Pop's power!)  
Lucky Clone4: 46, 99 SP (Buzz's power!)

Universal Protoines!  
Sampi: 269 HP, 0 SP (trapped in honey!)  
Theta: 233 HP, 50 SP (trapped in honey!)  
Eta: 275 HP, 0 SP (trapped in honey!)  
Zeta: 200 HP, 100 SP

Zeta: Surrender now.  
Lucky: No! I can't give up! Not yet!  
Zeta: Perish the thought.

Lucky and his clones try again to attack Zeta, but Zeta binds them and prevents them from moving!

Lucky: What the hell?  
Sampi: You'll find Zeta's mental prowess far exceeds that of many of the Protoines.  
Eta: Yeah, there's no way you're gonna beat him!  
Theta: Is this the end?  
Eta: You know it!  
Zeta: Be gone.

Zeta creates a Psychic Spear! He raises it above his head and-

SWIPE

Suddenly, Zeta stops his attack! The other Protoines are caught motionless! Then suddenly, Sampi, Eta, Theta, and Zeta all transform into...tiny pieces of cereal?

Lucky:...what the heck?

The Lucky clones dissipate!

END BATTLE 4!

Lucky looks up and sees a shadowy figure, its sword drawn. The figure stands up and sheathes its sword.

Lucky: Who are you?

The figure looks over its shoulders, and Lucky sees the flash of a golden tooth. Then just as suddenly as it appeared, the figure disappears.

Lucky: Wait!

Lucky runs to where the figure was and tries to find him in vain. He turns back to one of the cereal pieces and picks it up.

Lucky:...it can't be...  
?: Lucky!

CC, Birdo, DK, and Ghoulman appear!

CC: Looks like you managed to take care of things here!

DK picks up one of the pieces coated in honey and munches on it, much to Lucky's shock and realized horror!

DK: Mmmm, tastes like Honey Bunches of Oats! But without the oats.  
Aroramage: PART OF A COMPLETE BREAKFAST  
Ghoulman: ARE. YOU. OKAY?  
Lucky: *nauseous* I'm not so sure.  
Ghoulman: I'M. CALLING. THAT. A. YES!  
Birdo: Should we go up and find the others?  
CC: Yes, and with haste! Let's go!

The others charge up the mountain! Lucky begins to follow then stops, turns, and stares at the spot where the figure was. He looks into his hand where he holds a piece of cereal, sticks it into his hat, and follows after the others...

A little further up the mountain...

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 84 SP

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 291 HP, 170 SP

Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He incinerates Xi for 29 dge! Xi is burned! Xi slashes at Gary with his Mega Broadsword, but Gary dodges the attack with ease! Xi takes 5 burn dge!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 80 SP

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 257 HP, 170 SP (burned!)

Gary uses Lightning Blast for 3 SP! He electrocutes Xi for 31 dge! Xi slashes at Gary with his Mega Broadsword, but Gary dodges the attack with ease!

Xi: Hold still, you worm!  
Gary: I'm a MagiGoomba, not a worm!  
Xi: DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?  
Gary: Maybe a little bit!  
Xi: DAMMIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW?

Xi takes 5 burn dge!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 77 SP

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 221 HP, 170 SP (burned!)

Gary summons the Aqua Dragon for 7 SP! The Aqua Dragon wrecks Xi for CRITICAL 48 dge! Xi tries again to slice Gary but instead cut through the Aqua Dragon's head! Xi takes 5 burn dge!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 35 HP, 70 SP

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 168 HP, 170 SP (burned!)

Xi: I WILL DESTROY YOU, YOU LITTLE PARASITE!  
Gary: Good luck with that, Your Slowness!  
?: Gary!

CC, DK, Birdo, Ghoulman, and Lucky appear at Gary's side!

Gary: Bout time you guys showed up.  
Xi: Reinforcements! You think you can outnumber and overpower me now that your friends are here, hmm? Not that that matters, you simply have given me more targets!  
Gary: Stay back, guys! I can handle this guy!  
DK: Gary! Here!

DK brings out his Golden Banana Grove and tosses Gary a Golden Banana! Gary devoured the banana!

Gary: That was definitely unexpected yet tasty!

Gary begins to glow! He is surrounded by a golden aura!

Xi: What devilry is this?  
Gary: Whoa! I'm feeling...AWESOME!

Gary's power increased magnificently! Gary uses Thunder Shout for 3 SP! He lets loose a mighty yell that electrocutes Xi for MAXIMUM 147 dge!

DK: Wow...why didn't I think of using this earlier?  
Xi: GAHHH! This will not do! I WILL ELIMINATE YOU!

Xi rages and strikes Gary head-on with his Mega Broadsword! Gary takes 7 dge! Xi takes 5 burn dge!

Solo Magician!  
Gary: 28 HP, 67 SP (superpowered!)

Protoine Kingdom!  
Xi: 16 HP, 170 SP (burned!)

Xi: What? But that should have crushed you into the dust! And then crushed the dust! And then crushed the remains of the crushed dust, and then crushed the result of that!  
Gary: Well then, I guess this is going to hurt you more than it could possibly hurt me!

Gary bites Xi for MAXIMUM 54 dge! Xi is KO'd!

END BATTLE 2!

Xi lies on the ground, pained, broken, defeated.

Xi: How...how could I lose to a pipsqueak like you...  
Gary: Well, that magic banana helped.  
DK: GOLDEN Banana.  
Xi: I will not tolerate this! I will come back from this defeat stronger than ever, and when I do. I'LL-

Xi is suddenly turned into cheese!

Gary: Huh?

Ghoulman has used the Hand of Aristaeus to turn Xi into cheese!

Ghoulman:...WHAT? I. WAS. HUNGRY!

Ghoulman devours the Xi cheese! A strange crown-shaped bump grows out of Ghoulman's head.

Gary:...Ghoulman, are you okay?  
Ghoulman: FANTASTIC. MY. GOOD. SIR!  
DK: He better not start talking all "ye old English" style. We've got enough characters who talk like that.  
CC: Hey!  
Lucky: Come on, we've gotta go check up on the others!

And with that, our heroes once again set off up the mountain to meet with the ones further up the mountain...

Not far off from the top of the many-times-mentioned mountain...

The Losers!  
Waluigi: 55 HP, 83 SP  
Wario: 55 HP, 88 SP (burned!) (in a jar?)

The Creator and Toys! (apart of the Cyber Tower)  
Iota: 105 HP, 100 SP  
Delta: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Epsilon: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Koppa: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Heta: 156 HP, 0 SP

Waluigi uses the Rose Bomber, bringing out his signature rose and using it to blow up the tower! Delta takes 35 dge!

Iota: Is that all you've got? I'm disappointed. Although it can't be helped. Protoines, strike him down!

The Cyber Tower launches a massive cannon strike! Waluigi takes 45 dge! Wario is burned and takes 5 burn dge!

The Losers!  
Waluigi: 10 HP, 83 SP (DANGER!)  
Wario: 50 HP, 88 SP (burned!) (in a jar?)

The Creator and Toys! (apart of the Cyber Tower)  
Iota: 105 HP, 100 SP  
Delta: 121 HP, 0 SP  
Epsilon: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Koppa: 156 HP, 0 SP  
Heta: 156 HP, 0 SP

Iota: Funny, I had thought for a moment that you might be able to win. But no, you continue to disappoint me regardless.  
Waluigi: Heh, is that so?  
Iota: As a matter of fact, it is. And now I'm going to just have to force out some enjoyment in taking you down the rest of the way.  
Waluigi: Maybe you should reconsider that remark!  
Iota: Hm?

Waluigi clenches his fist, and a flash of light glares off the Golden Bob-omb Ring!

Waluigi: Time to bring your tower down!

Waluigi brings out a Sticky Bob-omb for 2 SP! He attaches the Bob-omb onto Delta!

Iota: Another bomb? Really? Is that the best you can-

The Bob-omb explodes, dealing Delta 36 dge! A part of Delta breaks off!

Iota:...well that did absolutely nothi-

Delta starts to lean over! The Cyber Tower begins to fall!

Iota:...well this can't be-

The Tower collapses! Delta suddenly self-destructs, damaging Epsilon, Koppa, and Heta by 125 HP and KO'ing himself! Epsilon, Koppa, and Heta all fall to the ground and take an additional 25 dge! Iota is blown off and lands on the ground hard, taking 56 dge! He drops the jar Wario was in, which shatters on the ground! Wario is no longer trapped in a jar!

Iota: *groans* Alright, enough interrupting me. I'll admit, you got the upper hand on me, but this doesn't change anything! I will still defeat the likes of you, and then-

Suddenly, an immense fiery explosion occurs, incinerating the Protoines and burning them for 25 dge each! Epsilon, Koppa, and Heta are defeated!

Iota: WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?

Meanwhile, a miniature Wario flies through the air back to Waluigi! He manages to transform back to full-size upon landing!

Wario: Man, I've been holding that in for a while!  
Iota:...you cannot be serious. My machines, my creations, my perfect beings - beaten and burnt BY A FART?  
Wario: I call it the Wario Waft, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Iota glowers at the Wario Bros before screaming in a delusional agony at the sky!

Iota: THIS IS MADNESS!

Waluigi and Wario walk up to Iota.

Waluigi: Madness?  
Wario: WE! ARE!  
Wario Bros.: THE WARIO BROTHERS!

The duo both kick Iota for 24 dge! Iota collapses onto the ground, defeated!

END BATTLE 7!

Iota is sprawled out on the ground, tearful and literally bent over backwards.

Iota: It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not-  
Wario: SHUT UP, WE GET IT!  
?: There they are!

Again, a reunion of heroes.

DK: Whoa.  
Lucky: What'd you guys do?  
Waluigi: Kicked his ass, what else would we do?  
Birdo: Poor fellow.  
Waluigi: DON'T PITY HIM!  
Wario: HE SHRUNK ME DOWN AND STUFFED ME IN A JAR!  
Birdo: But he seems so miserable!  
Waluigi: You would be too if you ever messed with us.  
Wario: WAHAHAHAHA!  
CC:...alright, let's check up on the rest. It looks like we're only missing Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi.

And so the heroes traverse into the temple to locate the remainder of their team...

And finally, at the top...

BATTLE 5 START!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 115 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 500 HP, 300 SP

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Buried Hopes, unleashing a wave of earth at Omega for 35 dge! Omega brings out a gatling gun and fires off rounds at Yoshi! Yoshi takes 27 dge total!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 88 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 465 HP, 300 SP

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Fiery Chaos, unleashing a fierce fireball at Omega for 38 dge! Omega unleashes a Psychic Wave at Yoshi for 5 SP! Yoshi takes 26 dge!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 62 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 427 HP, 295 SP

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Frozen Demise, unleashing a mighty ice beam at Omega for 34 dge! Omega is partially frozen! Omega surges with heat for 3 SP! Omega is no longer frozen!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 62 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 393 HP, 292 SP

Yoshi: What's with all these attacks?  
Omega: You probably won't recognize any of these unless you've paid attention to my allies.  
Yoshi: What's that supposed to mean?  
Omega: I would've thought it was obvious.  
Yoshi: Well I'm not about to let you beat me!

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Fiery Chaos and unleashes a fierce fireball! Omega counters with a wave of water!

Yoshi: What the heck?  
Omega: Do you understand yet?

Omega summons out a suit of armor and encases his body in it!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 62 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 393 HP, 292 SP (protected by armor!)

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet with Buried Hopes and unleashes a wave of earth at Omega! Omega redirects the earth wave off to the side!

Yoshi: What's going on now?  
Omega: Clearly you have much to learn.

Omega summons a plethora of daggers and sends them at Yoshi! Yoshi deflects a few but still takes 16 dge!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 46 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 393 HP, 292 SP (protected by armor!)

Yoshi: Guess it's time to change my tactics!

Yoshi throws an egg at Omega! Omega counters by shrinking the egg down! Omega takes 1 dge!

Yoshi: You gotta be kidding me!  
Omega: Soon enough, you will understand my power.

Omega summons the shadows and uses them to attack Yoshi! Yoshi takes 14 dge!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 32 HP, 105 SP

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 392 HP, 292 SP (protected by armor!)

Yoshi: All these powers...what are you supposed to be with all of these?  
Omega: What I am is nothing more than a man transformed into a cyborg. The only difference between the Protoines and I is that they are limited in their power, while all their powers are mine.  
Yoshi: You mean...all this time...  
Omega: I've always had the power to defeat you in an instant. If I willed it, I could crush you with the largest of boulders, entrap you in a cage made of the air that surrounds you, or simply beat you into the ground without breaking a sweat.  
Yoshi: If you've had this power all along, then what good are the Power Stars?  
Omega: As powerful as I am, there are still actions I cannot perform.

Yoshi throws an exploding egg at Omega, dealing him 12 dge! Omega doubles his speed for 3 SP and unleashes a snake for 3 SP! The snake attacks Yoshi for 8 dge! Omega's armor disappears!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 24 HP, 105 SP (danger!)

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 380 HP, 286 SP

Omega: How quickly you fall. Is this all the power you can muster?  
Yoshi: If you can just beat me, why don't you do it already?  
Omega: Because I thought you had more to you. Because I thought you might be powerful enough, as protector of the Power Stars, to defend them. But no, even you don't have the power to prevent me from gaining their power and changing the world.  
Yoshi: I'll never let you have the Power Stars! No matter the cost!

Yoshi charges at Omega and punches him, but Omega catches the punch!

Omega: Resilient, defiant, foolish - signs that you are indeed a guardian. Even in the face of certain defeat, you never surrender your duties. It's admirable.  
Yoshi: Even if you beat me, my friends will-  
Omega: -defend them in your place, certainly they will. But consider that they have been fighting my allies. They are now weakened and therefore less likely to succeed against me. You can't defeat me at your full strength. What makes you think they'll fair any better being that much weaker?

Omega tosses Yoshi off to the side! He raises his hand to the sky and absorbs a lightning bolt into his finger! He then slowly points the finger at Yoshi!

Omega: There's little to do in the position you are in. Your only hope may be to rely on your friends to bail you out, but even then, the chances of them reaching us are slim.  
Yoshi: Don't count on it!  
Omega: I already can see what is going on. I'm aware that every one of my allies has fallen. I know that the others have been reunited, but now they are caring for a fallen Mario.  
Yoshi: Mario got beaten?  
Omega: Not exactly. He has been exhausted in an attempt to finish off my men. He succeeded but even so at a high price.  
Yoshi: Then what're you still doing here? The rest of them are gone, what are you still doing here?  
Omega: I'm here to obtain the power I need.

Omega shoots a bolt of lightning at Yoshi!

Yoshi: What did I just get through telling you?

Yoshi swings the Elemental Gauntlet at the lightning and manages to deflect it!

Yoshi: I'm not letting you-

Yoshi charges the Elemental Gauntlet! It charges all three of the elements it contains!

Yoshi: -take the Power Stars-

A sphere of red, blue, and green energy mixes and swirls about in the palm of the Gauntlet!

Yoshi: -no matter what!

Yoshi fires off the Elemental Orb! Omega takes MASSIVE 156 dge! Yoshi stands his ground as the smoke clears from the explosive force of the attack! Omega stands with his arms held out in front of him!

Omega: Impressive. I see that you've finally begun to take our fight seriously. Well then, let's continue on, shall we?

Omega changes his fist into a wrecking ball for 3 SP and swings it at Yoshi! Yoshi just barely dodges it! Omega summons a meteor to attack the field for 7 SP! Yoshi surrounds himself in an Egg Shield! The Egg Shield protects him from the meteor!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 24 HP, 105 SP (danger!)

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 224 HP, 276 SP

Meanwhile, in the throne room...

The others finally arrive on the scene where Luigi nurses Mario back to health.

CC: Mario!  
Birdo: Oh no! Is he alright?  
Luigi: He'll be fine. Just put a mild strain on himself, that's all.  
Mario: *grunts* Yoshi went on ahead.  
CC: Where?

Mario points towards the side hall!

CC: Alright then, let's get moving! Lucky, teleport Mario and Luigi to a safe place!  
Lucky: On it!  
Birdo: I'll go too!  
CC: Alright, that leaves the rest of us to find Yoshi.

Lucky Teleports himself, Mario, Luigi, and Birdo off Tall, Tall, Dark, Ominous, Lightning, Creepy, Insane, Mighty, Infested-

Mario: WILL YOU JUST GET ON WITH IT?

...Mountain. CC, DK, Gary, Waluigi, Wario, and Ghoulman all head down the hallway towards Yoshi and the final Protoine who they don't know as of yet...

...BUT WE DO!

And so the aforementioned heroes appear on the side of the great arena to find Yoshi firing off a fireball from the Elemental Gauntlet at Omega, the Protoine they have yet to meet! Omega takes 34 dge!

CC: Yoshi!  
Yoshi: Guys! What happened to the rest of you?  
CC: We had Lucky teleport them to safety! He should be coming back at any moment!  
Yoshi: How's Mario doing?  
CC: He'll be fine!  
Omega: I'd be a little more concerned for your own safety at the moment.

Omega increases his power for 6 SP! He summons up a mighty broadsword for 3 SP and slashes at Yoshi with it! Yoshi takes 14 dge!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 10 HP, 105 SP (DANGER!)

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 190 HP, 267 SP (powered up!)

Gary: Here Yoshi!

Gary looks up a healing spell in his book! He uses it on Yoshi to help recover 50 HP!

Yoshi: Thanks for the back-up!

Yoshi charges into the fray once more! Yoshi envelops himself in an egg and uses Egg Roll for-

Waluigi: Mmm, eggroll...

...uh, yes. Yoshi uses Egg Roll for 2 SP! He then sets the egg ablaze for an extra 1 SP! He rolls into Omega for 34 dge! Omega casts a Square Charm for 9 SP, allowing for him to recover 15 HP! Omega summons a spear and throws it at Yoshi! Yoshi takes 34 dge!

Sqaure Charm Countdown: 3 Turns!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 26 HP, 102 SP (danger!)

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega: 171 HP, 258 SP (powered up!)

Gary: Wait, a Square Charm? I saw that in my fight!  
Yoshi: He's kinda got all of their powers!  
Gary: Oh...crap...  
Omega: You're just about done. I see no reason not to use these now.

Omega brings out the Power Stars he was holding onto! Omega combines their power with his own! Omega suddenly begins to transform!

Yoshi: Oh my Grambi who art Overthere, hallowed be thy name...  
CC: This does not bode well.

Omega's previous body is no more. He transforms into a fearsome colossal beast, whose skin is deformed into parts of fur, scales, and jagged rocks. His two sets of wings - one black and another white - beat against the winds, his legs stomping into the ground. His hands have transformed into massive claws with a strange webbing between them. His head has become three dragon heads; the left of flaming red, the right of shining gold, and the center-head bearing a crown. Omega the Warrior has transformed into Omega the Beast!

Omega: This power is certainly astonishing! I did not think this could be obtained! And I have only a mere 7 Power Stars! My dream could easily become reality if I were to gather them all!  
Yoshi: Hey, you forget about me?  
Omega: Please! I could never forget about you! I could crush you easily with this kind of power! And then, once I'm done, I'll...oh ho ho ho, no, I don't need to go there. I know of these final speeches far too well!  
Aroramage: Ah, crap, I made another Genre-Savvy Fourth-Wall-Breaking Character. IS THERE ANY CHARACTER THAT REMAINS NAIVE TO MY FOURTH WALL!  
Gawd: I COULD NAME A COUPLE!  
Aroramage: SHUT UP GAWD!  
Gawd: BRING IT ON, BITCH!  
Aroramage: OH IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!  
Gawd: YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THIS?  
Aroramage: YOU KNOW I CAN HANDLE THIS!  
Yoshi: Uh, Mage, I hope you don't mind, but there's kind of an important plot device that's about to tear me to shreds here!  
Aroramage: Huh? Oh right, Omega the Beast. Good luck with that!  
Yoshi: Wait, what?  
Aroramage: Yeah, I thought about pulling a plot device out of nowhere to save your ass, but ya know, I think it'll be more interesting to see if you can do it without me being "the Hand of Fate" and what-not.  
Yoshi: But you're the author! You're still writing this!  
Aroramage: Or am I?  
Yoshi: Wait what?  
Aroramage: Who really writes the story? The author who came up with the ideas, or the characters who live it out?

And so, Aroramage dramatically walked off into the distance.

Yoshi:...wait a minute, does this mean Aroramage the Author is a character?  
Waluigi: HE'S THE AUTHOR WRITING THE STORY WITHIN THE STORY AS A CHARACTER FROM THE AUTHOR'S POINT OF VIEW!

INCEPTION  
BWAHHHHHHM

...let's just move on.

BATTLE RE-START!

Sqaure Charm Countdown: 3 Turns!

_The Guardian Hero!  
_Yoshi: 26 HP, 102 SP (danger!)

_The Last Protoine!  
_Omega (BEAST): 171 HP, 258 SP (powered up!)

Yoshi:...wait a minute...does that mean...OF COURSE! I've had the power to beat him all along!  
CC: Yoshi, I honestly don't think you can win at this point.  
Yoshi: Exactly! What's the one thing that always happens at these critical moments?  
Waluigi: Doesn't the author just write some dramatic bit that involves overcoming that near-impossible challenge so that we can move on with the plot?  
Yoshi: Normally, we would think that. But as it turns out...

Yoshi retrieves the Power Stars he's holding onto!

Yoshi:...the author doesn't always write the story.

Yoshi combines the power of the Power Stars with his Elemental Gauntlet and charges up an Elemental Orb!

Omega: Time to end this!

Omega the Beast charges his own energy, combining fire, water, wind, earth, darkness, lightning, psychic, cosmic, and magical energies together into one mighty orb! Yoshi fires off his orb into Omega's Doomsday Elemental Orb as Omega fires it off! The two orbs clash against their power!

CC: YOSHI!  
Ghoulman: DO. IT!  
Waluigi: ROW, ROW-  
Wario: -YOU GOT THE POWAH!  
Waluigi: CLOSE ENOUGH!

Yoshi's fully-charged Elemental Orb matches that of Omega's Doomsday Elemental Orb! The energy surges outwards from their struggle!

Omega: So now what have you accomplished? You're simply delaying the inevitable!  
Yoshi: Well if you're so savvy about all of this, then tell me how it ends?  
Omega: Simple! It ends with my belief that you're crushed into dust, only to realize that-

The energy from Omega's Orb begins to weaken!

Omega: Wait, what's going on? Why am I getting weaker?  
Yoshi: Well go on, you crush me into dust, only to realize that-  
Omega: No! I won't play these silly head games with you!  
Yoshi: Suit yourself! Allow me to tell you what happens: you beat me into the dust, my lifeless body in full view, when suddenly I start to rise to my feet, gain an overwhelming amount of power, and defeat you!  
Omega: And just when was this supposed to happen, hm? You never died!  
Yoshi: It's not the details, it's the principle. You nearly beat me into dust, my approach to death in full view, when suddenly I gained the power of these Stars-

Suddenly, a massive amount of energy surges from Yoshi into his orb! The orb expands and overpowers Omega's orb!

Omega: WHAT? THIS CAN'T BE!  
Yoshi: Which is exactly what I thought you'd say!

Omega is consumed by the combined energy of the orbs and takes a CRITICAL 875 DGE! Omega is defeated!

END BATTLE 5!

The heroes approach Omega's body, which has reverted back to its normal form. Surprisingly, Omega doesn't disperse into dust.

CC: Yoshi, that was incredible!  
Waluigi: But how did you know that would work?  
Yoshi: I didn't. I was kinda winging it. Ya know, making it up as I went along.  
Waluigi: Oh...well then!

The Power Stars are retrieved from Omega!

THE HEROES OBTAIN 7 MORE POWER STARS! THIS HASN'T BEEN USED IN FOREVER!

Our heroes look down upon Omega once more.

Yoshi: What do you think we should do with him?  
Waluigi: For all I care, he can just lay there! Did you know that that crazy science guy shrunk Wario and stuffed into a jar? While he was on fire?  
Wario: Dat was crazy. I may make a minigame out of that one day!  
Gary: But maybe I could just heal him up! He's not that bad of a guy.  
Omega: I don't need your help.

The heroes are shocked to find Omega getting up! Heck, after all of that, I'M surprised he's getting up after that!

Omega: I see that fate, as it were, is not in my favor. Perhaps my world is not one to become the reality. Yet it also seems I have much to learn from such power.  
Yoshi: Well, ya know how that old phrase goes.  
Omega: Indeed. I must take some responsibility for what I've done here. Before, there was nothing more than a peaceful utopian society for the Ukiki here, but it seemed a good place to start new. But perhaps my journey has yet to end. We will meet again. Count on that.

Omega suddenly teleports away!

Yoshi:...well that was suspiciously ominous.  
CC: You think he'll come back?  
Waluigi: Welllllll, I think that-  
Lucky: Hey guys!

Lucky rushes up to everyone!

Lucky: Is everyone alright?  
Yoshi: We're fine. Argh!

Yoshi twinges with pain!

Gary: Looks like we'll need to recover from this a bit.  
Lucky: Take it easy, for now.  
Yoshi: Yeah. Let's get back to the castle.

And so our heroes reunite at the castle, wherein everyone tells of their encounters with the Protoines. The others are shocked by the appearance of Team Sandwich in CC and DK's fight, amazed at Birdo's newfound hidden strength, mourn the loss of a potential ally from Ghoulman's battle, scornful of the actions of Iota in his fight against the Wario Bros., impressed by Gary's new and ever-expanding abilities, excited over the triumph of the Mario Bros.-

-and most of all, perplexed by the end of Lucky's fight.

Who could have such a strange and mysterious power? Lucky speculates someone...

...

...  
"Unbelievable."

The scene unfolds with Omega, wandering about damaged and beaten. He grips his lightning bolt necklace.

Omega: Ayin, give me strength.  
?: The dead can't give you strength.

Omega turns and finds ? standing there, his robes swaying in the breeze.

Omega: Who are you?  
?: A friend, one who shares your ideals for a new world.  
Omega: Don't play games with me, I can see through your lies.  
?: Perhaps you can. But even so, it's not like you plan on fighting me off.

Omega looks at ?. He knows that he can't.

Omega: What are you here for then?  
?: Why I'm here for you.  
Omega: Me? Why me?  
?: You remember those heroes who stood against you? The ones who overthrew your reign?  
Omega: What of them?  
?: They have been given me the same difficulties, you see. You failed against them, and my associates have failed against them as well. Yet together we may have a chance at victory against them.  
Omega: Victory...is that all you want? The ability to triumph over a common foe just so you can obtain what you desire?  
?: My wants are your wants, are they not?  
Omega: My want is a world of peace, not something like your world.  
?: Don't be so naive. A world like yours is absent of so much. Even the heroes knew that much.  
Omega: And what more does your world have to offer?  
?: Perhaps you will not be so easily swayed to my cause after all.  
Omega: Your cause was never one for me anyway.  
?: Then I will simply have to be rid of you myself!  
?2: Back away from him!

Suddenly, a bird flies across to attack ? ? ducks away when suddenly a gunshot goes off, causing ? to explode into a cloud of dark smoke! Omega turns to these new arrivals.

Omega: You seem weary and beaten down. Yet you have rescued me from someone who could have harmed me. I have no knowledge of who you are, and yet you seem familiar.  
?2: Aye, that would not surprise me.

The bird flies over next to the wearied man, who sticks his gun back into its holster. The bird's long beak covers the man's face for a brief moment as it turns towards Omega, who sees it is carrying a sword on its side. The man picks up a captain's hat from the ground behind him, where it seems to have landed when the shot was fired. The man dons the hat and turns back to Omega with a gold-toothed smile.

Captain: After all, some do call me Carlos Rey Unch, but most people know me as Captain Crunch.

(Jan. 26, 2011 - August 26, 2011)

* * *

HELLO, FAITHFUL READERS!

Read the story all the way to this point, huh? I've gotta say that this chapter is THE LONGEST CHAPTER TO DATE! I can't guarantee that future chapters won't be as long as this or longer than this, but hopefully it won't take me the better part of a year to get this next chapter done!

The story is almost over! And so, to you readers, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT NOTICE: coming up, there will be a chapter that closes the books on all your favorite characters! What ever happened to such cameos as Harrison Ford, the Touhou Quintet, or even the Awkward Pause family once they left the story? Where did the Protoines come from and what's their story? What ever happened to those other Power Stars?

What's so important about this chapter? YOU GET TO HELP WRITE IT! Send me an email with your question in regards to the story, and I will answer it come Chapter 20: The Chapter That Explains Everything!

And in the meanwhile, stay tuned for Chapter 17!


	18. Ch 17: The TinyHuge Island Chapter

WARNING: I had way too much fun with this chapter and there are copious amounts of insanity included! Do not attempt to read this chapter while drunk, as you may die of laughter! Talk to your doctor before reading this hilarious chapter! Enjoy as always, my loyal fans~

* * *

**Chapter 17: Honey, I've Been Playing With The Shrinking Machine Too Much**

After the extremely long and drastic events of the last chapter, our heroes delve into the great wonders of the next world.

Waluigi: Ya know, it just occurred to me.  
Yoshi: What's that?  
Waluigi: I feel like we were at Tall, Tall Mountain for months.  
Lucky:...but, weren't we there for only a few hours?  
Waluigi: I KNOW RIGHT?  
Yoshi: Anyways, where should we go next?  
Luigi: Well, considering what we did last time nearly got us killed and yet we survived, we should probably take the time to think things out, come up with a game plan, and-  
Waluigi: I PICK THIS DOOR!

Waluigi charges through another door...as usual.

Luigi: DAMMIT, WALUIGI!

Our heroes now enter a very interesting room, one with three hallways: one directly in front, and then two off to the sides. Each leads to the same painting of a pair of Goombas, one bigger than the other; all the paintings look to be about the same size from where they stand.

Yoshi: Well this is different.  
Mario: I think there was a trick to this room, if I remember right.  
Wario: No time to think! LET'S-A GO!

Wario charges down the hall towards the painting in front! He leaps into the air and gracefully smashes into it!

Mario: Oh right! That one is just a regular painting!  
Waluigi: THERE ARE REGULAR PAINTINGS IN THIS CASTLE?  
Wario: Thanks for the warning...losers...  
Yoshi: So what about these other two paintings?

The heroes walk up to the painting on the left...which they reach much faster than they thought they would.

Gary: This painting's a lot...smaller than the others.  
Yoshi: Considering it's as tall as you...

Most of the heroes are bending over and cramped, although Gary, Ghoulman, and Lucky are standing...er, floating in Ghoulman's case, quite comfortably. Poor Waluigi can't seem to fit in right.

Waluigi: Why would you build a hall in a castle like this? EVER?  
Luigi: Maybe the guy who built it had a sense of humor?  
Ghoulman: I. DON'T. GET. IT!  
Wario: Meh, forget this! I'm going to the other side!

Wario runs down towards the other painting. However, as he approaches, he realizes the painting is much larger until he comes up to the bottom of the frame. He looks up at the painting.

Wario:...this is nuts.

Suddenly, the eyes of the Goombas glare down upon Wario! Wario flips out and scrambles towards the heroes, who are still crammed up next to the other painting! Wario tackles them all into the painting!

The heroes fall through and land solidly on the ground with a painful thud.

Yoshi: Well that was fun.  
Waluigi: Not really.  
?: Hey! Where'd you guys come from?

A very squeaky voice gets the heroes' attention.

Yoshi: Who said that?  
?: Down here, derp-face!

The heroes look at their feet to find an incredibly tiny Goomba!

Yoshi: What the...  
Goomba: How did you freaks get to be so big?  
Mario: Better question is how did you get so small?  
Goomba: Oh ha ha, I've always been this size! Honestly, just cause you can stomp on us any ol day of the week doesn't mean you can just insult us whenever you please! That's insult to injury, assault to battery, pain to...more pain!  
Yoshi: I'm pretty sure that's not how that works.  
Lucky: But wait, he's right! Look at the island!

The heroes note their surroundings and realize that everything seems...smaller.

Waluigi: Maybe the island was always like this?  
Luigi: I don't think so. But now that I think about it, this island was rather peculiar.  
Mario: Shouldn't it be a bit...bigger?  
Luigi: If I remember right, I think this is the one world that was different than the others in terms of arrival.  
Gary: Oh yeah! I read up about this place! Tiny-Huge Island allowed for people to become really small or really big, but it used to be a bit of a tourist attraction until they took down the middle route, so to speak.  
Luigi: That's right! But where did you read that?  
Gary: At the royal library!  
Luigi: But...we don't have a royal library.  
Gary: Bowser does. Although he doesn't really use it much.  
Mario: That explains so much and yet so little.  
Yoshi: So how do we get this to be the right size?  
Luigi: Technically speaking, there is no right size! Just big or small!  
Goomba: Listen, when you guys decide to come down here and be the _right_ size, just jump into that pipe over there.

The Goomba indicates a small warp pipe.

Lucky: Uhh, I may not be familiar with the technicalities of the world, but isn't that warp pipe a little on the small side?  
Yoshi: Eh, I'm sure it'll work out.

The heroes head over to the pipe and head down into its...uh...they head down...or they get stuck in the pipe itself...wait, how does that even happen?

Waluigi: How does this even happen?  
Luigi: This is strange. Usually, the warp pipes don't have this sort of problem. Maybe it's clogged?  
Waluigi: Well, smarty-pants, how do we unclog it?  
Luigi: Oh like I'd know that when this is the first time I've worked with this kind of problem! What's your idea anyway?  
Waluigi: I don't have one, I'd thought you'd have one!  
Lucky: Well we're still stuck.  
DK: IT'S GETTING HARD TO BREATHE HERE...  
CC: I'm not even entirely sure what's going on here.  
Birdo: I'm saying a line for the sake of saying lines.  
Yoshi: Are you sure it's not cause you're the only female character on the team?  
Birdo: Allegedly female.  
Heroes:...  
Readers:...  
Aroramage:...  
Yoshi:...WHAT?  
Birdo: I'm kidding, geez!  
Everybody: *sigh of relief*  
Waluigi: Girl, don't even joke about that.  
Mario: Hang on, the warp pipe's moving!  
Yoshi: Warp pipe is what now?

Sure enough, the warp pipe itself is shifting back and forth, squirming around when it suddenly opens it top incredibly wide and swallows the heroes whole!

Yoshi: What is this I don't even-

Our heroes plummet into the spacial depths of the warp pipe until they suddenly enter into a world of light! And then they hit the ground.

Yoshi: EVERY TIME!  
?: What's wrong with you losers?

The heroes feel the deep booming voice and look up to find a massive brown mound in front of them.

Waluigi: THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, AND I DON'T THINK IT'S THE SOUND OF MUSIC!  
?: Up here, derp-face.

The heroes then look up to find the same Goomba they met now towering above them!

Yoshi: Wait, how do we know it's the same one?  
CC: Probably that chipped tooth, or that ugly mole, or that vacant stare.  
Goomba: I DON'T HAVE AN UGLY MOLE!  
Waluigi: Can't you turn your voice down?  
Wario: Haha, like Silent Hill, except this hill won't shut up!  
Goomba: Man, you guys are hopeless!  
?: Scuse me, pardon me, coming through!

Suddenly a white rabbit comes hopping through the scene and towards a tiny hole!

Rabbit: You'll have to excuse me, I'm running later than the last slice of pie through an elderly man's digestive tract!  
Yoshi: That...wasn't necessary imagery.  
Rabbit: Late late late, can't afford to be later, late late late, someone get that alligator!

The rabbit disappears.

Yoshi:...what the hell?  
Luigi: Someone's lost their marbles, and for once, it's not Waluigi.  
Waluigi: I TOLD YOU, I DROPPED THEM IN THE OCEAN! THERE WAS A BIG STORM-  
Birdo: Never mind that, hon, what's that noise?

An unusual ticking noise can be heard suddenly.

Wario: Hehe, kinda catchy.  
Waluigi: Hehe, yeah...  
DK:...kong...kong...Donkey Kong...Kong...Kong...Donkey Kong...*keeps going*  
Mario: *beginning after Donkey Kong* Mario!...Mario!...*keeps going*  
Wario: *begins on the next verse* Wah! Wah!...Wario!...*keeps going*  
Luigi: *and the next* Luigi...Luigi...Luigi, Luigi-  
Waluigi: *interrupting Luigi* Waluigi! *the two keep going*  
CC: I'M CRUSADER, I'M CRUSADER, OOOH! I'M CRUSADER, I'M CRUSADER, YEAH! I'M CRUSADER, I'M CRUSADER, OOOH! I'M CRUSADER, I'M CRUSADER, YEAH!  
CC&DK: KONG CRIMSON KONG CRIMSON KONG CRIMSON KONG CRIMSON KONG CRIMSON KONG CRIMSON KONG CRIMSON  
Mario: MARIO!  
Waluigi: Waluigi!  
Everyone: *returns to what they were doing*  
CC: Crimson Crusader, Crimson Crusader, Crimson Crusader, Crimson Crusader-  
Everyone:  
Singing our song,  
all day long,  
on THE CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRA!  
Yoshi: Guys, I found the source of the ticking noise.  
Birdo: Really?  
Yoshi: It's a giant alligator that's gonna eat us if we don't leave.  
Waluigi:...you're making that up.  
Yoshi: Tell that to the alligator!

Sure enough, a massive alligator with rather large lips stands before them ticking away.

Waluigi: Oh...didn't see that coming.  
Yoshi: RUN FOR IT!

The heroes run off into a nearby hole!

Big-lipped alligator: Hahahahahaha...*taps a beat away* Alligat, Alligat, or alli-alli-alligat-or! *swims away*

Meanwhile, in the hole...

Yoshi: Luigi, I think you forgot to mention that one detail about the island being COMPLETELY INSANE!  
Luigi: How was I supposed to know about the alligator? I didn't even know we had alligators in this universe!  
Yoshi: Let's just never speak of it ever again.  
Waluigi: But-  
Yoshi: NEVER AGAIN!  
?: Later later later, now I must be faster, later later later, hope there's no disaster!

The white rabbit suddenly hops through the scene and disappears into a doorway, which shuts itself behind it!

Yoshi: AND WHAT IS WITH THAT WHITE RABBIT?  
CC: I don't know, but he seems...familiar...  
Gary: What do you mean?  
CC: I can't help but think I've seen him somewhere before...  
Gary: Maybe we should follow him!  
Yoshi: If it's all the same to you guys, I'd rather keep my sanity with me, thank you very much.  
Waluigi: Yoshi, Yoshi, Yoshi, you forget that you're in a story that-  
Aroramage: STOP WITH THE FOURTH WALL BREAKING, I JUST HAD THIS CARPET CLEANED!  
Wario: *farts* Scuse me.  
Aroramage: Insult to injury, I tell ya.  
Lucky: So what now?  
Aroramage:...CHAO! GET IN HERE!

The Red Chao enters into Aroramage's office.

TRC: What's up, magey?  
Aroramage: *points at screen* What's this?  
TRC: Well, the story, of course! Hey, is that-  
Aroramage: NOT THAT! THIS!  
TRC: *takes a closer look*...that looks like the option I chose!  
Aroramage: And do you know what that option says?  
TRC: Well it says, "break the fourth wall."  
Aroramage: That's right. Now can you tell me why I put it in there?  
TRC: Fill some space in the roulette?  
Aroramage:...well, yes, but what else?  
TRC: Uh, thought it would be funny?  
Aroramage: Funny how?  
TRC: Funny...to write about?  
Aroramage: More like funny as in a joke, as in you don't get that option.  
TRC: If it's any consolation, I was aiming for the "You choose!" option.  
Aroramage: Chao, look around you for a moment, and tell me how many walls are around me.

The Red Chao takes a look around the space.

TRC: Looks like you have three walls!  
Aroramage: Very good. Now tell me, where is my fourth wall?  
TRC: Your...but you don't have a fourth wall.  
Aroramage: Well that's a shame, cause I was told to break the fourth wall, but how can I break something THAT DOESN'T EXIST?  
TRC: Magey, can I ask a quick question?  
Aroramage: What.  
TRC: What's this pile of dust on the floor here?  
Aroramage: Oh that? Why that just happens to be the FOURTH WALL I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE!  
TRC: Good grief, what happened to it?  
Aroramage: Everything.

The dust pile poofs a bit.

Aroramage: Hang on.

Aroramage grabs some dust and pours it into a machine with the label, "4th-Wall Repairer's Mechanizational Buildifyer". Instantly, the machine bursts into life, zapping out a ray that creates a wall - which spontaneously explodes!

TRC: Geez!  
Aroramage: Even now, the fourth wall wants to blow itself to smithereens.  
TRC: How come?  
Aroramage: I don't know, probably because THAT WAS THE OPTION!  
TRC: So?  
Aroramage: SO IT'S BLOWING ITSELF UP!  
TRC: And?  
Aroramage: I'VE ALREADY BLOWN IT INTO-

The dust pile poofs again. Aroramage grabs it and puts it back in the machine, creating a new wall to explode!

Aroramage: I'VE ALREADY BLOWN IT INTO PIECES!  
TRC: So how are you breaking the fourth wall right now?  
Aroramage: Hell if I know. It could be Yoshi doing his paragraph thing, or Waluigi being a menace, or SCP randomly jumping into my story!  
TRC: Why SCP?  
Aroramage: Who else?  
TRC: Fair enough.  
Aroramage: Or maybe...hang on...

Aroramage turns to his desk to find the AuthorWritorAutoMatador on again. The focus is on him.

Aroramage: I knew there was something weird going on when I heard the continuous pitter-patter of the keys!  
TRC: Like raindrops falling on one's head!  
Aroramage: Oh hush.

Aroramage switches the perspective to-

Lucky: So what now?  
Gary: Let's follow the rabbit! He's the only one who probably has a clue as to what's going on!  
Yoshi: Well, I guess that makes sense, but I really don't think-  
DK: What's this doing here?

The other heroes take note of DK's observation and find a simple table with a glass bottle filled with a mysterious glowing purple liquid. The heroes investigate this newfound object with keen interest.

Waluigi: Gee, I wonder what's in that mysterious glass bottle with the weird glowing purple liquid in it.  
Yoshi: Yes, Waluigi, we can see it.  
CC: Should we drink it?  
Luigi: Well what's the worst that could happen?  
Yoshi: A LOT could happen.  
?: Dwink me, dwink me!

The bottle chimes in and continues on its insistent messaging!

DK: Well, I don't need anything more than that!  
Yoshi: This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

The heroes then each take a swig of the bottle, albeit some with more reluctance than others.

Bottle: Dwink, dwink, dwink me up,  
keep on dwinking me!  
Dwinkily, dwunkily, dwinkily, dwunkily,  
keep on dwinking me!

After the last of the liquid is dwunk, the bottle disappears without a trace.

Yoshi: I say, that drink was certainly different than anything I'd ever drunk before!  
Waluigi: My brethren, the Light of Truth shines down upon us, looking at us in a strange way. Do you not believe we sound a bit astray?  
CC: Ehhhhhh? What you sayyyyyy?  
Mario: Waluigi, I say I say Waluigi, I haven't the darnedest as to what you're thinking, boy!  
Luigi: Reah, rhat's rup rith rat? *scratches behind his ear with his foot*  
Waluigi: *choral gospel music picks up in the back* Oh lordy, how I preach the Gospel of Truth, my brothers and sisters!  
Heroes: Amen!  
Waluigi: How da LORD says that drink was an estrange-ed brew!  
Heroes: Hallelujah!  
Waluigi: Can I get an Amen!  
Heroes: Amen!  
Waluigi: I SAID CAN I GET AN AMEN!  
Heroes: AMEN!

At that moment, the door swung open and blinded them with the light of the outside!

Lucky: I taught I taw a thiny light!  
Ghoulman: *holds up sign*  
Sign: YES. YOU. DID!  
Lucky: I DID, I DID TEE A THINY LIGHT!  
Waluigi: That's the Light of Truth, shining upon us, blessing us with the greatness of the Lord! CAN I GET AN AMEN?  
Heroes: AMEN!  
Yoshi: We best depart from the vicinity of the area before we all lose our heads! Mhm, yes, lose our heads, chicken joke, very funny, very witty. *sips tea*  
Gary: Bloo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loooo!  
Birdo: MEEP MEEP!

And so our heroes exit the room and come into the light.

Waluigi: CAN I GET AN-  
Aroramage: YOU GOT ENOUGH!

As the heroes enter the light, a mysterious light purple cloud sparkles and disappears above their heads.

Yoshi:...well that was just weird.  
Gary: What happened?  
Waluigi: I think we've just...*brings out shades*...seen the light!  
The Who: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Yoshi:...please let this day be over.  
?: Running running running,  
Not a moment's end in sight,  
Running running running,  
Oh goodness, it's so bright!

The heroes spot the white rabbit hopping away towards a mountain path!

WR: Move it move it move it,  
There's no more time to lose!  
Move it move it move it,  
Before I pay my dues!

The white rabbit disappears once again up the path.

Yoshi:...this isn't over till it's over, is it?  
?: Hey!

The heroes turn the other direction and find none other than Koopa the Quick!

Koopa: Well well well, if it isn't my old pals, Yoshi, Crimson, and Mario!  
Mario: Eh?  
CC: Why you're that Koopa we ran into at Bob-omb Battlefield!  
Koopa: That's me! And I see you've got quite the posse here!  
Yoshi: Well, we might've run into a few fellows along the way.  
Waluigi: A few?  
Yoshi: Okay, a LOT of fellows.  
Koopa: Say, Yoshi, you never did bring snacks to us back at the end of that race!  
Yoshi: Eh?  
Koopa: And I think, Mario, that you've put on a couple of pounds since then too!  
Mario: Ehhh?  
Koopa: And Crimson, you look...kinda dirty. Have you taken a bath recently?  
CC: Ehhhhh?  
Koopa: Ahhh, but you guys don't look anything like the rest of these guys!  
Yoshi/Mario/CC: Ehhhhhhhh?  
Koopa: Why, just look at this tub of lard here!  
Wario: I'm a damn proud tub of lard, thank you very much!  
Koopa: Yes, well, lard is lard no matter how you spell it.  
Waluigi: Not true! You could also spell...uhh...lard, l-a-r-d...r...a...l...d? Rald!  
Koopa: See, that doesn't even make sense! You must be dumber than a sack of nails!  
Waluigi: I'm probably as sharp as one too!  
Koopa: And then there's this little guy.  
Lucky: What about me?  
Koopa: Honestly, have you even looked at yourself in a mirror? Green's totally not the in-color this month.  
Lucky: Huh?  
Koopa: Even I upgraded my shell to keep up with the times!

Sure enough, Koopa the Quick's shell is actually blue with some spikes and a couple of decals of wings.

Lucky: So?  
Koopa: Tacky tacky.  
Lucky: I'LL SHOW YOU TACK!  
Koopa: And a temper! Not like this guy here.  
Ghoulman: WHO. ME?  
Koopa: Yeah, only you could afford to be more quiet. Honestly, I think you woke up Sleeping Beauty with that last sentence!  
Ghoulman: WHO'S. SLEEPING. BEAU-  
Koopa: Yeah yeah yeah, case and point, hush! And then we come to this other guy!  
Luigi: Oh great.  
Koopa: No, not great, terrible! Do you know how much trouble you've been causing?  
Luigi: Been causing what now?  
Koopa: Yeah, what with your robots and your maniacal laughter and your over-the-top dramatic flair for being a villain.  
Luigi: That's my evil twin, actually, Mr. L.  
Koopa: Oh...oh...ohhhhhh...oh boy, this is awkward...um...who are you?  
Luigi: I'M F***ING LUIGI!  
Koopa: Eww, no, I don't care about your sex life. Oh whatever, be less forgettable. Ya know what, be like her!  
Birdo: Oh, darling.  
Koopa: No seriously, you're the only female even on this team, the only one in pink, the only one with any fashion sense-  
Birdo: Ohoho, please stop.  
Koopa: -and most importantly you're the most trolling character in this story.  
Birdo: Ehhhhhhhhhh?  
Koopa: The readers voted you to appear at some point, and you don't bother to show up till 13 chapters into the story? Honestly, even Indiana Jones appeared faster than you, and he doesn't even have anything to do with this!  
Yoshi: Actually, that was Harrison Ford.  
Koopa: Whatever, same difference.  
Birdo: I liked you better when you were complimenting me!  
Koopa: Move it or lose it, sister.  
Gary: I'm all for biting off this guy's legs.  
Koopa: Ohoho, right, the shrimpy wizard's gonna take me down. Whaddya gonna do, shoot lightning at me? I BREATHE LIGHTNING! Blast some fire? I CREATED FIRE! Blow some wind? I AM THE WIND!  
Gary: Bite your leg off?  
Koopa: I'M ALWAYS THE LEG OFF!  
Yoshi: Be an annoying douchebag?  
Koopa: I'M ALWAYS THE ANNOYING DOUCHEBAG!  
Yoshi: Do you even hear what you're saying?  
Koopa: I'M ALWAYS HEARING WHAT I'M SAYING!  
Yoshi: Just checking.  
Koopa: I'M ALWAYS CHECKING!  
Mario: Maybe you'd care to settle this in a more civil manner.  
Koopa: I'M ALWAYS CARING TO SETTLE THIS IN A-oh, okay, sounds reasonable!  
Yoshi: And better than whatever nonsense you were on about.  
Koopa: We'll race to the top of the island! I'll even let every one of you guys race! And if by some strange chance you happen to beat me again, I'll give you guys this.

Koopa then pulls out a Power Star, which shines as radiantly as ever.

Yoshi: Where do you keep getting these?  
Koopa:...Internet.  
Waluigi: *cough cough* Bullshit *cough cough*  
Koopa: So we got a race?  
Mario: So if any of us beats you, we'll get the star.  
Koopa: Yep! Ready, set, and go!

Koopa runs forward, but Waluigi trips him, causing Koopa to run into the ground. And then he keeps running. Then he starts running faster and faster until he is literally running through the ground!

Yoshi:...wow.  
Mario: Let's get to the top of this island!

And so the heroes head off to the top of the island. Though there are some troubles along the way, including Giant Goombas, Giant Koopas, Chuckyas, some Bandersnatches, a basilisk, some frabjous Piranha Plants, a pair of flamboyant Jubjub birds who loved to gyre, and even-

Yoshi: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...whoa...what the heck is this?  
Waluigi: Ah yes, I remember those frabjous Piranha Plants!  
Yoshi: That's not even a word!  
Aroramage: Tell that to my spellcheck.  
Yoshi: And what the heck is a Bandersnatch?  
Waluigi: Personally, I think the weirdest thing we've seen is that Chuckya.  
Wario: Seriously, what-a the hell is that thing? Whatever it is, I'll be seeing it in my nightmares.

Anywho, they eventually reach the top.

Waluigi: Touchdown heroes!  
CC: I wonder where Koopa ran off to anyway.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away...

Koopa: I'm innocent, I tell ya! Innocent!  
Cop: Yeah yeah, tell that to the judge.  
Koopa: Wait, my Power Star! Where did my Power Star go?

Meanwhile, back at the top of the island...

Yoshi: Aw, dangit, we should've grabbed the Power Star from him when we had the chance!  
Waluigi: You mean this Power Star?

Waluigi pulls out the Power Star Koopa had supposedly lost!

Yoshi: You snatched it up when he tripped, didn't you?  
Waluigi: Absolutely!  
?: Grab grab grab,  
I'll be taking that star!  
Nab nab nab,  
And then I'll run far!

Suddenly the white rabbit from before pops in and steals the Power Star!

Yoshi: Oh you have got to be kidding me!  
Waluigi: Hey! That's my Power Star! I stole it fair and square!  
WR: Oh? You want this Star?  
Waluigi: I want it!  
WR: You want this Star?  
Waluigi: I want it!  
WR: You want this Star?  
Waluigi: I want it!  
WR: You want, you want?  
Waluigi: GIVE ME THAT STAR!

Waluigi and the other heroes charge at the white rabbit, who suddenly drops down a hole in the top of the island!

WR: Better luck next time, suckers!  
Waluigi: OH NO YOU DON'T!

Waluigi brings out several Bob-ombs and blasts the top hole, not expanding it but forgetfully blowing the heroes away too! Eventually, the explosions settle down to make a large enough hole for them to conveniently fall through!

Yoshi: Way to go, Waluigi.  
Waluigi: Thank you!  
Yoshi: That wasn't a compliment!

Our heroes land on the ground with a rather painful thud.

?: WAAAAAAAAA!

Suddenly, the heroes look up and find a large Wiggler in their midst!

Wiggler: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLLLLLLLLLLLLE! WHYYYYYYYYY? FIRST A FLOOD, THEN A RABBIT, AND NOW A MOTLEY CREW OF WHO-KNOWS-ITS!  
Waluigi: What'd he call us?  
CC: I don't think even he knows.  
Wiggler: LLLLLLOOK AT THIS MESS! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW? THE CEILLLLLING'S RUINED, THE FLLLLLOOOOOOOORRRRR IS SOAKED...WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO? Huff...huff...  
Yoshi: Well he seems to be calming down.  
Wiggler:...did you just call me a "he"?  
Yoshi: Um, yes?  
Wiggler...I'm a girl Wiggler.  
Yoshi:...how can ya tell?  
Wiggler:...it makes me so...MAD! EVERRRRRYTHING'S BEEN GOING WRRRRONG SINCE I GOT THIS STARRRR...it's so shiny, but it makes me feellll...strrrrrrange...  
Waluigi: Boy that ain't the only thing.  
Wiggler: ENOUGH! COME TO ME, MY JABBERWOCKY!  
Yoshi: Her Jabber-what-now?

From the depths of the cavern, a frightful tyrannical roar is heard. Then a series of thumps shake the ground as a large hideous beast appears, flapping its batty wings. Its tail slithers upon the ground while its reptilian legs stomp into the ground. Its clawed fingers are long and ragged, and its long snakelike neck lead to its whiskered face, two pairs of feelers stretching up and down while a beaver-toothed mouth did snarl. It looked upon the heroes with a frightful burning in its eyes and let out another fearsome roar!

Yoshi:...her Jabber-what-now?  
Wiggler: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

BATTLE 1 START!

Sane Insanity!  
Yoshi: 130 HP, 125 SP  
CC: 125 HP, 120 SP  
Waluigi: 125 HP, 105 SP  
DK: 135 HP, 125 SP  
Mario: 130 HP, 125 SP  
Lucky: 115, 125 SP  
Gary: 115 HP, 130 SP  
Luigi: 135 HP, 120 SP  
Ghoulman: 140 HP, 110 SP  
Birdo: 125 HP, 120 SP  
Wario: 125 HP, 120 SP

Insane Sanity!  
Wiggler of Hearts: 650 HP, 200 SP  
Jabberwocky: 1000 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi uses the Elemental Gauntlet! He charges it with Fiery Chaos and fires it at the Jabberwocky!

Yoshi: KILL IT WITH FIRE!

The Jabberwocky takes 50 dge! CC slashes at the Jabberwocky for 2 dge. Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the Jabberwocky for 24 dge! DK charges up his punch for 3 SP! Mario uses Fire Punch for 2 SP! He sets his fist ablaze and punches the Jabberwocky for 25 dge! The Jabberwocky is burned! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Shooting Star charm to boost the heroes' SP by 10! Gary summons an Aqua Dragon for 7 SP! The Aqua Dragon attacks the Jabberwocky for 37 dge! Luigi uses Thunder Punch for 2 SP! He charges his hand with electricity and punches the Jabberwocky for 22 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 3 SP! He summons three Pink Boos and tosses them at the Jabberwocky for 17+16+17 dge! Birdo uses her mighty Bracelet and uses Super Punch! She throws a mighty punch upon the Jabberwocky for 34 dge! Wario Chomps down on the Jabberwocky for 3 dge!

Wario: *patooey* That thing tastes nasty!

The Wiggler of Hearts lounges around.

Wiggler: Go kill them, my pretty!

The Jabberwocky lets out a fierce roar and slashes at the heroes for 18 dge! The Jabberwocky takes 5 burn dge!

Sane Insanity!  
Yoshi: 112 HP, 135 SP  
CC: 107 HP, 130 SP  
Waluigi: 107 HP, 115 SP  
DK: 117 HP, 132 SP  
Mario: 112 HP, 133 SP  
Lucky: 97, 132 SP  
Gary: 97 HP, 133 SP  
Luigi: 117 HP, 128 SP  
Ghoulman: 122 HP, 117 SP  
Birdo: 107 HP, 130 SP  
Wario: 107 HP, 130 SP

Insane Sanity!  
Wiggler of Hearts: 650 HP, 200 SP (lounging~)  
Jabberwocky: 748 HP, 0 SP (burned!)

Yoshi charges the Gauntlet with Frozen Demise and blasts a cold beam of ice at the Jabberwocky for CRITICAL 78 dge! CC slashes at the Jabberwocky twice for 2 SP! The Jabberwocky takes 15+11 dge! Waluigi throws a Bob-omb at the Jabberwocky for 36 dge! DK unleashes a Giant Punch on the Jabberwocky for 45 dge! Mario uses 2 SP for another Fire Punch! The Jabberwocky takes 34 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover to increase the team's luck! Gary uses the Aqua Dragon to strike at the Jabberwocky! The Jabberwocky takes 47 dge! Luigi uses Flame Tornado for 3 SP! He sets his hands ablaze and spins about into a flaming twister! He hits both the Jabberwocky and the Wiggler of Hearts for 49 and 23 dge respectively!

Wiggler: Owww! Oh this won't do at all!

Ghoulman uses the Ghost Cannon for 3 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, then spits them out at the Jabberwocky for 23+24+23 dge! Birdo uses the Egg Cannon for 4 SP! She sucks in air and blasts out an egg at the Jabberwocky for CRITICAL 57 dge! A red ruby was inside the egg!

Birdo: Ooooooh, lovely~

Birdo snatches up the ruby! Wario uses the Piledriver for 4 SP! He grabs the Jabberwocky, then miraculously jumps into the air with it and slams its head into the ground! The Jabberwocky takes CRITICAL 76 dge and is stunned!

Wiggler: Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh nooooooo! I must bring in the back-up services!

The Wiggler of Hearts calls upon her secret back-up service!

Wiggler: Somebody save me!  
?: Have no fear, madam!

Suddenly, out of the nowhere-like back door entrance, there appears-

?: THE HAZARD BOYS ARE HERE!  
Yoshi:...who?  
Aroramage: Ask Chao.  
Yoshi:...why?  
TRC: Hehehehehehe, I'm so devious~  
?: Hazard Boys, role call!  
?2: Yah yah, Rough and Bunkah are here.  
?3: Yah yah, Bunkah and Rough are here.  
Rough: I already said dat, Bunkah!  
Bunker: I was agreeing wichu, Rough!  
?4: Speeding past the devils of the White Sphere, who might it be but I, the mighty Water, sucking on all of your balls!  
Waluigi: *bursts out laughing*  
?: Water, you've really got to fix that introduction.  
Water: Well what else can I with that? You've already denied washing your balls, cleansing your balls, sweeping your balls out to high sea - I even tried just blue balls!  
Waluigi: *rolling on the floor laughing, aka rofling*  
?: Eh-hem, yes, thank you Water, that's enough.  
Water: Grrrrrrr.  
?: And I, Lateral, am also here.  
Yoshi: Wait a sec...where have I heard these before?  
Lateral: Oh you might know us from the great Fairway Galaxy, where we battle onwards with our commander-in-charge Colonel Bogey to stop the ever-present and ever-dangerous Clubbers and their leader, the White Sphere.  
Gary: You know, now that you mention it, this does sound really familiar...  
Lateral: Perhaps you've heard of some of our great battles in the territories of Britannia, Finlandia, and Auschwitz? Or maybe some of our classic tactics, such as the PGA Chipper, the USOC Slice, and of course my personal favorite the Masters Wooden Axe Slam?  
Wario: This sounds stupid.  
Lateral: On the contrary, the Masters Wooden Axe Slam is quite fascinating! You see, we take our powers and-  
Yoshi: I'm sorry, but who are you guys?  
Lateral: Why, we're the Hazard Boys! Led by our-  
Yoshi: I GOT THAT!  
Wiggler: Lateral, I need your help!  
Lateral: Of course, Madame Queen Butterfly Wiggler of the Kolven Age! We will assist you with the utmost urgency! Boys, assembly time!

Rough, Bunker, Water, and Lateral join the enemies! The Jabberwocky breathes out the Toxic Flames of Thunder at the heroes! Luckily, they only take 24 dge each!

Yoshi: Luckily?  
Aroramage: That was supposed to inflict over twice as much damage and poison, burn, and paralyze you.  
Yoshi:...oh...

Jabberwocky takes 14 burn dge!

Sane Insanity! (increased luck)  
Yoshi: 88 HP, 135 SP  
CC: 83 HP, 130 SP  
Waluigi: 83 HP, 115 SP  
DK: 93 HP, 132 SP  
Mario: 88 HP, 131 SP  
Lucky: 73, 129 SP  
Gary: 73 HP, 133 SP  
Luigi: 93 HP, 125 SP  
Ghoulman: 98 HP, 114 SP  
Birdo: 83 HP, 126 SP  
Wario: 83 HP, 126 SP

Insane Sanity!  
Wiggler of Hearts: 627 HP, 200 SP (lounging~)  
Jabberwocky: 214 HP, 0 SP (burned!)  
Rough: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Bunker: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Water: 200 HP, 0 SP  
Lateral: 200 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: TIME TO SLAY A JABBERWOCKY!

Yoshi triggers the Elemental Gauntlet! The Gauntlet glows and drains 12 SP from Yoshi! The Gauntlet mixes the elements together and forges Elemental Fury's Sword!

Yoshi: And just when I thought this gauntlet couldn't get any better.

Yoshi attacks the Jabberwocky with the sword! Jabberwocky takes CRITICAL 143+113 dge!

Jabberwocky: *screech* ARGONAUTS!  
Yoshi:...huh?

The Jabberwocky has been slain!

Yoshi:...okay then!

CC slashes at the Wiggler of Hearts!

Bunker: Nah you don'!

Bunker summons a bunch of sand to deflect the slash!

Rough: Yah yah, no attack gets by us!  
Bunker: Yah yah, you won't get an attack past us!  
Rough: I already said dat, Bunkah!  
Bunker: Yah yah, I reiterate for emphasis!  
Rough: Re whatta for whozit?  
Lateral: Gentlemen, focus!  
R&B: Yah, Lateral.

Waluigi brings out an Alarm Bob-omb for 3 SP, setting the timer for 2 turns and releasing it at the opposing team! DK teams up with Gary, both using 6 SP each for the Cloning Blaster! Gary hops into one of two barrel cannons summoned by DK! DK then shoots out multiple Garys at the opposing team! Bunker uses his sand power to protect Wiggler! The Hazard Boys take 23+25+22+24 dge each! Mario and Luigi team up and use up 8 SP each for the Dual Tornado! Mario uses his fire power in conjunction with Luigi's lightning power to create a powerful flaming electrical twister! The enemies all take 34 dge each! Lucky uses the Magic Marshmallow charm for 3 SP! He uses the Heart charm to give the heroes regeneration! Ghoulman summons two pink Boos for 2 SP to forge the Ghost Blade! He strikes at Rough for 17 dge! Birdo punches Bunker for 23 dge! Wario chomps down on Water for 3 dge!

Lateral: Men, it seems the enemy are tougher than we thought!  
Water: Do we do the maneuver?  
Lateral: I've already sent the word to the Colonel regarding the matter! He'll arrive shortly. For now, gentlemen! Attack formation!

Rough and Bunker assume the back row! Water gets down in front! Lateral takes central positon!

HB: ATTACK FORMATION! STRIKE!

Rough summons several vines! Bunker summons a sandstorm! Water brings out a couple of water spouts! Lateral charges two fireballs! The attack pattern lashes out! Vines, sandstorm, water blasts, fire blasts! The heroes take 34 dge each! The Wiggler continues lounging!

Wiggler: Beat them down, my minions-for-hire!

The heroes regain 15 HP each!

Sane Insanity! (increased luck) (regeneration)  
Yoshi: 69 HP, 123 SP  
CC: 64 HP, 130 SP  
Waluigi: 64 HP, 112 SP  
DK: 74 HP, 126 SP  
Mario: 69 HP, 123 SP  
Lucky: 54, 129 SP  
Gary: 54 HP, 127 SP  
Luigi: 64 HP, 117 SP  
Ghoulman: 79 HP, 112 SP  
Birdo: 64 HP, 126 SP  
Wario: 64 HP, 126 SP

Insane Sanity!  
Wiggler of Hearts: 593 HP, 200 SP (lounging~)  
Rough: 55 HP, 0 SP  
Bunker: 49 HP, 0 SP  
Water: 69 HP, 0 SP  
Lateral: 72 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: Time to end this!

Yoshi pays 12 SP to keep his Elemental Fury's Sword! He strikes at Water for 34 dge! CC uses Crimson Fury for 7 SP! He glows crimson and slashes down at Rough, Bunker, Water, and Lateral for 17 dge each! Waluigi throws a Sticky Bob-omb for 2 SP at Wiggler! Bunker sweeps the Bob-omb aside with his sand wall! The Sticky Bob-omb gets stuck on the sand wall and ends up attached to Bunker and explodes! Bunker takes 12 dge! DK brings out a Banana Peel and tosses it onto the ground in front of the enemies! Mario throws a Fireball for 3 SP at Lateral! Lateral takes 3 dge. Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 3 SP! He uses the Magic Mirror charm to set-up a barrier around the heroes! Gary uses Burner Breath for 4 SP! He spews out an intense flame! Water counters by dousing the attack with water, weakening it! Rough takes the hit for 7 dge!

Gary: They're using their elemental powers to counter our attacks!  
Luigi: Well then, let's see what they do about this!

Luigi uses Lightning Strike for 7 SP and charges up with electricity! He leaps into the air and fires off lightning at the enemies! Rough brings out a plant wall to absorb the lightning, but the attack disintegrates the plants! The enemies take 16 dge each, except for Water who takes 32 dge! Water is KO'd!

Water: Damn, I knew my time was short-lived!  
Lateral: Stick together, men! The Colonel will arrive shortly!

Ghoulman slashes the Ghost Blade at Bunker for 8 dge! Bunker is KO'd! Birdo uses Suck-n-Punch for 3 SP! She sucks up Rough and lays him in an egg, then punches the egg at Lateral! Lateral blocks the attack with a fire wall, only to burn Rough inside the egg! Rough takes 25 dge and is KO'd!

Lateral:...huh...well that could've gone better.  
Wario: Hehehe, maybe you'd care for a slice of DEATH PIE!  
Lateral: I'm sorry, what are you getting at?  
Waluigi: Uh oh.  
Yoshi: What is it?  
Waluigi: HEAD FOR THE HILLS, HE'S GONNA BLOW!

Wario charges at Lateral and leaps into the air!

Wario: Behold, the secret family technique of the garlic-eating Wario family!

Wario unleashes the Wario Waft! He farts out a toxic gas upon Lateral!

Lateral: Oh god, that reeks! What in the world-*cough*-did you eat? Mercy, I haven't smelt anything this bad since that time we encountered the Enlarged Larvae at the Florida-Wellington Shootout!

Lateral is poisoned by the gas and takes 16 dge from the attack! The Wiggler of Hearts is distraught!

Wiggler: Oh no, my royal bodyguards have been beaten so easily!  
?: TEN HUT!

Suddenly, a military general appears with a jetpack!

?: Lateral, damage report! Stat!  
Lateral: Sir *cough* it appears these invaders are much stronger than *cough cough* than we anticipated.  
?: Body count?  
Lateral: 3 sir. *cough* I fear I may be number four...  
?: Dagnabbit! Gotta leave everything to Colonel Bogey, don't we?  
Lateral: My apologies for our failure, sir. *cough*  
Bogey: AND QUIT YER COUGHING, SON! I ain't made of anti-bacterial spray!

Colonel Bogey slaps Lateral around and smacks him into the ground for 10 dge! Lateral is too sick to get up and takes 10 dge from the poison, KO'ing him instantly!

Bogey: Alright, maggots, listen up! It's time to pull your panties out of your miniskirts and loosen up your girly school uniforms, cause I'm about to **** you over big time!  
Birdo: RAPE!

Colonel Bogey performs the Bogey Ram! He charges at the heroes and smashes through the barrier! He bulldozes the heroes for 13 dge each!

Yoshi: How the hell did he do that?  
Bogey: Son, when you finally get around to taking those training pants on and sit on the toilet like a grown man, you might just learn a thing or two!  
Yoshi: And why do I feel violated every time he speaks? o_O  
Bogey: I ain't done yet!

Colonel Bogey unleashes the Bogey Meteor Smash! He rises into the air and slams down on the heroes for 18 dge each!

Bogey: And for the finale!

Colonel Bogey unleashes the Bogey Spiraling Twister! He extends his arms and spins around, creating a tornado around himself and charging down the heroes! Yoshi, DK, Lucky, and Ghoulman take 13 dge each! CC, Gary, and Birdo take 18 dge each! Waluigi, Mario, and Luigi take 23 dge each! Wario takes 28 dge!

Bogey: Lucky punks, you should be pissing your pants with torrents of melted organs and weeping with tears after all of that, begging for mercy at the humbling feet of yours truly!

The heroes recover 15 HP each! The heroes no longer have increased luck!

Sane Insanity! (regeneration)  
Yoshi: 40 HP, 111 SP  
CC: 30 HP, 123 SP  
Waluigi: 25 HP, 110 SP  
DK: 43 HP, 126 SP  
Mario: 30 HP, 120 SP  
Lucky: 25, 126 SP  
Gary: 20 HP, 123 SP  
Luigi: 30 HP, 110 SP  
Ghoulman: 50 HP, 112 SP  
Birdo: 30 HP, 123 SP  
Wario: 20 HP, 126 SP

Insane Sanity!  
Wiggler of Hearts: 593 HP, 200 SP (distraught!)  
Colonel Bogey: 300 HP, 0 SP

Yoshi: I don't think we can take another hit like that!  
Gary: I don't think we have any moves that can take out 300 HP at once!  
Mario: We do, actually.  
Luigi: So we're gonna have to do that, huh?  
Mario: Yep. We're gonna need to Final Smash these guys!  
Luigi: In that case...

Luigi gains a speed boost and charges forth! He uses up all his SP to unleash his Final Smash: Negative Zone! He envelops the enemies inside of the Negative Zone, negating counters and inflicting extra damage each turn! Yoshi pays 12 SP to keep his Elemental Fury's Sword! He slashes down on Colonel Bogey for 48+37 dge! Colonel Bogey and Wiggler take 1 dge each due to Negative Zone!

CC: Time for my secret technique!

CC uses up all his SP for Crimson Mirage! His speed increases tenfold, allowing him to strike all the enemies at once! He blurs up and hits the enemy with a flurry of attacks! Colonel Bogey and Wiggler take 87 dge each! Colonel Bogey and Wiggler take 2 dge each due to Negative Zone! Waluigi and Wario team up and use all of their SP to transform!

Wario: In the dark of the night-  
Waluigi: -amidst a good fight-  
Wario: -someone better bring a light-  
Waluigi: -so that they'll avoid a fright!  
W&W: FROM NONE OTHER THAN-

Wario transforms into-

Wario: Wario-Man!

Waluigi transforms into-

Waluigi: Waluigi Kid!

The Dynamic and Garlicky Duo arrive on the scene! They pulver-pound Wiggler for 76+55 dge! Colonel Bogey and Wiggler take 4 dge each due to Negative Zone! DK uses all of his SP for Final Smash: Konga Beat! He beats out a mighty rhythm on the konga drums, smacking around Wiggler and Bogey for 57 dge each! Colonel Bogey and Wiggler take 8 dge each due to Negative Zone!

Wiggler: Oh no no no no no no no no no!  
Bogey: What the Sam Hill is going on? Where did this power come from all of a sudden?

Mario uses all of his SP to unleash his Final Smash: Mario Finale! He unleashes twin dragons of flame at the enemy, hitting them both for 65+65 dge each! Colonel Bogey is defeated!

Bogey: Unreal! Unbelievable! This power must be mine! I must have it! The power! THIS POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!  
Yoshi: Yeah, you can just go now.  
Bogey: Oh right, I've been beaten. *explodes*  
Yoshi:...well that was unnecessary.

Wiggler takes 16 dge due to Negative Zone! Wiggler holds up a white flag!

Wiggler: Oh please, please, PLEASE, stop! I give up! You win! I can't beat this kind of power!  
Lucky: Awww, and I was about to unleash my Magical Marshmallow Ultimatum.  
Gary: And I was about to use my Final Blast!  
Ghoulman: AND. I. WAS. ABOUT. TO-  
Wiggler: Enough! Just take the Power Stars, they're yours!

BATTLE END!

The heroes have received 7 Power Stars from the Wiggler of Hearts!

Wiggler: *cries* Uwa~

The Wiggler has fled!

Mario: Well, looks like we got the Power Stars from this wor-  
?: Your Majesty, am I late?

Suddenly, the white rabbit appears again!

WR: Oh my, what happened here?  
Yoshi: Uh, just some big battle.  
WR: Really? And I missed it? Huh. Well, I suppose the queen won't mind my tardiness now.  
Yoshi: Well, she did kinda lose.  
WR:...OH NO! I must go comfort my queen immediately!

And with that the white rabbit fled the scene!

Yoshi:...well then.  
Gary: Are we going to leave soon? My brain's starting to hurt from how weird this place is.  
Waluigi: Well, we could just go through the looking glass!  
Yoshi:...what?  
Waluigi: Look over there!

Sure enough, a ridiculously large magnifying glass is in the corner, showing the castle.

Yoshi: Whatever gets us out of here faster, I suppose.

And so the heroes travel forth back through the glass and into the castle, where more of their adventures await them...

...

...  
"Grargh..."

Bowser was pacing about his room once more. He couldn't be bothered with anything anymore. True, he wanted the princess, and now he had her. True, he wanted the castle, and he had that too. True, he wanted to gain the power of the Power Stars, and while he hadn't obtained all of them, he did have enough in his possession to lock down the doors. Looking back into his claw, he examined the Power Star he held in his hand.

It wasn't enough.

That's why he decided to pick up a partner of sorts this time. Or at least, that's what he thought he was doing. And now what? Now he was just another cog in the operative machine that was someone else's plan! They had already done everything Bowser needed, and now this...magical...person...thing...well, whoever he is, he thinks he's some big shot now!

"Grargh, what does he even want with me now? Sure, we don't have the Power Stars, but what's the point of grabbing them from guys like Mario?" Bowser growled to himself. He rested his paws on a nearby table, upon which was his fairly basic plan.

Get the princess, take the castle, steal some Power Stars, stop Mario, something else, and then profit!

How hard could that be?

And then there were other technicalities now. The Gauntlet, for instance, a prized heirloom he had sought for a long time and only recently discovered that it may be within the worlds at the castle. And then there were his "coworkers", a maniacal mechanist psychopath and an undead magical chicken. As if he didn't have enough to deal with on his own!

Suddenly, a knock at the door. "Just a minute," Bowser called out, sweeping the table clear of his plan, though he might as well have just crumpled it up and tossed it into the trash.

"Come in!" Bowser growled. The door opened, and Bowser saw a rather interesting sight.

"L-ike it? It's my latest creation! I've already requested he be sent out on the next mission."

Bowser grumbled a little bit. "Yeah, it's nice," he said.

"Yes, I do love my machines! I thought I'd show you your replacement before he succeeds in his mission."

"My...my WHAT?"

"Oh, you didn't know? Master's grown weary of you, it seems, so he's decided to leave me in charge of seeking out a replacement, what with Cackletta having ascended into the afterlife and Hokempokemweh skipping out in favor of eternal slumber. Just can't find any good dead folks nowadays, can we?"

"Why you little-"

"Now now, don't get your scales in a bind just yet. I'm only speaking the truth! Or at least, what will be the truth should my friend here succeed in his mission. I hope that you'll be able to pack your things by the time he's done?"

And with that, a sinister chuckle and the closing of the door left Bowser in total silence, all alone. Alone, as always...

(Nov 7, 2011-Feb 19, 2012)

* * *

Thanks to all you guys for reading and sticking with this story for so long! I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter as well once it comes out! Only a few worlds left to go! Also don't forget to submit questions for the summary chapter!


	19. Ch 18: The TickTockClock Chapter

Let the story continue onwards into a weirdness that knows no bounds!

* * *

**Chapter 18: Let's Do the Hickory Dickory Time Warp Again**

Waluigi: It's a tough cookie world for a tough cookie group of traveling adventurers like the one I'm in. We find ourselves trapped in a riddle wrapped up in an enigma and with a frilly little bow of mystery on top, shoved under the tree to await the day we're opened up and released from our bonds. But here in this world, there is no such escape. When time is your enemy, there is no escape.  
Yoshi: Who are you talking to?  
Waluigi: It all started not long after we came back from Tiny-Huge Island. We had already leapt through a giant magnifying glass and arrived out in the courtyard of Peach's Castle...

After returning to the castle, we traversed up those lonely steps and finally arrived at the top again, just like we hoped we'd reach the very top of this castle and take care of all the enemies that had taken over. Grambi, how many enemies have taken over the castle? First Bowser, then Mr. L, then Krillen - there seemed to be no end in sight to all the madness this castle could hold! Heck, even with all of what happened in the last couple of chapters-

Aroramage: EH-HEM!

...right, sorry. Like I was saying, we hit found another staircase up which we hadn't yet climbed.

CC: Hey guys, there's a staircase here that we haven't climbed yet!  
Mario: We're that much closer to reaching the end of all of this.  
Luigi: And freeing the princess and the castle!  
Yoshi: And then everything can go back to normal.

Little did we know how wrong we were...for the moment.

And so up these new stairs we climbed and into the new area. It was weird, actually. In front of us was a clock whose hands were just going in all sorts of crazy directions just like a crazy box leaping abound in an arid wasteland. Man I hated that thing. As we went further into the room, we found each on our left and right two small light-filled holes and two staircases, each heading up to one last door. It had a giant Star on it, kinda like the ones leading to the Dark World and Dire Dire Docks. Which meant we'd probably need more Power Stars to open it. But there just was no telling-

Yoshi: So can we open this door?  
Mario: Apparently not. Bowser must've reinforced the door knowing we were coming. And after our last couple of encounters, I can't blame him.

Well, neither could I. One thing was for sure, though: we weren't getting through that door without more Power Stars.

Waluigi: Well one thing's for sure, we're not getting through that door without more Power Stars!

Hey! I just said that!

CC: So what do we do?  
Birdo: Some clock this is.

Turning over to our allegedly female compatriot, we found her looking up at the old grandfather clock, an unmarried and bitter old mechanism that surprisingly didn't yell at us to get off its lawn. It may have helped that it didn't have a lawn to yell us off of.

Birdo: This thing's going way too fast.

Indeed, the mysterious time-keeping device we now stood in front of had its hands spinning round quickly like a pro cup stacker stacking cups...professionally!

Mario: I thought there was supposed to be a repairman on this.  
Luigi: I think I heard something along the lines of the repairman getting caught up with killing super-powered humans in order to take their powers for himself.  
Mario: Huh. How strange.  
Birdo: Can we fix it?  
Gary: I think the clock's supposed to work like that.  
Mario: That kinda makes sense.  
Yoshi: So is it a world entrance?  
Luigi: I think so.  
Waluigi: Well what are we waiting for? Let's get a move-on!

And as I bravely announced our daring and epic entry into the portal of possibly lethal doom, we all gathered up and made our daring and epic entry into the portal of possibly lethal doom. Little did we know what would await us on the other side.

We landed in a strange dystopian futuristic world of ancient medieval architecture, steampunk clocks, and digital analog watches. Which is to say, we found ourselves in Tick-Tock Clock, a world run entirely on clockwork. Not to say that it ran like clockwork, but it was probably the most literal example of it.

Yoshi: What a strange place.  
Luigi: That's Tick-Tock Clock for ya. Everything here is run entirely on clockwork. Not to say that it runs like clockwork, but it's probably the most literal example of it.  
Waluigi: Hmm, I'll remember that later...  
Yoshi: Why?  
Waluigi: I dunno, intuition?  
Yoshi: You? Intuition? Remember? Later? That?  
Waluigi: Seriously, what's wrong with me using my brain?  
CC: With all due respect, it's probably the fact that you rarely use your brain that ends us in trouble somehow.  
Waluigi: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-luigi? Don't be silly! Name one time I ever caused anything bad to happen cause of my supposed "stupidity"!  
Yoshi: Well, there was the time we found you in Bob-omb Battlefield.  
Waluigi: Ehh, not that big of a deal.  
Yoshi: And then there was Whomp's Fortress where we charged in recklessly.  
Waluigi: Correction, YOU charged in recklessly, we followed suit!  
Yoshi: And then there was that one time where you dressed up as a-  
Waluigi: Whooooooa, hahaha, alright, nobody needs to know about that.  
Luigi: Regardless, we need to be carefully around here. Everything goes to a certain rhythm, so we gotta count the beats, so to sp-

At that moment, a loud THUMP interrupted Luigi as it echoed throughout the towering structure of the world we dwelled in. The ground beneath our feet even began trembling and what-not. It was really something, but what's more is that everything else began to move that much faster. The pendulums, the tickings, the masses of robots - oh, did I forget to mention the robots? Yeah, there were robots.

Lots and LOTS of robots.

Waluigi: What's with all the robots?  
Mario: That...is a good question.

Yes, the robots were everywhere, like some kind of robotic invasion. It was strange, too, as they were comprised of gears and clock hands and other time-related pieces and stuff. They were kind of a mess, honestly, a mess that we'd have to clean up sooner or later.

Mario: You don't think he's taken over, do you?  
Yoshi: I hope not.  
Luigi: Let's just be careful and-  
Wario: Whoa whoa whoa, why should we be careful? This place is crawling with baddies! I say we go charging through and crush every single one of these loser robots!  
Gary: Well, the problem with that is we don't know if they're good or ev-

At that moment, a shimmering beam of death light fired off in our direction! Fortunately, we were swift and dodgy and had our Field Evasiveness boosted by quite a bit. And soon, like a hive of insects, the robots glared angrily at us with their red eyes of evil and swarmed us.

Gary:...or they could be evil, that works too.

We were outnumbered a good high improbable number to one. Surely there'd be no escape for us this time, no way we'd be able to get out of this sticky situation.

Luigi: Guys, we need a plan.  
Wario: Charge through them and blow them to pieces.  
Luigi: Preferably one that isn't a suicidal charge.  
Wario: I didn't say that!  
CC: It may just be a matter of reducing their numbers slowly. With any luck, we'll get out of this alive!  
Yoshi: Works for me.  
Wario: Blegh, I guess I can still blast em.

MOB BATTLE START!

All By Ourselves  
Yoshi: 140 HP, 130 SP  
CC: 130 HP, 130 SP  
Waluigi: 135 HP, 110 SP  
DK: 150 HP, 130 SP  
Mario: 135 HP, 135 SP  
Lucky: 125, 140 SP  
Gary: 120 HP, 140 SP  
Luigi: 145 HP, 130 SP  
Ghoulman: 155 HP, 120 SP  
Birdo: 135 HP, 125 SP  
Wario: 135 HP, 125 SP

Machine Against the Rage  
Clockbot 1: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 2: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 3: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 4: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 5: 50 HP, 0 SP

Clockbots Left: 120

Yoshi: Alright, time to-  
Aroramage: HOLD IT!  
Waluigi: WAHHHHH-luigi! This is my narration! What are you doing here?  
Aroramage: Oh, I'm just here to ramp up the difficulty a little bit.  
Waluigi: Difficulty? But why?  
Aroramage: Why, just to make things work out! For instance, your powers now cost you more SP, just to be fair. Besides, you always have so much leftover.  
Yoshi: You're just doing this now?  
Aroramage: And that's another thing! Unless you're going for a normal attack, I'm making ALL your attacks pay a certain amount of SP.  
Yoshi: MY FREE ATTACKS!  
Aroramage: Yep. As for those Clockbots...well, they oughta be more difficult anyway. You're nearing the end, guys! Don't give up on yourselves just yet!

...okay, so there was some authorial interference along the way.

Aroramage: Hey!

Yoshi uses the Elemental Gauntlet for 7 SP! He charges it with Fiery Chaos and incinerates a Clockbot for 12 dge! CC uses Double Slash for 4 SP, slashing at two Clockbots for 8 dge apiece! Waluigi tosses a Bob-omb for 4 SP! The Bob-omb explodes, inflicting 15 dge, 12 dge, and 7 dge to three Clockbots! Donkey Kong punches a Clockbot for 17 dge! The first Clockbot is defeated! Mario throws a Fireball for 5 SP! He chucks it at a Clockbot for 7 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He uses the 4-Leaf Clover, boosting the heroes' luck! Gary uses Burner Breath for 8 SP! He spews out flames at the Clockbots, inflicting 8, 7, and 4 dge! Luigi unleashes the Flame Tornado for 8 SP! He sets his hands ablaze and twirls about, knocking into three Clockbots for 14 dge apiece! Ghoulman uses Ghost Bomber for 6 SP! He summons three Pink Boos and tosses them at the Clockbots for 11 dge apiece! Another Clockbot is destroyed! Birdo uses Egg Cannon for 8 SP! She sucks in air and fires off an egg at a Clockbot for 18 dge! Another Clockbot is destroyed! Wario tosses a Bob-omb for 4 SP! He hits the Clockbots for 17, 14, and 9 dge!

Yoshi: Good grief, this IS harder!  
Mario: We've only made a small dent in these guys!  
Gary: Watch out, they're coming for us!

The Clockbots grind their gears and charge at the heroes! The heroes are trampled and take 54 dge! Ghoulman avoids the damage by becoming transparent!

All By Ourselves  
Yoshi: 86 HP, 123 SP  
CC: 76 HP, 126 SP  
Waluigi: 81 HP, 106 SP  
DK: 96 HP, 130 SP  
Mario: 81 HP, 130 SP  
Lucky: 71, 133 SP  
Gary: 66 HP, 132 SP  
Luigi: 91 HP, 122 SP  
Ghoulman: 155 HP, 114 SP  
Birdo: 81 HP, 117 SP  
Wario: 81 HP, 121 SP

Machine Against the Rage  
Clockbot 4: 4 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 5: 36 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 6: 41 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 7: 50 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 8: 50 HP, 0 SP

Clockbots Left: 117

Yoshi: Good grief, who turned on Hard Mode?  
Lucky: We'll have to be smarter in our tactics if we wanna get past these guys and reach the top.  
Waluigi: My thoughts exactly!  
Aroramage: Oh don't worry, only 117 Clockbots left, you'll definitely make it.

SHUT UP MAGE, IT'S MY NARRATION

Yoshi unleashes the Elemental Fury's Sword, paying 16 SP! He slashes at the Clockbots, inflicting 33, 27, 24, 18, and 9 dge! Another Clockbot is defeated! CC uses Crimson Fury for 10 SP! He slashes down upon the Clockbots for 23 dge each! Two more Clockbots are defeated! Waluigi tosses a Sticky Bob-omb for 5 SP into the crowd of Clockbots! It explodes, inflicting 17, 11, and 4 dge! DK pulls out a Banana Grove for 7 SP! The heroes munch on the bananas and recover 40 HP! Mario uses Fire Punch for 7 SP! He sets his fist ablaze and punches a Clockbot for 13 dge! Another Clockbot is destroyed! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He brings out the Magic Mirror charm to form a barrier around the heroes! Gary uses Lightning Roar for 9 SP! He shoots lightning out of his mouth at the Clockbots, hitting them for a CONDUCTIVE 24 dge! Two more Clockbots are destroyed!

Luigi: Conductive...that's it!

Luigi uses Lightning Strike for 10 SP! He charges up with electricity and rains lightning down on the Clockbots for CONDUCTIVE 34 dge! Three more Clockbots are defeated! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 8 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, and fires them at the Clockbots for 13 dge per round! Another Clockbot is defeated! Birdo uses 3 SP and the Power Gauntlet to unleash a Super Punch on a Clockbot, knocking it into the others! The Clockbots clang together for 14, 7, 3, 1, and 1 dge! Another Clockbot is defeated! Wario Chomps down on a Clockbot for 4 SP! The Clockbot takes 32 dge and short-circuits, self-destructing and hitting another for 8 dge! Another Clockbot is defeated!

Yoshi: Get ready, here they come!

The Clockbots charge again but are intercepted by the barrier! Several ram into each other, inflicting 3 dge to each other! The barrier holds!

All By Ourselves (barrier protection!)  
Yoshi: 126 HP, 107 SP  
CC: 116 HP, 116 SP  
Waluigi: 121 HP, 101 SP  
DK: 136 HP, 123 SP  
Mario: 121 HP, 123 SP  
Lucky: 111, 126 SP  
Gary: 106 HP, 123 SP  
Luigi: 131 HP, 112 SP  
Ghoulman: 155 HP, 106 SP  
Birdo: 121 HP, 114 SP  
Wario: 121 HP, 117 SP

Machine Against the Rage  
Clockbot 16: 36 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 17: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 18: 46 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 19: 47 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 20: 47 HP, 0 SP

Clockbots Left: 105

Lucky: This barrier oughta hold out for long enough, I'm sure! Let's keep taking them down!

Yoshi unleashes the Elemental Fury's Sword for 16 SP! He slashes through the Clockbots for 34, 27, 23, 17, and 10 dge! CC teams up with Mario to perform the Blazing Driller for 11 SP! CC ignites his blade, and Mario summons four fireballs! CC jumps and dives down onto the Clockbot for 17 dge, destroying it! Mario tosses a fireball at CC and the next Clockbot hitting the Clockbot for 5 dge! CC jumps up again and hits the next Clockbot for 15 dge, destroying it! The duo repeat this process, inflicting 5+13+4+11 dge to the next Clockbot, destroying it! The duo repeat the process for 3+10 dge to the next Clockbot!

Wario: Let's do it, bro!  
Waluigi: Wah ha ha ha!

Waluigi and Wario team up and pay 14 SP for Big Bang Bomber Storm! They pile up a huge number of Bob-ombs, making the Clockbots antsy! Wario starts tossing up Bob-ombs into the air! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket and jumps in the air, smacking down on the Bob-ombs towards the Clockbots! The Clockbots are hit for 18, 16, 14, 11, 9, 7, 4, and 2 dge! Two more Clockbots were defeated! DK punches a Clockbot for 8 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He uses the Shooting Star charm to boost the heroes' SP by 10! Gary uses the Aqua Dragon spell for 14 SP! He summons forth a giant aqua dragon that attacks the Clockbots! The Clockbots take 10 dge! Luigi summons a Doppleganger for 9 SP! The Doppleganger strikes at two Clockbots, destroying them both with 19 dge! Ghoulman uses Ghost Blade for 7 SP! He summons 3 Pink Boos, chews them up, then brings out a ghoulish sword, which he uses to slash at the Clockbots for 8+7 dge! Birdo sucks up a Clockbot for 8 SP! She lays it in an egg and then punches the egg at another Clockbot! The Clockbots take 28 dge each, destroying them both!

The Clockbots charge at the heroes, only to hit the barrier and hit themselves for 5 damage each!

All By Ourselves (barrier protection!)  
Yoshi: 126 HP, 101 SP  
CC: 116 HP, 115 SP  
Waluigi: 121 HP, 97 SP  
DK: 136 HP, 133 SP  
Mario: 121 HP, 122 SP  
Lucky: 111, 129 SP  
Gary: 106 HP, 133 SP  
Luigi: 131 HP, 113 SP  
Ghoulman: 155 HP, 116 SP  
Birdo: 121 HP, 124 SP  
Wario: 121 HP, 113 SP

Machine Against the Rage  
Clockbot 26: 45 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 27: 45 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 28: 45 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 29: 45 HP, 0 SP  
Clockbot 30: 45 HP, 0 SP

Clockbots Left: 95

Yoshi: There's just so many!  
Mario: We may need a miracle to take em all down.

At that moment, something happened that none of us could have expected! As the Clockbot army swarmed around us again, suddenly they stopped.

Yoshi: The Clockbots...they've stopped.  
?: OH HO HO! PREPARE FOR YOUR DOOM!

Suddenly, some kind of makeshift half-man half-robot all-cyborg being appeared, its half-man part wielding a magnificent hammer, its half-robot part composed of four mechanical legs and a holding pod of sorts.

?: NOW FACE THE WRATH OF THE CLOCKMAKER!

...

Heroes:...  
Readers:...  
Clockbots:...  
Clockmaker: What? What's with everyone all of a sudden?  
Yoshi: Um, well, this is gonna seem really awkward and all, but-  
Waluigi: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?  
Clockmaker: *le gasp-ah!* You don't know of me?  
Mario: Should we have?  
Clockmaker: I'm the one who makes all the clocks in the world! Every grandfather, every wristwatch, every pendulum, every gear, every hand - all of them are my creations! Without my talents, we would be leaving in a world without clocks, a world without time itself!  
Yoshi: Debatable on that last note.  
Clockmaker: You think I don't know why you're here? Why you've come to my sacred Tick Tock Clock, the ultimate and most beautiful of all my clock creations?  
Gary: Your greatest creation is a giant clock?  
Clockmaker: _Trottel! _This clock is not just "a giant clock" but the ultimate of all clocks!  
Mario: And why is-

At that moment, a sudden distortion in time changed everyone's speed!

Mario: -thatevenimportant?Waitwhat'sgoingon?Howcomemyvoiceisallhigh-pitchedandsquealy?  
Clockmaker: Iseeyou'vegrownacquaintedwithmyclock'spowers!Notonlydoesittelltime,itcontrolsit!  
Yoshi: That'sprettyfancy,butIdon'tliketalkingsofast.  
Clockmaker: Nowmylittlemunchkins,!

BATTLE PART 2 START!

All By Ourselves (barrier protection!)  
Yoshi: 126 HP, 107 SP  
CC: 116 HP, 116 SP  
Waluigi: 121 HP, 101 SP  
DK: 136 HP, 123 SP  
Mario: 121 HP, 123 SP  
Lucky: 111, 126 SP  
Gary: 106 HP, 123 SP  
Luigi: 131 HP, 112 SP  
Ghoulman: 155 HP, 106 SP  
Birdo: 121 HP, 114 SP  
Wario: 121 HP, 117 SP

Clockbot Leader  
Clockmaker: 400 HP, 200 SP

Clockbots Available: 100

Time slows down to normal! Yoshi charges the Elemental Fury's Sword for 16 SP and slashes at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker swings his arm around and creates a whirlwind vortex, defending himself with Clockbots! 7 Clockbots are destroyed! CC and DK team-up for an attack!

CC: I'll vanquish thee verily!  
DK: Bring it on!

CC and DK use 12 SP for Burn-Buster Blaster! DK summons a barrel while CC sets his blades ablaze! CC jumps into the barrel as DK charges it up to maximum power! The Clockmaker summons a whirlwind vortex and defends himself with Clockbots! DK fires off CC at the enemy, creating a flaming twister! 18 Clockbots are destroyed! Waluigi uses 5 SP to bring out his tennis racket! He attempts to thwack the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker triggers his defense and blocks the attacks with Clockbots! 4 more Clockbots are destroyed!

Yoshi: What in the world is going on?  
DK: It's like he's got some kind of powerful triggering defensive thingamababim that's stopping our attacks!  
Yoshi: Where's that wind even coming from?  
Clockmaker: What's wrong? Can't face the force of my fearsome flurry?  
Yoshi: And now he's alliterate. Great.

Mario uses 5 SP and chucks a Fireball at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker blocks the attack with a Clockbot, which gets destroyed! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He uses the Horseshoe charm to double the heroes' speed!

Clockmaker: You think that increasing your speed will help you here? You're more foolish than I thought!

Gary uses the Aqua Dragon to attack the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker defends himself with his Clockbots! 8 Clockbots are destroyed! Gary uses the Aqua Dragon to attack the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker defends himself with his Clockbots! 7 Clockbots are destroyed! The Aqua Dragon falls apart! Luigi uses Thunder Punch for 7 SP! He charges his fist with electricity and swings at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker blocks the attack with 2 Clockbots! Luigi uses Thunder Punch for 7 SP! He charges his fist with electricity and swings at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker blocks the attack with a Clockbot! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 8 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, and spits them out at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker guards with his Clockbots! 6 Clockbots are destroyed! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 8 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, and spits them out at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker guards with his Clockbots! 4 Clockbots are destroyed! Birdo uses a Super Punch and throws a mighty punch at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker guards with his Clockbots! 5 Clockbots are destroyed! Birdo uses a Super Punch and throws a mighty punch at the Clockmaker! The Clockmaker guards with his Clockbots! 7 Clockbots are destroyed! Wario uses Corkscrew for 7 SP! He rushes up and jump-spins against the Clockmaker! But the Clockmaker blocks it with a couple of Clockbots, destroying them! Wario uses Corkscrew for 7 SP! He rushes up and jump-spins against the Clockmaker! But the Clockmaker blocks it with two more Clockbots, destroying them!

Clockmaker: Seems it's time for you to slow down!

The Clockmaker uses a magical incantation for 25 SP! He surrounds the area with a magic sphere! Suddenly time seems to slow down inside!

Clockmaker: (slow-mo talk) Now your speed means nothing!  
Yoshi: Oh geez, this is going to get annoying.  
Waluigi: Oblong opuses observe ocular occurrences originating obliquely.  
Yoshi: What?  
Waluigi: It sounds so weird now!  
Yoshi: And it didn't before?

The Clockbots charge forward in dramatic slow-motion at the heroes!

Waluigi: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooo!

The Clockbots run into the barrier, causing 7 to self-destruct!

Waluigi: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
Yoshi: Stop that.

All By Ourselves (barrier protection!)  
Yoshi: 126 HP, 91 SP  
CC: 116 HP, 104 SP  
Waluigi: 121 HP, 96 SP  
DK: 136 HP, 111 SP  
Mario: 121 HP, 118 SP  
Lucky: 111, 119 SP  
Gary: 106 HP, 123 SP  
Luigi: 131 HP, 98 SP  
Ghoulman: 155 HP, 90 SP  
Birdo: 121 HP, 114 SP  
Wario: 121 HP, 103 SP

Clockbot Leader  
Clockmaker: 400 HP, 175 SP

Clockbots Available: 19

Yoshi deactivates Elemental Fury's Sword and charges the gauntlet with Fiery Chaos for 7 SP! He charges an orb of energy and fires it off at the Clockmaker, who blocks the attack with 3 Clockbots!

Yoshi: I knew it.  
CC: What's up?  
Yoshi: It's that gauntlet of his.  
Clockmaker: I see you're not the only one who's noticed then. I can tell you wield the gauntlet's power as well!  
DK: So in other words, that wind from before...  
Clockmaker: Yes, behold the power of my gauntlet, the Gauntlet of Howling Desire!

The Clockmaker unleashes a whirlwind, sucking up all the other Clockbots into it and causing them to break apart against all manner of machinery! Time reverts to normal!

Clockmaker:...well that was rather silly of me.  
Yoshi: And now you're going down!  
Clockmaker: You plan on defeating me and taking away my Gauntlet as well? We'll see about that!

CC teams up with DK, Ghoulman, and Birdo! They each spend 18 SP on the Cannonball Blitz! DK summons up a barrel as Ghoulman swallows CC! Birdo then swallows Ghoulman and hops into the barrel! DK fires the barrel at the Clockmaker, hitting him for 38 dge! Birdo lays an egg and tosses it at the Clockmaker, hitting him for 27 dge! Ghoulman hatches from the egg and spits CC into the air, who then drills into the Clockmaker with his blades for 21 x4 dge!

Clockmaker: Alright, I admit, that was painful!

Waluigi uses Pop Culture Bomb!

THE POP CULTURE REFERENCE IS:

PHOENIX WRIGHT: ACE ATTORNEY

Suddenly, Phoenix Wright appears on the field.

PW: Eh? What am I doing here? Last thing I remember, I was in a movie fighting off von Karma. What's going on?

OBJECTION!

Suddenly, Manfred von Karma appears as well!

MvK: I'm not done with you yet, Wright. You think you can just spontaneously disappear in the middle of a trial? You won't escape me, not even here!

HOLD IT!

Yoshi: Didn't we already have a Phoenix Wright reference?  
Judge: Indeed, this story has already had a Phoenix Wright reference.  
MvK: That is of little consequence now. Regardless of prior references, whoever summoned us here now...is GUILTY!

HOLD IT!

PW: This was a decision made outside the context of the story, so there's no evidence that the accused, whoever it may be, had anything to do with our sudden appearance.

OBJECTION!

MvK: The very fact that we are even here is proof enough. I demand the judge make a ruling on this matter immediately.  
Judge: Oh, uh, well...seeing as I just randomly appeared too, I find this to be very discombobulating.  
PW: W-w-wait! Can't we reason this out like civilized gentlemen?  
MvK:...  
Judge:...  
Heroes:...  
Clockmaker:...  
Everyone else:...  
PW: I'll take that as a "no".  
MvK: Judge, your ruling.  
Judge: Well, it is unorthodox, and we are in another domain, but I suppose I have no choice. I find the defendant...

HOLD IT!

Suddenly and out of nowhere, The Red Chao appears!

Yoshi:...what?  
TRC: I have appeared to say that it was me who made the reference!  
MvK: REACTION SHOT!  
Judge: REACTION SHOT!  
PW: REACTION SHOT!  
Heroes:...  
TRC: So yeah, the defendant or whatever's innocent, Immadisappearnow byeeee!

And then The Red Chao disappeared!

Everyone:...  
Judge: Well with that in mind, I've no choice. I find the defendant:

_**NOT GUILTY**_

A crowd appears and cheers enthusiastically, causing explosions of confetti to appear out of nowhere and hit the Clockmaker for 47 dge! Waluigi loses 4 SP for the Bomb!

PW: Well then, I guess it's time to leave then...right?  
MvK: Well, I'm going to be stuck in jail once I go back, soooooooo SO LONG, MR. WRIGHT!

Manfred von Karma then laughs and runs off, only to fall off a nearby ledge and be transported back to jail anyway!

PW: *teardrop* Guess he couldn't really deal with the pressure.  
Judge: Or the discombobulating!  
PW:...what?

And then Phoenix Wright and the Judge disappeared!

Yoshi:...what just happened?  
Waluigi: My Pop Culture Bomb!  
Yoshi:...what just happened?

Mario throws a Fireball at the Clockmaker for 5 SP! The Clockmaker takes 17 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He uses the Heart Charm, giving the heroes regeneration! Gary inflates himself for 8 SP! Luigi uses Lightning Strike for 10 SP! He charges up with electricity and rains down lightning on the Clockmaker for 38 dge! Wario uses Grab-Pot for 11 SP! He reaches into Luigi's Bag-o-Power-Ups!

Wario: Time for my power-up!

He pulls out a Garlic Pot! Ingesting it, he transforms into Bull Wario! He gets a power boost and a horned helmet! He charges down the Clockmaker and rams him for 28 dge!

The Clockmaker uses the Gauntlet of Howling Desire to blow a swirling gust of wind at the heroes! The wind bypasses the protective barrier and hits the heroes for 23 dge each! The barrier fades away!

All By Ourselves (regeneration!)  
Yoshi: 103 HP, 84 SP  
CC: 93 HP, 86 SP  
Waluigi: 98 HP, 92 SP  
DK: 113 HP, 93 SP  
Mario: 98 HP, 113 SP  
Lucky: 88, 112 SP  
Gary: 83 HP, 115 SP  
Luigi: 103 HP, 88 SP  
Ghoulman: 127 HP, 72 SP  
Birdo: 98 HP, 96 SP  
Wario: 98 HP, 92 SP

Clockbot Leader  
Clockmaker: 121 HP, 175 SP

Yoshi uses-

Yoshi: Wait a minute! Why are we even fighting?  
Clockmaker: Isn't it obvious?  
Heroes:...  
CC: Actually, now that you mention it...  
Clockmaker: Wait, you...don't know why we're fighting?  
Luigi: Not really.  
Waluigi: Well, we got attacked by the Clockbots, and then you came along, and now we're fighting.  
Clockmaker: But my Clockbots attack intruders! So clearly you all must be intruders!  
Yoshi:...I guess?  
Clockmaker: Of course, there must be a reason behind your intruding on my territory! And there's only two things I can even think of that are worthy of intruding upon!  
Yoshi: The gauntlet and a set of Power Stars?  
Clockmaker: AH-HA! So you ARE intruding!  
Gary: Well, by technical definition, yes, but-  
Clockmaker: And you HAVE come to take my gauntlet and Power Stars?  
Lucky: Technically yes, we've come for the Power Stars...  
Yoshi:...the gauntlet kinda, but not really a big-  
Clockmaker: So not only are you intruding upon my territory, but you're also here to steal MY belongings, MY possessions, and MY stuff!  
Yoshi: Look, if we can just have a minute of explanation-  
Clockmaker: You've had a lot of minutes to explain!  
Waluigi: Well not while we're fighting!  
Mario: Listen, you have to understand, we're doing this in order to save the world from some very nasty fellows! We're talking diabolical plots and kidnapped princesses!  
Clockmaker: And why should I help you intruders? You've broken most of my Clockbots, admitted to your misdeeds - you're slowly wrecking my sanity! Why should I help you?

It was at that moment that it really hit us in the face: we were not the heroes in this matter at all. So we did what we had to do and placed our weapons on the ground.

Yoshi: We're sorry, but you have to believe us when we say we're telling the truth.  
CC: We only came here to seek the Power Stars that we may protect them.  
Waluigi: We've come across a lot of troubles lately as far as retrieving the Stars goes...  
DK: And a lot of bad guys!  
Mario: I'm sure you realize a lot of people want the Power Stars, being that you've held onto the ones here.  
Lucky: But even under your protection, they aren't completely safe.  
Gary: We've been looking across many worlds for the Power Stars so that we could keep them out of the wrong hands.  
Luigi: And in doing so, we tend to disrupt and intrude upon worlds that we don't normally stop and consider belong to the inhabitants.  
Ghoulman: IT'S. MESSED. UP!  
Birdo: And we're sorry that we forgot our place here.  
Wario: Can you just give us the Power Stars so we can get outta here?  
Yoshi: Wario!  
Wario: What? I'm more antihero if anything, I don't do "hero" stuff.  
Clockmaker: Your words...they are so true...and they ring of purity...well, for the most part.  
Wario: I DON'T DO HERO STUFF!  
Clockmaker: That impromptu speech rang of a sweeter note than many things I've heard in recent days...perhaps I should let you have the Power Stars...but on the other hand, you could be the very felons you claim to be against!  
Yoshi: Wouldn't we have already taken them from you in that case?  
Clockmaker: A fair point, certainly. But perhaps a better test of character is needed! I'll give you your chance for the Power Stars. I'll even throw in the Gauntlet for good measure! BUT! There is one challenge you must complete!  
Yoshi: What is it?  
Clockmaker: Follow me, then, if you dare.

The Clockmaker then turned and began walking down this pathway behind him, so we went ahead and followed him. Eventually, he led us to a cozy lounge. It was a pretty nice lounge, filled with a bunch of comfy couches and stuff. Lots of books on bookshelves, old lamps, and tons of clock gears of varying shapes and sizes. Adorned everywhere within the furniture and the walls and even the floors were various gears. The Clockmaker led us to some very comfy chairs, kinda nice really.

Clockmaker: Alright, I told you I had a challenge for you, and I have a challenge for you here!  
Waluigi: If it's kick back and relax, I'm all for it!  
Clockmaker: Sadly no.  
Waluigi: Awwww...  
Clockmaker: I have something more...thoughtful, in mind. In my head, I have a riddle of sorts. The riddle is unique in that in can have two correct answers. However, the outcome of such answers is what is the determining factor. And just to make sure you folks won't just answer the question willy-nilly...

The Clockmaker pulled a lever, and then suddenly we were all strapped into helmets and shackles that kept us bound to our chairs!

Clockmaker: I've now attached lie detectors upon your heads! So if you're a prone liar, the helmet will read your true intentions and send a message to the chair, and you will fry where you sit. Honesty is a virtue among all reasoning beings, so I just suggest complete honesty in your answers. And if you don't have an answer to my riddle within five minutes, I'll just electrocute all of you! Are you ready then?  
Yoshi: Not really.  
Clockmaker: Then here's the riddle!

"A leader of a nation wishes to rule with absolute authority. To find the secret to ruling absolutely, he travels into a cave where a wise man resides. The wise man showed the leader two orbs and said, 'One orb will give you respect from others, absolute respect that they will listen and obey without question. The other orb works similarly, only people will fear you. You may only take one orb with you, and whichever orb you leave behind, I will destroy. Choose wisely.'

Which orb should the leader choose?"

_**DO YOU WANNA ANSWER THE RIDDLE? WELL THINK OF AN ANSWER BEFORE THE SECTION BELOW! OR SPOIL YOURSELF, WHATEVER**_

Yoshi: Which orb should the leader choose...  
Wario: Oh come on, it's obvious! People respond to fear! He should take the fear orb!  
CC: Now wait a moment, fear is hardly the way to rule a nation. One must treat their subjects fairly, and in turn they shall be given the respect they deserve. He should take the orb that lets subjects respect him!  
Waluigi: Can't we take em on a trial run?  
Mario: No, you only get one, and he destroys the orb you leave behind. We can't just take one and see how it works.  
Luigi: Well, we're all in agreement I'm sure that we shouldn't pick the orb of fear.  
Wario: I'm not! Make them fear us, fear us all!  
DK: I dunno, I think the respect orb is more appropriate.  
Birdo: I agree, the orb of respect is the good thing to do.  
Ghoulman: RESPECT. IS. BEST!  
Clockmaker: So you would then pick the orb of respect?  
Wario: No! Fear!  
CC: Oh hush, the answer is obvious. We should-  
Yoshi: Hang on a moment.  
Mario: What is it, Yoshi?  
Yoshi: I dunno what it is, but I feel like this is a trick question.  
Waluigi: Whaddya mean?  
Yoshi: Well, it's true that the two orbs each have differing effects, but this guy wants to be a leader of a nation, right?  
Lucky: Well, he's already leader of a nation, he just wants to rule with absolute authority.  
Yoshi: Right, absolute authority. There's an old phrase about absolute power though, right?  
Gary: Absolute power corrupts absolutely, as I recall.  
Yoshi: Yeah, so having complete control over the masses - whether or not that would be out of fear or respect - would corrupt the leader absolutely. He wouldn't really be in-control anymore, right?  
Wario: What're you saying?  
Luigi: Yes, what do you mean?  
Yoshi: What I'm trying to say is that if we want the leader to do the most heroic thing - and the best thing at that - then he shouldn't have to take either of the orbs.  
Mario: *ponders* You know, I think he's right. The answer to the riddle is too obvious if we were to limit ourselves to just the two options.  
Gary: A false dilemma!  
Lucky: Sorry?  
Gary: It's a logical conundrum in which a person is put into a situation where they appear to be forced between two options, usually ones that aren't appealing, when they need to realize that there are other options out there! Like taking neither of the orbs!  
Luigi: You know, as heroes, it would be the sort of thing to say "no" to. So we shouldn't have to take either of the orbs.  
Clockmaker: Time's just about up! Do you have an answer to my riddle?  
Mario: The answer is we don't take either of the orbs.  
Clockmaker: You don't take either of the orbs?  
Mario: Yes, that's the answer.  
Clockmaker: Are you sure?  
Mario: Yes.  
Clockmaker: Positive?  
Mario: Yes.  
Clockmaker: Is that your final answer?  
Mario: Yes.  
Clockmaker: Your final final answer?  
Mario: Yes.  
Clockmaker: Your absolutely positively final final-  
Waluigi: Oh for Gawd's sake!  
Wario: Get on with it!  
Gawd: SERIOUSLY!  
Clockmaker: Okay...well...the answer...to the riddle...that I asked you...just a few moments ago...or minutes depending on how you work...unless you're like me, in which time is rather irrele-  
Readers: GET ON WITH IT!  
Clockmaker: Well, yeah, you got the right answer.  
Heroes: Woo-hoo!  
Readers: *mixed reactions depending on if you got it right or not...or if you cheated, have a rock cake*  
Clockmaker: Impressive. You are truly the real deal when it comes to heroes. I believe you've earned my trust. Here, then, take these with you.

THE HEROES RECEIVED THE 7 POWER STARS OF TICK TOCK CLOCK WITHOUT MUCH FANFARE!

Clockmaker: And to you, brave and heroic Yoshi, take this with you as well.

YOSHI RECEIVED THE GAUNTLET OF HOWLING DESIRES, HOLY CRAP HIS GAUNTLET'S EVEN MORE OVERPOWERED THAN BEFORE!

Yoshi: It's not THAT overpowered...  
Clockmaker: Listen well, heroes, and heed this warning! As guardian of Tick-Tock Clock, I have been tasked with guarding those Power Stars from evil forces for many an era.  
Waluigi: I don't think ears are a big problem.  
Gary: E-ra, not ears.  
Clockmaker: The power of the cosmos is within each of those Stars, but I believe you'll find more to this story than just a power-hungry tyrant.  
Mario: Well, we kinda know someone else is behind the Power Stars and wants their power for stuff.  
Clockmaker: And do you know why he wants the Power Stars so badly? Do you know his face, his powers, his name?  
Wario: Not at all.  
Mario: Not really...  
Luigi: It's been a while.  
Clockmaker: Then I have to tell you, for the greater good, who it is exactly that you are dealing with.  
Yoshi: Wait, let me get this straight. You're going to tell us who the mysterious antagonist behind all of this craziness is?  
Clockmaker: Yes.  
Yoshi: And you don't expect any immediate repercussions from such a monumental revelation?  
Clockmaker: Well, it's not like anybody's going to just come streaking out of nowhere and sta-

And just like that, STAB! The Clockmaker suddenly had a long metal claw sticking out of his chest.

Clockmaker:...huh...well, guess I shoulda seen that coming, being a Time Elemental.  
?: Oh, but then when would I have the time to kill you?

Attached to the claw, a leg, and attached to the leg, a body, and within the body, our familiar foe operated the mechanized contraption that we recognized as L-Force.

Mr. L: Anywho, Master said that there was just one loose end he wanted to have tied up, so I thought I'd go grab the ribbon while I was out and about.  
Luigi: Mr. L!  
Mr. L: Oh right, you heroes are here too, aren't you? But eh, I have little time to deal with you right now. Soon enough, though, I'll have another chat with you good-for-goodness-sake folks! Until then, heroes, keep those Stars safe!

And as suddenly as he had appeared, Mr. L disappeared again!

Wario: Hey, come back here!  
Waluigi: We'll clobber ya into next week!  
Clockmaker: Haha, that's funny cause I don't see him next week...

We turned our attention back to the dying Clockmaker.

Yoshi: We're sorry, we didn't know-  
Clockmaker: Oh please, it's not your fault. Villains will be villains, after all. And besides, he didn't kill me. I'm a Time Elemental! I'm basically immortal.  
Yoshi: So then why did he...well, stab you?  
Clockmaker: Any time a Time Elemental dies in the mortal sense, they are instead reincarnated and reborn as infants. As guardian of Tick-Tock Clock, I've been aware that someday I might have to be reborn, whether through natural causes or from that thing happening.  
Yoshi: Quick, you were telling us something before!  
Clockmaker: I'm afraid I no longer have the time to mention any of it. But I have enough time for this one last request.  
Yoshi: But you're a Time Elemental! Can't you stop time or something?  
Clockmaker: Here me out, heroes. Defend the Power Stars. Save the kingdom. The fate of the entire universe rests in your hands...

With that, the wound where the Clockmaker was stabbed through glittered in a cosmic design and blew out across the body of the Clockmaker, consuming his body as he finished his last words and then shrunken down in size to a small baby-sized Clockmaker.

Clockmaker: Goo?

We looked at the Clockmaker in some disbelief as the baby crawls away. Then we looked at each other.

Mario: Now what?  
Yoshi: Guess we'll just have to continue finding the rest of the Power Stars.  
Waluigi: Impromptu deus ex machina forcing a plot advance.  
Aroramage: Impromptu fourth wall breaking causing my fourth wall insurance to go up exponentially. STOP IT!

And so we left Tick-Tock Clock, our journey nearly complete, our progress nearly finished, the Stars nearly collected, and yet our enemies seeming to be even further from defeat than before...

(April 7, 2012 - July 30, 2012)


	20. Ch 19: Riding the Rainbow Out

**Chapter 19: Riding the Rainbow Out**

Ahhh, now without further narration from silly mustachioed heroes-

Waluigi: Hey!

...okay, you did a nice job in the last chapter.

Waluigi: Thank you!

But now it's time for the real narrator to get back to narrating the events of the story! For when we last left our heroes, they had just left the mystical time zone that is Tick-Tock Clock, after having just witnessed the Clockmaker, a mystical Time Elemental, get forcibly reincarnated by none other than Mr. L. Because who else would be devious and evil and cunning enough to think of such a twisted plan?

KR: Eh-hem.

...well, I guess any of the villains would. REGARDLESS, we now join our heroes in their newfound glory, and Yoshi with a nearly-completed Gauntlet of Elemental Fury!

Yoshi: Wait, what?

...oh shittake mushrooms...

Yoshi: What do you mean this thing's _nearly_ completed? This has four - count 'em, FOUR - elements: fire, water, earth, and wind!  
Waluigi: He's a fully evolved Avatar now!  
Yoshi: Waluigi.  
Waluigi: Yoshi!  
Yoshi: No.  
Waluigi: Kay.

Well, yes, you have four of the elements on the Gauntlet...

Yoshi: Is there some fifth element I haven't heard about?

...Gary! You're a literate and well-read MagiGoomba! You tell him!

Gary: But I've never even-

Suddenly, Gary has a book that explains everything in regards to the Gauntlet!

Gary: Oh...*browses book* Well, according to this conveniently-written passage, there are four known elements and a fifth rumored element that goes with the Gauntlet of Elemental Fury.  
Yoshi: Rumored. And if this story is what I think it is, that means, "Will show up eventually."

Oh hey, speaking of things that should show up eventually, how about that next world?

Waluigi: SHITTAKE MUSHROOMS (are delicious)! He's right! Quick, to the next world!  
Luigi: Well, it should just be in one of these cubby areas on the sides here.

Luigi indicates two windows of light that could be the world in question.

Waluigi: Let's do this, WALUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-IGIIIIIIIIIIII!

Waluigi leaps through one of the windows as the rest of the heroes simply stare after him.

Lucky: Oh my Gawd, he totally ran in there.  
Gawd: YEAH, I KNOW, OMNISCIENT BEING HERE, I COULD SEE THAT!  
Yoshi: Should we go after him?  
Mario: Actually, hold onto that thought.

The heroes hang around for a moment. Then suddenly Waluigi bursts through the door nearby, damp for some reason.

Waluigi: Not for some reason! I literally just got down falling out of the sky and landed in the pond outside!  
Luigi: Well, I guess that's not the way to go then.  
Waluigi: Gee, YA THINK?!  
Yoshi: Then it's settled. We go the other way!

The heroes gather together and head through the other window instead. Because, ya know, it's the only other window in that room.

And they arrive to the roar of many a flying creature. There were a variety of Ruff Puffs, Lakitus, Paratroopas, Pidgits riding magic carpets - all manner of flying enemies surrounding the large platform. The heroes looked around as the flying crowd around them cheered loudly.

Yoshi: What the...  
Waluigi: Wahaha, thank you very much! Thank you!  
Wario: Wahahahaha, we're the best!  
CC: What's going on?  
Mario: Do you two know what's going on?  
Waluigi: Nope!  
Wario: Who cares? We're getting cheered!  
?: Ahhhh, heroes, welcome!

The heroes are then approached by a flying Lakitu with a camera.

Yoshi: Wait a minute, aren't you the same Lakitu from the beginning and from the giant race way back in Lethal Lava Land?  
Waluigi: With its lethal lava and landness?  
Lakitu: Bada-bing-bada-boom! I'm the greatest Lakitu for commercializing and televising anything ever! I just happen to be great at competitions!  
Yoshi: Competitions?  
Lakitu: Yep! Like the one you're about to be apart of!  
Yoshi: Come again?  
Lakitu: You're participating in the Rainbow Ride Olympiad, right?  
Mario: Oh don't tell me-  
?: WELCOME TO THE HUNDREDTH RAINBOW RIDE OLYMPIAD!

At that moment, Giga Lakitu, accompanied by Lakithunder, floated over the field and hovered over the heroes.

GL: Well well well, look at what we have here. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the worst enemies to Koopa and Goomba genuses everywhere, the heroes, accompanied by none other than the Mario Bros.  
Gary: Technically, the term is "genera".  
GL: I don't need to hear such dribble from a traitor!  
Gary: I'm just saying.

At that moment, Lakithunder zapped at Gary's feet to get the point across that-

LT: You should shuddup!  
GL: So are you bozos ready to lose?  
Yoshi: Well of all things, I sure hope you're not involved.  
?: Oh, he's not _that_ big of a deal.  
Lucky: Oh you've gotta be kidding me...

At that moment, the light tapping of rooster feet on the arena floor came out as none other than Krillen von Roostenheimer-

KR: That's SIR Krillen von Roostenheimer now, thank you very much.  
Lucky: Sir?  
KR: I got knighted by the princess herself.  
Mario: Peach would never knight someone like you!  
Luigi: Neither would Daisy!  
KR: Well, I didn't say she did it willingly, but it counts for me!  
Yoshi: And just what are you doing here?  
KR: Why I'm running the Olympiad!  
Lucky: You're _running_ the Olympiad?!  
KR: Absolutely! Even I can't resist the delectable temptation of hosting a competition where the participants are forced to completely demolish each other for such trivial trinkets!  
Yoshi: Well that's certainly one way of looking at it...one extraordinarily demeaning way of looking at it...at least from the athletes' perspective.  
KR: I thought you might say that. Luckily, you happen to be the very athletes that these games were missing! And believe me, I've set up the games perfectly for your arrival.  
DK: Cool! I've always wanted to be in the games!  
Yoshi: Wait just a minute. We're just supposed to believe that your hosting a bunch of games with us as the main athletes. And then we just go along with it? What's the catch?  
KR: No catch! It's not like everything I have to do is meant to torture you and ruin your lives forever. No, I'm going to be a good sport about this entire thing. In fact, I'll make you a bargain even you can't refuse.  
Luigi: There's no way we'd even consider do-  
Mario: *stops Luigi* What kind of bargain?  
KR: Attaboy! It's simple: for each of my games you complete successfully, I'll fork over one of this world's Power Stars over to you. Think about it: that's eight Power Stars! And all you have to do is win through eight games. Whaddya say?

The heroes look at each other and realize just what's going to happen.

Waluigi: We're gonna be in an Olympic parody?  
KR: You're gonna be in an Olympic spin-off.  
Waluigi: Is that the same thing?  
KR: Take the deal, and you'll find out.

Krillen extends his wing. A slight pause, then Mario steps forward.

Mario: Deal.

He shakes Krillen's hand.

KR: Excellent.

At that moment, a deep rumbling echoes throughout the arena as Krillen begins to chuckle, a chuckle which rumbles into maniacal laughter as a mighty foe appears! Arising from the arena floor is-

Wario: What the what?! Terrormisu?!  
Terrormisu: That's right!  
KR: Hehehe, I suppose I should tell you that you'll be seeing a lot of familiar faces here in these games. After all, what fun would they be without a little challenge? Now for this first game, you must pick one person to come up and face Terrormisu!  
Mario: One person?  
Wario: Let me handle this! I put that witch back in her place once, and I'll do it again!  
Luigi: Well if you're going for it, take this.

Luigi gives Wario his Bag-o-Power-Ups!

Wario: Hehehe, thanks! Alright, WARIO TIME!  
Terrormisu: Oh m'lord, I've been meaning to get you since you so rudely trounced me. Once I've taken care of you, I'll go back to my original plan of sucking up all the delicious souls in the world!  
Wario: Lady, you need to learn manners. Before you even think about a meal that's never gonna come, you should focus on the appetizer in front of ya! And believe me, this one packs a punch!  
Yoshi: Since when does Wario do witty dialogue?  
Waluigi: Maybe he's picked up a thing or two.  
Yoshi: In the past three chapters?  
Aroramage: I'm right here, ya know.  
Yoshi: We know.  
Aroramage: Just making sure...  
KR: Let the Caged Boss Death Match begin!  
Wario:...wait, did he-

Suddenly, a cage is dropped on top of the two, trapping them inside!

KR: Did I forget to mention what this game would involve? My sincerest apologies. If you want, you can write up a complaint to our complaints department, headed by the lovely Terrormisu.  
Terrormisu: Oh ho ho, oh m'lord, you flatter me so!  
KR: Ahhh, it's good to be a knight.  
Wario: Don't hold your breath, turkey!  
KR: Rooster.  
Wario: Whatever! I'll be basting ya and cooking ya up like one soon enough!  
Yoshi: Wario, he's an undead magical rooster! I don't think the same cooking rules apply!  
Gary: Well actually-

Yoshi zips Gary's lips to prevent from talking about how to cook an undead magical rooster. Not that you'd wanna eat Krillen anyway, he tastes of evil. Bleck!

Count Bleck: That is my line!  
Wario: Whatever, let's get this over with!

Wario reaches into the Bag-o-Power-Ups and pulls out-

?: Goodness gracious, I never thought I'd be stuck in your grubby hands again!  
Wario: Oh pipe down and listen, I'mma need your help for this one.  
?: Help? What do you need-

The magic mustached wand Wario had just pulled out of the Bag-o-Power-Ups turned to see Terrormisu as she transformed into her demonified Princess-Peach-lookalike form and smiled. The wand in return - Goodstyle, you may recall his name - brought out a quirky grin before turning back to Wario.

Goodstyle: I suppose we're in a bit of a sticky wicket, eh?  
Wario: Whaddya say? Like old times?  
Goodstyle: I should hope not...  
Wario: Wah ha ha ha!

Wario holds up Goodstyle above his head and transforms into-

Wario: THE PURPLE WIND!

Terrormisu Oh ho ho, m'lord, you are just so dashing when you're in your costume! Come then, let's see if you can handle this!

**BATTLE 1 START!**

_Hero_  
Wario: 150 HP, 135 SP

_Villain_  
Terrormisu: 150 HP, 135 SP

Wario: Hopefully you've got a few new tricks, or this battle'll be over before you even get the chance to damage me!  
Terrormisu: Oh ho ho, is that so? Well then, perhaps this will do?

With that, Terrormisu transforms into her demonic form!

Terrormisu: Oh ho ho, how do you like me now?  
Wario:...well, you're uglier now.  
Terrormisu: I know I don't like pretty, m'lord, but trust me, I think you'll appreciate me for this!  
Wario: Oh, SHUT UP ALREADY!

Wario uses the power of Goodstyle!

Goodstyle: I shall assist you in this battle, Wario!  
Wario: Just give me the power already.

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Sparky Wario! He unleashes a Thunderbolt attack for 7 SP! Terrormisu takes 23 dge!

Terrormisu: Oh! How uncouth! I shall have to teach m'lord some manners!

Terrormisu swaps out her mask with the Sad Mask! She gurgles up and spits out a stream of water for 8 SP! Wario takes CRITICAL 34 dge!

_Hero  
_Wario: 116 HP, 128 SP (Sparky!)

_Villain  
_Terrormisu: 127 HP, 127 SP (Sad...)

Wario: What the heck?  
Terrormisu: Oh ho ho! Did you really think you could just beat me like that? You'll have to deal with all 100% of this fiiiiine demon meat! *winks*  
Wario:...KILL IT! KILL IT NOW! KILL IT WITH FIRE!  
Terrormisu: I like fire!  
Wario: KILL IT WITH ROSES!  
Terrormisu: I love roses!  
Wario: KILL IT WITH CHOCOLATES!  
Terrormisu: Chocolates turn me on~  
Wario: DEAR GAWD, WHY ISN'T ANYTHING WORKING?!  
Gawd: I DON'T KNOW, IT'S HORRIBLE!  
Yoshi: I don't know what's worse, her flirting or his set-ups.  
Waluigi: I think I'm going to be sick...  
KR: You know, I'd probably be enjoying all the torture the heroes are going through...if I wasn't going through it myself.

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Genius Wario! He uses his boxing glove to strike at Terrormisu for 18 dge! Terrormisu exchanges masks and puts on the Solemn Mask! The mask glows and summons a lightning bolt that strikes at Wario for 31 dge!

_Hero  
_Wario: 85 HP, 128 SP (Genius!)

_Villain  
_Terrormisu: 109 HP, 127 SP (Solemn...)

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Captain Wario! He boards his submarine and...well, lands on the ground.

Terrormisu: Oh ho ho, how quaint! M'lord, you do realize you are not anywhere near water?  
Wario: Pipe down and take this!

Captain Wario fires several torpedoes for 12 SP! Terrormisu takes a total 47 dge!

Terrormisu: OUCH! That actually hurt!

Terrormisu exchanges masks and brings out an Angry Mask! She flares up and unleashes a spiral of fire at Wario for 8 SP! Wario takes 13 dge!

_Hero  
_Wario: 72 HP, 116 SP (Captain!)

_Villain  
_Terrormisu: 62 HP, 119 SP (Angry!)

Wario: Wahahahaha! Whatcha gonna do now?

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Cosmic Wario! He zaps Terrormisu with his ray gun for 6 SP! Terrormisu takes 17 dge!

Terrormisu: Oh ho ho, m'lord, I'm about to show you what I'm going to do!

Terrormisu adds on her Happy Mask to her Angry Mask! She then blasts out a vaporizing beam for 17 SP! Wario bounces away quickly and takes only 27 dge!

_Hero  
_Wario: 45 HP, 110 SP (Cosmic!)

_Villain  
_Terrormisu: 45 HP, 102 SP (Angry & Happy!)

Wario: Whoa! Guess we better wrap this up, huh Goodstyle?  
Goodstyle: I don't think you'll be able to beat her if she keeps adding masks and powering herself up! Perhaps now is the time for-  
Wario: Okay okay, I'm on it.

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Arty Wario! He uses Risky Art Maneuver for 15 SP! He brings out his easel and paints away at it, eventually making...a heart!

Wario: Alright!  
Goodstyle: Good show!

Wario takes the heart and recovers 100 HP! Terrormisu gets enraged, powering up her Angry Mask! She adds on her Sad Mask! She unleashes a Triple Beam Blast for 23 SP! Wario takes the full hit for 74 dge!

_Hero  
_Wario: 71 HP, 95 SP (Arty!)

_Villain  
_Terrormisu: 45 HP, 79 SP (Angry, Happy, and Sad!)

Goodstyle: Master Wario, we can't take another hit like that!  
Wario: Goodstyle...time to bring out the dragon!  
Goodstyle: Alright then.

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Dragon Wario! He breathes out fire for 8 SP! Terrormisu takes 14 dge! Terrormisu has to recharge after her Triple Beam Blast!

Terrormisu: What can I say? It's quite a blast...

_Hero  
_Wario: 71 HP, 87 SP (Dragon!)

_Villain_  
Terrormisu: 31 HP, 79 SP (Angry, Happy, and Sad!)

Wario uses Goodstyle and transforms into Wicked Wario! He flies up and dives down at Terrormisu for 7 SP! Terrormisu takes 14 dge!

Terrormisu: This is to be the end of you! Good bye, m'lord! Oh ho ho ho~

Terrormisu fires off her Triple Beam Blast! Wario takes a whopping 69 dge!

Wario: Hehe, "69".  
Waluigi: That's my bro!

_Hero  
_Wario: 2 HP, 80 SP (Wicked!) (DANGER!)

_Villain  
_Terrormisu: 17 HP, 79 SP (Angry, Happy, and Sad!) (danger...?)

Goodstyle: This is it! If we don't beat her in the next two turns, we're done for!  
Wario: Goodstyle, I think it's time to unveil my best transformation yet!  
Goodstyle: Can we not do that particular one? I don't think I can bear going through that humiliation again.  
Wario: What? No, I mean the best transformation!  
Goodstyle: Oh, you mean the actual best transformation and not that one transformation from that time-  
Wario: Just turn me into Wario-Man already!  
Goodstyle: Right-o!

Wario uses Goodstyle, cuts his SP in half, and transforms into the super hero alter-ego!

Wario: Stouter than an iron burrito...Studlier than a snow tire...I am...WARIO-MAN!  
Terrormisu: What?! That wasn't one of your transformations!  
Wario: Not in _Wario: Master of Disguise_, of course, but in _Warioware_, it's all over the place! Anyways, TAKE THIS!

Wario-Man leaps high into the air and comes down butt first!

Terrormisu: Wa-wait a moment, just what do you think you're-

Wario-Man unleashes the Wario Waft!

Yoshi: How long has it been since he's used that attack?  
Waluigi:...uh-oh...  
Yoshi: What?  
Waluigi: He hasn't used that attack for at least a chapter.  
Yoshi: Wait, are we talking Chapter 16 length chapter, or normal length chapter?  
Waluigi: I'd say one-and-a-half regular chapters.  
Yoshi: So translate that to time?  
Waluigi: Oh geez, what, a couple months?  
Yoshi: He's been holding it in for a couple months?  
Aroramage: And he's now Wario-Man, so it's even more powerful.  
Yoshi: Oh...EVERYBODY HIT THE DECK!

And that's when the Great Explosion of Rainbow Ride happened, wiping out Terrormisu in a foul-smelling wind of noxious combustible gasses. And causing the cage to explode. And a hole in the arena. Also it sent Wario flying.

Wario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**END BATTLE 1!**

After clearing out the area of the toxic gases, fixing up the arena, recovering Wario, wiping up the screaming remains of Terrormisu-

Terrormisu: IT STINKS LIKE SOMETHING I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE!  
KR: Well done, Wario, albeit not exactly the most clean of victories I must say, but well done nevertheless. Now then, send out your next hero, and they shall take on the next big boss by themselves!  
Mario: And just who is the next boss?  
KR: Oh, how about we find out? BRING OUT THE NEXT BOSS!

Inside the cage, a crown ice ball with eyes appears!

KR: BEHOLD, THE POWER OF...wait, who is this?  
GL: I believe that's Baron Brrr.  
KR: Baron Brrr? That's a boss? Oh there's not even a challenge in that guy! Although this coming from me of all people...oh what the hell, it's not like I had anything better to do today. WHO WILL YOU SEND IN, HEROES?

The heroes look around at each other.

Yoshi: Well, uh, this guy doesn't look that tough.  
Birdo: I'll just go in and take him on.  
Yoshi: Oh, okay then.  
Birdo: What?  
Yoshi: Well, just that I wasn't going to suggest you in case-  
Birdo: In case what? You thought I might be too weak?  
Yoshi: No, I was going to not suggest you so that you wouldn't be insulted as the weakest of the bunch.  
Birdo: Which is what you're saying right now cause you're not suggesting me.  
Yoshi: No, I'm saying you're easily strong enough for this guy-  
Birdo: So I could beat him with a single punch?  
Yoshi: I mean, maybe one or two, but yeah-  
Birdo: One or two?! What are you saying?  
Yoshi: I'm saying you can beat this guy.  
Birdo: I can beat this guy!  
Yoshi: Right, exactly!  
Birdo: So support me!  
Yoshi: I AM supporting you!  
Birdo: Tell me to go out there and win this fight!  
Yoshi: GO OUT THERE AND BEAT THAT GUY UP!  
Birdo: What are you saying? That I'm not strong enough for the tougher guys?  
Yoshi: What the, NO!  
Birdo: Haha, I'm just kidding, sweetie~ I'll see you in a bit.

Birdo heads out onto the field.

Waluigi: Bitches, man.  
Yoshi: Shut up.

Birdo walks into the ring and brings out her Power Gauntlet.

KR: Oh good, weakling on weakling action.  
Random Goomba: ZING!

Krillen hits a button and sends the random Goomba flying.

KR: Well, let's get this over with.

In the middle of the field, a chilly wind and cold water molecules compact together and transform into Baron Brrr!

Yoshi: Cold water molecules? We wouldn't even be able to-

I now press a button and send Yoshi flying out of the stadium.

Yoshi: YOU SONUVABIIIiiiiiiiii...*ding*

Meanwhile, in the more important part of the universe, Baron Brrr appears ready to face off against Birdo!

Birdo: That's it? I'm supposed to fight a snowball with a crown?  
KR: Oh right, almost forgot.

Suddenly tall pillars of ice spring out of the ground. Baron Brrr attaches himself to a pillar and pulls it out, transforming it into an arm! He does the same with another pillar before making two legs out of two other pillars! Baron Brrr then exercises his new limbs and prepares to pound Birdo!

KR: Okay, begin!

**BATTLE 2 START!**

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 150 HP, 135 SP

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1500 HP, 0 SP

Birdo brings out her Power Gauntlet!

Birdo: This will be over soon.

Birdo uses Super Punch for 3 SP! She punches Baron Brrr with her Power Gauntlet! The Baron takes 10 dge!

Birdo:...oh my.

Baron Brrr punches Birdo for 23 dge!

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 127 HP, 132 SP

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1490 HP, 0 SP

Birdo and Baron Brrr exchange blows, dealing 23 and 23 dge to each other!

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 104 HP, 129 SP

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1467 HP, 0 SP

Birdo and Baron Brrr exchange blows, dealing 38 and 23 dge to each other!

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 81 HP, 126 SP

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1399 HP, 0 SP

Mario: At the rate this is going, Birdo's going to get crushed to bits!  
Luigi: But look at the Baron. He's not doing too well either. It'll be close, but-

Birdo and Baron Brrr exchange blows again! Birdo hits for 57 dge! The Baron hits for 23 dge!

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 58 HP, 123 SP

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1342 HP, 0 SP

Birdo: *panting* Well, better start some variation.

Birdo pulls out an Egg Bomb for 4 SP! She tosses it at Baron Burr for 37 dge! Baron Brrr punches at Birdo for 23 dge!

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 35 HP, 119 SP

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1305 HP, 0 SP

Birdo uses Egg Cannon for 8 SP! She sucks in air and fires off an egg at Baron Brrr for 27 dge! Baron Brrr punches at Birdo for 23 dge!

_One-Birdo Army!  
_Birdo: 8 HP, 111 SP (DANGER!)

_The Barrrrron!  
_Baron Brrr: 1278 HP, 0 SP

Brrr: *digital growling*  
Birdo: Darn it. This is a lot tougher than I thought it'd be. But now, I think I can handle it!

Birdo uses up all of her SP to invoke a Final Smash! Birdo sprouts dragon wings and is adorned with a crown, a royal scepter, and various golden jewels!

KR: Wait, why is she doing that? That's not how this works! Although Wario did use the Wario-Man technique...

Birdo transforms into Super Dragoness Birdo!

Mario: Wait, since when can she do that?  
Luigi: Beats me.  
Birdo: And now it's time to beat you down!  
Brrr: *digital moan*

Birdo unleashes the power of her Super Dragoness form! She rains down fiery eggs of death upon the Baron, smiting him with the scrambled terror of a sunny-side-up!

CC: What the heck are you talking abou-

The glorious deviled powers rain down upon Baron Brrr, smashing their eggy shells all over his face for a continuous tumbling of 12 dge!

CC: Only 12 dge?

Per egg.

CC: Oh.

BY THE DOZEN!

CC: Oh come on!

Baron Brrr takes 12 dge x36! Birdo then rises into the sky and plummets down with her Power Gauntlet! An earth-shattering blow is delivered, breaking Baron Brrr into a thousand pieces and KO'ing him instantly!

KR: Oh what the fu-

Fortunate Birdo Wins!

**BATTLE 2 ENDS!**

Birdo exits her Super Dragoness form and collapses onto the battlefield.

Mario: Birdo!

The heroes rush out to help Birdo off of the field.

Birdo: I'm alright. *cough* Just used up a lot of energy.  
Lucky: You need to rest after all of that. It was a very taxing battle overall.

The heroes bring Birdo back to where Wario is snoring, setting her gently down. A lone repetitive clap is heard across the arena as the heroes look up at Krillen.

KR: Oh bravo, I say, that was absolutely ingenious. *and maybe a little bit deus ex'd, but* that's okay! We're not here to judge, we're here to fight! And speaking of fighting, it's time to bring out the next contender in our multiman struggle! Gentlemen, release the Kraken!  
Gary: Wow, that was terribly cliché-wait, what?

No time is given to explain what Krillen means as suddenly a large beast breaks through the bottom of the arena floor, which crumbles away to reveal a large pool underneath. The beast appears to be a giant Blooper, but its tentacles are replaced with Chain Chomps, and its once vacant eyes are now in a constant angry glare.

KR: I'm sorry, did I say Kraken? I meant more of a Bloop-Chomp or something to that effect.  
Gary: Wait, you're calling this a Bloop-Chomp?  
KR: Well, between all the time there was in preparing the necessities to create this biological abomination and actually creating this biological abomination, there wasn't really enough time to give it a good name. Some of us have ended up just calling him Petey!  
Gary: What, like Petey Piranha?

Krillen looks over at Petey Piranha in the audience, who laughs and flies off.

KR: I thought that name sounded familiar. Well, maybe it won't matter since you're going to be calling it your doom anyway!  
Gary: More clichés, man.  
KR: Maybe you'd like to fight the Bloop-Chomp?...huh, ya know, it's not as evil sounding as I thought.  
Gary: Look, if you need an evil sounding name, just go with something actually intimidating. Like I'd call this the Chain-Blomper or something like that.  
KR: Oooh, I could get behind that Chain-Blomper one! It mixes names AND it sounds intimidating! Now then, FACE THE WRATH OF THE CHAIN-BLOMPER!  
Gary:...wow, I think I might have peed my pants that time if I had pants to pee into.  
Waluigi: Way ahead of you...  
KR: Of course, it wouldn't be fair to just have only one of you fight him, so I'll let you pick three heroes to fight!  
Gary: Well, who should fight-  
?: Oh hey guys.

Everyone looks to find Yoshi, having made it back just in time for the end of the update!

Yoshi: Oh come on!  
KR: Well then? Who's going to fight the Chain-Blomper?!  
Luigi: I'll take em on. Gonna have to go sometime, I'm sure.  
Ghoulman: I. HAVEN'T. SAID. MANY. LINES. RECENTLY! I. MUST. FIGHT. FOR. MY. RIGHT. TO. SPEAK!  
DK: Looks like you two are going to need my help for this fight.

Luigi, Ghoulman, and DK now enter the ring! The Chain-Blomper bloops and smashes its Chain Chomps around the stage.

KR: Oh, I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should. Let's begin!

**BATTLE 3 START!**

_Valiance!  
_DK: 165 HP, 145 SP  
Luigi: 160 HP, 145 SP  
Ghoulman: 170 HP, 135 SP

_The Beast!  
_Chain-Blomper: 1000 HP, 500 SP

DK punches the Chain-Blomper for 78 dge! Luigi punches the Chain-Blomper for 67 dge! Ghoulman uses up 7 SP to bring out the Ghost Blade! He summons two Pink Boos and chews them up, forging a sword with which he slashes the Chain-Blomper for 74 dge!

The Chain-Blomper rages and strikes out at the three heroes! DK takes 29 dge! Luigi takes 23 dge! Ghoulman takes 27 dge!

_Valiance!  
_DK: 136 HP, 145 SP  
Luigi: 137 HP, 145 SP  
Ghoulman: 143 HP, 128 SP

_The Beast!  
_Chain-Blomper: 781 HP, 500 SP

DK: Huh. This enemy feels different to fight against.  
Luigi: Why, cause it's got Chain Chomps for tentacles? Cause that's pretty different.  
DK: Nah, I mean like we're making actual progress, ya know? We can inflict hefty amounts of damage onto him!  
Ghoulman: I. THINK. HE'S. GOT. A. POINT!  
Luigi: Hmm, ya know, you might be onto something.

DK brings out a couple of barrels for 8 SP! He blasts them at the Chain-Blomper, hitting him for 89+87 dge! Luigi charges up with electricity for 10 SP! He unleashes lightning down upon the Chain-Blomper for 193 dge! Ghoulman slashes at the Chain-Blomper with his Ghost Blade for 76 dge!

Luigi: Wow, we are doing a lot of damage! It's like we've actually been secretly leveling up this entire time, and we're just now getting the benefits of all our stat boosts! This feels like...oh god.  
DK: What's wrong?  
Luigi: I just remembered what story we're in and what plot scenario this is.

The Chain-Blomper rages even more! It summons a legion of Chain Chomps for 50 SP!

DK:...oh.  
Luigi: Ayup.

The Chain-Chomp legion charges across the field at the heroes, hitting DK and Luigi for 130 dge! Ghoulman uses his Transparency to dodge the onslaught!

_Valiance!  
_DK: 6 HP, 137 SP (DANGER!)  
Luigi: 7 HP, 135 SP (DANGER!)  
Ghoulman: 143 HP, 128 SP

_The Beast!  
_Chain-Blomper: 336 HP, 450 SP

Ghoulman: ARE. YOU. GUYS. AL-  
Luigi: No, Ghoulman, we are NOT alright.  
DK: If that thing brings out another attack like that, we're going to get smashed!  
Ghoulman: THEN. LET'S. COMBINE. FORCES. TO-

Ghoulman is suddenly assaulted by several rabid Chain Chomps! He takes 123 dge!

_Valiance!  
_DK: 6 HP, 137 SP (DANGER!)  
Luigi: 7 HP, 135 SP (DANGER!)  
Ghoulman: 20 HP, 128 SP (DANGER!)

_The Beast!  
_Chain-Blomper: 336 HP, 450 SP

KR: I would pay more attention to the fight next time! He actually gets to attack twice if you've knocked his health down enough!  
Luigi: Oh god, this sounds like Dragon Warrior Monster logic.  
KR: Who knows? It might be.  
Ghoulman: GUYS! LET'S. DO. THIS!  
Luigi: Well, this is that plot line.  
DK: Oh-ah!

DK unleashes all of his SP into one attack, bringing out a set of Kongo Drums! Luigi unleashes all of his SP and begins to charge a dark energy as he rushes the Chain-Blomper! Ghoulman unleashes all of his SP and reverts his Ghost Blade back into two Pink Boos as he summons up even more Pink Boos! The Chain-Blomper prepares to counter attack!

Luigi: NEGATIVE ZONE!

Luigi dances around the Chain-Blomper, surrounding it in a dark energy field that slows its movements to absolutely sluggish speeds of Turtle MPH!

DK: KONGA BEAT!

DK rushes the Chain-Blomper and whacks out a rhythm on his drums, injuring the Chain-Blomper severely and distorting its hearing abilities so it can't listen to its crazy heavy metal music on max volume in the car anymore!

KR: What does that even-  
Ghoulman: GHOST. GHOST. TO. COAST!

Suddenly a large wave of Pink Boos comes up behind Ghoulman!

Ghoulman: BOO. TYPHOON!

The wave of Pink Boos laughs maniacally as they bombard the Chain-Blomper, pounding into its muscles and weakening it severely! Some even enter its head and start dealing mental damage to each of its heads! The Chain-Blomper can't take the Triple Final Smashing Assault that it is being bombarded with! The total damage comes out to...

Aroramage: Let's see, add this to that, take out the resistance, double the weakness, carry the two, divided by the square root of-  
Luigi: OH COME ON!

It's enough to KO the massive behemoth!

KR: Awww, whaaaat?!

The Chain-Blomper is defeated!

**BATTLE 3 END!**

KR: Okay, I'm calling hax on that one.  
Luigi: Oh shut up.

The three heroes collapse, exhausted onto the ground.

KR: Well, if that's really how you want to go about it then, fine. In that case, why don't the rest of you just come on out and battle this entire stadium of people, unleashing your Final Smashes willy-nilly? Seriously, I'm starting to feel a little cheated now.  
Lucky: These are your rules, Krillen! We're just abiding by them!  
KR: Hmm, fair enough. In that case, let's see what you can do about this! SUMMON THE RANCOR!

Suddenly out of the depths of the asfsdafds comes afsda dsagdsaf.

Mario: Wait, what's happening?  
KR: Oh, right, by "RANCOR", I meant "Regenerative Annihilating Nemesis Countering Offensive Rejects." Special little program, actually, bartered it off the Kirby games.  
Kirby: HAAAAAAIIIIIIII  
KR: Anywho, who wants to face my terrifying-  
Waluigi: MY TURN!  
KR: Oh. Okay then.  
Mario: Waluigi, be careful. These boss fights have been extremely tough. Everyone's had to use up all their strength just to get by!  
Waluigi: Hey, you know what time it is?  
Mario:...uh, Waluigi time?  
Waluigi: WALUIGI TIME!

Walui8i jsump rtno the arean, joiedn by noen oteah thae teh CompUTer Vri2s from Kiaey Speur Star!

Aroramage: Oh great, now I have to physically narrate these scenes myself so that the Auto-Type doesn't give up this kind of garbled garbage...hehe, alliteration. Alright anyway...aaaand, Auto-Type is off. Let the battle begin!

**BATTLE 4 START!**

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 150 HP, 120 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus: ?

Virus: Battle Scenario Engaged! Summon Enemy!  
Aroramage: Looks like a green slime creature of sorts has appeared on one of the virus' windows.  
Virus: A Slime Appears! Waluigi Attacks!  
Aroramage: How convenient.  
Waluigi: I'll say!  
Aroramage: Waluigi charges at the Slime! It has 83 HP, so it should be easy to beat. Waluigi punches the Slime several times!  
Virus: The Slime Takes 27 Damage!  
Waluigi: Wah-hah!  
Virus: The Slime Attacks!  
Aroramage: The Slime just fired off a star at Waluigi! It hits!  
Virus: Waluigi took damage!  
Aroramage: Looks like 17 dge to be exact.

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 133 HP, 120 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Slime): 56 HP

Waluigi: Wahhhhh!  
Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: TAKE SOME OF THIS WITH YA!  
Aroramage: Waluigi is spending 5 SP and bringing out his Tennis Racket to smack that Slime silly! He's inflicting enough damage to-  
Virus: You Defeated The Slime!  
Aroramage: Yes, that.  
Waluigi: Whoo! Easiest battle yet!  
Aroramage: Hang on now, it's summoning a new creature.  
Virus: Summon Enemy! A Puppet Appears!  
Waluigi: Awww, what?  
Aroramage: You'll have to defeat all of the programs enemies if you're going to win.  
Waluigi: Dangit!  
Virus: The Puppet Gets The First Attack!  
Waluigi: Double dangit!  
Virus: The Puppet Laughs At Waluigi!  
Waluigi: WHAT FOR?!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 133 HP, 115 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Puppet): 104 HP

Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO LAUGH ABOUT!  
Aroramage: So, looks like Waluigi's tossing a Bob-Omb for 4 SP on the Puppet, exploding it for a pretty good 67 dge! I'm impressed!  
Virus: The Puppet Took 67 Damage!  
Waluigi: Yeah, what now, you silly little-  
Virus: The Puppet Tries Self-Destructing...  
Waluigi: Wait, WHAT?!  
Virus:...But Fails.  
Waluigi:...huh.

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 133 HP, 111 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Puppet): 37 HP

Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: There can only be one smack-down!  
Aroramage: Waluigi's bringing out the Tennis Racket again and paying 5 SP to beat down on the poor Puppet.  
Virus: You Defeated The Puppet!  
Waluigi: Excellent!  
Virus: Summon Enemy! A Magician Appears!  
Waluigi: A what?  
Virus: The Magician Gets The First Attack!  
Waluigi: Pffft, like that even mat-  
Virus: The Magician Attacks!  
Aroramage: Uh-oh, the Magician fired off three stars at Waluigi, hitting him for 31 dge!  
Virus: Waluigi Took Damage!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 102 HP, 106 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Magician): 130 HP

Waluigi: Oh geez...  
Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: Alright, time for some action!  
Aroramage: And it looks like Waluigi's spending some of his SP in order to bring out some kind of...wait, is that an Alarm Bob-omb?!  
Waluigi: Here we go!  
Aroramage: He throws the Alarm Bob-omb over towards the Computer Virus' field! And then...well, it's kinda just...chilling there.  
Virus: The Magician Took No Damage!  
Aroramage: Well that was silly.  
Waluigi: Wait for it.  
Virus: The Magician Casts A Fire Spell!  
Aroramage: Uh oh, the Virus just spewed out fire at Waluigi! That's gotta hurt!  
Virus: Waluigi Took Damage!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 88 HP, 98 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Magician): 130 HP

Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: Waluigi chucka anotha Bob-omb!...ah!  
Aroramage: And it looks like he's throwing...a Sticky Bob-omb this time! It's stuck to the Magician and...doesn't really do anything either. How strange.  
Waluigi: Wait for it!  
Virus: The Magician Takes No Damage! The Magician Fires An Ice Spell!  
Aroramage: Waluigi better do something soon, that Ice Spell just took out another chunk of his health!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 72 HP, 93 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Magician): 130 HP

Lucky: What's he waiting for? He'd have beaten him by now, right?  
Mario: Wait for it.  
Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: Hehe, almost ready.  
Aroramage: And Waluigi chucks another Sticky Bob-omb at the Magician for 5 SP! What is he up to?  
Virus: The Magician Takes No Damage!  
Aroramage: The Virus could finish Waluigi off at this ra-  
Waluigi: Now.  
Aroramage: Now what?  
Virus: The Alarm Bob-omb Explodes!  
Aroramage: Oh. OH! Ohhhh, the Alarm Bob-omb just blew up, causing the Sticky Bob-ombs to blow up as well, and-  
Virus: The Magician Is Caught In The Explosion!  
Aroramage: And he took a ton of damage! Even the window took some damage from that!  
Virus: You Defeated The Magician!  
Waluigi: If ya can't beat em from the outside, beat em from the inside!  
Aroramage: So you think you've beaten him?  
Waluigi: Oh yeah, the window's cracked up, there's no way-  
Virus: Summon Enemy! An Evil Knight Appears!  
Waluigi: Oh come on!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 72 HP, 88 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Evil Knight): 180 HP

Waluigi: Arrrrrgghhhhh...  
Virus: The Evil Knight Gets The First Attack! The Evil Knight Raised His Shield!  
Waluigi: What, getting all defensive cause I'm kicking your ass?  
Aroramage: Maybe, but your attacks are going to do even less damage than before, so be careful.  
Waluigi: Ha! Waluigi Numbah One! I got this in the bag! Just watch me stop this guy!  
Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: Expletive statement! Gotta shout it out! High-five the sky! Kattobinguze!  
Mario: What's with all the shouting?  
Yoshi: You don't think he's going to taunt the opponent to death, is he?  
Aroramage: Waluigi, quick! You gotta attack before the virus withdraws its form!  
Waluigi: Now he tells me! GO PUNCTUATION BOMBER!  
Aroramage:...sly bastard. Waluigi spends a lot of SP on this Punctuation Bomber, hitting the Evil Knight with:

"!": 17

Aroramage: -explosive bombs!  
Waluigi: TAKE THIS!  
Aroramage: And the Knight is hit with-  
Virus: The Evil Knight Took 51 Damage!  
Aroramage: Wow, that's still impressive, considering the shield took out 75% of that!  
Waluigi: Wait...are you saying I would've won if he didn't have his shield up?  
Aroramage: Maybe, yeah.  
Waluigi: WAAAAHHHHHH!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 72 HP, 76 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Evil Knight): 129 HP

Virus: The Evil Knight Slashes His Sword!  
Aroramage: And Waluigi manages to bend himself out of the way, miraculously surviving the attack!  
Waluigi: Miraculously?  
Virus: Waluigi Dodged The Attack! Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: WALUIGI SMASH!  
Aroramage: Waluigi smacks around the Evil Knight with his tennis racket for 78 dge! Not bad!  
Virus: The Evil Knight Takes 78 Dge!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 72 HP, 71 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Evil Knight): 51 HP

Virus: The Evil Knight Stored Up Power!  
Aroramage: Quick Waluigi! You'll have to finish him off in one go or else his next attack will be even stronger!  
Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: Well then, time for a Pop Culture Bomb!  
Yoshi: A what?  
Aroramage: A what?  
KR: A wot?  
Virus: A What?  
Waluigi: POP CULTURE SMASH!  
Aroramage:...what the Medley of YouTube ( watch?v=4eeX4oJGT5o) is playing?!  
Waluigi: Take this attack! The power of all of YouTube is in my hands!  
Aroramage: Wait, where did those shades come from?  
Waluigi: *puts on shades* Cause this is Waluigi Style.  
Virus: Randomness Variable Maximum! The Evil Knight Cannot Handle This Pressure! The Evil Knight Lays His Sword Down In Despair And Submits To The Power Of The Internet!  
Waluigi: That's right what now you sonuva-  
Virus: The Great Dragon Appears!  
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 72 HP, 35 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Great Dragon): 250 HP

Waluigi: Geez, that took a lot out of me.  
Virus: Waluigi Attacks!  
Waluigi: Eh?  
Aroramage: Waluigi, go for the strike!  
Waluigi: Oh. Eh. Yah!  
Aroramage: And Waluigi...lazily punches the Dragon.  
Virus: The Great Dragon Took 2 Damage!  
Aroramage: Waluigi that was pathetic by comparison.  
Waluigi: SHUT UP!  
Virus: The Great Dragon Spews Fiery Breath!  
Waluigi: He spews wha-OH GAWDI!  
Gawd: YES! BURN FOR ALL THE CRIMES YOU'VE COMMITTED IN MY VAIN NAME! AND THEN YOU CAN ROT IN HAWLL!  
Geezus: Me, Dad, lighten up a little, will ya?  
Gawd: YOU WILL BE ANGRY AND BITTER LIKE ME SOMEDAY!  
Aroramage: And so Waluigi burns...and burns...  
Virus: Waluigi Took Damage!  
Waluigi: WAAHHHHHH!

_Antivirus!  
_Waluigi: 37 HP, 35 SP

_Malware Program!  
_Computer Virus (Great Dragon): 248 HP

Aroramage: Waluigi, do something!  
Virus: Death Awaits Waluigi! Waluigi Attacks In Vain!  
Waluigi: Oh that is IT! Waluigi Super Advanced Holographic Mega-Rare Garlic Powered Explosive Secret Power Punch Pack Promo 1st Edition Activate!  
Yoshi: What?  
Aroramage: What?  
KR: What?  
Virus: What?  
Waluigi: FINAL SMASH!  
Aroramage: Oh, gotcha. Waluigi activates his hidden Final Smash and loses the rest of his SP!  
Yoshi: What could it be?  
CC: Something big?  
Mario: Something incredible?  
Gary: Something crazy?  
Waluigi: All of that and more! Be amazed and witness the power of-  
Aroramage: Waluigi's transforming into some kind of superhero outfit akin to Wario's Warioman outfit! He's got the bandana mask! He's got the flowing cape! He's got the stretchy bodysuit covered in spuds!  
Yoshi: Spuds?  
Aroramage: He has become...  
Waluigi: THE WALUIGI KID!  
Aroramage: And apparently he's got toy pistols.  
Waluigi: Toy pistols of DEATH! NOW DIE DRAGON VIRUS DIE!  
Aroramage: And so in a brilliant and indescribable manner, the Waluigi Kid flies up into the air, firing off multiple times not only at the Computer Virus' Dragon but also at the Computer Virus itself, dealing out inexplicable amounts of bombarding damage from his explosive toy bullets, all while laughing maniacally at the top of his lungs in a sort of "hahahahahahaha" manner.  
Yoshi: I thought you said it was indescribable.  
Aroramage: Really the description provided does it no justice.  
Virus: SYSTEM ERROR SYSTEM ERROR SYSTEM ERROR SYSTEM ERR-

BOOM!

And just like that the Virus is finally defeated, allowing for automatic narration titles to come back on in style! Man did I miss these narrations. See? See how much you've missed them? Ahh, but who am I kidding-

Waluigi: WALUIGI NUMBAH ONE!

And then Waluigi collapsed on the ground.

Yoshi: Wow. I guess all these Final Smashings have really taken their toll on us.  
Mario: Just a little bit.  
?: Well then, I guess we better get a move on in wrapping things up here then, shall we?  
Yoshi: No. No. No no, no no no!  
?: Yes, yes, yes yes yes!  
KR: Oh good to see you again, Mr. L!

And with the power of flight and an evil cackling grin upon his face, Mr. L makes his dastardly return into the story!

Mr. L: Yes, I thought I might stop by and tell you we're done here. You can pack up the tourney and leave.  
KR: Oh but I was having so much fun watching them beat our baddies! You know how I like to test the limits of the heroes while at the same time watch them torture our allies with their immense strength and prowess!  
Mr. L: Again, we're done. But don't worry, I'll be leaving them a present to deal with.  
KR: You mean it's finished?  
Mr. L: Ready and waiting!  
KR: Oh goodie! Then I suppose we shall be off then!  
Mr. L: Right then. As for you remaining heroes, here's the spoils of your success.

A few Power Stars and tossed down to the heroes! The heroes have gained 4 Power Stars!

Yoshi: Well this is...odd.  
Mr. L: Don't think that's the only gift I'm leaving you with. Consider this a nice parting favor!

And with that a large present lands on the arena floor. It opens itself up to reveal a smaller box, then another box within that box, and so on until finally it opens up to reveal a small humanoid robot.

Yoshi: You didn't rebuild Brobot MLX again just to beat us, did you?  
Mr. L: Please, you've killed enough of my brothers already. Brobot L-Force is doing just fine, as you can see. No, consider this a prototype to a new death machine for you all!  
KR: And with the end of this match will come the end of the Olympiad! So please, feel free to die with this last one!

And with that, Mr. L and Krillen von Roostenheimer laugh away as they disappear from the arena, a single green feather dropping down from the sky.

Lucky: He was regenerating.  
Yoshi: Huh?  
Lucky: That cocky cock was regenerating his body throughout the entirety of those fights!  
Gary: Whoa what really?!  
Lucky: You guys didn't notice it, but when you're a magical elf like me, you can sense the magical energies going around here. He was counting on us to use our Final Smash maneuvers in order to absorb our power through magical tendrils connected to the enemies, allowing for him to undergo a magical transformation that would restore his missing body parts from when he lost them all back in the lava sea!  
Yoshi: And you didn't tell us this earlier because why?!  
Lucky: I wasn't sure about it at first. Like I said, I can sense magical energy, but that doesn't mean I can trace it immediately. I could only sense those tendrils coming off of the enemies at first, but as the fights continued, I expanded on my sense until I realized the source was Krillen.  
Gary: He did look a little greener and feathery when he left.  
CC: Blast it all!  
Mario: So what do we do about that robot then?

The group looks at the robot which has yet to activate for some strange reason.

CC: You think there might be a way to befriend it?  
Yoshi: Befriend a robot built by one of our greatest enemies in this entire story? Are you kidding me?  
Mario: I don't like the idea anymore than Yoshi does, but maybe having a robot side with us wouldn't be such a bad idea.  
Gary: But how would we be able to do that?  
Yoshi: Provided it doesn't plan on murdering us the moment it activates.  
CC: I think I've got this.

The Crimson Crusader walks up to the robot in question. Its black exterior reflects the sunlight lustrously as its lenses flash in a blank expression. The Crusader walks around it and hops up to its head, taking out the back of its head in order to look inside at its circuitry. After tinkering with it for a bit, the Crusader hopped off and headed back to the group.

CC: No worries, I took care of it.  
Yoshi: Since when can you program robots?  
CC: Oh that was a hobby of mine way before I was into the whole "Crimson Crusader" thing.  
Yoshi: How did you even get access to technology and computers and advanced robotics?  
CC: I'm a nerd, Yoshi. I get those kinds of powers by default because of story stereotypes.  
Yoshi:...aroramage.  
Aroramage: What? He's a very nerdy rabbit! He made up his own superhero name and everything!  
Yoshi: That's not how stereotypes work.  
Aroramage: Says the talking dinosaur who isn't singing his A-B-C's.  
Yoshi: I-C-U-B-A-weirdo.  
Aroramage: I-C-U-do lots of things. Hush up.

The robot then whirred to life, its eyes flashing on in a red evil glaring glow!

Yoshi: I thought you said you took care of it!  
CC: I did. Granted I have no idea what plugs into what as far as morality goes.  
Yoshi: I thought you said you did robot programming as a hobby!  
CC: It's been a few years, cut me some slack!

Suddenly, the mad whirring of the robot ceased and changed into a delicate hum as its eyes transformed into a blue good looking glow!

Robot: GREETINGS LIFE-FORMS. MIXER AND COMBINER OF ELEMENTS, M.A.C.E. AKA MAC, NOW BOOTING UP PROGRAM 1.0  
CC: Huh. Maybe it worked after all.  
Mac: IDENTIFICATION: ALLIES NEARBY. REQUEST RALLYING PROTOCOL.  
Yoshi: What?  
CC: He's asking to join us.  
Yoshi: Oh. Well, I guess that would kinda prove that whatever you did worked.  
CC: Yes, that definitely proves his alliance has changed to the good.  
Yoshi: Well okay then.  
Mario: And now to solve the problem of all our friends being completely wiped out after their fights.  
Mac: PROBLEM IDENTIFIED. APPLYING REFRESHER RAY SOLUTION.

Mac then hovers over to the fallen heroes and blasts them with a wave of energy, refreshing them and restoring their HP and SP!

Yoshi: Huh. Maybe this isn't such a bad idea.  
Waluigi: Wah? What happened?  
Mac: GREETINGS OTHER LIFEFORMS. WE ARE ALLIES.  
Luigi: Good grief, what is that?!  
CC: This is Mac, a robot Mr. L left that I reprogrammed to be on our side.  
Waluigi: Since when can you do that?  
Yoshi: Since five minutes ago, apparently.  
CC: Try five years ago!  
Aroramage: And that's not even long enough.

And so with their allies restored to full health and their Power Stars collected and strange various medals flying towards them-

Heroes: Ow ouch geez ouch ooh ow!

-our heroes win the Olympiad and befriend Mac, the mysterious robotic gift from Mr. L. Is he a gift or a curse? Will the heroes be able to use him against his creator? Will they be able to bypass Bowser's defense and get into the castle? Will they save Peach and Daisy and anyone else who needs saving? Will they-

Yoshi: You can stop now, the chapter's as good as over.  
Aroramage: Yeah, maybe having months to finish this one chapter up has been a bigger toll than usual.  
Waluigi: So we're not counting Chapter 16 in terms of dates?  
Aroramage: Oh it counts alright. It counts immensely.

Well then, onwards and upwards to the final battle!

Yoshi: Wait, we're going into the final battle?  
Waluigi: WAHHHHHHHHHHH

(August 1, 2012 - May 26, 2013)


	21. Ch 20: The Chapter That Explains All

Chapter 20: The Chapter That Explains Everything

Aroramage: Hello, readers, and welcome to Chapter 20! Now I know how excited all of you are in your anticipation of the final battle between good and evil coming up in the next chapter or so, but there are some questions beforehand that have yet to be clarified, such as:

What happened to the other Power Stars that have seemingly gone unnoticed during this entire time?

What happened to all the cameos who appeared in the previous chapters?

What goes on in the lives of characters like Hokempokemweh of the Desert, the Touhou characters, and the actual bosses from the games who appeared maybe once or twice, now that they've returned to lives of semi-normality?

Well, that's why there's this chapter, The Chapter That Explains Everything!

We'll start with something easy and what-not: the characters!

Hokempokemweh, the ancient revived pharaoh who was thought to have gone AWOL, has gone back to his eternal rest in the tomb back in Shifting Sand Land. After his experiences in the new world, he spent some time exploring it, and, realizing how much has changed, decided to give up his plans for world domination in favor of having fun at Disney World. He now sleeps soundly and eternally with a stuffed Mickey doll next to him for comfort. It's specially wrapped for him.

The Eyerok guardians also went to eternal sleep. They didn't really have much else to do after serving Hokempokemweh, and as he went to eternal sleep, so did they. They each got themselves their own dolls too: Righty took Goofy while Lefty holds onto Donald. They trade off every couple thousand years or so.

The Touhou characters went on to create more games and live out their lives over and over again by trying to prevent the hero from succeeding. On their breaks, they occasionally invade other stories but have recently run into the Interdimensional Firewall that sprung up in recent years. Since then, they have tried to break through the wall. They're still working on that.

Monkey D. Luffy, Admiral Razorbeard, Tetra, Cortez, Ridley, Cecil, and Jonathan Jones have come together and recently formed the League of Extraordinary Pirates, consisting of all different kinds of pirates from all walks of life. Their activities usually have been to get together and talk about all sorts of swashbuckly things and rewatch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. They eagerly await the latest sequels.

Awkward Pause Sr. and his family founded the Awkward Pauses Family Business, set-up on being paid by sponsors to come in and be active at various moments in stories. Now, every time he appears, Awkward Pause Sr. gets a small bonus for his years of service: a free coupon for ice cream. Awkward Pause Jr. loves his father very much.

Goomboshi and Shrawful managed to get their own talk show on NPR, where they discuss such heated debates as remembering those who were used for one or two cameos in any story. They usually take a moment of silence on their Thursday show for this remembrance. The show runs on a channel people can't find easily, though, save for those who get the specially marked say you only need to appear in a story once to get it.

Jeff and Sue would continue to date each other after their encounter on the ships. Three years would go by before Jeff asked Sue to marry him. She said yes. The wedding is next spring.

Harrison Ford went on to star in many more badass roles, eventually getting inducted into the Hall of Badasses. He is now immortalized as one of the greatest, alongside such names as Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee.

Someone has been sent to the local mental hospital after his delusions for being Mario and Luigi's father got out of hand. He is still somehow convinced that he's their father. Nobody can change his mind yet otherwise.

The Paradox Brothers eventually gave up on their tag-team dueling and continued their rhyming with a younger audience group. They would eventually found the group known as the Bald Duo, but they soon fell flat in the face of The Wiggles. They've retired in China to grow crops for Honest Town and Liarsburg.

Nowhere continues to exist, but his loneliness has become more apparent. After paying for a few therapy sessions, he decided to take up a life of crime, assimilating all sorts of crazy phenomenon and unusual things. The events that occurred as a result of this are all recorded in the popular TV show, Courage the Cowardly Dog.

Ten2One appears every now and again to remind people of his unusually proportioned self. People have since decided to abandon using the phrase "ten to one" in order to-

Ten2One: I'M DESTITUTE, GET ME A JOB!

...eh-hem. Yes. Ten2One needs a job now. He's applying to Burger King.

Gawd managed to recover from his incident with the ships, as we all know, and he has found a new assistant to replace the one lost. He continues to reside in Heffawn, doing what he does best: damning everybody. He's obtained a new vigor for his job, with the help from his son Geezus. And he loves his job.

Unlucky disappeared into the nethervoid, never to return to plot the demise of his real world counterpart. In fact, he's just not bothering with villainy anymore and has decided to open a retirement home for the dark counterparts. Anti-everyone is anti-happy about this decision.

King Boo and his fellow Boos started up a chain of haunted hotels, complete with dysfunctional elevators, creaking floors, slamming doors, flickering lights, rattling windows, and free laundry services. Their services have given them a fortune, which King Boo has spent on the construction of Castle Boo. The castle is currently under construction.

V.V. Argost died as he lived, screaming in agony as he was blown apart. Granted, this blowing apart that led to his death was really part of using power and anti-power from a young boy gifted with the ability to deal with cryptids, but I suppose being set ablaze and turned into a giant fireball is kinda the same thing.

Team Sandwich continued to walk the paths of attempted heroism and villainy before deciding to retire. They rested upon the Great White Plate, awaiting their ascension into the Great Consumer. They still await the Day of Grabbing.

The Big Bob-omb, Goomboss, and King Chilly founded the Villains R Us toy store where all the latest evil gadgets and technologies can be found. Their best customer in particular shows up quite often, a strangely egg-shaped mustachioed man. The three co-owners get along well with their best customer.

The Clockmaker still thrives to this day, doing what he's always done. He maintains Tick Tock Clock's scenery just as well as he did before anyone showed up to take it away. He's also relying on powering the clocks through a curious means, somehow using the energy of the space-time continuum to power the clocks. It still needs some testing after the incident involving a telephone box in London.

The Wiggler of Hearts continues to rule the tiny island world of Tiny-Huge Island. Granted, she's really not that big or threatening. In fact, she's rather small when you get right down to it! Which on Tiny-Huge Island basically equates to nothing...

His pride shattered into a million pieces, Colonel Bogey has ventured out with the Hazard Boys in search of a world they can fit in. So far worlds that have refused them include the NBA, the WNBA, the MLB, Wimbledon, the NHL...

Koopa the Quick eventually managed to get out of jail. Nowadays, he spends his time participating in marathons across the world. He uses it to raise money for the Koopas Without Shells Foundation, a non-profit organization for those Koopas without homes to go to. Bowser doesn't like charity work, but then again he doesn't know.

PrinceShroob and Mesprit/Shroob have settled their differences and have since become at peace with their one-ness. They've gone on to create such contradictory things as the Dark Lightbulb, the Frozen Fire, and of course the Electrified Stone.

BM/Crystal King/MSM1 became MSW1 and announced herself as a woman.

TRC: *laughs* Oh, Magey, MSM1 isn't a woman!  
Aroramage: Actually, Chao, she's...well, she is.  
TRC: Huh?  
Aroramage: MSW1 is actually a girl.  
TRC:...HUH?!  
Aroramage: Well, not biologically speaking, more mentally speaking...it's kinda complicated.  
TRC:...does this change anything?  
Aroramage: Huh?  
TRC: DOES THIS CHANGE ANYTHING?!  
Aroramage:...what are you getting at, Chao?  
TRC: I'M GETTING AT CHAPTER 11! THE PART WHERE WE FUSED TOGETHER!  
Aroramage: Oh yeah, you guys did that didn't y-  
TRC: Have I been mind-f*cked?  
Aroramage:...what.  
TRC: HAVE I BEEN MIND-F*CKED?!  
Aroramage: Uh, I don't think this is the best place for-  
TRC: OH MY GOD, I'M NOT A MENTAL VIRGIN ANYMORE!  
Aroramage:...I don't think...why would you...WHAT?!  
TRC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

...so, uh, yeah. The Red Chao ran out the office window just now. I hope he didn't fall down, there's supposed to be a group of spike-layers down th-

TRC: YEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

...huh.

The Breakfast Brigade, on the other hand, has a very different story:

The ship docks at a small landing, and the mighty captain steps off of his vessel. He looks up towards the shining hill and climbs up to it slowly, his pace off-centered from his various battle scars. A toucan flies by above him over to the hill and settles down near a trio of statues as the captain reaches the top.

Sam: They were so young...  
Crunch: Aye, they were.

Captain Crunch continues past several statues, looking upon the faces of fallen comrades. He looks across at them all and sighs deeply. As the duo stand near the statues, another humanoid being walks up to them as well. He looks down at the statues.

Omega: Are these the others you mentioned?  
Crunch: Sadly so. They fought bravely for our side, alongside the others.  
Omega: I'm sorry for your loss.  
Crunch: Don't mention it.

The group continues down a pathway leading from the memorial and into a large shrine. Before them is a sitting statue of a mustached man wearing glasses, looking regal in his simple business suit.

Omega: Who is that?  
Crunch: Kellogg, the one who gave us life. One might say he's a lesser deity, but he is our greatest protector.  
Omega: And what do you hope to do with this?

Crunch nods over at Toucan Sam, who brings out a small pouch. He opens it up to reveal several Power Stars inside.

Crunch: With these Power Stars as an offering, we may be able to reverse the damage done to our comrades. We may even be able to reverse the damage caused by Krillen.  
Omega: So that's why we gathered these Power Stars.  
Crunch: Indeed. Even if it was difficult to do, we needed to find a suitable amount to allow the ritual to work.

Crunch then takes the Power Star pouch away from Toucan Sam. The two nod to each other, and Crunch heads up to the statue of Kellogg. He kneels down before the statue and holds up the pouch.

Crunch: O Mighty Kellogg, born April 7, 1860 and deified October 6, 1951, worshipper of the Seventh-Day, founder of the Company and the Ranch and the Foundation, bringer of joy and nutrition, grant unto us your favor in light of this offering and bring forth your divine power to make our wish come true!

The Stars twinkled brightly as Crunch said his prayer, though at first it appeared that such a thing did nothing. Then the statue of Kellogg began to move its mouth in a talkative way.

Kellogg: Behold, true disciple, for I am the Founder. Please deposit 1 Power Star to continue.

Crunch looked up with some mild confusion as the statue held out its hand. A slight pause occurred before Crunch took out one of the Power Stars and handed it to the statue. The statue then took hold of the Star and placed it behind the back of the altar.

Kellogg: Thank you for your kind donation. Please feel free to use our services for whatever means you deem of them.  
Crunch: Are you well Kellogg?  
Kellogg: Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not. Please deposit 1 Power Star to continue.

The statue held out its hand again. Now the trio exchanged suspicious looks with each other as Crunch handed over another Power Star.

Kellogg: *placing the Star behind the altar* Very good. Now your request as to my health is answerable, but I think that's not really the most important thing on your mind right now, is it?  
Crunch: Not particularly, no.  
Kellogg: Well then, let's see what we can do about that. In fact, let's bring in some associates of mine to help out!  
Crunch: Associates?

Suddenly out of the shadows appeared three figures, one of a portly stature, one of a regal manner, and the last of a hulking monstrosity. Toucan Sam and Omega then took arms against these mysterious figures just as Crunch looked to see a couple of spidery limbs come out from behind the altar.

Kellogg: Maybe you remember your old pal, Mr. L?  
Crunch: You're not Kellogg's statue!  
Kellogg: Oh good, he caught on, I was so worried I wouldn't have the chance to pulverize him myself!

And just like that the statue of Kellogg transfigured itself into a much different form, one with a sinister monocle, a diabolical cane, and two thin chicken legs.

?: ROOSTER legs, thank you very much.  
Crunch: You! How dare you make a mockery of our Founder!  
KR: Oh pish-posh, it's not like he was doing anything other than gathering dust anyway. So I thought I'd do you all a favor-

At this point, Krillen tossed the stone head of Kellogg down in front of the trio.

KR: -and turn him into dust!  
Crunch: I suppose you want the Power Stars!  
KR: My goodness he's smart! Wouldn't you say Mr. L?

The Green Thunder popped out of the back of the altar, attached to Brobot L-Force and carrying two Power Stars.

Mr. L: I don't know, who can say who's brilliant when you just hand over a couple of Power Stars?

Crunch finally drew out his sword and wielded it in front of him.

Crunch: If it's a fight you want, I best warn you it's a fight you'll get!  
Mr. L: Oh and there's no doubt of that! But why fight us when you can just as easily fight our new allies?  
KR: Yes, best to get rid of them now and grab the Power Stars.  
Sam: You can have the Power Stars when you pry em from our cold dead hands!  
KR: That's the idea.

Krillen snaps his fingers together, and the figures lunged forth! Toucan Sam worked hard to fight off the dazzling royalty shadow, but it was too quick, dodging his attacks until it plunged a deadly parasol into his back! Meanwhile, Omega worked to hold off the shadowy monstrosity as it breathed fire down upon him, and Crunch fended off the portlier shadow as it bombarded him with punches and fireballs!

Crunch: You! How could you bring out these people to fight us!  
Mr. L: Biologically engineering, a couple Power Stars, and lots of free time.

Soon it became clear that Omega and Crunch were no match for these two beings. Beaten down to the ground, the shadows claimed the pouch of Power Stars and brought them over to Mr. L.

Mr. L: Very good. It seems the test run is a success!  
KR: Goodie! Now then...

Krillen walked up to the fallen duo, his talons clicking against the ground as he approached.

KR: Looks like I get to have the great pleasure of annihilating the two of you personally. And believe me, it's well worth the wait.

He stepped down on Crunch's throat as he drew out the blade in his cane.

KR: *bending down* I want you to pay close attention, Crunch. I want you to watch as I skewer this friend of yours right in front of your eyes. I want you to see him die, just as I had to sit on the sidelines and watch as all of you gained popularity in the hearts of children while I was left alone as a bland and tasteless cereal brand.  
Crunch: *chokes out* And a bland and tasteless mascot.  
KR: Believe me, when I'm done here, bland and tasteless won't even describe my shoes.  
Crunch: You wear shoes?  
KR: Only on Sundays.

Krillen then plunges his blade into Omega's heart. Being composed of mostly robotic parts, this in turn causes Omega to sputter and fry electrically. Crunch can do nothing as he watches Omega's writhing in agony until eventually the power source pops and Omega falls back on the ground, no longer meant to run.

KR: And that's exactly what I hope you'll do.  
Crunch: Shame that, seeing as I'm not a robot.  
KR: I've got my ways.

Krillen electrifies the blade and plunges it through the captain's chest, electrifying him while also stabbing him at the same time. A gurgly popping sound is heard as Crunch loses his last breath, coughing up blood on Krillen who simply wipes it off with a handkerchief.

KR: I'd say rest in peace, but why would I ever want that for you?

He then turns and wipes off the blood from his blade.

KR: Shall we be off then?  
Mr. L: My pleasure.

And so the two villains walk away from the scene, followed only by their shadow allies. All that's left at the altar is the head of a statue and three corpses. One sputters out his last few words.

Sam: Lucky...Yoshi...Mario...you are our last hope...


	22. Ch 21: The Final Battle in the Sky

_**Chapter 21: The Final Battle in the Sky**_

Peach's Castle. Home of Princess Peach, ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. And now it's been taken over by Bowser in an effort to obtain the Power Stars.

There were 150 Power Stars hidden throughout the castle.

Of those 150, 80 have been obtained by the heroes while the rest were collected by the antagonists.

Our heroes - Yoshi, the Crimson Crusader, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, Mario, Lucky, Gary, Luigi, Ghoulman, Birdo, Wario, and most recently Mac - have finished counting up their Power Stars in order to determine the number they have.

Yoshi: *phew* I think that's the last of them.  
Waluigi: Their shine's so dazzling to the senses!  
Wario: And they're gold too!  
Mario: Can we really break the curse of Bowser's grasp with these?  
Luigi: Especially considering the ones that Mr. L and Krillen have gathered. And who knows how many others we haven't even touched yet!  
CC: It doesn't matter at this point. What matters now is that we reach Bowser and defeat him!  
Luigi: And the person behind Bowser.

The group nodded in agreement with this. Then they headed up to the topmost room wherein lay the portals to Tick-Tock Clock and Rainbow Ride. From there and up one of two different staircases, the party met up in front of the infamous Star Door that blocked their one remaining path.

Lucky: What do you think this'll be like?  
Gary: I couldn't even begin to think of what it could be like.  
Luigi: So what happens now?  
Mario: We go save the princesses.

Mario then took charge and held up the Power Stars in front of the door. The door itself simply opened up, and then a familiar voice echoed through the room.

?: If you wanna get up these "endless" stairs, you'll need 80 Power Stars! Otherwise, forget about it! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

With that, the door was left open.

Yoshi: This is it, huh?

The others turned back to Yoshi.

Yoshi: This is the final battle.  
Mario: For this moment? Yeah. I would suppose so.  
Waluigi: Ya know, it's just now really sinking in. We're about to go through and kick Bowser's butt!  
Lucky: But what if the person behind Bowser doesn't show up? What about Mr. L and Krillen and the princesses? What if they're already gone?  
Mario: Well then we've got no time to lose.

And with that, Mario charged up the staircase with the rest in quick pursuit. And so they ran up those endless stairs, going up further and further into nothingness until finally the power of their Power Stars broke through the curse and landed them in front of one last portal in front of one last Bowser painting. And without hesitation, the party dived down into the portal and into the final world.

...  
..."It is done, then?"  
"Almost. All we need now is the power source."  
"An easy feat. Is Bowser in position?"  
"Ready and willing."  
"It's a shame. He was at least mildly useful in his own right. At the very least, he was a willing pawn ready to be sacrificed."  
"Shall I deliver swift judgment upon him then?"  
"As damnation consumes all of creation..."

...  
...

The party landed not in a world or sailed away into a fiery sea but now stood on the edge of a single platform high above the world. Or at least it appeared that way given that there was nothing in sight beyond the dark purple clouds that spread out beneath them.

Wario: Where are we?  
Birdo: Are we in the sky?  
Gary: I guess so.  
Luigi: But...there's nothing here.

Indeed, the heroes had all managed to squeeze themselves onto a single solitary platform. The wind chilled their bones as they had nothing to cross over to.

Mario: Well this is a mess.  
Yoshi: We need to find Bowser!  
CC: But there's nothing up here.  
Ghoulman: NOTHING. EXCEPT. THAT!

Ghoulman pointed to something out over in the distance, a small object of sorts. The object itself got bigger as it got closer, and soon enough the heroes realized that the object in question was in fact a large airship. Not only was it a large airship, but it was one of Bowser's own airships, heading over to the heroes.

Ghoulman: WHAT. DO. WE. DO?!  
CC: I don't suppose there's much of a plan at the moment.  
Mac: ANALYSIS: AIRSHIP DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE ARMED. CONCLUSION: THIS IS A DIPLOMATIC MISSION FOR THEM.  
Yoshi: Bowser's picking us up?  
Waluigi: Something smells funky and I don't like it.  
Wario: What? I like garlic! Okay, so it comes out bad sometimes-  
Waluigi: NOT YOU, DUMMY!

Eventually, the airship settled down by the heroes' platform and lowered a wooden plank to allow for boarding the vessel. A Koopa came by onto the side and hailed them aboard, and so the heroes boarded the airship and settled down as it began to fly off back towards where it came.

Koopa: Allo and welcome to de airship, where all da nice dings appen! Make sure to tighten your safety belts as we cruise on over to da arena of doom, where Bowser will proceed to scatter your brains all over da floor. Please note dat dere are no walls and dat da platform floats in da air, so if you fall, please leave a note in de Underwhere about your lost belongings, and a representative will come by and pick dem up. Enjoy your stay, and remember, Bowser's da Koopa King!

With that all said, the Koopa then left to go below decks, leaving the party alone on the deck on the ship.

Mario: Full of himself as ever, I see.  
DK: Yeesh, and I thought listening to King K. Rool's speeches was aggravating.  
Yoshi: Whatever did happen to King K. Rool anyway?  
DK: Oh, he's off in some jungle bothering with trying to take over that area. I heard he's getting beaten back by some worm though.  
Waluigi: I had no idea you talked down to such folks like that!  
DK: No, I mean like an actual worm.  
Waluigi: You mean a squiggly wiggly worm?  
DK: That kind.  
Waluigi: Man, who gets beaten back by a worm?  
Wario: Someone who ain't good at gardening, that's for sure! Wah ha ha ha!  
Yoshi: Guys, focus! We're almost there.

And soon enough, the airship began to approach a large platform surrounded by spike bombs, and in the middle of it all stood one lonely Koopa King. The airship landed and dropped the heroes off before taking off again into the lonely skies. As it left, the heroes turned to face their eternal tormentor, the baron of badness, the lord of loserdom, the king of kicking it old school, the philosopher-

Bowser: Oh for the love of-THEY KNOW WHO I AM!  
Mario: Bowser.  
Bowser: Mario...and company. It's been a while, hasn't it?  
Mario: It's over, Bowser. The Power Stars, the castle takeover, all of it!  
Bowser: You couldn't possibly understand how much more there is to all of this than just your stupid castle.  
Luigi: What are you talking about?  
Bowser: You really think that I took over Peach's castle just for the laughs? No, I took it over with a purpose this time! I did it to get a hold of all the Power Stars within the castle!  
Yoshi: Um, we know that, but why the Power Stars?  
Bowser: So that I could use their power in annihilating you from this world, Mario! So now, with all of my power and all of my anger, I say to you...

Bowser then walked up quiet triumphantly to the party, stood before them, and then...he...started kissing their feet?

Heroes: WHAT THE HELL?!  
Bowser: Please! I need your help! He's got the princesses and the Power Stars locked away in his castle, and he sent me out here to guard this world, but he blew it up so there was nothing left, and I've been stuck out here, and I don't know where Kamek is, and I WANT SOMEONE TO BE MY MOMMY FOR A MINUTE!  
Birdo: Ohhhhh, you poor thing.

Birdo then proceeds to motherly console Bowser, lifting him up with her Power Gauntlet and rocking him back and forth while he sucked on a thumb.

Mario: Well, this is...disturbingly odd.  
Yoshi: But if Bowser was just sent here for no reason with no world to guard, then what was-  
?: The point of gathering you all here?

Everyone turned and looked up to the source of the devilish voice and saw surely enough the green devil himself, Mr. L!

Mr. L: I assure you, there is a point and purpose to every part of the master's plan! And now that you all have been exiled here in this world, it's time to be rid of you, brought to you in part by Mr. L himself with the help of his latest creations, and heroes like you!  
Yoshi: You better crawl back into whatever hole you came out of, or we're going to-  
Mr. L: Ah-ah-ah, you wouldn't want to go through with all of that. Not with Brobot L-Force still in your way! But more importantly, you have some of my associates to deal with. Mr. M! Miss P! Mr. B! Come forth!

Out of the shadows then stepped out three identical clones to Mario, Peach, and Bowser, all garbed in clothing akin to Mr. L's style. The group looked over in shock at the arrival of these ethereal abominations.

Mr. L: You see with all the time spent working around you heroes, I've had ample amounts of your DNA to work with. So all it took was a little sampling of DNA here, a little mix of my own there, and presto! Evil cloning ahoy! Unfortunately, these are the only three that proved stable enough to work out.  
Luigi: You madman! You've gone too far this time!  
Mr. L: What, because I decided to play Gawd?  
Gawd: I LIKED DOING THAT!  
Mr. L: It's of no consequence to me if you think I can't do things. Besides, villainy comes with that kind of "I don't give a damn" perk! Now rot away into nothingness, and let the damned consume your souls!

With that and a spectacularly evil laugh, Mr. L vanished, leaving behind his three associates, Mr. M, Miss P, and Mr. B.

Bowser: Man, and I thought I had bad taste in costumes.  
Gary: Wait, so as Bowser, is that a good thing or a bad thing?  
Bowser: That's a bad thing!  
Gary:...wait, so is that good or bad?  
Bowser: It's bad!  
Gary: Which is good for a villain or bad for a villain?  
Bowser: I already told you that this is a bad thing!  
Gary:...wait, is that good or-  
Bowser: SHUT UP!  
Yoshi: Guess we have no choice but to fight these guys.  
Bowser: And you'll need my help!  
Lucky: Wait a minute, you were just crying in sheer terror a minute ago, and now you want to fight off some random evil version of yourself that just appeared out of thin air along with its shadowy evil compatriots?  
Bowser: Basically, yeah!  
Lucky: That seems suspect.  
Bowser: Look the only person who should be in control of Peach's Castle is me, and the fact that someone decided that they're gonna get rid of me to take it over and use the Power Stars for whatever sinister purpose they have instead of me, who just wants to takeover the world!  
Lucky:...well, it's more eloquently suspect.  
Mr. M: You...Stars...give...  
Mario: You know we won't do that.  
Mr. M:...die...

Suddenly, Mr. M charges in for a first strike!

BATTLE 1 START!

Mr. M uses Thunder! He charges his hands with electricity and brings down the house! Rock on, freaky bro!

...oh yeah, and the heroes take 24 dge all around!

_The Heroes  
_Yoshi: 141 HP, 155 SP  
CC: 131 HP, 155 SP  
Waluigi: 136 HP, 130 SP  
DK: 151 HP, 155 SP  
Mario: 126 HP, 150 SP  
Lucky: 116 HP, 165 SP  
Gary: 111 HP, 155 SP  
Luigi: 146 HP, 155 SP  
Ghoulman: 156 HP, 145 SP  
Birdo: 136 HP, 145 SP  
Wario: 136 HP, 145 SP  
Mac: 126 HP, 145 SP

_Mr. and Mrs. Villains  
_Mr. M: 250 HP, 200 SP  
Miss P: 200 HP, 200 SP  
Mr. B: 350 HP, 150 SP

Bowser: Hey! Why ain't I on that list?!  
Yoshi: Technically, you're not even on anyone's team.  
Bowser: Well then, I'm getting in on your team!  
Mario: Why?!  
Bowser: Well, they got a Bowser, so you guys need a Bowser too!  
Mr. B: ROOOOAAAARRRRRR!  
Bowser:...such a mean Bowser.

Bowser joins the heroes!

_The Heroes  
_Yoshi: 141 HP, 155 SP  
CC: 131 HP, 155 SP  
Waluigi: 136 HP, 130 SP  
DK: 151 HP, 155 SP  
Mario: 126 HP, 150 SP  
Lucky: 116 HP, 165 SP  
Gary: 111 HP, 155 SP  
Luigi: 146 HP, 155 SP  
Ghoulman: 156 HP, 145 SP  
Birdo: 136 HP, 145 SP  
Wario: 136 HP, 145 SP  
Mac: 126 HP, 145 SP  
Bowser: 250 HP, 180 SP

_Mr. and Mrs. Villains  
_Mr. M: 250 HP, 200 SP  
Miss P: 200 HP, 200 SP  
Mr. B: 350 HP, 150 SP

Yoshi uses the Gauntlet of Elemental Fury for 7 SP! He unleashes the power of Howling Desire to whip up a whirlwind and send it at the enemies! Mr. and Mrs. Villains took 18 dge each! CC uses Crimson Fury for 10 SP! He strikes down at Miss P!

CC: Have at thee!  
Miss P: Hehehehehehehe~

Miss P counters by trapping CC in a pink bubble!

CC:...well this can't be good.  
Waluigi: We got this! Ready Wario?  
Wario: Ready Waluigi!

Waluigi and Wario use Big Bang Bomber Storm for 14 SP each! The duo stack up a bunch of Bob-ombs!

Wario: Upsie-daisy!

Wario then tosses them up into the air as Waluigi brings out his racket!

Waluigi: WALUIGI TIME!

Waluigi smacks down the Bob-ombs at the enemies!

CC: WHOA HANG ON A SEC-

The bombs explode in a mighty burst around the enemies, including CC trapped in the bubble! Everyone in the explosion takes 58 dge!

Waluigi:...huh. I kinda forgot about you there.  
CC: No no, please, continue with exploding everything in your path. Don't let me get in the way, even when I'm _already in the way_.  
Waluigi: Ahhh, you'll get over it.  
CC: WHEN, WALUIGI?! WHEN WILL I GET OVER IT?!

DK fires off with a Barrel Blast for 8 SP! He hits Mr. M and Mr. B for 22 dge each!

Mario: Let's-a go!  
Luigi: Okey-dokey!

Mario and Luigi team up and use 13 SP each to perform the Dual Tornado! Mario charges a fire orb while Luigi charges a lightning orb, then they join hands and spin around! The twister smacks around the enemies! Mr. M takes 38 dge! Miss P takes 23 dge! Mr. B takes 45 dge! Lucky uses Teleportation for 10 SP! He teleports behind Mr. B and attacks him for 23 dge!

Gary: Actually, I have been wanting to try out this technique. Bowser, you use magic, right?  
Bowser: Uh, duh? I'm only freaking Bowser!  
Gary: In that case...

Gary shows Bowser the Magic Book of Spells!

Bowser:...ohhhhh, that sounds awesome!  
Gary: Does need two magic-users.  
Lucky: I use magic!  
Bowser: Step aside, marshmallows ain't magic.  
Lucky: They are too magic!  
Bowser:...  
Lucky:...magically deli-  
Bowser: NOBODY CARES!

Gary and Bowser use Mega-Magic Smackdown for 18 SP! The two charge up two different orbs of magic to their maximum potential! The two then combine their magic orbs into a single large orb, increasing the magical potency! Then they unleash the magic, showering the enemies in a flurry of magical blasts! Mr. M takes 57 dge! Miss P takes 34 dge! Mr. B takes 78 dge!

Mr. M:...kill it...

Mr. M counterattacks! He fires off a barrage of fireballs at Gary and Bowser for 7 SP! Gary and Bowser take 48 dge each! Mr. M recovers 24 HP!

Bowser: What the hell? He can counterattack _and_ recover?!  
Gary: Well that's pretty cheap!  
Miss P: Heh heh heh...

Miss P counterattacks!

Bowser: WHAT?!

Suddenly tentacles of dark energy sprout from her back for 8 SP!

Bowser:...what.

-and lash out at Gary and Bowser! The two take 32 dge each! Miss P recovers 16 HP!

Bowser:...well that just ain't fair!  
Gary: I don't like this...

Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 8 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, then spits them out at each of the enemies! Mr. M takes 14 dge! Miss P takes 18 dge! Mr. B takes 8 dge!

Bowser: Take that!

Mr. B counterattacks for 9 SP!

Bowser:...oh.

Mr. B inhales Ghoulman!

Ghoulman: I. DON'T. APPRECIATE-

GULP

Mr. B ate Ghoulman!

Bowser: He ate him! And then he's gonna eat me! Oh my GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!  
Yoshi: PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!

Mr. B recovers 48 HP! He then regurgitates a flaming Ghoulman at Luigi! Ghoulman takes 67 dge! Luigi takes 43 dge!

Yoshi: Well this is going to be a problem.  
Mario: They can counterattack and dish out heavy damage while recovering at the same time! How do we stop that?  
Waluigi: Keep wailing on them!  
Birdo: I like the sound of that!

Birdo charges at Miss P with her Power Gauntlet!

Birdo: Take this!

Miss P counters!

Birdo: What the-

Miss P ensnares Birdo with her dark tentacles!

Waluigi: I've seen enough-  
Yoshi: WE'RE NOT GOING THERE!

Miss P throws Birdo back at DK, hitting them both for 23 dge each!

Birdo: Great, just what we needed.  
Mac: ANALYSIS: COUNTERING WILL BE PROBLEMATIC. TACTICAL STRATEGY CONFIRMED. RUNNING ELEMANTIUM PROGRAM.

Mac triggers his arm into transforming into a cannon blaster!

Mac: ONLINE. ACTIVATE ROTATING CRYSTALS.

Mac opens up the cannon and rotates through a set of crystals, one each of red, blue, green, teal, and yellow.

Mac: CRYSTAL SELECTION: ICE CRYSTAL.

The blue crystal is loaded into the chamber!

Mac: ELEMENT BLAST ACTIVATE.

Mac charges up and fires an icy blue energy blast for 8 SP! He hits Mr. B for 37 dge! Mr. B becomes sluggish!

Mac: ATTACK SUCCESSFUL. ANALYSIS CONCLUDED.

Mr. M charges up two electric orbs in his hands for 8 SP! He fires one off at Waluigi and chains the orbs together, electrocuting Waluigi for 42 dge and recovering 21 HP!

Miss P: Heh heh heh...

Miss P uses 12 SP and vanishes! Mr. B spends 18 SP but is too slow to perform his move!

_The Heroes  
_Yoshi: 141 HP, 148 SP  
CC: 73 HP, 145 SP  
Waluigi: 94 HP, 116 SP  
DK: 128 HP, 147 SP  
Mario: 126 HP, 137 SP  
Lucky: 116 HP, 155 SP  
Gary: 31 HP, 137 SP (danger!)  
Luigi: 103 HP, 142 SP  
Ghoulman: 89 HP, 137 SP  
Birdo: 113 HP, 145 SP  
Wario: 136 HP, 131 SP  
Mac: 126 HP, 137 SP  
Bowser: 170 HP, 162 SP

_Mr. and Mrs. Villains  
_Mr. M: 88 HP, 185 SP  
Miss P: 65 HP, 168 SP (where'd she go?!)  
Mr. B: 105 HP, 123 SP (sluggish!)

Yoshi: Let's get rid of them as soon as we can then!

Yoshi uses 16 SP to create Elemental Fury's Sword! He charges at the enemy-

Miss P: Heh heh heh~

Suddenly, Yoshi is snatched by Miss P! She disarms the Elemental Fury's Sword from him and strikes him down for 40 dge!

Yoshi: Gah! Where did that even come from?!  
CC: Guys, I think it's time for that move again.  
DK: You mean that one?  
CC: Yep! Let's do this!

CC, DK, Ghoulman, and Birdo team up to perform the Cannonball Blitz, spending 18 SP each! DK summons up a barrel as Ghoulman swallows CC and is in turn swallowed up by Birdo! Birdo loads herself into the barrel, getting blasted out by DK! She hits Mr. B for 27 dge then lays an egg-

Miss P: Heh heh heh...

Miss P grabs the egg in midair and crushes it, hurting Ghoulman for 18 dge! Ghoulman spits out CC, who dives down on the exposed Miss P!

Miss P: Ehh?  
CC: Taste my blade, foul demon!

CC drills into Miss P for an astounding 48 dge! Miss P shrieks and disappears again!

Waluigi: You thinking what I'm thinking?  
Luigi: Surprisingly, yes.

Waluigi and Luigi spend 13 SP each! Waluigi brings out a special bomb that Luigi charges up with his electric powers! A green light lights up, and Luigi then proceeds to create his doppelgänger, who then grabs the bomb and carries it over to the enemy!

Luigi: The Weegee Thunder-  
Waluigi: BOMB!

The bomb light turns red and explodes, taking out the doppelgänger which also explodes violently! Mr. M takes 35 dge! Miss P avoids the brunt of the explosion, taking 8 dge! Mr. B takes 24 dge! Mr. M counterattacks, whipping out several lightning chains and snatching Waluigi and Luigi! He electrocutes them both and deals 27 dge to each of them, recovering 27 HP and losing 8 SP!

Mario: It's-a our turn!  
Wario: Wah hah hah!

Mario and Wario spend 14 SP each! Wario begins eating bunch of spicy peppers as Mario charges up a large fireball! Mario then hurls the fireball at Wario, who in turn devours it! Wario then flares up and charges at the opponents! He collides with Miss P on accident, knocking her down to her last HP!

Miss P: Eeeeeeeek!

Wario then breathes out a raging inferno that consumes the enemies! He hits them all for 27 dge each! Miss P is consumed in the flames!

Mario: Looks like she couldn't handle the Rampaging Inferno.  
Wario: *burp* Scuse me.

The fires help to warm Mr. B out of his sluggishness! Mr. B performs his attack now!

Wario: Wait, wha-

Mr. B roars fiercely and tramples over Wario for a dangerous 64 dge! He then tramples over DK, Mario, Lucky, Birdo, and Bowser for 53, 47, 43, and 38 dge respectively! Mr. B then recovers 62 HP!

Wario:...well that was annoying.

Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He uses the Heart charm to give the heroes regenerative properties! Gary casts a healing spell on himself for 5 SP! He recovers 50 HP!

Mac: RENEWED ANALYSIS. SWITCHING CRYSTALS.

Mac switches out crystals for the green crystal.

Mac: ELEMANTIUM SHIELD ACTIVATE.

Mac triggers the Elemantium Shield for 12 SP! He sets up a massive shield surrounded in a green aura!

Mac: ELEMANTIUM SHIELD ACTIVE. PROTECTIVE ELEMENT: EARTH.

Bowser uses up 30 SP and invokes the dark magical powers!

Bowser: Alright, showtime!

Bowser then begins to grow in size! In fact, he's beginning to grow to enormous proportions! He has become Giganto-Bowser! He slams down on Mr. M for 47 dge!

Bowser: What have you got to say about that?!  
Mr. M:...hate...

Mr. M uses his electric chain technique for 8 SP! He fires it off at the giant Bowser!

Mac: DEFENSE PROTOCOL INITIATED.

Mac intercepts the attack with his Elemantium Shield! The shield reflects the attack back at Mr. M, hitting him with enough damage to knock him out! Mr. B roars loudly and tramples over the entire team except for Bowser for 36 SP, hitting them all for 37 dge each! Mr. B recovers 111 HP! The heroes recovers 15 HP each!

_The Heroes_ (regenerative!)  
Yoshi: 79 HP, 132 SP  
CC: 51 HP, 127 SP  
Waluigi: 45 HP, 103 SP  
DK: 53 HP, 129 SP  
Mario: 57 HP, 123 SP  
Lucky: 47 HP, 148 SP  
Gary: 59 HP, 132 SP  
Luigi: 54 HP, 129 SP  
Ghoulman: 47 HP, 119 SP  
Birdo: 48 HP, 127 SP  
Wario: 50 HP, 117 SP  
Mac: 104 HP, 125 SP  
Bowser: 147 HP, 132 SP

_Mr. and Mrs. Villains  
_Mr. B: 200 HP, 87 SP

Yoshi: Give it up! There's no way you can win!  
Mr. B: Grrrrrr...  
CC: Yoshi, something doesn't feel right.  
Yoshi:...you know, now that you mention it, I do feel lighter.

Yoshi checks for the Power Stars, only to realize-

Yoshi: He took the Power Stars!

Mr. B then holds up a handful of Power Stars and grins!

Mr. B: That's right, what are you going to do about it?  
Yoshi: Wait a minute...YOU CAN TALK?!  
Waluigi: He can talk?!  
Mario: He can talk?!  
CC: He can talk?!  
DK: Peck an stalk?!  
Lucky: Pecan bark?  
Gary: Peek and dark?  
Bowser: Poke and stark!  
Birdo: Tony Stark?  
Mac: NEGATIVE: HE IS NOT IRON MAN.  
Wario: Boobies!  
Mr. B:...what is wrong with you people.  
Luigi: Trust me, this is relatively normal.  
Mr. B: Well, in any case, yes! I can talk! And now I'm ready to take over the world!  
Yoshi: Not if we have anything to say about it! There's more of us than you!  
Mr. B: What, you think you'll be able to beat me? Then come and try!

Yoshi picks up the Elemental Fury's Sword and pays 16 SP to keep it active! He then slashes at Mr. B, striking him down for 54 dge! Mr. B counterattacks and strikes at Yoshi! Yoshi blocks with the Elemental Fury's Sword, which breaks from the strike!

Mr. B: My power will exceed your combined strength! I will become unstoppable!

CC uses Crimson Fury for 10 SP! He slashes at Mr. B, who swiftly works to defend himself! Mr. B takes half damage, ending up with only 17 dge! Waluigi brings out his tennis racket for 5 SP and proceeds to whack at Mr. B! Mr. B deflects the strikes, taking half damage and thus only 18 dge!

Mr. B: It's pointless to resist! Prepare to be destroyed!

DK summons up the Banana Grove for 7 SP! He spreads the bananas across the group, letting the heroes recover 35 HP! Mario uses a Fire punch for 7 SP! He hits Mr. B for 28 dge!

Mr. B: Your power won't be enough! I'll still be standing when this is over!

Mr. B counterattacks! He spews out several small fireballs at the heroes! The heroes each take 12 dge! Lucky uses Marshmallow Power for 7 SP! He uses the Magic Mirror Charm to set-up a barrier! Gary uses Lightning Roar for 9 SP! He shoots lightning out at Mr. B for 38 dge!

Mr. B: Why do you persist? You fight against the inevitable. Your lives are forfeit!

Mr. B counterstrikes! He leaps up into the air and comes hurling down! He punches and hits the barrier!

Lucky: You won't be beating that anytime soon!

The barrier then breaks and shatters!

Lucky: OH SHI-

Mr. B is on top of Lucky when out of nowhere, a large Koopa-shaped shadow blocks the attack!

Gary: Bowser!  
Bowser: Quick! Hit him now! He's already draining my energy!

As he says this, Mr. B absorbs 20 HP from Bowser!

Bowser: I'll hold him off, but I can't do it forever! Go, now!

Luigi uses Lightning Strike for 10 SP! He hits Mr. B with a powerful burst of lightning for 32 dge! Mr. B drains 20 HP from Bowser! Ghoulman uses Ghost Cannon for 8 SP! He summons three Pink Boos, chews them up, and spits them at Mr. B for 34 dge! Mr. B drains 20 HP from Bowser! Birdo uses Super Punch for 3 SP, pounding Mr. B for 27 dge! Mr. B drains 20 HP from Bowser!

Mr. B: I will not be destroyed!

Wario rushes underneath Mr. B and uses Corkscrew for 7 SP! He hits him repeatedly for 27 dge! Mr. B drains 20 HP from Bowser!

Mac: INITIATING ELEMENT BLAST SEQUENCE. CRYSTAL ELEMENT: LIGHTNING.

Mac switches out his crystals and uses Element Blast for 8 SP! He fires off a bolt of lightning at Mr. B for 34 dge! Mr. B drains 20 HP from Bowser!

Bowser: You're done now!  
Mr. B: No! I am invincible!  
Bowser: Invincible, schminvincible! TIME FOR A GIGA-SIZED BOWSER SLAM!

Bowser uses the Bowser Bomb for 7 SP!

Yoshi: We might wanna move for this.

The heroes run to a safe distance as the humongous Bowser grabs Mr. B, leaps high into the air, then body slams him into the ground for CRITICAL 73 dge! Mr. B is defeated!

BATTLE 1 EN-

Mr. B: Oh, it's not over...not yet!

Mr. B suddenly grabs the fallen Mr. M and absorbs his power, summoning up an instrumental chorus of Tenacious D's Beelzeboss to play! His body transforms into a monstrous size as the heroes watch on, his body becoming more demonic with every second! Horns grow longer, spikes larger, claws, fangs - finally, Mr. Giga-B has arrived!

Mr. Giga-B: I AM COMPLEEEEEEETE!  
Heroes: Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!  
Mr. Giga-B: Fresh off the rack, check out my plaque,  
Now I'm complete, so it's time to attack!  
This world is now mine,  
and you're first in line,  
So prepare for your sorry asses to die!

Yoshi: Waaaaaait, waaaaaaait, waaaaaait, you freaky demon!  
Mario: (spoken) What's he doing?  
Yoshi: We challenge you to a rock off!  
Luigi: (spoken) What?!  
CC: (spoken) Yoshi have you LOST YOUR MIND?!  
Yoshi: Give us one chance to rock your socks off!

Mr. Giga-B:...GAHHH! GAHHHHH! GAHHHHHHHHH!  
The Demon Code prevents me,  
from declining a rock off challenge!  
What are your terms? What's the ca-a-atch?

Yoshi: If we win, you're gonna have to head on back to L-ll.  
And also you'll have to give those Stars ba-ack.

Mr. Giga-B: And what if I win?  
Yoshi: Then you can take Bowser to L.  
Bowser:...WHAT?!  
Yoshi: (spoken) Trust me, Bowser, it's the only way!  
Bowser: WHY ME?!  
Yoshi: (singing) To be your little bitch!  
Mr. Giga-B: FINE!  
Let the rock-off begin!

Mr. Giga-B laughs maniacally as the entire area is surrounded by fearsome flames and he summons out a giant colosseum filled with souls of the damned and a rock kit! He immediately thrashes out a sick beat on the drums!

Mr. Giga-B: I'm Giga-B,  
I'm the best, see?  
(plays some drums then brings out a guitar)  
Badass demon guitar solo!

Mr. Giga-B plays an insane guitar riff!

Mr. Giga-B: I'm a badass, and I do what I want,  
Across the Dark World, I travel and jaunt.  
There's never been a rock off that I've ever lost!  
I can't wait to bring Bowser to L!  
I'm gonna wreck him, make him feel my Hell!  
I'll make him ring-a-ding-ding like a little bell!

As Mr. Giga-B continues to play, suddenly-

Yoshi: No!

Yoshi turns and grabs Bowser!

Yoshi: Come on, man, let's bring it back to him!  
Bowser: (singing) There's just no way that we can win,  
That was wicked and rad.  
Yoshi: Listen to me-  
Bowser: He'll rock us down because he's not like any of us.  
Yoshi: (smacks Bowser) Gawddammit, Bowser, listen!  
(singing) He's gonna cut you down to size!  
He'll make you look so bad it's good!  
Bowser: No!  
Yoshi: Unless we beat this massive monster into the dust!

Waluigi: (singing) Dudes,  
we've been through so much stuff.  
CC: (singing) Had to take down opponents  
who were really tough!  
Heroes: Now it's time to take this sucker down!

Yoshi brings out a guitar and starts playing.

Yoshi: Come on, guys, now it's time to blow doors down!  
Bowser: I hear ya, Yoshi, now it's time to blow doors down!  
Waluigi: We'll rock this guy, come on, let's blow his ass down!  
Wario: As long as we're here, let's just blow up this whole town!  
Heroes: Now we've got to take this sucker down!  
Mario/Luigi: Our fireballs will make sure he won't take us down!  
Lucky: Keep it up, now let us rock this whole place down!  
Gary: Oooooooooh, we'll bomb yer ass off and blacken your lights out!

Yoshi: We're gonna beat ya, you freaky thing!  
We'll put you down, like a bee sting!

Bowser: There's only one Bowser, to stick around,  
that's gonna be me, so I'll take you down!

Waluigi: I like lots of desserts, like tiramisu,  
ice cream and cake, and cookies too!

Heroes: (confused singing) And cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too,  
and cookies too, and cookies too, and cookies too!

Mr. Giga-B: *rolls eyes* You guys are freaking lame!  
Come on, Bowser, you're coming with me!

Mr. Giga-B reaches down to retrieve Bowser!

Mr. Giga-B: Time for a thousand deaths, bitch!  
CC: Noooooo!

CC appears and slices off the shadow mutant creature's hand!

Mr. Giga-B: Argh! My hand! Why would you do that?!

Mr. Giga-B looks up in time to see Yoshi holding a Spiky Bomb!

Yoshi: Now with this bomb, apart you'll blow,  
and then you'll finally be no mo'!

Yoshi chucks the Spiky Bomb into Mr. Giga-B's hand, blowing him up!

Mr. Giga-B: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mr. Giga-B suddenly begins dissolving away into particles.

Mr. Giga-B: Curse you, heroes! And curse you, Yoshi!

I'll get you back for this some dayyyyyy! *dissolves*

As the rest of Mr. Giga-B dissolves into nothing, Waluigi plays a final chord on the guitar...

Lucky:...so...what just happened?  
Mac: ANALYSIS: INTENSE ROCK-OFF AND THE DISSOLVE OF THE OPPONENT. RESOLUTION: VICTORY TO US  
Yoshi: Mac, I couldn't have said it better myself.

The heroes turn to Bowser, who looks curiously guilty.

Bowser: I'm sorry about all this. This wasn't the way things were meant to go down.  
Yoshi: It's alright. The important thing is-  
Waluigi: Hey! Look what I found!

The group turns to see Waluigi carrying a curious gauntlet in his hands. It is emblazoned with a thunder symbol across the entire gauntlet.

Bowser: Could it be? The Gauntlet of Horrific Thunder?!  
Yoshi: Horrific Thunder?  
Bowser: If I'm right, that's the last part of the Gauntlet of Elemental Fury! With it, the Gauntlet will be complete, and you'll be able to unleash its full power.

Waluigi hands the gauntlet over to Yoshi, who fuses it together with his current gauntlet. The gauntlet shines brightly and transforms into a glittering gold!

Bowser: The Gauntlet of Elemental Fury, in all of its might.  
Luigi: Now what do we do? We don't know where Mr. L and Krillen have run off to now.  
Bowser: Actually, I do know.

Bowser conjures up some dark magic and summons up a portal from the depths of darkness.

Bowser: This is the portal that will take us to where they are. But I should warn you, there's no going back. Are you guys ready?

The heroes look around at each other, nodding to each other.

Heroes: LET'S-A GO!

The heroes and Bowser now all jump into the portal, ready to enter into the true final battle...

...

...  
..."So the time has finally come. The Seven Star Children united, the Gauntlet complete, and the rest of the Power Stars have finally entered my domain. This is it. This is the end..."

...  
...

(June 4, 2013 - July 30, 2013)


	23. Ch 22: The Final Final Battle in Space

Chapter 22: The Final Final Battle in Space

After warping through the portal, the heroes find themselves in the midst of the castle halls and stumble across a three-forked path. The halls extend out into the dark depths of the castle.

Gary: This is it, isn't it?

The others turn to Gary.

Gary: This is where it all ends.  
Mario: I guess so.  
Bowser: Alright, how we doing this?  
M.A.C.: OBSERVATION: OUR CHANCES OF SUCCESS MAY INCREASE IF WE SPLIT UP.  
Luigi: He's right. *looks down the hallway on the right* And I have a feeling I know where to go.  
Lucky: Yeah. *looks down the left hallway* I've got a feeling just like that.  
Yoshi: Alright then. Mario, Luigi, you two take Wario and Waluigi with you down that hall. Lucky, take Ghoulman, Crimson, and DK with you down the left hall. I think it's best for the rest of you guys to man the halls here, make sure we come back and nothing follows us in.  
CC: What about you?

Yoshi turns and looks down the center hallway.

Yoshi: I already know where I'm going.

The Crimson Crusader nods in understanding.

Bowser: Aww, man, I lead you guys here, and I end up having to wait in the hall.  
Yoshi: And we'll always appreciate you for it. But this is where you need to be. Just call it a hunch.  
Bowser: *hmph* Fine. But I won't like it!

Yoshi heads down the center hallway while the Mario and Wario Bros. head down the right hallway, and Lucky, Crimson, DK, and Ghoulman head down the left hallway. Bowser, Gary, Birdo, and Mac stay back in the hall.

...  
"Now it's our turn."

...  
...

At the end of the left hallway, Lucky, Crimson, DK, and Ghoulman find themselves in a curiously open laboratory. All manner of scientific machinery was about, electricity flowing between circuits and antennae. Liquids of all different colors bubbled about in various vials and casings.

CC: What is this place?  
?: Why it's my latest lair!

The group sees Krillen von Roostenheimer pop out from behind a machine, a tube in his feathery hand with an elongated needle-like protrusion coming from the end.

KR: And this is where you will die.

Before the group can even react, Krillen stabs the back of his neck with the needle, causing a ghoulish liquid to begin pouring into him. His very body begins to change and morph into something beyond description, an abominable sight that makes him unrecognizable. His muscles bulge to uncharacteristically large proportions, his eyes go bloodshot, and he grows until he's an enormous mutated being.

KR: Death awaits!

* * *

Down the right hallway, the Mario and Wario bros. enter a more vertical room, a hollow tower across which are several cables and wires stretching across the ravine. Looking up, there doesn't immediately appear to be a ceiling. Looking below, there doesn't immediately appear to be a floor.

Waluigi: I'd hate to find out how far down that goes.  
Wario: I'd hate to find out how far down that goes the _hard_ way.

The group looks at their surroundings, not finding anything notable or noteworthy save for a strange cocoon hovering above them. The cocoon is comprised of various wires and cables, marking a curious sight.

Luigi: He's in there.

The rest of the group looks at him.

Luigi: I don't know how I know, but I just know he's in there.  
Mario: Mr. L.

A villainous laugh echoes throughout the chamber at this response.

?: I'm glad you could make it! Oh, it's just so appropriate that I get the opportunity to crush you all! And you even left some back with my secret device! You really are the most foolish group of heroes to ever be encountered.

Suddenly, the cocoon starts splitting open! Wires and cables break as the spidery legs of Brobot L-Force spring out of it. Hatching forth from his self-induced prison, Mr. L stretches himself out as he reequips himself to the suit. His appearance is far more haggard than before, a shell of his former self from even the last time the group saw him.

Luigi: What's happened to you?  
Mr. L: You happened.

And with that, Brobot L-Force leaps down on top of the group!

* * *

Back in the hallway, Bowser, Gary, Birdo, and Mac are...bored.

Bowser: Gahhhh, so bored! Why doesn't something exciting happen?  
Gary: You don't think this place lacks enemies, do you?  
Bowser: I didn't think it would. After all, it's his castle.  
Gary: Wait, we're in a castle?  
Bowser: You can't tell from the inside, but we're actually in a floating castle above the clouds. It's a nice view, but we just kinda teleported somewhere in the middle.  
Birdo: I wonder what the castle itself looks like on the outside.  
Bowser: Meh, it's evil-looking, but not as evil-looking as my castle!  
Mac: ANALYSIS: WE ARE LOCATED IN THE CENTER OF THE CASTLE.  
Gary: Did you find out what the hallways lead to?  
Mac: ANALYSIS CONFIRMED: DANGER IN ALL DIRECTIONS. THREATS DETECTED IN EACH HALLWAY.  
Bowser: Each hallway but this one it seems.  
Mac: NEGATIVE. THIS HALLWAY IS ALSO THREATENED.

Mac's eyes turn red, and he triggers his cannons.

Mac: THREATENED BY YOU.

The others have very little time to react as Mac begins blasting at them! They dash around the hallway as Mac continues the assault!

* * *

Yoshi keeps running down the center hallway, seemingly without end. It just seems to stretch on and on forever.

Yoshi: Of course...the one hallway...that doesn't have an end...and I pick that one...geez! How long does this go on-

BAM!

Yoshi falls back as he runs into a single door in the hallway. He looks up at its magnificence, shimmering in the light of the candles spread throughout the hall.

Yoshi:...this must be it.

Yoshi looks at this door, knowing that this is the end. He clenches his Gauntlet-equipped hand into a fist and punches through the door, breaking it down off of its hinges!

Beyond the door is an extravagant and spacious room. It would appear to be a throne room of some kind. Directly in front of Yoshi a little ways away is a balcony staring off into a magnificent sunset.

And the one behind all of this.

He turns around to see Yoshi at the entrance to the room, his dark robes swirling around him.

?: So you have come at last, Yoshi.  
Yoshi: So it's been you this whole time.  
?: Indeed.

? summons up a table and chairs.

?: Care for a seat?  
Yoshi: Who are you?  
?: Me? I'm no one. I'm everyone. I'm all things and no things. I'm the one that allows you to breathe, allows you to live, allows you to be.  
Yoshi: That doesn't tell me anything.  
?: You don't understand?

? sits down and indicates that Yoshi should as well. Yoshi simply stands and stares at him. ? sighs and removes his hood, revealing his blackened exterior.

?: You're from an island in the middle of the ocean, one filled with many creatures of your kind. You were destined from birth to become great, and you have fulfilled this greatness as you see before you. And yet you've always known.  
Yoshi: Known what?  
?: About that feeling you've gotten every now and again. That feeling that someone was watching you, observing you, looking at you. As though there were a spy. And yet you never saw them. But you always turned around expecting to see them. And in a way, you did see them.  
Yoshi: You're not making any sense at all.  
?: There's a secret you've been unaware of for all this time, a secret well-guarded and well-kept for years. The Power Stars, the princess' castle, the entire world - all of it has led us to this moment.  
Yoshi: Who are you?

? looks at Yoshi, and for the first time Yoshi gets a look deep into the eyes of this being, this thing that has seen so much, this being that knows too well. Yoshi sees his entire life flash in this man's eyes - but not just his. He sees Mario saving Peach countless times, Bowser getting frustrated, Crimson making and donning his costume, Birdo vacationing on an island, the Wario Bros up to no good, Luigi at home reading - he sees the entire lives of his comrades, the lives of all the Toads, the lives of flowers and trees and creatures and the very earth itself!

Yoshi becomes overwhelmed and falls onto the ground as ? stands and causes the furnishings to disappear.

?: I am the world. I am the castle. I am the trees and the grass, the sand and the waves, the air and the clouds. I am the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the day and the night. I am that which has kept this world going for eons, and who has been tasked to keep it for eons more. I have seen everything because I am everything. I know much because I know all. I am your world, your sun, your stars. I am the entirety of your existence. I am Gallax-E.

The now finally revealed enemy picks up Yoshi up with telekinesis and holds him in the air. Yoshi struggles to break free and shoots lightning out at Gallax-E with the Gauntlet but to no avail. Gallax-E then uses his free hand to summon up a magical force! The force attracts the energies of the Power Stars and sucks them up into his hand!

THE HEROES HAVE LOST ALL OF THEIR POWER STARS!

Gallax-E: At long last, you've served me well, Star Child. Now I can continue my plans uninterrupted by your presence.

Gallax-E hurls Yoshi across the room and walks calmly over to the balcony. Yoshi struggles for a bit as Gallax-E summons up a large device to the balcony.

Gallax-E: My Giga-Star Cannon will now have the power to become fully operational. The end of all of creation will be at hand, and the universe will become mine.

Gallax-E raises his Star-filled hand and fires them off towards the main chamber. All 150 Power Stars are injected into the chamber and begin rotating around it quickly, charging up their power.

Gallax-E: This will be the end.

* * *

BANG BANG BANG

"Geez, can't this guy take a break?!"

Bowser, Gary, and Birdo are running through the castle halls, evading the blasts coming at them from a pursuing Mac. Bowser hurls a fireball at Mac, only for the Elemantium Shield to deflect the attack!

Birdo: We can't keep running forever!  
Bowser: Come on, Gary, you've gotta have a plan by now!  
Gary: I'm working on it! Lessee...

Gary flips through the Book of Spells until-

Gary: Here we go!

Gary uses the False Cloning technique! He clones himself and enhances the magic to affect Bowser and Birdo as they turn the corner! By the time Mac comes around, he is face to face with an army of Bowsers, Birdos, and Garys!

Bowser: Wow, smart thinking!  
Gary: ATTACK!

The mob launches an assault on Mac, who works swiftly to blast as many as he can!

Bowser: Now's our chance while he's distracted!

The three run off while Mac is dealing with the bombarding clones...

* * *

CRASH CRUNCH BANG

The laboratory slowly deteriorates as the mutant abomination Krillen stomps around, assaulting every trace of the heroes he can find. Lucky manages to somersault his way past a deadly arm thrust that pulverizes a nearby machine, causing a curious liquid to ooze out.

KR: It's no use hiding from me here! I know every square inch of this lab, and I know you can't run from me! The exits are sealed-

CRASH

KR: -your space is limited-

BANG

KR: -and when I find you, your death is assured!

CRUNCH

Krillen sees Ghoulman floating by and shoots out a burst of dark-blue lightning from his feathery hands! Ghoulman turns transparent and manages to evade before it hits, fleeing behind some machinery! Krillen is about to break this machine when-

DK: OOH-AHH!

Donkey Kong punches Krillen in the face and sends him toppling over onto the ground! Lucky then appears and uses his Marshmallow Power with the Pot of Gold charm to blind Krillen! Krillen roars in pain as the group hides again.

DK: What do we do? At this rate, we're gonna get pulverized!  
CC: Fear not, I have a plan.  
Lucky: I hope you're not just saying that.  
Ghoulman: ME. TOO!  
KR: Oh there you are!

The group dodges a heavily mutated fist coming down upon the machine they're hiding behind. The mutant Krillen looks around with one eye, the other still covered up by his free hand.

KR: Oh heroes, where arrrre youuuu?

Krillen looks around for them when-

CC: Hey! Over here!

Krillen turns and sees Crimson standing on the other side of the lab!

CC: Come and get me!

Krillen sneers and lunges at CC! He's about to land a punch when sudddenly-

Lucky: Marshmallow Power! Magic Mirror Charm!

A mystical barrier springs in front of Crimson, deflecting Krillen's blow towards the wall! Krillen roars in pain as DK and Ghoulman spring up and hit him again!

KR: Poppycock! This isn't the end yet!

Krillen reaches for the needle again and plunges it into his neck, feeding him even more of the dangerous substance! He becomes even more deformed and mutated than before, to the point where he starts growing tentacles on his body!

CC: Oh my Gawd...

* * *

KABOOM!

A bomb goes off as Wario ducks underneath a stab from one of the legs of Brobot L-Force! Desperately, the group is holding onto the walls coated in wires and cables so as not to plunge to their doom. Unfortunately, this doesn't affect Mr. L in the least, given that Brobot L-Force is supporting him.

Mr. L: You know, I will admit, all those sleepless nights, all those hard days of toiling away in the workshop, and all that time spent working on the perfect way to kill you all - I've spent a long time waiting for this moment, for my ultimate triumph!

A leg pierces through the wall as Mario dodges the attack!

Mr. L: The moment where I succeed my former self!

Another pierces through, barely missing Waluigi!

Mr. L: And rid this world of you once and for all!

A leg streaks towards Luigi, who catches it between his hands! He struggles to hold it off as the leg drives harder towards him!

Waluigi: I gotcha covered!

Waluigi arms himself with the Golden Bob-Omb Ring!

Waluigi: Can't say I haven't used this for much else, but here goes!

He leaps into the air towards Luigi, punching the leg with his ring-clad fist! A powerful explosion cripples the leg, saving Luigi from its grasp and forcing Waluigi back onto the wall!

Mr. L: No! My precious Brobot!  
Waluigi: Whoa...that was AWESOME!  
Mario: Go, Luigi!

Luigi leaps up into the air towards Mr. L and dives down on top of him! He manages to punch him in the face!

Mr. L: Bahh! You insolent worm!

Mr. L reaches behind him as Luigi falls down, saved by Mario swinging on a cable across the gap! Mr. L pulls out a pair of electrified pata!

Mr. L: I proclaim judgment on your corpses! And judgment is death!

The Brobot continues on its rampage, forcing the others to take action!

Luigi: Bro, I got it!

Luigi pulls out a couple of Raccoon Leaves from his Magic Bag of Power-Ups! He and Mario transform into Raccoons!

Wario: Hey! Don't we get some of that?  
Mario: You guys can transform into your superhero alter-egos!  
Wario:...oh yeah! I forgot about that!

Wario and Waluigi transform into Wario-Man and Waluigi Kid, giving them the power of flight! The fight continues...

* * *

Yoshi stirs and wakes up, looking around groggily.

Yoshi: Yep, running into a wall hurts every time.

He looks over towards the balcony where Gallax-E is standing. A digital voice speaks up.

CompVoice: CANNON CHARGE, 62%.

Yoshi gets up, catching Gallax-E's eye.

Gallax-E: You know, I had hoped you would know when to stay down, but it seems that your more durable than I have given you credit for.

He turns to look at Yoshi as Yoshi shakes himself off.

Gallax-E: Then again, Star Children are notorious for such attributes. Tenacity, bravery, unwavering loyalty to their cause.

Yoshi charges Gallax-E, but he swiftly stops him with his powers.

Gallax-E: Foolishness...

He tosses Yoshi around.

Gallax-E: Gullibility...

He lifts Yoshi up high.

Gallax-E: Mortality...

He throws Yoshi against the wall again and pins him there.

Gallax-E: In the end, Star Children are merely exceptional in their abilities. They don't stand as much a threat to such beings as me.  
Yoshi: Then why were you even bothered in the first place?  
Gallax-E: Over qualities you clearly don't possess. They don't matter now.  
CompVoice: CANNON CHARGE, 64%.

Gallax-E looks over at the cannon as it begins to light up in other places. The energy from the main chamber begins flowing through some of the tubes into other chambers.

Gallax-E: And now for true demoralization.

While holding Yoshi in place, Gallax-E walks over to a wall panel and presses a single button: Media.

Gallax-E: Allow me to demonstrate the basic power of my Giga-Star Cannon.

A TV screen appears in front of Yoshi and flickers on, displaying Toad Town and Peach's Castle. The Toads are all wandering around peacefully, living their lives as normal. Yoshi's eyes go wide as he watches the scene before him unfold.

CompVoice: CANNON CHARGE, 66%.

* * *

The fight in the tower continues as the Mario and Wario Bros. begin combining their attacks!

Waluigi & Wario: BIG BANG BOMBER STORM!

A flurry of bombs are sent off towards Brobot L-Force! Mr. L triggers a pair of rapid-fire energy guns on the bottom of the machine to blast the oncoming bombs! The force of the explosion hurls Brobot L-Force up the tower and the group down the tower!

Mario & Luigi: DUAL TORNADO!

A spiraling drill of fire and lightning then swirls up through the tower, piercing the explosion and rising up towards Brobot L-Force! Mr. L triggers a massive energy cannon on Brobot, which fires a massive beam of energy down at them! The two forces collide, blowing out part of the tower!

Mr. L: It's useless to stop my perfect machine! You're finished!

-but the brothers' tornado pierces through the smoke!

Mr. L: WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE!

And the spiral rushes forth towards Brobot! Mr. L works to dodge, but he only moves enough to have the impact miss him! The twister tears through a good portion of Brobot L-Force's legs!

Mr. L: NO! MY PERFECTION!  
Waluigi: Not today, pal!

The Wario Brothers fly up and pair up with the Mario Brothers!

Mario & Wario: RAMPAGING INFERNO!  
Luigi & Waluigi: WEEGEE THUNDER BOMB!  
Brothers: RIVALING FAMILY COMBINATION!

Wario feeds on peppers and Mario's fireball as Luigi charges up Waluigi's bomb! Then Waluigi tosses the bomb in front of Wario who breathes out a fiery inferno to propel it down towards Mr. L!

Mr. L: This power...it's like that time in the Dark World...but ten thousand times greater...what is it...WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES IT SO GREAT?!

The bomb connects directly with Brobot L-Force, creating a massive explosion! The force propels the brothers up high into the tower until they reach a new platform far above the one they were on before. As the force fades, the group lands on this new platform, tired and exhausted. Their power-ups fade away, and they take a moment to breathe.

Waluigi: How do people walk away from explosions anyway?  
Luigi: I don't think now's the time for that.  
Wario: Hang on.

Wario leans a little and lets out a huge fart.

Wario: OH MAN, I've been holding that one in for a while.  
Mario: Seriously?  
Wario: What? It was tense!

The brothers then laugh for a bit. Until-

Mr. L: It's...not over...yet!

The remnants of Brobot L-Force and indeed of Mr. L climb up, shoddy and nearly torn apart. Half of Mr. L's face is almost completely burned off!

Mr. L: I won't lose...to the likes...of...ugh, what's that smell?  
Wario: Sorry.  
Mr. L: Ruining a dramatic moment with...THAT?!  
Wario: What can I say? It happens.

Mario lights a fireball and sets it near Wario's butt. Wario then leans and lets loose a fiery fart at Mr. L!

Mr. L: THIS HUMILIATION WILL NOT STAND!

Suddenly out of the wall, a TV screen appears in front of the group.

Mr. L: Could it be? The master's plan is successful?  
Mario: What's this?

The screen turns on, revealing the denizens of Toad Town and Peach's Castle as Mr. L begins to laugh heartily, coughing over his singed mustache...

* * *

The fight in the hallway continues as Mac survives the onslaught of clones only to be met with their real counterparts!

Bowser: Alright, time for plan Slam Jam!

Bowser, Birdo, and Gary combine their powers together! Birdo swallows Gary as Bowser retreats into his shell! He spins around as the Bowser Fortress while Birdo rides on top! Bowser charges at Mac!

Mac: ANALYSIS: TEAM ATTACK. DATA NOT FOUND. IMPROVISED ATTACK TO POTENTIAL DOOM.

Bowser slams into Mac, prompting Birdo to jump off! She lays and grabs an egg and dunks it onto Mac! The egg breaks open revealing Gary, who fires a beam of magical energy at Mac!

Bowser: Wow! I can't believe that worked!

Mac is disoriented and starts to whir around.

Mac: ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR IMPROVISED ATTACK HAS DDDDDONE SERIOUSS DAMAG3 SYSTEMSSSALFUNCTION ERROR ERROR ERRORRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr...

Mac's head spins around as he falls over onto the ground, shutting down.

Mac: rrrreeeboooooooooot ssssyyyysssteeeeeeemmmmmssssssssssssss...*beep*

The group high-fives each other.

Bowser: Oh yeah! We rule!  
Gary: I just hope the others are doing alright.

Suddenly out of the wall, a TV screen appears in front of the group.

Birdo: What's this?

The screen turns on, revealing the denizens of Toad Town and Peach's Castle as the group turns their attention to this strange monitor...

* * *

The fight in the laboratory continues as Krillen is attacked on different sides by the combined efforts of the group!

CC & DK: BURN-BUSTER BLASTER!

DK shoots Crimson at Krillen, the former of whom spins around to create a flaming twister! Krillen's mutated tentacles attempt to stop it but are unable to stop the fiery furball from hitting Krillen in the eye!...one of the eyes!

KR: ARRRRGGHHHH!

Krillen attempts to snatch Crimson on the rebound, but Crimson dodges the trap and springs out!

Lucky: Ready Ghoulman?  
Ghoulman: AS. I. CAN. BE!

Lucky and Ghoulman combine their powers together! Ghoulman summons several Pink Boos and inhales all of them as Lucky transforms with the Breakfast Medallion into a buffer version of himself! Lucky then grabs Ghoulman and leaps at Krillen, stuffing Ghoulman into Krillen's body with the help of Ghoulman's transparency! Lucky then starts wailing on Krillen's belly!

Lucky: This one's for the Breakfast Brigade!

With a massive wind-up, Lucky heavily punches Krillen's belly, causing him to hurl Ghoulman up, who then rapid-fires all of the Pink Boos at Krillen!

Lucky: No one beats the Haunting Barrage.  
Ghoulman: NICE. NAME!

Krillen falls over onto the floor, breathing heavily.

KR: This...just...can't...be...I made this...to have power...to defeat you...

Krillen vomits a bit of the liquid back up, slowing transforming back into his original form.

KR: Why...can't...you...die...

Krillen's transformation finally ends as he collapses onto the floor in agony. Suddenly out of the wall, a TV screen appears in front of the group.

DK: What the heck?  
CC: I don't like the looks of this.

The screen turns on, revealing the denizens of Toad Town and Peach's Castle as Krillen begins to chuckle and open a floor panel...

* * *

Toad Town. The residents are all wandering around, living their lives as normal. They have no idea of the battle raging in the skies above, nor are they aware of the apocalyptic mayhem that is to descend on them at any moment. One little Toad wanders into his home, makes a nice sandwich, sits down on his favorite chair, and pulls out a book to read. There's no reason not to, after all.

This is the end of the world.

* * *

The princesses are in the same position as the rest of the heroes, gazing from their prison the same kind of TV screen, featuring the same Toad Town and the same castle, with all the same Toads living out their same lives. The princesses know what's to happen, they've been told this would come. Daisy turns and looks away as Peach watches on.

This is the end of the world.

* * *

CompVoice: CANNON CHARGE: 99%

The Giga-Star Cannon is almost entirely illuminated by Star Power. Near the open barrel are four spindly appendages, charging up the orb of pure energy in front of the barrel with their own strings of energy, controlling its size.

From the inside of the throne room, Yoshi is powerless to do anything but watch. Gallax-E turns to him.

Gallax-E: Are you ready? This will only be the beginning.  
CompVoice: CANNON CHARGE: 100%.  
Gallax-E: Fire when ready.  
CompVoice: COMMENCING GIGA-STAR CANNON BLAST. TARGET LOCKED: MUSHROOM KINGDOM.

The cannon repositions itself slightly then charges up the energy ball some more. Finally, an overload of energy explodes downward, creating a tremendous beam of light. The light travels downward through the clouds, parting them from its destructive blaze.

The Toads begin to look up at the sky. They see the great light descending upon them. Some panic. Some flee. Some are unaware entirely of the danger until someone lets them know. But it's already too late.

The TV screens all show the same thing to their horrified heroes: one moment, the residents of Toad Town and Peach's Castle all in panic, then a flash of light.

And then nothing. Nothing but destruction.

This is the end of the world.

* * *

The cannon's blast ends, following with a quick recharge. The cannon quickly illuminates again, ready for use again. Not that there needs to be an immediate use for it. Gallax-E looks towards the cannon.

Gallax-E: Excellent.

Torn with anguish over the destruction of his homeland, Yoshi struggles to break free from Gallax-E's grasp. With the slightly distracted Gallax-E not paying as much attention on his hold, Yoshi manages to break free! He charges Gallax-E just as the latter turns his attention back to him!

Yoshi: YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!

Yoshi lands a fierce blow against Gallax-E, sending him flying across the room and into a wall! Gallax-E is stunned for a moment but peels himself off the wall just as Yoshi charges his Gauntlet and runs at him!

Gallax-E: Enough.

Gallax-E raises his hand and stops Yoshi in his tracks! With his free hand, Gallax-E points towards a spot next to Yoshi, opening up a rift in the empty space!

Gallax-E: You have potential. I have no time for potential.

He throws Yoshi into the rift! Yoshi watches as the room around him slowly disappears into the darkness of the portal! Just as Yoshi floats through the rift, it closes behind him leaving no trace of its existence. Gallax-E stands up straight and checks on his face. A few flecks of blackened dust appear on his hands. He looks up again at the spot where Yoshi disappeared and flicks the dust off. Then he turns back to the balcony and walks out onto it.

Gallax-E: Now for phase two...

* * *

The rest of the heroes are broken. Krillen binds his group with dark chains with the button he triggered, Mr. L wraps up his group in a similar manner, and after rebooting its systems, Mac secures his group as well. They then walk their new prisoners towards the castle's throne room as the castle lifts off.

The castle itself rests on top of a large plot of floating land, a decrepit fortress with a solitary dead tree on its outskirts. One of the castle towers has nearly collapsed from the climactic battle within. The castle rises up into the sky until it breaks through the atmosphere and flies off into space, a magical barrier being partially visible around the entirety of it. The cannon flies up alongside the castle as it travels through space.

The heroes and villains arrive in the throne room, finally introduced to Gallax-E in most cases and simply a renewed acquaintance in others. Gallax-E doesn't acknowledge their presence, looking outwards into space instead.

Mr. L: Master, we've captured the heroes.  
KR: It's just as you had planned, sir.

Gallax-E turns to look at the group.

Gallax-E: Indeed.

He walks up to Wario and touches his forehead. Wario then remembers all of what he had been told before being released and rescued.

Wario: You're Gallax-E!  
Mario: Who?  
Wario: He's been planning to take the Power Stars this entire time!  
Bowser: Wait, really? Like, since the beginning?!  
Wario: He planned on betraying Bowser, gathering allies, even around our attack on his castle! He knew!  
Lucky: Well that seems a little farfetched. You make it seem like-  
Wario: He's the guy in charge of our world!  
Lucky:...wow. I wasn't even close.  
Gallax-E: Indeed.

Gallax-E walked back to the balcony to resume looking up at the stars.

Gary: Wait, so Wario knew this entire time? And he didn't tell us?  
Wario: I didn't even remember it until just now!  
Waluigi: So we could've known everything.

The heroes go rather quiet.

Gallax-E: Have you ever wanted to change the world?

Everyone looks over at Gallax-E, who continues to look up into the stars.

Gallax-E: Perhaps you've wanted to make it so there was no illness, or maybe you've wanted to rule over it all with an iron fist. You've wanted to protect it or destroy it. Become its guardian or its rapture.

Gallax-E turns back to the group.

Gallax-E: I have plans, you see. Plans that have been in progress since the dawn of your time and even before then. Some might say this was all predestined, determined to occur at the very start. But I don't believe in such things. I believe in a natural order that must be undone. I believe in a world beyond this one that must be conquered. I believe in a plan that is well executed, well done, and will lead to my ultimate goal.

The castle begins to slow down as the cannon rises up in front of the balcony. Gallax-E turns and rises up to see above the cannon and into space.

Gallax-E: And I believe we're exactly where we need to be. Fire when ready.

The cannon charges up again and blasts a stellar beam out into space. It doesn't appear to hit anything until a distant burst of star energy occurs. The energy then begins to trace out what appears to be a giant set of cosmic doors. Gallax-E seems to smile.

Gallax-E: Right where we need to be.

* * *

Yoshi opens his eyes, only to find there's nothing in front of him. He stands up and looks around to see only nothing. He triggers the power of Fiery Chaos in the Gauntlet in order to help aid him see, but he is merely enveloped in a sphere of orange light. The darkness does not seem to change at all.

Yoshi: Where am I?

Yoshi begins to roam around the void, searching for some sort of indication that he can get out.

Yoshi: Dammit, if I end up stuck in here for the rest of my-*oof*

Yoshi slams against something and falls back. He looks up but sees nothing but darkness. He stands up and reaches out to the darkness. Then his hand presses up against something.

Yoshi: There's...a wall?

He holds up his light near this strange barrier, but the light doesn't change form.

Yoshi: Not a solid wall...maybe it's the end of the void?

Yoshi hits the barrier with his bare hand! And...nothing happens.

Yoshi: YOWCH!

Yoshi waves his hand around.

Yoshi: Okay, punching voids may not be the best idea. Maybe I should work more with the Gauntlet.

Yoshi pulls back and lands a solid punch on the barrier! And...nothing happens.

Yoshi: Figures...well, I've got nothing better to do.

Yoshi continues to punch the barrier with the Gauntlet, working hard to escape the only way he thinks he can...

* * *

At last, the star power has outlined a gargantuan set of double doors in space. They are at least ten times larger than the castle itself. Everyone is looking out into space from the balcony at this phenomenal spectacle.

Bowser: Doors...in space...  
Gary: I would never have imagined the Power Stars could do anything like this.

Gallax-E simply watches on as the doors begin to open inward towards an apparent void. The castle sails through towards this colossal void as the doors continue to open further. Inside, there appears to be nothing.

Gallax-E: First, there was nothing. Then there was light.

And just like that, mystical stardust begins floating around the void. It gathers up and begins to form a bright humanoid being of a size rivaling the doors. Gallax-E raises his hand and dissolves the entire roof and nearly half of the walls of his castle, giving its occupants a greater view of the spectacle before them.

Mr. L: Is this what the master spoke of?  
KR: It's far more glorious than I could ever have imagined...  
Wario: Preeeettyyyyyy...  
Waluigi: Shiiiiiinyyyyyy...

The swirling stardust continues to form until at last the being before the group forms into a solid shape. It appears to be a humanoid with thousands upon thousands of stars and galaxies swirling through its ethereal form.

Gallax-E: At last we see each other again, Father.  
Waluigi: WHAT?! THAT THING'S YOUR DAD?!

Gallax-E moves a swift hand and silences Waluigi.

?: Gallax-E. I expected you would show yourself before me again.  
Gallax-E: Then you know of what is to come.  
?: I know many things, Gallax-E. Even you know that I can't be deceived. Your presence merely serves to work into the inevitable destiny that binds us together.  
Gallax-E: You know I don't believe in such things.  
?: You won't be able to defy destiny. There is one who will come to overturn your plans.  
Gallax-E: You told me that it would be one of the Star Children.

He turns to the group and indicates them.

Gallax-E: Perhaps you will tell me which one of them it is.

The being examines the group before him, noting their appearance. The group simply stares back in awe. Not one of them had ever encountered a being of this size and magnitude.

?: I don't see the one here.  
Gallax-E: Then he must be the banished one.  
?: Banished?  
Gallax-E: He will never return to this world.  
?:...I see.

The being reaches down with a colossal hand and nudges Gallax-E.

?: Are you certain you wish to continue though? You have calculated this down to the last moment. You have certainly shown that this would be your victory. But do you believe that you are done? Do you believe that this is the victory you have sought?

Gallax-E looks down as the being continues to nudge him.

?: You are still my son. I will not destroy you to prevent the foretold future.  
Gallax-E: I understand.

Gallax-E looks up at the being intently.

Gallax-E: I've already considered the consequences.

He raises a hand up to the being as though to offer a hand shake. The being seems to lighten up.

Gallax-E: But this victory is wholly mine.

Gallax-E plunges his hand into one of the being's fingers! The being doesn't move, doesn't flinch, doesn't seem to feel anything as its finger begins to fade into darkness...

* * *

CRACK

Yoshi looks up at this odd sound. For a while, the barrier has only responded to his punches with a dull thud. But this time, there was a crack. Yoshi examines the barely visible crack until he notices the Gauntlet was glowing partially around his finger.

Yoshi: What the heck?  
?:...y...i...

Yoshi looks around him. There is nothing but darkness. He shrugs it off and punches at the crack again.

CRACK

A small crack is now slightly more visible. And the glowing on his Gauntlet has spread a bit. Yoshi examines this glowing oddity to see something spectacular: a group of stars inside the glow.

Yoshi: What is going on?  
?:...yo...sh...

Yoshi looks around again.

Yoshi: And what's with that voice?  
?:...yoshi...  
Yoshi: Who's there?!  
?:...I am...one...  
Yoshi: What?  
?:...listen...carefully...

The glowing spreads around the Gauntlet a little more as time passes and Yoshi keeps his ears open.

?:...power...weak...giving it...so you can...free...  
Yoshi: What are you saying?  
?:...last hope...the Universe...  
Yoshi: What...

Yoshi is slowly piecing the broken statements together as the Gauntlet fist is encased in a glowing celestial light. Yoshi looks down and raises his fist in front of him to examine this oddity.

Yoshi: This...this power...  
?: It is my own...

Yoshi suddenly sees a humanoid being inside his fist.

Yoshi: Who are you?  
?: I am the Universe.  
Yoshi: The Universe?  
Universe: The being in which your world resides...  
Yoshi: Whoa...  
Universe: Hehe, it is a bit daunting, isn't it?  
Yoshi: How are you here though?  
Universe: I am being consumed by Gallax-E's powers, and soon I will be no more.  
Yoshi: What?!  
Universe: It was his plan the entire time. The Power Stars of your world, capturing the Star Children, banishing you, gathering allies, the cannon - all of it was so he could journey to my realm and overthrow my rule.  
Yoshi: That's...wow...  
Universe: I can understand if you need a moment to come to terms with-  
Yoshi: No no, I'm...just...wow...  
Universe: I'm not surprised.  
Yoshi: But those strange events. The cameos, the references, the author - we have an author!  
Universe: All just a small part of who I am.  
Yoshi: You mean...this story is-  
Universe: The story of me, and the story of you. It's the story of all of us.  
Yoshi:...  
Universe: You and all of what you know is just part of who I am. Each person in turn makes up another part of me, as does every event, every landmark, every planetoid and asteroid and galaxy - I am all, and I am one.  
Yoshi: And I am you.  
Universe: And I am you.

Yoshi continues to stare into the glow, amazed.

Universe: Staring into the face of God is amazing, isn't it?  
Yoshi: Are you God?  
Universe: In some sense, I am. In another sense, I'm not. I am who I am, and there's little to change that. But now is probably not the best time to become acquainted with me. My son is about to take over my body, and so-  
Yoshi: Wait, Gallax-E is your son?!  
Universe: Fifth of twenty-six.  
Yoshi: What?  
Universe: I've had twenty-six children.  
Yoshi:...how does that-  
Universe: Now's probably not the best time.  
Yoshi: Right, sorry.  
Universe: We're gonna need to get you out of here. You are the only one who can defeat Gallax-E at this point.  
Yoshi: And you're lending me your power so I can break out of here?  
Universe: That's the idea.  
Yoshi: Well then, guess I've got nothing left to lose!  
Universe: Neither do I...well, except the rest of my body, but that's not important.

Yoshi, now with his arm glowing, delivers a blow against the crack in the void, causing it to break a little more...

* * *

The heroes and villains stand and watch as Gallax-E slowly consumes the great being before them in darkness. Its entire arm is now covered in darkness, slowly seeping into its torso.

Birdo: This is it, isn't it? This is how it ends?  
Mr. L: Cheer up, it could be worse.  
Luigi: Please feel free to explain how.  
Mr. L: That could be me taking over the Universe.  
Luigi:...I don't see how that could be necessarily worse.  
Mr. L: I'd probably just wreck the place.

Something off to the side catches Mario's eye. He sees...a crack? But it doesn't appear to be on anything. In fact, it looks like it's just coming from mid-air.

Mario: *whispering* Hey, CC.  
CC: *whispering* What's up?  
Mario: Do you see that?

Crimson looks at where Mario is indicating.

CC: What is that?  
Mario: I don't know.  
CC: You don't think it's a side effect of Gallax-E's taking over the Universe, do you?  
Mario: I'm not sure what to think of it.  
KR: Oi! Pipe down!

Mario and CC are both rapped on the head with Krillen's cane. It seems the other villains haven't noticed the crack at all. They seem to be oblivious to its presence. But Mario's gut tells him that-

Gallax-E: Seal them up.  
KR: Alrighty then!

The group's thoughts are interrupted as Krillen summons up several orange-tinted transparent orbs of magic. He then starts dividing up the orbs and imprisoning the captured heroes into each of them. The heroes' chains dissolve as they enter into the bubbles, but they find that they can't break out of them at all. Mario attempts punching through one as Bowser breathes fire on his own, but none of them work.

KR: I think that's much easier to deal with than holding them by the hand.  
Mr. L: I'll have to agree with you on that, although I should think holding them by the hand wouldn't be so bad.  
KR: Eh? What do you mean?  
Mr. L: Well, say you're holding them by their throat by the hand.  
KR:...I don't think that phrase means what you think it means.  
Mr. L: Eh, I guess my brain's a little melted after all that fire.  
KR: Is that what happened to your face?  
Mr. L: Sadly yes, but I believe that once the master has taken over the Universe, he'll be able to fix my face no problem.  
KR: That'd be nice. I think I've got some nasty side effects from that mutating liquid I had earlier.  
Mr. L: Like what?  
KR: Well mostly it's the-

Suddenly a large tentacle shoots out of Krillen's mouth and snaps in the air before disappearing back into his mouth.

KR:...hehe, demons.  
Mr. L: You should've asked me to build you a machine. Complete loyalty with no supernatural side effects.  
KR: But demons provide the raw power and energy that is sometimes necessary to eliminate one's enemies!  
Mr. L: Look, magical forces are nice and all, I won't argue with that. I mean, look at M.A.C.E. here. These crystals were harvested specifically for their magical properties in regards to the elements, but the science behind it is what makes them useful.  
KR: I could just as easily have utilized a spell to make them work just as well.  
Mr. L: The cold hand of science will always triumph.  
KR: And the powers of the dark side are undeniable.

A tense pause.

Mr. L: That's why I like you so much!  
KR: Oh, pish posh. Now you're just flattering me.  
Mr. L: You're right, I am.  
KR: You just know how to say all the right things, don't you?  
Mr. L: Of course! Scientifically proven.  
KR: Ohhhhhh~

The two villains share an uncharacteristic hug.

KR: I'm going to enjoy ruling my own world with you.  
Mr. L: As will I, mine, with you.  
KR: Can you imagine it? A world where...did you hear that?  
Mr. L: Unmistakably so. It sounded like some sort of cracking sound...  
KR: Odd, I didn't think the castle would still be crumbling.  
Mr. L: Mac, could you do me a favor and run a quick scan of the nearby area?  
Mac: SCANNING...

The villains wait for Mac to finish sweeping the area.

Mac: SCANNING COMPLETE.  
Mr. L: And?  
Mac: ANOMALY DETECTED.  
Mr. L: You mean aside from Gallax-E taking over the Universe.  
Mac: ANOMALY DETECTED WITHIN FIFTEEN FEET.  
KR: Well that's not very far from us at all.  
Mr. L: Yes. I should think it'd be about-

CRASH

Out of nowhere, a bright glowing figure crashes through a break in reality on the scene! It lands in front of the villains, dazzling them and the heroes with its stellar radiance! Gallax-E looks over his shoulder to see what the commotion is all about.

Gallax-E: That can't be...

Sure enough, Yoshi has in fact reappeared in this dimension! Most of his body is radiating in celestial light, comparable to what little remains of the Universe's host body. Yoshi looks over at Mac, Mr. L, and Krillen.

Mr. L: Mac! Get him!

The robot charges Yoshi but is suddenly smashed just before he reaches him. Yoshi doesn't appear to move at all as Mac falls apart into pieces.

Mac: Er-puterized-hologenic-80085-rormatic-skin toonnnneeeee...

Mac is now completely destroyed! Mr. L and Krillen stand in shock and awe!

Mr. L: What...what is this?!

Yoshi then quickly charges at Krillen, striking at Krillen with his palm but stopping just before he makes contact! At first, nothing appears to have happened. Then-

KR: ACK...

Krillen feels the sudden impact of an intense force! He goes flying over towards the wall, crashing into it and even through it as the wall is demolished upon his impact! He lies sprawled out on the hallway floor, a spittle of mutated blood oozing out of his mouth, his eyes rolled back into his head.

Mr. L: You killed him...

Mr. L turns and blocks with his pata against Yoshi's next sudden charge! The electrified current in the pata seem to cancel out the gravity pulse as Yoshi is held back from his full strike! Mr. L is overwhelmed and astonished!

Mr. L: What power...where did you get this?  
Yoshi: From beyond.

Mr. L grimaces and angrily stabs at Yoshi with a pata! Yoshi blocks it with his bare hand, disintegrating the blade and catching the fist behind it! He then karate chops the captured arm clean off!

Mr. L: ARRRRRGHHHHHHH!

Mr. L howls with pain and stumbles back, clutching his arm as Yoshi raises a finger and zaps a beam at the other pata. The beam completely disintegrates the weapon, leaving Mr. L defenseless! Yoshi then charges an orb of energy in his hand as Mr. L watches in disbelief.

Mr. L: This...this power...

He continues to look at it as the orb gets bigger and bigger until it's the same size as Yoshi! Yoshi then fires the energy at Mr. L in a huge beam! Mr. L simply stares back into it and even reaches out towards it.

Mr. L: This is...my perfection...

FWOOSH

The beam passes through Mr. L entirely, disintegrating him into nothingness! The heroes watch on from their orbs, stunned.

Waluigi: Did he just beat them all?  
Bowser: Where did he even get that kind of power?!  
Birdo: Oh my...  
Mario: You don't think that's...  
Gary: It's gotta be! The Universe is giving Yoshi its power!  
CC: He's going to fight back!

The heroes then shout out cheers of hope as Yoshi is completely enveloped in celestial light! The cheers slowly die down though as Yoshi turns to the one person not cheering but laughing: Gallax-E.

Gallax-E: You know what this means, don't you?

Gallax-E turns to Yoshi.

Gallax-E: My father was smart to entrust his power to you, the last Star Child available to him, the Chosen Warrior.  
Yoshi: It's over, Gallax-E! You can't rival the power of the Universe!  
Gallax-E: WRONG! I AM THE UNIVERSE!

Gallax-E then rises into the air as Yoshi blasts at him with stellar beams! Yet Gallax-E deflects the beams of energy! Yoshi charges and leaps up after Gallax-E to try and grab him, jumping high enough to be on level with him! But Gallax-E backhands him down to the castle ground!

Gallax-E: I'm empowered with the Stars themselves! I am the force that's driven your world for eons! I am the greatness that existed before you were even conceived!

Gallax-E then flies back into the corrupted host body of the Universe, delving into it and beginning to merge with it.

Gallax-E: And now, I am the power over all of creation...

Gallax-E melds into the body, which recoils in pain. Then the limbs, lower body, and head all sink into the torso, which then sinks into a single organ: a beating blackened heart. The heart beats for a couple of seconds before sinking into a spherical orb.

And then, a large blackened hand emerges from the sphere. It is a massive version of Gallax-E's own hand, reaching out into the void to grasp nothing before slowly beginning to sink in. Then another hand bursts out from the sphere, reaching out into the void in a similarly manner before sinking back in with its other half. Then suddenly both hands reach out and bring with them their own arms, looming now over the entire castle as a dark robe drifts down into the void. The robe is illuminated by the darkness, the cosmos now reflected dimly in its pattern. Then finally Gallax-E's head emerges from the chest of this new body, lifting itself on top of his now prominent shoulders as he breathes in the first breath of his new life.

His new life as the Universe.

Gallax-E looks down at the imprisoned heroes and the glowing Yoshi. And he smiles, a bright, starry, sinister smile. He reaches down towards Yoshi with both of his hands and then-

CLAP

(July 31, 2013 - August 1, 2013)


	24. Ch 23: The End

Chapter 23: The End

Yoshi opens his eyes to find himself in a void reminiscent of where he was trapped previously. He need not look around this time, though, as his gaze is locked onto the form of the Universe.

Universe: Yoshi, I have given unto you the last of my power that you may fight my son, Gallax-E, and defeat him.  
Yoshi: But he's taken over your body! He has all the power you had before!  
Universe: This may be true, but he is not meant to keep it.  
Yoshi: And when I do destroy him...won't I destroy you too?  
Universe: That too was meant to be. I was always meant to be destroyed.  
Yoshi: But there's no way I could go through with that! If you're the universe itself, then...  
Universe: Then the universe that you know will be destroyed. That is true.  
Yoshi: I don't think I can do it.  
Universe: I didn't think I could do it either, yet here I am today.  
Yoshi: But you've been here since the beginning of the universe!  
Universe: This universe, yes.  
Yoshi: Are you saying...are you saying that there was a universe before ours?

The Universe nods it head and slowly begins to shed its galactic layers. The body morphs and changes into a smaller form. Yoshi watches in awe as the Universe reveals its true form: a Yoshi.

Universe: You see, Yoshi, it was not so long ago in my time that the one known as the Universe before me asked of me the same as I do you now. Our species has for a long time repeated the creation, destruction, and rebirth of the known universe. Upon his death, I took the place of the one known as the Universe before me and laid the Cosmic Egg, which hatched and became the universe as you know it.

From this Cosmic Egg appeared my many children, of which I brought forth twenty-six. They in turn became the creators of the many stars and nebulas that would make up your universe, for as the universe consists of many galaxies, so too are galaxies made up of many stars. And just as I had twenty-six children, those children had many more children.

In your galaxy in particular, there were only seven such children. You may know them as the Seven Star Children: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Donkey Kong, Wario, Bowser, and you, Yoshi.

Yoshi: Me?  
Universe: Yes. And curiously enough, you are the one Star Child born this way, born to take over once I'm gone.  
Yoshi: I don't understand.  
Universe: Neither did I. When I was approached, I was terrified with the thought. I did not think I could carry the burden of knowing that an entire universe was wiped out because of me. Yet it was my universe, and if it were not for me, the universe as you know it would never have been.

You see, there's always a single child born into the universe that will come at a time when the universe will be in great peril and threatened with an apocalyptic demise. It is at that time when the one who created that universe must approach the child and prepare them to bring forth the next universe. It is that child's destiny to end their universe and recreate a new one.

Yoshi:...that's...unreal.  
Universe: You're surprised?  
Yoshi: After all we've been through?  
Universe: *chuckles* I suppose not. All the same, Yoshi, you are the one to take upon yourself the same burden I once took upon my shoulders once. After that moment, you will take over my place as the Universe.  
Yoshi:...you say we've been doing this for a long time.  
Universe: Oh yes, there have been many generations and many cycles in the universe. Many times before has the universe been created, destroyed, and reborn, and many times after will the universe be created, destroyed, and reborn. It's the inevitable cycle that occurs.  
Yoshi:...what if I could find a way to save you?  
Universe: There really is no need. I have already come to terms with my end. I've had a long time to do just that. I knew someday I would need to die.  
Yoshi: But what if I found a way to save you?  
Universe: I would say you risk a great deal trying to save me. Gallax-E has taken over my body, and once he merged with it, I became nothing more than what little of myself remains in you. You wouldn't be able to save me.  
Yoshi:...so I have to do this?  
Universe: The universe either ends on your terms or not.

Yoshi thinks about this for a moment, then he nods in understanding.

Back on the battlefield, an astonishing change has occurred! Yoshi has transformed into a glittering galactic version of himself, complete with angelic wings that stretch across the vast heavens and the Gauntlet of Elemental Fury reborn as the Gauntlet of Divine Cosmos!

Gallax-E: So my father has given his power to you...interesting. But that only makes you as much a god as me.

The castle falls apart, and Gallax-E transports Yoshi and the others to a new platform, set deep within the cosmos and surrounded by galaxies.

Gallax-E: A stage set for a battle amongst gods. Amuse me, and we shall see who between us should make the new universe: you, who are using an apocalyptic power to save your world, or myself, who has usurped my father and given rise to the new Universe.

**FINAL BATTLE**

Cosmic Yoshi: 1,000,000,000 HP; 1,000,000 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 1,000,000,000 HP; 1,000,000 SP

Gallax-E reaches out to one of the surrounding galaxies and hurls it at Yoshi! Yoshi blocks it with the Gauntlet of Divine Cosmos, shattering it in his hand! Yoshi takes 211,685 dge then rises up into the air and fires a stellar blast at Gallax-E for 999 SP! Gallax-E blocks it with one of his own hands but takes 330,136 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 999,788,315 HP; 999,001 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 999,669,864 HP; 1,000,000 SP

Gallax-E twists the dimensions for 1,746 SP! He causes a warp to ripple across reality towards Yoshi! Yoshi takes 673,210 dge! Yoshi warps across the field and pierces a star, warping it with him! He pierces several stars together in this manner, maintaining their power with 1,489 SP! He then warps in front of Gallax-E, who grabs him in his other hand! Yoshi explodes the stars in his hand, inflicting 804,540 dge to Gallax-E!

Cosmic Yoshi: 999,115,105 HP; 997,512 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 998,865,324 HP; 998,254 SP

Gallax-E summons up several large planets around him for 874 SP! He hurls them at Yoshi, colliding them in a few cases to create asteroids! Yoshi is pelted with the massive space rocks and crunched between a couple, taking 1,314,988 dge! Yoshi absorbs a nebula into his gauntlet and fires off a cosmic beam for 2,273 SP! Gallax-E blocks against the beam with both of his hands, taking 1,959,942 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 997,800,117 HP; 995,239 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 996,905,382 HP; 997,380 SP

Bowser: Do you think he can do it?

The other heroes look over at Bowser.

Bowser: Can he really beat a force as strong as the universe itself?  
CC: *chuckles* He's as strong as the universe already. He'll win.

Gallax-E summons up a massive black hole for 4765 SP! The black hole sucks up several of the surrounding galaxies, then fires off a galactic beam rivaling the force of a thousand supernovas! Yoshi summons a celestial shield to guard against the attack for 8324 SP! The shield absorbs most of the damage but breaks at the last second and hits Yoshi for 603486 dge! Yoshi is drained from the shield break!

Cosmic Yoshi: 997,196,631 HP; 986,915 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 996,905,382 HP; 992,615 SP

Gallax-E punches at Yoshi with a hand, infusing it with cosmic power for 432 SP! Yoshi takes the brunt of the attack, taking 1,758,040 dge from it! Yoshi reverses the energy in the attack and charges up an even stronger stellar beam for 9,999 SP, firing it at Gallax-E! Gallax-E takes the beam directly in his chest, taking 7,625,737 dge from it!

Cosmic Yoshi: 995,438,591 HP; 976,916 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 989,279,645 HP; 992,183 SP

Gallax-E: I'll admit that with my father's power, you're putting up a greater fight than I would have anticipated. But you'll falter soon enough, and then the new world will be mine.

Gallax-E claps his hands together and creates a sonic wave that rips through space for 2,312 SP! The wave breaks apart a couple of galaxies as it hurtles towards Yoshi, dealing 7,868,442 dge! Yoshi charges up energy in each of his hands and combines them for 2,841 SP! He brings out the cosmic force of a quasar and fires off the energy in an intensified laser! Gallax-E takes 10,332,670 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 987,570,149 HP; 974,075 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 978,946,975 HP; 989,871 SP

Gallax-E combines two galaxies together and crushes them into a meteor of cosmic energy for 3,121 SP! He hurls the meteor around the arena, breaking apart all kinds of cosmic phenomena and eventually hurling it at Yoshi! Yoshi takes 14,541,488 dge! Yoshi gathers the stardust from across the shattered galaxies and mixes it together for 1,536 SP! He unleashes several small asteroids that surround Gallax-E and fire off at him, hitting him rapidly for 7,078,499 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 973,028,661 HP; 972,539 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 971,868,476 HP; 986,750 SP

Gallax-E gathers the orbs with the other heroes in them!

Bowser: Whoa wait a minute! Let's talk about this for a minute!  
Waluigi: I'm with Bowser, please don't use us!

Gallax-E juggles them about and charges them with electricity for 1,391 SP! He then hurls them at different parts of the universe! Yoshi dashes across to them and retrieves them, taking 3,224,606 dge from the electricity! He returns with them to the battlefield!

Mario: You really shouldn't worry about us.  
Yoshi: And what, let you guys fly into a stray sun or black hole?  
Mario: Fair enough.

Yoshi charges the Gauntlet of Divine Cosmos with power for 7,768 SP! He unleashes the Sword of the Divine Cosmos! He strikes at Gallax-E, dealing 3,508,719 dge to him! Yoshi swings around and strikes at Gallax-E again for 5,809,416 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 969,804,055 HP; 964,771 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 962,550,341 HP; 985,359 SP

Gallax-E: Perhaps it's time to cease this foolishness.

Gallax-E generates a destructive hole of Void for 11,109 SP! The Void swallows up several different cosmic phenomena, along with Yoshi! Yoshi takes 11,691,562 dge but breaks through the Void with the Sword of the Divine Cosmos! Yoshi uses up 7,289 SP to maintain the Sword, striking at Gallax-E for 7,326,997 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 958,112,493 HP; 957,482 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 955,223,344 HP; 974,250 SP

Gallax-E maintains the Void for 3,789 SP and summons several black holes for 8,326 SP! Yoshi is sucked into the black holes and tossed about the universe, ending up in the Void! Yoshi takes 67,128,602 dge before breaking from the Void, only to be pelted with energy from the dispersing black holes and taking an additional 22,340,729 dge! The Sword of the Divine Cosmos breaks apart!

Gallax-E: You are outclassed, Star Child. Prepare for the end.  
Yoshi: I'm not done yet!

Yoshi gathers a bunch of energy from the surrounding cosmos for half of his SP! Then he unleashes a Big Bang, wiping out the opening in the Void and creating a plethora of new galaxies! The explosive force hits Gallax-E for 290,093,590 dge!

Cosmic Yoshi: 868,643,162 HP; 478,741 SP

Universal Gallax-E: 665,129,754 HP; 962,135 SP

Gallax-E: Impressive. Perhaps it's time to end this foolishness.

Gallax-E lunges at Yoshi as Yoshi charges forth! The two celestial beings punch at each other and collide into a cosmic burst! Yoshi is thrown back across space after the impact, being significantly smaller than Gallax-E's fist!

Gallax-E: Your end is nigh, as is this old universe. My reign shall be eternal, my rule absolute. I shall have dominion over all living things, and I shall make you an example of what happens to those who interfere.  
Yoshi: I'm not done yet!

Yoshi releases a spectral projection of himself so he becomes the same size as Gallax-E! The two beings then throw punches at each other, colliding without any guard whatsoever! As they do, streaks and cracks of a pure white begin to break out across the space!

CC: What's happening?!  
Gary: The collision of their powers must be so intense that they're tearing the universe apart! It's breaking up!

The two continue to throw punches, with bits of each one flying off and breaking up! The damage is incalculable! They finally grapple each other and slam their heads together, opening up a large void in between them! The mouths of the giants open up, unleashing their smaller forms at each other! Yoshi and Gallax-E collide with each other, engaging in their own hand-to-hand combat! Their movements mimic the giants beyond them as they begin to plummet into the void!

Waluigi: YOSHI!

Yoshi and Gallax-E throw punch after punch with unrelenting force, the giants fighting as well! The blows continue to devastate the universe as it rips apart!

Gallax-E: Why? Why do you persist?! Why do you still fight?! I've taken away everything from you! Your world, your friends - there's nothing left to fight for! So why do you still fight?!  
Yoshi: Isn't it obvious?! I'm fighting for the future!  
Gallax-E: What?!  
Yoshi: The next world shouldn't be ruled by a being of darkness like you! It shouldn't be ruled at all! I fight for its future and its freedom!

Yoshi then lands a devastating blow against Gallax-E's head, shattering the armor around it! At the same time, the giant Yoshi punches the giant Gallax-E's head, causing it to shatter apart into stardust! Yoshi looks on as Gallax-E's face shines brightly and is revealed to be-

Yoshi: A star?

Sure enough, what appears to be a Power Star remains in place of Gallax-E's head! Yoshi watches as the Star's appearance drains into a blackened form with angry red eyes as though it were a Ztar! Gallax-E then charges at Yoshi roaring in an unknown voice! Yoshi dodges the strike, grabs Gallax-E, and hurls him towards the void in space!

Universe: Go now, Yoshi.

Yoshi nods and flies high as Gallax-E plummets into the void, screeching the entire way as the gravity sucks him in! Yoshi flies out to the spectral body and disintegrates it, gathering its energy and hurtling towards the shattering and dying remains of Gallax-E's larger body! He flies into the heart and pierces through it, seemingly disappearing while doing so!

And then there was a burst of cosmic energy. And that energy fell into the heart, and the collapsing universe fell into the heart, and the rest of the heroes fell into the heart!

Waluigi: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!  
Luigi: WE'RE NOT DEAD YET!  
Ghoulman: I. AM!  
Bowser: MOMMYYYY!

The entirety of the universe is absorbed into the heart! A beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. Then-

BOOM

* * *

Mario wakes up, lying in the midst of a field.

Mario: What the...

He sits up and looks around him. It appears that he's outside Peach's Castle! Everything surrounding the area appears to be perfectly normal. The birds chirping, the leaves rustling in the wind, the rabbits hopping around.

Mario: Mama-mia...

He holds his head and grumbles a bit over his stiffness.

Mario: I just had the craziest dream.  
?: Same here.

Mario looks over and sees Waluigi sitting up.

Mario: Waluigi? What are you doing here?  
Waluigi: Wah? I should ask you the same thing!  
?: Mario?

Mario turns and sees the Crimson Crusader along with Birdo, Donkey Kong, and Luigi.

DK: Wow, I didn't think I could get headaches this big!  
Mario: Was it a dream?  
Luigi: Well, there weren't any frog people that I remember. Or masks. Or keys. Or hundreds of Birdos.  
Birdo: Hey!  
?: Whoa whoa whoa, just hang on a second!

The group turns to see Bowser with Gary, Ghoulman, and Wario by his side. Lucky then pops up from behind.

Bowser: Just what happened? And why do I have such a headache?  
CC: The last thing I remember was being in space for some reason...

The entire group looks around at each other.

Mario: Where's Yoshi?  
?: Wherever he went.

The group turns to see a woman in pink and a woman in orange, both regal and well-dressed, slowly approaching.

Mario: Peach!  
Luigi: Daisy!  
Waluigi: Waluigi!  
Mario Bros:...  
Waluigi: What?

The group reunites with the princesses, embracing and in some cases *coughBowsercough* crying over it.

Bowser: I can't believe we're all still alive!  
Mario: But what happened?  
Peach: Well, as near as I can tell, Yoshi saved the universe.  
Luigi: Were you watching?  
Daisy: Please, like we'd be stranded in that dumb old castle without a front row seat to the action! I mean, did you see what he did? Whoosh! And then BAM! And then ka-POW! It was awesome!  
Peach: Needless to say, we were protected by Gallax-E's magic. It seems he wanted us to be apart of his new world order.  
Waluigi: What a tweest~  
Mario: So then... is Yoshi...  
Peach: Gone? I don't think so. I think he's taken on a greater destiny than any of us could have imagined.  
Gary: Of course, this is all just speculation, but given that Yoshi had the powers of the universe with him, I have a theory that Yoshi himself has become the universe, the one that we now preside in!  
Mario: That's...wow.  
Gary: I know! I wanna do more research into it to see if this holds true! I wonder if there's a cycle to it...  
Ghoulman: I. WILL. HELP. OUT!  
Birdo: But...but...but what about me?! Who's going to take me out to the movies now?!

Birdo cries rather oddly while the others look on, a bit concerned yet at the same time unsure of what to do.

Peach: Well, we're hosting a big celebration over at the castle. The rest of this world thinks it's just a normal party, but we'll call it a celebration. I made a cake and everything.  
Waluigi: WHOA WHOA WHOA, HOLD THE PHONE! We just risked our lives infiltrating a castle, defeating all the bad guys, getting sucked into a cosmic whirlpool of holy CRAP I don't even know WHAT, we lose our friend, and you expect that CAKE and PARTIES are gonna SOLVE THE WHOLE THING?!

A grim pause.

Waluigi:...works for me!

And everyone falls over.

CC: Well then, what are we waiting for?  
Lucky: Yes. Let's go.

The group begins to walk over when-

?: AHOY!

The group looks up into the sky to see a flying ship!

Lucky: No...it can't be...  
?: Lucky!

Lucky's eyes are filled with tears as he sees the entirety of the Breakfast Brigade restored, waving their hands at him.

Lucky: Everyone...they're alive...

Tears now stream freely down his eyes as the ship lands and the Brigade disembarks. Toucan Sam and his nephews, Chip the Wolf, Count Chocula, Buzz and Sonny and Tony and Snap, Crackle, Pop - even the Trix Rabbit is there! And last but not least-

Crunch: Hey there, Lucky.  
Lucky: Crunch...

The magical leprechaun runs over to his comrades, embracing them in a tearful reunion. And then-

?: I'm glad to see everyone's safe.

The group all looks up as Omega leads the Protoines out of the ship's hull!

Waluigi: Even they made it?!  
Omega: I hope we can participate in the festivities as well.  
Peach: That would be fine.

The group then heads over to the castle, all of them embracing each other and talking. And then Mario stops and looks up behind him into the sky, smiling.

Mario: I know you're out there, old friend. Thank you.

He takes a moment's pause until the others call him over, and then he heads over to them.

...

...  
"He's quite a friend."  
"They all are."

In the emptiness of the air, the ethereal bodies of Yoshi and the Universe are barely visible, watching over the party.

Yoshi: What happened to the others? Your other children?  
Universe: Gallax-E slew them all in an attempt to gain the power to access my realm. Ultimately, that failed.  
Yoshi: And he went for the Power Stars to break it.  
Universe: Indeed.  
Yoshi: What a crazy adventure that was though.  
Universe: You know I built that castle a long time ago in the old universe.  
Yoshi: No kidding?  
Universe: Oh yeah. Came down and did it myself for the princess.  
Yoshi: You know, I heard something about that a long time ago.  
Universe: Care to tell me about it?

The two begin to fade away into nothingness as the celebration continues.

Yoshi: I've got time.

(August 2, 2013 – August 8, 2013)


	25. Ch 24: Epilogue and Endnotes

Chapter 24: The Epilogue of Heroes

The story is almost over, but even with all the celebrations, there's still a few endings untouched.

Despite all he had been through, Bowser couldn't bear to watch the celebrations, much less peace returning to the world again. He fled back to his castle, reportedly with an upset stomach or something like that. What a nutcase, huh?

Mario and Luigi returned to the Mushroom Kingdom with Peach in hand...or so it was thought, but it seems Bowser's up to his old tricks again. Fortunately, the two will continue combating him for as long as it takes for peace to pervade throughout the world.

Donkey Kong returned to his country in order to fight off evil on that front. Cause ya never know when another freaky tiki will come robbing your banana bunches.

...seriously.

Ghoulman left to go find his brethren's new home. Eventually, he came across the Castle Boo, where he and many of the other Boos now leave in peace. He is considered King Boo's right-hand Boo and a connoisseur of fine cheeses.

Lucky returned to the reunited Breakfast Brigade to continue fighting for the rights of breakfast cereals everywhere. Eventually, they added a new member to their ranks, former TV actor Fred Flintstone of the Pebbles cereals. Lucky's just happy to be reunited with his friends.

Gary continues to perform his research and trains with Larry to improve his magical skills. He would later found the Goomba's Magic Academy for young and upcoming MagiGoombas. He has appointed Larry as one of the teachers.

Wario and Waluigi went out on a search across the world for rare and valuable treasures. It's no surprise that they were both successful and not very successful. Needless to say, Wario has had bigger things to do with his share of the wealth. It's unknown what Waluigi's planned for his share, though apparently he may not need it with his music career taking off. Rumor has it he's gone under the name "PSY".

Crimson Crusader became a crime-fighter over in the briar patch, saving the local rabbits from villainous squash and malicious crocodiles. While he appreciates the carrots the locals tend to adorn him with, he's content with merely saving the innocent.

Birdo longed for the day that her dearest Yoshi would come to her. Seeing her waiting for him from his particularly high vantage point, Yoshi sent down a reincarnated version of himself that could peacefully live with her for the rest of eternity.

And as for Yoshi himself? Well, I think that his story is covered fairly well...

* * *

Wow. After 6 long years, it's finally over. Starting this story way back in 2007, I definitely would not have expected the ending to be like this. I think I was just going to run down to fighting Bowser at the end and saving the kingdom as usual. But this! This is something all on its own! I mean, what if you went to sit down and play Super Mario 64, and instead you got this crazy adventure RPG with a bunch of characters from all walks of life, a bunch of insane randomness, and at the same time one hell of a kickass behind-the-scenes story that ended up blowing your mind at the end? I think it would be pretty awesome!

But alas, Super Mario 64 is great in its own right. It was the first 3D Mario game, and it was extremely well-done for its time frame. In fact, the game serves to hold up even now, and it gartered enough popularity to have been remade for the DS. I think it says a lot about the game developers from back then when you can make a game that good to stand the test of time.

A few thoughts on the story: like I said, starting out I would never have expected the story to come this far. I was just working on writing a story for the enjoyment of other people on the forum I go to, and it ended up being mildly successful. Unfortunately, I think mostly it was the slower updates that ended up keeping the story out of the public eye for a while, and in part for that reason, I started to bring the story to FanFiction back in 2010.

The main reasons to bring it out were to 1) give it some popularity with a new fanbase, and 2) bring it out to the public eye again. And partially to inspire myself to write the story again. 3 years for 12 chapters, sounds legit right? But bringing in the zany characters into the story, treating it more like an RPG-style game, and ultimately adding a dosage of epicness to the story is what makes this stand out more from the original.

In the beginning, this story was going to just be a tribute to the game, taking the same old events and spicing them up in a different style. Yet as the story grew, and indeed as the ideas came forth, the story changed direction. The locations were still the same, the foundation didn't change, but the story became much grander than the original design. When I first introduced the idea of the hidden enemy back in Chapter 1: Bob-Omb Battlefield, I didn't really think too much about it. At that time, I was working on The Five-Star Universe somewhat, an idea I would still love to get back to but which I think may not be revivable (though there are ideas towards the ending of it and what the plot would ultimately be, but it's the middle that once again creates a problem), so it was originally just planned to be an allusion to The Dark Stranger from that story. But when I had Wario fight this enemy, I had a vision of a much different character. Enter the beginnings of Gallax-E.

Gallax-E didn't end up having a name for a long time, and that's partially intentional for the purposes of the plot and partially unintentionally given that I really didn't have a name for him. I wanted something that sounded cool and that could possibly lead to a great villain. Super Mario Galaxy came out in 2007, though I didn't get around to playing it until 2008. And as the vision grew around that space-age theme, so too did the inevitable idea that Gallax-E would become the name. In fact, the story itself was at one point planned to lead into the events of Super Mario Galaxy.

As you can see, that didn't happen, the main reason for that being that it took me 6 years to write this story, and I don't think I'd be able to write a story for Super Mario Galaxy on the same level. So ultimately it came down to just ending it here with Super Mario 64 DS CARA (the Fanfic). But how do you end that? Final battle against Gallax-E? It seemed too simple, too plain.

And then in 2011, Homestuck made its legendary update to end Act 5.

Yeah, no kidding! Homestuck has had a partial influence on this comic! Mostly in part due to the music that plays during that update, Cascade. This music actually inspired the vision that would lead to the descriptions of Chapters 22 and 23. After that, Libera Me from Hell from Tengen Toppa Gurrenn Lagann and its ending theme Mina no Peace were the primary influences in the ultimate defeat of Gallax-E and the final ending before the epilogue.

One of the hardest parts of this story that I found to write were the battles. All those numbers to keep track of, all those characters, and the descriptions were mostly just "X used attack 1 to deal Y dge to opponent Z." Sure, it's what would appear in a normal RPG battle, but it's not as dynamic to read. The battles taking place nearer the end were far more worth reading, as they rely more on the battle script rather than just plain attack text. The battles early on were quicker to read with fewer characters, but I think the formula goes a bit stale with more characters. It demands that something like descriptive writing and dialogue be intertwined to keep it from its own blandness.

Honestly though, I think this is a pretty good story. It's slow in the middle I think cause most of it is just carrying the plot along at a snail's pace, but there are a lot of jokes that still make me laugh and even some more original jokes that make it flavorful. It does get a bit corny at times with some of the references it makes, but I think there's enough good humor and randomness to keep it going. So if you can make it past all the battle text and through the corniness to the epic finale that occurs, I'd say that this story is pretty good. Thanks for reading this fanfic! For those of you who stuck it out till the end, good on ya! I'm glad I could bring this onto FanFiction, and I hope you enjoyed it. This is aroramage, signing off on Super Mario 64 DS CARA the Fanfic!


End file.
